The Barbarian’s Tribute

NOT-SO-SAVAGE BARBARIANS SERIES

BOOK ONE

AMY PADILLA

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 Contents
TW’s

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
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Also by Amy Padilla
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 TW’s

**TRIGGER WARNING**
The following series contains potentially upsetting themes, such as dubious
consent, threats of & violence against the MC, and attempted assault.
Consent is sexy and your mental health is very important! If these
themes are at all triggering to you, please consider another book.

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 One

T
he door to the library flew open, slamming against the wall so hard it
bounced off and nearly hit my brother in the face as he followed
behind my father. It was my brother’s quick action that saved him
from the embarrassment. He slapped a hand on the surface, stopping it
before it could hit him square on. My father ignored it, storming into the
room with his eyes ablaze. I’d seen that look a hundred times in my
lifetime. It never ended well for the person on the other end of it. He’d
never looked at me like that before, though. Not until now.
“Tell me it isn’t true.”
My brows furrowed, and I pushed to my feet, the book I’d been reading
still clutched in my hand. “What isn’t true?”
“Your brother says you’ve been shacking up with men! Tell me it isn’t
true, Phineas!”
My blood ran cold and my gaze jerked to my brother. He still stood by
the door, a cruel grin stretching over his face when he took in my panicked
expression. That look disappeared in a flash when my father glared at him
over his shoulder, only to return the minute he turned his back. He was
enjoying this.
“Phineas!” my father demanded.
I whipped my gaze back to his, swallowing hard. I wasn’t sure how to
answer. I could lie, but I doubted Fraser went to him without some kind of
made up proof. Not knowing that proof left me at a disadvantage. I wasn’t
sure if I was just digging myself deeper by arguing.
“I–” I started, only to be cut off by my father again.
“I should have known! Your continued refusal to wed wasn’t because
you were waiting for the best deal for the family! You were only biding
your time, weren’t you? Do you have any idea what would have happened
if you had been caught! Do you care so little about humiliating your
family?”
“I haven’t done anything!” I argued, my voice tight, with unshed tears
swelling in my eyes. While it was true that I was attracted to men, I never
touched one. I never even flirted with one. I didn't want anyone to find out.
A loud crack filled the air as my father backhanded me. I cried out,
falling to the ground from the force. I’d always been the smallest, and it
was times like these that I wished it was different. It only added to the fuel,
my father’s furious eyes widening even further because of my reaction.
“You’re disgusting! I don’t know why I even thought you were a man!
You’re a disgrace to this family!”
My vision blurred, and I had to duck my head to hide my tears. It would
only make things worse.
“Father, perhaps you should sit down. Your health–” Fraser started, his
voice filled with faux concern.
“Silence!” Father shouted at him. “Get the carriage ready. Now!”
Fraser knew better than to argue and disappeared to do as bid, leaving
me alone with my father. I was afraid to move, terrified of the consequences
if I did. I’d never earned my father’s wrath like this before. Disappointment,
sure, on occasion. I could never make him proud by being small and quiet
and wholly uninterested in things that most men were into. I didn’t hunt for
sport, I didn’t fight or have dozens of women in my bed. I preferred to
spend my time in the library or taking walks along the river. It annoyed
him, but he never hated me for it. Not until now.
“I won’t allow this humiliation to stand, Phineas. You were already the
runt of the family. You won’t drag our name through the mud by associating
yourself with us any longer.”
Lifting my head slowly, I looked up at him. “Father–”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses!” he bellowed. “Get up! We’re
leaving!”
 I didn’t want to go. Whatever he had planned, it wouldn’t be good.
Father never did half hearted punishments. He was angry enough to hurt
me, so whatever he had planned once we walked out of this room would be
worse than that. If I could just get him to listen, I could convince him Fraser
was lying. I was fully prepared to spend the rest of my life alone. I wouldn’t
have shamed our family name. I never should’ve trusted my secret to my
brother.
When I didn’t move fast enough, Father took matters into his own
hands. He fisted my short cropped curls, dragging me to my feet and out the
door. I whimpered through the pain, dropping the book I’d been holding to
grasp at his wrist. I wasn’t strong enough to get him to release me, nor was I
brave enough to try. I just held on in hopes of easing the pain somehow. He
didn't let go until we were outside. The carriage was already waiting, Fraser
sitting in the box seat with a mock frown.
“Where to, Father?”
“The council estate. Be quick about it.” He shoved me into the carriage
and followed after me, slamming the door behind him. Ever obedient,
Fraser snapped the reins, forcing the horses into a gallop to get us there
quickly.
It wasn’t a long trip, our home was close by, but it felt like it dragged
on. I sat curled in on myself across from my father, trying to figure out why
he was bringing me to the council estate. Did he want me to give up my ties
to him publicly? Was he hoping they’d arrest me? I wasn’t sure, and the
longer I went without knowing, the more panicked I felt.
“F-Father, I swear, I haven’t–”
“I’m not interested in your lies, Phineas,” he snapped. “Get out.”
We’d pulled up in front of the council estate while I tried to convince
him to listen to me. I thought about refusing, forcing him to at least hear me
out, but he didn’t wait around for me to make a scene. He fisted my hair
again and dragged me out, ignoring the stares of everyone there that
evening as he hauled me inside. With the angle I was at, I couldn’t keep
track of where we were going until he forced me into the mayor’s office,
throwing me forward so that I collapsed to the ground.
“Here’s your volunteer for the next tribute.”
My breath froze in my chest and I whipped my head up, looking at the
men sitting at the round table. The men who decided who was handed off to
the barbarian clan who passed through every year, in exchange for them
leaving us alone.
The mayor, a portly man with a thin mustache, frowned at my father.
“You’re volunteering your own son?”
“He’s no son of mine,” Father hissed. “And I’ll not have him in my
house a moment longer.”
The town marshal tipped his head, looking at my father like he’d grown
two heads. “They want women to service them. Why would we–”
Father shot me another hateful look before turning back to the group.
“Given what proclivities Phineas has, I’m sure he’ll be able to fill that role.
At least sending him, we won’t lose an actually beneficial member to our
society.”
All eyes swung to me and looks of disgust twisted in their expressions. I
choked back a sob, still on my hands and knees where my father had thrown
me. I kept casting around for ideas of how to stop this, but I came up blank.
“Is there proof?” the mayor asked. “I won’t have him sent along only
for him to cause trouble for us. Our alliance with those dirty barbarians is
thin already.”
“Yes, your honor,” Fraser said, stepping forward from where he’d stood
in the doorway. “He told me himself.”
Shame made my face burn. I did tell him, and I regretted it immensely.
After coming home from another ball empty handed, without any women to
court, Father lost his temper with me and called me useless. I’d barely
choked back the tears until I got to my room. Fraser found me there
sobbing. I wasn’t sure how to get Father to leave it alone. And I was scared
I’d be forced into a relationship with a woman eventually, knowing I
wouldn’t be able to touch them that way. It honestly repulsed me. Fraser
had played the comforting brother, patting my shoulder and urging me to
speak to him. He said he wanted to help, but he couldn’t until he knew what
was going on. I suspected he already had his suspicions. All he needed was
a confirmation, and I literally spelled it out for him. He said he’d help me,
that he’d find a way to get Father to turn his attention away from me. I
never thought he’d go so far as to sell me out to the barbarians.
“Well, then I guess we’ve got ourselves a volunteer,” the mayor said,
pushing to his feet. He moved to stand over me, a sneer on his face. “You’re
doing our town a great service by sacrificing yourself to the cause. Do us all
a favor and do what’s needed to keep them happy. If they bring you back,
you’ll face the noose instead. We don’t want any of your kind tainting our
town.”
They gave me no chance to defend myself. No option but to accept their
demands or die. And two days later, I found myself with my wrists bound,
standing just inside the gate to town, staring down the stampede that was
barreling toward us. I should have never trusted my brother. I shouldn’t
have trusted anyone. Now, thanks to my family, I was going to die. There
was no way they’d want anything to do with me. It’d be lucky if they didn’t
take it as an insult that the town offered me instead of a woman.
As the barbarian representatives came closer, I closed my eyes. I didn’t
want to watch what happened next. I just wanted it all to be over. Maybe, if
I was behaved enough, they’d make it quick when they killed me.

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 Two

“R ath. You’re needed outside,” my clan brother Verus said as he poked

his head into my tent. I’d been in the middle of sharpening my
blades for the next hunt, and I didn’t immediately look up at him. I
hated leaving things half finished.
“Who calls for me?”
“Orthorr,” he answered, his expression curious. He didn’t know for
what reason I was being called by the clan leader, only that he was sent to
fetch me. I finished my task, sticking the blade back in its sheath on my hip.
Pushing to my feet, I stretched my muscles. I assumed if the clan leader
wished to speak with me, it was for a fight. I was one of the biggest in the
clan, the best hunter, and I was called upon to assist in guarding or fighting
if the fighters of the clan were outnumbered. It didn’t happen often, but they
had gone out to gather the newest batch of women for the clan. Perhaps a
town had finally gotten brave enough to refuse them.
Ducking my head, I stepped out of my tent, following my brother to the
center of our village. We were nomads, we moved often, but during the
colder seasons, we settled near the forest for easier hunting. As the best
hunter, I was used to long days in the cold, and it didn’t bother me, but it
was always nice to sit by the massive fire that burned constantly in the
middle of our village.
Orthorr was waiting for me, his frown pronounced by the wrinkles on
his face. He was an elder and he didn’t hunt anymore, but he taught me the
skill himself when I was just a boy, and I was always happy to see him.
“Village leader, you sent for me?” I asked, putting a fist to my chest
with a slight bow in greeting. He returned the gesture with a fist to his chest
and a dip of his chin before tipping his head towards the receiving tent. I
fought off a grimace. I had no interest in what lay in there.
“One of the towns offered a male. I considered sending him back, but
you’ve been alone too long. Go see if he interests you before I decide.”
I wasn’t the only male in our clan that had no interest in females. There
were others. A few who weren’t interested in relationships at all. But most
were open about their conquests and not interested in settling down. I had
no interest in trysts. I wanted a bondmate, someone to take care of. But
since the towns who were beholden to us only sent females, I thought that
was impossible.
With a certain level of wariness, I stepped into the tent. The females
were offered as a tribute to protect their towns. They were supposed to be
volunteers, but more often than not, they were sent without true consent. It
took those ones longer to accept that they were in good hands. My clan
didn't hurt females. We needed them to continue our line. Our clan, like so
many others of our line, produced only males. We needed females from
outside our clan to continue on. None would be forced, but after a while,
they would learn to accept their status as a place of honor. We would truly
cease to exist without them.
Loud sniffles and whimpers filled the room as I stepped inside. It was
dark, given the late hour, and the females couldn’t yet be trusted with an
open flame without supervision. There were two guards on either side of the
tent, watching over them, but they wouldn’t harm them. They were only
there to keep them from running off. It was dangerous to wander the forest
alone, especially if you didn’t know it like I did.
For a moment, I couldn’t see the male Orthorr referred to. It couldn’t be
a joke, Orthorr was not the teasing type, so I considered maybe he’d gotten
out and was going to check with the guards when I saw him. In the sliver of
light from the fire, he sat curled in a ball, his arms wrapped around his
knees and his head down. I would have walked past him had his hair been
any longer. But males of the towns often kept their hair short, like this one
did. He was a tiny thing, no bigger than a female, with pale skin and a slim
figure. I stepped up to him, curious, and froze when he looked up at me.
Even in the dark of the tent, I could see how pale his eyes were. Without the
sun to offer its light, I couldn’t be sure, but they looked like the early
morning sky, pale blue and enormous. They filled with tears and he scooted
farther away from me, bumping into a female behind him.
His fear of me made me sick to my stomach and the need to care for
him was overwhelming. I scooped him up without forethought. He cried
out, frightened, but I wasn’t going to harm him. All the tributes would be
assigned a male to watch over them eventually. To better teach them our
ways and keep them safe. This male would get the same treatment from me.
I would protect him and care for him until he was trusted enough to assist
with tasks for the clan or… Well, women who became with child were
allowed to stay with their chosen males and merely rest, but that wouldn’t
happen with him. Perhaps he could join me on the hunt if he was interested
in such things. Given his petite frame, I kind of doubted it.
If we were compatible, I’d do whatever necessary to get him to choose
me. Orthorr was right, I’d been alone a long time.
Stepping out of the receiving tent, I masked my discomfort at the male’s
tears. I wanted to comfort him, but our languages weren’t the same. Only a
few spoke the tongues of the town clans. They gathered the women and
brought them here. If I wanted the male to know he was safe, I’d need to
show him until he understood me better.
Orthorr turned as I stepped out, raising an eyebrow at me. “He suits you
then?”
I didn’t answer outside of a slight nod. Time would tell if we were truly
compatible, but he was very beautiful, and he called to my instincts to care
for him. It was enough for him to be assigned to my care. Orthorr nodded.
“We will accept his tribute, then. Tyarr will bring your meals to your
tent. Uttin said he was well behaved, so he should not cause trouble, but
watch him closely. We’ve never accepted a male tribute before. He could be
a trap.”
“Yes, clan leader. Thank you for calling for me.”
The little male cried the entire way back to my tent. Not loud sobs like
most females would. He muffled the sound by biting his bottom lip, his
body shaking from the effort. His hands were bound at the wrist, which was
normal, though the rope looked old and scratchy. Even in the light of the
moon, I could see the irritation on his slender wrists. I would remove that
soon and apply some healing ointment.
 Ducking into my tent, I sat him down on the pallet I’d used as a bed
since we settled here. It wasn’t much. I was used to sleeping in trees or on
the ground on long hunts. Hopefully, the male wouldn’t be too upset about
it. I’d never taken a tribute before. I hadn’t prepared for this.
Once I released him, I waited to see if he would run or try to fight. He
did neither, hugging his knees tightly again. Good. That would make this
easier. I removed the rope first, biting back a snarl at the mangled skin
underneath. How long had he been tied up like this to have such injuries?
I’d never seen a female with skin so badly damaged. I wanted to apply
ointment, but I worried about doing so without cleaning it first. I could
bring him to the river to bathe, as most of the clan did, but given how
frightened he was, that seemed like a bad idea. Instead, when Tyarr brought
our meals, I requested a bowl of warm water from him. Tyarr was a kind
brother, and graciously retrieved the water for me. I could see his curiosity,
he wanted to meet the little male, but now was not the time. He would be
kept separate for a few days to not overwhelm him while learning about his
new home.
The male hadn’t moved when I ducked back into my tent. The tent was
lit with a lantern in the corner, giving me a better look at him. He looked
disheveled and dirty, his clothes torn in some places. That couldn’t have
been from us. My clan treated tributes well. I wished I could ask how he
came to be this way, but the language barrier prevented it. With a sigh, I put
the bowl aside and searched my things. It was all too big for him. I could
request new outfits from those who made the clothing, or I could sew
something myself. My mother had taught me that a male was useless if he
couldn’t be sufficient on his own. But that would take time. For tonight,
we’d have to make do.
Pulling out my smallest tunic, I set it aside. I knew the town people
wore clothes under their clothes, but I had no such things and my legwear
was far too big. The tunic would be long enough to cover all of him,
though, so hopefully it was enough.
Turning back to him, I hesitated when he flinched and hugged his legs
tighter. I tried to show him through my face that I wasn’t going to hurt him,
but he didn’t understand and tears spilled constantly down his cheeks. With
a defeated sigh, I decided it was best to get the bathing over quickly. I
pulled his soiled clothes off him, tuning out his whimpers and pleas. I did
not blame him for doubting me. It only made me more determined to prove
him wrong. I ran a wet cloth over his skin, wiping away the dirt and sweat. I
was careful but thorough around his injured wrists, and wrapped them with
another cloth after I applied the ointment I got from my hunting bag. It was
easier to carry it with me than constantly return to the healers for treatment.
I was glad for it now.
When I set to remove his legwear, he cried harder, trying to push my
hands away as he shook his head. I wished I could leave them, but they
were soiled and smelled terrible. He needed something clean. Carefully, so I
didn’t hurt him, I took his hands in one of mine, removing his legwear and
his little clothes underneath with the other. I purposely avoided looking at
his intimate parts, to give him his privacy, and quickly cleaned his legs and
feet. I offered it to him to get his private areas, and he hastily cleaned
himself before trying to scoot away again. I couldn’t allow that yet. I wasn’t
finished.
Tugging the tunic over his head seemed to settle him enough to
whimper instead of full blown cries of fear. Normally, I would have waited
on the tunic so it wouldn’t get wet, but I thought it was better for him to be
covered. Instead, I maneuvered him so he was lying over an uncovered
portion of the ground, his head supported by my hand so I could pour water
through his hair. He flinched and whimpered, but seemed to finally
understand what I was doing because he didn’t fight me anymore. I rubbed
my fingers through his hair to get what dirt out I could and poured more to
rinse it. Once he was more comfortable, I’d take him to the river to bathe
more effectively.
The last thing I cleaned was his face. Tear stains streaked through the
dirt there, and he squeezed his eyes shut when I started, like he was
expecting rough treatment. I gentled my hand as much as I could, wiping
away the dirt and tears carefully. When he finally opened his eyes, I felt my
breath catch in my chest again. Pale blue and so fearful.
“You are safe,” I murmured, though I knew he couldn’t understand me.
Hopefully my tone would be enough. “I won’t hurt you.”

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 Three

W
hen the barbarian brought me back to his tent and started stripping
me, I expected the worst. I had no hope of fighting him off. He
towered over me and the muscles of his arms were probably larger
than my head. I could only cry and beg for him to have mercy. And he did.
He only stripped me long enough to get me clean before dressing me again.
Then he traded the bowl of water for a bowl of food and fed it to me by
hand when I was too scared to move until I felt safe enough to take it
myself.
The food wasn’t bad, fire smoked meats and some kind of vegetable I
didn't recognize. I wasn’t really worldly, having only ever experienced what
was to offer in our town, so I couldn’t say what he was feeding me. Only
that it was warm and filling and he let me eat as much as I wanted. After
two and a half days without a meal, I was starving and finished everything
he gave me. He seemed pleased, the corners of his mouth kicked up in a
small smile. He offered me more from his own bowl, but I shook my head. I
didn’t want him to go hungry just because the mayor had refused to feed me
while we were waiting for the barbarians to fetch me. Besides, any more
food and I would be sick.
For the first time in days, I was clean, fed, and warm. Fatigue dragged
at my senses, but I fought against it, too scared to close my eyes for long.
He must have noticed, though, because he frowned and wiped off his hands
before scooping me up again and moving me over to the makeshift bed. He
didn’t crawl in to join me, or make a move to take advantage of me. He just
tucked me in and turned down the lantern, finishing his meal in the dark. I
tried to keep my eyes open and on him, to make sure he didn’t come after
me, but fatigue won out and I fell asleep before too long.
I woke up while it was still dark to my whole body shaking. It was
freezing and while there were blankets below me to protect me from the
ground and one above me, it wasn’t enough. I curled in on myself, trying to
tuck my legs into the overly large tunic for warmth. It was when my teeth
started to chatter that the barbarian woke up. He’d been asleep next to me,
facing the flap of the tent’s entrance, but he turned over and I could feel him
staring at me in the dark. I clenched my teeth hard enough to make my jaw
hurt to stop the chatter, but I was still shaking. I was never a very good
actor.
A large arm came around my waist, drawing me against the barbarian’s
chest. I stiffened, afraid that now that we were awake and in bed together,
he’d finally take advantage, but he only turned me over and tucked my head
under his chin, wrapping himself around me. I didn’t understand why until
the warmth sank into my skin. Relief overwhelmed me as my body relaxed.
He was warm and holding me to keep me warm, too. It didn’t take long for
the fatigue to drag me back to sleep again, and I stayed curled up against
him until morning.
When I woke again, it was lighter. The sun hadn’t quite risen yet, but I
could see better in the tent. I was still cuddled up against the large
barbarian, using his body heat to keep warm. A part of me wished I could
go back to sleep and pretend for a little while longer that I wasn’t sold off
by my own father to a barbarian clan that might very well kill me as soon as
I proved not useful. I wasn’t a strong or clever man. They would be
disappointed once they realized how useless I was.
I bit my lip, fighting back tears. More proof of what a useless man I
was. Before her passing, my mother used to call me ‘sensitive’. My brothers
called me pathetic. I learned to hide my tears as much as possible to not
garner their attention. I didn’t want to catch the barbarian’s attention either.
Only, it’d been hours since I was last able to relieve myself. It was the
discomfort that woke me. I wasn’t sure where to go or if I was even allowed
to relieve myself without supervision, but I didn’t want to wake the
barbarian and earn his ire to ask. I squirmed uncomfortably, willing myself
to wait, but my movements were too erratic because the barbarian stirred
and opened his eyes, his brows drawing together slowly.
He asked me something, but I couldn’t understand him. I shook my
head helplessly, fear and discomfort at war in my mind. Would he lash out
like my father did?
Sitting up, he tried again, gesturing at me with a questioning look. I
took it to mean him asking me what was wrong, but it was embarrassing to
answer him. I felt my face flush, dropping my gaze to my lap.
“I need to relieve myself…”
He was quiet for a moment and when I looked up, he seemed confused.
My body protested the wait and in a desperate move, I squirmed and
pressed my hands into my lap, trying to hold out.
Body language worked better than talking because his eyebrows shot up
and he pushed to his feet, leading me outside to a trench used in place of a
toilet. He said something to me again and when I frowned, he scrubbed the
back of his neck with his own frown. He pointed to the forest and shook his
head no. Then mimicked running with his fingers on his palm. No running.
I wished I could tell him I wasn’t brave enough to do such a thing so he
wouldn’t hurt me, but I could only nod to show I understood. He gave me
privacy, stepping past the line of trees so I could do my business. When I
was through, I hurried to where he was waiting, not wanting to give him
any reason to harm me. He’d been kind so far, but I didn’t trust it to last.
He brought me back to his tent and urged me back to bed. The sun was
just rising, so it was still early, but he didn’t join me like he had before.
Instead, he wrapped me tightly in the blanket to keep me warm and sat on
the ground near the lantern that he relit. It looked like he was mending his
clothes and the methodical movements of his hands lulled me back to sleep.
When I woke for the third time, the sun was up and the tent was well lit.
The barbarian was still working, his expression calm and focused. While he
wasn’t paying attention to me, I got a better look at him in the light. He had
long brown hair that was shaved on the sides, as well as a thick beard. He
slept shirtless, which was astounding given how cold it got. Then again, he
was warm like a fire even in the middle of the night, so the cold must not
have bothered him. His arms and chest were covered in tattoos, symbols
carved in ink on his skin. I didn’t know the meaning of any of it, but it was
kind of pretty if you looked at it in the right light. When he’d come to fetch
me, he’d had necklaces on, but they were set aside for now. All that
decorated thick muscles and a wide chest. Even his thighs were massive. I
was beyond terrified of what might be in his pants, especially if he planned
to use it on me, but thankfully he slept in trousers the night before. If it was
proportional to his frame, then I might have had nightmares.
Like he could feel me studying him, he turned and raised an eyebrow at
me. I dropped my gaze immediately, fighting back the urge to hide under
the blanket.
“Korvash,” the barbarian said. I didn’t know what the word meant, but
when I gathered enough courage to look up at him, he beckoned me with a
wave of his hand. I whimpered, terrified of what he wanted from me, but he
waited patiently and didn’t speak again until I got off the bed and moved
closer, careful to keep the blanket around my shoulders. The tunic he gave
me kept me covered, but it was too large and kept slipping off my shoulders
when I moved around too much.
He rewarded me coming closer with a soft smile and a nod of his head.
Then, without a word, he lifted me to my feet and stood me in front of him.
I sucked in a sharp breath and tried to edge away, but he held fast to my
hips, moving the blankets out of his way.
“P-please, no…” I whimpered. Not that he could understand. For all I
knew, in his language, it sounded like I was saying yes.
He didn’t pull off my clothes or anything nefarious. Instead, he held up
a pair of trousers that actually looked my size, holding them against me to
measure better. He frowned, pursing his lips, but it was hard to truly look
while I was wearing the tunic. It was basically a dress and hid my body
from him.
To make things easier, I held out a shaky hand for the material. “I-I can
try them on?”
When he shot me a questioning look, I mimicked pulling the trousers
on. It was embarrassing to act out my intentions, but it helped and he
nodded decisively, handing me the clothing. He even gave me his back for
privacy, pawing through a wooden box while I slipped the trousers on. They
were a little wide around the waist, but just right on the length. I cautiously
tapped his shoulder, stiffening when he turned around. He pointed at the
hem of the tunic and raised an eyebrow at me, silently asking to lift it. I
nodded and squeezed my eyes shut, willing it all to be over quickly.
He muttered under his breath, pinching the sides until they fit better.
Then he ushered me out of them with a gentle tug, making sure the tunic
covered me in the process. He wasn’t at all what I was expecting. When the
towns talked about the barbarians, they compared them to wild animals who
raped and pillaged and would gut you as soon as look at you. This one was
nothing like that. In the short time I’d known him, he bathed me, took care
of my chafed wrists, fed me, and was now making me clothes. From
scratch? Or maybe from his own, tailoring them to fit me instead. Which
meant he was literally giving me the clothes off his own back. Would it
always be this way? Or was he just buttering me up, so I was more
compliant when he finally showed his true colors?

