The Relationship Book:

Volume 10

David Bruce, Collector and Editor

 Copyright 2025 by Bruce D. Bruce

FOR MATURE READERS

This is a collection of real-life anecdotes.
Note: Some of this book is about sexy times, but most of it is not.
The relationships are of many kinds, not just partners.

I will make NO money from this book. It is royalty free and a labor of love.
Redditors tend to use a lot of profanity.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
1. Most women enjoy sex, too. (Duh!)
2. Everyone is different.
3. Communication is important.
4. Consent is essential.

Educate Yourself
Read Like a Wolf Eats
Feel Free to Give This Book to Anyone Free of Charge
Be Excellent to Each Other
Books Then, Books Now, Books Forever
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1: Questions 1-20
Chapter 2: Questions 21-40
Chapter 3: Questions 41-60
Chapter 4: Questions 61-80
Chapter 4: Questions 61-80
Appendix A: Fair Use
Appendix B: Some Books by David Bruce
Appendix C: About the Author
Appendix D: Some Books by Brenda Kennedy (My Sister)
Appendix E: David Bruce Music Videos
 Chapter 1: Questions 1-20
1. “What’s Your Funniest Bad Date Story? (And Did You Actually Wind Up Dating After
It?)”
1) azeldatothepast3 wrote:
“I’ve got a good one.
‘I met a guy online dating; he seemed super cool and I was excited to meet him. He suggested
we go skating, and I thought it was such a cool idea!
“So I put on my best layers because I hate the cold, so full thermal base layer, soft shell ski
pants, turtleneck, fleece 1/4 zip on top, wool socks, hat, mittens, Canada goose parka. All set!
“I meet him and he takes me roller skating!! I just assumed skating meant ice skating. I was
sooooo embarrassed, you wouldn’t believe it.”
theenglishfox commented:
“Urgh, I was on the flipside of this once, only it wasn’t accidental. I invited this guy I liked ice
skating, he showed up in a t-shirt and board shorts! Spent the whole day whining about how
cold he was as if ‘ice’ wasn’t literally in the name of the activity.
“I lost interest real fast; it feels kinda petty but such a massive lack of forethought was a big
turn off.”
2) MikiiiLyn wrote:
“Not really a ‘date’ date, but a guy I was casually seeing invited me to spend the first night at
his new place with him. Turned out to be essentially a tin shed with a few rooms out the back
of nowhere. Cool, whatever, plenty of people do this kind of thing where I’m from, no big
deal.
“I bought us both a couple of 6-packs to share. He got a migraine about 10 minutes in and had
to lie down for an hour or so. I figured screw it, I’m drinking, there’s nothing else to do. He got
up and was like, ‘I know what’ll fix this.’ Got into his car, drove to his Mum’s place down the
road where he was keeping some of his stuff and comes back with a baggie of coke. At that
point I just gave up and started chugging my drinks.
“I don’t remember too much after that, thank Christ, but he disappeared to the door-less
bathroom twice and puked louder than I’ve ever heard anyone puke before. Did I mention that
the toilet didn’t flush? The moment I woke up the next day, I got the hell out of there, mostly
because it was a disaster, and also because I didn’t want to use his toilet.
“HE ended up ghosting ME because he ‘felt like we were incompatible.’
“Tldr: guy invites me to tin shed, uses coke as migraine treatment, makes an already unusable
toilet even more unusable, thinks I’m the problem.”
3) Pie_J wrote, “I had hooked up with this guy whom I had known casually for a few years. He
asked me out on an ‘official date.’ I went to the restaurant and waited for 30mins. He didn’t
show up, and I was so fricken mad. He had a cell phone, but I didn’t. (Not everyone had them
then.) Finally I thought maybe he said the other pub in town. I drove over and there he was
waiting for me. He waited over an hour for me! Fast forward: Been together for 16 years,
married 11 years, and have 2 kids!”
4) Confident_Chemist982 wrote:
“One time I went on a date with a guy who tried to mansplain my own name to me. He said I
was pronouncing it wrong. It’s not an unusual or weird name. In fact it’s biblical. He literally
asked, ‘Are you sure?’ when I told him how it’s pronounced.
“No, we didn’t go out again.”
5) HolyShit_I_did_it wrote:
“First overnight trip with newly minted boyfriend; we went to Canada. I wanted to go to a very
expensive place, so I took us there, 100% my treat. I kinda wanted to show off how I could
afford it and that I had great taste in restaurants. We had a great waiter and good banter with
him while we ate.
“I thought since we crossed the border out of whack-tip-zone America that tips were included
in the bill, so I ignored the tip box and signed the full bill without thinking much about it.
“The very hurt waiter approached to ask if he had done anything wrong because of the zero tip.
I was flabbergasted and mortified at the same time. My attempt to look generous and cool to
my new boyfriend made me look like a cheap asshole.
“I ended up racing to an ATM to give a proper tip, and then the waiter himself was flustered,
insisting that he hadn’t done that to make me feel bad, he just genuinely wanted to know if his
service was bad. And we’re sitting there shoving the money back and forth for a while like ‘no,
no, take the tip,’ ‘no, no, I can’t. I shouldn’t have approached you like that. I’m sorry. That was
inappropriate,’ and eventually he did take it at my insistence.
“I felt like shit. Boyfriend felt like shit. Waiter felt like shit. What was supposed to be a nice
evening was drowned in awkwardness.
“Anyway, we are happily married now with a baby on the way, but any time Canada comes up,
the awkwardness comes up. I don’t think the awkwardness of that evening will ever go away,
maybe just fade a bit with time. Maybe.”
6) andreav- wrote:
“Spoke to a guy online. Agreed to meet for coffee. Inside ten minutes he asked me to go back
to his place and pee on him.
“There were no further meetings.”
7) Schnooos wrote, “We went on our first date and he didn’t realise it was a date. We went to a
huge concert, and I spent most of the evening trying to avoid my ex. Didn’t go that great. We
spent the night walking around and at sunrise he had the great idea we should go see it on a
roof over the bridge. All right then, that sounds like a perfect first kiss setting. So I make
myself climb 5 flights of steep stairs, thinking I must be mental. We get up, I try to hide I’m
completely out of breath and it’s the perfect moment … you know … ok here we go … here
comes the first kiss. So I lean forward, close my eyes, and stand there like an idiot. I open my
eyes, and he see that he decided to let me stand there just to climb up on the roof. Three weeks
later he told me he loved me. And the first night I spent at his place I almost died because my
dust allergy acted up. So yeah. Obviously we are married now and have a son who is just as
adorably stupid as his father.”1
2. “What Do You Want To Tell Your Spouse, But It Would Ruin Everything?”
1) sisu19 wrote, “I watched all of Stranger Things Season 4 without him while he was at
work.”
theycallhertanni commented, “I giggled so hard reading this!! Myboyfriend would kill me if I
even mentioned watching Ozark without him. Death!”
akua420 commented, “Mine fell asleep on the couch, and I marathoned the last 3 episodes and
pretended I thought he was awake.”
Marma85 commented, “Did the same with The Watcher series. ‘Oh, you fell asleep? Didn’t
notice,’ even if he snores.”
2) speedspectator wrote, “Sometimes I want to live separately, right next to each other, but stay
married, a la Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. He has some hoarding tendencies, and it really
drives me crazy. Makes me want to cry. Yes we’ve talked about it, and no ,he doesn’t think it’s
a problem. He’s very traditional about marriage, and he’d never go for this idea. To him this
would equate to asking for a divorce.”
MizTall commented, “I live in New Orleans, and my partner and I live in either side of a
double shotgun home. So basically, either side of a duplex. I don’t know if I could ever live IN
a house with anyone again. This is just so perfect.”
MizTall added:
“So originally we were neighbors, and I lived down the street. We met when I was walking my
dog, then became friends, and then eventually started dating. He owns the double shotgun
house, and his best friend was living in his other unit. After a year or so of the two of us dating,
his friend got a job in another city. My lease was about to be up, and we talked about me
moving into the other side and if it would be ‘weird’ to live next door but not together. But we
both dug the idea, so I moved in.
“It’s awesome. The backyard is shared so our rule is if our back door is open, come on in. If
not, try again later. We eat meals together, watch movies at each other’s places, have friends
over, all the fun stuff of living together but with our own bathrooms, beds, and kitchens. Zero
fights about chores or competing schedules. It’s perfect for us.”
3) NoFilterNoLimits wrote, “I can’t even bring myself to type it.”

BagTats wrote, “User name doesn’t check out.”2

3. “Girls, What Are Hints You Give That Guys Never Understand?”
1) MesWantooth wrote:
“I’m so glad the girlfriend who would become my wife was super good about hints.
“Like on our first date when she wanted to let me know we should kiss, she asked, ‘Can I kiss
you?’ and I instantly knew.”
2) NecroJoe wrote, “Once while working at a haunted hayride, I and another girl were actors in
it. In down-time between tractors, she told me she was going to pretend to be in a coma like
Sleeping Beauty over behind a tree, and she could only be awakened with a kiss from Prince
Charming. I chuckled, ‘Hehe, ok.’ A few minutes later she came back to the group, and she sat
around the fire with the group in silence. She never came back the rest of the weekend, or any
of the other weekends of the hayride.”
3) MoscaMye wrote:
“I was on a date and we’d been walking through this forest walk by the river and it was quite
romantic, so we were kissing. Eventually we stopped and got back to talking. I mentioned my
really cute cat waiting at home and asked him if he’d like to meet Mo. He said yes so we arrive
back at my house and for the next half hour he sits on the floor playing with my cat.
“Eventually I had to tell him the cat was a ploy and I’d just really wanted to take him home.”
Freshies00 asked, “Soo … we all get to ‘meet Mo’?”
MoscaMye responded, “Euphemistically speaking, that could be exhausting.”
MoscaMye also wrote:
“I had another friend turn FWB [Friend With Benefits] who I was stuck in a flirting stage with
for a while, because neither of us was brave enough to make that leap from awkward high
school friends to … not that. And so I told him this story and then afterwards said, ‘I’d really
like for you to meet Mo sometime.’
“And he replied, ‘I’m worried I’m taking this the wrong way but after hearing that story, I have
to ask if you want to sleep with me?’”
Michelrpg commented:
“Look girl, you can’t just tell a guy you have a playful cat or dog and not expect them to ignore
that.
“But for real, that’s honestly cute. At least you know he didn’t specifically go with you JUST
to fuck you.”
Bazrum commented:
“My girlfriend was mildly upset with me because she invited me over to hang out with her, and
the cat who usually doesn’t like to be held, crawled alllll over me and I got to pet her tummy
and cuddle with her for like an hour.
“Girlfriend said she’d invited me over so I could cuddle with her and not the cat,
thankyouverymuch. Haha.”
4) I_used_to_be_hip wrote, “One time I had dinner with a beautiful woman who actually made
the first move and asked me out. At the end of the night I walked her to her car and asked what
her plans were. She said she was just going to go home, open a bottle of wine, and watch The
Winter Soldier (it had just come out on DVD). I had already seen the film in the theaters, so I
said, ‘That was a good one, you’re really going to like it.’ She got in her car and drove away
and I walked back to my hotel. It didn’t dawn on me what I had done until weeks later when I
was back home.”
5) nyenbee wrote:
“I used to be pretty forward and have been turned down a lot. One of the guys I would come
on to (now married) posted on Facebook how funny I was in college when I would joke around
that I was interested in him. I told him that I was interested in him, but he always blew me off.
“Of course then he jumped in my dms [Direct Messages] to ask if it’s too late. Yeah, dude,
we’re both married now.”
roakmamba commented, “Same happened to me. Bombshell of a girl and she tells me, ‘You’re
hot,’ to my face and I thought it was a prank or some bulls—. She ends up getting with a guy
who looks like me the following year. F— my life. Lmao.”
6) Royal-Green wrote:
“I was visiting Spain, staying at a small cosey hotel. After checking in, this kinda pretty
receptionist comes to my room and says there was a mistake with my room rates and I
overpaid by 10 euros. So she can either buy me dinner tonight or give me 10 euros back.
“Poor girl was out of €10.”
morsul86 commented, “Of all I have read this one is an oof. Were you otherwise spoken for or
just completely blind to people’s advances. Haha.”
Royal-Green responded, “I was single and ready to mingle, and I was just too stupid to realize
what’s going on.”
7) heuristic_al wrote:
“I had a chemistry class in college, and this attractive young lady keeps sitting next to me and
chatting with me during breaks. I sometimes changed seats, but she would sit next to me
anyway. Eventually a friend of mine told me that it was obvious she liked me.
“So I asked her out. But she wasn’t interested. Seems like she was just hoping to be in a group
of smart people for group work. And it turns out she was in high school. F— My Life.”
8) Fragrant_Example_918 wrote, “Usually I realize it was a hint once her whole tongue’s
inside my mouth … before that she’s just a ‘really physical friend.’”
9) Unfair-Economist6109 wrote, “Before I was with my current boyfriend, I went up to him
and asked him out. He thought it was a friendly thing because I’m ‘out of his league.’ It got to
the point that one day, while we were hanging out, I literally said, ‘Ok, we’re dating now,’
because it took him 4 months and he was like ‘nice.’ :) We’ve been together for around a year
and three months.”
10) ALC_PG wrote, “My wife still makes fun of me for shaking her hand to say goodbye on
our first date and then going three dates without trying to kiss her.”3
4. “How Did You Know You Married The Right Person? Or How Did You Know You
Married The Wrong One And Needed A Divorce?”
1) Lamante wrote:
“My dad specialized in family law — particularly gross child-custody cases, abuse/neglect
situations, a lot of good old-fashioned nasty divorces. He had also been married to Mom for 52
years at the time of her death. So he’d tell you that while he doesn’t know much about what
keeps marriages together, he does know an awful lot about what ruins them. He also wasn’t big
on giving advice, particularly of the relationship variety, but it turns out that the only two
pieces of it that he ever gave me are the ones I most often dispense to others:
(1.) Any relationship that begins with a lie is already over
and
(2.) If you cannot have candid conversations with your partner about money — how
much you make, how much you spend, what you plan to spend it on, what you intend
to do to make it, what you are willing to live without if you fall short, among other
things — and make decisions about money together, you have zero business being in a
relationship with that person, much less married to them, and you should run away
from them.
“They did not steer me wrong.
“I knew my husband was the right person when five things lined up with my dad’s advice
almost immediately:
1. I was able to trust him almost instantly. I could tell him absolutely anything, and
we would get through it. (I had some major doozies to lay on him, and we got
through them.) He never told me a lie, even a white one, and he never lied by
omission. Still hasn’t. I think he is physically incapable of such a thing… Okay,
he did lie by omission once, but it was about a surprise for me and he eventually
broke down and told me about it because it was killing him. It was literally one
of the most beautiful things anyone has ever done for me and I have no way to
top that, ever. :)
2. He was consistent. He does what he says he will do, and he always
communicates with me, even about little things, like changes in the traffic
estimate on his way home. Still does.
3. He never gave me any reason to doubt his sincerity, his interest, or his
commitment to a long-term relationship with me and only me. Still hasn’t.
4. It was really clear from the start that we wanted the same things in life. We like a
lot of the same things, we find a lot of the same things fun to do, and there are
things we will both pass on. We do maintain our own hobbies outside of the ones
we share, but neither of us sees them as a distraction or a detriment.
5. There has never, from day one, been a ‘your problem’ and ‘my problem’ or ‘one
against the other.’ It has always been ‘us against the problem.’ And that has been
absolutely everything to me.
“I knew after date #5 that I was totally husbanding that guy up. Never once regretted that
decision — he was and remains the best thing about me, the best part of my life, and the best
decision ever.
“I know I won the Life Partner Lottery. Some days, I still hardly believe it. Sometimes, in the
middle of the night, I look at him, his perfect face asleep in the dark of our bedroom, and pray
that it’s not all a cruel dream that I’m going to wake up from eventually, back in my old
bummer of a life I had before he showed up.”
2) HunkyDorky1800 wrote:
“Bit long so there’s a tl;dr at the bottom 🌼
“We were together for a few years, and lived together after dating for 6 months. Don’t get me
wrong; there were ups and downs including several break-ups. Not surprising given neither of
us wanted to be in a relationship when we met. And I was 20 when I met him and he was 34.
Yeah … not ideal.
“Condensing years of our life together before marriage. I credit him pushing me to grow as a
person, and supported me when I’d have breakdowns. He took care of me physically when I
was sick, emotionally when something triggered me, and mentally when I was/am my worst
enemy. I’m likely still alive because of him.
“I’ve also supported him over the years. I held him while he cried after we visited a beloved
aunt dying in Hospice. I listened to him share his deepest secrets without judging him or
shaming him. I believe people can change. Both of us changed so much over the years. We’re
not who we were when we met almost 10 years ago or even 5 years ago.
“After marriage we struggled to get pregnant. It was devastating, and I would emotionally
crumble when I’d get my period. Then I got pregnant with our first in March 2020. He
supported me so much. Told me if I wanted to or needed to quit my stressful job I could as it
was affecting me so horribly. Eased my fears with COVID and pregnancy. Stepped up against
his family for the sake of my health and our baby when they wanted to have risky get-
togethers.
“But honestly he has really shined after I gave birth twice and had two c-sections. He
physically cared for me and did everything he could to make life easier for me while I healed.
“He’s an amazing father to our kids. Don’t get me wrong; we’re not perfect. But we try so hard
every day to make sure our kids thrive. He’s someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.
“Tl;dr I don’t really have an exact moment that I knew I married the right person. Just
sometimes I look at him, I see how he’s aged over the years and all I feel in my chest is this
deep sense of love for him. I want to keep seeing him/us age. He doesn’t believe in soulmates,
but I do. He is my soul mate. I had zero clue what he’d mean to me on our first date almost 10
years ago. I remember sitting across from him, noticing his flaws, and thinking someone who
loves him would not see these as flaws. Would’ve laughed had someone told me that would be
me. But it’s true. He’s my soulmate, and I love him more and more as time goes on.”
3) warda8825. Wrote:
“My husband and I have been married for eight years. We’ve had our fair share of ups and
downs: chemotherapy and surgeries (me), deployment (him), numerous periods of
unemployment (him), challenges of military life (both of us), excessive drinking and anger
issues (him), financially struggling (both of us), etc. It’s been REALLY hard to navigate those
challenges.
“But he’s also been an amazing partner. When I was on chemo, he lay on the bathroom floor
with me, holding my hair and rubbing my back while I vomited. Literally gave me the shirt off
his back after I had surgery and my own shirt wouldn’t fit over all the tubes and wires
emanating from every orifice of my body, and then trekked out to fetch the car and bring it to
the front entrance of the hospital, in the middle of winter! Learned how to disassemble and
reassemble my wheelchair, so that we’d never be stuck waiting on insurance bureaucracy for
repairs. Learned how to prepare and administer my meds, from injections to IV medications,
so that (in his words), I could ‘feel sickly and uncomfortable from the comfort of home,
instead of stuck in a cold, harsh clinical environment.’ Has learned the basics of numerous
medical specialties, so that he can always ask relevant questions to my doctors and nurses.
Accompanies me to my MRI/CT scans whenever he can. Etc.

“Life is hard. But even amid all the messiness of life, it can also be beautiful.”4
5. “What Sucks When You Get Married?”
1) breakwater wrote, “‘For better or worse’ includes the worse. When your spouse has a
chronic health issue, a mental health issue, substance abuse problems, you have committed to
be there for at least a reasonable effort in carrying through it together. That can be taxing
beyond belief.”
squid_actually commented:
“Yeah, a dead kid, and a lot of mental health issues later, we’re still hanging on to each other
for dear life, but we ain’t the people we were when we got married.
“There’s an episode of Mad About You where Jamie has good news, but Paul got devastated by
losing a job (or maybe it was the other way around), anyway, Jamie struggles at first, but
ultimately decides to put her celebratory mood away, and just be present with Paul. That’s not
what marriage should always look like, but it does show the kind of selflessness that makes
things work (when both people are doing that for each other).”
2) Ok-Strain-9847 wrote, “Finding out that your in-laws (who put up with you and tried to act
nice till you got married) are really assholes that normal people don’t want to deal with.”
ruat_caelum commented:
“My buddy invited me to two BBQs weekends one right after the other and told me if I could
make only one, make the second one.
“He invited the in-laws to the first and warned people. It was sort of like an aquarium; people
were watching them. One guy kept bringing up ‘gold,’ and I didn’t understand until the father-
in-law went off that gold was a scam and that Fort Knox was robbed long ago, etc.
“Second weekend was twice as packed with a much more diverse crowd.”
3) Revolutionary_Day922 wrote, “I’d always heard that my MIL [Mother-in-Law] was
controlling and narcissistic, but never really saw it. I thought it was cute if maybe a bit weird
when we first got married and she started calling us both ‘my kids.’ I did not realize she meant
that as in I had literally become her property. That relationship went downhill to LC [Low
Contact?] like a greased sled on an icy hill.”
4) smartlypretty wrote, “If it’s forever, one of you is likely to die first. (It wasn’t me.)”5
6. “Which Actor Do You Despise So Much That You Won’t Watch A Movie With Them
In It?”
Pass_the_Lasagna wrote:
“My friend’s ex was a huge Steven Seagal fan and made her sit through his films regularly,
which she loathed.
“So she came up with a plan. She pretended to have a huge crush on Seagal. Every time he’d
enter the screen she sighed or made impressed little remarks.
“After a while her boyfriend got pissed at Seagal and didn’t want to watch the films
anymore.”6
7. “What To Respond When Someone Asks, ‘Why Are You Still Single?’”
1) NoSurpridsase wrote, “The best I’ve recently heard is: supply-chain problems.”
Constant_Possible816 commented:
“I think a simple ‘why not?’ to the question ‘why are you single?’ is the best reply. It flips it on
its head from expecting you to justify yourself to requiring them to justify their reasons for
asking you this question. I guarantee that it will leave them stumped.
“It’s a really personal question. There could be lots of reasons why people are single and not
one of them requires justification. I’ll also point out that not everybody wants relationships.
Some people are terrified to be alone, and they project their fears onto others. They need to
accept that not everybody is a slave to this fear and stop projecting this onto others. It’s
actually unhealthy to go from relationship to relationship. It’s necessary to spend some time
alone to get to know ourselves as individuals.”

2) Interactiondsaew wrote, “Just lucky, I suppose!”7

8. “What Are Some Things Your Partner Does That You Brag About To Your Friends?”
1) Hekatevenstar wrote, “I don’t really brag about it. But I love to show people how
appreciative and happy I am about the fact that my husband carries me to the places where I
can’t go. (I’m paraplegic.) The man will go up 400 stairs or do a full hike with me on his back
and it makes my life so much better and exciting. So maybe I brag a bit about how strong he is,
but it’s for good reasons. Haha.”
2) Bebe_Bleau wrote:
“My husband is truly a self-made man. He came from near zero education to building his own
successful business that his children participate in and will inherit. He is highly intelligent,
catches on the things fast, and is very self-educated. At the same time he has a high emotional
EQ. Everyone loves and respects him.
“When we got married, we made a pact that we would always speak nicely to each other first.
No coming home tired and emotionally dumping on one another. No silly fights about nothing.
“We both held up our end of the bargain.”
3) unicornwantsweed wrote, “I don’t brag, but all the little stuff. Anyone can get you a big gift
on a holiday or birthday. Mine brings me a can of Pringles when he goes to the gas station.
Brings me a pretty rock he noticed on a walk. Hugs me from behind when he knows I’m upset
… and so many other small things. We’ll have been married 23 years in June.”8
9. “What Part Of Sex Do You Enjoy The Least?”
1) Red_bug91 wrote, “Movies & TV really ruined the illusion of sex. Young, naive me thought
you could just lay around & cuddle after sex. Until I started getting raging UTI’s and learned
that I had to pee after. It took years before I was actually diagnosed with a bladder condition
that essentially causes it to get inflamed after sex. It’s incredibly painful. After sex, I have to
drink a urinary alkalizer, and take medication immediately after, and a second dose 12 hours
later. It’s super romantic.”
2) oompey wrote, “The hamstring cramp mid-coitus.”
TreeLankaPresident commented, “I had a cramp at the exact moment I came once. The feeling
was complex.”
SpiceInvader1234 commented:
“I felt this comment.
“I had one two nights ago that had me crying and laughing at the same time, the worse part
was finishing on myself because of the pressure while on the floor in a fetal position trying to
rub my leg back to normal.
“Wifey was laughing so fucking hard.
“It wasn’t all terrible.”
3) OKVolume1 wrote, “Trying to change positions smoothly. It don’t work like in the movies.”
summertimeaccountoz commented, “I once managed a smooth transition from her-on-top to
me-on-top, without pulling out and without any incident, and we were both so impressed that
we had to stop for a bit to admire what had just happened.”
4) UpstairsDeer wrote, “I have an auditory processing issue, so my ears are physically fine, but
sometimes shit gets lost in translation between my ears and my brain. It’s worst when there’s
background noise/loud music. However, it rears its head during sex a lot, too. Hot and heavy
grunted/whispered instructions are often lost on me. Unfortunately, I have to ask my partners
to either speak up/repeat themselves or just physically move me where they want me. Lol.”
5) kjimdandy wrote, “When the dog jumps up on the bed, thinking he’s my fucking wingman!
GET OUT OF HERE, MAUI! I GOT IT HANDLED!”
6) 1n1n1is3 wrote, “Birth control. Condoms suck. The pill sucks. An IUD sucks. It’s super
necessary, but every option out there sucks.”
JamestheMames commented, “My wife and I agreed to have me snipped for this reason. All
the options were just messing up her hormones. Seemed to be the easiest to just have a
vasectomy and call good.”9
10. “What Is Something A Sexual Partner Has Said To You In Bed That Has Eased Your
Anxiety?
1) Far-Brothere3882 wrote:
“My husband has said so many wonderful things over the years, but the first time we had PIV
after our son was born and I was afraid it would be painful … VERY difficult birth with 10 lb
baby … ‘the minute anything isn’t comfortable, I’ll stop. Slow and easy, slow and easy. There
is no rush.’
“And I swear my worries just evaporated and it was so tender and sweet and lovely.
“This man, if I could clone him, would make me a billionaire! He’s just amazing!”
TrickAcademic9304 commented, “I also choose this woman’s husband.”
ThisOnesForMyStalker commented, “This should be the default and it kills me that it isn’t.”
2) Wawnkatawnka wrote:
“We were in our first two months of dating. We were messing around on the couch, and he
started to take my shirt off. I said I felt bloated and fat. He said, ‘I think you’re beautiful.
Would you like to get under the sheets?’
“That was nice. He respected that I didn’t want to be naked and exposed.”
3) burnmeup82 wrote, “He said, ‘You know I want more than just your body, right?’”
HorrorAvatar commented, “Holy shit, that’s hot.”
burnmeup82 replied, “It would have been even hotter if he meant it.”
4) Famous_Courage3649 said, “Asked for consent. Every step of the way. Very sexy. Very
loving. I fell in love.”
two-of-me commented, “This! I don’t know why some people say that guys should ‘just go for
it.’ Stopping for a second and asking, ‘Is this ok?’ before taking the next step is sexy as hell! It
shows that he respects you and wants to take it only as far as you want.”
Tinkerrbell0101 commented, “Absolutely agree. I think it is sweet when a man asks, ‘Can I
kiss you?’ or says, ‘I’m going to kiss you now.’ Second one is not necessarily ‘asking’ for
consent but is because it is giving a chance to say no. But I also realize that asking every time
you want to kiss is just weird and sometimes takes away the romance. But that’s for kissing.
When it goes further than kissing, then just quickly asking, ‘Is this ok?’ is so wonderful and so
easy to ask and doesn’t really take away any romance. But I think that goes both ways, and
women should also ask.”10
11. “What Is The Best Sex-Related Advice Your Parents Ever Told You?”
1) FireFromThaumatherapy wrote, “My parents didn’t want to have the talk with me, so they
had our family friend do it. He said and I quote, ‘Your body is going through a lot of changes
and you’re going to get urges to do some weird shit. It’s all normal. Unless you are like
rubbing dead puppies on your body, then come see us for help.’”
2) First_Drive2386 wrote, “When my dad caught 13-year-old me with a Playboy. I was
terrified, but he said not to worry, it was normal to be curious. Then he said the wisest thing:
‘Just remember, most women do NOT look like that.’”
3) Immediate_Sense_2189 wrote, “My dad held up my baby bro and told me that if I wasn’t
careful, this is what would happen. LOL.”
4) blivkyjayy wrote:
“Not my parents, but awkwardly and unexpectedly, my family doctor:
“‘Teenage boys and even early 20-something men are horny, barely know what they’re doing,
and barely remember to wash their balls. Don’t even let them touch you unless they show
through their actions that they genuinely respect you, care about you, and like you as much as
you like them. And even then always use a condom no matter if you’re on other birth control
because babies aren’t the only thing you can pick up from sex. And never get with a guy who’s
hounding you for it.’”
5) TheGameForFools wrote:
“My dad gave me a sex talk when I was in my teens that was pretty explicit about how a
woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex.
“He also gave me a book called The Guide to Getting It On. And suggested I read it and he’d
answer any questions.
“By the time I was having sex, I felt very confident about how it worked and how to make
women feel good.
“I’ve tried to keep building up my skills and knowledge over the years with different courses
and books.
“Partners have always been complimentary. I can thank dear ol’ dad for that.”
6) classic_lurker wrote, “A gentleman never tells.”
StaunchMiracle added, “Or shares nudes.”
7) NightDreamer73 wrote:
“My mom: ‘You know what people who practice the pull-out method are called? Parents.’
“In all seriousness, though, my mom answered any questions I had and even helped me get a
doctor’s appointment arranged when I decided I wanted to be on the pill. I’m eternally grateful
that she made it easy to go to her for any questions or advice.”
8) ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN wrote:
“When I first started dating my now-wife, my parents gave me a box of condoms and basically
said, ‘We know you’re going to have sex, so just be careful.’