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 Four

A
fter making trousers that fit me, the barbarian disappeared long
enough to fetch us breakfast. Leftover meat from the night before,
from the looks of it, fresh bread and a bowl of fruit. It looked
delicious, and it only took a little encouragement to get me to eat. I was still
hungry after being starved for two days. While we were eating, he held up
each fruit and said their name. The ones I was familiar with, I said in my
own language to show I understood.
“Blueberry.”
He mulled it over, trying his hand at mimicking me instead of me
copying him. “Blue…berry.”
I nodded, and he looked proud of himself. Then his eyes narrowed and
instead of picking up another fruit, he pointed at me instead.
For a minute, I thought he wanted to know the word for shirt, and I
pinched it while saying the word out loud, but he shook his head, knocking
my hand away before putting his massive palm on my chest. My heart
stuttered for a moment, and when I didn’t understand, he touched his chest
with his other hand.
“Rath.”
“Rath…” I repeated slowly. He nodded and tapped two fingers to his
chest. It finally clicked and I looked up in surprise. “Your name is Rath.”
That was too much, he didn’t understand me, but I understood what he
wanted now. I debated telling him my full name, but I always hated it, and I
had an opportunity to use something different now. It wasn’t like my father
was going to show up to berate me for disrespecting the family name.
Putting my hand next to his, I introduced myself.
“Finn.”
“Finn,” he repeated, eyes soft. I had to duck my head to escape the
intensity of his stare, and he eventually moved on, giving me a chance to
get my heart rate under control. Were barbarians supposed to be so sweet?
He continued on that thread for a while, pointing at things and saying
them in his language, then encouraging me to repeat him. He only stopped
when I yawned for the third time. Despite his help the night before and the
nap that morning, I was still tired. I didn’t sleep much the past few days.
While waiting for the barbarians to arrive, the mayor had the marshal take
me to jail. Because, to them, having sexual urges for something other than
women was bad enough to imprison someone. None of my family ever
came to say goodbye. I was alone and scared and I worried about what
they’d do to me if I actually fell asleep. Now that I was at least semi safe, I
kept nodding off.
Rath tipped his head toward the bed, giving me a significant look. I
shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to come off as more useless than I
already was. When he reached for me, I flinched and his hand drew back,
his expression pained.
“I-I’m sorry!” I rushed out, panic lacing my tone. I hadn’t meant to do
that. I just couldn’t figure out what he was going to do next. I squeezed my
eyes shut, waiting for him to lash out for the insult, but when his hands
cupped my face, they were gentle and warm.
My eyes fluttered open, and I took in his expression. Pain, worry,
understanding. No anger that I could see. His thumbs stroked over my
cheeks and he pulled me closer to press his forehead against mine,
murmuring low under his breath. I didn't understand the words, but his tone
was soothing. This time, when my eyes drifted closed, it was to hide the
tears filling them. In my entire life, I’d never been treated so gently. Like I
was something precious. I wanted to enjoy it while it lasted, before he
finally figured out how useless I was and stopped being so kind.
F or the next few days , we settled into a sort of routine . R ath got
up with me early in the morning to take me to the trench to relieve myself
before sending me back to bed. Then he fed me, we practiced his language,
and he showed me things that were unique to his people. The necklaces he
wore were different for everyone, but since I hadn’t been allowed to interact
with anyone yet, I didn’t understand how. My grasp on the language was
too new to follow everything he was saying. He proudly showed me his
knives a few times, and I figured out eventually that he was a hunter for his
people. He had a bow that was almost as big as I was that he used to hunt,
as well as small knives he could throw and bigger ones to take down larger
animals after wounding them. Hunting wasn’t really my thing, but he
seemed happy to show me, and I wanted to do what I could to keep him in a
good mood.
Not once in the past few days since I arrived did he give me a reason to
think he’d hurt me. He held me every night to keep me warm, he fed me,
and he made me clothes by hand. And not once did he get angry with me
when I woke him at night because I’d had another nightmare of my father
kicking me out and couldn’t stop crying. He just petted my hair and
hummed a little tune until I settled enough to sleep again. But I still found it
hard to fully trust him. I wished I could understand more of his language.
Maybe then I could understand what he wanted from me.
“Rath!” a voice called from outside the tent, followed by a string of
their language too fast for me to translate. Rath looked up from where he
was carving something out of wood, frowning at the flap entrance to the
tent. He’d started it the day after I arrived, but I didn’t have the skill to ask
what he was making. He answered, though slower than the person outside. I
couldn’t catch all of it, but a word I was familiar with popped up. Hunt.
“Hunt?” I repeated, tipping my head.
Rath nodded and sighed heavily. He pushed to his feet and like every
time he stood next to me, especially when I was still sitting, I gaped at his
massive form. Were barbarians part giant?
My expression always seemed to amuse him. He offered me a hand,
pulling me to my feet, a smile tugging at his lips. I blushed and ducked my
head. If I could, I’d try to explain myself. My town didn’t have tall men.
Yes, most were taller than me, but not by as much as he was.
“Come,” Rath said, squeezing my hand gently.
 Surprised, I looked up at him. We were leaving the tent? Aside from
relieving ourselves, we hadn’t done that yet.
He paused long enough to grab his blades and tie them to his belt before
taking my hand and leading me outside. The man who’d called out to him
was waiting, a little shorter than Rath, but still several hands taller than me,
with a more trim build and braids in his hair. He smiled brightly at Rath,
squeezing his shoulder, before turning a curious look towards me.
“Verus, my clan brother,” Rath introduced, gesturing to the man. Then
he turned to his friend. “My Finn.”
My cheeks burned at the possessiveness in his tone. Not just Finn. His
Finn.
A part of me worried how the clan would react to Rath claiming a man
so readily, but Verus didn’t even blink. He said something in a teasing tone,
elbowing his friend, and ducked with a laugh when Rath tried to cuff him.
He didn’t seem to care either way. Could it be that this clan didn’t care
about same sex couples?
Not that Rath and I were a couple. I didn’t know what we were. He took
care of me, but he didn’t ask for affection or try to touch me in unwelcome
ways. Petting my hair when I was scared was nice, and he held me at night
to keep me warm, but he never pushed for more. What did that make us?
Verus led the way through the rows of tents. I hadn’t looked much, but
from what I’d seen, the little village was laid out like a wheel and spokes,
all tents circling a massive fire in the middle. There were smaller fires here
and there, but the one in the middle was where they congregated together.
That’s where Rath brought me that morning. The air was cool outside the
tent, so it was nice to be near the warm flame. Rath steered me toward some
cushions nearby and pushed me onto one, putting up a finger to ask me to
wait before he walked away. I was a little nervous, I felt safer with him, but
he wasn’t gone long. He brought a woman with him and my stomach sank
thinking maybe this was his wife or girlfriend. It would be just my luck that
the first guy who treated me kindly enough to even consider a relationship
was taken.
She smiled and nodded as Rath spoke to her, stopping a few feet in front
of me so he could do introductions. “My Finn, meet Zoya.” He said another
word I didn’t recognize, and when I frowned, she spoke for herself.
“That word means healer. I’m one of the clan healers. It’s nice to meet
you, Finn.”
 My eyebrows shot up and my mouth fell open. “You speak my
language? Does everyone?”
“No, not everyone,” she replied with a shake of her head. “I’ll be happy
to explain it to you, but first, Rath asked for me to stay with you while he
goes on a hunt. He’ll be gone a few hours, and he doesn’t want to leave you
all alone. Would you be comfortable with that, or would you prefer to go
back to his tent to rest?”
I opened my mouth to reply with an immediate yes, since I really
wanted to talk to someone who understood me. But then it clicked that she
said he’d be gone for a few hours. I looked around hesitantly. Rath proved
that it was safe to be around him, but I didn’t know anyone else. I hadn’t
been around anyone but him. Were they all as nice as he was, or would
others take issue with a smaller man not contributing in any way. Should I
have volunteered to work?
Rath must’ve seen my panic because he kneeled in front of me and
cupped my face, his brows drawn together tightly. He said something, but I
didn’t understand him. I was too panicked to run through all the words he’d
taught me so far.
“He said you’re safe,” Zoya murmured. She sat beside me, worry and
understanding written on her face. “He’s not lying. You’re safe here.
Tributes are important to the clan. It’s a place of honor for them.”
I wanted to shake my head, but I couldn’t with the way Rath was
holding me. “I’m not a woman. It’s not the same. I–” I choked back tears,
trying to pull Rath’s hands away so I could hide. He wouldn’t budge and a
few tears slipped out anyway. I whimpered, waiting for Rath to finally lose
his patience, but he never did. He gently brushed the tears away with his
thumbs and rested his forehead against mine, muttering something I didn’t
understand. Zoya understood him, though, and huffed out a laugh.
“He wants to take you with him. Pretty sure going on a hunt would only
scare you. The animals out there can be terrifying.” She said something to
Rath, shaking her head at him. He answered, but he sounded put out about
whatever they were talking about. Zoya turned back to me.
“I know things are overwhelming and scary, and it’s completely
understandable to want to hide away, but he’s planning on rushing to get
back to you and that can be dangerous. So for his sake, can you sit here
with me so he knows you’ll be okay and he can do his thing safely? I
promise, no one will hurt you,” she cajoled, putting her hand on my
shoulder supportively.
I didn’t want Rath to get hurt just because I was being a big baby about
everything. I nodded quickly, summoning what little bravery I had. “I-I’m
fine here. He doesn’t need to rush on my account. I’m okay.”
Thankfully, Zoya translated for me. For a moment, it didn’t look like
Rath believed her. He gave her a look that said as much anyway. She sighed
and rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of affection in her smile. He
couldn’t really argue with her, Verus and a few others called for him, so he
couldn’t linger.
He shot another worried glance at me, and I did my best to hide my
expression so he wouldn’t feel rushed. Touching his hands that were still
cupping my cheeks, I murmured, “I’m okay.”
That time, he seemed to understand me. He nodded and in a move I
didn’t expect, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead,
lingering for a moment before releasing me and pushing to his feet. He said
something else to Zoya before he walked away, joining his friends and
mounting a much more enormous version of a horse. He glanced over his
shoulder, studying me with a frown, and I did my best to show him it was
okay. I wasn’t going anywhere. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

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 Five

A
fter Rath left, I curled in on myself a little, circling my arms around
my legs. The village center was busy, people moving about and
talking with one another. None of them paid us much mind. A few
smiled and nodded politely at Zoya, but they didn’t come to talk to her. She
sat beside me with a patient smile, her legs curled under her and her posture
relaxed.
“So, how have language lessons been going?”
When I shot her a questioning look, she lifted a shoulder. “We all went
through the same thing. Usually, you get a week before you’re introduced to
the clan so you’re more comfortable, but Rath is the best hunter and they
want to throw a feast soon. One of the women just had a baby. It’s
something to celebrate.”
Curiosity loosened my tongue a little. “Everyone? Even male tributes?”
She pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Well, I’d assume so, but you’re the
first, so I can’t really answer if there would be any differences.”
My stomach sank. “Th-The first? W-Why?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I think the original agreement said women, but
you’d have to ask one of the elders about that.”
“A-Are they going to send me back?” The idea of that was more
terrifying than staying here. I knew what waited for me if I went back. I had
nowhere else to go.
 Startled, Zoya waved her hands. “No, no! You’re not being sent back.
I’m pretty sure Rath would gut someone if they tried. No, I was just saying
that since the original agreement said women, towns never really deviated
from that. You’re the first. But since there are a few men here who prefer
other men, they aren’t opposed to it. Most of them aren’t ready to settle
down, though.” She wrinkled her nose a little. “I think you got lucky with
Rath. He’s the calm one. His brother, Godr, can’t sit still for anything.
There’s a reason he trains the horses. He’s the one who can keep up with
them.”
“I thought his brother was Verus?” Unless he had more than one. We
hadn’t gotten around to discussing family yet.
“Yes and no,” she said, tipping her hand back and forth. “The men of
the clan call each other clan brothers. They see their clan as their family.
But Godr is his blood brother. They have the same parents.”
She took some time explaining clan hierarchy to me. It was easier to
follow than the hierarchy of my home town. The clan leader made all the
big decisions. Those who proved themselves as the best in their specific
areas, like Rath as a hunter, led those under them and reported to the clan
leader with questions or reports. A vast majority were soldiers of a sort,
protecting the clan from rival clans or towns who tried to oppose them. The
rest took jobs to support the clan. Hunters, farmers, clothes makers. None
was seen as more important than the other, and they were all on pretty equal
footing. It was fascinating to think about, and I found myself hanging on
Zoya’s every word as she explained it all.
“Back when I lived in town, they always saw the soldiers above
everyone else, but that made no sense to me. The soldiers wouldn’t be able
to do their jobs without the clothiers or the blacksmiths or the cooks. Just
like those people wouldn’t be able to do their jobs without the hunters and
gatherers. I love the way things work here. They all rely on each other, so
they are all equal. Except maybe the women.”
My brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
She sighed, pressing her lips together. “Well, it’s weird, but clans like
these somehow only produce baby boys. There has never been a recorded
girl born to a clan member. That’s why they need to go to town for tributes.
They can’t sustain their lifestyle without new members and they can’t have
kids without females. Since the continuation of the clan is so important,
they see tributes as a place of honor. A man can’t sit around in the clan and
do nothing, but a tribute can, especially if she’s pregnant. While we aren’t
really in a place of power, we’re treated with great respect and if someone
insulted us, it is treated almost like a crime. Not that it happens that often,
like I said, they see tributes as honorable, but it happens sometimes.”
I sank in on myself a little. “Should… Should I be working? Rath never
said anything. I’m not good at a lot. I can try…”
She shook her head, putting her hand on my arm to soothe me. “Relax.
Just because you’re the first male tribute doesn’t change your title. You
might not produce babies, but you do provide comfort and companionship
to our strongest hunter. If you want to work, we can ask around and find
you something to do, but right now your job is to learn the language, how
the clan works, and decide if you want to stay with your protector.”
My brows snapped together. “I have a choice?”
“Of course you do,” she assured me. “They don’t force people into
relationships. It can honestly take a while for tributes to find someone
they’re comfortable with. The first people they’re assigned to are their
protectors, who teach them the ways of the clan so they can understand
better that they are safe here. Then they are introduced to the clan proper. If
they choose not to stay with their protector, they can choose whoever they
want. Some even leave to other clans to see if there are better prospects out
there.”
It was nice to hear that they didn’t force people. Honestly, most of the
conversation was helpful. But it still felt like it didn't apply to me. I wasn’t a
woman. I couldn’t provide babies. I’d done nothing but cause trouble and
restless nights for Rath. What did they want with me?

A fter giving me a better idea of how things worked , Z oya gave me

a crash course in the language. She taught me how to ask for things,
important words like clan leader and healer, how to get help if someone was
hurt. She was firmer than Rath, forcing me to use full sentences, and she
invited a few other women over to join us and demanded they only speak in
the barbarian language to better expose me to it. Whenever I looked
confused, she translated, but mostly she encouraged me to listen and follow
along as best I could.
 Rath came back before supper, a large unfamiliar animal tied to his
horse’s back. Those who’d gone with him had smaller kills, but no one
seemed to care one way or another. They provided for the clan. That was
what was important. After handing off the animal to the cooks and his horse
to the handlers, he made a beeline for me. My heartbeat stuttered a little at
the intense look on his face. I worried for a moment that he was angry at me
for some reason. Maybe he expected me to find something to do while he
was gone. All of Zoya’s reassurances fled from my mind, and I bit back a
whimper when he stopped in front of me.
“Korvash,” he called, kneeling in front of me.
He reached for me, but Zoya stopped him with a harsh, “No.” It made
him freeze, and he looked surprised, but she narrowed her eyes and pointed
at his hands, saying something I didn’t quite catch. Rath withdrew his hands
with a frown and stood again. As terrifying as I found him, the idea of him
leaving was even worse and I sat a little straighter when he took a step
back.
“W-Wait, I didn’t mean–”
Rath froze again and a pained look flashed across his face. He looked
conflicted, though I didn’t understand why. I didn’t understand anything
that was happening. I just didn't want him to go.
“Finn,” Zoya called, her voice gentling a little. “I told him to go wash
first. He’s got blood on his hands from the hunt.”
Oh. My gaze dropped to his hands, which were stained red. She stopped
him from reaching for me because he would’ve probably gotten it on my
face had he done what it looked like he’d intended.
“I-I–” I didn’t know what to say. I stopped him from leaving, not
realizing that he wasn’t tossing me aside like my family had, and I didn't
have enough grasp of the language to take it back. My cheeks burned and I
dropped my gaze, wishing I could crawl under a rock somewhere. First I
was terrified of him, now I was clingy. I really was pathetic.
Rath kneeled again in front of me. He kept his hands to himself, instead
dipping his head to rest our foreheads together. It was an affectionate
gesture and it made my heart burst into a gallop in my chest. He murmured
something in his language, but I didn’t ask anyone for a translation. I
focused on his tone instead. No judgment, no annoyance. He was soothing
me.
 “I’m sorry,” I whispered, in his language for his benefit. He shook his
head, which was a little silly with the way we were pressed together.
“My Finn. No sorry,” he whispered back.
Oh, how I wanted to lean into that possessiveness. He made me feel
wanted, and I craved that feeling so much, I felt close to tears. I held back,
since I figured he wouldn’t go clean up if I cried. I didn’t want him to be
uncomfortable just to comfort me. But when he got back, I didn’t fight him
when he pulled me against his side. It was safe and warm and I needed it. I
needed him. Did he feel the same way about me?