“We had already been sleeping together for about a month, but hey, free condoms!”11
12. “Do You Fart In Front Of Your Partner? Why? Why Not?”
1) Ok-Echidna3385 wrote, “Cute, but kinda sad story. My grandma and grandpa were together
for forty years. My grandma never farted in front of him ever. She was diagnosed with cancer
and after a good battle was sent home on hospice. The day before she passed, she farted in
front of him. It wasn’t loud and it really stunk, but we all knew it was her. My grandpa didn’t
even blink and apologized to us and took the blame. It was something small, but it’s been years
since it happened and it still gives me that awe feeling. He knew how she felt and her stance
about farting in front of her partner.”
2) Knyfe-Wrench wrote:
“No.
“I fart behind my partner, so it sneaks up on her.”
3) pmarges wrote, “Not purposely. I might have an accident every now and then. Like lifting
something heavy.”
RawChicken776 commented, “I hate when the accidental fart happens…but at the same time it
can be quite funny. Was helping my girlfriend’s father lift a coffee table … and in the process I
ripped one … a loud one, mind you. THANKFULLY the father was very chill about it, and
admitted that he farts around his wife, so I instantly felt better about it. Still was awkward at
first.”
4) lolol69lolol wrote:
“I mean according to the comments in our house, it’s always the dog(s).
“But yes, yes I do. We’re married. I wasn’t about to spend the rest of my life hiding a very
natural bodily function. He also knows that I poop.”
NeutralTarget commented, “I tried blaming it on the dog. She keeps saying we don’t have one,
except me.”
pishipishi12 commented, “My husband ran inside the gas station yesterday and I was in the car
with the kids/dogs. I tried to sneak out a fart. It was a death bomb. I fessed up when he asked
and he said, ‘You literally had four other living creatures to blame it on.”
maggos commented, “I was talking to my brother at his house and out of nowhere his daughter
came running downstairs, backed into him and farted on his leg, and ran back upstairs
giggling. Then his other two kids ran down and did the same, a few minutes in between. He
was just like, ‘I’ll get them back later.’”12
13. “In Honor Of Jerry Springer’s Passing, What’s The Most Jerry Springer Situation
You Have Witnessed Or Experienced In Real Life?”
That80sguypimp wrote:
“I went round to a mate’s house when I was a youngster. While he and I were sitting in his
room playing Nintendo and listening to sounds, his mother and his sister started having a
massive argument outside his room. Like really fucking screaming and shouting at each other.
You know that way people get when they go louder than their voices can handle? Like that.
And then just when it seemed to be calming down this little nugget flew out of the mother’s
mouth: ‘I’m sick and tired of pretending to be Kevin’s (not his real name) mother. You should
be taking care of him; he’s your son!’
“A wide-eyed Kevin stops playing Nintendo for a minute just staring at the screen. Not
knowing what to do or what to say. Then the door opens, and his sister/mother looks in and
dies as she seeing us sitting there. Door closes, voices get raised again, swearing goes through
the roof, things start to smash.
“I was never invited round again.”13
14. “What Is The Most Interesting Story You Have Of An Ancestor (Past Your Parents’
Generation)?
1) Ughim50 wrote, “My great-grandfather was from a wealthy family back in Greece / Albania
in the 1890s. He had a tryst with a peasant girl who got pregnant. Rather than let him marry the
peasant girl, the family arranged for my great-grandfather to be sent to America. Not to be
outdone, the peasant girl and her family saved up enough money and sent her to America after
him. She found him in New York, and they got married there.”
2) jakehosnerf wrote, “My great-grandfather grew up super poor in Italy. He had an infection
of some sort in his arm that would kill him if untreated, and because he was poor, it was left
untreated. So one day, at age 14, he and a few friends found a bottle of liquor, a tree stump, and
an axe. The only pictures I’ve seen of him, he has only one arm.”
3) VoodooGWA wrote:
“My grandfather during WW2. He was born in 1908 so lived through both WW, and since we
live in Moselle (northeast of France), he lived in occupied territory from the beginning every
time, and spoke perfect German.
“He was a mechanic so when Germany invaded the second time he was put to work fixing
vehicles. Except he pretended to not understand a single word of German. The soldiers always
took so long explaining him what needed to be done, he would mess up, whatever could be an
honest mistake without him being in too much danger. The commander hated him for all of
this, but needed the skills since he was good.
“At the end of the war, when they received the orders to retreat, my grandfather gave them a
farewell speech in the best, most well-spoken German possible, basically saying ‘Fuck you,
good bye.’ The 2nd in command was so furious about being made a fool all this time that he
reached for his gun but was stopped by his chief because it was not worth it and they were
running out of time.”
4) Healthy_Chipmonk_990 wrote:
“One of my great-grandmothers’ grandma was an aristocrat. She fell in love with a peasant boy
working on their lands. Her father told her he would disown her if she wanted to be with that
boy. So one dark night the boy got my grandma escaped from their home and they ran away.
Needless to say, she was disowned.
“And that’s the story of why I have to work now, instead of just seeing my monthly allowance
show up on my bank account.
“Omnia vincit amor. [Love conquers all.]”14
15. “How Did You Lose Your Virginity?”
1) danihilation wrote:
“It was in high school; some girl I had a crush on used me for a one-night stand.
“We went to her place to watch a movie because her parents were out. We started making out,
and then she asked if I wanted to fuck. Of course, I said yes. She rode me like a demon, and we
both passed out after.
“Never did find out how Gothika ended.”
2) RCKJD wrote, “My long-distance online girlfriend came to visit me. I had my first romantic
kiss when I picked her up from the airport. I drove us to a small vacation apartment that I had
rented for the first three nights. After unpacking some stuff and her calling her mom to say she
had arrived, she went to take a shower. When she came out, she wore a negligee and seduced
me.”
3) TooYoungToBeThisOld1 wrote:
“I was hanging out with some friends at my house and this girl joked about how I wouldn’t
fuck her right then and there.
“Well, I wasn’t joking, and I did.
“But. Turns out that my buddy who was there paid her $25 to do it. Which I’m flattered it cost
so little but at the same time… I mean…. My virginity was bought/sold behind my back. So
that hurts in a hard-to-describe way.
“Edit: You’re all making me wish I said no so I could sell my virginity for more. xD
“Edit2: An update for everyone wondering when this took place. I am 22 right now. This didn’t
happen in 1970 when $25 was worth $200, or in Zimbabwe.”
LiquorEmittingDiode commented, “She wouldn’t do it for $25 if she didn’t already want to do
it.”
4) lumineumineo wrote, “I visited my long-distance boyfriend for the first time and we were
planning to fuck on a bouncy castle in the middle of the night. We got there and the bouncy
castle was gone, but I told him I still wanted to fuck him so he told me to lie down right there
on the hill and that’s how it happened. Lol.”
5) irow40 wrote, “15 years old at Disney World in Orlando. Met a French girl (16) in the pool
and she took me to her hotel room while her parents were out. I LOVE DISNEY.”
classic_wj commented, “There’s a reason why the Disney slogan is ‘where dreams come
true.’”
6) JllydSph wrote, “My boyfriend thought it wouldn’t fit, I thought so, too. Spent the first few
minutes trying to get it in, then I got on top and sat on him. One of the best moments of my
life.”
7) InvasiveTepees wrote, “On the bench to the kitchen table in my parents’ house. It was my
first boyfriend, and we had secretly loved each other for years. We finally started dating and
we were both afraid to be intimate until finally, in the middle of the night while everyone was
asleep and we were eating some snacks, I was like ‘Take your pants off,’ and he jumped up
and said, ‘I thought you’d never ask.’”15
16. “What Have Your Parents Found In Your Room That You Were Hiding?”
1) t-h-e-chief wrote, “My mother opened my cupboard and a pile of fake ‘sick notes’ that I had
forged fell out. A sick note is a note you would hand in at school to explain your absence.
Worst part was that I had made a grammatical error in the writing, and my mum was furious
that my teachers would think she was stupid.”
2) YouCanBuild_a_tree wrote, “Weed and thong panties with an anarchy symbol. What a bad
girl.”
3) ThePainCrafter wrote, “My girlfriend at the time, quickly getting dressed in the closet. She
told them that she spilled something on her clothes and didn’t want me to watch her undress. I
don’t think they bought it.”16
17. “What Was ‘The Incident’ At Your High School?”
1) Europa_Gains wrote, “Someone brought their capybara to school, and it ended up becoming
class president.”
2) Malicious_Tacos wrote:
“We had so many pregnant teen girls that they had their own gym class.
“A friend of mine who had a fake leg — he had a solid metal rod from mid-thigh to mid-calf
from childhood leukemia so he couldn’t bend at the knee, was in the same class. Just this one
poor guy and 30 pregnant 16-year-olds.”
3) AggressiveSmoke4054 wrote, “In high school we had two kids both named Logan. Both last
names were very similar. One was popular and the other was not. Unpopular Logan was drunk
and ran across a road in the middle of the night and was killed by a semi-truck. The next day
the principal announced that popular Logan had died. Popular Logan was late for school.
Everyone was very sad. Then popular Logan showed up, and the entire school rejoiced that
unpopular Logan was the one who died. Was fucked up.”17
18. “What Is The Best Thing Your Partner Has Done For You?”
1) luckbealady92 wrote, “So many things. But one that I will absolutely never forget is the first
shower we took together the day we got home from the hospital after delivering our stillborn
son. I hadn’t showered in 3 days, and my husband scrubbed off all the tape residue for me and
washed my hair for me and it was just such a loving and intimate thing for him to do.”
MainTelosFury commented:
“I love doing this for my wife! She suffers from depression and PTSD (SA) so sometimes days
are hard for her, I try to get her in the shower with me and give a good wash all over and her
hair as well. After I care for her hair, put some oil and comb it with low heat.
“She tells me she loves and appreciates it and I’m just happy I’m able to help anyway I can;
she would help with my depression showers but I have a certain routine and system on how I
wash myself so I just ask for company instead. Lol.”
2) blewberyBOOM wrote:
“This story is pretty gross, so I apologize.
“My (now) husband and I started dating just before the pandemic hit. We had been dating only
a few months when we were thrown into lockdown. Where I live initially you were allowed to
see only members of your household, so if we wanted to see each other, we had to live
together, so he came to stay with me even though we had been dating only a short time.
“I lived in a one-bedroom, one-bathroom basement suite, so it was an adjustment having
another human in my space suddenly. I also at the time had unbelievably rough periods.
Buckets of blood. Every month felt like the elevator scene from The Shining. (I’ve since gotten
an IUD, and things are much better.)
“Within one month of him moving in, the inevitable happened. I woke up one morning to an
incredibly gushy feeling between my legs. My period had started in my sleep. I waddled to the
bathroom as quickly as I could only to find the door closed. Blood immediately started pouring
down my legs and pooling at my feet in the hallway.
“I had a decision to make. I could waddle to the kitchen to get some paper towels to clean
myself up, but then I would leave a literal trail of blood behind me, or I could knock on the
door and admit I had an emergency, but then he would see me standing in a pool of period
blood, which isn’t very sexy when dealing with a guy you just started dating and who had
nowhere to escape to. I was full on panicking.
“Before I could make up my mind my dog arrived on the scene, and very helpfully decides he
can clean up the mess, meaning the only option left for me was to stand there in the hall in a
growing pool of my own blood, trying to hold my hound dog back with one hand so he doesn’t
get into my mess and yelling at him to go to his crate and pointing with the other hand while I
tried to figure out how to deal with this. Waddling to the kitchen to grab paper towels was no
longer an option because as soon as I left my defensive position my dog was going to get into
it, and I couldn’t knock on the door because my dog was taking my full attention, so all I could
do is stand there and plead with my dog to leave it alone.
“Needless to say, my (now) husband heard my desperate pleas in the hall and finished up his
business to see what was going on. He immediately scooped up my dog and asked me if I was
ok. (It was a LOT of blood.) Once he determined I wasn’t injured, he quickly ushered me into
the shower.
“By the time I got out of the shower, he had put my dog in the crate so he was out of the way,
cleaned up the puddle I had made on the floor (thankfully it was laminate), and rinsed out my
clothes and threw them in the wash. He had gotten me fresh underwear, clothes, and a towel
and put them in the bathroom for me. He started a pot of coffee. When I got out, I was
mortified and he just continued to calmly assured me that there was nothing to be embarrassed
about, periods happen, and it was no big deal. He hugged me and told me he loved me and that
he will always take care of me. He didn’t make me feel gross or ashamed or dirty; he just saw
me panicking and did what he could to help, even if that meant cleaning up my uterine lining
off the floor. He took care of me, my dog, and my space. He put me first.
“There have been a lot of other times since then that he has put me first, but this one really
stood out to me because it was the moment I realized that I never need to be embarrassed or
ashamed in front of my partner. He will never make me feel less-than or undesirable or gross,
even at my absolute worst. He will always take care of me and our family (the dog), no matter
what.”
TinyBlonde15 wrote, “Similar story. Been living with him for only a few months. During
pandemic. Put in a tampon to go to work. We were driving together. Within a single hour the
damn regular-size tampon bled through my panties and my clothes. I rarely have fast and
heavy flows like that, and we are running late to work. I just burst into tears. And am in
bathroom trying to get off the underwear to clean up and try to figure out a solution. He tells
me to hand them to him. Gets me a fresh pair. Tells me he will soak them — it’s just blood. I
get situated with a super-size and new clothes. Then we go to the car. Instead of heading
straight to work, he stops by Dollar General, saying he needs something. Comes back with
Pamprin pills, more tampons, my favorite drink, my favorite chips, my favorite chocolates. I,
of course, burst into tears because no man had ever been so kind about functions that were out
of my control before. Even my dad acted weird when he had had to come with me to the
grocery store and buy products. This man just wanted me comfortable and to do whatever was
in his power for me. I remember thinking. He’s a fucking keeper. We are to be married soon,
and I said yes without hesitation when he asked.”
2) TimeConstraints wrote:
“Let’s go into the wayback machine.
“She became my wife in 1987 when I was 26 years old. At that moment my career prospects
were bright. Our future was kittens and rainbows.
“Not even a year after the wedding, and I suffered a career catastrophe. I found myself
unemployed, lost our living accommodations, we both were far from our homes, and I was
with a new wife who had given up her own good career to marry me. (She worked for a
foreign government. They fired her when she married a USAmerican.)
“A lesser woman would have turned mean or left, but not her. She called in a favor and found
us a bedroom in the house of an elderly friend. She supported me while I looked for a new job.
Her sisters visited from overseas and contributed food to our living arrangements. She was so
optimistic that we went house hunting.
“I pivoted to a new career. Within two years I owned a home. Another year later and I had
landed a prestigious overseas assignment.
“Women are always saying that men can’t have the best of them if they can’t stand the worst of
them. My wife got the worst of me and stuck with it. I remember.”18
19. “What Is Your Opinion On Having Sex In The Same Room While Pets Have Access
To Or Are In The Same Room?”
1. msilv1104 wrote, “We’ve always had cats and they just run away when we start having sex;
they want no part of a bouncing bed. Lol.”
Aremier commented:
“One time while we were doing couch stuff, my cats were having the zoomies and one of them
used my back as a springboard to launch up onto the bookshelf.
“We don’t do couch stuff anymore.”
gggggrrrrrrrr commented:
“My cat loves lying in our bed with us but hates being on the bed while we have sex. So if he’s
chilling with me while I watch TV and my partner comes in the bedroom, he wakes up and
starts watching us suspiciously to see whether we’re going to sleep or have sex. If we touch
each other too much, he huffs and stomps out of the bedroom to go find another place to nap in
peace.
“As far as he’s concerned, sex is just us spitefully being loud and flailing around for the sole
purpose of interrupting his sleep.”
2) savior_self_ wrote, “Not a fan. Girlfriend’s Jack Russell bit my ass because it thought I was
hurting her — that or it wanted some of this sweet rump steak.”
3) brainrex wrote, “My wife and I got a dog after we got married. The dog is very attached to
me and has to be in the same room at all times. We started locking her out during sexy time
because she would just jump on the bed and investigate sometimes. Locking her out made the
dog upset so she would literally slam her body against the door. Then we decided to give her a
treat that takes a bit of time to chew on. She accepted this and stopped trying to knock down
the door. However, now when my wife and I are cuddling and watching tv and maybe kiss
each other, the dog gets really excited and starts begging for her treat. Basically my wife and I
can’t kiss in front of our dog, or she freaks out because she thinks it’s time for a treat. Pavlov’s
dog gone terribly wrong.”
4) Background-Factor 817 wrote:
“We tend to kick the cats out; the wife suddenly throwing the cats out of the bedroom is
generally a good sign of things to come.
“Edit: Told my wife about this post and she reminded me of the time we thought we had
kicked both cats out … as we started to get busy, we were interrupted by an urgent scrapping at
our bedroom door.
“It was our youngest cat trying to escape from the sheer horrors happening in the room; the
absolute panic in her eyes is a sight I (and the cat) will take to the grave.”
5) whywasthatagoodidea wrote, “If he can lick his dick in front of me, he can handle that.”

6) S3E3ro wrote, “I do it all the time. My fish doesn’t seem to care.”19

20. Moegreeb, “What’s Your Favourite ‘Oops, I Just Really F[**]Ked Up’ Moment?”
Midnightsunofabitch wrote:
“My brother tells a tale of woe about the day his college girlfriend was obviously just itching
for a fight.
“They were hanging out when she complained about the weight she’d gained. He said he
hadn’t noticed. She called him a liar. He maintained that he hadn’t noticed. Finally she said,
‘DUDE! I’m exactly FIVE FEET TALL and I’ve gone from 100lbs to 110! That’s like 20lbs
on a regular-size person. How could you not notice? Either you’re lying or you don’t notice me
AT ALL! So which is it?’
“So bro finally, and reluctantly, said, ‘I guess I can see it A LITTLE, but you look gr—’
“She immediately interrupted with ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe you just called me fat!’
“This led to the biggest fight they’d ever had until their eventual break-up a full two years
later.”20
 Chapter 2: Questions 21-40
21. What’s The Dumbest Thing Someone Has Done While Hitting On You?”
1) DarkField_SJ wrote:
“Since I’m Asian-American, it’s happened a lot that guys try to impress me by speaking some
random Asian language to me. I don’t speak any Asian languages.
“Whenever that happens, I always respond in fluent French, and then act surprised when they
don’t understand ‘white language.’”
2) AshenSkyleer wrote:
“I was wearing a ‘love is love’ tee in the colors of the lesbian flag, with my girlfriend, at
PRIDE, and some dude came up to creep on me.
“Bro, I can’t get any gayer, leave me alone.”
3) chunkybananapancakes wrote, “A guy asked if he could come home with me. When I
declined, he asked, ‘Who hurt you?”
PaddlesOwnCanoe commented, “Tell him, ‘The guy I buried in my basement.’ Do not smile;
just give him a dead stare.”21
22. “What’s The Weirdest Thing You’ve Ever Heard Someone Say During Sex?”
1) AffablePineapple wrote, “‘That’s the first time I made love to a woman and didn’t think
about a man.’ What? I had no idea.”
2) SneakyKillz wrote:
“When a fwb [friend with benefits] first asked me to dirty talk. As an 18-year-old, I had no
clue what would be a slightly degrading yet sexy thing to say. I stressed and I called her a
cheap street hooker.
“She just burst out in laughter, and the moment was totally gone. I still cringe a little bit when I
think about it.”
3) Spicy-Nugget937 wrote, “A guy I used to see shouted ‘Bingo!’ when he came once. That
was awkward.”
4) ComputerPresent7486 wrote, “Literally midfuck she goes, ‘Hey, how is your mom doing
these days? It’s been a while since we’ve seen them.’”
5) BusinessElectronic52 wrote, “You cat is swatting my balls.”
6) RobertBDwyer wrote:
“I dunno if it’s weird, but one time I slapped my wife’s ass as I finished rather spectacularly
and exclaimed, ‘THAT is how BABIES are made!’

“Five weeks later she showed me a positive pregnancy test.”22

23. “What Is The Most Abrupt Way You’ve Left A Crappy Job?”
Cloberella wrote:
“My husband passed away 12/25/2017.
“I started working at […] in March of 2018. My boss was a woman in her late 40’s obsessed
with Sex and the City and Lifetime/Hallmark romances. She was thrice divorced and had a real
hectic dating life. She frequently would read us sexts from her various boyfriends during
lunch. One time she said to me, ‘You’re so lucky to be widowed. I’ve been divorced 3 times
and don’t know if anyone ever loved me. At least you know you were loved.’ Which, quite
frankly, I can answer that question for her if she really wants. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
“But I digress. She wanted to try and ‘fix’ my aversion to Christmas, ala Lifetime. She decided
she could make me ‘fall in love’ with the holiday again if she just forced maximum Christmas
upon me. Mind you this was the first anniversary of his death. This was fresh. This hurt, and
quite frankly, it still hurts.
“She decided the way to make me regain my Christmas cheer would be to put me in charge of
planning and hosting a client Christmas party. I talked to her multiple times about how I could
not do this, how it would be mentally devastating to me, how I was filled with anxiety even
thinking about it, how I have a literal PTSD diagnosis. She did not care. She was convinced
she could Ghost of Christmas Future my problems away and make me holly jolly again.
“So, instead of planning anything. I spent all of November and December applying for other
jobs while claiming to be working on the party. I sent her lists of items I never ordered, invoice
approvals for invoices I didn’t end up putting through, etc. The day the Christmas Party was
supposed to happen, I sent a Christmas card to the office with my resignation, blocked her on
everything and never went back.
“Merry fucking Christmas, Linda!”
2) penningtoons101 wrote, “I worked with a guy whose wife was dying of liver failure. He
ended up missing a lot of work to be there for her in the hospital and take care of the kids. The
bosses told them they would work with him and not to worry about the time he was missing.
Out of the blue, they fired him for missing too much work. They told us this in a meeting and
told us we were going to have to pitch in and help with his work. I asked when his position
would be replaced and they told us there wasn’t a plan for that at the moment, so the team
would have to permanently step up. I quietly filled my car with my own things and sent an
email over the weekend that I had been offered another job and would not be returning
Monday. I was really happy to leave them short staffed after what they did.”
3) zerbey wrote, “I’d been there only two weeks. It was a Summer job and I hated every
second of it. I’d already secured a new position so I marched into my manager’s office with
my ‘I quit!’ speech prepared (it was ‘I quit!’) and before I could open my mouth he said, ‘Oh
hey [zerbey], I was gonna talk to you and let you know I’m afraid we have to lay you off, but
we’ll pay you out the rest of the week. Sorry about that.’ I thanked him, and wandered out with
a big smile on my face. Shitty job, but the free extra week of pay made up for it, I guess.”
4) tag_yourself wrote:
“I worked for a shitty small company. During COVID they decided I was to work in the office
alone and they set up cameras pointed at my desk to monitor me.
“I wrote up my resignation email and scheduled it to send during a random time during my
lunch break (like 12:37 or some shit). Before I left for lunch, I deleted everything I had ever
written or done, all of my emails, all of the projects I was working on… if I had touched it, it
was deleted.

“I left for lunch, put the office key in the mailbox, and never looked back.”23
24. “What’s Your ‘Fucked Around And Found Out’ Story?”
1) Plug_5 wrote, “Walking down the sidewalk in NYC with my wife, I saw a banana peel on
the ground and was like, ‘Why do they always show people slipping on these? How slippery
can they be?’ I then proceeded to put all my weight on it, and totally did the legs flying up in
the air landing on my butt thing like you see in cartoons. I look up and my wife was rolling her
eyes to the point that I think she was seriously wondering how she married me.”
2) Meet_the_Meat wrote:
“When I was 13 a friend and I hopped onto a slow-moving freight train for … kid reasons.
“Then we took a 7-hour ride through nowhere before it slowed down again.
“Mom was pissed about that phone call.”
3) d-dinossaur wrote:
“When I was in middle school, my parents used to buy granola bars to have around as quick
snacks for us kids. Well, one day they came home with a Costco-size box of Fiber One bars. I
had no clue what fiber did, all I knew was those bars were tasty and I had an insatiable
appetite, so I went to town. The next day at school my stomach was absolutely killing me. I
mean it felt like steel wool was ripping around my intestines. It was so bad I had to have the
school nurse call my parents to pick me up. When my dad arrived he asked if I had eaten
anything unusual, so I fessed up to mowing through Fiber One bars.
“Dad: ‘Do you know what fiber does?’
“Me: ‘No."
“Dad: ‘How many did you eat?’
“Me: ‘Six.’
“Cue the absolutely maniacal laughter from my father. That was about 20 years ago, and I still
haven’t lived that one down.”
4) Eveningwisteria1 wrote:
“I was a 7-year-old at a kids’ party, and we all walked down to the bodega on the corner for
Slushies. I finished mine and while we were all hanging at the pool, I noticed an unattended
Slushie another girl had. I was still thirsty and being a greedy little shit, I put the straw to my
lips for a sip.
“I just didn’t realize a bee was stuck upside down in the straw, stinger first. Stinger meets lip.
Swollen for days.
“Greatest story of karma I’ve ever encountered.”24
25. “People Of Reddit, What Was The Worst Date You Ever Had?”
1) tam_bun wrote:
“He arrived late, looked nothing like his pictures (like 10 years older, and quite a few
kilograms heavier). He spoke over and interrupted me the entire 20 minutes I put up with the
date. He’d ask me what some of my favourite things were and when I told him, he’d tell me
why I was wrong about my choice.
“At the end of 20 minutes and my first drink, I told him I was done. He said, ‘But if you don’t
have another drink, how will I roofie you?’
“I told him never to contact me again; he asked if we could share an Uber home.”
2) TheFanFuxion wrote, “I once went on a date where they talked about their ex the entire
time. Felt more like a therapy session than a date.”
3) eltaco65 wrote, “We went to a nice coffee shop and were about maybe 5m into the date
when this obviously lonely and awkward older gentleman sits down next to us and says he
couldn’t help overhear that she was a teacher. He proceeded to non-stop talk for almost an hour
and we kept just giving each other looks of stress and tried to politely tell him that it was our
first date and we were trying to get to know each other. Well, that made him even more excited
and he wanted to stay to see how it went. Eventually we just got up and said we needed to go.
At least we had something funny to talk about on our walk after. Lol.”
4) yuri2203 wrote, “The guy showed up wearing a fedora and carrying a ukulele, and insisted
on singing all of his answers to my questions. Needless to say, I never saw him again.”
5) Boba_tea_thx wrote:
“I met a guy from Tinder at Taco Mac when I was 21. Let’s call him Larry since I forgot his
real name.
“He texted me 20 minutes early asking what I’d like to drink, but I didn’t see it until I walked
in. No big deal—until I realized Larry was about 40 pounds heavier than his photos. I don’t
judge weight, but using years-old pics is shady, especially since we’d Snapchatted and I hadn’t
noticed a thing.
“When I sat down, Larry was already tipsy and annoyed because the bartender refused to let
him order a drink for me before I arrived. He complained loudly about it, but I was more
concerned he thought it was okay to order for me without asking. Kudos to the bartender for
shutting that down.
“Larry, meanwhile, was a mess. He admitted he’d had only one drink but got drunk because
he’d just donated plasma for cash and hadn’t eaten. His friend, who was sitting across the
restaurant, had dropped him off.
“Things got worse. Larry said he was hungry, and while I grabbed a menu, he started chatting
with the guy two stools over. Larry asked what he was eating (a quesadilla), if it was good, and
then if he could have some. To my shock, the guy gave him a huge piece, and Larry yelled for
a plate and utensils before diving in.
“I was done. While Larry was busy talking to his new friend, I asked the bartender for my
check. She immediately understood. I paid, stood to leave, and Larry finally noticed. He asked
why I was rushing off—and if he could have a goodbye kiss. I told him to f*** off and left. He
couldn’t follow me because he still had to pay his bill. I blocked him before I even got to my
car.
“Edit to add: At some point, he very upset and angry at me after I casually mentioned that I’d
never seen Casablanca.”
6) Itscompanypolicyman wrote:
“Alex was wealthy, and I was honored that he wanted to go on a date with me! We went to a
nice restaurant, and he was funny and charming. When we were finished eating, I swept my
crumbs into my hand, pooled them into my salad bowl, and stacked the empty dishes to help
out the busboys. Alex looked at me like I had grown a sudden fuckin boil or something and he
asked: ‘Are you cleaning up after yourself? That’s their job.’
“I paused, realized he didn’t see many people as human, and never texted him back again.
Shame on you, Alex.”
7) Salty12006 wrote, “When I was younger, I went to pick up a girl for a date I had talked to
over the phone but never actually met. I wasn’t familiar with the part of town where she was
from, but it did not look like a good place. It basically looked like a run-down poorer area. I
was already nervous due to it being a first date and the neighborhood looking rough, but when
I walked up to her house all of a sudden this huge gorilla-looking guy came flying through the
door with a baseball bat. I took off running back to my car, not knowing if this Sasquatch man
was still behind me or not. When I was finally in the car and about to take off, I saw my date at
the front door yelling at him to stay inside. She walked to my car and I asked her if everything
was ok, she said yes and that was just her dad being goofy … We went on the date, but all I
can remember is thinking, how do I get this girl home without getting killed. I drove her back
home and dropped her off; needless to say there wasn’t a second date.”
8) MountainMapleMI wrote, “College classmate, took her to a movie in December and my fuel
line froze. Hammer to no avail breaking the ice, tow back to shop, and I crash at her place …
hear her vibrator taking a pounding from the couch.”25
26. “What Last-Second Decision Changed The Entire Course Of Your Life?”
1) illustriousocelot_ wrote:
“Not my story but … I attended a wedding a few months back and found out the bride and
groom’s ‘meet cute’ involved the groom being a drunken hero.
“The bride and groom met in college. The groom was attending a party the bride’s roommate
was throwing. The bride went to bed early. One of the guys at the party got into her room and
tried to force himself on her.
“Meanwhile, our hero (the groom) was drunk off his ass and desperately searching for a
bathroom to throw up in. What he found was the bride’s bedroom, where he immediately
proceeded to vomit all over the would-be rapist’s back/head. He went to apologize, but the
asshole fled the scene. He tried to apologize to the girl (who had traces of his vomit on her
bed/floor), but she promptly burst into tears, hugged him, and thanked him profusely.
“Our hero was confused.
“But, three years later, they were getting married.
“And it never would’ve happened if this guy didn’t decide to get stupid drunk one night.”
2) _nocturnalfrolic wrote:
“Not me, but I accompanied a guy friend to his big brother’s wedding last year.
“The bride and groom seemed like a bit of an odd couple. I knew he was a hard-partying
fuckboy because my friend had told me some ‘legendary’ stories about him. The bride was a
Mormon college student. Very sweet but pretty shy and soft spoken.
“I asked HOW these two met/got together. Apparently the bride was going door to door, to
spread the word of the lord, when she got to the house the groom shared with three friends.
The groom was expecting a Tinder date and opened the door in his boxer briefs.
“When he realized his mistake, instead of putting something on, he decided to just stand there,
in the hopes he would be put on the Mormon Church ‘blacklist’ (should such a thing exist) and
never be bothered by missionaries again.
“The mortified bride pointed out that he was … poking out of his shorts a bit. He shrugged.
Rather than racing off in tears, she went off on him. Called him a ‘dastardly, dishonorable
deviant,’ among other things.
“I guess this really got his engine going and he invited her in to ‘share the word of the lord.’
She refused. She started to leave and he followed her across the lawn in his underwear.
Somehow all this led to a ‘friendship’ that led to a romance that led to marriage.
“So many weird (and questionable) choices led to these two getting together. But they seem
quite happy now.”26
27. “What Is The Coolest Thing Someone Has Done To Get Your Attention?”
1) Cutenpixie wrote:
“I took the train home, suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder and a guy with a slightly bruised
chin presented me his phone. Then I see the note on his phone, it goes like this: “Hey, I think
you’re cute and I would love to get to know you, but I had a tough dental treatment and my
mouth won’t function, so that’s the only way I can talk to you. Can I get your phone number?”
“I gave him my phone number; it was pretty cute. We didn’t go out in the end, but I think it
was cool that even though he couldn’t talk, he still had the confidence to try his luck!”
2) Some_Girl_2073 wrote:
“Drive by and honk in a large backhoe while he was grinning like an idiot!
“We had been talking for a good while, and I absolutely knew it was him and it was
specifically for me. I know this is one of those things that could absolutely be terrifying or
offensive given the context, but in this context it was absolutely awesome.”
3) DarkField_SJ wrote:
“When my fiancé and I were ‘just dating,’ not engaged yet, he wrote me a silly Limerick for
St. Patrick’s Day. I giggled and told him as a joke that he should write me a sonnet next.
“When I saw him the next day, he handed me a piece of paper. I unfolded it and HE F###ING
DID IT! I happy cried; he totally upgraded his status in my eyes. We were engaged in May!”
4) aeija wrote, “Started singing karaoke of a song with my name in it while I was at the bar
with my friends.”
5) 8052 headlights wrote:
“When I was in high school, I was in a play and had multiple scenes with a cute guy. There
was one scene where he had to show me something on a piece of paper, and then we would
both freeze for about a minute looking at the paper while another character spoke. At our last
show, he wrote on the piece of paper, ‘Can I take you to dinner?’ And I was truly stunned. I
had to stand there for a minute on stage and pretend nothing happened! It was such a clever,
thoughtful way to ask.
“It didn’t work out after the date. (The chemistry just wasn’t there.) He actually ended up
going out with my friend, and they are now married and two kids in.”27
28. “What Are Your Real-Life Friends-To-Relationship Stories?”
1) zxsxz wrote:
“We met through mutual friends who were in dental school. (She and I were not.) I always
thought she was out of my league. A mutual friend even asked her, ‘What about zxsxz?’ To
which she replied, ‘Uh … no.’ I happened to be sitting right next to her.
“Fast forward a few months, and the dental students all had exams. She and I were like, ‘Sooo,
you wanna hang out?’ We became closer friends over pizza-by-the-slice and movie rentals.
She would walk me to my car when I left to have a smoke. Her roommates would always look
out the window to see if they could catch our first kiss. We never thought of one another in that
way until a fateful airport pickup.
“She takes me to dinner as a thank you for the ride. I am sharing my latest adventures at the
bar with this girl — very common for the both of us to talk about our dating lives. That night
she realizes my story really bothered her. She was jealous. It was only a few days before she
kissed my clueless ass.
“Still together over two decades later. We’ve had our ups and downs, but that basis of
friendship has been the foundation throughout it all. Two outsiders who will always have pizza
and movies.”
2) DarkField_SJ wrote:
“I met the guy at work — we don’t work in the same company, but two different companies in
the same building that share a common breakroom. He’s also a good friend of my roommate,
who’s one of his direct coworkers.
“We hit off a phenomenal, purely platonic friendship on lunchbreaks due to a lot of common
interests. I always sought out his table so that I could have my daily dose of ‘quirk.’
“After a few months of this, we actually both started crushing on each other pretty hard. For
my part, I was too insecure to take the extra step and ask him out.
“For his part — he knows that my roommate is a gay woman, and because I live with her, he
assumed that I was her girlfriend, therefore out of reach for him.
“This changed one Friday night after work when I joined his work team at a social event. (My
roommate and I carpool, so she was my ride home.) That night her actual girlfriend showed
up! That’s when my dude learned that I was straight, and single. We were dating officially by
Sunday. We’re getting married next summer!”
3) BurtTurglar wrote, “I call mine from ‘friend zone’ to ‘end zone.’ Met my wife when we
were in 5th grade. Dated in 6th, broke-up and became best friends all thru school. After college
she came home for a mutual friend’s wedding. We danced and laughed and at the end of the
night I kissed her. We’ve been married now 13 years, we have four beautiful daughters, and
she’s still my best friend.”
4) MasterChildhood437 wrote:
“She was in her ‘I’m a vampire!’ phase during our senior year of high school and I figured
maybe letting her drink my blood would get me laid.