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 Six

A
fter the first hunt, I felt more comfortable taking Finn out of my tent.
A part of me wished to keep him to myself, but that was selfish. He
hadn’t chosen me back yet. He would be introduced eventually.
Orthorr wanted to introduce him to the clan at the new life ceremony the
following evening. Earlier than most tributes, but he was well behaved
when I was hunting and I didn't think he was interested in running or
causing trouble. He’d need a translator, since we hadn’t gotten very far in
his language learning, but Zoya seemed fond enough of him and when I
asked, she said she would be happy to sit with him and help him to
understand.
Today, I had plans to introduce Finn to my stallion. When we were
walking back to my tent the evening prior, I saw his gaze stray to the field
the horses were kept in. He looked curious, and Vann was a good horse. A
good judge of character. They should meet before any decisions are made.
Finn’s small hand tightened in mine and he edged closer to me when a
few of my clan brothers passed by. I pressed my lips together to hide my
frown. Maybe he wasn’t ready to meet the clan yet. He was still frightened.
The only people he seemed to trust were me and Zoya. As much pleasure as
it brought me that he seemed to trust me with his safety, I didn’t want to
push too hard, too fast.
I thought to mention it to Orthorr, but we arrived at the field before I
could change course and Finn stood on his toes for a better look, curiosity
overwhelming his fear. He weighed less than a full grown zorvash, so it was
easy for me to lift him to give him a better vantage.
“Oh!” He clung uneasily to my shoulder, seated on my forearm. His
wide, pale blue eyes locked on me, a flush overtaking his cheeks. I wanted
to explore that expression, but I held myself back, jerking my chin toward
the field. He took in an unsteady breath, turning his attention to where I
directed.
“Many,” he breathed. His grasp of the language had grown since sitting
with Zoya, and I appreciated his dedication to learning. Not all tributes
cared to learn. Some didn’t know the language at all.
“Mm. One for everyone.” I doubted he could fully understand what I
said, but it was important to immerse him. He’d understand eventually.
“Everyone?” he repeated with a tip of his head. “Tributes?”
Ah. He understood more than I thought. I considered his question with a
frown. “No. Not all. Too big.”
While the women had the option to learn to ride, many complained the
stallions were too big to ride. The towns had smaller horses, but no one had
ever bothered to look into purchasing some. The women rode with their
protectors while we were on the move. Or in a carriage if riding didn’t suit
them.
“Oh…” Finn looked disappointed at my answer. If he wanted to learn,
I’d teach him, but maybe not yet. He was still frightened and the handlers
could be obnoxious. Like Godr. He came our way, leading Vann towards the
fence where we were waiting. My blood brother had a big grin on his face,
his eyes straying more than once to Finn. I set him down and tucked him
against me, glaring at my brother in warning. My Finn.
“Rath, my brother! You called for me?”
I made a face. “I called for Vann. You are only to bring him to me. Go
back to your work.”
“Don’t be cruel,” he chided, leaning against the fence that kept the
larger threats away from the stallions. They could fight with hooves and
teeth, but they rested better with some protection and guards.
Proving that Vann was a better brother than Godr, the stallion nipped at
his elbow and bullied him out of the way, leaning over the fence to press his
forehead against mine. I stroked his neck, humming my approval, while
Godr complained like he had his heart broken.
 I ignored him, stepping back and pushing Finn closer to introduce the
two. “My Finn. Meet Vann.”
He trembled where he stood, such a gentle spirit, so I stepped up behind
him with a hand on his hip, using the other to lift his palm to Vann’s nose.
Vann was a patient stallion, he didn’t rush the frightened man. He sniffed
curiously and nudged Finn’s hand in greeting before lowering his head
closer to Finn’s level.
“He wants to greet,” I said, showing Finn by pressing my forehead to
Vann’s for a moment. Finn took an unsteady step forward, mimicking my
movements. He wasn’t tall enough to reach Vann’s forehead, even with
Vann’s help, so I lifted him again, giving him a boost so they could greet
properly.
I watched, fascinated, as Finn melted against the stallion, a smile
stretching across his face as Vann shifted to tuck the smaller man under his
chin. It was a gesture to comfort, something I did to Finn when he woke at
night in tears. Finn took it as such and when I set him on his feet, he moved
closer, cuddling the massive stallion, tears swimming in his eyes.
“He likes stallions,” Godr said with an obnoxious smile. “Perhaps I
should take over his care.” He was watching Finn like a man interested in
making a claim. It irritated me. I wanted to whisk Finn away back to my
tent, but watching him with Vann made me hesitate. I couldn’t take away
his joy.
“Don’t touch,” I growled at him.
He glanced at me, a teasing comment on his tongue, but he hesitated
when he saw my face. His brows drew together slowly.
“You intend to claim him.”
If he chose me, yes. Having Finn around soothed something inside me. I
wanted to keep him with me always. I couldn’t say that, though. I didn’t
want to sway Finn into thinking he didn't have a choice.
“We will go for a ride. You can go,” I said gruffly, purposely ignoring
the question.
Godr didn’t fight me, which was a first. He straightened and his
expression softened into something more kind. “You deserve a bondmate,
brother. I hope he accepts you, so you will be happy.”
He gripped my shoulder and squeezed affectionately. I returned the
gesture and jerked my chin toward the field, where two stallions were
standing off. “Your troublemaker is going to start a fight.”
 His head whipped over his shoulder and he sighed, exasperated,
shouting as he marched away. “Don’t start!” he bellowed. Not that the
stallion would listen. He was young and headstrong. He needed more time
to be trained.
Finn was still cuddled against Vann, but he watched us curiously,
craning his neck to see around Vann’s massive frame. “Everything okay?”
I hummed, hopping the fence and beckoning Finn closer. He looked
reluctant to leave his spot, but Vann nudged him to follow me, like a good
friend. I helped Finn over the fence and lifted him onto Vann’s back. He let
out a startled sound, clinging to Vann’s neck. Worried he would be too
frightened to enjoy it, I mounted Vann behind him, pulling the smaller man
against my chest so he felt more secure. He held tightly to my arm around
his waist, sucking in a breath when I urged Vann into motion. It was a
smooth ride, just around the fenced area, but after a few frightened
moments, Finn relaxed and enjoyed himself. And he was smiling when we
finished.
I found myself willing to do a great many things to earn that smile
again.

F or lunch , I took F inn back to my tent . I could only be selfish for

another day, and I used that as an excuse to get time alone with him. He
didn’t seem bothered by the separation, pointing out words he recognized
while he ate. He was picking it up quickly. I was proud of him for that.
“Rath?” His questioning tone drew my focus away from my meal. He
fumbled for the right words, his face flushing bright red as he asked, “Do
you enjoy males?”
My brow furrowed. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that at first. It was
when his blush deepened and he ducked his head that I clued in on what he
meant. “I am attracted to males. Are you?”
Admittedly, until this moment, I never thought to ask. He was a tribute,
so the assumption was that his preference was for males. Now I waited on
bated breath, worried I’d assumed when I shouldn’t have. I was willing to
try and convince him, maybe he just hadn’t experienced it yet, but it would
make things difficult. I wasn’t going to force him to stay if he was
uninterested in males. And he had no reason to be here if he was only
attracted to females.
Thankfully, he nodded, his voice small when he agreed. “I’m attracted
to males. That’s why…”
He said something in his own language, I couldn’t understand what, but
he looked ashamed. I wished I understood him better. None of the other
hunters knew much about the town languages. Only one had his own
bondmate, and he said the only town words she used with him were when
she was irate with him. Those weren’t helpful right now, though I did
demand he teach them to me, so I would be aware if Finn was upset with
me.
Reaching for him, I cupped his cheek, biting back a smile when he
leaned into the touch. I didn’t want him to think I took joy in his upset. But
his continued acceptance of my touch made me hopeful of the future. If I
kept showing him I wanted to care for him, perhaps he’d choose me back.

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 Seven

A
fter so many nights of waking up to nightmares, it was disconcerting
when the dreams shifted. Gone was my father’s angry snarl, and in its
place was Rath’s gentle touch and his steady patience. The way he
touched me started innocently enough, his roughened hands from so many
years of hunting running gently along my skin. I practically purred with
pleasure, plastering myself against him as his hands skimmed down my
back.
I was so deliriously happy, I almost didn’t register when his hands went
lower. He cupped my behind, squeezing suggestively, and a moan escaped
me. No one had ever touched me like that before. I liked it, wanted more,
but I didn’t know how to ask. And the more anxious I got, the more the
dream seemed to slip through my fingers. I fought against it, trying to keep
the dream going, but I woke up a few moments later, my erection hard and
arching and pressed up against Rath’s thigh.
Realization hit me like a bucket of cold water. My eyes flew open, and I
spun around so quickly, if Rath hadn’t been awake, he was now. Facing the
wall of the tent, I willed my erection to go away, but it refused to go. I was
still in Rath’s arms, the scent of him still strong in my nose. It was fuel to
the fire, and I felt my erection thicken even more at the reminder. I felt
close to reaching completion just lying there next to him. The humiliation
would be unbearable. He’d made me a few sets of clothes so I could change
when they got dirty, but I didn't want to soil them with my seed. He’d
notice. I could cry from embarrassment just thinking about it.
The embarrassment was what helped tamper my need. When Rath
finally released me and sat up, I was afraid to face him, worried he’d
noticed my problem, but he said nothing about it, waiting for me to follow
him outside to relieve ourselves. We took turns, Rath still giving me privacy
to do my business, and he offered me his hand on the way back. I took it
because it brought me comfort, despite my embarrassing reaction that
morning. And it always seemed to make him smile when I touched him.
Like it meant as much to him as it did to me.
We stayed in the tent that morning, though I wasn’t entirely sure why.
He seemed happy to bring me out the day before. Meeting his horse had
been lovely, and I kind of hoped he’d take me to see the animal again that
morning, but Rath seemed content to stay in the tent with me. I heard noises
outside, but Rath didn’t react to them, so it wasn’t anything unusual, I
guess.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. He was back to carving, though he still
hadn’t told me what he was making yet. It was circular, probably about the
size of my palm, but that was all the detail I could get.
Forming the sentence in my head first so I could say it properly, I asked,
“What’s the noise?”
He tipped his head, listening, before responding. “Preparation. We
celebrate new birth tonight. And introduce you to the clan.”
My stomach sank. Zoya explained that to me. After a tribute has gotten
more comfortable with the clan dynamics and their protectors, they’re
introduced to the clan as a whole. Not only to meet the people they’d be
living with, but also to give them the opportunity to find someone else to
connect with. I didn’t want that. I wanted to stay with Rath.
“Korvash. Don’t fear. You’re safe.”
“What does that word mean?” He’d called me it more than once, but
never translated it. And I was looking for any excuse to not think about
meeting the entire clan.
Setting down his carving, he reached for me, pulling me into his lap.
Like he could see right through me, he ignored my question, tucking my
head under his chin as he repeated. “You’re safe.”
I wanted so badly to trust him. He sounded so determined, like he’d
make sure I was safe, no matter what. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing
myself to let go and just trust him. It was going to be okay. Rath would
keep me safe.

M y outfit for meeting the clan wasn ’ t something R ath made for
me. It was brought to me by a woman with a rounded pregnant belly and
bright red curls. She stayed long enough to make sure it fit me before
wishing me luck and disappearing again.
I tugged self consciously at the material, trying to cover more of myself.
The flowy material of the trousers didn’t bother me so much. They cinched
at the ankles and were silky soft. It was the top that made me
uncomfortable. It wrapped around my waist and draped over my shoulder,
exposing half my chest. It could be worse. Rath wasn’t even wearing a shirt.
He had his necklaces and some kind of belt made of similar fabric as my
top, but otherwise, it was just him and his tattoos.
“Won’t you be cold?”
His brows furrowed as he turned to look at me. I lapsed into my own
language when I was nervous, and he didn't understand me. I tried again,
this time in his language.
“Rath not cold?”
The corner of his mouth ticked up, and he shook his head. “Fire warm.
It’s fine.”
Right. I forgot about that. The celebration was to be held in the village
center. Which made me feel better about getting cold, but it didn't help
make me more comfortable. I tugged the material again, biting back a
whimper.
Rath frowned, stepping up to me with his head tipped in question.
“What’s wrong?”
It was the second time he’d asked me that today, and this time it was
harder to be forthcoming. I didn’t want to complain and make him angry
with me. He’d been patient a long time, but if he wanted to hand me off,
tonight would be the night to do it. If I wanted him to keep me, I had to
keep him happy.
I shook my head, forcing a smile. “N-Nothing. Should we go?”
 He didn’t move, studying me for a moment before tugging the material
off my shoulder. I covered myself immediately, never fully comfortable
walking around shirtless. My brothers did it all the time, but I kept my tunic
on unless bathing. Rath didn’t pay me much mind, working around me as
he wrapped the material around my torso before draping it over my
shoulder again. It didn’t drape quite as long as before, but it covered all but
my shoulders and arms and the relief was overwhelming.
Tears pricked my eyes, and I ducked my head as I whispered a shaky,
“Thank you.”
He cupped my jaw, forcing my face back up, and stroked his thumb
over my cheek to dash the stray tear away. Instead of saying something, he
pressed another soft kiss to my forehead, leaning into it just long enough to
make my eyes slip closed in response to the sweet gesture. When he pulled
away, I almost rocked forward, chasing the affection only he could give me.
“Come. We meet the clan now.”
Right. I kept my face carefully neutral, though I probably wasn’t doing
a very good job of it. Rath didn’t comment when I clung to his arm as we
got closer to the crowded village center, nor did he push me away. He led
me through the crowd, introducing me to different members of his clan. It
hurt my heart when he didn’t call me his Finn, but he still took care of me
like he always did. He kept me closer to the fire, so I stayed warm, spoke
slowly so I understood him better, and when I started to get overwhelmed,
he pulled me toward the cushions to sit, tucking me against his side so I
could stay warm farther from the fire.
Zoya came to join us not long later, introducing me to her barbarian, a
large fighter named Khaul. His hair was shorter than Rath’s, but similarly
shaved on the sides. He had tattoos too, but they were marred in places with
scars, probably thanks to his profession. What surprised me the most was
that he spoke my language, just like Zoya. Stilted, it was obviously not his
first language, but still good enough for me to understand.
“You are most welcome, Finn. Tributes bring joy to the clan.”
“I, uh… Thank you…” I didn't really have a choice to come, but now
that I was here, I didn’t want to leave either.
“Has Rath shown you his favorite place?” he queried, tipping back a
cup full of some kind of alcohol. Rath had offered me some, and it was
sweet, but potent, and I ended up choking on it. Now I could only have
small sips of it from his cup, so I didn’t overdo it again.
 “What place?” I looked up and over my shoulder at Rath, who smiled
indulgently. He was quiet tonight, mostly watching the festivities, though he
was a steady presence at my back as I interacted with the few people who
approached me. Zoya helped translate too, which was nice.
Khaul jerked his chin toward the forest. “The hunter loves his forest. He
would live there alone if we didn’t force him to stay.”
“Oh…” I looked warily over at the forest. Rath had warned me against
going in there. He said it was dangerous. But he loved it anyway. I frowned,
dropping my eyes to my lap. I never liked going into scary places. My
brothers tricked me once into going into a hut on the outskirts of town.
They told me our father was waiting for me, only to lock me inside and
reveal that it was haunted. I cried for hours until someone from town heard
me and let me out. Nothing even happened, but I was frightened all the
same. I wasn’t sure I could handle walking around in a forest full of
dangers. Would that be a sticking point for Rath?
The clan leader called out to get everyone’s attention, drawing the focus
to a young woman with a bundle in her arms. The clan barked out a chant as
one, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Zoya explained
it was a chant to welcome the new babe to the clan, and after they were
through, each member would go greet the little thing and press a small dot
of ash to the babe’s skin. She said something about what it meant, but Rath
got up to join the line to meet the baby and pressed a kiss to the top of my
head and I tuned everything else out. He’d been a little standoffish since we
came out, but that was a good sign. Right?
The line was long and would obviously take a while, so when my
bladder started making demands, I tapped Zoya’s shoulder and asked what
to do.
She pursed her lips thoughtfully. “You should be fine to go on your
own. You’ve been introduced now, so you don’t need constant supervision.
I’ll let Rath know if he comes back before you’re through. Just go past
those tents. It’s not far.” She waved a hand in the direction of the trench. It
felt a little weird to go on my own after almost a week of constant
supervision, but my bladder wouldn’t be ignored and I didn't want to pull
Rath out of line to go with me. I figured if I made it quick, no one would
even notice my absence.
“So you’re the little whore they’re bending all the rules for.”
 I’d just finished and was tying my trousers again when someone spoke
behind me. Not a voice I recognized, but the tone was familiar. Filled with
disdain and superiority. My spine stiffened, and I turned slowly to face the
small group of women who’d appeared at my back. Five in total, all
unfamiliar to me. And all of them looked angry.
“I-I’m sorry?”
“You should be,” the middle one hissed. “This place was bad enough
without being tainted with people like you.”

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 Eight

L
ike a habit, my gaze drifted to where I’d left Finn. Not because I
believed he’d run, but because I knew he was still nervous and wanted
to check on him. When I noticed the spot next to Zoya was empty, my
shoulders tensed, and I immediately scanned the surrounding area. Where
had he gone?
“Brother!” Verus said brightly, clapping my shoulder as he sidled up
next to me. “You look well. How are things with Finn?”
“He’s not where I left him,” I murmured.
Verus tracked my gaze and frowned, but shrugged nonchalantly.
“Maybe he had to relieve himself. He was drinking with you, yes? I saw so
myself.”
I grunted in agreement, shuffling forward with the line to greet the new
babe. It was true, I had been giving Finn small drinks of my ale. If the need
arose, it would take me a while to get back to him, so going by himself
made sense. Still, a growing sense of unease thrummed through me. The
longer he was gone, the more I worried.
I was at the front of the line, next to greet the babe, when I heard Finn’s
scream. I moved on instinct, racing through the crowds toward where I’d
heard the sound. I nearly ran into a group of tributes who were wandering
toward the food tables, ducking around them in my haste to get to Finn. The
light was muted past the circle of tents and it took a moment for my eyes to
adjust to the darkness. I couldn’t see him and I hurried forward, worried
he’d run off into the trees, but a whimper halted my footsteps.
“Brother? What’s wrong?” Verus asked as he joined me. A few others
came as well, all frowning at me.
“Finn,” was all I said. I shushed him when he opened his mouth to ask
more questions, listening. They all fell silent. I cast around for a clue of
where Finn had gone. Another choked sob drifted on the wind, but it was
confusing. He sounded close, but I couldn’t see him anywhere.
“Brother…” Verus said again, this time gripping my shoulder. When I
glanced at him, his gaze was not on me, but lower, his finger pointed
toward the trench.
Horror slammed into me when I saw him. The trench was used by the
entire clan, and while it was drained regularly, it was not a place anyone
wanted to slip and fall. Most would have probably thrown down a rope and
asked for Finn to climb out himself, but the poor thing had fallen hard
enough to get stuck. He choked on sobs, trying to free himself, and I knew
he wouldn’t be able to manage it on his own. Without questioning it, I
climbed into the trench, ignoring the smell as I reached for Finn.
“N-No!” he protested, big tears streaming down his face. I recognized
the embarrassment, he made that expression before, and normally I would
give him space to figure things out on his own, but I couldn’t do that now.
My heart couldn’t take leaving him there.
Plucking him out of the mess, I cradled him to my chest. He shook with
great sobs, refusing to touch me. Not like it would make a difference. We
were both covered by now. A rope dropped, and I took it, holding Finn
against me with one arm as I climbed out. Once I was on solid ground, I
turned and headed away from the festivities. I’d been avoiding taking Finn
to the river, he didn’t handle the cold well, but it was necessary. He needed
to be clean.
I didn't bother to undress, heading straight into the water. Finn gasped at
the cold, but like the first night, I ignored his tears to care for him properly.
When we were deep enough that the water went to his chest, I stripped him
out of the soiled clothes before starting on my own. Finn was shaking, his
arms wrapped around his middle, and he wouldn’t look at me.
“Rath,” Godr called from the hill overlooking the river. He tossed me a
bar of soap without a word and stood guard with his back to us. This far
from the main parts of the village, the creatures of the forest were more
brave and could attack if not on guard. Usually, we bathed in large groups
for safety. That wouldn’t happen now. No one was getting near Finn
without my say so.
I was cleaning off his face when he flinched. I frowned, tipping his head
up with a knuckle under his chin to study his face. I hadn’t noticed it before
because he kept his head down, but there were scratches on his face. Not
from a fall. They were too close together. They looked like they came from
a person.
Outrage filled my chest and my voice was foreboding when I asked,
“Who hurt you?”
He shook his head, doing his best to free himself from my grasp. I
couldn’t allow that. I was his protector. Someone hurt him on my watch. I
needed to handle it.
“Finn. Tell me. Who hurt you? Is that why you fell?” If he was attacked
and stumbled, it would explain how he ended up in the trench. Unless…
“Did they push you?”
Whether he didn't understand or he just didn't want to answer, he kept
shaking his head. I wanted to keep pushing, but his teeth were chattering.
He was too cold to stay out here much longer. I needed to get him clean.
With quick efficiency, I cleaned off every inch of his skin. He wouldn’t
take the bar to clean his privates himself, so I apologized before doing that
as well. I didn’t linger, just made sure he was thoroughly cleaned before
moving on. By the time I was done, his pale skin was pink in the moonlight,
and his lips were turning blue. I wasn’t nearly as dirty as he was, so I
quickly scrubbed and tucked him against me, using my body heat to keep
him warm as we came out of the water.
I had no clothes with us, and I wasn’t touching the soiled ones, but Godr
proved he was a good brother by having a blanket waiting to cover Finn. I
cared little for my own nudity, used to undressing around my brothers to
bathe or change. Finn was shy, not even comfortable to have his chest
exposed, and I didn’t want to parade him in front of the clan and embarrass
him further.
The blanket wasn’t enough to warm him, but it kept him covered as I
marched us back to my tent. When I set him on his feet so I could dress
him, his legs went out from under him and I had to lower him to the bed so
he wouldn’t hurt himself. I tugged one of my tunics over his head, lacing
the front tightly so it wouldn’t fall off him.
 I spared a moment to pull on some legwear before wrapping the blanket
around Finn and scooping him up again. When I ducked out of my tent, my
brothers were waiting for me, each with a worried expression on their faces.
“Have Zoya meet me at the fighter’s fire.”
Verus was quick to respond, nodding his head and running off to fetch
the healer. With the cuts and the unhygienic fall, I didn’t want to chance
Finn getting sick. I marched him away from the village center and to a fire
nearer to the edge of the forest. There were smaller fires, since eating all
together could get tedious. The fighters lived all together for easier training
and their fire was second biggest after the village center. I wasn’t bringing
Finn near the clan again until I figured out who attacked him.
He trembled in my arms, his face hidden against my chest. His hands
were icy cold, but I didn’t flinch from the touch. He could take what he
needed from me.
A few fighters sat around the fire, probably the first to greet the new
arrival so they could escape to have a more relaxed gathering. They shot me
curious looks when I joined them, but none asked questions. Janis, a fighter
who I’d fought alongside a time or two, offered me some ale, but I shook
my head, sitting as close to the fire as I would dare and curling myself
tighter around Finn. He accepted the hold without a sound. It worried me.
Normally, in his upset, he made plenty of noise. Little whimpers and
sniffles to let me know how he felt. Now he was silent and unmoving, his
breathing shallow like he was trying not to move an inch.
“Korvash,” I whispered, ducking so he could better hear me. “Tell me
who hurt you. It’s my job to keep you safe.”
No reply. I wanted to rage, to tear through the celebrations to find
who’d attacked my Finn. I couldn’t without releasing him, and nothing, not
even vengeance, could pull me away from him now.

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 Nine

“T his place is bad enough without being tainted with people like you.”
I thought I’d finally escaped that mindset. No one I’d met thus
far had even batted an eye at a male tribute, or my budding
relationship with Rath. But that was probably because I was never outside
of his sight. No one wanted to pick a fight with someone that big and
skilled at hunting. They waited until he was away from me to tell me how
they truly felt.
“You’re only a hole to fuck. He’ll toss you aside the minute he finds his
bondmate. It won’t be a boy. It’ll be a woman who can give him what he
needs.”
I’d stupidly tried to protest, arguing that Rath wasn’t interested in
women, just like me. It made the angry woman violent, and she lashed out,
slapping me so hard her nails cut into my skin.
“You don’t belong here.”
“You’re a freak.”
“Whore.”
Each shout was like a physical hit, and I retreated on instinct. I hadn’t
realized they were herding me in a certain direction until the middle one
smirked at me.
“Let me show you where you truly belong.”
Then she pushed me hard enough to send me into the waste filled
trench. I cried out in surprise, which caused them to run, but she’d pushed
me hard enough that I got stuck, and no matter how hard I fought, I couldn’t
get free. I was humiliated and scared when I heard Rath’s voice. I tried to
stifle myself so he wouldn’t find me there, but he found me anyway. He had
to climb into the mess with me to get me out and no matter how hard I tried
to keep myself away from him, he still ended up covered in waste.
Now, sitting in front of a smaller fire, I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t
look at anyone. I made myself as small as possible and stayed silent. Who
knew who else felt that way and was just waiting for me to be alone. If I
hadn’t been so obvious about how I felt about Rath, maybe they would have
left me alone. Then I wouldn’t have dragged Rath down with me.
“Over here,” Verus’s familiar voice said solemnly as he approached. I
heard footsteps, but I didn’t look up. Not even when Zoya spoke to me.
“Finn. Are you hurt? Can I see?”
No. I didn’t want to show her or anyone else. Admitting I was attacked
by a woman and she won would get me tossed out faster than my father had
thrown me away. It only added to the humiliation. I was supposed to be a
man, supposed to be able to protect myself. But I only ever disgraced the
people connected to me. I was better off alone.
“Korvash,” Rath urged, his tone tight with irritation. I wanted to do
what he told me, just so he’d hate me a little less, but I couldn’t.
They whispered to each other over my head, but when I wouldn’t look
up, Rath took things into his own hands like he normally did when I
wouldn’t listen. His grip on my jaw was tight enough that I couldn’t break
free, but loose enough not to hurt me. He lifted my face and turned it
enough to show Zoya the cuts on my cheek. I kept my eyes squeezed shut,
tears slipping out unbidden.
“You’re right,” she murmured to Rath. I didn’t catch everything she
said, but I caught the gist. “Not from a fall… Attacked? By who?... No, it
won’t…”
Tuning them out, I tried harder to free myself from Rath’s grasp. This
time he allowed it, his big hand cupping the back of my head as I hid my
face against his chest again. His rumbling voice against my ear loosened the
knot in my throat, little by little, and after a while, the exhaustion from the
encounter overwhelmed me and I fell asleep.
I woke up alone in Rath’s tent. I figured he’d give me up eventually,
especially after the humiliation from earlier, but it still hurt and I burst into
silent tears, pulling the blankets over my head. I was never going to get a
happy ending. All those books I read were a lie.
Crying until my eyes were swollen and my nose was stuffed up wasn’t
pretty, but it was cathartic, in a way. It cleared my head enough to think
clearly. I couldn’t go back to my home town. They’d kill me if I did. But
maybe if I begged, Rath would send me somewhere new. A bigger town that
I could more easily hide in. I’d take whatever job I could get and keep my
head down. It wasn’t much of a life, but I wasn’t ready to give up on living
yet.
I was so wrapped up in my plans, I didn’t notice the noise of the tent
flap moving until a warm male body settled beside me.
“Korvash,” Rath murmured, running his hand over my head through the
blanket.
I’d honestly expected him to avoid me until he could get rid of me, so I
startled hard, jerking away from his touch. When I pulled the blanket down
far enough to look at him, he looked hurt, and the guilt twisted
uncomfortably in my stomach. I sat up quickly, shaking my head.
“S-Sorry! You startled me!” I reached for him to reassure him, but then
jerked my hand back when I remembered my earlier humiliation. He was
comforting me. That didn’t mean he wanted me.
“I-I’m fine. You don’t need to coddle me. You should get some rest.
Oh!” I realized belatedly that I was still in his bed. He probably wanted that
back. “I’ll sleep on the floor. I’m sorry. I–”
He caught me before I could fully climb out of the bed, dragging me
back into his lap. I tried to protest, mostly out of embarrassment, but he
didn't let up, and when I struggled too much, he rolled over so I was trapped
underneath him on the bed.
Unwelcome heat swept through me at the intimate position. I turned my
face away, my cheeks burning, and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think
of something other than the weight of his body against mine.
“Finn. My Finn. Look at me.”
I shook my head. The embarrassment was too much. I couldn’t face
him.
Apparently, his patience ran out, but instead of yelling or hurting me, he
buried his face against my neck, his beard tickling the sensitive skin. The
move made me squirm and twist to get away, and when he lifted his head, I
couldn’t look away again without prompting another tickle attack.
 His smile warmed me to my core as he stared down at me. When he
pressed his forehead against mine, my eyes slipped shut again, this time
soaking in the moment. I loved when he did that. It made my heart skip, and
I wished not for the first time that I could stay like that forever.
“I feared for you,” he murmured, his voice solemn.
Some of the warmth drifted away, but I couldn’t curl in on myself like I
wanted to. Not with how we were positioned. I had no choice but to face
him head on.
“I’m sorry…”
He shook his head, nuzzling against me. “No. No sorry. Who hurt you?”
I couldn’t answer that even if I wanted to. She didn’t stop to introduce
herself. When I didn’t answer, Rath sighed heavily.
“Finn… My Finn. I…” He growled, like he wanted to say something
but didn’t know how to communicate it. If he kept me, I’d throw myself
into learning the language so he’d never be annoyed with me again.
Shifting only enough to take my hand, he pressed it to his chest right
over his heart, looking at me with fierce determination. “My Finn. Safe.”
He said it then in my language, pressing my hand harder to his chest. “Safe.
With me.”
I got what he was trying to say. He wanted to keep me safe. By not
telling him who hurt me, I wasn’t letting him protect me. No one had ever
cared so much about my safety before. I thought I’d cried all the tears I had,
but more sprouted in my eyes, spilling over my temples and into my hair.
Rath shook his head. “No. No sad. Safe.”
I didn’t know how else to tell him I trusted him. So, even though it was
probably the worst kiss ever, I lifted my head and pressed my lips to his.
A lifetime of dreaming and pretending the characters in books were both
men, so I could imagine a real romance, didn't prepare me for my first kiss.
It was barely anything at first, a chaste brush of our lips, but when I pulled
away, Rath followed me, taking my lips more firmly. My heart beat
thundered in my ears, drowning out all my senses except for the touch of
his lips on mine. Gentle sips at first, then deeper, his tongue pushing
between my lips to tangle with mine. I hadn’t been expecting it, and my
body lit up in response, my back arching to press myself more firmly
against him.
His weight settled more firmly on top of me, giving me the warm and
safe feeling I craved. Thick fingers combed through my hair, making me
shiver and mewl for more. I never thought I was touch starved, but the more
Rath touched me, the more I wanted from him.
By the time Rath pulled away, I was panting and my lips felt swollen
from the attention. He leaned his forehead against mine again, his smile
strained.
“You need sleep,” he murmured, brushing his lips against mine again
like he couldn’t resist. Then he drew away completely.
I whimpered out a protest, clinging to him and shaking my head. “Don’t
go. Please.”
I’d said it in my own language, desperation making it hard to translate
my thoughts, but he seemed to understand me. He shifted his weight so he
was close, but wouldn’t crush me, his big body blanketing me like I wanted.
I cuddled as close as I could and he tucked my head under his chin before
rumbling out, “Sleep well, my Finn.”
I swear, in that moment, I fell hard for the barbarian who claimed me.

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 Ten

I
t was getting embarrassing how often I was waking up hard and needy.
The first few days after the attack, it was fine. I woke up cuddled against
Rath and happy. But eventually the dirty dreams came back, and they
were getting more salacious as time went on. Every smirk and smile he sent
my way was fuel for more dirty dreams. Twice now, I woke up grinding my
arousal against his hip, so close to completion, a stiff breeze would have
pushed me over the edge.
I wasn’t naïve enough to think Rath didn’t notice. He wasn’t oblivious.
But he was kind enough not to bring it up, waiting long enough for me to
calm down before starting our daily routine. He forced me out of the tent
when I tried to hide after my attack, but instead of bringing me to the
village center, he left me with his brother instead while he went hunting.
Godr was a goofball, and he still hadn’t learned to slow down his speech so
I could only get half of what he was saying to me, but I liked watching him
train the younger horses and he let me visit with the calmer ones while he
was busy.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I ran through what I planned to do with my
day. Or, at least, that had been my intention. But instead of ignoring it like
he normally did, Rath pulled me in tighter, pressing a small kiss right below
my ear.
“You hide from me, my Finn.”
 “N-No, I don’t,” I protested, squirming when his thumb brushed over
my nipple as he tugged me closer.
He nipped my neck just rough enough to make me gasp before soothing
the sting with a kiss. He was more affectionate since our first kiss, but he’d
never been this forward before. My stomach flipped when his hand moved
lower and I almost wanted to let him touch me, but the embarrassment
overwhelmed me before he could and I caught his wrist to stop him.
Usually, my apprehension was enough to stop him. When he tried to
kiss me out in the field while visiting Vann and I shied away, he didn’t push.
He detoured and kissed the top of my head instead before taking me on a
short ride with him. This time, he was determined to get me to admit I was
hiding something from him. No amount of fighting or squirming helped,
and I ended up flat on my back with my arms trapped over my head. My
breath caught in my throat as the weight of him settled against my
throbbing erection. I tried to look anywhere but at him, embarrassed at my
reaction.
“Finn. Look at me,” he cajoled, running his nose along my jaw.
I shook my head. I was too embarrassed. At least until he moved his
hips, and I felt his erection rub against mine. My response was immediate
and even more embarrassing than the erection. I let out a lusty moan,
bucking my hips to get him to repeat the movement. He did, and I almost
reached completion with that one move.
“Finn…” Rath’s voice was strained and when I finally looked up at him,
his expression was heat and pain, like he was fighting to keep his control.
I remembered what Zoya said about tributes having a choice. I never
actually told Rath I wanted him. He was reacting like any man would to
someone squirming and moaning against him, but he didn’t know how I felt
about it.
“Please… Please don’t stop.”
That time, it was his turn to groan. He rocked against me, sending
lightning shocks of pleasure exploding through me with every rut of his
hips. I gasped and moaned, lifting my hips as much as I could, but I didn’t
have much leverage. Not until I got my legs free and spread them, so he lay
between them.
“Finn,” Rath groaned, his pace increasing as he ground against me.
Hearing my name on his lips, said so rough and lusty, had me spilling my
seed, shooting over the edge with a cry. My whole body shook with the
force of it, the thrash of my heart beat in my ears nearly drowning out
Rath’s moan as he reached completion just after me.
When I finally came down from the intensity of the release, my stomach
was sticky, the tunic I slept in was wet, and the man I was falling for was
looking at me like something precious. I was happy with that.

“W hy ?”
I was whining. I knew I was. But he said we had to go to the river to
clean up. The thought of entering that icy water again was… I shuddered at
the thought. Jailed for two days wasn’t as torturous as that.
“To get clean. Come, my Finn. It is safe.”
That wasn’t what I was worried about, but it did make me frown. Was it
something I needed to worry about?
“Why did you say that? Is it ever unsafe?”
He pressed his lips together and refused to answer. With days of
constantly using his language, I felt like I had a decent grasp of it, enough
for him to explain things to me, but his refusal spoke volumes. Great.
Something else to be terrified of.
Rath pulled me against him, running his fingers through my hair with a
smile. “You are safe, my Finn.”
His constant determination to call me his melted me every single time
he said it. I was his Finn. And if I wanted to stay his, I needed to embrace
every aspect of being in the clan. Including the freezing river baths.
Lifting my chin, I nodded once. “Okay. Let’s go.”
We weren’t the only ones at the river this time. There was a group of
men there, cleaning themselves briskly. Rath steered us away and farther
down the river until we had some semblance of privacy. He stripped his
clothes with quick efficiency and dove in, looking completely unbothered
when he came up for air. Meanwhile, I barely got a toe in the water before I
was scuttling back away from the edge, my head shaking rapidly.
“No. It’s too cold. I can’t.”
Rath’s expression was patient amusement. He put his hand out and
waited for me, pride stretching across his face when I relented and entered
the water. I loved that look, and it almost made getting into the water worth
it. It was horrible, so cold I couldn’t breathe, and it felt like my testicles
were trying to climb back up into my body. I hurried forward, pressing
myself against Rath to steal his warmth as much as I was able, my teeth
chattering from the icy cold.
Rath hummed, rubbing his rough hand along my spine. “We won’t get
clean this way.”
“Y-Yes we will. Y-You can work around me,” I chattered, considering
climbing him to get closer. He felt warm between my thighs this morning.
Couldn’t I have that again?
“No. It only makes me want to dirty you more.”
I didn’t know what he meant by that until he pushed his erection against
my belly. I gasped, looking up at him wide-eyed. “How can you be aroused
right now? It’s too cold!”
He barked out a laugh, his head thrown back, and my heart stuttered in
my chest. He was so handsome. And right now, all mine. I felt my own
arousal stir, brutal temperatures be damned, but besides a heated look and a
kiss that was so dirty it warmed me to my toes, Rath didn’t let us linger for
a repeat of our morning activities. He lathered soap from a bar and scrubbed
himself down, working around me just like I requested. When it was my
turn, he didn’t force me to move away, instead washing me himself. His
hands left trails of heat in their wake, keeping me plenty warm until we
were finished.
“M-Maybe the river i-isn’t so bad,” I murmured as he ran soapy fingers
through my hair.
“Mm. Hold your breath.”
Confused, I frowned up at him. He mimicked what he wanted, and I did
as he asked, but I didn't understand why until he dunked my head under the
water. I came out with a screech, this time not hesitating to climb him to get
closer for warmth.
“Rath!”
He bellowed out another laugh, his eyes crinkled at the sides with his
amusement.
“W-Why?” I whined, so cold I couldn’t even feel my extremities
anymore. At least my teeth stopped chattering.
“To get the soap out,” he replied with a grin. “There’s more left.”
I shook my head rapidly. “No. I’ll keep it there. I can’t do it again.”
 His smile softened to affection, and he cradled me close with a hand on
my lower back. “Hold on.”
Tightening my grip around his neck, I trusted him to maneuver me,
tipping my head back when he dipped low enough to get my hair wet. He
was quick about it, for which I was grateful, and he didn’t put me down as
we got out of the water. Not until he dried me off with a cloth and I could
put my clothes back on.
After Rath was dressed, he steered me to the fighter’s fire, as he called
it. He still wouldn’t bring me to the village center until he figured out who
hurt me. When I told him I didn’t know, he asked what they looked like, but
it was too dark for me to tell. And I couldn’t admit out loud that it was a
woman. I was too embarrassed. I liked the people at the fighter’s fire,
though. They were loud and boisterous, but friendly and they didn’t blink
twice at me cuddled in Rath’s lap as I attempted to get warm.
“No more river,” I complained, tucking my arms under his tunic to
warm my hands. He flinched from the cold and nodded.
“Okay. No more river.”
We stayed that way until I could feel my extremities again. And when
Zoya arrived for another language lesson, I was smiling.

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 Eleven

M
y Finn was happy, but I was still determined to find who hurt him.
Leaving him in Zoya’s care had not gone well last time, so I asked
her bondmate to join them while Finn practiced speaking. He was
much better after spending most of his days focused mostly on that, but he
wanted to be fluent. And it was a convenient excuse to leave him without
needing to hunt.
I marched to the village center to meet with Verus. He was helping me
in the search. He broke off from the conversation he was having with some
of the guards who had stood watch during the celebration, jogging over to
join me.
“Brother. How is he?”
I appreciated his concern over Finn. He and Godr both had checked in
often since his attack. They wanted me to find happiness and because I
found it in Finn, they were determined to protect him for my sake. Neither
was happy to hear about his attack.
“He hates the river. It’s too cold for him.”
Verus snorted, biting his lip to hide his amusement. “Considering his
size, I’m not surprised. He has nothing to keep him warm.”
Nothing but me. I wasn’t unhappy about him pressing up against me
while we washed. I’d keep bringing him there for that reason alone if he
wasn’t so icy cold when we were finished. I worried about him getting ill if
he was constantly cold like that. I’d need to make preparations to better care
for him come snowfall. He barely slept comfortably, as it was. Perhaps a
few furs would benefit him.
Shaking off the distraction, I tried to focus on Verus. “What did you
hear?”
He pressed his lips together, the disappointment clear on his face. “Not
much. A few saw Finn go to the trench to relieve himself. One even
overheard him asking Zoya for permission first. But those patrolling
weren’t in that area when he was attacked.”
Which meant we had nothing, aside from confirmation that my Finn
was good natured and wouldn’t cause trouble, even now that he was fully
introduced to the clan. While I appreciated that, it wasn’t helpful. Finn
couldn’t tell me who attacked him, he said it was too dark to tell, but I got
the feeling he wasn’t telling me everything. His eyes darted away any time I
asked, like they did when he was embarrassed of something.
“Perhaps if we brought him around the clan more, we could see
someone acting hostile?” Verus suggested.
It was a sound plan, and if it were anyone else, I would agree with it.
But it was Finn. He was too sweet to use as bait to draw out his attacker.
While I was considering our options, someone bumped into me from
behind. My reflexes were fast enough that when I spun around, I caught the
female before she could fall to the ground. She clung to me, speaking in
Finn’s language so fast I couldn’t even hope to understand her. I shot Verus
a questioning look, but he was no better than I was at the town languages.
The woman continued to talk, flapping her hand and giggling nervously.
She didn’t seem to realize we couldn’t understand her and she still had not
let go of my arms. Her nails dug into my skin, which was unpleasant. I had
to practically pry her off me before I could step away from her.
“Where is your protector?” If she was clumsy, she should not have been
wandering around on her own, especially with the fire nearby.
She looked up at me blankly. I gave Verus a disgruntled look. The first
word most tributes were taught was protector, so they knew who we were to
them. If she didn’t know that word, she was one of the tributes who refused
to learn the language at all. It wasn’t a practice I understood. It only made
life more difficult for them.
Since Finn had taught me some of his words, repeating those I taught
him in his own language so I could learn too, I attempted to communicate
with her. “Where your protector?”
 It was clear she understood me, but the face she made wasn’t one I
expected. She wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms petulantly, rattling
something else off too fast for me to follow. I bit back a sigh. I purposely
avoided tributes before now because I didn’t want to deal with things like
this. I was blessed at how accepting Finn was to the clan. He didn’t
complain and was determined to learn. His volunteering as tribute was a
great gift to me.
Thankfully, Orthorr came to my rescue, coming to stand beside us. He
understood the town languages and could communicate with the woman
better than we could.
“Clan leader,” I said respectfully, bowing slightly with my fist to my
chest. “Can I request your assistance?”
He greeted me as he usually did before looking between my clan
brother and me and the woman standing in front of us. “How can I help, my
brother?”
“I… don’t know. She does not speak our tongue. I asked where her
protector was, but she didn’t seem happy about my request.”
Verus frowned at the woman for a moment before adding, “Has she
been introduced yet? Or is she wandering around when she shouldn’t be?”
I wouldn’t be able to answer that question. I paid little mind to the new
tributes until their claiming days. I was not unkind to them, but some
became unhappy when they approached me with interest, only for me to
turn them down. I had no interest in females.
Orthorr turned to the woman, asking in her own tongue the questions
we’d wanted to ask. Defiance overtook her face, and she glared at him, her
voice tight and biting when she answered him. Orthorr was not amused by
her behavior. He glanced at me, the annoyance clear across his face.
“She is protected by Feigrind. He is hunting this morning. She was
supposed to stay in his tent.”
I almost felt bad for my clan brother. Feigrind was a good man, a decent
hunter, and dedicated to his clan. He wanted a bondmate badly. But given
her reaction to his name and her disobedience, I doubted this woman would
be it. She didn’t react to him like Finn reacted to me. And when he was
called to join us and he saw her wandering around, his reactions were
nothing like I felt for Finn.
It made me that much more grateful for the little male who blessed me
with his presence. I wanted to return to him, to ask him properly to be mine,
but with Feigrind called back to deal with his tribute, someone had to hunt.
And because I could trust Finn on his own, that someone had to be me.
I was reluctant to leave him that long, though, so instead of leaving him
alone, I went looking for him. My Finn was braver than he let on, facing the
icy river even though he was uncomfortable. He might be able to handle a
hunt as well.