“It did.”28
29. “When Did You Realize Someone In Your Life Wasn’t The Person You Thought They
Were, Either In A Good Or Bad Way?”
1) thorpiepie88 wrote:
“There’s a bloke in his 50’s at work who’s very much the class clown. Very good for morale,
but he can come across as a little childish at times.
“One of the first shifts back after my dad died, he sat down with me for our whole lunch break
and very respectfully asked questions about who my dad was as a person and the life that he
had as well as speaking about his own struggles when his mum died. For weeks afterwards
he’d sneak a little shoulder pat or say some words of encouragement to help me while I was
struggling.
“I realised he acts how he does normally because he genuinely cares about the people around
them and he wants to lift their spirits when he can.
“Some of the younger lads and I go fishing with him now and he barely fishes. He’d much
rather pass on any knowledge he has to the inexperienced guys, talk absolute nonsense, and
cook up a big feast to make sure we are all well fed.”
2) ibiiacmbyww wrote:
“He was the hardest partying dude I knew. We’d known each other for years, and been flirty
for most of that. We’d make out when drunk and then go and pursue other people. I heard that
he wanted more, but life got in the way, for years, mostly in the form of a newfound partner
who entered my life.
At the time I was relieved, as I didn’t want anything more from him. Frankly, I never really
took him seriously.
“Then I got dumped, out of nowhere.
“He popped up and made sure I was OK. He listened to me rant and paint the air blue cussing
out my now-ex, whenever I needed it, for weeks. He was so caring, and concerned, and
unhorny, it shocked me.
“A few months passed, and I got back on my feet. He approached me at a party and asked me
out. No flirting, he just properly asked me out. I still didn’t want more from him, but I said yes
because saying no would have crushed him. I figured the date would be a crash-landing, a
realisation that the woman he’d been chasing, on and off, for five years, was just a basic bitch.
“We went on that date, and for the first time ever we actually talked, properly, without alcohol
impeding us and without trying to ‘keep it light’ or ‘be fun’ (I mean, beyond wanting to be fun
in the context of our dinner date).
“That’s when I found out about his past. I will spare you the gory details, but he survived a car
crash that killed half his family when he was a child. It left him with mild brain damage that
made him a bit ‘dotty,’ and made his dyslexia worse. He was told, every day of his childhood,
that he was too stupid to amount to anything.
“A fact he bookended by mentioning that for twenty years he worked dead-end jobs, ate like a
pauper, drank nothing but bottom-shelf swill, and dressed almost in rags, all so he could save
up to go to college; his first semester was due to start in a few weeks, but he was too
embarrassed to talk about going to college at nearly 40.
“By the end of our date. I saw him in a different light. I saw a man who had turned the
dismissiveness that an ignorant world, including me, had heaped on him, into something
beautiful. He refused to become bitter, or hateful. I don’t understand how or why; it’s a miracle
all on its own. I saw a man who wasn’t ‘stupid,’ but a man who had been let down by the
education system and hadn’t been able to enjoy the same benefits from academia that billions
of people take for granted. I saw a man who, under the exterior of cheap booze and hand-rolled
cigarettes, just wanted to prove himself to the world, despite staggering odds.
“By the end of our second date, which I acquiesced to the instant he proposed it, I knew I had
found a Good Person. Again he surprised me, this time with his creative mind; we invented
identities for and roleplayed as aliens from the planet Gliese 6, just a goof that we took as far
as we could, and he kept up with me at every beat, something I wouldn’t have thought him
capable of in a million years, just a month prior. I already knew he was a nerd of similar
caliber to me, but we spent that night swapping in-depth likes and dislikes, and, to my delight,
he ticked every box for me, and vice versa. (Except Gordon Ramsey, sorry, not my thing!)
“By the end of the third date, I realised he was the calmest, most considerate, most thoughtful
person I’d ever met. I’d spent most of the preceding two decades looking after people, from
partners to terminally ill family members, and for the first time in as long as I could remember,
he made me feel safe, and looked after.
“By the end of the fourth date, I had fallen in love with him like a moon-eyed teenager. If
someone could bottle the feeling I had when I fell asleep on his chest, his fingers in my hair,
they’d make trillions. He made me feel invincible.
“We said those three little words on our sixth date. I said it first; I couldn’t help myself. Two
months earlier he was just the slightly weird guy who was at every party, to me.
“At time of writing we’ve been together for a year, he’s on track for a GPA of 3.7, and I have
never known love like it. I literally have no complaints. I am proud of him, I am proud to be
with him, and I am excited to take on the future with him by my side. For his part, he loves me
just as much as I love him and seems to be in genuine awe of me as a person; I have no idea
why, but I’m not questioning it!
“EDIT: I made some tweaks to the text. No, our relationship is not centered around alcohol. I
just knew him mostly from parties and nights out. Yes, I buy him decent beer now; he still gets
excited when I find something new, and it’s fucking adorable.”
2) jodikarlyn wrote, “My bully ended up being my maid of honour. It’s about 15 years of
elapsed time that led from one to the other, but one day in high school she sat down next to me,
needing to get something out of her system, and told me about her life. I’ll chat with any
person, particularly if that person intrigues me, which she did. What she told me was really,
truly shit and made me view her in an entirely different light. It was a lesson in the judgements
I made in my early teens on the basis of rumours and peer pressure. She became my friend, my
parents became like surrogate parents to her, and over time she became a sister to me. I adore
her.”
3) kelp1616 wrote:
“My best guy friend. My house burned down and I was so overwhelmed I tried to call him. I
texted him to tell him what happened and he just replied, ‘That sucks.’
“Time passes and I ask him if everything is OK between us because he’s been so distant, which
is unlike him. The very first thing he ever said was, ‘You having a heart to heart with me
makes me never want to talk to you again.’
“That one killed me the most. I haven’t heard from him since. Makes me cry.
“Worse part is, I still see him all the time because we work in the same industry and float in the
same social circle. He approached me again one day and after I told him he hurt me, he said he
had nothing to feel sorry for. I’ve since dropped him. During that conversation, I had told him
he’d always be my friend, and I guess it’s when I found out I was always nothing to him, at
least on a deeper level. He’s found a new best friend now in one of our mutuals. I don’t
acknowledge him at all anymore, but I try my hardest not to cry every time I see him. I miss
him a lot and he still doesn’t see that. We’d been through a lot together, and it all just floated
away in less than a day with literally zero answers or closure. It’s like he woke up and decides
everything would be different.”
4) mountain_wave wrote, “When his wife messaged me and told me that they were NOT
divorced.”
5) PenguinsReallyDoFly wrote:
“My husband is an engineer. He sees the world in a very black and white way, and he is
extremely matter-of-fact and truth driven. He doesn’t say anything not worth saying.
“But when we first got together, we’d lain down to go to bed and we both put our arms under
our pillows and bumped elbows accidentally. He immediately responded with ‘What’s an
elbow like you doing under a pillow like this?’ And for this straight-faced human to be so
quick to joke, I definitely knew I was in for a real treat to see him be silly for the rest of our
lives.”29
30. “What’s The Worst Gift You’ve Ever Received?”
1) SaddleUpCowboyesm wrote:
“The whole family were together, and my uncles had planned to give their kids their presents
that day, with one of them dressed as Santa. Since they hadn’t told my parents, they hadn’t
brought any of my gifts there, and Santa gave all my cousins very nice gifts, but I just got a
very ugly and weird plushy they had bought last second.
“I started crying thinking Santa didn’t love me at all because I was the only one with an ugly
and weird gift.
“When we got home later that day, my mom got out of the car first while I stayed with my dad
while he parked, and she left one of my gifts on the table, so when I got home I saw it and I
thought Santa loved me again. Lol.”
2) blushpepitee wrote:
“A rubber Hulk Hogan figurine (it looked like it was a Christmas ornament with the loop
snipped off) glued to a very effeminate toy horse. An elderly friend of the family gave it to me
and wouldn’t stop mentioning how ‘they are supposed to look like that; that’s how it came
from the store’ even though I didn’t voice any doubts.
“It’s also kind of the best gift I ever got.”
3) Jesus-H-Chrystler wrote, “On my 13th birthday in front of all the neighborhood kids and my
school friends, my mother gifted me Slim Fast. I was mortified. I wasn’t even that fat, just a
little chubby in my awkward era.”30
31. “What’s The Darkest Secret You Have Kept From Your Partner?”
1) usmcrailroading wrote:
“My (28m) stay-at-home wife (28f) thinks I make 80k a year….
“I made 170k this year, just at work. I have $2000 from every paycheck, so 4k a month, going
to a hidden high yields saving account at 4.5% apy [annual percentage yield]. So she thinks I
make about $2700 a pay check.
“I also have an additional $4900 in military disability that is untaxed that goes to the same
account. So $8900 untouched every month for the past 5 years… I have over $500k in this
secret account.
“We still rent a 2-bedroom apartment… and have a 4-year plan to buy a house. Our budget is
400k in those 4 years… what she doesn’t know is a bought 30 acres 3 years ago in cash. And
in 5 years I’m going to have her build her dream house with custom plans to build on the land
with a budget of $1.5 million budget and pay cash for it.”
2) Otherwise_Ad233 wrote:
“I’m female and asked my male coworker for a hug. He’s twice my age, so to me it was a dad-
hug (my own dad’s dead), but my husband would consider it cheating.
“I had asked my husband for a hug the same day and he had refused because he wanted me to
pull myself together first.
“My coworker saw I was a mess and agreed to hug without hesitation.”
3) sacris5 wrote, “She moved from her hometown to be with me. Her best friend from that
hometown was in treatment for cancer. She would go visit him periodically. I was good friends
with him too. She had not visited him in quite a while (maybe a year) and couldn’t make it
back for Christmas. She sent him a long letter and Christmas card, but messed up the address.
He passed away suddenly, and the card ended up being returned to our home. I saw the
returned letter in the mail and realized what happened. I threw it away and told her that she
could have some solace in that he knew she was thinking about him before he passed. I will
never tell her the truth.”31
32. “What Are Some Of The Politest Ways To Ask Your One-Night Stand To Leave?”
Crow_eggs wrote, “When I was at university I had a one-night stand with a music student in
his tiny, cupboard-sized room in halls of residence. Space for a single bed, a desk, a clothes
rail, and room for one person to walk in a straight line to those things. We left the club for his
at 3am, enjoyed his single bed together, and then he woke me up at 6am by playing the tuba.
He apologised, said he had to practice, then continued to play as I very hastily left. So that’s an
option.”32
33. “What Is A Good Way To Introduce Yourself To Your Sister’s Date?”
A man named Brett dated a woman named Hollis who lived with Ross, her brother. Brett went
to their house one day for dinner and a movie at home with Ross’ sister. Ross was not present,
but he left this note marked “BRETT […] READ ME taped underneath the toilet seat so Brett
would find it when he needed to pee: “Hello Brett! Hollis mentioned that you would be over to
have dinner/watch a movie while I am out of town on business. I thought to myself ‘what a
shame that I won’t be there to introduce myself and get to know him’! So I figured I would
write this letter by way of introduction while you are there alone with my little sister. A little
about me … where should I begin? Hmmm… Well, I studied Shaolin Kung Fu for almost 15
years. Over that time I learned many different ways to kill a man (some of which include, but
are not limited to, moves like Suddenly See Heaven, Last Breath of Kwan Kung, Golden Eagle
Tears the Throat, and Black Tiger Yanks the Heart). Anyway, enough about me! I’m sure you
want to get back to your PG-rated date with my sister who I love very much. All the best,
Ross.” Redditors wondered why the note in the photo Brett posted on Imgur was not creased,
but Brett explained that Ross had posted a photograph of the note on Facebook. By the way, on
Reddit, Brett wrote that the letter was “a joke but the Kung Fu thing is true.”33
34. “As A Married Woman On Reddit, What’s The Best Advice You’d Like To Share
With Unmarried Girls?”
1) Scotchette, “Don’t spend too much on the wedding.”
Sodds commented, “Adding to that, it’s your wedding, not your moms, MIL’s, sister’s, aunt
Karen’s…. Make it the best for you two. If they have opinions, they can get married the way
they want (again, if necessary).”
2) BonzaSonza wrote:
“Marriage is hard work. It’s wonderful and rewarding, but it’s not about a wedding day, it’s
about the rest of your life. Choose someone who is going to make your life easier and happier.
“Never take your partner for granted. Show appreciation for each other. Be grateful.
“Learn how to argue in a healthy way. Stay polite, even when angry. Being emotional or angry
is OK, being vindictive or mean is not. It’s hurtful and damaging. Don’t let resentment build
up, and don’t ever let contempt or bitterness into the marriage.
“Communication, communication, communication. Talk about everything. Don’t hint, or
expect your partner to know what you’re thinking or why you’re mad. Talk about your day,
listen to your partner’s. Let them vent to you, or babble excitedly about their newest hobby.
Talk about your needs in the bedroom, what food you want to eat, what your shared financial
goals are, how you choose to parent. And keep talking. Your needs will grow and change over
time, as you will.
“PS - Kids won’t solve relationship problems.”
3) Holiday-Gas-8042 wrote, “The hardest part of marriage is deciding what to have for dinner
every night for the rest of your life. I’m not even kidding. It’s exhausting.”
trashscal408 wrote, “Good marriage advice I once got: When discussing what’s for dinner,
always give a suggestion, even if basic. Never say, ‘Whatever, I don’t care.’ Your partner is
asking to be unburdened of the choice, so help them out.”
4) Dobbys_Other_Sock wrote, “Love does not equal a relationship. You can love someone but
acknowledge that they are not a good relationship partner, but it doesn’t mean you love them
any less. Instead, look for someone that you love, but also shares the things that are important
to you in a relationship and that you can live with mostly drama free.”
5) Asleep-Individual-96 wrote:
“Marry someone because you love who they are now, not for the potential you see in them.
Almost all the unhappy women I know truly believed their person would change for them …
it’s very hard to change who you are when you want to, let alone change for someone else for
reasons that you may not even be evolved enough to understand.
“Pay attention to the red flags and understand that unless your partner can switch them up to
green on the first or second request, it’s only going to get worse. When they show you who
they are, believe them.”
No-Calligrapher-3630 wrote, “Yep, I know somebody who refuses to break up with their
partner because they are worried they will turn into the person they’ve always wanted them to
be after the breakup. It’s been 10 years. They haven’t turned into this person with them.”
6) ihatecheese90 wrote:
“Wait until you’re 25+ before you make any life-lasting decisions.
“Relationships with very high highs and very low lows are 99% of the time toxic.
“Your partner should be your best friend, your #1 cheerleader and vice versa. Your partner
should feel like home.
“The right partner will feel make you feel safe and will never have you worried about them
going outside of their marriage.
“This might be controversial, but IMO marriage shouldn’t be extremely hard with the right
person. Yes you’ll have disagreements, yes you’ll have times where you’re misaligned on
certain topics, but if you have a healthy dynamic and healthy communication style, this will
always be resolved.”
7) olsweetmoney wrote, “You’re also marrying their family. If the family doesn’t like you, for
whatever reason, they may never like you. They may try to drive you apart, poison him against
you, or be straight-up mean to you. If he isn’t going to take your side or try to be diplomatic
(actually hear the problem and be direct with his family), then don’t think they’re going to
change.”
8) NoSaboNurse wrote, “If you’re thinking of getting married now, whatever bad habits he has
or whatever he already doesn’t do (dishes, laundry, etc.) he will just continue to not do and will
not change. Think about if that’s something you can put up with the rest of your life.”
9) CrabbiestAsp wrote:
“Don’t let people treat you like shit just because you love them. You might love them, but if
they truly loved you they wouldn’t treat you like shit, and you deserve better than that.
“Don’t get engaged, married or pregnant, hoping it will force your partner into changing their
behaviour or habits.”
10) 69DivineTemptation69 wrote, “Don’t rush into marriage just because you feel pressured by
society, family, or friends. Take your time to truly know yourself and your partner. A healthy
relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication—not just love. Also, don’t
lose your individuality in a relationship; it’s important to maintain your own hobbies,
friendships, and goals.”
11) Logical-Mouse1368 wrote, “Do not ever marry a man for his looks.”
Gold-Acanthisitta545 commented, “I found me a low-key grubby-looking one. He eats
anything I make and the sex is unreal! He’s also on the shorter side, but honey, he loves me as
is. And for that I am extremely grateful.”
12) LuCuriously wrote:
“RED FLAGS GET WORSE AFTER MARRIAGE.
“It’s easier to break up than divorce. Especially after kids. Also, some men might get into
therapy and change small habits, but these movies that depict men having life-changing
circumstances and suddenly becoming the hero? I’m convinced these movies were made to
keep women hopeful and married.”

13) TheTwinSet02 wrote, “Always have your own bank account.”34

35. “Who in Your Life Are You The Most Jealous Of And Why?”
1) AncientAlligator wrote, “My dog. Bro always sleeping like he just worked a 16-hour shift.”
2) SaltyDarkness wrote:
“My grandparents. They worked hard, became financial stable and comfortable, created a
beautiful family, and stuck with each other for 50+ years and now just get to enjoy it together.
That’s my dream.”
3) sadcapri07 wrote:
“Skinny women. Anytime I’ve gone out to the bars as a plus-sized woman with a thin friend
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. a man will approach her and flirt with her/dance with her and I am
just sitting there watching and listening to them converse. It happens every time without fail. It
made me stop drinking/going out because I feel terrible about myself.
“‘Just be more confident!’ Blah blah nonsense. I am. But I am constantly overlooked. Or if I’m
on a dating app, I’ll swipe with guys who have no intention of dating me/sleeping with me
— they just want me to give them oral. I had this guy tell me, ‘You’re not by type to be
fucking on,’ yet wanted me to give him a BJ. Or when I do sleep with men, it’s about them,
never about me. But my skinny friends have no issues. Sigh.”
4) biodegradableotters wrote, “I have this one friend who’s just like a super person. Like I
don’t know how she’s able to live the life she does with the same 24-hour days that I have.
Always perfect grades throughout school and university (she has a PhD in biochemistry now),
has an impressive job (cancer research), volunteers a lot, exercises a lot, is super fun and chill
and always down for anything. Like I know many people who are super smart OR super sporty
OR super social, but she is just everything.”
5) bringmebackasong wrote, “An old friend of mine married into an extremely wealthy family.
They’re now raising three beautiful children, they travel all over the world, they use their
money to do good things for others, and from what I can tell, they’re blissfully happy in their
marriage. The stuff of fairytales, y’know?”
6) reasonable_vegetable wrote, “Tall women. I think they’re just so stunning and clothes are
made for them. I also notice a fair number of tall guys going after tall women (makes sense).”
7) WonderReal wrote:
“My cats. Like my girls just sleep anywhere comfy they find.

“Please share some of that carelessness.”35

36. “How Often Are You Going On Dates And/Or Talking To Someone?”
Genuine question for women, how often are you going on dates? Or talking to someone? And
how old are you?
Edit: for single women, sorry!
1) IMAGINARY-BAG5385 WROTE:
“I’m 29. Dates: almost never. Talking to someone: more often. I don’t like dates because the
entire thing makes me uncomfortable due to its ‘unnatural’ nature. I LOVE meeting people in
real life, while getting to know them as we coexist. Dating apps makes me overlook the people
I actually want because men SUCK at presenting themselves in a way that resembles the truth.
I’m currently crushing mega hard on a bald, nerdy man at work who’s shorter than me. I’d
never swipe right if I saw the profile pic he uses on social media on tinder. But after getting to
know him over a year, he’s all I want. It’s his personality that makes everything about him
attractive, and I needed a year, so this dating thing does NOT work for me. Hopefully, my
adventures will lead to something more someday.
“Edit: I need to clarify that I think no one can present themselves properly in a way that gives
me the real impression of them, with just a few photos and lines of text. The same goes for
dates. Men’s pictures is one issue for swiping only, but you get the deal here. Swiping makes
me the shallow person I’m not willing to be. And I feel dating is just the offline version.”
2) Odd-Opening-3158 wrote:
“Barely. I generally don’t date because I don’t meet any single men at all. And if I did, they’re
usually younger. If they’re around my age, they’re not interested. 40s.
“The last guy who asked me out was in August or somewhere thereabouts. He was upfront that
he wanted sex only. So I haven’t responded to his messages because I don’t want to feel
obligated to have sex if he takes me out. I did really enjoy going out, but unfortunately the
feeling isn’t mutual.
“It’s just damn hard to meet anyone and even if I do, they just want sex and not dates. I’m in
my 40s, so I don’t bother looking at men anymore coz no one is ever interested if they’re
single and nice.”
3) schwarzlelerin wrote, “Never have for the past, hmmm, 5 years? Life is so much more quiet,
no drama, no weird situations, no frustration, no anger, without that thing in my life. Oh and no
UTI, no pregnancy scares, no fungal infections … Who really needs that!”
4) Delicious-Painter945 wrote, “Never! I’ve been widowed for 3 years now. I’m an African-
American woman over 50. No wrinkles, in good shape, and good looking I guess the men my
age want women in their 20’s and 30’s. And I’m sure most of them can barely still get it up,
I’ve had more younger men ask me out but I declined. I’m scared one of them might know one
of my kids.”
5) derpsnotdead wrote, “24, and literally never.”
6) bikinifetish wrote, “I’m 39 and currently, it’s never.”
7) AshenSkylar wrote, “I’m in my mid 20’s and I talk to my girlfriend who I’ve been with
since I was 19 every single day. Dates are a little rare because we have three kids, but I like
being a mom and it’s a fair trade off that we don’t go out more.”
8) Forestnymph777 wrote, “Hey, 21F here! I’m in a pretty good place in life right now, and I
have been going on dates often recently. I’m moving soon so I really am just enjoying the vibe,
and letting everyone I meet know where I’m at in life. I’ve been single for a while, so it’s been
nice meeting people. I’m also ‘talking’ to one guy. I consider him my ‘lover’ in a very classic
old-school way. He’s my exclusive partner, which is nice for both him and me.”36
37. “What’s A NSFW Tip You Know?”
1) darkrainbow7154 wrote, “Guys, wash your DICK, BALLS, AND ASSHOLE. If we are
down there, we can smell EVERYTHING.”
2) DubiousAdvice25 wrote, “If you’re a man and you’re overweight or obese, losing weight
will make your penis look a lot bigger. It’s attached to the wall of your abdomen, so if you’ve
got layers of fat it just buries your penis.”
3) Armyman2001 wrote, “If you are eating her out and you get a weird hair on your tongue,
just lick the inside of her leg and it will stick there.”
4) Ok-disaster2022 wrote, “If you take 10 minutes to poop at work every day, that’s the
equivalent of a 40-hour paid vacation a year. (Fifty minutes a week 50 weeks a year is 2500
minutes. 40 hours is 2400 minutes.) It really puts into context the economic cost of, say,
smoking.”
5) Flatmonkey wrote, “Make your partner feel good about their body. My now-wife was too
insecure about her freckles, her shortness, and whatever some asshole made her feel bad about
with her vagina. I spent a long time making her feel good about these things again. Note: I
honestly love all of these things, and she has so much body confidence now. Back to my
original point: If you convince your partner that you honestly love their body, you will have
the best sex of your life no matter who they are.”
6) Eevancia wrote:
“To Men:
“WE LIKE IT WHEN YOU MOAN AND MAKE NOISES DURING SEX. PLEASE
FUCKING MOAN. DON’T HOLD IT BACK.
“Editing this comment because of some of the replies in this thread. This is for men who want
to moan, talk dirty, and make noise, but feel like they CAN’T for some reason — to THOSE
men, please do. If all you have to add to this is ‘I just don’t moan. I don’t need to,’ then this
post isn’t aimed at or for you.”
7) ringo5150 wrote:
“When your 10-year-old daughter is going on her first school camp, and she is taking your case
because it is the right size for the trip plus it has wheels on it, check the pockets first.
“This is important or else the little draw string bag of condoms and lube that is stashed in that
pocket that you had forgotten packing on the last holiday because you wanted to be prepared
for ‘special cuddles’ with your wife will go to camp with your daughter and cause quite a stir
when it is discovered.”37
38. “When Did You Notice Something About Someone After Years Of Knowing Them?”
1) EcstaticNursing wrote, “My dad always left the last piece of food for me. Took me 23 years
to realize he wasn’t ‘just not hungry.’”
2) realhorrorsh0w wrote:
“I’ve known my dad since I was born and realized last year that he doesn’t wear a wedding
ring.
“Before you say anything, he’s not messing around on my mom. He’s always at home or work.
The reason is just that he has gigantic hands and thinks the ring would be inconvenient in his
work as a welder.”
dogdagny commented, “Most tradesmen don’t wear their wedding rings. It can be dangerous.
But over the last couple of years guys have started wearing those rubber/silicone rings.”
3) JasmineLaMore wrote, “After eight years of friendship with my best friend, I found out that
it really annoys her when people slurp. All these years, she put up with my slurping and never
said anything because she loves me and didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”38
39. “What’s The Most Meaningful Expression Of Love You’ve Ever Seen Or
Experienced?”
1) WriterOpen5785 wrote, “A few years ago, my cousin was in a car accident, and her parents
didn’t leave her side for weeks, not even to take care of themselves. They slept in
uncomfortable hospital chairs, holding her hand, always making sure she was okay. The
sacrifice of their time and energy for her was such a raw, real example of love in action.”
2) WorkingRecording4863 wrote:
“My grandmother leaving me an inheritance. It wasn’t a ton, but it was enough to help me
move to a new state, paid for my last year of college that wasn’t covered by my loans, and had
enough left over to buy a nice used car to get to my new job after graduation.
“It was the catalyst for my current career, and I wouldn’t be where I am in life without her. I
will forever be thankful. I wish I could show her how much it helped me and tell her one last
time how much I love and miss her.”
3) ShashBliss wrote, “My grandpa used to wake up extra early every day to make breakfast for
my grandma because she loved starting her day with a good meal but hated cooking. Even
when he was tired or not feeling well, he never missed a day. It wasn’t about grand gestures for
them; it was those little daily acts of kindness that showed their deep care for each other.”
4) SweettGoddess wrote, “I had a 35-days coma, and after I got home my dog was by my side
all day hugging me and trying to play with me. Sometimes he even shed tears, and that was the
most unconditional love I have ever seen.”
5) GraciesMomGoingOn83 wrote, “I lost both of my parents last year. My aunt (who hadn’t
been married to my uncle, my mom’s brother, in over 30 years) met me at the door of my
parents’ home and stayed with me so I wouldn’t have to be alone. That’s love in action right
there.”
6) cartercharles wrote, “My mom spent an entire summer tutoring a girl to pass the ASVAB
[Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery] just so she could escape her situation. She
passed, did a tour in the Army, and is married now.”
7) Resistant-Insomnia wrote:
“My teenager suddenly said this to me: Someone asked me today what I would change about
my mom and I couldn’t think of anything, you’re just perfect, you’re the best mom I can think
of!
“I just started crying and hugged her, I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I
also know teenagers/kids don’t just say that. It’s the purest moment of love and recognition
I’ve ever received. I don’t deserve her.”
8) PatrickMorris wrote, “My formerly two-year-old woke me up in the middle of the night
hovering over my face. He said, ‘Daddy, I feel…,’ and as soon as my eyes opened I opened my
mouth to say ‘what?’ and he vomited directly into my opened eyes, nose, opened mouth, and
said ‘sick’ and then started crying. I cleaned him up first; if that’s not love I don’t know what
is.”
9) ManderBlues wrote, “When my dad died, a high school friend I’d had no contact with for
30 years, came to the funeral. She said she knew I’d be devastated and wanted to show
support. This is not a small town where people stay. She read about it in the paper and drove 2
hours each way to attend.”
10) Dangerous-Bit-2081 wrote, “My dad taking full-time care of my grandma as she had
Alzheimer’s. He gave 10 years of his life to making sure she didn’t feel alone, and never once
expressed frustration. No one has shown me the meaning of selflessness or patience more. He’s
the best guy I know.”39
40. What’s A NSFW Confession You’ve Been Dying To Share Anonymously?
1) Rarefindofthemind:
“My first job at 18 was as a phone sex operator.
“This was in the late 90’s. I had a headset and everything. It was all done by phone; online chat
hadn’t become an industry widely used platform yet. We had male employees too. They kept
track of our average call times. I usually made the top of the list. A life achievement I proudly
carry with me to this day.
“Lot of weird stories from that time.
“Also, if you’ve ever gotten a tarot reading from a hotline psychic, good chance you’re
speaking to a phone sex operator who got promoted to what we called ‘the other side,’ which
was literally the other side of the call centre.”
2) ArcoFlameRedGRSR wrote, “I write smut. I’m a corporate suit type by day, porn fiction
writer by night. A commenter said, ‘Your fics get me off every single time’ — one of the
proudest moments of my life, and I couldn’t even post about it on my regular social media.”
3) Key_Spor420 wrote, “I ate a donut off a guy’s dick twice.”
4) AzrecGold23 wrote:
“One time in my (I’m a man, by the way) 20’s, I was at a sex party having a great time. I got
very thirsty after some time in one of the rooms and left fully naked walking across the house
towards the kitchen. I made it about 5 feet away from the fridge and water before a woman
stopped me and started giving me head. Which was all well and good but more than anything, I
was really thirsty. At this point a crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle. So now there was
a human wall and some dude I don’t know locked eyes with me and was like ‘hell yeah,
brother,’ and I asked him to get me a glass of water. So while this girl was putting a show on
using my appendage, this little dude ran off and brought me water and I chugged it while
getting head. Twice before she was done.
“I’ll never forget his face of glee; he was like the pit crew to a Nascar racer. He was all about
helping the team succeed.”
5) NeedsItRough wrote:
“I made a fetish video for a guy I know a couple years ago.
“He said he’s watched it to get off dozens of times, but when he does cum he stops the video
“He says he’s still never gotten to the end of it, and it’s less than 10 minutes long.
“Edit: Sorry, I wasn’t really expecting this comment to be seen; the fetish was stuck porn, and
it was extra authentic because it’s also one of my fetishes.”
6) Im_invading_Mars wrote, “My first boyfriend I had sex with drew a very detailed,
extravagantly done nude pic of me and posted it on the internet. It gained a LOT of attention.
He didn’t tell me this for many years, and I’ve no idea where it is or what it could be under. I
wish that I could find it. I was very sexy back then, lol.”40
 Chapter 3: Questions 41-60
41. “Guys, If You Had A Daughter, What Would You Warn Her About When Starting To
Date?”
1) glittermeatball wrote, Not a warning as much as a statement: I will come get you if you feel
unsafe at all, no questions asked. All you have to do is call me.”
tom8osauce wrote, “I had a high school teacher who gave his phone number to every class he
taught. He told them if they were ever in a situation where they needed a ride or an adult, and
couldn’t get a hold of their parents, or their parents were not safe people, to call him. And
students did call, and he would show up. He sadly passed away when I was in grade 10, but he
was one of the best people out on this earth.”
2) Due_Key_5262 wrote, “It’s okay to have boundaries and say no. Someone worth your time
will respect that.”
3) dtank wrote, “You can owe someone time. You can owe someone money. But you never,
EVER, owe someone your body.”
4) Misaiato wrote:
“I do have a daughter, and she is almost that age.
“I wanted a daughter more than anything. I prepared for this. I thought about this (among all
the other milestones) for a long time.
“She knows that people must respect her boundaries. She knows that it’s ok to have feelings,
and it’s ok for those feelings to change. She knows that it’s up to her to make choices, and I’m
here to offer advice (if consulted) and support (without question).
“Above all else, though, I taught her how to play the electric guitar. Because I’ll be damned if
some punk teenage boy knows four chords and tries to put the moves on her at a party with
some pathetic Ed Sheeran karaoke bullshit. I taught my girl to rip that guitar away from him
and embarrass the shit out of him in front of everyone by shredding a solo.
“If she’s gonna fall for the ‘kid with the guitar,’ he better be the next Eddie Van Halen.”
5) Remarkable_Name7272 wrote:
“It’s not a race to lose your virginity. All of my girl friends were having sex, and I felt like the
odd one out. I wish I had waited longer, not necessarily because of love, but because of
experience. Teenage sex is fast, messy, and just not good, and I cringe so hard when I think
back on it. Plus teenage boys love trying to take the condom off. They don’t care about the
consequences.
“Also, if a boyfriend keeps pressuring and she’s not ready, she needs to dump him. If he really
cares about her and her well-being, he will understand that waiting is worth the while. I still
have some trauma associated with sex, and I’m married and in my 30’s. It sucks.”
6) PhilMeUpBaby wrote:
“The biggest decision that any of us ever make in our lives is *who* we have a child with.
“It’s the one thing that can’t be undone.
“You can get married … you can get divorced.
“You can buy a house (i.e. mortgage)… you can sell the house.
“But, you can’t undo the parent of your child.

“You are locked into that person for life.”41

42. “What Was The Worst Thing A Kid Ever Did At Your School?”
fuckandfrolic wrote:
“I’ve posted this before but what the hell … sophomore year of high school my shy/bookish
cousin started dating this really popular guy.
“A few months in, she heard a few guys in his circle were spreading rumors he was only with
her because she ‘did whatever he wanted whenever he wanted.’ Which was ironic because they
hadn’t ‘done’ much of anything at all yet.
“She was really hurt. She has never done anything to these guys, she didn’t get why they
would be trying to smear her reputation. I told her HE should be the one dealing with it since
they were his friends. She said she didn’t want to bring it up because she felt like there was a
distinct possibility HE had started the rumor in the first place.
“Anyway, it turns out he DIDN’T start the rumor. And he made his friends STFU by
threatening them.
“He threatened to beat one of them up. Told the second one if he ruined this relationship, he
would fuck his gf (who used to be HIS gf). And he threatened to out the third one. That last
one I found out about only after high school, when he finally emerged from the closet.
“Not the most ethical means, but it did the trick and he and my cousin are still together.
Probably the most devoted couple I know.”42
43. “What Was The Moment When You Realised You Found Your Person?”
1) dmgb wrote:
“We were watching a really cheesy movie and were on a scene where the characters had to
escape a flooding subway tunnel by swimming to an escape vent. I always hold my breath
when actors do in movies, kind of as a mini-contest to see if I can hold mine longer. It’s dumb
and stupid, and I almost said something to him about it, but didn’t want him to think I was
THAT weird.
“Not two second later he grabs my hand, gets in my face and says, ‘Ok, get ready! We have to
try to hold our breath longer than they do!’
“I died.”
2) WtrestlingWoman wrote:
“When we first started dating, I introduced him to wrestling. I told him about my childhood
favorite that I unfortunately couldn’t remember the name of.
“This lovely man went home and googled his ass off out from the little information I had given
him. I didn’t ask him to do this. I had no idea he was doing this. Next weekend when he came
to visit me again, he handed me a picture of my childhood favorite and said: ‘His name was
Hercules.’
“That was the moment I knew he was the one.”
3) marriedtomayonnaise wrote:
“I was feeling so unhinged. Very moody, very irritated, I was being so irrational and instead of
lashing out, I wanted to practice good communication, so I just told my partner that I needed a
minute because I’m feeling things I don’t understand and I’m overwhelmed because I could
not clean my spectacles well enough to see. We were running late to head out for a thing and I
thought this would piss him off, but he just said, ‘Awww, my baby, come here,’ and gave me
the biggest bear hug, cleaned my glasses, and just fixed my mood instantly.
“That small incident really changed things for me. He just calms my heart down. And I can’t
wait to marry him. As soon as possible.”
4) According-Willow-505 wrote, “When I broke my wrist. We were at the ortho, and after she
told me I couldn’t use it at all I told him I have to cut all my hair off. It’s down to my butt; I
couldn’t take care of it now. He just smiled at me and said, “I can wash your hair.” He has
shoulder-length hair, but I never thought of him taking care of mine. It’s been three months
today and he’s learned to put it up in a clip, bun, ponytail; he puts it in the towel after a shower.
He’s helped me shave and bathe myself, helps me take my cast on and off to shower. Over the
holidays, he helped me prepare my plates at dinner and carry it over to where I wanted to sit.
He has done all of this without complaining and irritation. I have gotten so upset over my wrist
at times. It’s my first broken bone, I’ve been so irrational, and he just helps calm me down and
reassures me it will heal and I’ll be okay. I’ve never known this kind of support or love. I’m so
thankful for him. He is my greatest blessing.”43
44) “What Are Your Green Flags When It Comes To Dating?”
1) dreamyvelvet_ wrote:
“Early in our dating days, I was on a train with my now-husband. The inspector was checking
our tickets while we were about to pull away from the station when my husband spotted a
woman come running down the platform. He pointed this out to the inspector, who stuck his
arm out the window and held the train until she got on.
“My husband was so casual about it, didn’t think anything of it really, and it was a small
action, but one that likely made her day better.
“I thought it said a lot about his character, that he’d help out a stranger who didn’t even know
it.
“I was right. He is still that kind of guy!”
2) laurenlo26 wrote:
“On our first official dinner date, my now-husband was like 10 minutes late because he was
helping some guy jump his car in the parking lot. I guess his car battery had the corrosion stuff
on it, so he came inside with his button-down sleeves rolled up and his hands dirty and he
apologized for being late and told me why, and went to wash off in the bathroom real fast. I
thought he looked so cute when he came in and loved how helpful he was to someone having a
bad day. The guy whose car he jumped came in a bit later and bought us a round of drinks, too!
“To this day he is STILL the guy who will jump a person’s car or help someone out who needs
it and is incredibly polite and thoughtful of everyone around him. He’s my green flag every
day.”
3) Friendly-Fun-9409 wrote, “Lives a boring life —this can actually be a green flag.”
4) allforvienna wrote, “My partner is the slowest to anger person I’ve ever met. We can argue,
but he’s never lost his shit and screamed at me like I’ve seen men do to my friends. He’ll be
angry and of course talking intensely, and he still barely raises his voice. No tantrums, ever.
His parents are the same, just calm people. It’s really nice, coming from a high-anger, volatile
family like I did!”44
45. “Siblings Of The Golden Child, When Did Your Parents’ Favoritism Come Back To
Bite Them? What Was The Aftermath?”
1) butwhatsmyname wrote:
“I’ve got a late-in-life-miracle-baby-only-child cousin who has had an interesting time of this.
“Wealthy family, long-awaited baby, he was given top-of-the-line consoles and computers
from the age of three, a bedroom and a playroom that was so full of toys by the time he started
preschool that his parents had to ask everyone to stop sending him toys as gifts because he was
bought a gift every single time they went anywhere. His mom was just incapable of saying no
to her little prince. Every trip to the shoe shop or the supermarket was another new toy.
“He just never had to do anything that he didn’t want to do.
“Forget about chores and homework. When he wanted to sit up all night playing WoW and
sleep through the school day because he ‘didn’t feel well,’ that was fine. His parents would
throw money at literally anything he showed any interest in. He played a snowboarding
videogame for a while, so they bought him full skiing and snowboarding gear and they all flew
out to the slopes several times … where he sat in the lodge playing videogames on his laptop.
They kitted him out with everything you could dream of for a couple of martial arts, golf, a
few musical instruments, probably a bunch of other stuff I never heard about. But he knew he
was destined to be a professional gamer, so why would he bother with anything else? Gaming
was his ticket to fame and glory.
“How did all this play out? It turns out that if you do that through most of your teens … you
fail out of school at 16, no matter how unbelievably smart your mom thinks you are.
“He’s 25 now, still at home, and to the best of my knowledge he still hasn’t completed his high
school diploma or any equivalent studies. He’s never held down a job, and hasn’t completed
any of the apprenticeships or placements that his parents have organised for him over the
years.
“His mom still does everything for him, but he’s fucking miserable. He’s distraught. He
doesn’t know anything. He isn’t good at anything. He can’t do anything. He’s got no friends —
everyone he was friendly with went off to university, got jobs, are starting to settle down with
partners, or travel the world. They’re off living their adult lives and he’s at home with his mom
making his lunch for him every day.”
2) 100percentapplejuice wrote:
“I was the golden child, but not in the way you’d expect.
“I was doted on because of my looks, and my mom would pimp me out to TV stations or
modeling agencies at a shot to becoming famous and escaping poverty in the Philippines. This
went on for YEARS of my childhood. This backfired, and I’m now a huge punk/tomboy. My
sister resented me for it, so she turned to her studies as a way to get my mom’s attention.
“And guess what? Now she’s the golden child. Good career, great husband, lots of money to
shower. I’m living an incredibly simple life, living it on my own terms, and she takes any
opportunity she can get to criticize what I do under the guise of me possibly hurting our mom.
Did I turn out fucked up? Maybe, yeah. I stay home, smoke weed, play video games, get
tattoos. But I never want to hurt anybody, ever. Funny how me reclaiming my life after years
under the microscope still bites me in the ass.”
3) bed_bound_and_sleepy wrote:
“My sibling turned into a grown-up asshole. She never does housework, will not pay rent if she
can get away with it, will not cleanup to the point where her living area looks like a hoarder
lives there — and just says they will get a maid, is entitled to other people’s things and always
feels like they’re feelings are the most valuable. She never admits to doing anything, never
apologizes, and will cry if you call her out. She has no friends because people just don’t have
time to waste on something like that. I’m almost ten years younger and she ‘mimics’ my
behavior in public, I confronted her about it, and she blamed it on undiagnosed autism and a
wide host of excuses.
“It’s exhausting for my parents, but my sibling hasn’t, and won’t, move out of my parents’
house. She can’t. She literally cannot adult correctly because my parents did everything for her
growing up. She has homework she’s not doing? My parents would do it. She needs to sign up
for college and financial aid? My parents did all of it. All of her cars were bought by my
parents. Bills overdue? Yep, my parents paid them off.
“My sibling is in her late 30s, and she is stuck at a 15-year-old mentality.”
4) StVincentBlues wrote, “My sibling is genuinely successful, a kind and brilliant man; he has
achieved every kind of success a man could. I could develop a relationship with him only after
our parents died. He has been nurtured and grown to be wonderful. He is wonderful. I love
him. He loves me. He tells me I’m better than I think I am. I doubt him. It has taken 50 years to
get here.”
Active_March2088 commented, “He clearly loves you very much. People who love us do see
how much better we are than we think we are. Though it may be hard, believe him.”45
46. How Can You Tell If You’re Considered Conventionally Unattractive?
1) IPostSwords wrote, “In my experience the world is pretty reliable about making it known to
you.”
Unumbotte commented, “The pitchforks and torches are generally a clue.”
2) Ok_Ad_9188 wrote:
“I overheard a group of women in my department at work talking when they didn’t know I was
on the other side of the door outside of the break room. They were talking about having dates
for Valentine’s Day, and I think two of them were single, and they were all talking about the
men who worked in our department and if they should ask them out. My name came up, and I
know they were talking about me because I was the only one with my name, and it was
flattering for all of 0.5 seconds before it became obvious they were using the idea of being
romantically involved with me as an insult.
“So, that.”
3) FlamingoMany4485 wrote, “No one asks if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend or why you’re
single.”
4) TheWaeg wrote:
“You’ll know.
“I was fat, unkempt, etc. for a while. Then I got my shit together, lost weight, gained muscle,
maintained my hair, etc., and it was like I was suddenly visible to people.
“Looks fucking matter. Anyone who says otherwise isn’t unattractive enough to really
understand that.”
5) Training-Way1009 wrote, “When men ask if your best friend is single, but no one ever asks
your best friend if you’re single. That pretty much sums up my entire 20s.”
6) zoltrack wrote, “People treat you better when you have a face mask on. Thanks, COVID.”
7) rainingtigers wrote, “Kids will tell you. Kids are so brutally honest if you’re around kids
they may say, ‘You’re so pretty,’ or some insult. Kids just don’t realize you’re not supposed to
say everything that pops into your head.”
8) AcidTraffic wrote:
“I’ve always heard, ‘If you’re beautiful, you’ll know it. Because people will go out of their
way to let you know.’
“So, if you don’t know, then you know. You know?”
9) Wise-Purchase-1226 wrote:
“When I was younger, I was absolutely not a catch. As I got closer to 30, suddenly a lot of
ladies—and even some guys—started finding me handsome or whatever. The biggest change I
noticed was how people seemed genuinely happier to see me. They’d light up, smile, get more
talkative. None of that happened back when I was an out-of-shape weirdo with zero fashion
sense and a $10 haircut. Lol.