“T he clan moves every moon cycle , following the herd , except

‌during snowfall, where the best game is in the forest,” I said slowly, making
sure my words were correct.
Zoya beamed at me. “Correct. Some clans explore instead of following
the herd, but those clans are smaller than ours. Fewer mouths to feed.”
I nodded along, repeating words I wasn’t familiar with. I was getting
better. If they spoke slow enough, I could follow more conversations than
just Rath talking to me. It was when they were speaking quickly that I
couldn’t keep up. Zoya was helping with this by increasing her speed a little
each day and quizzing me on the way the clan worked at the same time.
She frowned suddenly and shifted in her seat uncomfortably. When she
put her hand against her stomach, I worried she was feeling ill. She was the
healer, not me, and I wasn’t any good at figuring out what was wrong with
people, but I felt compelled to ask what was wrong. She felt like my friend
and I didn’t want her to struggle just because she said she’d help me learn. I
could fetch another healer too, if she needed it.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Her smile was a little strained when she nodded, and she took a sip of
water from a flask she’d brought along before explaining in our language.
“I believe I am with child. It has been a few months since my last cycle
and my stomach is upset often. It will pass with time.”
My mouth fell open. “You’re pregnant?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I believe so. It’s my first, so I’ve never
experienced it before, but I’ve assisted other healers in helping pregnant
mothers, and the symptoms are similar. If my belly grows, I’ll know I was
right.”
 Wow. I’d never met anyone who was pregnant before. It was just me,
my father, and my brothers at home, and the only one married with children
was my eldest brother, who lived in another town and didn’t come home
often. I wasn’t around his wife when she was pregnant.
“Can I help? Did you need anything? Would you like to lie down?”
Her smile grew, and she patted my cheek affectionately. “I’m okay.
You’re lucky this isn’t something you’ll have to deal with. I wouldn't
consider it pleasant.”
My laugh was awkward, and I couldn’t look her in the eye when I
nodded. “Yeah. Lucky.”
In a way, I was glad. I mean, I’d heard what women went through to
have babies, and it wasn’t something I ever wanted to experience. But I
couldn’t help but feel bad for depriving Rath of the joys of parenthood.
He’d be a wonderful father. A lot more patient and kind than mine.
“Korvash,” Rath’s warm voice called for me, wiping away all my
regrets and worries in an instant. I looked over my shoulder, smiling at him
as he approached.
Zoya chuckled beside me. “I recognize that look. Are you smitten with a
big barbarian of your own?”
A blush overtook my face. I ducked my head to hide it, but it was no
use. She saw anyway. I was more than smitten with Rath. I was falling hard
for him. He was everything I’d ever wanted. Kind, patient, sweet, and so
handsome, it took my breath away sometimes.
I pushed to my feet when Rath approached, offering Zoya a hand to
stand too. She waved me away, remaining comfortable where she was.
“Khaul will be done soon. I’ll wait for him. Go. Spend time with your man.
I’ll think of more ways to practice tomorrow.”
Khaul had joined us at first with the conversation, but as a fighter, he
was expected to train often, so when another fighter asked him to spar, he
readily agreed. He didn’t go far, I was pretty sure he was there to keep an
eye on us, but we got to watch him do his thing while we practiced. I was
curious if Rath ever sparred like that, and I was torn between wanting to see
it or not. On the one hand, it would make him even more attractive than he
already was. On the other, I already had trouble controlling myself around
him. More material to fuel my dirty dreams might not be a good idea.
Saying a quick goodbye to Zoya, I spun around, nearly colliding with
Rath. I hadn’t realized he was that close. He caught me with gentle hands
on my arms, drawing me closer and tucking me up against his chest.
“You weren’t gone long,” I commented, a little breathlessly if I was
being honest. He had that effect on me and the longer we spent time
together, the more affected I was.
“Mm. I need to go on a hunt.”
The disappointment was like a punch to the gut. I knew he had to go,
but I hated it every time. His absence made me sad, especially after the
attack. I felt safest with him. Not that I wasn’t safe with Godr. He was very
strong and capable. But he wasn’t Rath.
“I want you to come with me.”
Surprised, I jerked my gaze up to meet his. “O-Oh. I, um… I’ve never
been good at hunting.” Or enjoyed it all that much. I wasn’t going to say
that, though. I’d put up with being uncomfortable if I could stay with Rath.
Hopefully, I wouldn’t cry when he killed something, though. That happened
once before. For most of my brothers’ kills, I could refrain, but Fraser shot a
sweet little bunny, and it broke my heart to see the white fur all blood
soaked. I hadn’t seen Rath bring home something as small as a rabbit yet, so
hopefully it would be okay.
Rath must have sensed my trepidation because he cupped my cheek,
brushing his thumb over it in that sweet way that always made me melt.
“You will be safe, Korvash. I only wish to have you beside me.”
I melted a little more. “Okay. I’ll go.”
His smile was pleased, and he rewarded my bravery with one of those
lingering kisses on my forehead. When he pulled back, he took a moment to
study me before asking me to wait.
“I will bring you something to keep you warm. Wait here for me.”
“Okay.” I watched him go with a sappy smile on my face that only went
away when I heard Zoya’s snicker behind me. I spun around, taking in her
amused expression, and felt my face burn brightly. “Oh, hush you. He asked
me to go hunting with him. I’m allowed to be pleased.”
“Of course you are,” she said with a smile. “You two look very happy
together.”
I was happy with Rath. I never thought I’d get to keep him, but he
seemed just as happy with me as I was with him. I still worried about it
though. Was he truly happy with me, or was he just enjoying me while I
was under his protection?
“Zoya? What does korvash mean?”
 She pursed her lips thoughtfully. “If you’re asking for a literal
translation, it means petal heart. It’s a term of endearment. I think a better
translation would be precious flower. Why?”
The warmth in my chest whenever I thought about Rath grew
exponentially. He’d been calling me that since the day we met. That had to
be a sign that he wanted to keep me. Right?

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 Twelve

T
he ride into the forest was nice, quiet, with my back up against Rath’s
chest as he guided Vann through the trees. His pace was sedate,
probably to avoid making too much noise. I was tense and unsure
when we first started out, but after a while, I relaxed in Rath’s arms, looking
around with more curiosity than fear.
“Where are we going?” I whispered, keeping my voice low to avoid
frightening off any game. I’d gotten a beating for that when I was just a lad
and was dragged out hunting with my brothers. They said I chattered too
much, when I was only asking where to relieve myself. I took to hiding on
hunting days after that so they wouldn’t bring me with them anymore. I
only went when my father made me.
“There is a tree farther in that is good for scouting,” he murmured, his
voice rumbly and low, giving me goosebumps. It wasn’t from the cold, he’d
brought me a fur covering to keep warm while we were out here. It was just
my response to him.
We continued on for a little while longer, and while I wanted to chat
with Rath like I always did, I enjoyed the quiet time with him as well. It
was nice to just be near him without filling the silence.
Vann stopped next to a wide tree like he knew that was where he was
supposed to go without prompting. Rath slid off his back, plucking me
down once his feet were on the ground. He gathered his hunting things, his
bow and knives and such, and attached them to himself in various ways
before leading me around the tree to where there was a lower hanging
branch above us. For Rath, it was easily within reach, but I needed a boost,
and I muffled a yelp when he palmed my behind in the process. I shot him
an incredulous look over my shoulder, but he only winked at me, making
my face flame hot. I scrambled up the tree and clung to the trunk, waiting
for Rath to join me. I’d never been much of a tree climber and I felt a little
dizzy being that far off the ground.
Rath swung himself up with ease, crowding close, and lifted me again
to the branch above. I wanted to protest, it was too high, but the higher
branch was a little wider and there was a knot in the tree big enough for me
to press myself into, to feel a little more stable. I squished myself as far into
it as possible to give Rath more room and watched, fascinated, as he
climbed one more branch and sat with his back against the trunk, his eyes
narrowed as he scanned the area.
For a while, we sat there in silence. I scanned the area like Rath did, but
I wasn’t entirely sure what I was looking for. I was familiar with a few of
the animals closer to town, but this far out the animals were unrecognizable
to me, and I wasn’t sure which were for food and which were to avoid.
A snap of a twig made me whip my head around, but it was only Vann
below us, chewing on a bush. I had to crane my neck to see him, and that
was when I noticed something moving around farther away. It was sort of
deer-like, with antlers and hooves, but it had long fur that hung all the way
down to the ground and a wider face, like a horse. One of Rath’s legs was
dangling down from his branch, so I tugged lightly at his trousers to get his
attention and pointed. Slipping off his branch, he crowded against me to
look around the trunk, and when he glanced back at me, he looked proud.
Leaning until his lips were against my ear, he whispered. “Good job, my
Finn. I will be back. Stay here. It is safe.”
I nodded, pressing myself against the trunk to show him I understood.
My heart rate picked up, fear for his wellbeing making my hands clammy. I
remembered his warning about it being dangerous out here. I didn’t want
him to get hurt. Before he could climb down and slip away, I caught his
arm, leaning to kiss his cheek.
“Be safe,” I whispered.
He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine, and kissed me
chastely before climbing out of the tree and sneaking off into the forest. The
creature had moved out of my view by the time he left, so I couldn’t watch
what he was doing, but I figured it’d take a minute. Stealth took time.
For a while, I studied the forest, trying to see if any other creatures
would pop up that I could point out. It made me giddy whenever Rath
looked at me with pride in his eyes, and I wanted to earn more looks like
that. Nothing happened, though, and eventually I got bored. I wished I had a
book with me. I would’ve been happy to wait here for him if I had
something to occupy my time.
When he wasn’t back as quickly as I thought, I started to worry. The
creature didn’t look overtly dangerous, but it could have been. I doubted
Rath would have told me as much. He didn’t want to frighten me.
Nevertheless, I worried, and when enough time passed that my rear went
numb and he still hadn’t shown back up, I thought it was better to get down
and look for him. He might be hurt and all alone. It hurt my heart to even
consider it.
It took me a lot longer than it took Rath to get down from the tree. I
clung to the trunk, easing myself off each branch, but I couldn’t reach the
ground on my own. I had to dangle myself from the branch and jump to
avoid hurting myself, and still I stumbled. My muffled yelp was a lot louder
than I’d hoped, but I managed to regain my footing without injury. and
when I looked around, the forest was still and quiet.
Wandering in the direction I’d seen Rath and the creature go, I hid
behind trees and peeked around them, my breath a little stilted from fear.
Fear of what, I wasn’t entirely sure. I knew names for animals thanks to
Zoya, but not what they looked like or which to avoid. I walked for a while,
searching for any signs of Rath, but the farther I got from the tree, the more
nervous I got. What if I passed him? What if he was at the tree waiting for
me? I turned in a circle, frowning at my surroundings. How did I get back?
Did I manage to get myself lost in a pathetic attempt at rescuing the best
hunter in the clan? I really was useless.
A snapping twig had me whipping around. I didn't see anything at first,
just trees and bushes as far as the eye could see. But a sense of foreboding
settled on my shoulders and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
I took a step back until my back was up against a tree, looking around
desperately for the source of the noise.
“Rath?” I hissed out, tears pricking my eyes. Foolish, foolish, foolish.
 “Finn!” Rath’s call was loud, but distant. I jerked upright, turning in the
direction I’d heard his voice, and I was going to run to him, but a low growl
filled the air, stalling me. Slowly, I turned my head to the side. There, in a
thicket of bushes, something black and sleek crept closer, baring razor-
sharp teeth as long as my forearm. Panic made my throat close up, stopping
me from calling for help. I stood frozen, unable to move or run or cry out,
while the creature slowly stalked toward me.
“Finn!” Rath’s voice got closer, but not nearly close enough. He
wouldn’t get here in time. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I stared at the
creature. What was I to do?
It crouched lower, readying itself to pounce, and the panic kicked up
enough to free my feet. I ran, a scream caught in my throat as the creature
snarled and leapt. It would have landed on me if not for Vann. The massive
horse came out of nowhere, his whinny loud. He spun and kicked out with
his enormous hooves, and hit the creature square on, sending it flying, and
stood over me when the creature got on its feet again. Rearing on his hind
legs, he kicked out again, warning the creature away.
The creature was panting after taking that kick and seemed to think
better of challenging the horse. It slunk off into the brush right as Rath
came barreling in from another direction, his eyes wide and terror filled as
he searched for me.
“Finn!”
He snatched me off the ground and into his arms, hugging me close. I
choked on sobs, clinging to him with my face buried against his neck.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to–”
He shook his head, pulling me away enough to pepper my face with
kisses. “It is my fault, korvash. I should not have left you alone. Are you
alright? Were you hurt?”
“N-No. Vann protected me. I’m okay.”
I said that, but I still wasn’t brave enough to let him go. And he didn't
make me. He helped me wrap my legs around his waist and kept me in his
arms as he mounted Vann and steered us back the way we came. At the foot
of the big tree we’d scouted from were two dead animals, but neither of us
paid them any mind. Rath stayed on Vann’s back, hugging and petting me
until I stopped trembling and could finally look him in the eye to apologize
properly.
 “I’m sorry. You said to stay put, but I got worried and I didn’t listen. I
should have listened.”
Brushing my hair back, he studied me with a frown. “What worried you,
my Finn? Did you see something?”
Embarrassed, I tried to duck my head, but Rath wouldn’t let me. He
cupped my cheeks, lifting my chin to force me to look him in the eye.
“I-I was worried because you were taking longer than I thought. I was
scared you were hurt, so I went looking for you.”
The intense look in his eyes softened, and he leaned to press his
forehead against mine, gathering me close.
“I am sorry, Finn. After taking down the sorvik, I noticed another
nearby. I should have returned to you instead. Forgive me. I did not mean to
worry you.”
I felt stupid after hearing his explanation. He took longer because he
found more game. Of course, that’s why he didn’t come back straight away.
The animal might have been gone by the time he came here to explain and
went back. I should have been more patient.
“How did you find me?” I murmured, nuzzling his chin. I couldn’t get
close enough after that encounter. I thought I’d never see him again.
“I heard Vann. He knows not to make sound while hunting. He only
does so if danger is near. You said he protected you. From what?”
“I, uh… I’m not sure. I wasn’t familiar with it.”
He nodded, accepting this answer, before prompting for more. “What
did it look like?”
I took a second to form the words carefully in my head so I didn’t mess
up my description. “Like a cat, but bigger. Black fur, long teeth, short tail.”
Surprisingly, Rath paled at my description. Spinning me around, he
rushed out a quick ‘stay here’ before hopping off Vann’s back. He was
quick to tie the animals so they could be brought back, and when he
climbed on again, he tightened his grip on me almost to the point of
discomfort.
“Hold on.”
My attempt to ask him why was cut off with another yelp as he barked
at Vann and we took off through the forest. I’d only ever ridden a few times
in my life. My father didn’t care enough to get me lessons and my brothers
weren’t interested in teaching me, so I’d never gone so fast before. It made
me a little sick to my stomach, but I refused to complain about it. Not after
causing trouble like I had. I just held on and squeezed my eyes shut until we
came back to the village. Rath was off Vann’s back as soon as he stopped
moving, and he plucked me down as well, calling out to a few of his clan
brothers.
“Brother? What’s wrong?” Verus asked as he jogged over. He shot me a
worried frown, but I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t know what was going on
either.
“Shadowstalker. In the forest. It went after Finn. We need to go now.”
Like Rath in the forest, Verus’s face went pale. He spun around and ran,
calling out to other hunters as he hurried toward the field with the other
horses.
Spinning around, I asked Rath, “What’s going on?”
He put his hands on my shoulders, squeezing gently to show his
seriousness. “I need to go. You will stay here. Go to our tent and wait for
me. I will be back.”
Worry and fear overwhelmed me, but Rath didn’t have time to stand
around and comfort me. He pulled me in for a tight hug, kissed my
forehead, then moved me out of the way, mounting Vann again after the
other clan members removed his kills from Vann’s back. Once the others
joined him, they all raced off again, leaving me standing there alone, my
heart in my throat. I should’ve stayed in the tree.

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 Thirteen

R
ath was gone for hours. I did as he asked and went back to the tent to
wait, but it felt like time dragged on. I paced the tiny space, worrying
my bottom lip with my teeth and twisting my fingers. Every time I
heard someone walk past, I peeked out, listening to see if anyone was
talking about Rath. A few mentioned the hunting group, but none said
anything about him returning.
Supper time came and went. I was certain Rath wouldn’t be mad if I left
to get something to eat, but I was too nervous to want to. My stomach
churned uncomfortably, the worry eating at me, so I didn't even think about
putting anything in it.
Eventually, I had to sit down or risk throwing up. I wrapped my arms
around my knees, hugging them tightly, and willed myself not to cry. I
berated myself for causing trouble, for putting Rath in danger by luring out
a creature that was obviously dangerous. Hours passed with me doing that. I
might have dozed here and there, but I was still berating myself when Rath
came back. He looked exhausted, and his expression was grim. My stomach
sank as I looked up at him, but he didn’t say anything to me. He took off his
weapons, leaving them resting by the bedding, and crawled over me,
burying his face in my neck as he held me tight.
“What happened?”
He shook his head, tightening his arms around me. I wanted to keep
pushing, but he was obviously exhausted. He’d gotten up with me that
morning, done dirty things with me, then spent the morning taking care of
me before we were sent on the hunt. Even after his job was done, he had to
save me and get me to safety before going back out. He was obviously
tired. I couldn’t tell what time it was, but it felt late. Instead of pestering
him for information, I hugged his shoulders and stroked his hair, soothing
him like he did to me so often.
He fell asleep like that, lying on me like a blanket. For a while, I dozed
with him, but I couldn’t seem to settle like normal. That foreboding feeling
hadn’t gone away since I saw that creature in the forest. Eventually, I
wriggled free of Rath’s hold, my bladder protesting going so long without
relief. I thought about waking Rath to go with me, but I didn’t want to cause
him more trouble. Instead, I took one of his smaller knives from where he’d
left it beside the bed. I carried it with me to the trench, which I still couldn’t
get near without flinching, and did my business before heading back.
Another wave of foreboding brushed against my back as I weaved
between the tents to Rath’s. I was almost too afraid to look over my
shoulder. I was sure it was just my imagination. I picked up my pace a little,
only to freeze a second later when a familiar growl filled the air.
This time, the creature didn’t give me a chance to run. I barely had
enough time to spin around before it leapt at me. My hands came up
automatically to protect myself and I took a step back, tripping over a steak
to the nearest tent. Tripping actually ended up saving me, because instead of
landing on me as it probably planned, the creature leapt too far, knocking us
both to the ground.
“Rath!” I screamed his name even as I felt the weight of the animal land
on me. It let out a pained cry, leaping off me, which was when I noticed that
in my attempt to protect myself, I’d lifted the knife I had borrowed from
Rath. It didn't kill the creature, but it did injure it, blood dripping from its
belly.
I scrambled back to my feet. Unlike when Vann hurt the creature, this
time it didn't run when injured. It bared its teeth at me, crouching for
another attack. I held the knife in front of me, my hands shaking so
intensely, I doubted it’d do much good. Running wouldn’t help either. I was
out of ideas.
Just as the creature leapt into the air at me, Rath shouted and tackled the
thing. It didn’t even have time to react before he slammed one of his knives
into the animal’s gut. The creature let out another yelp of pain, but Rath
didn’t let go or jump back. He lifted his head enough to bellow into the
creature’s face, jerking the knife hard and slicing through the animal in one
quick motion. It went limp just as more clan members showed up to help.
Rath shoved to his feet, covered in blood, fury coming off him in waves. He
swung around to face me and I had to fight the instinct to flinch or jump
back. Rath wouldn’t hurt me. I hoped anyway.
He must have noticed my trepidation because he approached slowly, the
hand not holding a knife lifted in a calming gesture. He shushed me,
stooping enough to drop his weapon before the other hand came up to do
the same. I didn't understand what he was doing or why he was acting like
that until he spoke to me.
“You are safe. You are okay.”
My gaze darted around as I tried to figure out why he was saying that.
Was there another one? Did they come in groups? Did the whole camp need
to move somewhere safer?
Rath’s hand was warm when it wrapped around my wrist. He pried the
knife out of my hand, handing it off to someone else, but his eyes never left
mine.
“Breathe, Korvash. You are safe.”
It was when he cupped my cheeks that I realized I was hyperventilating.
My whole body trembled against his palm and my knees went out from
under me. Rath caught me, pulling me against his chest. Zoya came out of
nowhere in her night clothes and a cloak, appearing at our side with fear
and determination on her face. Her gaze swept over us both in a clinical
manner before she turned to me.
“I-I-I-” I couldn’t get any words out. It felt like they were caught in my
throat and I couldn’t force them out, no matter how hard I tried.
“It’s okay,” she soothed, taking a deep breath and urging me to do the
same. “You’re okay. Try to breathe, Finn, or you’ll pass out.”
I was feeling really lightheaded. I tried to do what she asked, but I
couldn’t seem to make my body listen. My fingers dug into Rath’s arms,
desperately reaching for that safe feeling that blanketed me whenever he
was close. He wrapped himself around me so much that I couldn’t see or
hear anything but him. His rapid heartbeat, his deep breaths, the strength in
his arms as he held me. It helped, and I tried my best to match my breaths to
his, listening to his heartbeat as it slowly came down to a more steady
thump, thump, thump against my ear.
 “Were you hurt?” Zoya asked Rath. My fingers tightened, worry rising
again, but it quickly came back down when Rath answered in the negative.
“No. It had no chance. I caught it as it was leaping at him. I should have
known better than to return until I found it.”
“Honestly, it’s a good thing you did, otherwise he would’ve been alone
when it came for him,” Zoya argued.
“You were where you were supposed to be,” an older male voice said
soothingly. I didn’t recognize it, but at the moment, I didn't care. I just
wanted to get as close to Rath as I possibly could.
There was a flurry of activity around us, but no one seemed to expect
anything from me. Rath kept me wrapped up in his arms and spoke around
me, reporting to the older man what had happened in the forest earlier.
“How did you manage to get the thing twice without getting injured?”
someone asked.
Rath turned, looking over his shoulder, and I could hear the frown in his
voice. “What are you talking about? The kill was quick.”
“There are two stab wounds,” the person explained, and I could hear
shuffling like they were turning the creature over to prove it.
Large hands rested on my shoulders as Rath gently pulled me away so
he could look me in the eye. “Did you…?”
I dropped my chin, my bottom lip quivering. “I-I didn’t mean to. I
tripped the first time it jumped at me and–”
Rath sucked in a sharp breath, yanking me back against him again. To
my surprise, a tremor ran through him, much like it had me before he’d
settled me. I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him as tight as I
could muster, my face buried against his chest.
“I’m sorry.”
“Alright. I believe it is safe to say the danger has passed,” the older
voice said. “Verus, alert the other hunters and everyone else, get some rest. I
get the feeling we have a ceremony to plan.”
I didn’t know what he meant by that, and I didn’t care. It took a few
moments for Rath to be willing to release me enough to walk away. We
headed back to his tent, but then I remembered he was still covered in
blood. We didn’t have anything to clean him up inside the tent.
“You should go to the river and clean up. I promise, I won’t leave
again.” I’d caused enough trouble being where I shouldn’t today.
 Rath shook his head. When I opened my mouth to argue, he pulled me
against him again, resting his forehead against mine. “I can’t be away from
you right now. I’ll survive.”
I didn’t like the idea of him being uncomfortable just because he was
worried about me. So, despite how much I hated it, I drew him to the river
myself and stripped down, leading him into the icy water with the most
blank face I could muster.
Rath huffed, pulling me against his body. “You are not good at hiding,
kolrav. You do not have to pretend.”
That word was new, and I wasn’t sure what it meant, but now wasn’t the
time for a language lesson. I focused on running my hands over his skin,
washing off all the blood. I wasn’t as cold as before, maybe because I was
still numb from the panic, but I still didn't want to linger in the water if I
didn't have to.
Rath took his turn, running his rough palms over my skin. Because I
was cuddled against him, a fair amount of blood transferred to me, too. He
wouldn’t let us leave until he was sure every drop was gone. Then, when we
were both clean, he dried us both off and covered me with the cloth before
sweeping me off my feet and marching us straight back to his tent. And
instead of bringing me to the fire to warm me up, he warmed me with his
body on top of mine and his tongue in my mouth until I was so worked up I
came with a cry and ruined the efforts of our river bath. But when he
followed after with a shudder, I couldn’t find it in me to complain.