“So, to answer OP’s question… you walk into a room, and nobody notices or cares.”46
47. “You Just Farted And Everyone Turns To Look At You. What Do You Say?”
1) RainbowUnicorn0228 wrote, “Did you hear what that *ssh*le just said?”
2) abpabpabpabpabp wrote, “In Germany we say if it doesn’t pay rent, it has to get out.”47
48. “What’s The Smartest Insult You’ve Ever Heard?
1) Yuval_Levi wrote, “You’re the first person I’ve met who’s achieved their full potential.”
2) ahnotme wrote, “If I ever need an opinion of no value whatsoever, you’ll be the first to
know.”
3) crumpuppet wrote, “You might not be the dumbest person alive, but you better hope that
guy doesn’t die.”
4) AMikeTysonNibble wrote, “I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”
5) darko63 wrote, “I’m jealous of people who don’t know you.”
6) homerbartbob wrote:
“It was when Dave Letterman interviewed Tina Faye.
“She’s trying to teach him about improv and they do a scene. Somewhere in the scene …
“Letterman: I’m not as dumb as I look.
“Faye (wait a beat): I mean … how COULD you be?”
7) CreatrixAnima wrote, “A guy my dad worked with was being transferred from Germany to
the US. A German coworker said, ‘Ah, nice! The average IQ of both continents will go up!’”
8) gnomepigs1976 wrote:
“Two corkers from past year, both delivered by same person.
“‘You’ve had a thought? Well you must tell us now, or it’ll get lonely in there.’
‘You’re the very model of a man. I know this to be true because I looked up the word ‘model’
in the dictionary and it said ‘‘non-working replica of the original.’”
9) maximuffi wrote, “Just when I thought my opinion of you couldn’t get any lower, you
brought the shovel.”
10) Thorebane wrote:
“There was this super-quiet kid at school who was an exchange student.
“He mispronounced something in English, in front of the class from a book readout. A bully in
the class mocked him for it. He then replied without missing a beat: ‘You mock my English
because it’s the only language you know. I try to speak English because it’s the only language
YOU know.’
“We found out not long after that he could speak 8 other languages.”
11) Nobodys_Loss wrote:
“I was in my local bar reading a book. This guy comes in and sits a few seats down from me. I
think nothing of it. About half an hour later, this couple comes in and there is obviously
tension. Turns out the woman was the ex of the gentleman sitting a few seats down from me,
and she showed up with her new boyfriend. Anyhow, the tension was high enough that after
their first drink, the woman and her new boyfriend get up to leave. As they were leaving, the
gentleman a few seats down from me calls out to them: ‘How’s that worn-out pu**y treating
you?’ Without skipping a beat, the woman just turns and yells back at him: ‘He likes it just fine
after he gets past the worn-out part’!
“I lost it. I literally spat my whiskey out of my mouth whilst taking my shot as I heard that. I
felt bad and even apologized to the guy and bought him a drink, but damn. That was spot on.”
12) jbeputnam wrote, “I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”48
49. “When Was The Most Random Time You Had A Sexual Experience When You
Weren’t Expecting One?”
1) “Working at a coffee shop. Guy that’s waaaay out of my league asks if he can share the table
to use the charger. (It was the only one available.) An hour later he asks me if I want to see his
apartment. He was like a Greek god, you guys. I had no choice.”
2) Funkandfrolic wrote:
“Back in the day, my boyfriend fucked me, up against the side of his house, while his family
ate dinner inside.
“His parents wouldn’t let us go up to his bedroom to ‘hang out,’ so he said we were going for a
walk instead. Burn off some energy.
“It was winter and it was good.
“The smirk on his face, as we walked back inside, is burned in my brain for eternity.”
3) puledrotauren wrote, “This SMOKING hot girl who had all the guys’ heads turning comes
with a group of friends into the bar I worked at. My buddy saw me looking and said, ‘You got
no chance with her, dude,’ So, since I’m insane, I walked up to her and asked, ‘Do you have
the time?’ (This was pre-cell-phone days). So she looked at her watch and said, ‘9:30.’ I said,
‘Thanks. My buddies said you wouldn’t give me the time of day’ and walked off. An hour or
so later, she comes up to my booth, hangs out, and we wound up dating until she moved out of
state. Nice woman. I wish her well.”
4) Background-Factor817 wrote:
“I went to a house party at a mate’s house. I knew only a handful of people, but it was like a
second home.
“Anyway, a few hours later I head to bed because I’m working the next day. My mate is like,
‘Sure, take the spare room and use the shower or whatever in the morning.’
“Anyway, I get into bed, start to drift off, and there’s a crack of light at the door as one of the
girls from the party strips off, gets into bed, and says, ‘Hi.’”49
50. “Ladies, What Is Your Butt Versus Boobs Equivalent With Men?”
HeadLong8136 wrote:
“Many a year ago, I (25) was doing an install in a hospital alongside my Old Man (65). We
were installing cabinets in an active waiting room. He was up on a 3’ stepladder reaching up
above his head and I was standing below him handing up tools and fasteners. Sitting just a few
feet away were 2 little old ladies staring at him. One of the little old ladies turned to the other,
pointed at my father and said to her friend, ‘He’s got such a great butt!’
“My father was hard of hearing after sleeping beneath cannons in Vietnam and then 40 years
working construction. So he didn’t hear them at the time.
“Later that day I told him about the little old ladies. He had a grin on him the rest of the day.
When I told my mom about it that evening, she told me, ‘Why do you think I married him?’”50
51. “What Were You Doing The Day You Realized You Entered Middle Age?”
1) geth1962 wrote, “I was 33, recently divorced, and trying to remember how to chat up a
woman. The woman, about 25-26, told me she wasn’t into old men. I cried into my pint.”
2) Shiro1830 wrote, “I was excited to go to bed early and wear my new slippers while sipping
on warm tea. Who am I kidding? I’m still in my twenties, but that sounds like a dream day
now.”
3) caddis789 wrote, “A buddy of mine and I were driving around. I don’t remember why. I
remarked about how we had changed over the years. In the years before, we would have
noticed pretty women, or cool cars. What were we noticing? Nice yards, and shrubbery.”
4) Busty-Girl wrote, “I had to zoom in on my phone to read a menu at a restaurant. The
waitress noticed and brought me a large print version without me asking. The worst part? I was
actually grateful for it.”
5) traveler_im_53 wrote, “My life changed the day my daughter got married. I looked in the
mirror, and I was an old man.”
6) I-classycouture wrote, “I fell over in the pub and instead of laughing and jeering, people
were concerned.”
7) OttersWithPens wrote, “I went to put down a light basket of laundry and threw my back out;
for like 2 weeks, it hurt. I take lifting incredibly serious now.”
8) suture-self wrote, “Asking for socks for Christmas.”51
52. “What Are Your Creepiest Horror Stories That Are Actually True (NSFW In Case It
Gets Too Creepy, Just Precautions)?”
1) babybluerue wrote:
“I discovered I had a stalker because my friend borrowed my car.
“I was living alone at 18f in my own apartment. I noticed one day while looking for a favorite
pair of underwear that it seemed like I was missing a lot of my favorite panties. I searched high
and low but just couldn’t figure out where or why, but I honestly didn’t think too hard on it,
and that was my mistake. I had a consistent work schedule, but this week I had swapped day
off with a coworker, and it so happened that my friend needed to borrow my car because they
had car trouble the day before.
“My friend swung by pretty early in the morning to pick up the keys, and I went right back to
bed. But not too long after I would’ve normally been at work, I woke up to a strange sound. It
was my front door opening. I sat up and listened, not sure I was actually hearing what I thought
I was, but sure enough I heard someone walk right in. They immediately walked straight to my
bedroom and to both of our horror, we made eye contact as I nearly shit myself and clearly
they almost did, too. Immediately they ran out and I stood there frozen in shock from seeing
the guy who did my oil change a few months ago.
“A few months earlier, I had gone to a Jiffy Lube for an oil change and the same man who
helped me, was the same guy who made his way into my apartment. Through lots of police
investigating, I found out that he had been staking out my apartment and learning my schedule.
After I left for work, he would pick my lock, steal my underwear and hang out in my
apartment. He told the police that he just wanted to be closer to me before he ‘made his
move.’”
2) ShookyBoo65 wrote, “When I was 12, I was walking home from school, and a car full of
men pulled up next to me. They asked for directions and then asked if I’d get in to guide them,
I said no. I was turning down a street that had a back entrance to a recreational field, so I made
a split-second decision to just run for that field. Sometimes the entrance is locked, and I think I
was the luckiest person on earth that day because it wasn’t. When I got to the center of the
field, where it’s completely open and opposite my house, I glanced behind me and two of the
men had chased me. They quickly turned around and ran back when they realised people were
in the field with their dogs.”
3) beefytmelt wrote, “I was walking home from the pub one night, not drunk but merry, and I
noticed a guy walking on the same side of the road as me but behind. I noticed he had a red
coat on and after a few turns I noticed he was still following me and was closer. I started
worrying he might attack me so (I don’t know where this idea come from), I turned round and
shouted out what he was wearing, ‘RED JACKET, BLUE JEANS, WHITE TRAINERS. ‘He
did a 180 and walked away so I either saved myself or I scared him by looking completely
mental.”
4) LusciousHam wrote:
“When I was about 11, my dad started taking me duck hunting with him. One of the spots we
would hunt was a small duck blind off the banks of a river. We go out one morning in our
small boat, get to the blind, and inside lying on the bench is a naked girl. She is crying and
freaking out. My dad calms her down, and we take her back to the boat ramp and call the
police. My dad just told me she got lost and we didn’t talk much more about it. About 3 years
ago, he finally tells me the full story. Apparently she had an abusive boyfriend that took her
fishing, tried to have sex, and when she refused, things escalated. She thought he was going to
kill her and dumb her body in the river. She jumped overboard, swam to the bank, and
somehow found her way to our duck blind, where she hid from him.
“Freaked me out seeing someone in a blind at 5 am, but I can’t imagine being her and going
through that.”
5) Correct_Doctor_1502 wrote:
“One summer when I was around 6, my mom and grandma and I went up to the mountains to
give something to my reclusive aunt.
“Well, on the way back, we got lost, so lost that it got dark. There was no GPS in these days.
We drove hours and eventually got to a clearing with a line of perfect suburban houses facing
each other.
“All white and uniform in a neat line, but this was carved out of deep woods with the tree line
maybe 5 feet from the backs of the homes. No cars, no lights, no sign of life … until we get to
the end where a giant white church sits in the middle facing the road.
“My mom tells my grandma to turn around now, and she keeps saying maybe they have
directions, but my mom tells her to leave now. She is getting hysterical and saying this is
wrong. Grandma turns around, and as we do, a bunch of people in white robes come out of the
church with shotguns, and we high tail it out of there.
“Several hours later, we found a gas station and found our way out and asked about it, and they
said there is a doomsday cult somewhere in the deep woods and not much is known besides
that they aren’t nice people. Possibly still out there 20 odd-years later.”
6) Historical-Essay6116 wrote, “When I was about 10, I used to walk with my dad and our dog
at night. Dad would always move his work van around during this time, because of parking
restrictions in our town. I was sitting on a bench on a residential street, in front of a firehouse
with my dog. My dad was parking the van in a parking lot behind me; he was about 100 meters
away. I looked up and suddenly there was a white minivan across the road in front of me,
which hadn’t been there when I first sat down. In the front driver seat, a man wearing glasses
was staring out the window at me. There was no one in the front passenger seat. As I stared at
him, I saw a light turn on in the back of the car, where there was a woman wearing glasses, and
also staring at me. I felt uneasy and turned around to see if my dad would be much longer
parking his van. He was still about 100 meters away, but I couldn’t see him. When I looked
back towards the white minivan, the sliding door was open, and the woman was starting to
lunge across the street directly towards me. Without any thought, I grabbed my dog and ran to
my dad. When I reached him, I turned back around, and the van and people were gone. He was
staring at them, too. He told me he thought they were speaking to me. He was confused when I
told him they hadn’t said anything, and that they were just watching me. It’s still scary to
imagine what could’ve happened if I hadn’t run.”52
53. “Have You Ever Been Intimate With Someone Who Has A Disability, Like A
Wheelchair User? If So, What Was Your Experience Like? If Not, Would You Consider
It?”
1) linkman0596 wrote, “I dated a blind girl for a bit, she did that thing of touching your face to
see what you look like, and she wanted to see what I looked like everywhere — that was fun.
Less fun was when her service dog thought the noises she was making meant she was in
distress.”
2) Opening_Wrongdoer217 wrote:
“My girlfriend is blind. The only real difference is that if I want to do something unusual or
unprecedented, I have to announce it before doing it.
“All right, there’s also a story:
“She lost her sight in a vehicle accident before I met her. I didn’t ask details about it, so I
figured the impact of the accident severed her retinal nerves or something, leaving her with
non-functioning eyes.
“The first time we got busy, she said, ‘My eyes are itching. I gotta take them out.’ So yeah, she
had (amazingly good) prostheses. Which she then removed.
“I’m a trooper, but it’s hard to look directly as a couple of empty red holes where eyes are
supposed to be. Particularly during sexytime. So I turned my head away — it’s not like she
could tell — and looked at the nightstand. Where a pair of disembodied glass eyes were staring
right back at me.”
3) YogaAndWineGal wrote, “I did in high school with one of my good friends. He has MS, but
he had already gone blind and had a bad muscle issue on his right side. I gave him head twice
and we had sex a dozen or so times. We were 15/16 at the time. I’m 44 now, and those are still
his only sexual experiences, which sucks because in addition to being a great guy, he’s really
good looking, and he was a very enthusiastic partner.”
4) winstonismith wrote, “A friend of mine had both of her legs amputated due to an accident.
In the aftermath, her fiancé left her and her family and friends kind of stepped up to help out
however we could. Long story short, six months later we found ourselves alone in her place
after a night of hanging out with friends. I said something like ‘Do you need me to do
anything?’ and she said, ‘I dunno, fuck me?’ which was said sarcastically because she’s always
been that kind of person, but I said, ‘Sure.’ We became friends with benefits that night and for
the next few months until she was ready to start dating again. She’s now married to a
wonderful guy.”53
54. “What’s The Best Date You’ve Ever Been On?”
1) MoonlightFrostCharm wriote, “With my very first love! We were 18 at the time, and he was
such a gentleman. He picked me up, brought flowers, opened the car door for me, drove me to
this very cute restaurant, helped me seat and refused to split the check. We later went watching
the stars on this small beach nearby, and I had my first kiss! Later, we took different paths in
life, but I wish him the best and will never forget him.”
2) uncultured_swine2099 wrote:
“Asked out a girl in college for Valentine’s Day, but the downtown area we went to was filled
up, so we couldn’t catch a movie and the restaurants all had long wait times so it sucked. Also
we had a test that morning and stayed up the night before, so we were both tired.
“For the 2nd date I was like ‘I ain’t going out like that.’ Took her to a scenic place where some
family members had a condo, ate at two wonderful restaurants with a view and showed her the
condo and the surrounding woodland area. She had a wonderful time and said she felt like a
princess. She laid her head on my shoulder while we drove back (Uber, I wasn’t driving), and
kissed me on the cheek when she was getting out of the car. She’s now my wife.”
3) ScaricoOleoso wrote:
“That’s a tough one. I think I’ll go with one back when I was… I want to say 33. A first date,
just dinner at a place with a really good French Dip. She was five years older than me, and
very direct and to the point about everything. She was a recovering alcoholic, so no drinks.
While not an alcoholic, I was recovering from my own things, so there was a lot of good
conversation. There was a lot of laughing and fun stories on both sides.
“She flatly told me as we were leaving that I was getting laid that night (again, very direct).
But this next bit is why it stands out as a favorite. We were at her place, in the swing of things
and ready to go, and we realized we didn’t have any condoms. Without another word from
either of us on the matter, we promptly got dressed, went out to a gas station, and got some.
Then we came back like, ‘Okay, where were we?’ That whole time, I’m mentally celebrating
like, ‘YES! Two adults able to be adults!’
“Things ultimately didn’t work out for the same old reasons things don’t work out between
people, and things ended amicably. But I miss her for the conversation and the openness. That
condom story just stands out to me because I can say from experience that two people, even in
the heat of the moment, can be grownups and think about consequences of their actions.”
4) Snaggl3t00t4 wrote:
“Three or four months after my marriage imploded, I went on my first date with a new woman
in 25 years.
“She could not have been nicer. Coffee … walnut cake. I declined to overly talk about my
then-wife other than it was over, and I had been upset but I didn’t want to be single.
“She wouldn’t let me pay for food or drinks, and we talked until they closed about everything
from boxing, trainers, art, awful dates from Tinder. It was like she was an old friend, and when
we went to her place it was completely natural to go to bed together and not surface for about
15 hours. Not rampant sex but very mutually satisfying sensual sex. I realised how one sided
the bedroom had been in my marriage and how it couldn’t and shouldn’t be again.”
5) bellaokiiuwa wrote, “When I first met my current partner, we had a date at a tiny local diner
and then just wandered around town for like an hour doing nothing. It was incredible.”
6) mejok wrote, “My ‘first date’ with my wife. We lived in the same dorm in college and ran in
the same circles. One day, I told her how I felt about her. She stood up, kissed me, and then
pulled me into her bedroom. Our ‘first date’ was spent in bed.”
7) Chuck2025 wrote, “Karaoke bar! I was talking with this guy for a couple weeks from my
previous job and he finally asked me out. After work around 10pm, he invited me to a karaoke
bar and bought us an appetizer and some beers. It was SO FUN! And the top of the night, he
sang, ‘Are You Gonna Be My Girl?’ by Jet in front of everybody! A moment I’ll never
forget.”54
55. “To The Lucky Redditors, How And Where Did You Meet Your Partner For The
First Time?”
1) DeaddyRuxpin wrote:
“A friend asked if I wanted to go for a ride to pick up his friend from college. I had nothing
better to do, so I said yes. We get there and I have to take a piss, but it is a girls’ dorm (had
been a men’s in the past). Rather than go find someone to let me into a men’s dorm, my friend
and his friend tell me to use the bathroom and they will watch the door. So there I am pissing
at a urinal in a women’s room and in walks this stunning girl who looks at me, turns around
and walks out, and then yells, ‘Why is there a guy pissing in the bathroom?’
“I finish up and go find my friend. While waiting for his friend to finish packing, I sit on her
roommate’s bed. In walks the same stunning girl who looks at me and says, ‘First you are in
my bathroom and now you are in my bed? Get the fuck out!’ and she throws me out of the
room.
“That was 30 years ago and I’m still using that stunning girl’s bathroom and still climbing into
her bed. She just doesn’t throw me out any more.”
2) elusiveelation wrote:
“Not me, but when my sister was in college she was crossing the street when she was hit by a
car that ran a red light. (She went flying 10 feet, landed in some bushes, and was miraculously
unharmed, aside from a few scrapes.)
“The driver tried to flee the scene. He didn’t speak a lick of English and didn’t have a
license/insurance.
“A random guy, who witnessed the whole thing, reached through the open driver’s side
window, grabbed him by the collar and started shouting, ‘You make a habit of running little
girls over and fleeing the scene, b!tch! Get the fuck out of the car!’ (To be clear, my sister was
NOT a little girl, she was a 20-year-old woman who happens to be exactly 5’ tall & 100lbs.)
“My sister didn’t want to call the cops. She’s the most genuinely kind/soft-hearted person I
know, and she didn’t ‘want to be responsible for this man being jailed or deported when he
might be supporting his entire family back home.’
“The random bystander, who threatened the driver, insisted on walking her to the campus
health center. (She didn’t want to bother getting checked out … until she noticed how cute he
was.)
“She was put on concussion protocol and ended up hanging out with the guy all night so he
could keep an eye on her. They spent the whole night arguing politics. They’re on opposite
ends of the political spectrum, but for some reason, they seem to enjoy debating shit like CNN
is paying them for it. They’ve been dating for a couple of years now.”
3) elusiveelation wrote:
“Another one … not me, but an old high school friend. Sophomore year of college, she was
living in an apartment complex, and the landlord was the owner’s son. First time she met him,
she fell. HARD. She thought he was gorgeous in a geeky way. But she couldn’t seem to get his
attention.
“So after a few months, she decided to lie and tell him that she couldn’t afford her rent that
month … and offered him sex instead.
“Seriously.
“In his defense, he did initially offer to give her a few extra weeks. She told him that wasn’t
enough. He even offered to spot her the money that month. She told him she didn’t want to feel
like she owed him. After that, it didn’t take long to convince him.
“And fucking ensued.
“Long (and slightly icky) story short, they’re now engaged.”
4) innosins wrote:
“We met online, but after I found out he was a veteran I told him to come to the vet club I work
at to ‘flirt with the waitress and see what happens.’ I knew my vets could take care of him if it
turned out he was creepy.
“Instead, the ladies auxiliary took to him instantly. 30 minutes after he got there he was sitting
with them and answering questions while I was still checking tables. One asked me, ‘So how
long have you two been dating?’ I said, ‘About an hour.’ They were asking him his intentions
toward me like we were teenagers and we were in our late 40s. Lol.”55
56. “Doctors Who Had To Break The News, What Was A Reaction That Stuck With You
The Most?”
1) chimmy43 wrote:
“I have to give pretty bad news on a frequent basis. Most people know it’s coming.
“My last week in residency, I had to tell a mother that her daughter was going to die. She came
in talking the night before and had surgery for a life-threatening problem, but we thought she
would make it after. Halfway through the day, her vitals and labs took a nose dive and it was
obvious that our efforts had only temporized her, but we lost. She was intubated and peaceful,
but she was young and had two small kids.
“We have all seen the TV drama-style screams, pounding on the table, begging for someone to
do something, sobbing … when it’s real, it’s so much harder. Her mom was crying on the floor
asking me to take her organs to save her daughter. I’m not emotional, but that day wrecked me.
I went to the bar after with my attending [nurse?] and we didn’t talk. I try not to think about
it.”
2) Souithern_sky wrote:
“Delivered news to an older patient that her liver cancer was not operable and not eligible for
locoregional radiation or even palliative chemotherapy because of how far gone her liver
function was. There were simply no more options. Her husband was with her in the room when
our team delivered the news.
“As soon as we said our part, the two of them just held hands, rested their heads on each other,
and they started crying. At that moment, I didn’t even see them anymore, I saw myself and my
wife. I barely held it together in that room. I still don’t know how I made it the rest of the day
without breaking down. As soon as I got home, my wife wasn’t home yet, but I badly wanted
to see her. I just sat and cried for a while after that.”
twinkies_and_wine commented, “I worked as a retail pharmacy tech for a long time. I was the
only weekend tech at my store, so I got to know my patients pretty well. One weekend, my
RXM and I are doing our thing when one of our regulars comes through the drive-thru. I pick
up the phone to intercom drive-thru and greet him. He spent the next 15 minutes telling me that
the liver cancer they’d kept at bay for 10 years had spread. He blamed the new doctor at the
teaching hospital, saying it was their fault for trying something different. In reality, he stopped
responding to treatment and they went for a Hail Mary. I listened to him the whole time,
sharing my own experience as a cancer survivor and empathizing with his fear. He knew he
didn’t have long, and I assured him that he was an incredible man that we loved having as a
patient. He took his meds and drove away. I hung up the phone and my pharmacist raced over
to me, embracing me as I sobbed. I took a break and just cried. He passed a month later. I will
never, as long as I live, forget him and that conversation we shared that day.”
3) ladiesandedelman_ wrote:
“First year of being a doctor, a patient had an abrupt (very unexpected) code and died shortly
after we had just discussed starting a new round of chemo the next day. Fully laughing and just
hanging out with his family in the room not 30 minutes before he passed. It was the kind of
experience that shakes you and makes you consider leaving medicine because you do not know
if you will ever trust yourself again.
“I lost it and spent 15 minutes ugly crying in a stairwell before I could bring myself to go to
the family waiting room and tell them. But when I got there, they said they figured out what
had happened. They were sad, but thanked me for at least making his last day a happy one and
hugged me.
“I slept on the floor that night out of exhaustion. Their reaction is the only reason I was able to
peel myself up in the morning and get back to work. It has been years, but I will never ever
forget it or him.”
4) Creative_username29 wrote, “ER doc. I just had a young lady die of a drug overdose. She
was only 22. Her brother came as we were coding her (chest compressions). We had done
everything and there was no bringing her back. I asked if he wanted to be in the room when we
stopped, and he said yes. His reaction was heart breaking. He screamed and cried and then
picked up her body and whispered in her ear, ‘I love you so much. You’re my best friend.’ And
just held her and kept saying ‘I love you.’ All the staff had to take a moment after that. I’ve
done this 8 years, and that was one of the saddest, most heart-breaking things I’ve ever seen.
I’ll never forget them.”
5) WasteRadio wrote, “I worked in an internal medicine office and had to tell a patient that his
HIV test came back positive. I asked the medical assistant to come get me as soon as he was
checked in for his appointment, so he would not have to wait very long for me in the exam
room. I opened the door and he smiled and said, ‘I think I know what you’re going to tell me.’
I nodded my head yes and he put his arms out to be hugged. He cried and we hugged.”
6) Sauvignon_Pup wrote:
“When I was a resident and training in the PICU (pediatric ICU), I had a family whose three
sons were in a horrible car crash. One thankfully walked away with only a broken arm while
the other two unfortunately were admitted for severe injuries, and I was assigned to be their
primary medical provider. It became clear after a few days one was going to make it through,
but the other was not and was officially brain dead. I remember sitting down with family to
talk about next steps as they wanted to withdraw care, when the mom suddenly stopped me,
hugged me and said, ‘It’s ok. We want to donate his organs before we withdraw care. The day
he was born, I just knew I had to name him Valentino so he’d have a big heart, and now he can
give that heart away to someone who needs it.’
“I’ve never cried as hard as I did when they wheeled him to the OR for organ procurement, and
I still tear up to this day.”
7) hyngryukmedic wrote:
“Telling a very young patient that their cancer that was assumed to be curable through surgery
was in fact not so because it had spread to the brain.
“It was a rare cancer that rarely spreads, that rarely affects younger people.
“Some people get all the terrible luck in the world.
“The patient was remarkably stoic.
“But one of the parents lost it. The tears, wailing, pleading, and breakdown isn’t anything I’ll
forget. The rage against the system, the accusations I must be wrong and then the pleading and
tears again.
I think it’s the fact I took their hope away from them. There is no happy ending to this story,
but I’m the one who had to tell them.
“Years later, I can still see their face and grief. It’s burnt into my damn memory, and it took a
while to accept that perhaps trying so hard to forget would disrespect the patient’s memory.
“I’m trained to deliver bad news and do it regularly. This one remains one of the only times
where a case utterly emotionally broke me, and my supervisor saw my reaction and sent me
home and told the department I’d be off for a few days.
“There are always ‘those’ cases that stick with you forever.
“Cest la vie.”
8) emuand fox wrote:
“Trauma surgeon here. Looked after a young female nurse I worked with for years, after the
car she was in with her fiancé was struck by a drunk driver. She had unstable spinal fractures,
was flat on her back in a collar, and needed semi-urgent neurosurgery. I had to tell her that her
fiancé was brain dead, taken from the scene by helicopter to the other trauma hospital in our
city and was on a ventilator in ICU. She’d taken longer to extricate from the wreck and had
been brought to us. His parents refused to make a decision about organ donation or withdrawal
of care without her consent, but he was deteriorating fast.
“We moved mountains to get her urgently transferred in full spinal protections across the city
to his hospital, and put in the bed next to him so she could hold his hand and say goodbye.
Then she went off for neurosurgery.
“Broke my heart. Her sobbing and gasping for air while not being able to move. Tears running
sideways down her face, and her mum trying to keep her still to protect her spinal cord.
“But I will hold a place in my heart for everyone I called that day to say we need to move this
girl. It was a bank holiday, and every bed was full. Entirely medically unnecessary, but
absolutely the right thing to do.”
9) Man-EatingCake wrote:
“Not a doctor but worked as a medical scribe — basically I went into rooms with the provider
and listened to the story.
“Guy was diagnosed with very severe cancer via outpatient PET scan and told by their shitty
oncologist to come to the ER so someone else had to break the news so the oncologist could
stay home.
“Anyway I watched this otherwise cool provider take a 15-minute break afterward to go cry
because the gentleman said something along these lines: ‘I am so thankful you were here today
to help me and I am so sorry that you had to be the one to tell me this today.’”
10) linesmostlyfiller wrote:
“Just because this thread is a bummer, I’m going to tell a flip-flop story. I was with my mom
when her oncologist got to tell her that her aggressive metastatic cancer with a low survival
rate was responding incredibly well to treatment and she was on road to remission.
“Obviously the reaction from her and me was huge. He quickly excused himself, but I could
see he had tears of joy in his eyes. He had been my mom’s oncologist for almost 20 years at
that point, literally watched me grow up. Amazing man, obviously cared deeply for his
patients.”
11) Oculata wrote:
“I’m a pediatric oncologist, so I’ve seen the full range of reactions, and all of them have stuck
with me. But here’s a story about the reaction I never saw.
“When I was a first-year pediatric oncology fellow, you did two months of what was called
OCS: oncology consultation service. This meant that you were the fellow on-call to evaluate
all patients with a potential diagnosis of cancer who came in to the hospital. For example, a
child with low blood counts and bruises seen in the ER, or a patient on the orthopaedic service
who had an unexplained fracture and a lesion on X-ray that was suspicious for cancer. Once
you helped make the diagnosis of cancer, you would either admit the patient to the hospital
(where the fellow running the inpatient oncology service would take over), or you’d have them
come into the oncology clinic, where they’d be assigned to a different oncologist. You were
typically the first point of contact, but in many instances you didn’t end up becoming the
patient’s primary oncology. You just moved on.
“One night I was called to the ER to evaluate a child with symptoms consistent with leukemia.
No matter how much families are prepared, or think they are prepared, the reaction that you get
when you knock on the door and go into the room and introduce yourself by saying, ‘Hi, I’m
Dr. Blackman, I’m from the pediatric oncology service,’ is pretty much the same: You are
clearly the person they dread seeing the most.
“This night it was a four-year-old little girl. I came in, introduced myself, explained why I had
been called, and told them that until we looked at the blood under the microscope and did
additional tests (e.g., a bone marrow biopsy), we couldn’t know for sure, but that the ER
doctors wanted me to come and consult. That didn’t make the parents feel any better, but that
was my job. I examined the child, and then headed up to the lab to look at the blood smear
myself. Sometimes with leukemia, you need more sophisticated tests: flow cytometry,
immunohistochemistry, chromosomal karyotyping, evaluation of the bone marrow specimen.
But sometimes you look and you can just see the leukemic blasts and you can even,
sometimes, tell what the disease is (Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) versus Acute
Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL)). In this case, I looked in the microscope and it was very
certain that this was going to be ALL. There were lymphoblasts all over the place, and
combined with the symptoms, I was 99% sure. (You’re not 100% sure until you have done the
bone marrow and flow cytometry.) This child needed to be admitted with the provisional
diagnosis of new-onset acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
“I called the inpatient fellow and arranged for the admissions, and then I had to go back and
tell the family what was going on. When you tell parents that their child has cancer, you learn
very quickly that as soon as those words come out of your mouth — ‘The test appear to show
that your daughter has leukemia’ — that parents often hear nothing else after that. Just white
noise. Panic. Fear. So you learn very quickly how to get the key points across:
“‘The blood tests appear to show that your child has leukemia. Leukemia is a type of cancer.
We are admitting your child to the hospital, and we will take extraordinarily good care of her.
We know how to treat this disease. We will make a plan, and we will work to make her better.
You have a million questions now, and we will answer them, just not now, because right now
we need to focus on securing the diagnosis and taking care of your child, but we will take
extraordinarily good care of your child. We’ve got this. We know how to treat this. You have to
use the word cancer, unfortunately. You need to be unambiguous. And then you need to tell
them that we’ve got this. We will take care of their child, and we will make them better.’
“Anyhow, after that, the big machine kicked in. I wrote my note in the ER, wrote some
admitting orders, and then the patient was transported up to the inpatient unit. Often, I’d never
see the patient again. (This was a very large tertiary care referral center.)

“A couple of years later, I was in the elevator. I was now a 3rd-year fellow, spending most of
my time in the lab but occasionally taking calls or checking in on a patient of mine who was
back in the hospital. That evening I was standing there, looking through some papers when I
could sense someone staring at me. I looked up and there was a woman looking at me intently,
so I said, ‘hello,’ and then asked if we knew each other because she looked a little familiar.
And then she said that I was the doctor who saw her child in the ER two years ago when she
was diagnosed with leukemia. I asked after her daughter (she was doing well), and then I
apologized for not remembering her, and told her that I was surprised that she remembered me
after two years and having only talked with them for maybe an hour at the time. And what she
told me next has stuck with me for nearly 20 years. She said, ‘There’s no way that I could ever
forget meeting you. It’s seared into my memory. I remember every word that you said to me
that night.’
“It really shook me, and I told her that I hope that I had done right by her daughter. (She said I
did.) But it made me realize that, as a doctor, and in particular in my role, that patients and
parents sometimes hang on every word that comes out of our mouths. That we wield enormous
power vis a vis our ability to instill hope or trigger fear or cause despair. While we may see
thousands or tens of thousands of patients pass before us in our careers, patients may encounter
only a few doctors, and for pediatric oncologists, sometimes very few. We make an outsized
impression even with the smallest words or phrases. It also made me realize (this was before I
was a parent) the depth of the fears that parents have when it comes to their children’s lives,
and how your being there when a parent senses that their child’s life is in danger, irreversibly
imprints your presence on their memories and their lives.
“It is an awesome responsibility, and one that I feel privileged for having been given. I hope
that whenever I’ve had to break awful news to patients and families, I’ve done right by
them.”56
57. “What’s The Best Purchase Under $20 That Changed Your Life?”
bob_is_bob wrote:
“A brownie. A girl I fancied at work was sad, so on my lunch break I bought her a brownie and
gave it her for when she went on hers.