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 Fourteen

“R ath…”
He groaned, rutting against me, his hips grinding in just the right
way to make me moan. It’d been three days since the shadowstalker
came after me, and he still refused to go on another hunt. He’d have to
eventually, but whenever anyone brought it up, he dragged me back to the
tent and we ended up like this, wrapped around each other in a sweaty,
sticky heap.
A familiar tingle at the base of my spine told me I wasn’t going to last
much longer. I tried to hold back, but it was just too good, and when I came
with a cry, Rath was always quick to follow me, painting my skin with his
release.
We both fought for breath, clinging to each other. I didn’t think I’d ever
get sick of this, it was too perfect, but I was starting to wonder why we
never did more. I’d heard rumors, mostly from my brothers, about things
men did together. They always spoke of it with disgust and horror, but I
found it intriguing. I wanted to ask Rath about it, he was obviously more
experienced than me, but I was too embarrassed. Besides, I didn’t want to
remind him constantly of my inexperience. I wanted to be good enough for
him.
“Brother!” a familiar voice called from outside the tent. “We must go!”
Verus was smart enough not to poke his head in, but it didn't stop Rath
from growling loud enough for him to hear. “How long were you listening
to us?”
“If you wished to be discreet, you did a poor job of it,” was Verus’s
teasing reply as his footsteps moved away from the tent. I felt my cheeks
flush, and I wanted to pull the blankets over my head, but I also didn’t want
Rath to move. I clung to him instead, burying my face against his neck.
“Where are you going?”
His sigh was resigned, and he hugged me tighter when he muttered, “To
hunt. I must. It’s my duty to the clan.”
When I first met him, he was excited to share all the details of his job in
the clan. He showed off his knives with pride and the first words he taught
me outside of the clan hierarchy were words about hunting. The reluctance
in his voice made me frown now.
“What’s wrong? I thought you loved to hunt.”
His grip on me tightened and for a moment, I thought he wouldn’t reply,
but he eventually admitted, “I can’t bring you with me. I can’t have you in
danger again.”
Ah. While I hated being separated from him, I had to agree with him. I
didn’t belong out there. I wanted to do something to support the clan, earn
my keep as it were, but I didn’t think hunting would be the way I would do
that. And I could hear it in his voice that Rath would be too stressed having
me out there anyway.
“That’s okay. I’ll wait here for you.”
I thought he’d be relieved, but he still didn’t release me. If anything, he
clung to me harder, his beard tickling my neck in his attempt to hide away. I
hated how upset he was, but I absolutely adored how willing he was to be
vulnerable with me. He was upset and while he didn’t look me in the eye,
he did show me with his actions how he felt about it.
Another rub gave me goosebumps, and I couldn’t stop the snicker that
escaped me. “Rath,” I complained, poking his side. “You’re tickling me.”
He grunted, pulling away enough to look at me. “You say this as though
it would make me stop.”
“Huh?”
Instead of answering, he buried his face again, this time purposely
scraping his beard on my neck. I squirmed and laughed, helpless to get
away with him pinning me with his big body. He only stopped when I was
breathless and close to tears from laughing so hard. This time, when he
lifted his head, he looked a little lighter, though there was still apprehension
in his eyes. I trailed my fingers over his face, urging him to speak to me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I do not wish to bring you with me, but I like leaving you even less. I
do not know what to do.”
I melted at his sweet confession, cupping his face and lifting up enough
to kiss him. He leaned into it, seeking my comfort, and when I pulled away,
he leaned his forehead against mine, his brow furrowed with worry.
“How about this? I’ll go to the field with Godr while you are gone. If I
need to go anywhere, I’ll ask him to go with me. That way, you know I’m
safe and looked after and can focus on staying safe yourself.”
It wasn’t the same as staying by his side, but I figured it was a suitable
compromise. And Rath seemed to agree. He was reluctant, but it was
enough to get him out of bed and moving. And I would keep my promise. I
wouldn’t go anywhere without Godr beside me. I didn’t want to be the
reason Rath was distracted.
We cleaned up and got dressed, and Rath led me to Godr, giving his
brother a stern warning about watching me before he forced himself to go.
Godr watched with amusement, raising an eyebrow at me once he was out
of sight.
Pointing a finger at him, I frowned. “Be nice.”
He chuckled, putting his hands up in surrender. “I am a very nice
brother. It is just fun to see him so flustered. He is the calm one. He needed
to be shaken up a bit.”
I wrinkled my nose, following him into the field where the horses were
grazing. “I don’t like shaking him up. I don’t want him distracted out there.
He could get hurt.”
The worry ate at me and I chewed on my lip, staring at the forest we’d
been hunting in together a few days before. If he wasn’t focused, what were
the chances that another shadowstalker could come after him. Zoya
explained why they were so dangerous. They weren’t the biggest or
anything, but once they decided to hunt something, they wouldn’t let it go
until they got their prey. The shadowstalker would’ve kept coming for me
until it found me. That’s why Rath panicked when I described it to him. He
knew I wouldn’t be safe until he killed it.
Godr’s hand rested on my shoulder and when I glanced up at him, his
expression was full of understanding. “Rath is a good hunter. The best. He
will return to you. Try not to worry so much.”
Easier said than done. But I nodded along and followed him to a spot
where I could watch him train the younger horses while staying out of the
way. And I kept my promise to Rath, staying by Godr’s side until he
returned to me, safe and sound.

“Y ou look deep in thought .”

I blinked up at Godr, coming back to the moment. I hadn’t actually been
thinking about anything important. I got bored watching him for the fourth
day in a row, and ended up daydreaming about how Rath woke me up that
morning. He’d wrapped his large fist around both our erections, stroking
them together. I’d come so embarrassingly fast, I think it shocked even him.
But instead of letting me wallow about it, he had me help him stroke
himself until he came on my stomach. Both experiences were new and
unbelievably sexy. I wanted to figure out a way to surprise him too, but I
worried I’d be too awkward because of my inexperience or do something
wrong that he wouldn’t like.
“Is Rath back yet?”
He smirked, shaking his head, and offered me a flask of water. “You
were looking a little flushed. Is it too warm in the sun?”
“Not at all,” I replied before realizing what I’d said. Godr didn't miss
the meaning, though.
“Oh? So then, what’s got you so flushed?” His tone was teasing, but I
stiffened anyway, and his face fell when he noticed my fear. He squatted in
front of me, tipping his head. “What’s wrong?”
“I…” I bit my tongue. The last time I talked to someone about my
desires, my entire life fell apart. I didn’t want the same to happen with these
people. Each day, it felt more and more like home. I didn’t want to lose
them.
“You know you can talk to me, Finn. I am not loose lipped.”
I knew that. He’d been kind to me since I started staying with him
during the day. He even let me help sometimes. He had another clan
member build me a step so I could better reach and taught me to brush the
horses’ manes. I liked it, it was relaxing, and it made me feel useful after I’d
told him I didn’t like not doing my part.
But this wasn’t about the clan or my place here. I wasn’t comfortable
discussing intimacy with anyone. Not even Rath. I was too scared.
“Is it my brother? Let me guess, he snores and you don’t know how to
tell him.”
A smile tugged at my lips, and I shook my head quickly. “He does not.”
“No?” Godr pretended to be thoughtful. “He did when we were young. I
thought he was a beast from the forest come to steal me from my bed with
all that noise.”
Laughing, I tossed a handful of grass at him. “You hush! You did not!”
He nodded solemnly, his face full of mock sorrow. “I did. It was
horrible. I was grateful when he got his own tent. But then it was too quiet
without him. I could not win.”
My shoulders shook with my silent laughter, and some of the tension
eased. Godr was nothing like my brothers. He teased and joked, but he was
never cruel about it. And he seemed to care genuinely about Rath’s
happiness.
Sitting beside me, Godr bumped my shoulder, raising his eyebrows at
me. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Biting my lip, I stared at my lap, twisting my fingers anxiously. “It’s
not… I shouldn’t discuss it.”
“Is it about the person who attacked you? Are they bothering you
again?” he asked more seriously.
I got the feeling he wouldn’t let this go like Rath would. And I didn’t
want him mentioning it to Rath. So despite my trepidation, I blurted it out.
“I want to please Rath!” My face flushed bright red, and I ducked my
head, refusing to look at him.
“Did he say he was displeased with you?” Godr asked, confused.
I shook my head, but still couldn’t look at him. “N-No. Not like that. I
mean, um… I want to please him… in bed…” I barely muttered out the
words, so embarrassed, I thought I might burst into flames.
“Oh. Oh!” He chuckled as he finally realized what I meant. “I’m sure
you don’t have a problem with that. I’ve heard the talk of the sounds
coming from your tent.”
Horrified, I whipped my head up to look at him. “W-What?”
 He shrugged. “It is not as though the walls of the tents are thick. Most
don’t bother to be quiet. Why hide that we are enjoying ourselves?”
To him, maybe, it was normal to overhear such things, but for me, it was
beyond embarrassing. I honestly hadn’t thought about it before now. I
wasn’t sure what was worse, knowing people heard us, or knowing it’d
happen again. Soon. Rath had a… healthy appetite, and took me as often as
he had spare time. Especially since the shadowstalker attack. Like he
needed frequent reminders that I was there and safe.
“Why do you think you don’t please him?” Godr asked, distracting me
from his horrifying revelation.
I winced. “It’s not… I don’t think he’s unhappy with what we’ve
done… I just… I’m… inexperienced. I don’t know how…” I trailed off.
“Ah. I understand now. Have you asked him? I’m sure he would be
happy to teach you.”
“I, um… I wanted to surprise him. He’s usually in charge and–” I
shrugged. “Nevermind. I shouldn’t be discussing this. I’m sorry. You can go
back to your work. I’m fine.”
“No. I can help. After all, I am quite experienced in this area,” he said,
waggling his eyebrows and bumping my shoulder. “Do you have questions,
or should I just tell you things to try?”
Looking up at him, I felt my chest swell with relief and elation. This
wasn’t like last time. He didn’t shame me or make me feel bad for asking
such things. Godr actually wished to help me. I had to work hard not to
burst into tears and hug him silly, I was so grateful. I couldn’t have that
kind of relationship with my brothers, but Godr was Rath’s brother. If Rath
chose to keep me, maybe I could have that relationship with my brother-in-
law instead.

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 Fifteen

F
inn was acting strangely. At first, I worried he may have found out my
intention to ask him to be my bondmate. It was supposed to be a
surprise, and he was terrible at keeping things from me. But he didn’t
mention anything about it. If I knew him as well as I believed I did, he
would not be able to keep it to himself. He seemed as eager as I was to keep
each other, and I doubted he’d be able to handle not asking about it. Which
left me at a loss as to why he was acting so strangely. I returned from my
hunt and found him in the field where I had found him every day since I
returned to hunting. He was brushing the mane of one of the stallions,
humming to himself, but after I surprised him with a kiss, he wouldn’t stop
blushing and he couldn’t look me in the eye.
The strangeness of his behavior only grew when we went to get our
supper. He seemed almost anxious, glancing at me when he thought I
wasn’t looking and bouncing his leg when he sat beside the fighter’s fire. I
wanted to ask Godr, but my brother was conveniently busy in conversation
whenever I sought him out. And when he caught me looking at him and I
shot him a questioning look, he pressed his lips together like he was
fighting laughter. What happened while I was gone?
After our meal was finished, I brought Finn back to our tent, hoping if
we spoke privately, he’d feel more comfortable. If my brother upset him for
some reason, I wanted to know so I could deal with him myself.
 Before I had a chance to even ask, Finn threw himself at me, using what
little strength he had to pull me low enough for a kiss. And not the sweet
kisses he liked to give me to show me he cared. No, this was a kiss with
intention. He nipped at my lip, demanding entry, and moaned into my
mouth when I tangled my tongue with his. I could never say no to his
affections, and I had no interest in doing so now, but I was curious if this
was the reason he was acting so strangely. If so, I was flattered.
Lifting him off his feet, I marched to the bed and laid him upon it,
following him with a chuckle when he wouldn’t loosen his arms enough for
me to pull away. I truly enjoyed an amorous Finn. His needy eagerness
thrilled me every time.
Pulling back, I trailed kisses along his jaw, enjoying the little mewls that
escaped him. “Is this why you were acting so strangely? Did you need me?
Because you need only ask, kolrav. Anything you want from me is yours.”
“A-Anything?” he asked breathlessly, tipping his head to give me more
room.
“Anything,” I agreed. I wanted to tell him about my intentions to
reassure him, but he cut me off before I could give away the secret.
“Can I… be on top?”
He stiffened, waiting for the rejection, and let out a startled laugh when
I rolled us over so he was lying on top of me. I never thought to offer
because he seemed to like me on top of him. I wasn’t going to complain
either way.
“Is this what you need, my Finn?”
Sitting up slowly, he bit his lip and nodded. I ran my hands up his sides,
enjoying the view immensely. It would be better if he was naked. But when
I tried to sit up to better strip him, he pushed me back down, a deep flush on
his face.
“I want to try something,” he murmured.
My Finn was a shy little thing, and I didn’t want to discourage him from
telling me what he wanted, so instead of stripping him like I wanted, I laid
back and tucked my hands behind my head, giving him full access to my
body.
“I’m all yours, kolrav.”
“What does that word mean?”
I shook my head, denying him this time. He would figure out my
intentions if he knew the meaning of the word. He could wait a few more
days.
To my great surprise, and vast amusement, he stuck his lip out in a pout.
He was trying to show he was displeased with me, but sitting on my
stomach looking adorable wasn’t going to work in his favor. It only made
me more sure of my plan.
When I didn’t respond how he wished, he looked contemplative for a
moment before a flash of determination crossed his face. I almost lamented
my fate with that look. He would not go easy on me, would he?
When he pulled off his tunic, I got the answer to my question. I tried to
reach for him, and he pushed my hands away with a shake of his head. He
intended to torment me until I gave in. I was not entirely sure I would come
out the victor in that game. Especially when he scooted backwards to pull
off my tunic and his pert little ass sat on my cock.
Groaning, I gripped his hips, considering going back on my word to let
him explore. I was a patient hunter, but when it came to Finn, my normal
control was lacking.
“Nuh-uh,” he chided, wagging a finger at me. “No touching until you
tell me. I’ve got lots of ideas too, so you should hurry up.”
“Mm. And where did you get these ideas? In one of those books you
told me about?”
Finn told me how much he loved to read before coming here. I’d asked
around about getting him some books to read. I would give them to him as a
bonding gift.
He shook his head, and the blush came back, his shoulders going up in
embarrassment. That emotion did not belong in our bed and I hastened to
reassure him, cupping his cheek.
“Kolrav. What is it? Did Godr say something to you? Is that why you
are so upset?” He spent the past few days with my brother. It was a
reasonable assumption.
Finn shook his head rapidly. “No! No, he has been very kind. I, um… I
asked him some questions. I’m not… experienced, and I wanted to know
how to please you. He was kind enough to offer help.”
Had it been anyone else, I would have accepted this. Sex was nothing to
be ashamed of, and if someone as inexperienced as Finn had questions, I
knew plenty of people who would be happy to explain things to him.
However, Godr was a shit sometimes, and I didn’t trust his counsel.
“What did he tell you, exactly?”
 “Um…” The blush on his cheeks worked its way down his neck and
onto his shoulders and chest. If it was difficult to discuss this with me, I
imagined it was even more so with Godr. “Well, he said that many men like
when the smaller man is on top, like this when we’re… you know…
intimate.”
True. Though, I liked it just as much having him underneath me. I
nodded along encouragingly.
“What else?”
“He said there’s prep involved, and an oil I needed to ask the healers
for. I was hoping you could do that…”
Also true. Perhaps Godr was truly being helpful. “I can do that, korvash.
Anything else?”
His brows furrowed a little. “Um… well, he said something else, but I
wasn’t really sure about it. It sounds painful.”
I frowned. While his first few times might be uncomfortable, it would
never be painful. I’d do everything I could to make sure of that. Godr knew
the same, so I wasn’t sure if that was what he was referring to. “What do
you mean?”
“Well… he told me about using my mouth… down there… but do you
truly like to be bitten? I would think that would ruin the mood, would it
not?”
There it is. I knew better than to trust my brother to be completely
truthful. Biting back an exasperated sigh, since I didn't want Finn to think it
had anything to do with him, I cupped the back of his head and pulled him
down for a quick kiss.
“While most of what my brother told you is true, biting is definitely not
part of it.”
Sitting up, Finn’s brows drew together tightly. “What? Then why would
he suggest it? He said you like it and t-to bite all over.” He waved a hand at
me, his flush deepening. “Especially down there.”
I could not hold in the sigh that time. “That would definitely hurt and
not in a pleasurable way. Godr was lying. It is a reference to an old
relationship I once had. He probably hoped to prank me by getting you to
do that.”
Embarrassment made Finn scramble away from me, but it was the hurt
in his eyes that worried me the most. Hurt… and anger.
“Finn?”
 He stood there for a moment, stock still. Tears welled in his eyes and his
teeth clenched, like his emotions were in turmoil. When I reached for him,
he shook his head sharply, snatching up his tunic and darting out of the tent
without a backward glance. Stunned, I lay frozen for a moment before
launching out of bed to go after him. I didn't know which direction he went,
but since he knew not to wander off alone, I made a guess that turned out to
be correct. I was several paces behind him when he walked up to the
fighter’s fire and my brother, who was drinking with his friends. And in a
move that was so very unlike my Finn, he pushed Godr hard, taking him off
guard enough to make him stumble.

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 Sixteen

I
was so blindly angry when I went looking for Godr. I trusted him. I
thought he wouldn’t betray me like my brother had. That alone was bad
enough, and hurt me down to my core, but he also risked my
relationship with Rath in the process. I could have hurt him. My stomach
churned just at the thought of hurting Rath.
“You asshole!”
Godr looked stunned, actually stumbling back from the push. I wanted
to do it again, or maybe to hit him, but I could barely see through the angry
tears welling in my eyes.
“Wha–”
“You lied to me! You said you’d help me, but you lied!”
I choked on a sob, barely noticing the silence as everyone near the
fighter’s fire turned to watch. All I could focus on was Godr and his
betrayal.
“Finn, wait,” he started, a hesitant smile on his face. “It was just a
joke–”
“It wasn’t funny! I could have hurt him! I could have hurt him and he
could have left me and I’d be all alone again! I hate you! I hate you for
trying to take him from me! I’ll never trust you again!”
Deep, gut wrenching sobs ripped through me, so strong I couldn’t
breathe right. I sank to my knees, hugging my middle tightly. I could’ve lost
him. The only person who truly cared for me. Who took me in and showed
me what it meant to be cared for. To be loved. Rath was the first person ever
who truly made me feel safe enough to be myself. He never judged or got
angry with me if I made a mistake or if I cried on him. He just held me and
kissed me until I felt better. The thought of hurting him, even by accident,
tore me up inside. And after I trusted Godr, too.
Footsteps approached from behind me, and when Rath scooped me into
his arms, I didn’t fight him. I sobbed into his neck, clinging to him
desperately. I couldn’t lose him. I just couldn’t. I wouldn’t survive.
“Rath…” Godr croaked.
Rath didn’t say anything. He walked away without a word, bypassing
his tent to bring me to the river instead. He didn’t bring us in it, he kept his
promise not to bring me there unless we absolutely had to. Instead, he sat
on the banks with me cradled in his lap, hugging me so tightly, I had no
hopes of escaping him. Not that I wanted to. If I could, I’d crawl under his
shirt and hide forever.
He waited for the sobs to stop. Waited for my tears to dry. And waited
more until I could speak around the hiccuping gasps to explain myself.
“Did… Did I ever tell you how I ended up here?”
I didn’t expect him to answer. I knew I didn’t. I was ashamed of how it
happened. I’d hoped I would never have to tell him.
“My father had been expecting me to find a bride. He didn't know of my
interests. I never planned on telling him. It isn’t legal in my town. And it’s
seen as disgraceful. I knew I wouldn’t be able to force myself to be with a
woman. I thought, if I kept waiting, he’d forget about it and I could live my
life alone. But the longer it took for me to find someone, the more irritated
he got. I was scared he’d force the issue, and I cried about it in my room
one night after he screamed at me. That’s when Fraser showed up.”
It still hurt, and it felt as though there was a ball of spikes in my throat,
making each sentence painful to bear.
“He played the doting brother. We’d never been close, but not estranged
either. He mostly ignored me. So I didn’t think to distrust him. He told me
he wanted to help me, that he worried about me whenever father yelled, and
he said if he knew what was going on, he could come up with a plan to fix
things. I trusted him…” Another sob bubbled up, threatening to choke me,
but I had to finish. Rath deserved to know. I was cast out by my own family.
I had no home to go to besides here. I was scared it would sway his
judgment of me, but after my outburst, I had no choice but to tell him.
 “I told him I wasn’t interested in females. That I preferred men. I
assured him I didn’t intend to act on it, I was happy to be alone with my
books. He said he’d help…” Sucking in a deep breath, I continued. “H-He
ended up going to my father, but not to help me. Instead, he told him
everything. My father was so angry, he disowned me without giving me a
chance to explain. Then he dragged me by my hair to the council estate and
offered me as tribute. The whole town feels as he does. They said if I ever
came back, they’d hang me. I don’t… I don’t have any family anymore.”

H earing how F inn ’ s family treated him , merely because of his

interest in men, sickened me. He was sweet and loyal, and he worked hard
to gain people’s approval. He worked so hard to know the language and
how things worked here that he could tell me his whole story without
needing a translator, and it had been little over a week. To cast him out,
despite all that, confused me. Who would give up someone like that?
As he explained his brother’s part in all of it, though, I slowly began to
understand his reaction to Godr’s prank. He’d meant no harm in it, he
wasn’t trying to be cruel. But by targeting me through Finn, he
unknowingly betrayed the man who took great leaps of faith to trust him
enough to speak with him like that. The logical part of me knew if Godr had
been aware, he would’ve never done such a thing, but the part of me
determined to protect Finn was angry. Violently so. He shouldn’t have done
it in the first place. Finn was too gentle to be part of his pranks. Anyone
could see that.
“Why didn’t you ask me when you had questions? Have I done
something to make you not trust me?”
That would hurt me greatly. I wanted nothing more than to earn Finn’s
trust and keep it. Just like his heart.
“N-No!” he practically shouted, sitting up abruptly to look at me. “No,
it wasn’t like that! I just…” He looked away again, embarrassment making
his shoulders creep up. “I wanted to please you. You take such good care of
me, and I know there’s more we haven’t tried. I thought if I surprised you,
we could–” He grimaced, hugging his arms around himself.
 I fought between elation that he was so eager to please me and upset
that I hadn’t shown him well enough that he pleased me just by staying by
my side. I didn’t need adventurous intimacy to be pleased with him, though
we would’ve gotten to that eventually. I planned on easing him into it, since
I knew he was inexperienced. With the shy way he reacted to me, as well as
the surprise when I tried something new, I didn’t need him to tell me
straight out he was a virgin. I didn’t want to frighten him with too much,
too fast.
Cupping his cheek, I stroked at the dried tear tracks on his face. I hated
so much to see him cry. It wasn’t something I could avoid, he was an
emotional man, but I aimed to limit it as much as I could. He deserved to be
always smiling.
After everything he’d told me, I wasn’t entirely sure where to start in
reassuring him. There was so much he was holding in. I chose instead to
show him how I felt, just as I had in the start of our time together. I drew
him closer, kissing him softly, with every ounce of love I felt for him, until I
felt tears dampen his cheeks again.
“Kolrav is the term we use with the ones we want to spend our lives
with. It is given only once, to our bondmate, and signifies in words that we
have chosen to spend our future with the one gifted it. In your tongue, it
means my love. I asked Zoya to translate it for me because I wanted to tell
it to you when I asked you to bond with me in front of the clan.”
Finn’s eyes went so wide, I feared they’d fall from his face. For a
moment, he was silent, but just like I expected he would, tears filled his
eyes and his beautiful smile overtook his face as he leaned his forehead
against mine.
“Truly?”
“Mm. I am supposed to let you get to know the other men who would
claim you, but I cannot. I want you for myself. I never want to let you go.”
The tears on his cheeks now were full of joy and happiness. He nodded
over and over, telling me without words how he felt about my proposal. I
would need to do it properly in front of the whole clan, but perhaps this was
better. After everything that happened to him, he deserved to have my full
focus. And he’d have it. For the rest of our lives.