“We’re now very happily married, and she says the brownie really won her over.”57
58. “For The Guys Who Were Told ‘No’ During A Marriage Proposal—What Happened
Next?”
1) Philom3n3 wrote, “Not myself, but my parents’ story: My parents had been dating for about
a year, and Dad took Mom out. He was a functional alcoholic then, and he brought whiskey
with him everywhere. When he proposed, she said, ‘You’re already married. To that bottle.’
They continued to date casually while my dad got himself sober. He wouldn’t even touch beer
— and still doesn’t drink to this day! On Valentine’s Day, he arrived at my grandparents’,
where she lived, with a large, heart-shaped box of chocolates, the center chocolate holding the
ring. He wanted to speak with her parents alone and my mom kept getting irritated about being
shuffled out of the room by my grandma and grandpa. The last time, she angrily slammed their
door, promptly slipped, fell down the stairs, and bonked her head. Once they got her settled
with an ice pack, my dad opened the box and asked her again, to marry him. She said yes, and
they’ve been together 38 years this past December. She’ll occasionally joke that she only said
yes because she had a concussion!”
2) discostud1515 wrote:
“My friend wasn’t told no, it was worse. She said, ‘Ugh, I don’t want to be one of those girls
who says no.’
“They did get married, but it didn’t last long.”
3) sinistadilly wrote:
“We had talked about marriage before. I told her I wasn’t ready just yet and that I thought we
weren’t ready just yet and we should wait a bit. She said that if I didn’t want to marry her,
there were plenty of guys she would be able to find who would and that her parents kept
introducing her to these men (until then she hadn’t told her parents about me coz they were
very conservative and old school).
“Proposed on our next vacation a few weeks later. She said ‘I’m not sure’ at that exact moment
when I got down on a knee and gave her the ring. Then she said yes. Then she said ‘I’m not
sure’ again a couple hours later. Then we went to sleep, and the next morning she said yes
again.
“Cut to us calling off the wedding 3 months before the date. In hindsight, I probably should
have called it off immediately at the time of the proposal.”
4) aloneintheupwoods wrote, “Not me, but our hot air balloon pilot told a great story about a
guy who rented out the entire balloon for the proposal, even managing to bring along a
photographer as his ‘best friend from out of town.’ Midflight he gets down on one knee and
proposes, and she looks horrified and FLINGS the engagement ring over the side. All caught
with photo proof. Very quiet return trip, and no tip, per the pilot.”
RUA_bug_Bill_Murry commented, “That one sounds like it could be a bit of a hustle by the
pilot. Gives you an entertaining story while also subtly reminding you to tip.”
5) Znyx_ wrote, “My mom said no to my dad many times. After 6 months of him asking
repeatedly, she finally said yes because she was sick of him asking. They have been together
now for 27 years and that’s 27 years too long. They absolutely hate each other but won’t do
anything about it.”
6) thndrchld wrote:
“We were in New Orleans. When I pulled the ring out of my pocket at city park, she said,
‘Don’t you dare. The kids have been dicks all day, I’m sweaty as hell, and there’s trash
everywhere.’
“The next day, we went out to dinner. Halfway through the dinner, she got down on one knee
and pulled out a ring of her own. She turned me down because SHE was planning to propose
the next day.
“We’ve been married for a year and a half now.”
7) thefuzzybuntty1 wrote, “My parents were dating only 6 months when they found out my
older sibling was on the way. They agreed to keep the baby. Turns out, Mom had assumed that
‘keeping the baby’ meant ‘moving in together,’ whereas Dad was a traditionalist and assumed
they should make things legal if they were starting a family. Dad, accordingly, got down on
one knee and proposed marriage. Mom, surprised, said no. But after further discussion along
the lines of ‘yes, I’m serious,’ he asked again and she said yes. They’ve been married 37 years
now.”58
59. “What’s The Most Embarrassing Thing That’s Ever Happened To You That Still
Makes You Cringe When You Think About It?”
1) muddyshoes_throwaway wrote, “I was walking in a busy downtown area from my car to a
local coffee shop to meet someone for a date. I felt extremely cute in my short skirt/crop top
combo, and was riding the confidence. While waiting for the crosswalk light to tell me to
cross, a really cute guy rode past me on a bike and just said ‘your skirt!’ I confused, looked
down/behind to realize my skirt was tucked into the back of my panties, and my whole butt
cheek/panties were exposed. This was an EXTREMELY BUSY area with cars driving by and
people walking past, and I had walked like a block from my car at that point. I wanted to die.”
2) melissabeebuzz wrote:
“I was like 13 and saw the movie Bad Teacher with Cameron Diaz in which she says how she
wants to sit on a guy’s face that she thought was attractive, so I thought that was a saying to
say when you find someone attractive. (I had NO idea that meant oral sex. Lmao.) My dad was
driving me to school one day and I saw my friend walking so we picked her up and as girls do
we were talking about boys and one of the guys I had a crush on became the topic and I said
how I wanted to sit on his face. My dad heard but didn’t really react and my friend just gasped
and widened her eyes.
“That memory literally haunts me TILL THIS DAY.”
3) momomum wrote, “I was 14 and deeply in love with an ex who lived on the same street.
One night as I was just going for a quick grocery run, I saw his bedroom light on. He was
living on the ground floor. So I decided to jump his fence, climb to his window, and take a look
in. Well, let’s just say that as soon as I looked inside, my eyes met his and he looked horrified.
I ran away and thought I’d die of embarrassment that night. 18 years later, I still cringe
thinking of this. I never told anyone.”
4) onetoomanyexcuses wrote, “I was a guest at a wedding and was wearing this super pretty
green dress, low cut but still appropriate for the ceremony at a Catholic church. While walking
towards the church for the ceremony, I stepped on my dress and flashed my boobies to many
guests who were waiting to go in. I was so embarrassed, almost crying after that.”
5) beeanz10 wrote, “When I was much younger, my Catholic grandparents brought me to
church (I’m not Catholic) and during communion, I was instructed to stay seated. A minute or
two later, a lady was trying to get out of the pew I was sitting in, so I stood up for her. Well,
when I stood up, she must’ve thought I was about to get in line to drink wine and eat crackers
and insisted I go ahead of her. I tried telling her I didn’t want to, that it was ok, but she still sat
there and waited for me to go. So, being young and stupid, I got in line for communion. I was
watching what everyone ahead of me did and when I got to the Priest, I tried copying them …
he asked if I was Catholic and I couldn’t lie in church, so I said no. He denied me communion
in front of everyone, and I was (and still am) so embarrassed about it.”
6) DarkField_SJ wrote:
“I finished a shower once and put on a t-shirt and yoga pants before going out into my
apartment’s living room, where my roommate and her girlfriend were hanging out.
“I didn’t realize that my hair was still wet enough to seep into the t-shirt where it made contact.
I gave them a free show with the unexpected wet t-shirt contest. Oops!”
7) dovesweetlove wrote, “Too many to count but probably when I was getting arrested by two
male cops and my tank top was pulled so far my tits were just out in the cool air of night
seeing the world for what it was.”
8) dumb_old_girl wrote:
“I was 12 days late with my first child. I woke up at 8 am and lay there praying today was the
day. I heard a pop in my stomach, which I had heard the baby sucking his thumb in utero
[make] before, but this was a different pop. I sat up and felt the wet hot liquid pooling between
my legs! Yes! Go time! I call my husband and let him know my water broke. I call my OB and
tell them my water broke, and ask them if I go on to the OB floor or come by their office first.
Their office was in the hospital, by the way. They tell me the office first.
“I take a shower; I put an overnight pad on because at times it’s really dripping. My husband
gets home; we eat breakfast and leave.
“At the office, they tell me it’s unlikely my water broke but they want to check. I put on the
gown, get up on the table and in comes a doctor I’ve never met and another who’s in training.
They are not friendly and the one goes. ‘We have new mothers who confuse urine with
umbilical fluid all the time, this is why we do a ph test….’ So he puts some kind of paper down
there and real snarky says, ‘See, just urine, you can go back home.’
“Then he starts criticizing mothers who use up their time with this trivial business, and I’m
really starting to feel embarrassed. I’m feeling low, and feel a cloud come over me and I start
to cry a little, thinking I’m 12 days late, I know it’s not pee. I guess the doctor realizes he’s
talking like this about me, in front of me, and he says he’ll do another ph test. Then, like a
miracle from God himself, my water explodes from my vagina like an ocean wave! He tries to
get away from it and falls back off his stool and is flailing in my umbilical water on the floor.
The new guy is trying to help him up, but he’s not wanting to touch him either so he just backs
up.
“Others heard him fall and came into the room. I look at my husband and he has the biggest
shit-eating grin on his face. I’m dying of embarrassment because there’s at least 10 people
looking at my cooter and trying to figure out what the hell happened. The doctor finally stands
up and starts to say something else and another wave of fluid exits my vagina. They all back
up and out of the room. They bring in a wheelchair and take me up to the delivery floor.
“I guess that doctor was an asshole to everyone because I got the royal treatment the rest of the
day and night and half the next day. Every time my husband left the room, he overheard
conversations about the guy getting an umbilical shower. I still cringe thinking about it, even
though he got what he deserved.”59
60. “What Is Your Family’s Darkest Secret? Was There A Deathbed Confession?”
1) NiteOwl94 wrote:
“After my grandfather on my mother’s side passed away, my mom, her sister, and my two
uncles pieced together a bit of family history wherein they came to the conclusion my
grandfather murdered a child molester who was eyeing my aunt (who was the baby of the
family at the time, only 6 or 7) on school grounds and trying to get her into his car on multiple
occasions.
“My grandfather drove her to school one day, it was a Friday, and asked her to point out the
man who’d been doing this. She did, and that weekend, grandpa and a close family friend had
organized a little getaway for the family — up the coast, to the beach. Which was very
random. At a rest stop for gas and snacks, my uncles (8 and 10-11) saw a bundle under their
seat in the back, and when they unrolled it, they found a machete covered in viscera. My
younger uncle didn’t understand what he was seeing, but the older one knew it was some
dangerous adult business and wrapped it back up and made him swear not to say anything.
“They get to the beach late Saturday, and before anyone gets out, Grandpa and the family
friend have to ‘do something’ first, and they grab a big carpet roll out of the trunk, grab the
bundle from under the seat, and carry it up the shore line, past the rocks and such. A while later
they came back, took the family to a hotel for the night, and spent most of Sunday having fun
at the beach.
“As adults now, my mom and her siblings were shocked, each contributing some small piece to
this whole story, never knowing about the whole thing until then. Finally my grandmother
chimed in and said that Grandpa was not a man who trusted the police to do anything about
anything and just shrugged. I only really feel comfortable telling this now as both
grandparents, my aunt, and my mom have all passed away. Only my uncles are still kicking.”
2) AnybodySeeMyKeys wrote:
“My grandmother’s birthday was on October 30.
“When she died, we learned it was actually on October 31. She refused to acknowledge that
she was born on Halloween.”
3) YouDidntAskGurl wrote, “We were going through photo albums for my grandfather’s
obituary, and we found some pictures of my mom in a wedding dress. That should have been
the first red flag; my mother had described her wedding dress to me in detail before. My mom
told them to close the album and look through the others, but she refused to tell me why. She
said she would tell me after we got back to where we lived. When we did, I will never forget
the words that left her mouth. ‘Those pictures were from my first marriage; don’t tell your
brother.’”60
 Chapter 4: Questions 61-80
61. “What Are Your Thoughts On The Rise Of AI [Artificial Intelligence] Girlfriends Or
Relationships?”
schwarzmaleran wrote, “I find it ironic that women’s replacement for a man is a vibrator and
men’s replacement for a woman is a machine that simulates bonding, emotion, validation,
desire.”61
62. “What’s The Biggest Lie An Adult Made You Believe When You Were A Kid?”
1) Quiet-Mortgage9616 wrote, “I was always described by my mother as the ‘easiest physical
birth out of all of the kids.’ I was proud until I was told I was adopted when I was eighteen.”
2) heidelberg2023 wrote, “When we first got a hi-fi system with a cd player back in the early
90s, my sister and I were told by my parents that you can’t stop the cd or it will get scratched.
We spent years just turning the volume down when we didn’t want to listen anymore, just
waiting for the cd to finish!”
3) gotprincessrae wrote, “My various pets ran away. They definitely died.”
Menace_17 commented, “My parents ruined any chance that lie would ever work on me when
they said my beta fish ran away.”62
63. “What’s The Nicest Thing Anyone’s Said To You During Sex?”
1) ChunLinBun wrote, “Late husband once said that he needed a moment to collect himself
because after a routine blowjob he could see only stars. That was a nice compliment boost.”
2) the_bird_and_the_bee wrote, “‘I still can’t believe I get to have sex with you, I am the
luckiest man in the world.’ — my sweet husband of 14 years.”
3) anon_opotamus wrote:
“It was immediately after sex. We had done it several times that weekend and he was
exhausted and saying that he was done, but I seduced him one last time.
“He collapsed on top of me and said, ‘You’re a fucking witch.’”
4) Daisy_Dont wrote, “One time my husband gave me a little kiss on the forehead right before
cumming, and I’ll never forget it.”
5) nepheelim wrote, “Don’t know about sex, but I once got a really sincere hug.”
6) evilpigclone wrote, “I was having people over for drinks, my then-girlfriend and I were
getting frisky, so we went to my room and she started giving me a blowjob. During said
blowjob, a guy in our friend group that I really admired opened my door, I think he was
looking for somewhere to get it on with his date. This startled my girlfriend and she sat up. My
friend at the door yelled, ‘Nice cock,’ and shut the door. To this day that was the nicest thing
anyone’s ever said to me during sex.”
7) 007baldy wrote, “She was riding me and smiling and I asked, ‘What’s that smile for,
beautiful?, She said, ‘This is my favorite place in the world.’”
8) GH057807 wrote:
“Not during, but immediately afterwards: ‘I want you to know, at no point during all of that did
I think I could be eating a grilled cheese sandwich right now to myself.’
“Pretty solid compliment, I think.”

9) ppqppqppq wrote, “Oh good, we missed only the commercials!”63

64. “Have You Ever Paid For Sex? How Was That Experience? Would You Do It Again?”
1) playmoby wrote:
“One time, when my husband and I were playing Monopoly, I landed on his property with
hotels on it. I didn’t have the money to pay. I offered him sex in exchange for the Monopoly
money.
“We remind each other of that often, 15 some years later.”
2) bluecheetos wrote, “Fun Fact: 25 years ago we paid a friend of a friend to come to a bar and
make a friend of ours ‘feel special’ … no sex, just chat with him and help him get over his fear
of women. They’ve been married 23 years. She’s really going all out to earn that $40 we paid
her.”
3) purbredcrab wrote:
“I went to an escort as a form of sex therapy as I had a ton of issues around sex/intimacy/self-
esteem resulting from childhood abuse, and it was really, truly wonderful. Like, life-changing.
I did research to find someone who was independent and seemed like a good fit, and I was
totally upfront about my situation and goals, and she just could not have been more empathetic
and supportive.
“It may not have been the first time I had sex, but it was the first time that didn’t involve pain,
humiliation, or judgment.
“For me, it was an absolutely invaluable addition to the talk therapy, and a part of the larger
healing process.”
4) tizod wrote:
“I was traveling Europe solo and was in Amsterdam. I walked through the red-light district to
check it out, of course. I thought to myself that there was no way on earth I could do that
knowing that hundreds of people were walking on the sidewalk a few feet away.
“I made my way back to my hotel, which was somewhat off the beaten path, and I came across
a much smaller red-light area.
“In the window was one of the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I had to talk myself into
it, but eventually I went in.
“She was Brazilian and had one of the most amazing bodies I had seen.
“Best 30 seconds of the trip.”
5) HolyLiaison wrote:
“I did once in the Philippines. Well, kinda.
“I went shopping at a mall in Cebu City a few days before I was going to head back to the
States. I was browsing in this electronics store because they have all sorts of cool gadgets that
we don’t get in the USA.
“A few minutes after I enter the store, a very beautiful Filipina girl walks up to me asking if I
need any help. I decline and tell her I’m just looking because they have a bunch of cool tech
stuff we don’t get in the U.S.
“She asks me where I’m from in the U.S,. why I’m in the Philippines, my age, if I’m with
someone (which I wasn’t).
“She was pretty cool, and started joking with me about stuff while I was looking around the
store. Her fellow coworker was also joking with me about them both being single.
“As I was about to leave, she asked me if I used WhatsApp. I said I did, so she gave me her
number and said to message her if I wanted to hang out before I left the Philippines.
“Two days later I’m sitting around with no plans. Pretty bored. So I message her asking if she
wanted to go out to a bar after she got off work. Almost instantly, she replies, ‘Yes!’
“I met her at this rooftop bar I found on Google Maps that was pretty close to my Airbnb. We
have an excellent time, got along great.
“I invited her back to my Airbnb. It’s around 2am and we’re both slightly drunk. We get there,
and she’s all over me as soon as we get in the door.
“It was probably the best drunk sex I ever had. It was almost 5am when we finished.
“We lay there in bed cuddling and talking for another couple hours about everything you could
think of. Almost 7am by the time we decided to sleep. It was super cool.
“We wake up around noon and continue talking. I asked her how much she made at her job.
She says about 5,000 Philippine pesos a month. Basically $86 USD. This shocked me.
“She joked that she knew I probably had meals in the US that cost more than she made in a
month.
“We ended up hanging out the remaining few days I had left in the Philippines. It was an
amazing time.
“The day I had to leave she came to the airport with me at 3am to send me off. After we say
our goodbyes, I remember I still have a bunch of pesos in my wallet.
“I stop her and tell her I want to give her what I have in my wallet. She declined at first.
“I had about $430 USD (in pesos) in my wallet. Basically 25,000 peso.
“When I took the money out, she REALLY didn’t want to take it, but I insisted. I didn’t want
to go to the money exchange in the airport anyway!
“After I left the Philippines, we talked on WhatsApp almost every day.
“I ended up going back to the Philippines a year later, and we met up for a week and had an
amazing time once again.
“She told me that the money I gave her helped pay for the entire last year of her college tuition
plus some.
“She graduated right after I left the Philippines the second time, and she’s now a nurse in
London.
“A pretty successful lady! Sending plenty of money back home to her family. She also now has
a boyfriend there.
“All of this happened ~6 years ago.
“Yes, I know technically I didn’t ‘pay’ directly for sex.
“I just like telling this story.
“Good memories.”
6) goldcoastian wrote, “Sorta. Hooked up with a guy and he stole my iPod.”64
65. “What’s Something Small That Someone Did, That Changed Your Dating Standards
Forever?”
1) NotUneven wrote:
“She listened to me, took interest in anything I had to say or share, there’s no way she was
always interested, but was excited and into it because I was. She took candid pictures of me
and my son. She was completely fine when I needed alone time and would do her own thing.
She’d build on anything I wanted to do. For example, Me: ‘I want to watch a movie, let’s let
enter my son’s name pick the movie and get his favorite snacks.’ Her: OKAY! Let’s also build
a fort! I’ll grab all the blankets and pillows in the house.’ Bought things my son liked. Talked
to him. Built things out of Lego and played Beyblades with child-like enthusiasm. Listen to
him talk on and on about things he liked with a smile that mirrored in her eyes. She was
amazing. I was working a lot. 50/50 custody and anyone with this access schedule and a full-
time job knows that finding time during the week to get quality time with your child can prove
difficult. My son wanted to have a pillow fight SO BAD! I was used to being solo. One time,
she was over, I made us all dinner, and I was cleaning up. She stopped me. ‘Go have a pillow
fight with enter son’s name. I can clean up.’ It was really difficult for me to let some else take
over, but I did it. I still have the videos she recorded of me and my son having that pillow fight
once she’d done the dishes. I could also get upset or irritated by something she did,
communicate the issue, and she’d respect my upset. Eventually, we’d calmly talk through
things if emotions had gotten high. Which was almost never.
“She could also communicate when she was upset or frustrated. No yelling. No guilt trips. No
passive aggressiveness. No held grudges or things to throw in my face at a later date. If she
needed a minute during a disagreement, she could walk away and communicate effectively.
She could set healthy boundaries and do her own thing. Had her own friends, hobbies, and
interests that she’d readily share and involve me in, or not.
“I’d never been in a relationship like that before, nor since. All that to say, the ‘smallest’ thing
she did, although she had a HORRIFIC past, was effortlessly show me what a healthy
relationship could be, and that trauma does not always manifest in shitty ways. Sometimes,
people take all of their awful experiences and the ugly they endured and invert it. They become
vessels for good and just make the world better. I say ‘small’ because I don’t believe what she
did was a grand/deliberate effort or pious display. What she did was HUGE, but she did it
without effort or intent.
“It has taken a long time to realize the impact she had on me, and I won’t settle for anyone who
doesn’t make this world a better place simply being themselves in it.”
NotUneven added:
“We met when I was still grieving an ex. The ex was still very much alive, but I feel like that’s
kind of what you do when you separate from someone you were close to, you grieve them.
Because of that, I couldn’t give myself wholly to the person I wrote about. I ended things. We
remained friends afterwards, but ultimately we went our own way. She was gone by the time I
realized I was in love with her.
“I always thought that line ‘’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’
was complete nonsense. Maybe it is for some, or the loss is just infinitely sad, but for me, I
really am grateful for her. I used to believe in ‘Soul Mates.’ I’m not sure anymore. There are
too many people on this earth for me to believe that I’ll never meet someone who will make
me feel something like that again. But, for now, and always, I would hope or imagine, that
relationship will always hold meaning, significance, and beauty.”
NotUneven added:
“Her family lived way out in the middle of nowhere. Well, a small town a good ways out of a
city. We were visiting her mom, and we took her mom’s dog for a walk. It was late. Dark. She
had this infinite ability to appreciate everything. Me, I was getting annoyed by the dog, the
cold, I was tired. Etc. Not to say I wasn’t enjoying the walk; I really, really was. Just one of
those times where you’re homing in on the negatives. I was lagging behind her, focusing more
on the dog and worrying about what it was doing rather than just being present.
“She was a decent way ahead of me. She paused. She stood on a path and just stared at the sky.
I don’t know why in that moment it happened, but it did. I just snapped right into the present.
She was just standing there looking up. For the sake of visualizing it, if I’m facing north
looking at her, she’s stood looking up facing NNW. Maybe this sounds nuts because she was
looking with her face almost entirely away from me, but her posture, the way her arms hung,
the space between her feet, I KNEW she was smiling and taking in whatever she was looking
at in awe. As I approached, she spoke. You know when you can hear the joy in someone’s
voice? I don’t know if it was just joy. Like a contentedness. Is that a word? She said something
like, ‘Just look at those stars.’ Again, I don’t why it happened and, AGAIN, I didn’t really
process the moment, meaning, or what I thought until much later, but I thought or more kind of
felt something like, ‘Those stars are looking at you.’
“She really was/IS a blessing, and I’m eternally grateful for the time(s) we had. It would be
inappropriate to reach now. She’s living her happily ever after, and I’m so glad that she is.”
2) BugTrousers wrote:
“I had decided to just stop dating, and I quit for two years. My last ‘relationship’ before I met
my current partner was with a guy who, when we broke up, kept a tote bag that had a lot of
sentimental value to me. It was from the Strand bookstore, and I’d bought it on my first trip to
NYC. I left it at his house, and he didn’t even try to give it back.
“I told my current partner about this on one of our early dates, when we were talking about our
exes. Seven months later, for Christmas, he got me a Strand tote bag. I hadn’t even mentioned
it again after that date, and he remembered. He said, ‘I couldn’t find one like you described, so
I got you one with cats on it.’ (I’m a total cat person.)
“I started crying when I opened it. Nobody else I’ve ever dated has been so thoughtful. He set
the standard, and I hope we never break up.”
3) Tiny_Chicken1396 wrote, “I dated someone who listened to the little things. I mentioned
that I used to love driving around with my mom to see Christmas lights and how exes in the
past didn’t want to do that with me because it was ‘boring.’ Well, this guy remembered that
conversation and took me out to see Christmas lights a few months later. It was great! Even
though it didn’t work out between us, I still think he’s a great person and I hope he’s found
someone just as nice as he is. My husband now takes me to see Christmas lights with our 3
kids every holiday season. :)”65
66. “People Who’ve Dated Athletes, What Was It Like?”
1) brittleboyy wrote:
“I dated an international swimmer. He was up every morning at 5 to swim, came back to eat,
cuddle, and sleep, and then he did the same thing in the afternoon. He was really good at
balancing his training and the relationship, which I don’t think I fully appreciated in the
moment.
“His shoulders took up like 3/4 of the bed, which I guess was a blessing and curse. The biggest
downside was, no matter how much he showered, everything always smelled a bit like
chlorine.”
2) waldobloom92 wrote, “I dated a pro hockey player who was on the national team. It was
smelly.”
3) Tangboy50000 wrote, “Friends with a girl who married an NBA star. Cheating was
constant, known, and accepted as the price she paid for being well taken care of and not having
to work. She was very matter of fact about it, and it was kind of sad. Apparently, it was only
allowed on the road, and there was never to be any side chicks in or around the house.”
4) arequipapi wrote:
“My sister got knocked up at 17 by a guy who went on to play 12 years in the NBA. They
didn’t stay together. (He was just about to accept his scholarship and was highly ranked in both
high school and college prospect lists.)
“It seemed to be a hookup/short fling kind of thing. I have to say, he has done right by my
sister and his daughter since making bank. He gifted her a bunch of money after he got his
NBA signing bonus, and my (now 16-year-old) niece is set up for life. And though my sister
went on to finish high school and college and get a good job, she has been able to save
basically 100% of her earnings because he kept paying (and still pays — until the daughter is
18) a lot of child support.
“Daughter knows who her dad is and has met him several times. I don’t think she knows how
much money is sitting in a trust for her, though. Sister is now married and has 2 other kids
since then.
“Another friend of mine who I’ve known for only 4 or 5 years is dating an MLS player. They
seem happy. She already has a lucrative career and can work remote, so during the off-season
they travel constantly.”
5) Mike-ipedia wrote, “I’m married to an NCAA D1 Swimmer who still holds records from
her time at school. She’s still way into fitness and got me into it, too. We get up early every day
and hit the gym, and then life is normal otherwise. She’s really quite awesome.”
6) My wife dated a USAmerican pro soccer player for a bit. Didn’t work out because he was
always training. He went to practice all day, then came home and had to run 10 miles on the
treadmill. Every day. She got bored hanging out watching him run on a treadmill for a few
hours while he watched soccer games. They led very different lives.”66
67. “What’s One Thing About Sex You Wish You’d Learned Earlier, And How Has It
Impacted Your Relationships Or Self-Confidence?”
1) limonadebeef wrote:
“I wish that I knew that it wasn’t this big thing that raises your self-importance. When I was
just beginning to be sexually active, I had sex with a guy and afterwards he literally just said,
‘So what do you want to eat for breakfast?’ and we went into the kitchen and poured a bowl of
cereal and milk and ate together on the couch while we watched King of the Hill on the TV and
that’s when it kinda set in: Sex is just this other mundane thing that happens to you. Don’t get
me wrong, I love sex. Sex is awesome, but so are playing instruments or going to a theme park
or trying a new food that you’ve never tried before. iI’s not a uniquely amazing or important
experience; it just is what it is.
“It’s made me averse to hookup culture because I’ve found out that part of having a good
sexual experience is doing it with someone you genuinely like. It’s made me set a standard
with the people I date, something I didn’t use to do.”
2) celestialism wrote, “Use a vibrator during sex whenever you want to, not only because it
makes sex better but also because it weeds out a lot of people who are too insecure or sexually
selfish to be fun in bed.”
3) MaleficentYellow8134 wrote, “Rough sex shouldn’t hurt or lead to bleeding. Foreplay IS
necessary.”
4) Human_Effect 8808 wrote:
“That my pleasure is equally important. That I deserve pleasure. That my body is perfect in its
own way. That I am sexy. That my man means it when he says he is into me.
“This would have helped me enjoy sex way earlier in our relationship. I always thought I had
to act like in the movies and focus solely on his pleasure.
“I feel free now. My sex drive has increased, and I am feeling more sexy than ever before.
“Love yourself.”
5) Internal-Theme-5692 wrote, “I’m pretty sure I’d been sexually actively for about 10 years
before I realized I was doing more harm than good faking orgasms and that it was perfectly
acceptable to give them to myself during sex with a partner if I felt the need.”
6) MakeUpItalia wrote, “Lube is your best friend.”
7) Safira265261 wrote:
“I was very precious about my virginity and did not explore much in my early 20s. Lost my
virginity at 25. (It was fine, not super great.) But after that — I’d always get bored with sex
with everyone I dated post that. Issue was I’d always be super dry no matter whatever they did.
I used to feel really bad. Cause the sex would be painful or it just wouldn’t happen. For a very
long time, I blamed myself that there was something wrong with me. I had given up on
thinking that I’d have sex again and it’d be pleasurable. In fact, with my long-term partners
(planning to marry), we stopped having sex in the first year and it always sort of became an
issue for us.
“Fast forward, we broke up and I met a guy on a dating app. First date was okayish. I have not
been into one-night stands as I’ve never been able to have sex with known partners even. But
he and I clicked physically like anything. He was a firecracker in bed. He was experienced and
knew how to get me going (which even I did not know!). We dated and hooked up for 2.5
years and that was the best sex of my life. Lessons:
1. Explore to know more about what you like. (If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have realized
what I was missing on and how nothing was wrong with me!)
2. A guy’s experience made a difference when I had been a noob all my life.
3. Sex is an important aspect of life between a couple; it’s a make or break deal. At
the same time, it’s not the only thing that matters. I broke up with my long-term
partner because we couldn’t have sex and I broke up with the hook-up guy too
because we weren’t compatible other than when it came to sex. So, it’s important
to strike a balance of both in a relationship.”67
68. “What’s An Adult Confession You’d Never Tell Your Family?”
1) Silver_Foxx wrote:
“I make my living owning and running a small business that designs and sells custom plushies
and apparel.
“My family thinks I make my money crocheting, and I do make a few bucks here and there
from my yarn work, but the absolute vast majority of my income comes from the custom-made
latex fetishwear and kink gear I produce.”
2) RojerLockless wrote:
“My buddy Jake invited me to his church’s trivia night, and I figured, ‘Sure, I’ll pretend to
know Bible stuff if it means I get unlimited slices of pepperoni.’ Things were going great until
one trivia question asked, ‘What’s the fastest-growing Christian denomination?’
“Being the self-proclaimed king of useless knowledge, I muttered, ‘Probably the Mormons.
Those guys are grinding harder than a Call of Duty streamer.’
“Turns out, I was right. Pastor Dan, the youth pastor, overheard me and started asking
questions like I was some Mormon historian. Now, I’m not Mormon, but thanks to a deep dive
into Wikipedia after watching The Book of Mormon musical, I had random facts locked and
loaded. So I started rambling about Joseph Smith, golden plates, and how Mormons don’t do
coffee but somehow still have the energy of caffeinated squirrels.
“Apparently, Pastor Dan was fascinated. He started asking me more questions, and since my
brain is 80% trivia facts and 20% anxiety, I just kept going. I figured he’d forget about it.
“Fast forward a few weeks: Jake tells me Pastor Dan has been deeply researching Mormonism
… like, full-on studying their theology, reading the Book of Mormon, and apparently vibing
with it.
“Then, last week, Jake drops this bomb: ‘Dude… Pastor Dan just announced he’s converting.’
“I went to church for free pizza and accidentally built a Mormon.
“TLDR: Got free pizza, dropped some random Mormon facts, and now there’s one less youth
pastor and one more guy preparing to bike across America in a white shirt and tie.”
3) Plug_5 wrote, “I had a summer job in college when I was 20. Hooked up with a woman who
was 27, and who in hindsight was definitely lying about 1) being separated from her husband
and 2) being on birth control. (I was really naive.) Next time I came home from college I found
out from my mom that the woman had had a miscarriage, ‘which is weird because wasn’t she
separated from her husband?’”
4) stacan1 wrote, “I was a stripper for two years. Paid cash for college. Twenty-five years later,
no one knows.”
5) Constant_Bake5501 wrote, “The real reason I couldn’t afford my motorcycle anymore and
had to sell it is because in my new city I didn’t have access to that mechanic I was sleeping
with before. Sorry, Dad.”
6) NcWatcher61 wrote, “Wife and I were swingers for a time. We went to a large weekend
party. At one point we see my parents checking in. Needless to say we made a quick exit.”
7) Antiunbra wrote:
“I draw furry kink smut for a living and make more than I would if I worked full-time retail.
“I’m my own boss, I work from home, and the clients are generally FAR kinder than when I
worked for firms as a designer.
“I just tell them I’m a freelance illustrator/graphic designer and ‘I’m working on’ posting my
work online.”68
69. “What’s A Family Secret You Found Out As An Adult That Completely Shocked
You?”
Ryguymcsly wrote:
“My uncle had essentially a secret family in the 60s. He was about to deploy to Vietnam; my
grandma was pretty racist. He met a nice Mexican lady on base, they got married, he knocked
her up. He went to Vietnam; she divorced him while he was gone because she couldn’t handle
the separation. He signed up for another tour of duty after that because he was heartbroken.
When he came back, she had remarried and been raising their kid with this new guy. Kid had
never known him, everyone seemed happy, so he walked away.
“Told NO ONE.
“Then in 2017 or so when he was in his 70s and was on his third (ok, actually fourth if you
count that secret one) marriage and his last adult child had moved out of the house, this
middle-aged Mexican lady shows up to his front door and is like, ‘Hey, I think you’re my dad.’
This happened during a family BBQ.
“My uncle looked at her for a minute and asked, ‘Maria?’
“She said, ‘That’s me.’
“He said, ‘Come on out back. Dogs are already on the grill.’
“So that’s how I met my much older cousin I didn’t know existed. Her mom and dad who
raised her had both died a couple years previously. Her mom, on her deathbed, literally said,
‘So your dad wasn’t actually the dude who made you.’ It took her a couple years to decide to
seek him out. Her only question was, ‘Why didn’t you ever come around?’ He just shrugged
and said, ‘Your mom told me not to, and you had a good family. Why would I ruin that?’

“She now lives next door to him.”69

70. “When Most Celebrities Die, So Many Nice Things Are Said About Them. But Who’s
A Celebrity That Died That No One Really Said Great Things About Afterwards?”
1) Slartibartfast39 wrote, “Pamela Lyndon Travers (P.L. Travers), author of Mary Poppins,
died in 1996 at age 96, and her grandchildren reportedly said, ‘She died loving no one and with
no one loving her.’”
2) PaulsRedditUsername wrote, “When Joan Crawford died, a reporter asked Bette Davis for a
quote. Davis replied, ‘One should say nothing but good of the dead. Joan Crawford is dead.
Good.’”
3) Throwaway03461 wrote, “OJ Simpson.”
EnamelKent commented, “It’s a tragedy he died before he could find the real killer.”
4) Borkdoo wrote:
“This is a niche answer but Mort Weisinger, the Superman editor at Marvel and DC during the
1950s and 60s. He was a notorious asshole and terror to pretty much every writer who worked
for him. Would call their ideas trash and then turn around and give them to other writers,
would try and pit people against one another. Jim Shooter was all of 13 or 14 when he first
wrote Legion of Super-Heroes and Mort would call him up every day to berate him about how
much he thought his work sucked I guess in some ill-conceived attempt to motivate him and
toughen him up. He was also infamously mean to waiters (as he was a legendary cheapskate)
and would treat them like shit to justify not tipping them.
“When he died, some of the people who went to his funeral said they did it only to verify that
he was actually dead.”
5) MadPat wrote:
“There is a story about Harry Cohn, the president of Columbia Pictures who was truly hated
with good reason by many in Hollywood. He was a mean SOB.
“At his funeral, there was a huge throng of people. Red Skelton saw this and said: ‘It proves
what Harry always said: Give the public what they want and they’ll come out for it.’”
6) nautilus)maximus1 wrote, “When Jerry Falwell died, some people said nice things about
him, but not Christopher Hitchens, who said, ‘If you gave him an enema, he could have been
buried in a matchbox.’”
7) Majestic-Angle-1095 wrote, “By his end, Truman Capote had alienated anyone and
everyone he was ever close to. When asked to comment, longtime rival Gore Vidal referred to
Capote’s death as ‘a brilliant career move.’”
8) Bravely_Default wrote, “Best quote I saw after Rush Limbaugh died was ‘Well, if I had to
say one positive thing about Rush Limbaugh, I’m glad he got to live long enough to get cancer
and die.’”
9) stringrandom write, “Anthony Bourdain said: ‘Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never
stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands.’”
10) jodaqua wrote, “Margaret Thatcher? I remember the song ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead’
charting at #2 in the UK after her death.”
CaptainFartHole commented, “I love what Frankie Boyle said about the cost of her funeral:
‘For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep
we could hand her over to Satan in person.’”
11)) Full_Razzmatazz_6746 wrote, “Anita Bryant [who was anti-gay rights).
LuxTheSarcastic commented, “My entire friend group and I are a fruit salad, so that one was
celebrated, I’m not going to lie.
12) melonhead4499 wrote, “I know of one celebrity / politician that when he dies there’s gonna
be a lot of people saying some not so great things.”
Scholarly_Koala commented, “They could charge a dime to piss on his grave and pay off the
national debt.”70
71. “What Do You Do For Your Significant Other Because They Like It But You Don’t
Necessarily Like Doing It?”
1) HibigimoFitz wrote, “I love her so much. She can’t tell a story: She adds in so much
unnecessary detail that it’s exhausting to listen to. But I stay engaged and keep myself
interested and ask questions and put in effort. At this point I know the whole soap opera of her
work and have my own impressions and jokes about people I’ve never known that she really
enjoys. Because she’s worth it. I’ll take every slightly long, overcomplicated story from her
over any incredible tale from someone else any day. She’s the best.”
2) doomlite wrote, “As someone who has been married longer than most people on this site
have been alive, this point becomes moot after a while; you both settle into what you do and
what she does. My wife hates trash and dishes and yard work. I do all that. I don’t pay any bills
or worry about money. I’ll do whatever she asks because when it comes down to it that how
we work. A million favors in each direction.”
Ilikeorwell commented, “‘A million favors in each direction.’ A great way of putting it.”
3) smaryjayne wrote, “Spending time with his family. They’re all wonderful people who love
each other very much. But there are so many of them and they get together so frequently. As an
introvert with imposter syndrome who grew up in an incredibly dysfunctional family, it is
absolutely exhausting and anxiety-inducing to spend major holidays with them.”
4) LiliVanSchtupp wrote, “I overcook chicken breasts for him. He likes them so dry they
‘squeak in his teeth like halloumi.’ Sigh.”
5) Math-yoo wrote, “I bring my wife coffee in bed daily. It’s been fifteen or more years. She
sleeps later than me. She doesn’t do this for me, I’m up early. I do it because relationships
require care, and this is a small thing I do. I do other stuff, but these things, the routine things
are what make it for me. I like making her coffee and singing the wake-up song to her.”
6) sib0cyy wrote:
“Spending time with their family.
Everyone is neurodivergent. It’s dysfunctional, everyone is always late. Everyone is divorced
with weird family dynamics one must be very careful about. The ASD level 3 nephew is
touching all the food we are about to eat with unwashed hands. SIL (ASD mom) will get
pissed at you if you correct their child. Conversations don’t make sense and unstimulating.
Life decisions like the newest scam they believe in (MLM, be rich quick, or medical — they’re
really gullible) no matter how much you try to make them see reason. It’s draining.”
7) Charming-Lilly wrote, “Many things because I want to see my partner happy. That makes
me happy in return.”
8) -DealingWithMorons- wrote, “Anything she wants. She does tons of stuff she doesn’t want
to do. It’s called being an adult.”71
72. “What’s One Thing (NSFW Or SFW) That You Will Take To The Grave, But Can
Tell Internet Strangers?”
SloppyToppyJallopy wrote:
“Father of multiple kids with my wife of 30 years. My wife believes her oldest daughter said
‘mama’ first (before saying ‘dada’). All of the others said ‘dada’ first. The truth is, she said
‘dada’ first when I was alone from her, but I secretly worked with her to say ‘mama.’ My wife
is so proud of the fact her daughter said ‘mama’ first. I will never, EVER, tell anyone this IRL
[in real life]. Taking it to my grave.

“For what it’s worth, I didn’t get her to say ‘dada’ first; she just said it to me one day.”72
73. “Married People Of Reddit Who Have Fetishes And Didn’t Tell Their Partner Until
After You Were Married, How Did It Go?”
1) Alli251 wrote, “Here’s the story … One day we’re driving around together (already married
8+ years and 2 kids), and I randomly asked him if he wanted to stop at an adult store together.
He almost gave us whiplash as he swung the car around so fast in his excitement. When we
went inside, I didn’t really have anything in mind that I wanted to buy. Just window shopping,
I guess. He cleverly steered me over to the section with the cuffs and restraints, and we chose
some items together. One of them was a deck of cards with kinky prompts, and we went
through pretty much every one of those cards in the next several months, as we ‘played’
together. He had never mentioned any of this being a turn-on for him previously, so it felt
organic, but later he told me he was just waiting for the right opportunity, and I had given it to
him in the guise of a trip to a chain adult store.”
2) Tez_zer55 wrote, “I was pretty vanilla when I met my wife. Already in my 50s & having
read “Penthouse Forum” when younger, I knew about kinky stuff, but I really didn’t KNOW!
Before I married my wife, she started introducing me to her kinks, light bondage, spankings &
other stuff. It took me a bit to get comfortable being dominant in the way she wanted, but here
we are!”
3) Round_Bee_3824 wrote, “To be honest, we are married for 30 years and all the kinks have
started happening after the kids moved out. Now the kinks are a regular part of our routine. It’s
been an awesome journey, to say the least. And it’s really drove our relationship closer.
Although I have to always be in the lead, she never disappoints me.”
4) Artistic_Ad_2897 wrote, “Not exactly what you are asking for, but I feel my 2 cents might
be valuable to someone reading this. Best dating advice I ever received was ‘try to scare them
off.’ If they can’t handle the real you, they are not the one for you. Too many people
compromise themselves to find ANYONE. This is a big reason why people divorce. I told my
boyfriend who I really was and what I really wanted in a relationship. I was ready to scare him
off. He didn’t run away. We have been married over 20 years. Together for almost 25. The only
way you find the right person is by being your authentic self.”73
74. “What Is Something Your Partner Asked You To Do That Surprised You, But Which
You Turned Out To Enjoy?”
1) Thepixeloutcast wrote, “My ex was a wonderful artist, and one day when I was in bed after
I’d come home from work, she set up all her paints and whatnot on her desk. I asked if she was
going to paint and she said, ‘No, you are.’ I painted for the first time since I was very little and
discovered a hidden talent and developed a deep love for art. Today I draw a lot with charcoal
and soft pastels and I paint with watercolours. I owe this entire hobby to her because I draw
and paint near enough every day now, and I don’t think I would have ever bothered to try it
myself.”
2) SomeGuyInSanJoseCa wrote:
“Snorkeling.
“I can’t swim that well. My body just sinks to the bottom. Yes, I took classes. Yes, I don’t
panic. I just sink. This was at a time when I could run like 10 miles and play full-court
basketball for 2 hours straight, so athleticism wasn’t a problem.
“One day, in Mexico, she says we can try it, and if you don’t like it, we can pack up and just
go. She explains that you can wear a life vest, and in fact, this place requires it.
“Holy shit, what a revelation. I had so much fun. I didn’t realize that life vests were an option.
This was at a nature reserve/theme park called Xel-Ha — which was completely safe and had
lifeguards. I had so much fun that we snorkeled the next day in the open ocean.”
3) splitinfinity wrote:
“Opposite. I asked her about getting a dog. She was very hesitant, scared. Got a dog. She was a
nervous mess for a few weeks.
“When he passed after 13 years, we figured we’d wait at least a year to get another. She made
it about 5 weeks and we were getting another.
“Now that our current dog is 8, she’s looking at getting a third to not have a break again when
he passes.”74
75. “What’s The Best Piece Of Sex Advice You Have To Share?”
1) neamhagusifreann wrote,, “Don’t take it too seriously. It’s meant to be fun. Relax.
Communicate. Laugh.”
2) eatmeat2016 wrote:
“LISTEN!
“Ignore advice that instructs you to follow specific patterns, pressures, angles, etc.
“EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.
“From experience of sex with women and men, I found you have to read every element of
body language. What’s said, not said, the responses to touch, where you’re encouraged either
verbally or physically. You should treat each new partner as a total unknown and pay close
attention to every cue.
“Do not repeat what you did with your ex just because they liked it.
“Do not do what you see in porn unless it’s an evolution of what you are doing and the signals
suggest it’s right.
“In return, don’t fake it. Don’t give off any cue that can be misinterpreted and if you like (or
don’t like) something, let them know.”
3) rabidmongoose15 wrote, “Take your time, and enthusiasm is wildly helpful.”
4) Albion-Chap wrote, “Consistency is more important than speed.”
5) Kingshaun530 wrote, “Always eat after. Sex on a full stomach isn’t a good time from my
experience. Lol.”
6) UnkleJrue wrote, “Preheat the oven to at least 350 before you put the meat in.”
7)Preciousjj21 wrote, ‘Have a relationship with the person.”75
76. “Which Habit Of Your Partner Do You Secretly Love?”
1) Signal_Panda2935 wrote, “One time I told my husband that he always sounded annoyed
when he answered the phone when I called. Ever since then he answers the phone, ‘Hello, my
darling, love of my life!’ in an exaggerated chipper tone and it still makes me laugh / smile
every time.”
2) heyuwannacuddle wrote, “I tend to get up earlier. If she is sleeping facing the wall, she’ll
roll over so she is facing me while I get dressed. She won’t open her eyes or act awake, but
every single time I’m getting dressed and she’s in bed, she’s facing me so if she did open her
eyes she’d see me. It’s such an unconscious movement I don’t think she’s aware of it, but it’s
like she’d rather see me than not see me.”
3) Slymeerkat33 wrote:
“He loves to understand and figure out the details of things and tell me about it. If we are
having a casual conversation about anything, he will do a deep dive on his phone right that
instant and give me interesting facts about the thing we are talking about. It can be about
literally anything.
“Ex: The other day I mentioned that male sea horses are the ones that carry babies during
pregnancy and we ended having a whole conversation about the interesting mating habits of a
variety of marine animals. It’s one of my favorite habits he has.”
4) PlutoUwU1237 wrote:
“Two things:
“I know she reads my Reddit comments sometimes (Hi), which is pretty cool. I like when she
goes on little tangents about what I’ve written or will jump into the conversation and say some
stuff of her own, and it’s always cool because it typically turns into a bigger conversation.
“The second is that I always know when she’s really enjoying whatever music she’s currently
listening to because her body will sway ever so slightly in time with it. I don’t think I’ve ever
pointed it out directly, but it’s super cute.”
Note: She responded with this comment:
Confused_OwletUwU commented: “You write cool things quite often. And no, you have not
mentioned the music thing. But you typically do the whole smiling-at-me thing when I listen to
music I am enjoying, so I can guess that’s why.”
5) surfingcherries wrote, “He spoils me with cuddles.”76
77. “Women Of Reddit, What’s Something A Man Has Done That Made You Think,
‘Wow, He Stands Out In A Really Great Way?’”
1) __ded wrote, “Reacting calmly to someone else being aggressive. In situations that could
have turned into unnecessary confrontation with others, even physical, it’s very valuable to
trust that someone is not gonna be easily provoked and will actually help deescalate a
situation.”
Help_im_lostt commented, “Someone who is levelheaded in the heat of the moment is
absolutely extremely rare.”
2) VerbJones wrote, “My boyfriend was at home, and I was at the university. Probably a 20-
min walk. I called him to say that I would be late to see him because I forgot my umbrella and
it was raining pretty hard, so I was going to wait till it died down a bit. Next thing I know, he
shows up, umbrella in hand. I felt like I was in a romcom.”
3) NoRegretCeptThatOne wrote:
“He noticed what I liked as we started hanging out, and then kept those things on hand at his
house.
“It’s like a magic drink / snack / movie / game portal every time I visit.”
4) Repulsive_Bagg wrote, “My now-husband got up at 7:30 am every day our last semester to
have breakfast in the cafeteria with me. He didn’t have class until 10. He doesn’t eat breakfast.
We weren’t even dating yet.”
5) clcountry wrote:
“When my now-husband and I had been dating a couple of months, it somehow came up that
the house I was renting didn’t have any carbon monoxide detectors. He didn’t like that, and
said he was going to get one and install it for me. I was like, ‘Okay, sure,’ and promptly forgot
about it. And then the next week (we lived about an hour and a half apart and saw each other
only on weekends) he showed up with two and installed them before we went to dinner. It
wasn’t just that he cared about my safety; it was that he said he was going to do something and
then did it at the first opportunity. I’ve had a fair number of people in my life who promise a
lot but never deliver, so the fact that he did, well, that meant a lot.
“A bit later, we were starting to get more serious, and he had gotten a new job after recently
being laid off. He was talking about his future and that he might sell his house and buy a new
one in a year or two, and I said, ‘Oh, what would you be looking for?’ He replied, ‘Well, if
we’re still together, hopefully we’d be ready to live together, so if you still have the same job,
something halfway between our current places so neither of us has a terrible commute. And I
figure you won’t want all of my WOW stuff displayed in the living room like it is now, so I’ll
need a man cave. And if I have a space that’s all mine like that, it’s only fair that you do too, so
there should be a room you can turn into a craft room or a library or whatever you want.’
“I was BLOWN AWAY. No one had ever shown me such consideration and thoughtfulness like
that, factored me into their plans without prompting and actually thinking about what I might
want. I told him I loved him for the first time two weeks later.
“And yes, our house has both a man cave for him and a library for me.”
6) spacesuspended wrote, “This was a coworker, not a romantic interest. But, he ordered me
flowers on behalf of the company for an event and had specifically instructed the florist to
make sure they were non-toxic to cats so I could take them home. Just him remembering that I
had a cat and putting two and two together in that way was way more thoughtful than most
dudes trying to date me ever were, really blew me away.”
7) Similar-Morning9768 wrote:
“I was 17, went out with a fake ID, and started talking to a considerably older guy. Naturally I
attributed his interest to my maturity, sophistication, and poise beyond my years.
“When he stepped away from me for a minute, another man — total stranger — approached
just long enough to tell me, ‘You’re obviously not old enough to be here. That guy you’re
talking to is not a good guy. You should go home. I’ll call you a cab if you need one.’
“The creep came back, and as soon as I started showing hesitation about him, he became
incredibly pushy, trying to get me to go somewhere alone with him. I insisted on getting a cab,
and he tried to get me to tell him my address ‘to tell the driver.’ I ducked him and got in the
cab.
“I’ll never know exactly what that stranger saved me from that night, but it wasn’t going to be
good. I don’t even remember his face, but I still think about him sometimes.”
8) OrcinusVienna wrote:
“I married my husband because he is the only man I have ever met who has ever apologized to
me and meant it. Not warped it into, ‘Sorry you feel that way’ or any BS like that. I can work
through any problem with him because he is not afraid to admit when he is wrong and we face
the problem together, not bash egos.
“I was not that way when we met, but he allowed me to learn to be vulnerable and apologize
when I am wrong.”
9) blaiseykins wrote, “From the first time we met in person and over 4 years later, he looks at
me like I’m the most precious thing in the world. No one has ever looked at me with such
wonder my entire life, and he takes such good care of me. The only time he’s made me cry was
last week when he surprised me with a photo album of our cat who’s been diagnosed with
cancer and has only a few months left to live. I love this man so much.”
10) Beginning_Paint7966 wrote:
“I went on a date with a guy and wasn’t feeling it romantically, so I let him know at the end of
the date. He took it so well that I genuinely thought he didn’t understand, so I explained again I
thought he was so great (I did!) but wasn’t interested in dating. He said he understood
completely and was happy to be friends. I was so used to men not being able to take rejection
and becoming insanely immature.
“Well, we’ve been together 9 years now and married for 4. He’s the best guy ever, and I’m
happy he was patient with me.”77
78. “What Is Something That Was Supposed To Be Sexy But Ended Up Being
Unintentionally Funny?”
1) QueensGambit36 wrote, “My wife walked into our bedroom and asked, ‘Do you want me to
blow your brains out?’ in her best sexy voice. It took her a minute to understand why I was
laughing so hard.”
2) pm_me_old_maps wrote, “Going in for a passionate kiss and clacking your teeth together.”
3) FunCoupke037 wrote, “One of the first times I watched porn with a girl, we ended up
muting it and trying to dub over their lines with what it looked like they were saying.”
4) Ligmartian wrote, “My very pregnant wife surprised me by lying on the bed naked and
positioned in a way she thought would look sexy. I came home from work, opened up the
bedroom door, and thought ‘that looks like a butterball turkey’ and started cackling. I wanted
to see her naked again, so I said nothing of it, and told her I was caught off guard.”
5) Livid_Parsnips6190 wrote:
“I’m a fan of the show King of the Hill, and so was my date. We had previously laughed about
the running joke of smooth jazz flugelhornist Chuck Mangione being the spokesman for a big-
box store.
“Anyway, I was going down on him, and he exclaimed out loud ‘FEELS SO GOOD!’ which is
the name of Chuck Mangione’s famous song/album. He meant this as a sincere expression of
pleasure and not a King of the Hill joke, but I started laughing so hard that I could not continue
with the blowjob.”78
79. “Which Traditionally Unattractive Person Do You Find Attractive?”
1) spiforever wrote, “Steve Buscemi. The more you know about him, the more attractive he
gets.”
OfficeChairHero commented, “He held a door for me once when my hands were full. It’s not
the most exciting story about him, but he was a gentleman that day.”
2) punninglinguist wrote, “I just want to point out that when the question is: ‘What ugly person
do you think is hot?’ the top answers are all men. When it’s ‘What hot person do you think is
ugly?’ the top answers are all women.”
Snarky_spice commented:
“Fellas, remember this the next time some alpha bro tries to tell you ‘80% of women are
attracted to 20% of men’ or some shit. Women love weirdness, unique looks, quirky guys, as
long as you own it and are kind and confident.
“Edit: Note how all the women commenting below [on AskReddit] are confirming what I said,
while the men are saying it isn’t true. Guess you guys just know better then.”
3) katspjamas13 wrote, “Alan Rickman. RIP.”
HammerOfJustice commented:
“There’s an Australian film critic named Margaret Pomeranz, who had a massive crush on
Alan Rickman. She would outright swoon when she was reviewing a film featuring Rickman
and once criticised a film for being unrealistic because the leading female character had a
choice between two men and picked the one not played by Rickman.
“When I heard Rickman died, I immediately thought, ‘Gee, I hope Margaret is ok,”
4) JessCeceSchmidtNick wrote, “I think John Oliver is super cute.”
OddlySpecificK commented:
“He AND Stephen Colbert. My eyes water a little when I think of how insecure they both were
as teenage boys when they show photos of themselves as awkward teens.

“Their brains are GORGEOUS.”79

80. “What’s Something Someone Once Did On A Date That Gave You Immediate ‘Nope’
Energy?”
1) AnnastasiaBloom wrote:
“I went on a date with a guy and it was great.
“Funny, handsome, great chemistry.
“And then while we were taking a walk because neither of us wanted the evening to end he
randomly punched a drunk guy walking past us minding his own business and laughed about
it.
“As if he thought I’d be impressed by random pointless violence against an innocent man.
“I had him drop me home and then I told him that I have no interest in seeing him again
because if he could hit a random guy when he’s in a good mood, what would he do to me if we
have an argument?”
Didicit commented:
“I had the opposite experience in a way. A girl I was dating was at my house when the
neighbor tried to open my door and then walked away. He was halfway across the lawn by the
time I opened the door and asked, ‘Yo, can I help you?’ to which he drunkenly replied
basically, ‘I thought that was my house. I’m drunk as fuck, dude. Hahaha, I’m going home
now. Sorry.’ I know the guy fairly well and let’s just say it was a believable story, so I just
nodded, wished him a good night, and closed the door. After that the girl, who had watched the
whole thing, said I was being a ‘beta male’ for not starting a fight with the guy.
“Goddamn caveman mentality.”
2) Mediocree-Catch9580 wrote, “She asked me to go to a wedding reception and she went and
sat down with another guy and their friends. I didn’t know anyone, so I just left her there.”
3) Appropriate_Sky_6571 wrote, “First of all, he lied about his pictures. It’s like he used
someone else’s photo. And after the horribly boring date ended, he pushed me against the wall
of the restaurant as we were leaving and forcibly kissed me. I’m a damn good sprinter, so I ran
away. He tried to chase me but couldn’t. He messaged me later that night telling me he loved
me. I reported him on the dating app.”
4) Ok-Somewhere911 wrote:
“Trapped a bumble bee under his beer glass and then exhaled cigarette smoke under it to
suffocate the poor creature.
“He’d been so nice until that point, charming and sweet and kind, very lovely with my dog, a
perfect gentleman with zero red flags showing. Then out of nowhere this random act of cruelty.
His response of ‘it’s only a bee’ when I knocked the glass away and let the poor thing out just
cemented my decision to grab my stuff and leave immediately.”
5) DeweyDefeatsYouMan wrote:
“Our first date was to see a stand-up comedy show and she was a participator. Like willingly
talking to the guy on stage and shit — I was so annoyed. And then she knocked her drink off
the table and shattered a glass. It was not good.
“She slept with me, though, so I decided to give her a second chance. We’ve been married nine
years, and we now have three kids.”
6) Usual_Simple_6228 wrote:
“She called me a dumbass and then punched me on the arm. Not in a jokey way, In a mean
way. I put down my now-spilled pint and just left.
“Another one. At a speed-dating event early 2000’s. She rapid fire asked me, ‘What kind of car
do you drive? How much do you earn? and Do you own your own home?’ before I even sat
down or introduced myself. Spoiler. I did not sit down or introduce myself.
“When talking to a different girl: She was complaining no one takes the time to get to know
anybody. Took her on a date, got one-word answers all night when she wasn’t buried in her
phone. After a quarter of an hour waiting for her to look up, I paid and left her sitting at the
table. For all I know she’s still there.”80
 Chapter 5: Questions 81-100
81. “What’s The Sexiest Thing Someone Has Ever Said To You?”
1) Reafia wrote:
“High school girlfriend. We dated for a month, but it never went anywhere. Until later in my
early twenties, we ended up hooking up.
“‘How does it feel to finally be inside of me?’
“Fifteen years later, that sentence still lives rent free in my head.”
2) all_monkey_bizz-13 wrote:
“He said, ‘That’s right, baby. Cum for me.’
“That just about did it.”
3) RedInAmerics wrote, “The first time I had sex with my wife, she whispered in my ear, ‘I’ve
been dreaming about this since the day we met.’ It had been 4 months of her beating me over
the head with hints until she finally just challenged me to ask her out. We didn’t make it thru
dinner before we were headed back to my place. She moved in 2 weeks later and we got
married 2 weeks ago Saturday.”
4) AsunderMango_Pt_Two wrote:
“‘I don’t think I can find anyone better after being with you.’
“It had me floating all day. :-)”
5) Howitzer1967 wrote, “I’d been flirting with a bartender at my local bar for a while. Nothing
overt, just both enjoying the undertones. I went in one night and said, ‘Can I get a Diet Coke
please?’ and she said, ‘You can have anything you want, anything,’ and looked me dead in the
eye. We ended up being married for a few years.”
6) GenevieveMonette, “A man moaning while fucking. Moan more often, guys.”
7) [deleted] wrote, “My wife telling me that when I suck her nipples, ‘It feels so hot, like
they’re wired to my clit.’”81
82. “What’s Something Incredibly Small Someone Did That Made Them Instantly More
Attractive To You?”
1) TRIGMILLION wrote, “Once I was sitting outside with a guy, and he saw this little beetle
bug on its back waving its legs in the air. He grabbed a leaf and put it right side up.”
loserpartner commented, “My fiancée did something super similar the first time I walked her
home before we started dating. It had rained earlier in the day, but the sun was out and it was
warm, and she saw an earthworm struggling to cross the sidewalk. She just picked it up and
put it on the grass where it looked like it was trying to go.”
2) Petite-Beauty_0 wrote, “He was carrying groceries into his apartment and stopped to help
an elderly neighbor pick up some mail she dropped. Just that tiny 30-second interaction
showed such genuine kindness. Been married to him for 3 years now.”
3) hoezonelayer wrote, “This actually just happened to me last week! On a 10-hour flight back
to the US, two empty seats between me and this Italian man who doesn’t speak any English.
After trying to get comfortable, we make eye contact and he motions for me to lie on the
empty seats between us. Trying to be polite, I declined but eventually I caved and laid down I
was so exhausted. My airline blanket was only big enough to cover my legs so I cross my arms
to keep warm. Italian man takes his blanket and drapes it over me. I wanted to cry. It was the
sweetest thing a stranger has done for me.”
4) CuriousVampireCat wrote:
“A year or so ago, we were with our friends and their kids at Dave and Buster’s. We obviously
played the games and had prize points/tickets for prizes. I was talking to our friends and didn’t
notice what was happening — my husband said, ‘I’m gonna get this for this kid.’
“In line was a mom and son who didn’t speak good English. The kid wanted a Pokémon or
something but didn’t have enough prize points. My husband just went ahead and swiped our
card for it. I fell head over heels again in that moment.
“We’ve been together 21 years, and moments like this remind me I married a good man.”
5) bexlyy_joyy wrote, “Someone once held the door open for me when I was juggling a bunch
of stuff, and then cracked a joke about it. It was such a small, thoughtful thing, but it made
them instantly more attractive. It’s the little gestures that count!”
Soft_animal commented:
“Conversely, I was at a bar having a beer with a couple of friends a few years ago. We were
sitting on opposite sides of a long table, and there was a door on the wall behind them that an
employee was trying to open with arms full of glasses and such. My friends could have easily
leaned back and reached the door handle without even getting up from their seats, but instead
they just stared at the employee, laughing at her plight. I got up to walk around the table to
help, but someone from another group jogged over and opened the door for her.
“I didn’t really hang out with those ‘friends’ after that day.”
6) KangarooSlight8970 wrote:
“He brought one of his dog’s toys over as a gift for my dog. She had died the year before and
he had a little area for her stuff still in his apt. She was his best friend.
“When I saw him pull it out, my heart sunk. My dog still loves that toy, keeps it in his bed. I
think about that gesture a lot and how much it meant to him and me.”
7) CarlJustCarl wrote:
“I went to a wedding with my then-girlfriend. I was on call that weekend so I did not drink, but
she had a few too many. I helped her in the passenger seat, I shut the door and get in the
driver’s seat. She says to me drunkenly, ‘You know what? We’re going to get married. I knew
you were the one since you first spoke to me. Okay?’ I said okay. Then we talked about my
nice shoulders. This was like our 6th date. The next time I talked to her, I hinted around if she
remembered the car ride home. ‘Did I complain about my job? Oh I’m so sorry, it must have
bored you.’ My shoulders and I did marry her about 2 years later.”
KWD commented, “Very happy for the four of you!”82
83. “Men, What Did You Find Out About Women When You Got A Girlfriend?”
1) Cranius_Maximus_ wrote, “If she asks if you want ice cream, she wants ice cream and
wants you to say yes so that she can get ice cream.”
2) BubbhaJesus wrote, “Their shirts button on the other side. This blew my mind.”
3) Fearless_Finding_217 wrote, “When you enter a relationship, you then somehow become
much more likeable to women.”
4) FullM3TaJacK3T wrote:
“How much hair they shed.
“How does a woman shed so much hair and yet have so much hair?”
5) Devonai wrote, “Having at least 1.5 bathrooms is indispensable.”
6) Weary-Caramel-479 wrote, “Often women just need to talk about their issues. Not looking
for a solution.”
7) TokiStark wrote, “They don’t stick those pads to themselves. It sticks to their underpants.
Mind blown.”
PopeJohnPeel commented, “I (a woman) gave a pad to a male coworker once who had a
hemorrhoid that wouldn’t stop bleeding. I was his manager and he’d told me he didn’t want to
go home but he was about to bleed through his pants. A few hours after I’d given it to him I
asked him how he was feeling. He said, ‘I’m okay. I wish this thing wasn’t ripping my ass hair
out though.’ Because this (getting your pubes ripped out by the adhesive) is a thing that
happens to women, too, I laughed and said, ‘Oh yeah, that sucks!’ Then another hour later I
realized what had happened and gave him another one and gently told him the sticky part goes
on his underwear. I felt absolutely terrible for having assumed he knew what to do.”
8) P1g-San wrote, “That they get super upset when you use their decorative towels and
pillows. :( ”
Brick_in_the_dbol commented:
“Also, do NOT use a thing called oat peptides to jerk it.
“Not worth the yelling. That TEENY bottle cost like $50?
“On the plus side, my nuts look like they are 20 again!”
9) Proper_Equivalent612 wrote, “You realize how much you learn about yourself through her.
Whether it’s how you react to situations, how much you value certain things, or even what you
really need in life.”
10) jojoga wrote:
“How much more toilet paper they are using.”
11) MBWill8809 wrote:
“Most women choose sleep clothes by comfort vs sex appeal. There’s a lot of loose pajama
pants, fuzzy socks, and oversized hoodies.
“The sheer, lace nighty you see women climb into bed on lots of TV shows and movies in isn’t
real life. Lol.”
Plaid_or_flannel commented, “My wife once told me she’d wear more of that TV-style sexy
sleepwear if it were warmer in the house.”
PLERoss commented, “My best friend wears a silky nighty every night! I’m more in the
oversized hoodies and fuzzy socks, but there are some who love the cute nighties!”
IdislikeSpiders commented, “My wife has that stuff, but says it’s just uncomfortable. She only
wears it to spark a mood from time to time. But with how long it takes her to get that stuff on,
she could just go birthday suit and it’s just as effective.”
11) hatred-shapped wrote, “That they in fact are not made from sugar and spice and everything
nice.”

Free_Association_812 commented, “The key ingredient is always Chemical X.”83

84. “What Is The Scariest Thing That Ever Happened To You?”
1) Bighawklittlehawk wrote:
“When I was 11, a friend and I were walking back home after going into town for snacks —
about a 3-mile walk. We got catcalled by grown men all the time. We would take bets on how
often it would happen. The most it happened in one trip to town was 13 times. Mind you, we
lived in a small, safe, midwestern town, not some big busy city. And we were just little kids.
No boobs, no butts, just regular little girls. It was disgusting.
“But this particular day, a truck full of guys in their 20s or so drove by us. They whistled. They
whooped. They hung out of the truck windows and made disgusting gestures. We ignored
them, as we always did. But then they drove by us again. And again. They were trying to get
us to get in their truck with them. For the entire walk home, they’d drive by, make gross
gestures, blow kisses, and try to wave us closer.
“Finally we got to the side of my yard and ducked in through some bushes. We thought we lost
them, but then they came back again. We were home alone, and now they knew where I lived.
So I did the only thing I could think of.
“I marched into my garage, got my BB gun off the wall, and marched back to the road. I
waited and waited, thinking maybe they had left for good, but sure enough, here came the
truck again. I lifted my BB gun — which looked like a regular rifle — to my shoulder and
pointed it at them, following them as they passed by. Their faces dropped, and they sped off.
“My friend and I ran into the house and spied out the window for hours. They never came
back.
“We were SO scared.”
Rainbow_in_the_sky wrote:
“Sounds similar to my experience but I was in my 20s. I was walking my dog when a male
stranger tried to make small talk with me. I made small talk back about my dog. He asked me
for my name and I told him that I’m going to leave now. He responded by calling me, ‘Bitch.’ I
ignored him and walked the way he came from. Then he started following me.
“I started running and he followed us and ran, too. I was freaked out and looked for any house
that looked occupied. Eventually, I ran up to a random door and banged on it. Luckily, a
woman answered, and I explained that I was being followed by a stranger. At this time, he
stood across the street and just stared at the house. He stayed there for about 30 mins and
eventually left. The woman was so nice to calm me down. The woman’s husband returned
home and after waiting another 15 mins, he drove me home. Still can’t believe that happened
on a sunny day in the afternoon on a weekend.”
2) Mazikeen369 wrote:
“When I was 10, my younger brother and I were home alone. Somebody started breaking into
the house. Told my brother where to go hide. As we were running upstairs, I split from my
brother to go into my parents’ room, set off the alarm from their keypad, grabbed the phone off
the base, grabbed my dad’s gun, and ran to get to my brother.
“Up till then I had been shooting with my dad for years and was really comfortable handling
all types of guns and knew the potential for destruction, but never really thought about having
to shoot at a person. I knew in a heartbeat hiding with my brother holding my dad’s gun that I
was going to kill whoever comes.
“Thankfully the alarm scared off whoever was trying to break in, but no kid should have that
thought. Nobody should have that thought.”84
85. “Women, What Did You Find Out About Men When You Got A Boyfriend?”
1) cherry-bomb25 wrote:
“They’re actually so soft when they feel safe.
“Once that armor comes down? Affectionate, goofy, sometimes clingy little golden retrievers.
10/10 would snuggle again.”
No_Atomsphere8146 commented, “We used to be little boys until someone told us to stop.”
2) stacibaby wrote, “Balls can do weird things, like shift and move a lot.”
3) GeneralEffective wrote, “They [boyfriends] give off so much heat, it’s like having your own
human radiator.”
Romnonaldo commented, “I’m convinced my body heat is 80% the reason my wife married
me.”
4) Serious_Historian_72 wrote, “They overthink, too, and need reassurance, too; they want to
be taken care of, too.”
5) TeineCrusader27 wrote, “I’ll tell my husband a secret or something I’m not supposed to tell
anyone. I know he won’t say anything because he’ll forget all about it!”
6) Decent_Criticism9772 wrote, “Sometimes they really do just be thinking about nothing.”
MilllorTime commented, “I think, just as often, the thoughts are too dumb or convoluted to
explain without sounding insane. If I’m 5 tangents deep about something, nothing is the easier
response.”
7) Madea_onFire wrote:
“They would rather break both of their arms than bring the groceries in multiple trips.
“I have no complaints. I’m just concerned sometimes.”
8) choppypigeon01 wrote, “That they will sit on the juiciest piece of gossip but when you ask
for details they know NOTHING. What do you mean! You didn’t ask every single little
detail!”
9) Unusual-Hippo-1443 wrote, “If I just want to vent, I should preface my venting by letting
them know I am not asking for a solution.”
10) Mean-Impress2103 wrote, “How strong they are. I knew men were stronger on average
than women, but I didn’t really understand how big the gap was until I met my now-husband.”
11) Unbeeknownst wrote, “How sassy they can be when they get comfortable with you; it
really is like having a best friend.”85
86. “To The Ones That Have Cheated While In A Relationship, How Are You Currently
Feeling? Was It Worth It?”
1) Icameforthenachos wrote, “Hold on, let me forward this to my ex-wife.”
Slash_networkboy commented:
“I don’t even need to do that… my ex-wife has our daughter on her Amazon account… my
daughter’s Kindle decided to show some new purchases a few years ago, among them: How to
Win Back Your Ex. LMFAO!
“There is ZERO chance of that book doing anything positive for her (though it did give me a
hearty chortle when my daughter showed me).”
2) EntertainerMajor3294 wrote, “It wasn’t fucking worth it at all. The pain I caused still fucks
with me. They didn’t deserve it. I was selfish and people got hurt.”
3) Tammy21212 wrote, “It was not worth it. I still kick myself 5 years later for hurting
someone I loved.”
4) WillCommentAndPost wrote, “It ruined my marriage and ruined my ex-wife’s self-esteem;
it’s without a doubt the biggest regret of my life. I think about it every day, and honestly if I
could take it back and just be a better man, I would.”
5) HotDogStruttnFloozy wrore:
“I still feel pretty sick about it and I doubt that will ever change, and it’s been 5 years.
“Long story short, I cheated on my ex with an ex. The reasons aren’t relevant, as far as I’m
concerned. I realized what I was doing was terrible and put a stop to it. I told my then current
partner (the one that I cheated on) about the infidelity and basically crawled back to her
begging for forgiveness.
“I hurt multiple people due to a few moments of weakness. We tried to make it work for
another year or so (I stayed faithful), but it didn’t work out. She told me she couldn’t get over
it, which was understandable, and we parted ways.
“I left quite the trail of destruction in my wake; it makes me want to throw up. I can’t even
fathom how the other people feel.”
6) Rilenaveen wrote:
“OP [Original Poster], you are not getting the full story by posting this question. I see most of
the cheaters feel guilty and ashamed (good). You know whom you aren’t hearing from? The
ones who don’t feel that way. And trust me, they are out there.
I’ve known several people who were cheaters (my ex-wife included), and guess what? They
aren’t eaten up by shame or guilt. They continued to live their life selfishly. More often than
not, they never learn.”86
87. “What’s A Secret You Found Out That You Were 100% Not Supposed To Know?”
1) Raider_Scum wrote:
“My dad killed his best friend in a DUI when he was 22. My dad spent years in a wheelchair,
time in prison. He turned his whole life around before I was born, 30 years of sobriety, 20+
gallons of blood donated, counted [countless?] acts of selflessness.
“But I was never supposed to know. He became a different person before I was born. But he
told my mom once, while having a breakdown in his 30s. Then Mom told my brother because
my brother was driving drunk. Then my brother told me.
“I still pretend I don’t know. My dad deserves the life he has built now; he tries to be a good
person every day. I wish I didn’t know; it lives in the back of my mind.”
TransportationAway59 wrote, “If anything, you should be GLAD you know. Your dad is WAY
more inspiring this way! The amount of adversity that man overcame is insane! Plus it shows
you firsthand that you have the power to change yourself and your life no matter bad it gets.”
2) HumpieDouglas wrote:
“The truth of how my Nana died.
“She died when I was about 10. The only thing I knew was that she was found in the
bathroom. I never questioned it my entire life. People die and are found in the bathroom all the
time. I figured maybe she slipped and fell or had a heart attack.
“Decades later I was having dinner with my younger sister, and for some reason she felt it
necessary to tell me what she found out from my mother. My Nana had severe osteoporosis
and was in severe pain all the time. One day she decided she had had enough. She filled the tub
with water, took all her pain meds, slipped under the water, and drowned herself.
“I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that. I still don’t know why my sister
felt the need to tell me.”
3) Tryc3ratop5 wrote, “That the pictures of me in the hospital as a newborn were staged. Not
joking. I was an induced birth (bio dad sucks and had my mom’s blood pressure so high they
[hospital personnel?] were worried about it killing me and my mom) and told my mom the day
before, ‘Get here at 8 am tomorrow, we’ll have a bed for you and you’re having your kid, so
call who you need to call.’ Almost 24 hours’ notice that I was coming. Grandparents lived 2
hours away. I was born at exactly 4:32 pm. Grandparents showed up about a half hour AFTER
I was already born. They were so embarrassed about this (in a ‘no one can know’ kind of way)
that they asked the doctor to stage things for photos like they were there for it. INCLUDING
HOLDING MY ALREADY CUT UMBILICAL CORD ON MY STOMACH SO IT
LOOKED LIKE IT WAS BEING CUT INSTEAD OF THE ALMOST HALF HOUR
BEFORE THAT IT ACTUALLY WAS. Still will never understand why the doctor actually
went along with it, and they accidentally overdosed my mom on the pain meds they had her on
so she was almost unconscious and couldn’t object. I found this out after my grandparents said
they couldn’t attend an award ceremony for me regarding getting a scholarship for violin, and
my mom went on a rant about how they’ll miss that, but would drive down to Tennessee from
Michigan for my little cousin’s random golf tournament. They said, ‘Oh, that’s just not true,
we show up for everything” and she screamed back, ‘YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE FOR
MY DAUGHTER’S BIRTH AND MADE THE DOCTOR STAGE PHOTOS SO IT WOULD
LOOK LIKE YOU WERE.’ I honestly find it hilarious purely because wtf who DOES that.
Lmao.”87
88. “What Has Been The Biggest Turn On A Person Has Told You While Having Sex?”
1) haeziedaze82 wrote:
“My husband was fucking me one time and I finished and he goes, ‘Oh, are you done?’ …
pauses for a bit, and then goes, ‘No, you’re not done!’ Then commenced to pounding. Too bad
I had already cum because I for sure would’ve cum again at him saying that if given just like 5
more minutes.
“I think about it a lot. I should probably let him know how much that turned me on, to be
honest.”
2) diddydidit333 wrote, “He was about to go down on me. Pulled my panties to the side and
sighed. ‘Is there anything about you that isn’t perfect?’ Nothing ever will top that.”
3) Obvious_Fix2-65 wrote, “The sound of their moans as they shudder and try to speak. That’s
honestly the best thing ever.”
4) GothiccMommyx wrote, “Just the enthusiasm. It says everything and gets me crazy.”
5) tdasnowman wrote, “She said nothing at all. I came out the shower. She was waiting, pushed
me back onto the bed, mounted herself, and just took me. This was a big flip since she
preferred to be submissive to the point I often called her aggressively submissive. I came so
hard it was almost painful.”
6) hatred-shapped wrote, “When they start speaking in their native language because they
temporarily forgot English.”
7) curiiouskittyclub wrote, “I used to be super self-conscious about my post-baby stretchmarks.
Post-divorce dating was rough, but one guy discovered them on his way down and paused and
I panicked, but he just gave them a kiss and I basically came right there. It was so sexy.”
Puzzled-Finger9726 commented, “There’s nothing like someone adoring one of your biggest
insecurities.”
8) hey_its_meagain wrote, “I recently said to my partner, ‘I love your body,’ and he replied,
‘It’s all yours.’ I don’t know why, but that was so sexy. Hahaha.”
9) Sea-Branch1446 wrote, “My ex was fucking me and said, ‘Never in a million years.’ I asked
what he meant by that mid ride and he said, ‘Never in a million years did I ever imagine I’d get
to fuck you in the backseat of my truck after a day at the beach.’ It was so hot to feel so
wanted.”