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 Seventeen

W
e stayed out on the bank of the water, trading kisses filled with love
and devotion, until Finn got cold and kept trying to bury himself in
my tunic. His icy hands on my skin were my punishment for
keeping him out there in the chilled weather. When he began to shiver, I
scooped him up and carried him back, tucking his head under my chin as
we walked.
“Rath? Why did you take me to the water?”
“Privacy,” I answered, coming around to where my tent sat. And my
brother waited. “I knew he’d come looking for us.”
Finn’s arms tightened around my neck and he burrowed closer, his voice
terse. “I don’t want to talk to him.”
“No. I’ll deal with him. You get into bed. Warm it up for me.”
He scoffed, but didn’t reply. Instead, he hid his face as we came up to
my brother, hiding away until I could get him in the tent and safely away.
No one entered a man’s tent without express permission. It was understood
by all to be this way.
Setting Finn on the bed, I wrapped the blanket around him and
narrowed my eyes. “I’ll get you something warmer soon. You shiver in your
sleep if I move away from you.”
“So then, don’t move away from me,” he suggested cheekily. He was
trying to lighten the mood, but when I moved to step away, he grabbed my
tunic, his lip trembling. “Do you have to go?”
 “I won’t go far,” I promised. “He won’t go unless I speak with him.
Stay here.”
He leaned into my palm when I cupped his cheek, shutting his eyes. I
hated walking away from him when he was still so fragile, but my anger
towards my brother was simmering under my skin. I needed to deal with
him before I could properly comfort Finn.
Godr looked up at me when I stepped out of my tent again. He looked
abashed, but he didn’t know half of what he’d truly done to Finn. And I
wouldn’t discuss it here with Finn listening.
Fisting the back of his tunic, I shoved him away from the tent and didn’t
stop pushing until we were well away from Finn. When I released him, he
stumbled forward, shooting me a confused look.
“Rath, it was just a prank. I–”
“Enough! His own brother stabbed him in the back after promising to
help him. You saw it as a prank, but he trusted you and you threw it in his
face. It is a miracle he trusted you in the first place!”
Godr’s mouth fell open. It could have been because of what I revealed,
but it also might have been the fact that I was yelling. I wasn’t one to raise
my voice. Not at him especially.
“You should have never involved him in one of your pranks,” I growled,
glaring at him. “Targeting me is old hand for you. I know to expect it. But
you used him to get to me. My bondmate. Had I not questioned him and
explained things to him, it would have broken his heart to hurt me in that
way! I should gut you for hurting him! All the work put in to get him to
trust in our clan thrown away because you refuse to grow up and act like a
man!”
Godr flinched, dropping his gaze in his shame. Fury filled my veins. I
wanted to hurt him. Flashes of the look of betrayal on Finn’s face, the way
he screamed at Godr and trembled in my arms as he explained what
happened the last time he trusted a brother. It all fueled my rage until I
shook with it.
Orthorr’s hand on my shoulder kept me from hurting my brother. He
squeezed tight enough to ground me, urging me to back away from Godr. In
my anger, I’d stalked him until his back was against a tent and he couldn’t
move. We were toe to toe, and I only barely resisted the call for blood.
“Rath. Your bondmate is waiting for you.”
 Jerking around, I followed Orthorr’s gaze to where Finn stood, barely
hidden by a nearby tent, tears in his pale blue eyes. I took a step back, away
from Godr, and turned for Finn instead. He didn’t hesitate to reach for me
when I approached, cupping the back of my head as I lifted him off his feet
and buried my face in his neck.
“Let’s go,” he murmured, holding me as tight as I held him. “Please.”
For him, I let go of my anger and walked away, not stopping until we
were in bed and wrapped around each other. And for the first time, it was
my head tucked under his chin as he comforted me, stroking his fingers
through my hair and shushing me until I fell asleep in his arms.

“D o you ever braid it ?”

Finn sat on the bank of the river, watching as I lathered the soap in my
hair. I couldn’t coax him in to join me, he preferred the heated water, but he
didn’t seem to mind sitting with me, especially with the fur I brought him to
keep him warm. The fur I had made from the shadowstalker he helped me
kill. It wasn’t very large, but neither was he. It seemed fitting after the beast
tried to kill him.
“I don’t know how,” I replied before dunking my head to rinse out the
soap. When I came back up, I caught his heated look and smirked to myself.
He’d been clingy this morning, but not in an amorous way. He was still hurt
from Godr’s actions and needed my love, not my body, to help him recover.
When I came out of the water, he had a cloth ready for me to dry
myself. He hovered, but I didn’t comment on it. I preferred him close to me.
“I could… I could braid it, if you want.”
Tipping my head, I studied him. “You know how?”
There it was again. The apprehension that he didn’t have the day before.
We’d gone several steps back, and I still regretted not hurting my brother
for it.
I gave Finn a moment to gather his courage, rubbing my head
vigorously to dry my hair. In the summer, I would leave it alone, but it was
getting colder now. It was better to get the water out.
“I, um… My father used to throw parties. The guests brought their
children along. I preferred playing with the girls over the boys. It was
less… rowdy. A couple of them taught me to braid using ribbons pinned to a
cushion. I’ve never braided hair before, but…”
Pulling the cloth away from my face, I used it to snatch him against me.
As I was still wet, he squawked in protest, but he didn’t try too hard to
escape me. I took pleasure in that, how eagerly he pressed himself against
me, despite his complaints. Pressing a kiss to his lips to stall him before he
started to ramble again, I assured him, “Everything I have is yours.
Including my hair. If my bondmate wants to touch me, you’ll not hear me
complain.”
He flushed, a pleased smile on his lips. I kissed that too, merely because
I wished to. He hummed a happy sound, bouncing on his toes a little when I
pulled away to finish drying and dress myself. We were headed back to my
tent, hand in hand, when Godr appeared, looking a little like he hadn’t slept.
He opened his mouth, probably to apologize, but stalled out when he took
in the look on Finn’s face. I saw it too. He closed himself off, avoiding eye
contact, and wrapped his arms around his middle. Protecting himself.
Godr might be ready to apologize, but Finn wasn’t ready to hear it.
Tucking him against my side, I gritted my teeth when I saw the guilt
stricken look on Godr’s face. My fights with my brothers never lasted
longer than a few hours, but I wouldn’t push Finn to forgive him before he
was ready. Even if it hurt to see my blood brother suffer.
“A black eye would’ve been kinder,” I grumbled under my breath.
“What?” Finn looked up at me, the icy wall he’d thrown up in Godr’s
presence slowly fading the farther we got from him.
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. Come, kolrav. I have a comb you can
use to play with my hair.”
For a while, after we returned to our tent, as he brushed out my hair,
Finn was quiet. He was normally eager to converse and practice his
language skills, but I felt his turmoil. He was deep in thought, working
through his emotions, and I was happy to give him the time he needed until
he was ready to speak with me.
“You want me to forgive him,” he murmured, the gentle combing
movements slowing to a stop.
Looking over my shoulder at him, I offered him a patient smile. “What
do you want to do?”
He sat back on his heels, playing idly with the comb, his eyes in his lap.
“I want…” His lip trembled, and he dashed a tear as it slipped over his
cheek. “He– He didn’t know what it would do to me. It feels like I’m being
unfair taking it all out on him. But… it still hurt.”
Turning around completely, I bit back a smile when he immediately
crawled into my lap. He no longer felt the need to hold back until I offered
him affection. He trusted that I wanted him close, no matter what. Wrapping
my arms around him, I tucked his head under my chin, thinking through my
words.
“You’re right that he didn’t know. You weren’t ready to tell him. But he
should have known better. He has spent days with you. He should know you
well enough by now to understand you are not interested in pranks. It was
cruel to include you without your consent.”
He nodded, his fingers toying with my necklace. I hadn’t yet put on a
tunic, as my hair hadn’t fully dried. He traced his fingers over it, his soft
breath warm against my chest.
“That’s true. I never liked pranks. My brothers played them on me
often. I hated it. I’d never want to do that to someone else. Especially not
you.”
Finn didn't talk about his family much, but what little he expressed to
me gave me a clear impression of them. If I ever met them myself, I’d gut
them for the pain they caused him. He should have been treated more
gently. He should be treated that way now.
“Do you think I should forgive him?” he asked, a tremor in his voice.
“Not before you’re ready. But eventually, yes. Godr is not a cruel man.
Stupid, at times, but not cruel. He didn’t intend to hurt you. And tearing him
apart in front of the clan was an effective punishment.”
He hummed, capturing my hand that had been combing his curls and
pressing a kiss to my palm. “I forgot to thank you for that. It felt nice to
have someone stick up for me.”
I kissed the top of his head in response to his affection, but that wasn’t
what I was referring to. “It wasn’t me I was speaking of. You confronted
him for his wrong and put him in his place in front of the clan. You should
be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself like that.”
“Even though I cried and acted quite dramatically?” he asked in a small
voice.
“Mm. Even then. You were emotional because he was cruel. It is he who
will face the clan’s wrath for making you cry. Tributes are held in great
respect. Hurting you as he did won’t end well for him.”
 Finn sat up suddenly, eyes wide with worry. “They won’t hurt him, will
they?”
A smile tugged at my lips. He was angry, yes, and hurt, but he still cared
for Godr. He saw him as a friend. They would get past this eventually.
Hopefully soon, because I wanted my brother at my bonding ceremony.
“No. They won’t hurt him. But he will spend the next few days getting
scolded by every single person in the clan. And when my parents hear of
what he did, he’ll be lucky to escape unscathed.”
“Oh. Okay– Wait. Your parents?”

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 Eighteen

I
could tell Rath wanted me to forgive Godr. They were brothers. He tried
not to sway my judgment, but his face got tight whenever we walked
past him. So, despite the hurt that still tugged in my chest, I made eye
contact with Godr while we were eating by the fighter’s fire, allowing him
to come close to speak with me.
Rath stiffened beside me at Godr’s approach, but I put my hand on his
to stall him, nodding once to show him it was okay. He flipped his hand,
holding mine gently, and stayed silent, though his body language said a lot.
He was ready to defend me and hurt Godr if he made me cry again. I vowed
to do my best to avoid that, if only to keep Rath’s hands clean.
“I, uh… Can I sit?” Godr asked, pointing to a spot on the ground in
front of me. There were logs used for seating around the fire, but I sat on
the end. He’d have to lean around Rath to speak with me, or sit on the
ground. He chose the latter when I nodded. Crossing his legs, he settled in
front of me, then seemed like he was at a loss for words. He scrubbed at the
back of his neck, opening and closing his mouth like he wanted to speak,
but kept changing his mind.
“Get on with it already!” someone snapped from the other side of the
fire.
Godr scowled over his shoulder at them before turning back to me.
“Right. I, uh… I wanted to apologize to you, Finn. I had no idea playing a
prank would upset you. It wasn’t even a prank on you directly, so I didn't
even think about it.”
“That’s a horrible apology,” Zoya said loud enough for Godr to hear. I
hadn’t realized she was here, but when I looked over my shoulder, she stood
at my back, glaring down at Godr. It warmed my middle, having someone
so clearly on my side. Not to the same effect Rath’s defense had, but
something different. It felt as though I had a real friend.
Godr grimaced, his shoulders by his ears. “I’m trying,” he grumbled.
He was trying. He was terrible at apologies, but I could see the sincerity
on his face. It was a look my brothers had never had. They never even
bothered to try to apologize when they upset me. Not even the time they
shoved me into a tree and I fell and broke my arm, trying to get down. At
least Godr looked remorseful.
“Try harder!” someone else demanded. That got a few murmurs of
agreement. I looked around, surprised. I thought Rath was exaggerating
when he said the entire clan would scold Godr for upsetting me. But
everyone there was glaring at Godr, expecting him to make things right.
When I looked at Rath, he smiled softly at me, kissing the back of my hand,
silently saying he was there for me, even against his own brother.
I was overwhelmed by the support, and it took me a second to get
myself under control. Sucking in a shaky breath, I stalled Godr’s rambling
apology, which didn’t make much sense anyway.
“I… I think, if it had been someone else, the prank wouldn’t have hurt
so much. But I trusted you, and you lied to me. I don’t think… It won’t be
easy for me to give that trust back.” Pain and remorse overtook Godr’s face
and guilt ate at me. I didn't like seeing him so upset. “But… I’m willing to
try. As long as you promise not to do it again. Rath has been showing me
how I deserve to be treated. I won’t be so forgiving next time.”
The relief on Godr’s face was all-encompassing. His shoulders slumped,
and he nodded, accepting my conditions. “I’ll earn back your trust, Finn. I
promise. You’re my brother’s bondmate. That makes you my brother, too. I
will be a good brother to you.”
I wasn’t ready to think along those lines yet, but maybe, in the future, I
would be okay with it. For now, we’d take it one step at a time.
Verus strode up, a few other men I recognized but didn’t know their
names coming up beside him. They all crossed their arms, looking down
menacingly at Godr. “Well, you’ve earned Finn’s forgiveness. He’s nicer
than I am. I would’ve let you squirm a little while longer. But you haven’t
yet earned the forgiveness of the clan. That will be a lot messier.”
Godr blanched, looking up at them uneasily. “What would you have me
do?”
Verus tipped his head towards the forest. “Trench duty. For one moon
cycle. Perhaps next time you’ll think twice about making a tribute cry.”
I wrinkled my nose, turning to whisper in Rath’s ear. “You were right. A
black eye would’ve been kinder.”
He barked out a laugh, startling his brother. “Don’t worry, Kolrav. He’s
earned your forgiveness. He will work to earn the clan’s. And he will wear
his shame to earn mine.”
I frowned, but Godr seemed to understand what he meant. His head
hung when he pushed to his feet, his expression repentant. “As my brother
wishes.”
Confused, I watched as Rath pushed to his feet, squaring up to his
brother. Godr barely had his head up before Rath punched him hard enough
to send him to the ground again. The crowd cheered around us. I choked on
a gasp, startled, but it was Rath who gave Godr a hand and pulled him to his
feet again. They hugged it out, speaking low to each other, and then it was
all smiles again. I shot an incredulous look at Zoya, who rolled her eyes.
“Boys.”

I felt lighter when we walked back to the tent that night . I hadn ’ t
fully forgiven Godr, but he apologized and was willing to make amends and
that meant a lot to me. I leaned my head against Rath’s shoulder, our fingers
tangled together as we walked.
“Two days,” I hummed. When Rath told me of his intention to keep me,
I was almost giddy, but there was a level of trepidation as well. There was a
lot that could go wrong in two days. I almost wanted to hide away in the
tent until it was time so I could make sure nothing else awful happened. I’d
only been with the clan for two weeks, but the amount of ups and downs
had been a little dizzying.
Rath’s hand tightened on mine and when I looked up at him, his smile
was affectionate. How did I get so lucky to end up with him? Was this
somehow the universe’s way of making up for my childhood? Because if it
guaranteed I’d end up with him, I’d go through it all again, just to get back
to him.
Rath stepped into the tent first and came up short. I didn't have time to
react and bumped into him, nearly stumbling back from the shock.
“Rath? What is it?”
I peeked around him and my mouth fell open. The tent was in disarray,
blankets strewn and torn, Rath’s box of belongings dumped. The little table
that held the lantern was upended and the oil from the lamp was spilled in a
large puddle. My heart sank looking at it. My brothers had done something
similar a few times, usually in retribution when I’d done some imagined
slight. The once safe feeling I’d gotten was tainted now, just like it had been
when they’d done the same thing.
“Who…”
Rath shook his head. “I do not know. But I intend to find out.”
Spinning on his heel, he exited the tent again, dragging me with him
with a tight grip on my hand. He marched away, probably to inform his clan
brothers, while I took one last look over my shoulder with a frown. I didn't
think things like this would happen here. His clan was so accepting. And
they handled their problems face to face, instead of in backhanded ways. So
then why…
A flicker of something caught my eye just before we came around the
corner. It almost looked like a lantern…
Horror slammed into me and I wrenched my hand away from Rath’s,
racing back to the tent. Sure enough, there was a figure standing outside the
tent, a lantern in their hand. Their back was turned, so I couldn’t see who it
was, but it didn't take a genius to figure out their intention. A fire would
destroy everything of Rath’s, everything he’d made for me. I couldn’t let
that happen. I wouldn’t.
The figure heard my footsteps and turned right as I tackled them. They
screeched as they hit the ground, their weight pretty evenly matched with
mine. A woman? The lantern she’d been holding shattered on the ground
near our heads, lighting the grass aflame, but I couldn’t deal with that now.
The woman was screaming, trying to get away, and I wasn’t going to let
her. I was tired of people trying to ruin my happiness. I just wanted to live
my life. What was so wrong with that?
 “Finn!” Rath raced to help me, but the fire was spreading. He had to
deal with that first.
“Put out the fire before it spreads!” I shouted, scrambling to catch the
woman’s hands as she tried to shove me off her. She managed to grab my
hair hard enough to make my eyes tear up, but it left her vulnerable.
Pushing aside the fear and abhorrence for violence, I drew my fist back and
punched her in the face. She cried out in surprise, releasing me to touch her
injured cheek.
“How dare you!” she screamed, clawing at me again. I caught her hands
that time, pinning them both to the ground. “Get off me, you disgusting
little shit! Get off me!”
Startled, I nearly released her. I recognized that voice. It was the same
woman who attacked me and shoved me into the trench. She was alone this
time, without her group of friends, and once again trying to hurt me. This
time, she would’ve hurt Rath as well. I couldn’t abide by that.
Anger fueled me, I wanted to hit her again, but I couldn’t move without
releasing her. Instead, I screamed in her face.
“What did I ever do to you? Why do you keep attacking me? If anyone
is disgusting, it’s you for what you planned to do!”