10) Mysterious_Spring907 wrote, “‘You’re so pretty when you cum’ turned me on so much.”88
89. “What Do You Wish That People Would Stop Romanticizing Because You’ve Lived
The Reality Of It?”
1) Bionic_Ninjas wrote:
“What a lot of people would call ‘romantic persistence,’ the idea that if you just keep chipping
away at someone, asking them out, making grand romantic gestures, wearing them down,
they’ll eventually be won over by the sheer dedication of your desire.
“There’s a person in my life now who’s like that, and it is exhausting, infuriating. and
unsettling, sometimes in turns and sometimes all at once.
“Take no for an answer, whether you’re a man or a woman. It’s not cute, it’s not romantic, it’s
just shitty, juvenile behavior. Eighties’ teen rom coms should not be your guide to how to live
life.”
2) Black_cat_x wrote, “‘Fixing’ the bad boy. If only people knew how nice, comfortable, and
safe it is to go for the good guys instead.”
3) inviolablegirl wrote, “Disabled family members. It’s not fulfilling or noble; it sucks. It’s
destroyed family relationships and harvested resent and worry.”
Angrymurderhornet commented:
“Ohhhh, yeah. A relative with significant physical disabilities lived with us when I was a kid.
That was long before the ADA [Americans with Disabilities Act], so although he was an
intellectually curious and somewhat extroverted man, much of the world was inaccessible to
him. So he was understandably often very angry.
“The whole family story is long and complicated, so let’s just say that my childhood
experiences left me ferociously pro-disability rights. And I’m equally ferocious about people
getting their kids vaccinated; my relative’s disability resulted from a disease that wasn’t yet
vaccine-preventable when he was a kid.”
4) ElehTheFirst wrote:
“Being disabled. Because how the disabled people are treated in movies is not at all the way
we are treated in reality. My cousin invited me on a trip of a lifetime… And I reminded her
that there’s really no way for me to be mobile there. There are stairs everywhere, and I can
barely use the 12 steps I have in my house. Transportation Security Administration [TSA] once
broke one cane and I just hear horror stories about what they do to walkers and wheelchairs. So
as much as I would love to go on this amazing European tour, I just know that I am not going
to be able to do it.
“They never show the part in the movies where the person is stuck at the bottom of the stairs
while everyone they’re with goes and sees the amazing landmark. They never show how they
get up and down the stairs if the elevators broken and there aren’t a bunch of big burly men to
carry them in their wheelchair up the stairs because that doesn’t actually happen
“They never show what happens when the person with the disability is in so much pain that
they can’t even get out of bed to go on the sightseeing tour even though they were fine the
night before. They don’t show how the disabled person was able to walk into the store but then
dislocated a joint and can’t walk back out.
“I never thought disabled was going to be fun, but I didn’t realize how much I was legitimately
going to have to give up.”
5) IndyAnnaDollyNana wrote:
“Babies. You are never prepared.
“Look at any first-time, thrilled-to-be pregnant mother-to-be with her starry eyes and ‘babies
are sooo cute’ talk and listen to all her plans for after the baby is born ‘when the pregnancy is
over and everything will be so much easier,’ compared to same woman two months after the
birth.
“Just offering to hold the baby while she has a shower will get you the same gratitude usually
reserved for kidney donors.”89
90. “What Surprised You The Most About Your First Sexual Experience?”
1) BlueLidMilk wrote:
“When my girlfriend at the time told me she wanted to try sex for the first time, I got
overexcited on my way to buy condoms and crashed my motorbike. Injured myself so bad we
couldn’t have the sex.
“When we finally could do the deed, I lasted 3 thrusts. Lmfao. We’re married now.”
Princess_pumpkins wrote, “You weren’t being safe on your journey to be safe.”
2) Chaos_HonchKrow wrote, “How nervous we both were before and how romantic it actually
felt during and afterwards. I really do hope people’s first time was as pleasant as mine was.”
3) uninterestedframer wrote:
“I did not have the right motion the first time I did the missionary position.
“Instead of thrusting, I started doing pushups.
“After 15 odd reps, my chest and triceps were burning, and I was genuinely questioning how
people do this for an hour.”
4) Medium-Cup9590 wrote, “The fact that I managed to get to that situation.”
5) Lopsided_Bank7069 wrote, “How I didn’t really feel that different the next day. I waited
awhile to have sex and thought I would feel different, but by the next day, it wasn’t that big of
a deal.”
6) Marler1705 wrote, “How warm it was in there.”
7) geminifragment wrote, “I never thought that having my breasts touched and kissed would
feel so amazing.”
8) ParticularBrush8162 wrote, “How much I wanted to do it again. I always heard from
Hollywood that sex is what men want and women do to get what they want. Not me.”
9) Substantiall-Box-4523 wrote, “How awkwardly human it was. Movies make it look
choreographed and flawless, but in reality, it’s nervous laughs, missed cues, and the beautiful
chaos of figuring it out together.”
10) Parish87 wrote, “That I didn’t cum at all. I was expecting it to be over in 30 seconds but
instead it just went on and on and we called it a day. I think it took me until like my 3rd time
for me to finish, and that was like 30 seconds. Lol.”
11) marcusthegladiator wrote, “How sore my leg muscles were the next day.”
12) Dilauara wrote, “I was so worried that it would hurt that when it happened and there was
no pain at all, it was a huge surprise.”90
91. “What’s Something That’s Not Considered Sexual, But It’s Hot As Hell?”
1) CatStratford wrote, “I went back to school in my 30’s. It was a big deal … long story. My
husband, without missing a beat, bought the university logo sweatshirt when I was in my first
year, and he has been wearing it regularly since. It’s so faded and beat up now, but he still
wears it proudly. It’s just quietly emblematic of his constant support of me. He is passionately
supportive of my goals and efforts, always. It just hits on a whole ’nother level.”
2) ThAtGuY-101 wrote, “Silliness. A person who doesn’t take themselves too seriously. A
good balance. Serious when the situation calls for it and fun when it doesn’t.”
3) khymbote wrote, “My wife says seeing me cleaning or doing laundry. I think it’s just a ploy,
though.”
4) GraveyardDoc wrote, “Intelligence.”
5) KeyYoghurt1966 wrote, “When my husband is feeding all the wildlife in our back yard, so I
can feel like Snow White. Opening my drinks as he hands them to me. Opening my car door,
helping me with my coat. I don’t NEED any of it, but I LIVE for it.”
6) regalpublishing wrote, “Confidence. Not arrogance, just a calm self-assuredness.”
7) Pleasant_Scar9811 wrote, “Animals liking the person. When the cats and dogs flock to her
when she comes home … aaaaahhhhh.”
CatStratford commented:
“This is my husband. He’s introverted and quiet, but dogs go crazy over him. They all just fall
in love with him. We recently adopted a 5-year-old rescue pup that doesn’t typically trust men.
But she adores him… I mean, I don’t exist if he’s in the room! She can’t take her eyes off him
or stop smiling. It’s really sweet.
“Cats and kids, too. They all love him. I remember when he and I first met, I saw how children
and animals innately trusted him and felt comfortable, and I knew he was a good soul.”
8) kay_tee_tee wrote, “Watching a man teach a kid something and being patient as hell the
whole time. Doesn’t matter what. Riding a bike, sounding out letters, behaving in public, but
being super patient and calm about it.”
9) Chunky_Potatoe802 wrote, “A man who is not a hot head and is cool under pressure.”
10) Impoossible_Ice_165 write, “A man while cooking.”
TheBurgTheWord commented, “My husband cooks and when he does, he starts singing. Lord
help me.”
11) MFoy wrote, “A woman putting her hair up in a ponytail.”
Antokythera3301 wrote, “Oh man, when my girlfriend and I were on our second date, I was in
the middle of telling a story and she started putting her hair back in a ponytail and my brain
just shut off and I stopped talking mid-sentence. I don’t know what it was, but in that moment
she looked so beautiful to me and I was completely distracted … it took me a few seconds to
compose myself and continue my story.”
12) Gingerof the Year wrote:
“Professionally dressed women, in their 30’s-40’s in an airport walking with purpose. Bonus
points for nice luggage.
“Yeah I know. Judge me.
“Edit: To everyone making the assumption that this fictional woman is in high heels, short
skirts, or slutty librarian glasses, no. My fictional woman has a job, takes it seriously, and isn’t
dressing up for us. Is she attractive? Yes. Is she a porn star? No.”91
92. “For Those Who Have Abandoned Kids, What Genuinely Was Your Reasoning?”
Not-sure-wtf-I-am wrote:
“I want to preface that this is not my story and I am being purposefully ambiguous about that
person’s identity.
“I know someone who did give a newborn to an adoption agency. She was 21, had just moved
to a new country, was unmarried, alone, didn’t know who the father was, came from a very
religious background, was terrified of what her family would say/do/think, was afraid she
wouldn’t be able to get a job or get married if she had a child, and had absolutely no ability at
that age and status to raise the child.
“I see a handful of people in the comments talking about wanting to know the reason for why
their parents gave them up and I obviously can’t pretend to defend everyone, but sometimes
the answer is a legitimate and heartbreaking sacrifice from the parent because they are aware
of their inability and want a better home for the child.”
Quiet-Following1230 commented, “I appreciate this story. I asked the question from the
perspective of still being with one of my biological parents while the other left me around age
9. I have much more sympathy towards adoption and feeling you won’t be a good parent or
aren’t prepared to be one rather than my situation.”92
93. “What’s A Completely Harmless Secret That You Keep From Your Partner?”
1) dannyrac wrote, “I send the elevator to the lobby right before she gets home from work and
she thinks she’s lucky every time.”
2) TeasePeach_ wrote, “She gets really happy when the cat hides a toy in her bag, so I sneak
one in for her to find when she’s having a bad day.”
3) the_uncola_nut wrote, “When I run to the store to grab some groceries, I’ll ask him what he
wants. He has this expensive cereal he likes and snack bars. He ask me to pick some up if
they’re on sale. Sometimes I’ll buy them at full price because he deserves nice things.”
4) TweedleBeetjleBattle wrote, “My husband travels for work a lot and we have a baby, so
many of his firsts are conveniently when Dad’s home to see.”
5) sisigenjoyerz wrote:
“First marriage to my late wife, on the day of the wedding, the ring got stolen out of my car. I
was freaking out. My two best men went into overdrive and took a picture I had of the ring and
went to I don’t know how many jewelry stores explaining what had happened and if they had a
ring that was similar.
“They went to this really great jewelry maker who said, ‘I have something that is really close;
give me a bit and I can make it perfect.’
“He worked his ass off and got it done with about an hour to spare, plus they managed to get
my window fixed.
“The three of us are the only ones who know. I ended up using that jewelry maker for any
jewelry I needed.
“He ended up telling my best men to not worry about the price and for me to come down after
the honeymoon to work it out. I did and he gave it to me at the cost of the materials. He is a
great guy. He retired during COVID.”
6) GodfatherALT wrote:
“I have terrible memory, so I have a notes file on my phone where I go writing down all of the
small details about her that she tells me or I find out. It is extremely organized, how she orders
her food or drinks in restaurants, places she wants to visit, movies she wants to see, bands or
concerts she is interested in, her favorite colors or characters, just about anything really. Even
future gift ideas, important dates, or date ideas (picnic date, theater date) she mentions with
interest. I know that she is very happy whenever she goes, ‘Aww, you remembered.’
“Also, we love dogs, we have a dog. She loves cats, but cats make me sneeze. We have a cat. I
have antihistaminics. She doesn´t know I pop antihistaminics like Dr. House popped vicodin.”
7) mannatee96 wrote:
“Husband thinks he surprised me with a big gift.
“It was delivered when I was home alone in the manufacture’s box, so it was obvious what was
inside. I asked my neighbor to keep it for a few hours and to ‘deliver’ it again when he got
home. He was so excited when he answered the door, wrapped it up and everything. This was
5+ years ago; he still thinks he surprised me!”
8) jilliancad wrote, “I pretend I’m asleep when he leaves for work. He always gives me a
gentle kiss on the forehead before he leaves when he thinks I’m sleeping still.”
9) MidniteOG wrote, “She planted tomato seeds in the garden and then went home for a
month. I did what I could, but they never grew. So I went to the store and bought some plants
and planted them, as if I had taken care of them the entire time.”
10) headhunterofhell2 wrote:
“About 3 out of 4 nights, I get up and go sleep on the guest bed once she’s asleep.
“She thinks it’s because of my PTSD, which is partially true…
“But the truth is: She snores like a yak drowning in yogurt.
“EDIT: Since people keep bringing it up in the comments, a few additional details: Yes, she
knows she snores. She doesn’t realize how bad. Yes, she has seen a doctor about it. No, she
does not have apnea.”
11) nakajimashisae wrote, “I sometimes watch his YouTube videos (gameplay, guitar covers,
and anime music videos) on loop just to boost the views.”
12) Kalistoga wrote, “I always get a hot dog when I go to Costco solo, but when I get home, I
pretend I haven’t eaten yet.”
13) Hot-Cup-6700 wrote:
“I’ve learned that when I oversleep or forget to set my morning alarm, that my girlfriend
(soon-to-be fiancée) will always respond the same way, by giving me a few extra minutes to
sleep, and then coming over and kissing my forehead to wake me up. So now, on the days
where I wake up before my alarm, I’ll purposely turn my alarm off and pretend to go back to
sleep. I get to lay in bed for a few extra minutes, and I get a forehead kiss.

“I will keep her from this secret at all costs.”93

94. “What Happened To The First Person You Thought You Were Going To Marry?”
1) DarkSansa1124 wrote, “I did end up getting married to him! And not one day goes by where
I’m not grateful for this happy peaceful married life. I didn’t think marriages could be happy
and peaceful but goddamn he proved me wrong!”
2) [deleted] wrote:
“I met my ex-partner when I was 16, and I thought I would for sure marry him. We relocated to
another city for his work when I was 24. We were both earning similar wages. For 2 years I
carried the load in organising our social life, maintaining relationships in our hometown on
behalf of us both, doing the housework, looking after our dogs and initiating intimacy (and not
succeeding). In this time, he did very little and I got very little from the relationship. I
repeatedly communicated my needs, and he put in effort for about 3 days each time before he
returned to his usual habits and dismissed whatever I felt. I was so unhappy, so I split up with
him after doing mental gymnastics for almost a year.
“My partner now is so different. He is emotionally supportive and we are teammates in every
sense of the word. We share the mental load, chores, care for our household, putting effort into
friends and family, etc. We’re getting married next year, and I feel so lucky!
“I’m proud of 27-year-old me for making that brave decision all those years ago. While a lot of
my friends were leaning into marriage and parenthood, I left my long-term relationship
because I knew that I deserved and wanted better for myself.”
3) chiropteranmirror wrote, “He broke up with me suddenly just as we had the offer on the
second house we went for accepted. No tangible reason, really confusing. The only thing I
know is there isn’t another person in the picture. He just didn’t love me anymore. Feels like a
betrayal, but also if he’d felt like that for a long time, the lack of communication and honesty
feels jarring. Like we had intimacy under false pretenses. Hurts like hell.”
4) razanmao wrote, “I have no idea. We lost touch so many years ago.”
5) question_girl617 wrote:
“I broke up with him on the day we were supposed to go engagement ring shopping. It was
time to call it and for us to move forward in our lives. No ill-will, just different life paths.
“We’re each married now with baby girls, and I think life has gone as it meant. I couldn’t
imagine doing life with anybody but my husband, so that decision back in 2020 brought me to
my soulmate.”
6) Miss-Katzenberg wrote:
“I’ve never had a relationship that made me think that way. In fact, I had only two, and they
ended before the thought even crossed my mind.
“The first person I daydreamed about marrying, though, ended up marrying my best friend.”
7) Yagirlvicc wrote, “I married him! High school sweethearts, together for 14 years, married
since December.”
8) SleepPrincess wrote:
“The first person I wanted to marry was a crush from high school. We literally never went on a
single date.
“However, I absolutely thought I was going to marry my husband the moment I met him. And
I did!”94
95. “Men: What’s A ‘Cheat Code’ You Discovered In Marriage That Actually Works?”
1) Pomegranate_Calm wrote:
“Verbally acknowledging each other’s contributions to the household:
“‘Thanks for cleaning up after dinner; it looks great.’
“‘Thanks for taking the kids to soccer practice.
“‘Thanks for grabbing groceries. This is my favorite cheese.’
“So on and so forth. By acknowledging each other’s day-to-day (and sometimes mundane)
contributions, it builds appreciation and prevents animosity. It also prevents certain tasks from
being ‘assigned’ to a person with the expectation that it’s theirs forever and that’s ‘just how it
is.’”
Harswv wrote, “I try to do this a lot and my husband often doesn’t have a big response, but
when I told him the other day, ‘Wow! You really do a great job mowing the lines in the grass!
They are so straight and neat — it looks like a professional did it!’ he started grinning.
Sometimes, it’s the little things that mean so much.”
2) smisakso wrote, “Relationships aren’t a zero-sum game; the only way to win is when you
win together so approach all disagreements with that approach.”
3) mostlycareful wrote:
“When I feel like my wife is feeling a little down or when I feel like we’re not connecting
emotionally, I will ask her about something she is passionate about and just get her talking.
And I will ask questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no. She will go from sitting
back with her arms folded to leaning forward, talking excitedly.
“Often, people feel closer to someone simply by talking to that person and being heard. And
everyone feels good talking about their favorite things.
“Also, if you have something difficult to talk about, wait until they are in a good mood.”
4) Easywood wrote, “If your wife asks you if you want ice cream, she wants ice cream. Feel
free to replace ‘ice cream’ with anything.”
5) vfettke wrote:
“Keep a note on your phone for gift ideas. When she points out something she likes or wants to
do, write it down in the note or snap a pic and insert it. See something you think she’d like?
Write it down. Also, keep her clothing and shoe sizes in the note as well.
“Also, google ‘mental load’ and learn about the imbalances that tend to occur. Take more of it
on.”
6) keggerson wrote:
1. You and your partner are a team that are working to solve your issues together.
It’s you two vs the issue and never you vs your partner.
2. Hardly a cheat code, but communication is the key.
7) neighborPromotion82 wrote, “Never stop ‘dating’ your wife. Kiss often.”
8) kmagfy001 wrote:
“Not me but my brother said he finds a lot of success by doing things around the house before
she can even ask. Lol.
“She’ll be like, ‘Can you take out the trash?’ Him: ‘Already did it.’
“He used to do this to my mom when we were younger, too.”
Secret-Weakness-8262 wrote, “This was my advice to my teenage boy next-door neighbor. He
wanted to go to a party that weekend and was going to ask his mom. I said, ‘Nope. Just go in
and do the dishes. Ask her if anything else needs done. Then go to bed. Ask her tomorrow.’ He
got to go!”95
96. “Hospice/Hospital Workers Of Reddit: What Is The Strangest Or Most
Unexplainable Thing You Have Seen A Person Experience When They Are Close To
Death?”
1) Maniacboy888 wrote, “I worked hospice for a while. One of my patients was completely
removed mentally and had been non-verbal for about 4 months. The night he passed he looked
at his wife and began to sing their wedding song. I believe it to be terminal lucidity. He looked
at her while singing and with tears in his eyes he said that he always loved her. He then closed
his eyes and passed away as his wife finished the song.”
TheManInTheShack commented, “My mom’s hospice nurse told me that the longer you spend
in the profession, the more you see that terminal lucidity is a very real thing.”
2) Infamous_Feeling)545 wrote, “I work in prehospital emergency care and one day I went to
this elderly woman in a nursing home. The reason we were called was because the staff
thought she was having seizures. When I walked into her room, I was greeted by a lovely
woman who sat upright in her chair looking very well. Throughout my assessment, she was
laughing and joking with me, and her observations came back normal. She asked for a cup of
tea and sent her daughter out the room to get it, and then she turned to me. I was sitting beside
her. She said, ‘Remember I have a DNAR [Do Not Attempt Resuscitation],’ and I reassured
her that I had seen it. She then leaned over to me and tapped me gently on my hand and said,
‘Well, whatever you do dear don’t bring me back,’ and proceeded to die. It was like she had
her finger on the off switch and decided to flick it. I’ve never seen a person go so calmly into
death.”
Notyoursocialworker commented:
“I meet a lot of people in my work who lost someone close. It’s the one thing I wish more
people knew. Some people hold on until their loved ones get there and some wait until the
person leaves.
“There’s so much guilt many feel for not being there at the time, like ‘Why did I have to go
and get a cup of coffee?’ or ‘Why did I listen to the nurse who said that I could go home and
rest for a while?’
“It was their choice, not yours.”
3) Liv9inginthemiddle wrote, “Not hospice but my uncle’s last moments. He was sitting in his
bed with the afternoon sun shining in, and his daughter was having a chat to him as well as his
sister on the bay window seat, and his cat was in his lap. He sighed deeply and said, ‘Well, as
lovely as all this is, I’m afraid I must go.’ And he rested his head back on the pillow and was
gone.”
4) Aware-Watercress5561 wrote, “One of my ex’s grandfather who was in good health woke
up one day and asked his son to take him to mass. They went to mass, he did confession and
received a blessing, and on the way home he put his head on his son’s shoulder as his son was
driving, said his deceased wife’s name, and passed away. We all assumed he knew this was his
last day. Not a bad way to go.”
5) just-another-gringo wrote, “I worked as a CNA at a nursing home while I was in college.
Strangest thing I experienced was a healthy elderly client asking what time her daughter was
scheduled to visit. I told her 4:30 and she asked me to call her daughter because she was going
‘home at 3:53.’ It was strange because the time was so specific and as I said she was healthy
— no reason to suspect she would die. I did as I was asked and her daughter showed up. The
woman had a heart attack with her daughter in the room. He official time of death was 3:55. As
everyone knows, it takes a couple of minutes for the doctor to pronounce a patient dead.”
6) zerbey wrote, “My great-grandfather who been mostly comatose for days suddenly sat up in
bed with a huge smile on his face and opened up his arms in greeting before falling back stone
dead. Whatever he saw in his last moments must have been incredible.”
7) EniacSage wrote, “Sick children can be the most disturbing and yet peaceful to lose. I’ve
also seen where a child’s imaginary friend told the child to tell the parents something no child
would say the way it was said. (‘Mommy, imaginary [friend] says to tell you it’s not allergies.
It’s growing in my head, and I’m not going to be okay, but you and daddy will be.’) Kid was
apparently at home and considered healthy but with a sinus headache when the child did this.
Freaked out mom enough she brought her to urgent care. … neuroblastoma found.”
East-Manufacturer437 commented, “My husband’s cousin was diagnosed with cancer at just 4
years old, and at the time, no one knew how severe it would become. When he was first
diagnosed, he told his grandparents that his mom told him they would be together soon and
frequently visited him, which shook everyone because his mom had passed away when he was
just two months old. He fought this battle for 7 years and peacefully passed away 2 weeks ago.
Typing this out gave me chills. It’s sad, but it’s comforting to know that his mom was there to
greet him with the biggest hug.”
8) bitsy88 wrote, “My mom used to do hospice work and she told me of a woman whose
husband of like 60 years had passed away about a week prior along with their only child (who
was an adult) in separate incidents. This woman was already in bad shape and losing her
husband and kid was kind of the last straw. As she was passing, she reached out her hand and
said, ‘Well, there you are!’ Everyone agreed it was her husband and son waiting for her.”
9) LOUDCO-HD wrote:
“Not a doctor or a nurse.
One of my uncles had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He was a tough guy and didn’t trust hospitals,
so he didn’t see a doctor until it was way too late, despite being in debilitating pain. When he
did, the prognosis was grim; he had maybe six weeks left and pancreatic cancer is a painful
way to die. He decided to get MAiD instead. Medical Assistance in Dying, which is legal in
Canada.
“On the day we were all gathered around his bed, all the paperwork and permissions were
sorted out and the syringe of drugs was connected to his IV. He was heavily sedated, but he has
to be the one to push the plunger, which he did with the help of his wife. He closed his eyes,
and his breathing got very shallow and slowed down. After a few minutes, we thought he had
passed.
“We were all standing around him, some saying goodbye, a lot of people were crying. About
10 minutes passed and people started to leave when suddenly, in a strong clear voice he said,
‘Russell, wait for me.’ He weakly raised his hand and then his breath rattled once and he was
gone. Nobody knew who Russell was, and it was kind of a mystery we talked about from time
to time at family gatherings, trying to guess who he was.
“Years later his wife passed and when his kids were going through her things they found a very
old photograph of him when he was maybe 5 years old. He was in a sandbox with a small dog,
on the back of the picture in faded ink it read ‘Russell, 1944.’
“The thought that our pets that have gone before us meet us to help us cross over fills me with
comfort. I hope it isn’t just a mind trying to make sense of a crazy time. I hope my Kacey and
Finneygan are waiting for me.”
10) RandyRhoadesLives wrote:
“Obligatory ‘not a hospice/hospital worker,’ but I did 30 years as a first responder. I have NO
idea how many folks died with me, as I tried to offer peace and comfort. For real … I have no
idea. Young men clutching my hand after shootings … the countless people on their last
breaths after auto accidents. I can’t even begin to account for them all. But here’s the deal: You
get pretty emotionally immune to watching folks die. You just do. But to THIS day, I can recall
the names and faces of every child who died in my arms … it’s a got damn nightmare. And
please note … I’m not religious. I’m not a ‘warm guy.’ I’m in my mid 50’s and still don’t have
children of my own. But holy shit, the innocent kids still haunt me.
“My last month of work, we got an innocuous call of a child who fell down in a parking lot. It
was 200 yards away from our station. A car was flying around too fast in the parking lot, and
clipped her. I arrived on foot. And a sweet 10-year-old girl was crying, as she lie in the street. I
got down and held her. Held her hand. She was in tears and excruciating pain. She looked in
my eyes and told me, ‘I’m scared because I’m dying.’ I held her hand tight, and promised her
she’d be all right. She was so scared. Within 10 or so mins, we finally got an ambulance to
rush her to ER. She died later that evening.
“And all the fucking shootings, stabbings, overdoses, and homicides … and they mean almost
nothing to me. But all these years later, and I still see that little girl’s face in my dreams. She
was in so much pain. She was so scared. So scared.
“And now… I’m checkin’ back out. This life was never supposed to be easy. I get it. I do. But
if there’s a God, he’s got a lot of apologizing to do.”
Chips151 commented, “I feel this in my bones. I am on the trauma team at my hospital. Also
not the faintest clue how many people I’ve seen die, and almost none of them stick with me.
Except the kids. It’s haunting. We worked on a little boy with the most striking blue eyes for
hours once, and I couldn’t look at blue eyes without being absolutely destroyed for almost a
year afterwards. His mother’s death scream was something I’ll never forget. The way you
worded your experience resonated so hard with me. As hard as my job is, I can’t imagine how
much more difficult yours is as a first responder. You have my deep gratitude and respect.
Wishing you peace.”
11) patsfan5454 wrote, “My first wife died at 33. I spent every moment with her for the last 5
days of her life. She was on morphine and pretty out of it. But right before she went, her eyes
shot open and she looked right in my eyes. I leaned in and whispered that it’s ok, I would take
care of our two kids, we will be fine. I told her I loved her and would see her on the other side.
She nodded ever so slightly and smiled and passed away at that moment.”96
97. “What’s The Most Unexpected NSFW Thing You’ve Ever Found On A Partner’s Or
Family Member’s Phone Or Laptop?”to
1) CBS_in_OP wrpte, “Not a phone or laptop, but my wife and I were driving though Texas
back around 2001 or 2002, and we had stopped to stay with her very reserved Grandma for a
couple of days to help her with a few things since she was recently widowed (have the car
serviced, fix some things around the place, take stuff to donate, etc.). One afternoon Grandma
asked me to show her how program her VCR. So I set things up and she found a tape. The tape
was unlabeled so she decided we needed to see what was on the tape in case it was something
she wanted to save. So I hit play and up on the TV popped a very graphic, very in-progress,
porn scene between two top-heavy ladies. I couldn’t hit stop quickly enough, but finally
managed. I was super embarrassed and I’m sure she was, too, but after a moment of dead
silence all she said was, ‘You can tape over that.’”
2) neurospicy_ wrote:
“My mom’s friend asked me to defrag their computer and help it run faster when I was 14ish.
Her husband had just passed and she was seeing his best friend. They were older, say late 60’s.
He was an electrician.
“There were multiple pics of him on a ladder with only boots, a hat, and his work pouch on
doing electrical work. I was mortified as they were not hidden at all just ALL in preview mode
in the open. We then found out they were nudists and often did everything nude at their nearby
farm.”
3) give_em_hell_kid wrote:
“Not insane, but the most NSFW was on my boyfriend’s phone. He had A LOT of hairy/70’s
bush-type of porn.
“I asked him if that’s what he liked in women and he said yes but was afraid to ask me to stop
shaving because he didn’t know how I’d respond.
“I responded well because I’ve always hated shaving, so it was an absolute win/win.”
4) atomic-chicken-soup wrote, “I was friends with a girl from work for about a decade. She
went through a bad break up and needed out of her apartment, and while my house isn’t very
big, I offered her my spare bedroom till she sorted her shit out. After a while things like her
Netflix account and stuff like that ended up being logged into my smart TV and one of the
many smart TV features was it would pull pictures off your other devices and use them as the
screen saver. We went out to get food or something but accidentally left the TV on and it was
on the screen saver when we came back. Her account had been logged in and it was cycling
through pictures of her and her recent ex in a plethora of sexual poses and costumes. My TV
doesn’t have any buttons on it and while we searched for the remote for about 5 minutes I got
an almost life-sized pictorial description of all of her kinks. She ended up living with me for
another couple years while she saved up to buy a house of her own.”
5) Prs-Mira86 wrote, “I brought my wife to dinner to a restaurant that was closing its doors for
good that weekend. So the cook comes out and starts chatting with us. He’s talking about sight-
seeing in the area and he hands me his phone to show me a picture of some landscape pictures
he’s took. I guess he forgot about his Home Screen photo, which was just a pic of some jacked
dude in a G-string. Haha. You could tell he was flustered, and my wife and I just played it off
like it was nothing and kept going with the conversation. When we got to the car, we just burst
out laughing.”97
98. “What’s A Completely Normal Thing You Did That Accidentally Made Someone Fall
In Love With You?”
1) Calculons Pride wrote:
“I live a half a mile from my office and once in a blue moon our alarm will go off and my boss
will ask me to drive by and check it out before he calls the cops. Four or five years ago, he
calls me on a Monday night or so and asks me to do a drive-by. I do, and get flagged down by
an older woman in the parking lot. She was the night cleaning lady for the building next to us
and had accidentally locked herself out; her car keys, phone, everything was in there, and she
had no numbers memorized. I stood with her for hours, making calls and trying to find a way
to get her in the building. I eventually call my friend whom I was casually texting before and
inform her of the situation and she comes by, and we literally go window to window around
the building looking for employee names or numbers we can call, even getting to the point
where we were looking up employees on LinkedIn and messaging them.
“We eventually found an employee, and they came and unlocked the building. So a happy
ending.
“What makes it even happier, is I’m fairly certain that’s the night my friend fell in love with
me. We’ve been together almost three years now and aren’t stopping anytime soon.”
2) Maxfunky wrote:
“Other way around but when I first met my wife she had brought a Pokémon notebook to work
with her for her first day on the job to take notes in.
“From my perspective, it spoke to a certain level of self-confidence and comfort with herself.
For her, it was just something to write in.”
3) HealthyWall wrote, “I was dancing in a club with a friend of a friend. The lighting went
ultraviolet, which felt quite magical. I leant in wide-eyed and said to her, ‘I love UV.’ She
pulled back and her face went numb for a moment, and then she broke into a beautiful smile,
put her hands on my shoulders, and said, ‘I think I might be falling in love with you, too!’”
4) whycw wrote:
“In a relationship now, but we started off as just two people having fun, so I had no intentions
of keeping him or impressing him. Hence, I had no filter and didn’t care about showing a
‘nice’ or ‘put-together’ version of myself.
“I’d say things without thinking and then feeling like I was mean but he found that side of me
really funny. I’d roast him or poke fun at him (with no intended real malice), and he’d love it.
“That was what he told me and something that stood out to him and made him really like being
around me.”
5) dustygrin wrote, “This is a fun one! I’d say the most random thing was when I helped a
coworker fix their coffee machine one morning, totally normal, right? Turns out, they thought
it was the sweetest gesture ever and admitted later it kinda sparked something!”
6) SizzleanQueen wrote, “1999, I was on a date. He walked me to my apartment on E 6th St.
When I got to the door, I turned around, faced him, reached for my lipgloss and rubbed it
slowly on my lips. I could see his eyes light up and he said, ‘That was the sexiest thing I’ve
ever seen.’ He was mine after that!”
7) cat-bagels wrote, “I introduced myself with a meow. He meowed back.”
8) Joey42601 wrote, “No clue what to do on date and didn’t think ahead, so I say, ‘Let’s go to
the bookstore.’ She always tells me that was a big moment for her. To be fair 90% of the
women I have dated respond well to my boring date ideas because the last 43 first dates with
guys were, “Let’s get a drink.’”
9) Sokehs wrote, “Friend was sick with the flu and I decided to surprise her with soup. I called
her multiple times on the way to Panera to find out which soup she liked and she was sleeping.
So I ordered every single one on the menu and brought it to her.”98
99. “What’s The Most Loving Thing Someone Has Ever Said To You?”
1) FriendlyDreamgirl wrote, “When I was struggling with infertility, my grandmother held my
hand and said, ‘Some women are meant to be mothers in different ways.’ A year later, I
adopted my amazing daughter.”
2) Radiant-Pay2123 wrote, “My partner of 42 years said, ‘I love you,’ just before we went to
bed. Then he died unexpectedly during the night.”
3) ValkyriesBabyMomma wrote, “‘Just marry me so you can get on my health insurance,’ he
said, while I was lying in a hospital bed with a chronic illness, uninsured.”
4) Mrs_Lockwod wrote, “When my youngest son realised I didn’t have any presents for
Christmas, but he and his brother had loads of presents, he said, “I’m going to write to Santa
for you. I know him. He’ll get you whatever you want.” He found out what I wanted (a tiny
bottle of tangerine watercolour paint) and wrote the most lovely note to Santa in his six-year-
old wiggly handwriting, phonetic spelling of tanjareen! That was the most precious gift that
Christmas. I still have it folded up in my jewelry box.”
5) Virtual-Mobile-7878 wrote:
“My dear mum when I was going through a period of shitty behaviour.
“‘I do not like you as a person. But I will always love you as my son.’
“Stopped me in my tracks and I immediately changed my behaviour.”
6) Roselily808 wrote, “I forgive you.”
7) Both_Options2306 wrote, “Not the most loving thing that was said, but more like done. My
son is 12 and recently we were crossing the street, and he put his arm out to block me from
stepping off the curb while a car was coming. It was at this moment I realized that he is
growing up quickly, and that I have done something right with him.”
8) skrinklelada wrote, “When I was about 15, I was having a really bad day at my shitty
waitressing job. I had been crying silently while serving for a while. An old lady sitting by
herself stopped me as I went past her and said, ‘You have a very lovely smile.’ I think about
her all the time.”
9) Soft_Image1368 wrote, “‘I wish I knew you then so I could have loved you sooner.’”
10) Auggi2Doggi3 wrote:
“I was talking about a black cat I found at work that I fell in love with but couldn’t keep
because I was moving at the moment to some adult relatives. I sarcastically said, ‘I’ve been
crying about it all week!’
“My 3-year-old niece was apparently listening. She told her dad the rest of the week that he
had to go find the cat so I wouldn’t be sad.
“She gave me a stuffed black cat for Christmas and said, ‘So you won’t be sad anymore.’
“Additional comment to say, a nice lady from work took the kitty home. Ziggy is living his
best kitty life with his new moms!”99
100. “What Is One Thing In Your Life That Makes You Go, ‘I Love Being A Woman’?”
1) TeenyWeenyQueenie wrote:
“Being able to cup and caress my boobies as a self-comforting mechanism. I caught myself
doing it in public many a time but it’s so comfy!
“And also having a community of women around me and feeling instantly better with them
when I’m sad!”
OpinionsInTheVoid commented, “Lol. I was about to simply comment ‘tits,’ but your response
is much more eloquent.”
2) 8bampowzap8 wrote, “The other night I was home alone. I got high, put on some good
music, wore a pink satin robe and nothing else and just danced around the house. The whole
time I kept thinking, ‘Damn, I feel like a woman. and I love it.’ It was a nice night.”
3) Electrical-Heron-619 wrote, “Genuine friendships! The intimacy of women’s friendships
and knowing from my straight guy friends so many of them don’t have anything like that
connection with other guys. It’s so sustaining!”
4) indicatprincess wrote, “I got my hair done last night. Everyone was in a good mood,
chatting and enjoying themselves. I love being in a fully female space.”
5) CozySarah wrote, “Being able to carry snacks, makeup, AND a life crisis in my purse like
it’s nothing.”
6) Drfish_ wrote, “Shaving my legs, putting lotion on and getting under a super-soft blanket. I
know men could do this, too, but I’ve never met one who’s experienced it.”
7) PersisPlain wrote, “Nursing my baby.”
8) Leah_Serene wrote, “Wearing a killer outfit, walking past construction workers, and
watching them not catcall me because I’ve mastered the art of the ‘I will destroy your
bloodline’ glare. Then going home, taking off my bra like I’m freeing a trapped soul, eating
noodles in bed, and feeling like a goddess of chaos and carbs. That’s peak womanhood, baby.”
9) goldenserenityyy wrote, “The fact that we are unapologetically able to be into fashion and
aesthetics. I prefer femininity over masculinity, and I like that femininity comes easier to me as
a woman. Oh! Also, girlhood/womanhood!”
10) YouMustDoEverything wrote, “How amazing it was that my body grew humans. Like, that
is so mind-blowing. Without me these cool young people I incubated and raised and cared for
wouldn’t exist at all.”
11) plant_owl wrote, “My clitoris. She’s my best friend, my ride or die.”
12) cats_and_tea7 wrote:
“I love how my girly, elegant, cutesy outfits look on me. Before I go out, I look at myself in
the mirror and think to myself, ‘Damn, girl.’
“When I come back, I look like a dead raccoon, though.”
13) N7twitch, “Lesbian sex is fire.”
14) Honest_Tumbleweed930 wrote, “Empathy, emotional intelligence, having genuine
friendships that are far way more important to me than romantic relationships, going out and
talking to friends, self-care, exploring hobbies, dressing up, doing my hair, my strong intuition,
ambition, wanting better for the world, sleepovers, creativity, seeing beauty in many things,
love of books and music, themed friend-gatherings at my home, thoughtfulness, etc.”
15) DiscoReads wrote:
“I live in a major city, and I am so glad I am a woman when I pass groups of men being loud
and rowdy and jumping together in ignorant, drunken aggressiveness on a weekend.
“Obviously I feel intimated —
“But, I more so appreciate that I get to spend my evening reading tarot cards while burning
incense, playing board games and discussing my deepest hopes and dreams, all to soft jazz
music with my female friends.

“Women are magic.”100

 Appendix A: Fair Use
This communication uses information that I have downloaded and adapted from the WWW. I will not make a
dime from it. The use of this information is consistent with fair use:
§ 107. Limitations on exclusive rights: Fair use

Release date: 2004-04-30

Notwithstanding the provisions of sections 106 and 106A, the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use
by reproduction in copies or phonorecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as
criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or
research, is not an infringement of copyright. In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular
case is a fair use the factors to be considered shall include —
(1) the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit
educational purposes;

(2) the nature of the copyrighted work;

(3) the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and
(4) the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.

The fact that a work is unpublished shall not itself bar a finding of fair use if such finding is made upon
consideration of all the above factors.

Source of Fair Use information:

<http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.html>

I assume these things:

Everyone wants Good Samaritans to get credit for their good deeds, and this book about Good Samaritans is a
good way to do that.
People who post on Imgur and Reddit or write letters to the editors want to share their information with the world.

Credit must be given where credit is due. I definitely try to do this.

I must not make money from this book.

Light editing is OK for such things as Imgur posts, Reddit posts, and letters to the editor. I see nothing wrong with
correcting an obvious misspelling.

Appendix B: About the Author

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a cry rang out, and on a hot summer night in 1954, Josephine, wife of
Carl Bruce, gave birth to a boy — me. Unfortunately, this young married couple allowed Reuben Saturday,
Josephine’s brother, to name their first-born. Reuben, aka “The Joker,” decided that Bruce was a nice name, so he
decided to name me Bruce Bruce. I have gone by my middle name — David — ever since.

Being named Bruce David Bruce hasn’t been all bad. Bank tellers remember me very quickly, so I don’t often
have to show an ID. It can be fun in charades, also. When I was a counselor as a teenager at Camp Echoing Hills
in Warsaw, Ohio, a fellow counselor gave the signs for “sounds like” and “two words,” then she pointed to a
bruise on her leg twice. Bruise Bruise? Oh yeah, Bruce Bruce is the answer!
Uncle Reuben, by the way, gave me a haircut when I was in kindergarten. He cut my hair short and shaved a small
bald spot on the back of my head. My mother wouldn’t let me go to school until the bald spot grew out again.

Of all my brothers and sisters (six in all), I am the only transplant to Athens, Ohio. I was born in Newark, Ohio,
and have lived all around Southeastern Ohio. However, I moved to Athens to go to Ohio University and have
never left.
At Ohio U, I never could make up my mind whether to major in English or Philosophy, so I got a bachelor’s
degree with a double major in both areas, then I added a Master of Arts degree in English and a Master of Arts
degree in Philosophy. Yes, I have my MAMA degree.

Currently, and for a long time to come (I eat fruits and veggies), I am spending my retirement writing books such
as Nadia Comaneci: Perfect 10, The Funniest People in Comedy, Homer’s Iliad: A Retelling in Prose, and William
Shakespeare’s Hamlet: A Retelling in Prose.

By the way, my sister Brenda Kennedy writes romances such as A New Beginning and Shattered Dreams.
 Appendix C: Some Books by David Bruce
Anecdote Books
250 Anecdotes About Opera
250 Anecdotes About Religion
250 Anecdotes About Religion: Volume 2
250 Risqué and Controversial Anecdotes
Cool and Funny People: 250 Anecdotes and Stories
The Coolest People in Art: 250 Anecdotes
The Coolest People in Books: 250 Anecdotes
The Coolest People in Comedy: 250 Anecdotes
The Coolest People in the Performing Arts: 250 Anecdotes and Stories
Dance, Music, Theater: 250 Anecdotes and Stories
Don’t Fear the Reaper: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Art: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Books: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Books, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Books, Volume 3: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Comedy: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Dance: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Families: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Families, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Families, Volume 3: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Families, Volume 5: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Families, Volume 6: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Movies: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Music: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Music, Volume 3: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Neighborhoods: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Relationships: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Television and Radio: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Theater: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People Who Live Life: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People Who Live Life, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
History and Politics: 250 Stories
The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds, Volume 1: 250 Anecdotes
The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
Life is Good: 250 Anecdotes
Maximum Cool: 250 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People in the Arts: 250 Anecdotes and Stories
The Most Interesting People in Movies: 250 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People in Politics and History: 250 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People in Politics and History, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People in Politics and History, Volume 3: 250 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People in Religion: 250 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People in Sports (Mostly Baseball): 275 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People Who Live Life: 250 Anecdotes
The Most Interesting People Who Live Life, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
Movies, Radio, and Television: 250 Anecdotes
Resist Psychic Death: 250 Anecdotes
Science and Religion: 250 Anecdotes and Stories
Seize the Day: 250 Anecdotes and Stories
Children’s Biography
Nadia Comaneci: Perfect Ten
Discussion Guides Series
Dante’s Inferno: A Discussion Guide
Dante’s Paradise: A Discussion Guide
Dante’s Purgatory: A Discussion Guide
Forrest Carter’s The Education of Little Tree: A Discussion Guide
Homer’s Iliad: A Discussion Guide
Homer’s Odyssey: A Discussion Guide
Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice: A Discussion Guide
Jerry Spinelli’s Maniac Magee: A Discussion Guide
Jerry Spinelli’s Stargirl: A Discussion Guide
Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”: A Discussion Guide
Lloyd Alexander’s The Black Cauldron: A Discussion Guide
Lloyd Alexander’s The Book of Three: A Discussion Guide
Lois Lowry’s Number the Stars: A Discussion Guide
Mark Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: A Discussion Guide
Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Tom Sawyer: A Discussion Guide
Mark Twain’s A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court: A Discussion Guide
Mark Twain’s The Prince and the Pauper: A Discussion Guide
Nancy Garden’s Annie on My Mind: A Discussion Guide
Nicholas Sparks’ A Walk to Remember: A Discussion Guide
Virgil’s Aeneid: A Discussion Guide
Virgil’s “The Fall of Troy”: A Discussion Guide
Voltaire’s Candide: A Discussion Guide
William Shakespeare’s 1 Henry IV: A Discussion Guide
William Shakespeare’s Macbeth: A Discussion Guide
William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Discussion Guide
William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: A Discussion Guide
William Sleator’s Oddballs: A Discussion Guide
(Oddballs is an excellent source for teaching how to write autobiographical essays/personal
narratives.)
Retellings of a Classic Work of Literature
Arden of Faversham: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s The Arraignment, or Poetaster: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s Bartholomew Fair: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s The Case is Altered: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s Catiline’s Conspiracy: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s The Devil is an Ass: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s Epicene: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s Every Man in His Humor: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s Every Man Out of His Humor: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s The Fountain of Self-Love, or Cynthia’s Revels: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s The Magnetic Lady, or Humors Reconciled: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s The New Inn, or The Light Heart: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s Sejanus’ Fall: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s The Staple of News: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s A Tale of a Tub: A Retelling
Ben Jonson’s Volpone, or the Fox: A Retelling
Christopher Marlowe’s Complete Plays: Retellings
Christopher Marlowe’s Dido, Queen of Carthage: A Retelling
Christopher Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus: Retellings of the 1604 A-Text and of the 1616 B-Text
Christopher Marlowe’s Edward II: A Retelling
Christopher Marlowe’s The Massacre at Paris: A Retelling
Christopher Marlowe’s The Rich Jew of Malta: A Retelling
Christopher Marlowe’s Tamburlaine, Parts 1 and 2: Retellings
Dante’s Divine Comedy: A Retelling in Prose
Dante’s Inferno: A Retelling in Prose
Dante’s Purgatory: A Retelling in Prose
Dante’s Paradise: A Retelling in Prose
The Famous Victories of Henry V: A Retelling
From the Iliad to the Odyssey: A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrna’s Posthomerica
George Chapman, Ben Jonson, and John Marston’s Eastward Ho! A Retelling
George Peele’s The Arraignment of Paris: A Retelling
George Peele’s The Battle of Alcazar: A Retelling
George Peele’s David and Bathsheba, and the Tragedy of Absalom: A Retelling
George Peele’s Edward I: A Retelling
George Peele’s The Old Wives’ Tale: A Retelling
George-a-Greene: A Retelling
The History of King Leir: A Retelling
Homer’s Iliad: A Retelling in Prose
Homer’s Odyssey: A Retelling in Prose
J.W. Gent.’s The Valiant Scot: A Retelling
Jason and the Argonauts: A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes’ Argonautica
John Ford: Eight Plays Translated into Modern English
John Ford’s The Broken Heart: A Retelling
John Ford’s The Fancies, Chaste and Noble: A Retelling
John Ford’s The Lady’s Trial: A Retelling
John Ford’s The Lover’s Melancholy: A Retelling
John Ford’s Love’s Sacrifice: A Retelling
John Ford’s Perkin Warbeck: A Retelling
John Ford’s The Queen: A Retelling
John Ford’s ‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore: A Retelling
John Lyly’s Campaspe: A Retelling
John Lyly’s Endymion, The Man in the Moon: A Retelling
John Lyly’s Galatea: A Retelling
John Lyly’s Love’s Metamorphosis: A Retelling
John Lyly’s Midas: A Retelling
John Lyly’s Mother Bombie: A Retelling
John Lyly’s Sappho and Phao: A Retelling
John Lyly’s The Woman in the Moon: A Retelling
John Webster’s The White Devil: A Retelling
King Edward III: A Retelling
Mankind: A Medieval Morality Play (A Retelling)
Margaret Cavendish’s The Unnatural Tragedy: A Retelling
The Merry Devil of Edmonton: A Retelling
The Summoning of Everyman: A Medieval Morality Play (A Retelling)
Robert Greene’s Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay: A Retelling
The Taming of a Shrew: A Retelling
Tarlton’s Jests: A Retelling
Thomas Middleton’s A Chaste Maid in Cheapside: A Retelling
Thomas Middleton’s Women Beware Women: A Retelling
Thomas Middleton and Thomas Dekker’s The Roaring Girl: A Retelling
Thomas Middleton and William Rowley’s The Changeling: A Retelling
The Trojan War and Its Aftermath: Four Ancient Epic Poems
Virgil’s Aeneid: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 5 Late Romances: Retellings in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 10 Histories: Retellings in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 11 Tragedies: Retellings in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 12 Comedies: Retellings in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 38 Plays: Retellings in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 1 Henry IV, aka Henry IV, Part 1: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 2 Henry IV, aka Henry IV, Part 2: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 1 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 1: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 2 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 2: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s 3 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 3: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s All’s Well that Ends Well: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s As You Like It: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Coriolanus: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Cymbeline: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Hamlet: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Henry V: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Henry VIII: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s King John: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s King Lear: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Love’s Labor’s Lost: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Macbeth: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Othello: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Pericles, Prince of Tyre: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Richard II: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Richard III: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s The Tempest: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s The Two Gentlemen of Verona: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s The Two Noble Kinsmen: A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale: A Retelling in Prose
***

COMPOSITION PROJECTS
Composition Project: Writing an Autobiographical Essay

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1138445
Composition Project: Writing a Hero-of-Human-Rights Essay

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/481598
Composition Project: Writing a Problem-Solving Letter

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1138745
TEACHING

How to Teach the Autobiographical Essay Composition Project in 9 Classes

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/487660
***

IT’S A WONDERFUL WORLD SERIES (Stories and Anecdotes and Opinions)

It’s a Wonderful World: Volumes 1-7

https://wordpress.com/page/davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/690
***
THE RELATIONSHIP BOOKS SERIES

The Relationship Books (Volumes 1-8)

https://wordpress.com/page/davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/674
***

BE KIND AND BE USEFUL SERIES (Stories and Anecdotes and Opinions)

Be Kind and Be Useful: Volumes 1-5)

https://wordpress.com/page/davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/686
***
BRUCE’S MUSIC RECOMMENDATIONS SERIES

Bruce’s Music Recommendations: Volumes 1-8

https://anecdotesandmusic.wordpress.com/2022/04/26/bruces-music-recommendations-free-
pdfs/
Bruce’s Music Recommendations: Volumes 1-9

https://anecdotesandmusic.wordpress.com/2022/05/16/bruces-music-recomendations-volume-
9/
***
davidbruceblog #1

http://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/
davidbruceblog #2

https://davidbrucemusic.wordpress.com
davidbruceblog #3

https://cosplayvideos.wordpress.com
davidbruceblog #4

https://davidbruceblog4.wordpress.com
David Bruce Books: Free PDFs
davidbrucebooks: EDUCATE YOURSELF
https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com
Anecdotes, Arts, Books, and Music
https://anecdotesandmusic.wordpress.com
George Peele: English Dramatist
https://georgepeeleenglishdramatist.wordpress.com
David Bruce’s Books at Blogspot

https://davidbrucebooks.blogspot.com
David Bruce’s Books at WIX

https://bruceb22.wixsite.com/website/blog
David Bruce’s Books at Smashwords

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/bruceb
David Bruce’s Books at Apple Books

https://itunes.apple.com/ie/artist/david-bruce/id81470634
David Bruce’s Books at Kobo

https://www.kobo.com/us/en/search?query=david%20bruce&fcsearchfield=Author
David Bruce’s Books at Barnes and Noble

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22David%20Bruce%22;jsessionid=D4DEC0519518F94
804E91EDDBB9A431F.prodny_store02-atgap06?
Ntk=P_key_Contributor_List&Ns=P_Sales_Rank&Ntx=mode+matchall
Teaching Stuff

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
How to Teach the Autobiographical Essay Composition Project in 9 Classes

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
William Sleator’s Oddballs: A Discussion Guide

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing a Problem-Solving Letter
https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing a Hero-of-Human-Rights Essay

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing an Argument Paper with Research

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing an Employee Manual

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing an Evaluation or Review

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing a Famous-Plagiarist/Fabulist Report

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
How Do I Write a Resume, List of References, and Job-Application Letter

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
How Do I Write Humor and Satire?

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: The Set of Instructions

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing a Manual

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing a Media Opinion Essay

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Interview About On-the-Job Writing

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Composition Project: Writing a Progress Report

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
How Do I Write the Introductory Memo Assignment?

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
How to Teach the Argument Paper Composition Project in 10 Classes

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
How to Teach the Famous-Plagiarist Research Report Composition Project in 8 Classes

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
How to Teach the Manual Composition Project in 8 Classes

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
How to Teach the Resume, Job-Application Letter, and List of References Composition Project in 6 Classes

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Free Writing Handouts with Anecdotes: Volume 1

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Free Writing Handouts with Anecdotes: Volume 2

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
Free Writing Handouts with Anecdotes: Volume 3

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/teaching-guides/
DANTE INFERNO HAIKU PDF
https://cosplayvideos.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/dante-inferno-haiku.pdf
DANTE PURGATORY HAIKU PDF
https://cosplayvideos.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/dante-purgatory-haiku-pdf.pdf
DANTE PARADISE HAIKU PDF
https://cosplayvideos.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/dante-paradise-haiku.pdf
davidbrucehaiku #1 through #10 (Free PDFs)

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/patreon/
davidbrucehaiku #11

https://davidbrucemusic.files.wordpress.com/2018/10/davidbrucehaiku-11.pdf
davidbrucehaiku #12

https://cosplayvideos.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/davidbrucehaiku-12.pdf
davidbrucehaiku #13

https://cosplayvideos.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/davidbrucehaiku-13/
https://cosplayvideos.files.wordpress.com/2019/04/davidbrucehaiku13.pdf
davidbrucehaiku #14

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/davidbrucehaiku/
davidbrucehaiku #15

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/davidbrucehaiku/
davidbrucehaiku #16

https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.com/davidbrucehaiku/
 Appendix D: Some Books by Brenda Kennedy (My Sister)
The Forgotten Trilogy
Book One: Forgetting the Past

Book Two: Living for Today

Book Three: Seeking the Future

The Learning to Live Trilogy

Book One: Learning to Live

Book Two: Learning to Trust

Book Three: Learning to Love

The Starting Over Trilogy

Book One: A New Beginning

Book Two: Saving Angel

Book Three: Destined to Love

The Freedom Trilogy

Book One: Shattered Dreams

Book Two: Broken Lives

Book Three: Mending Hearts

The Fighting to Survive Trilogy

Round One: A Life Worth Fighting

Round Two: Against the Odds

Round Three: One Last Fight

The Rose Farm Trilogy

Book One: Forever Country

Book Two: Country Life

Book Three: Country Love

Books in the Seashell Island Stand-alone Series

Book One: Home on Seashell Island (Free)

Book Two: Christmas on Seashell Island

Book Three: Living on Seashell Island

Book Four: Moving to Seashell Island

Book Five: Returning to Seashell Island

Books in the Pineapple Grove Cozy Murder Mystery Stand-alone Series
Book One: Murder Behind the Coffeehouse

Books in the Montgomery Wine Stand-alone Series

Book One: A Place to Call Home

Book Two: In Search of Happiness… coming soon

Stand-alone books in the “Another Round of Laughter Series” written by Brenda and some of her siblings:
Carla Evans, Martha Farmer, Rosa Jones, and David Bruce.
Cupcakes Are Not a Diet Food (Free)

Kids Are Not Always Angels

Aging Is Not for Sissies

NOTE for below books: These books are the first books of series and end in cliffhangers.

FORGETTING THE PAST

https://www.amazon.com/Forgetting-Past-Forgotten-Trilogy-Book-
ebook/dp/B01GQELEYY/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/641664
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/641664
FOREVER COUNTRY

https://www.amazon.com/Forever-Country-Rose-Farm-Trilogy-
ebook/dp/B017OMNPZS/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF
Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/591247
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/591247
A NEW BEGINNING

https://www.amazon.com/Beginning-Starting-Over-Trilogy-Book-
ebook/dp/B00JHQC25Y/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/426321
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/426321
LEARNING TO LIVE

https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Live-Trilogy-Book-ebook/dp/B01N0XZ0ZL/ref=asap_bc?
ie=UTF8
Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/694489
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/694489
A LIFE WORTH FIGHTING

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Worth-Fighting-Survive-Trilogy-
ebook/dp/B00WY8OR4Q/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/539553
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/539553
SHATTERED DREAMS

https://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Dreams-Freedom-Trilogy-Book-
ebook/dp/B00PF0ROUY/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/493939
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/493939
THIS IS A FREE STANDALONE BOOK: HOME ON SEASHELL ISLAND

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B076Y1VTCV/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i14
Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/755692
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/755692
 Appendix E: David Bruce Music Videos

YOUTUBE CHANNEL
https://www.youtube.com/@davidbruce486

A Touch of Class: “I’m in Heaven (When You Kiss Me)”

https://youtu.be/PKFquFhQd88

As Poderosas Cenourettes Topzeras das Gal​á​xias: “Vegetal du Mal” (Line Drawings)

(Girls Rock Camp Brasil)
https://youtu.be/gmMjj8MHi8M

Joan Baez: “We Shall Overcome”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNX4I1tqhfw

Bangs: “I Want More”

https://youtu.be/q4M-yxvDYtg

Bon Jovi: “It’s My Life” (Gay Rights)

https://youtu.be/1v9ZOcIRn-I

Bridget Conlin: “A Better Man”

https://youtu.be/-ht3ADJkfnU

Dave Brubeck Quartet: “Take Five”

https://youtu.be/R7hobzDW5vk

BRUCE DALZELL
Bruce and Gay Dalzell: “The Coventry Carol” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/qEHqd-FvLLg
Bruce Dalzell (Athens, Ohio, USA): “Avery’s Lament” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/VG_vgTe6xxc
Bruce Dalzell: “Christmas in Prison”
https://youtu.be/27fUWfnff1M
Bruce Dalzell: “Don’t Tease Me, Margret” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/hYZa5Ux0HKg
Bruce Dalzell: “In the Fading Light”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAP4Ub3DYnI
Bruce Dalzell: “Last Dance at the Robinette”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enM-p48rCaU
Bruce Dalzell: “Mimi’s Mandolin”
https://youtu.be/NXmnHztx4Go
Bruce Dalzell: “My Baby Scares Me”
https://youtu.be/UuLkcaLKMP0
Bruce Dalzell: “Racing Up Route 13”
https://youtu.be/mw31voJGArY
Bruce Dalzell: “Rocky Top”
https://youtu.be/ephe92En_eU
Bruce Dalzell: “The Run (She’s Leaving Home)” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/2C_66iPNyrA
Bruce Dalzell: “Sneaking a Kiss” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/3eXJIq567ug
Bruce Dalzell: “The Stuff of Dreams”
https://youtu.be/dbOiRwuo7sk
Bruce Dalzell: “Sunrise at High Point”
https://youtu.be/_Xbf5LxpcDQ
Bruce Dalzell: “Trimble Two-Step”
https://youtu.be/FTPcvfkO1i0
Bruce Dalzell: “Waltz for Kelee”
https://youtu.be/KZhizA1kP7c
Bruce Dalzell: “What Have You Done to Me”
https://youtu.be/4mPdXRt-rJ0
Bruce Dalzell: “Where I Come From” (Instrumental)
https://youtu.be/e2ogpzZMs-I
Bruce Dalzell: “Where I Come From” (Vocal)
https://youtu.be/HSibw6uoqWY
Bruce Dalzell: “You Always Make Me Smile”
https://youtu.be/MaS6-7Fde7I
Bruce Dalzell: “You Always Make Me Smile” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/GywAk7x7pY8

BRUCE DALZELL AND THE LOCAL GIRLS

Bruce Dalzell and The Local Girls Cameos (Brazilian TV)
https://youtu.be/6k1W2ttEVao and
https://youtu.be/BsMMSrmVe5w

Paul Desmond: “O Gato”

https://youtu.be/Hdr7nP3qnG4

Richard Grosser: Ukraine: National Anthem

https://youtu.be/HqB3eBlXv3M

BILLIE HOLIDAY
Billie Holiday: “God Bless the Child”
https://youtu.be/7i5AWwXJDoM
Billie Holiday: “Strange Fruit”
https://youtu.be/tN8inUDdgC0

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: “Different”

https://youtu.be/faMkz-jwUGU
Larry Elefante: “They All Ask’d for You”
https://youtu.be/JlR0YwdIxwY

The Last Noelle: “The Rainbow Connection”

https://youtu.be/2r3E_dyzL20

John Hammond: “Big 45” (Piano by Bob Montalto)

https://youtu.be/RgUUuYHODvY
John Hammond: “It Hurts Me Too” (Piano by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/8pxtOV2kKIM

Spike Jones and His City Slickers: “Der Fuehrer’s Face”

https://youtu.be/o3TuqMraxMo

THE LOCAL GIRLS

TV Commercial: “The Local Girls Translated into Portuguese”
https://youtu.be/Tb2Jms7XykU
TV Commercial: “The Local Girls Dubbed into Portuguese”
https://youtu.be/9ooI6vqezwo

Brenda Catania: “The Green Hills of Athens” (Line Drawings)

https://youtu.be/iC4AfNJK3R0
Gay Dalzell: “When Glows the Evening Star” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/UxcALzbARgs
Mimi Hart: “The Campus is Lonely Tonight” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/A3ia0viPquE
The Local Girls: “Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea”
https://youtu.be/OMRJke0Wxh8
The Local Girls: “Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/Jzlr3k5vk-g
The Local Girls: “Blue Shadows on the Trail”
https://youtu.be/lprEzwUad20
The Local Girls: “Bozo Blues”
https://youtu.be/-PLaSJn6Szk
The Local Girls: “Caravan”
https://youtu.be/k7E7JHvpbDk
The Local Girls: “Centerpiece”
https://youtu.be/230eVMP7LXY
The Local Girls: “Cheek to Cheek”
https://youtu.be/FQWVUe4zU48
The Local Girls: “Come Softly to Me”
https://youtu.be/064gTVBExFM
The Local Girls: “Deck the Halls”
https://youtu.be/YVoP2yiv6oQ
The Local Girls: “Fantasy Talk Show”
https://youtu.be/joITvWUQkqE
The Local Girls: “Get Rid of Him”
https://youtu.be/wx9Z-yckML8
The Local Girls: “Gone Too Long”
https://youtu.be/GsP2ZGdjt4I
The Local Girls: “Goodnight, Sweet Jesus (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/gHmE7dkHdHA
The Local Girls: “Here Comes the Santa Fe”
https://youtu.be/PlSTaW3UNmE
The Local Girls: “I Didn’t Know About You”
https://youtu.be/tb3KDLrAA2g
The Local Girls: “I Feel Free”
https://youtu.be/UGafUAfT3b4
The Local Girls: “I Want to Be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart”
https://youtu.be/uy8JRXASwJw
The Local Girls: “I’ll Never Say ‘Never Again’ Again”
https://youtu.be/7gAWwTbq3tc
The Local Girls: “I’m Into Something Good”
https://youtu.be/4ND_3iTD6Go
The Local Girls: “It’s Not Too Late”
https://youtu.be/SYnFPMjWF58
The Local Girls: “It’s Not Too Late” (As It Appears on Estilo De Jogo: Brazilian TV)
https://youtu.be/OO2iVSciWXQ
The Local Girls: “The Last Month of the Year”
https://youtu.be/0FDuNa6_hBE
The Local Girls: “Late November”
https://youtu.be/4yvzw0WWnwI
The Local Girls: “Late November” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/eiTwk_Hs_sQ
The Local Girls: “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”
https://youtu.be/p7Xib2bfEZ0
The Local Girls: “Let Yourself Go”
https://youtu.be/MGZ-Q88M4J8
The Local Girls: “Mele Kalikimala”
https://youtu.be/CRacajU7ewU
The Local Girls: “Nuts to You”
https://youtu.be/u6aqQeqLphU
The Local Girls: “Ready on the Firing Line”
https://youtu.be/16jkXGNkRGo
The Local Girls: “Santa, Bring My Baby Back (to Me)”
https://youtu.be/4o848A6fqE0
The Local Girls: “Shout, Sister, Shout”
https://youtu.be/RbiQW0QQNXg
The Local Girls: “Since My Bird has Flied Away”
https://youtu.be/5vOC-aNAG2Q
The Local Girls: “Snap, Crackle, Pop”
https://youtu.be/Z5S4zgwTYTg
The Local Girls: “Star of Wonder” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/Xj-e2n3mZ_s
The Local Girls: “Stay a Little Longer” (Version Two)
https://youtu.be/-r_pxcCyKCw
The Local Girls: “Stay a Little Longer” (Version Three)
https://youtu.be/jRGF5tHsQhU
The Local Girls: “Telling Me Lies”
https://youtu.be/cQCA7FdqZEY
The Local Girls: “Three Little Words”
https://youtu.be/ycZYhLt3FHM
The Local Girls: “Three Little Words” (For Jesse)
https://youtu.be/URn28pJntN8
The Local Girls: “Three Little Words” (Live) (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/b28hJkRwKZE
The Local Girls: “Where the Boys Are”
https://youtu.be/MwBkQWgHRfQ
The Local Girls: “You Better Let That Liar Alone”
https://youtu.be/nho5HWBjQPo
The Local Girls: “Your Trip Around the Sun”
https://youtu.be/8yk2XbBrlMc

The New Seekers: “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”

https://youtu.be/iz1YXFJg8-Q

PAULA LOCKHEART
Paula Lockheart: “Moonglow”
https://youtu.be/iNHZ-XL5oio
Paula Lockheart: “Sweet Marijuana Brown” (Piano by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/kbG8qq14Vz0
Paula Lockheart: “Them There Eyes” (Arranged by and Piano by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/nxoDIOoH4ec

Dave Mason: “Tomorrow’s Sweet Sunrise”

https://youtu.be/AC7kLxaEfTw

MEGAFONE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Megafone Especial de natal 2024 (Megaphone Christmas Special 2024 w/ The Local Girls
and Bruce Dalzell)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA9Xe08kpQY

THE MICROSCOPIC SEPTET

Note: These Microscopic Septet videos have a Private setting. You need to be signed into
YouTube to see them.
The Microscopic Septet’s “Bee Beep” (Composed by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/94IRzQxnMR8
The Microscopic Septet: “Bye-Ya” (Arranged by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/vZWSprw2jOI
Microscopic Septet: “Dill Pickle Tango” (Composed by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/mITeoEKlMY0
The Microscopic Septet: “Party at P.J.’s” (Composed by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/JN0jcNsMJ9w

BOB MONTALTO
Bob Montalto: “Karen”
https://youtu.be/3hSW-V3GDJc
Bob Montalto: “Pedro’s Lament”
https://youtu.be/QJHCDwgMUVg
Bob Montalto: “Rocky Mountain Postlude”
https://youtu.be/MqRs2jRFQ4s
Bob Montalto: “Rolling”
https://youtu.be/MhfWxuEk2yY
Bob Montalto: “Short Tall Sally”
https://youtu.be/WEK2pGLaMKQ
Bob Montalto: “Squash Polka”
https://youtu.be/-C2j9NRDb7c
Bob Montalto: Three Instrumentals
https://youtu.be/P4SOnou3J_g
Bob Montalto: “Waltzing with Jesus”
https://youtu.be/SpPIfIzro9o
John Hammond: “Big 45” (Piano by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/RgUUuYHODvY
John Hammond: “It Hurts Me Too” (Piano by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/8pxtOV2kKIM
Paula Lockheart: “Sweet Marijuana Brown” (Piano by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/kbG8qq14Vz0
Paula Lockheart: “Them There Eyes” (Arranged by and Piano by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/nxoDIOoH4ec
Note: The below Microscopic Septet videos have a Private setting. You need to be signed
into YouTube to see them.
The Microscopic Septet’s “Bee Beep” (Composed by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/94IRzQxnMR8
The Microscopic Septet: “Bye-Ya” (Arranged by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/vZWSprw2jOI
Microscopic Septet: “Dill Pickle Tango” (Composed by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/mITeoEKlMY0
The Microscopic Septet: “Party at P.J.’s” (Composed by Bob Montalto)
https://youtu.be/JN0jcNsMJ9w
Prom Queen: “Blonde”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlFkxCCuKDI

Elvis Presley: “Amazing Grace”

https://youtu.be/0WUjzecW2gg

Mike Ratliff: “Lucky I’m Not Dead” (Line Drawings)

https://youtu.be/FXrPNAEAIuk

REBECCA ROSSITER
Rebecca Rossiter: “A Simple Thing” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/Da-IeP2OJuE
Rebecca Rossiter: “Blessing” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/1U_YK3RuZ6c
Rebecca Rossiter: “His Hands”
https://youtu.be/SQjFI-8OVg8

Pete Seeger: “If I Had a Hammer” (A Progressive Anthem)

https://youtu.be/076UYdfg3es

RUSTY SMITH
Rusty Smith and Friends: “Break My Mind” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/oG9nkIutUHw
Rusty Smith and Friends: “The Deep End.” Composed by J.D. Hutchison.
https://youtu.be/y3fwFE7Z_-Y
Rusty Smith: “Deportee”
https://youtu.be/Hw4IFDUzlAs
2025 April 06 Brazilian Radio Show: Rádio Capela
The introduction to Rusty Smith’s “Deportee” begins at 30:40. His song begins at 34:28.
https://youtu.be/9SI5-T9EvrA
Rusty Smith and Friends: “Diamonds in the Rough”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxTT4vyWYHw
Rusty Smith and Friends: “Give Me My Flowers While I’m Living”
https://youtu.be/DDrxXH2YNjM
Rusty Smith and Friends: “How Can I Keep from Singing”
https://youtu.be/rRguiKNxTi8
Rusty Smith and Friends: “I Don’t Want Your Rambling Letters.”
https://youtu.be/O62VG-RAq74
Rusty Smith and Friends: “I Get the Blues When It Rains”
https://youtu.be/o1y3QZmu3Tk
Rusty Smith and Friends: "In Tall Buildings / Midnight on the Water"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFkUfTegbik
Rusty Smith and Friends (Athens, Ohio, USA): “Waltzing with Jesus.” Composed by Bob
Montalto.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpPIfIzro9o
Rusty Smith: “TV Blues”
https://youtu.be/-JNZCauSyOg

Sad Bastards of Brooklyn: “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”

https://www.youtube.com/@davidbruce486

Sad Girls: “Love Yourself” (Girls Rock Camp Brasil)

https://youtu.be/fTR8kHPBkgI

SHAUN THERON
Shaun Theron “Mithridates” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/NXqdykYCRbs
Shaun Theron: “Mithridates”
https://youtu.be/tIZaklU8Po4

Storeetellers: “Undateable”
https://youtu.be/TjCJkee2FGI

Violetas Valentes: “Rosetta” (Girls Rock Camp Brasil)

https://youtu.be/mLNbCdKA4bU

LIZ WOOLLEY
The Liz Woolley Band: “A Pleasant Turn” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/97lPB8ekCwU
The Liz Woolley Band: “What Will It Take” (Line Drawings)
https://youtu.be/HVLP0IjCAdI
 Notes

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date?” AskReddit. 28 December 2024 <
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Source: Ecstatic-Risk9251, “What were you doing the day you realized you entered middle age?”
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e/ >.
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wheelchair user? If so, what was your experience like? If not, would you consider it?” AskReddit. 8
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Source: Big_Both, “To the lucky redditors, how and where did you meet your partner for the first time?”
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u_meet/ >.
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Source: cyborg_pasta, “Doctors who had to break the news, what was a reaction that stuck with you the
most?” AskReddit. 16 January 2025 <
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January 2025

<
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happened next?” Ask Reddit. 20 February 2025 <
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1iu7ehh/for_the_guys_who_were_told_no_during_a_marr
iage/ >.
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