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 Nineteen

“G oheadbutt
to hell!” she screamed back, lifting her head in an attempt to
me. I stayed out of range, though, so she missed. “Your
kind should be hanged! You’re disgusting!”
More clan members joined us, some helping Rath cover the flames with
dirt, while others pulled me off the woman and separated us. I didn’t fight
against them, they weren’t trying to hurt me like she was, but she didn’t see
it the same way. She screamed and lashed out, kicking and scratching
anyone who came in range before her arms were pinned to her sides.
“What is the meaning of this?”
The crowd parted for the clan leader, who I recognized from the new
birth celebration. He was an older barbarian, but still massive and burly.
The only difference being that his hair was white, and he wore robes instead
of the legwear and tunics the other barbarians wore. He looked at Rath, the
woman, then at me, raising an eyebrow in a silent demand for an
explanation.
Still breathing heavily from the fight, I looked around warily. I’d just
seen what happens when someone hurts a tribute. Since I was already part
of the clan, did those rules pertain to me as well?
A heavy hand on my shoulder drew my attention and Godr gave me an
encouraging nod. “Tell us what happened, brother.”
Bolstered by his support, I turned back to the clan leader. “We came
back to Rath’s tent tonight to find it in disarray. I didn't know why at first,
nor did Rath. He pulled me back out so we could speak with someone, I’m
assuming to get help.” I shot a questioning look at Rath, who nodded in the
affirmative. He looked pissed, but not at me. He was glaring at the woman.
“Right. So, we were going to leave to handle it, but right before we were
out of sight, I glanced back and saw someone sneaking up to our tent with a
lantern. “I gestured to the lantern on the ground. “There was spilled oil
inside. I feared whoever it was intended to light the oil and burn our things.
So I tackled her.” Frowning at my feet, I twisted my fingers nervously. “I
know we aren’t supposed to hurt tributes, but she was going to ruin Rath’s
things. I’m not sorry for what I did.”
My shoulders came up, waiting for the worst. If I didn’t apologize,
would they make me leave? Would I have to walk away from Rath? I could
lie if I needed to, but I wouldn’t mean it. I didn’t regret it. She deserved it.
“What is he saying?” the woman screeched, fighting against the hold on
her. “He’s lying! He attacked me! He said he would rape me! He should be
hanged!”
Horrified, I whipped my head up to look at her, but before I could
defend myself, someone in the crowd scoffed.
“He did not. He has no interest in females. You lie to save yourself.”
I knew that voice. Khaul stepped forward to translate, his lip lifted in a
sneer as he told the clan what she’d said. I hadn’t realized she didn’t
understand the barbarian language. She’d been here a few weeks at least.
She should have known enough to follow along by now.
Looks of disgust crossed the faces of the clan, all aimed at her. The last
time someone accused me of something, it ended poorly for me. This time,
no one believed her. The relief was so intense, I felt tears prick my eyes.
“Why attack him?” Khaul demanded to her. “What reason do you
have?”
She refused to answer him, instead focusing on struggling against the
man who held her. I hadn’t met him yet, but he looked resigned and angry,
like he’d dealt with her before.
“I, um…”
The clan leader looked to me again, his expression softening to
something more kind. “Finn? Do you have more to say?”
I didn't want to admit that she’d attacked me before. I hadn’t been lying
when I said I didn’t see her face, but I knew she was a woman. It might’ve
been easier to figure things out if I’d been honest about it. But it was
embarrassing and I hated how easily she got the upper hand.
Godr’s hand squeezed gently, reminding me of his support. When I
glanced at Rath, he was seething nearby, held back by Verus and a few
others to keep him away from the woman. This would only make things
worse.
Grimacing, I admitted, “This wasn’t the first time. She cornered me near
the trench and attacked me there too. She doesn’t like men who are not
attracted to women. She thinks it’s wrong. Lots of town people do.”
Rath’s eyes widened as he realized what I was saying. His head
whipped around and he fought harder against his clan brothers, roaring his
fury. I’d never seen him that way before. Even when Godr upset me, he was
angry but so much that he needed to be held back like that. I think if it had
been a man who’d attacked me, the clan wouldn’t have stopped him, but
she was half his size. If he hurt her for hurting me, she might not survive it.
“Finn.” The clan leader’s voice was calm, despite the tension in the air.
When I looked over my shoulder at him, he jerked his chin in Rath’s
direction. “Go to him. Only you can settle him now.”
Nodding, I edged around the broken lamp pieces and spilled oil. Rath’s
brother released him just as I threw myself at him. He had no choice but to
catch me or let me fall. His arms around me kept him from going after the
woman, clutching me tight. I wrapped my arms around his neck, petting his
hair and shushing him to get him to relax.
“I’m okay. I promise.”
He turned away from the crowd, putting a few steps between us and
them, and buried his face against my neck. While he took the time to calm
down, I listened as the clan leader confronted the woman.
“Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I didn’t do anything! He attacked me! Why aren’t you punishing
him?!”
“He was protecting his home,” the clan leader replied calmly. “Unless
you have some other explanation as to what you were doing here?”
She screamed and raged about the injustice of them punishing her, but
she didn’t offer any explanation. She couldn’t. The evidence was all there.
In the end, they tied her hands and took her away, and Godr offered us his
tent for the night, volunteering to stay with a friend instead. I was too
exhausted to clean up the mess she’d made, and Rath didn’t argue. He kept
me in his arms until we were safely ensconced in Godr’s tent, then held me
close as I cried until I fell asleep.
When I woke, I was in my favorite place, smushed so tightly against
Rath, that it was difficult to tell where he ended and I began. Normally, I
woke first, but this time, he was running his fingers through my hair,
pressing small kisses to the top of my head. Not to wake me. More like he
needed to touch to ensure I was okay, and he wasn’t really paying attention
to it. His movements stalled when I looked up at him, and when he glanced
down, he looked apologetic.
“Did I wake you?”
I shook my head. “No. I liked it. Did you sleep?”
“Mm. Some. I prefer my own tent.”
There was a significance to their tents that Zoya explained a little. Not
in a ton of detail, but she said it was equivalent to their homes and the space
was respected as theirs and they took pride in taking care of it. Which made
the woman’s actions even more deplorable. All because she didn't like my
preferences for men.
Sitting up, I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them. “I’m sorry. I
should’ve told you sooner. I was embarrassed that it was a woman who
attacked me. My brothers always said I wasn’t a real man. It just proved it
and I didn’t want you to see me that way.”
Rath sat up too, trailing his fingers along my jaw to draw my focus to
him. His smile was kind, like it always was when he looked at me, and it
only grew when I leaned into his touch.
“I do not see you as less than a man. Their gender was not important.
You are my gentle Finn. It is not in your blood to fight. There is nothing
wrong with this.”
It was the first time someone had ever said that to me. That there was
nothing wrong with who I was. He was right, I didn't like fighting. I never
wrestled with my brothers or learned to wield a sword like proper
gentlemen were supposed to. I stayed in the library and read my books and
wrote poetry from time to time, though I’d never admit that to my family.
The only reason I fought with that woman was because it would have hurt
Rath if she did what she intended. He was worth fighting for.
Releasing my grip on my knees, I turned and crawled into his lap,
hugging him tightly. He accepted my need for affection with a smile,
kissing my temple and holding me close until I was ready to face the world
again.
“We should go clean up your tent. With how cold it is, it will take all
day for the blankets to dry.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment before twisting until I was lying
beneath him with his big body between my thighs. My stomach tightened at
the implication, but we were in Godr’s tent, not ours and if he started
teasing me now, it would be hours before I got any relief.
“Rath…”
“Do you remember that thing my brother said he’d teach you about?”
My brow furrowed. Why was he bringing that up now?
“Yes… But you said he lied about that.”
He nodded seriously. “True. He did lie. But the act itself is real. It is just
done without teeth involved.” A wicked grin overtook his face. “Want me to
show you?”
My mouth opened and closed, a flush working its way down my neck
until my whole body felt hot. “You want to… put your mouth…” My
arousal swelled against his stomach, answering for me how I felt about it.
Everything Rath showed me was amazing, and this would probably be no
different, but still… “Here? Shouldn’t we wait?”
He lifted a shoulder, his expression smug. “It seems fitting to learn here
what he should have explained correctly the first time.”
And that was all the explanation he was willing to give. He disappeared
beneath the blankets, wrestling with my trousers and pushing the tunic out
of the way. And then his mouth was on me and I couldn’t breathe.
My back arched off the bedding, a strangled scream catching in my
throat. There was no teasing, no explanation or introduction. He sucked me
into his mouth without hesitation all the way to the root and bobbed his
head with enthusiasm. It felt as though he was attempting to suck out my
soul through my erection, the pleasure so intense I couldn’t make a sound. I
struggled to draw in a deep breath, scrambling for purchase and finding it in
Rath’s hair. When I finally managed to breathe, my release slammed into
me so hard, I quickly lost it again, my lungs tight as wave after wave of
pleasure slammed into me.
The entire experience was over embarrassingly fast, but I was too
delirious from the pleasure to panic over it. It felt as though I could feel my
heartbeat through my entire body, throbbing so loud, I could hear nothing
outside my heavy breathing. When Rath’s face came into my line of sight, I
tried to speak to him, but no words came out. I could only gape at him, my
mouth opening and closing like a fish.
That smug look came back, his eyes dancing with amusement. I could
not even be cross with him for looking at me like that. I was too
dumbfounded to speak.
Rath chuckled, pressing his lips against mine in a quick kiss. “You are
fun to surprise, kolrav. I will give you a moment to recover before we return
to our tent. You are right, the washing will take time.”
My eyes widened incredulously, but he only laughed at my expression,
tossing the blanket away and pushing to his feet. His erection strained in his
trousers and I felt guilty not reciprocating, but I needed time to recover, and
by the time I could think clearly, he was pulling me outside and toward his
tent. Then we were too busy cleaning and preparing the tent for me to find a
moment to pull him aside.
I didn’t actually end up learning anything from that lesson. It was too
fast and I was so stunned by the pleasure, I had no time to comprehend
what he was doing to me. It seemed, if I truly wanted to learn, I would have
to try it myself.

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 Twenty

I
was always aware when Finn woke. He stirred in my arms, snuggling
closer as he slowly woke. Most days, I pretended not to notice so that he
would not feel rushed to move. Since today was so important, I wanted
him to sleep as long as he needed. So when he began to wiggle lower, I
wasn’t sure what he was doing. Not until his beautiful lips wrapped around
the head of my cock.
A groan ripped from me and my already hard cock throbbed from his
attentions. I always woke this way, eager to pull him under me and grind us
both to completion. It had been my intention once he awoke, covering him
with my body so he felt safe and loved while I brought us both off. I hadn’t
been expecting this. He was timid, cautious not to hurt me, but seemed
eager to explore me with his tongue.
“Finn,” I growled, squeezing my eyes shut to better focus on not
reaching completion too quickly. It was hard to concentrate when he ran his
tongue along my length like that.
He pushed at my hip, encouraging me onto my back, and I went
willingly, spreading my legs to give him more room. When I lifted the
blankets to look at him, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were shut,
almost as though he were enjoying this as much as I was.
He attempted to bob his head and take more of me, but I was much
larger than he was, and he ended up gagging himself. The feel of his throat
constricting around me was divine, but I didn't want him hurting himself. I
cupped his chin, trying to draw his focus, but he batted me away, his face
full of determination as he sucked me down again.
“Ah! Finn… Go easy. You do not–” Another loud groan escaped me as
he suckled on the tip. I could barely think straight, much less give him
direction, but he’d said he wanted to learn more. I promised I would teach
him. “Do not take so much that it hurts you,” I panted out. “Use your hand
on the rest. Ungh. Yes… Yes! Like that!”
He used not one, but both hands on my length, to cover what his mouth
could not. His grip was tight enough to border on painful, but with the
suction of his mouth and his eager tongue swirling around the head of my
cock, it was perfect. I wouldn’t last much longer. His eager enthusiasm
balanced out his inexperience, until my thighs shook with the effort of
holding back my thrusts. I knew he wanted to bring me to completion with
his mouth, but desperation overtook me. I hauled him off my cock by his
arms, rolling him underneath me on his stomach.
His startled sound didn’t deter me. Lifting his tunic out of the way to
expose his ass, I pulled the cheeks apart and guided my erection between
them, rolling my hips once. The noise Finn made was both surprise and
arousal, his moan breathy and loud. Using his saliva on my cock as
lubrication, I rode the swell of his ass, the head of my cock bumping
intermittently against his hole. It was a terrible tease, I wouldn’t take him
like that until after the ceremony, but he seemed to like it. His delighted
moans were high pitched and needy, his fingers digging into the bedding as
he pleaded for more. His grasp of the clan language disappeared, his mind
too clouded with lust to translate his pleas, but I understood him well
enough.
A grunt punched through me with every thrust, a telltale tingle signaling
my imminent release. I needed Finn to get there first, so I hauled him to his
hands and knees, reaching beneath him to stroke his cock. It took only two
pumps of my fist to set him off with a wail. His sounds, combined with the
way his body contorted with pleasure and the fluttering of his hole teasing
me was enough to bring me off as well, a low growl in my throat. My
release spent across his ass, the image dragging out the pleasure as I
imagined it dripping from inside him instead of off him. Tonight. After the
ceremony. I would show him everything.
When I collapsed, I was careful to rest my weight on my forearms, my
body covering his enough to make him feel safe and loved without crushing
him. He lay quiet, panting beneath me, and I couldn’t resist pressing kisses
to every inch of him I could reach.
Humming a happy sound, his eyes fluttered open and he looked over his
shoulder at me.
“I love you.”
He murmured the sentence in his language, so I didn’t understand its
meaning, but when I tipped my head in question, he blushed and hid his
face in the bedding. I was prepared to tickle and tease until he told me what
he’d said, but footsteps approached my tent, and Verus called out a moment
later.
“My brother. Orthorr calls for you. He says to bring your bondmate with
you.”
His voice was unusually solemn. Finn heard it too and stiffened, unease
wiping away the bliss on his face. I did not know what Orthorr wanted from
us, but I didn’t think it would be good.
Instead of calling back to answer him, I pushed off the bed, covering
Finn before poking my head out of my tent. Tension pulled at Verus’s face,
and when he saw me, he looked apologetic.
“What is it?”
He shook his head. “I don’t speak the tongues of the town. You know
this. Just… you need to come. Now.”
Nodding once to acknowledge him, I ducked back inside to find Finn
trembling as he tried to wipe himself clean and dress. Verus’s tone was
frightening him. Kneeling in front of him, I cupped his cheeks, leveling him
with a look.
“Whatever it is, we will face it together. You are safe, my Finn. I
promise.”
Latching onto my arm, he choked on a sob, nodding. I helped him clean
up and get dressed, since his fingers shook too much to do it himself.
Pulling on my own clothing, I found myself wondering what else could go
wrong. In the limited time he’s been here, Finn had been attacked both by a
tribute as well as a shadowstalker. He’d been hurt by my own brother, and
had to fight to protect our home. It was as though forces were working
against us. Perhaps I would need to bring him to a shaman for a cleansing
ritual. I didn't really believe in the effectiveness of it, but my mother did.
Her clan had one, too, so I knew where to go.
 We joined Verus outside and he fell into step beside me, his expression
determined. Whatever we faced, Finn and I would not face it alone. One by
one, more clan members joined in a show of force as we marched to the
village center, where more stood in a half circle around Orthorr and three
men I didn’t recognize.
Finn’s spine snapped straight and his footsteps slowed. “George?”
The crowds had parted enough to allow us through, but the man didn’t
hear him at first. He was in discussion with one of his companions, his
expression dark. For a moment, I worried he was a past lover coming to
claim my bondmate. He admitted in being untouched, but he also said such
things weren’t allowed in his town. It could have been that they’d just not
found the opportunity to be alone.
When Finn stepped forward, my hand tightened on his, drawing him
back. I couldn’t stomach losing him. I’d fight the man if I had to.
“Who is that?”
“My brother.”

I never thought I’ d see anyone from my family again after my

father had me thrown out. George wasn’t even there when it happened. He
was the eldest, he lived in another town, and he only ever came home for
important matters. It had been an age since I’d seen him last.
“George?” I called again, louder this time. “What… What are you doing
here?”
Spinning to face me, his eyes trailed over me, narrowed and suspicious.
“Good. You’re unharmed. I told them if you weren’t, the contract we held
would be void.”
That was surprisingly thoughtful. I didn't think any of my brothers cared
about my wellbeing. But it didn't answer my question.
“What are you doing here, George? How did you even know where I
was?” This wasn’t the only clan that was part of the treaty accepting
tributes. It was a matter of luck that I ended up here with Rath.
“What do you mean, why am I here? I’m here to take you home. I can’t
believe Father allowed one of Fraser’s pranks to go this far.”
I shook my head, confused. “What are you talking about?”
 He rolled his eyes, irritation flashing across his face. George was never
a man of abundant patience. If I didn’t understand him the first time, he got
annoyed with me.
“I was visiting home when Father told me what he’d done. When I
asked for proof, he said he had none, but sent you off anyway. It is shameful
to our family to have one of my siblings here as tribute. Especially my
brother. They’re treating you like a woman and I won’t allow it. Now, let’s
go. We’ve found someone else to take your place so the treaty stands.”
He gestured to a disheveled and tearful woman on his horse who looked
absolutely terrified. Whoever she was, she didn’t agree to be here. She
shouldn’t have been dragged here in the first place.
“Fraser wasn’t lying, George. He stabbed me in the back by telling
Father, but he didn’t lie.”
“Of course he was lying,” George snapped, studying me again. “You are
only punishing Father by pretending so you can stay. It is a disgrace to think
that way. None of our family has ever been tainted as such.”
Drawing in a deep breath, I let it out slowly. I heard that mindset all my
life. It made me scared to live. I hid away so people wouldn’t catch on that I
wasn’t like them. That I was an abomination in their eyes. But having the
truth revealed turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
Here, with the clan, I was truly myself and they accepted me that way.
Nothing could convince me to go back. Ever.
“Then I guess it’s lucky that Father disowned me. I’m not part of your
family anymore. And I’m not leaving.” I reached out, taking Rath’s hand
and lacing our fingers together. “Fraser wasn’t lying. I am attracted to men.
I’ve fallen in love with one. And this clan accepts me the way I am. This is
my family now.”
Disgust swept over his face, along with a healthy dose of disbelief. He
still wanted to believe that I was lying to punish my father. But that wasn’t
what was happening. And I wasn’t interested in arguing about it. If he
wanted to force me to go, I had an entire army of barbarians at my back.
He’d have to go through them to get to me.
“So you’d rather live in sin and taint yourself like this instead of coming
home? You had such a terrible life that living with these… animals… is
better for you?”
Lifting my chin, I glared at him. “Yes. This is my clan. My family. And
no amount of belittling from you can bring you even close to their level. Go
home, George. Today is my bonding day and you’re not welcome to join.”
Never in my life had I felt confident enough to stand up to my brothers.
If I tried, I’d get a beating for the insult. Being with the clan made me
brave. And when George took a step toward me, his fury evident, the clan
pressed forward, surrounding me, putting a literal wall of muscle between
me and my past. Even he wasn’t stupid enough to challenge that.
“Fine. If that’s what you want, then you’ll need to live with the
consequences. Once I leave here, I won’t ever come back to save you.
You’ll spend your life on your knees just to be a brat.”
I didn’t respond to that. Partially because I knew nothing I could say
would make him accept me as I was. But also because I knew what he was
referring to, and I absolutely wanted to get on my knees sometime soon.
Rath seemed wild for it lying in bed. I wanted to know if I could make his
knees weak if he was standing.
As he approached his horse, the woman he’d brought with slid off the
other side, darting away to escape him. A familiar man, the one who’d held
back the woman who attacked me the other night, caught her in his arms
and tucked her behind him, shielding her from George. He scowled, but
paid no mind to it. She wasn’t worth enough to him to fight for. He
mounted his horse, raising his eyebrow and giving me a significant look,
like it would somehow sway me. Maybe before I would’ve jumped to
follow his order to keep him and my family happy, but not anymore. I kept
my chin up and didn’t waiver an inch. He sneered at me and turned his
back, steering his horse away.
“Wait!”
Surprised, we all turned to see the woman from last night. She had her
hands tied and she was disheveled. She’d obviously snuck out of where she
was being held again. A few fighters moved to stop her, but she screeched at
them and ran toward my brother, putting her hands up pleadingly.
“Take me with you! Please! I do not wish to stay here!”
From the look on George’s face, he wanted to refuse. He’d always been
selfish, and he never did anything for others unless he got something out of
it. Bringing me home wasn’t about rescuing me. It was about removing the
stain from our family name. I should’ve seen that coming the minute he
showed up here.
“She’d be a good match for Fraser,” I called out, catching his attention
again. “She comes from an influential family.”
 That was a lie. Maybe. I didn’t actually know. Or care, really. I wanted
her gone, and I wanted Fraser to suffer. Being married to a bitch like her
would probably do it. Or they’d be perfect for each other because they were
both horrible down to their cores.
The woman nodded furiously when George shot her a questioning look.
“Y-Yes, yes! My father is very influential. The only reason I am here is
because we held a raffle in my town and I was chosen. He was honorable
enough to be forced into sending me.”
I didn’t believe it for a second, but George apparently did. He jerked his
chin at one of his men, who scooped her up onto his horse. Without another
glance in my direction, they left, and my shoulders slumped with relief.
“Uh… Care to tell the rest of us what that was about?” Verus asked,
raising an eyebrow at me. That’s when I realized none of that was in their
language. They didn’t know what George said about me or what he wanted.
They stood by me anyway. It warmed me to my core and a smile broke out
over my face as I nodded.
“Sure. Where do you want me to start?”

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A
fter Finn explained what his brother wanted, I was furious, but he
proudly told everyone he sent the man away and he wouldn’t be
coming back, so I was forced to let that go. Still, I kept him glued to
my side until near when the ceremony was set to begin. Then, he was stolen
away by Zoya to get ready, while I went with my brothers to set up our tent
for the night. Not my tent, which they would be expanding to better suit a
couple while we were gone, but a tent further from the village where we
would have privacy as a newly bonded couple. They teased and joked about
what we would do there, but all of my brothers took a moment privately to
congratulate me for finally finding someone. They knew how badly I
wanted this.
After the tent was set, I returned to my own tent to get ready, picking
out my finest garments to wear. I was just finishing when a familiar voice
called for me.
“Do you plan on being in there all night?” he teased.
A grin stretched across my face and I ducked out of my tent to greet my
father. He pulled me in for a hearty hug, clapping me on the back. This was
his village once, but when another village was attacked and left in pieces,
he and a fair few of the older generation went to help. Eventually, he chose
to stay. My mother liked it there, too. I visited them and they came to see
me and Godr as well, but it had been a while since our last visit.
“Hello, Father. I’m glad you could make it.”
 He scoffed, throwing his arm around my shoulders as we headed toward
the village center. “Like I would miss my own son’s bonding ceremony. So
where is he? I thought he would be with you. I wouldn’t have been so polite
otherwise when coming to fetch you.”
Barking out a laugh, I shook my head. “He was kidnapped by the
females to help him get ready. They like his company. He is gentle and less
rowdy than we are.”
“Mm. Sounds like he suits you, then. You’ve always been fond of the
sweet things in life.”
I fought off a grin, because he wasn’t wrong, but I was unwilling to
admit it. He’d only tease me more. His personality was reflected in Godr. I
got my mother’s more calm persona.
My mother was speaking with Orthorr, her expression fierce. I worried
for a moment, until we approached them and I heard what they were
discussing.
“How dare he? Insulting his own kin on his bonding day and trying to
force him to leave. That poor boy. Is he even well enough to do this today?
We can delay until he’s had time to process.”
Orthorr chuckled, shaking his head. “Finn is a gentle soul, but he stood
his ground against his brother today. It was he who claimed the clan, not the
other way around. He will make an excellent addition to our people.”
Pride lit me up inside and I couldn’t help but smile. Finn would always
be gentle, it was just his way, and I liked that about him. But when it came
to the things he cared most about, he was as fiercely protective as I was.
He’d go against his instincts to protect his family. His clan.
I greeted my mother with a hug, listening to her coo over my hair. Finn
had stolen me away at one point to try his hand at braiding it. He was better
than he let on, and I told him to leave it for the ceremony. He was so
pleased, he nearly cried again. My sweet, gentle Finn.
The sun was beginning to set when the ceremony began. My breath
caught in my chest when Finn finally joined me. His hair had been partially
shaved on one side, leaving most of his curls intact while embracing the
ways of the clan. He wore a white tunic and legwear, as well as thick fur on
his shoulders. But it was his smile that stole my breath away. Gone was the
terrified and trembling man I’d pulled out of the receiving tent. In his place
was a man full of happiness and pride, his cheeks pink from all the attention
on him. Zoya and the others talked him through the ceremony so he’d know
what to expect, but he still cuddled up against my chest the moment he was
close enough, making the crowd chuckle. He blushed and ducked his head,
but he was smiling, knowing here he was truly accepted as he was.
Orthorr’s smile was patient and he waited for Finn to get his cuddles in
before starting the ceremony, speaking loud so the entire clan could hear
him.
“We gather today to celebrate this couple. To bask in their love and
commitment, both to each other and to our clan. Bondmates are more than
just lovers. They are partners in all things. Each challenge they endure, they
will face together. A fate only the bravest and strongest can wield.”
He turned to Finn, his expression kind. “We know not what the future
brings. Fate brought you here to us because you were needed here. Not only
as a tribute, but as a staunch defender of our way of life. We are honored to
call you brother.”
Tears spilled over Finn’s cheeks, which I’d expected. With his hands in
mine, he had no choice but to let them fall. Instead of embarrassment over
his display, he only smiled and murmured a quiet thank you to Orthorr, his
voice trembling with emotion.
With a nod, Orthorr turned to me, pride on his face. “Your clan saw
your heartache, brother. I was prepared to send you to another clan to find
your other half. Fate saw fit to bless us with this man so we could keep you
here. Honor the blessing she gifted you, so that we all can bask in her
grace.”
Dipping my chin, I turned to where Godr waited, the necklace I carved
for Finn in his hand. Finn looked curious when I showed it to him, his brow
furrowed.
“Isn’t that… Didn’t you start working on that right after I came here?”
He didn’t realize the implication of that, but the rest of the clan did.
Some laughed, others smiled, and a few called out a cheer. Finn looked
around in startled confusion before tipping his head at me.
Fighting back a grin, I nodded. “I did. I knew when I first saw you that I
had found my match. But since we didn’t speak the same language, it took
me a while to express that to you.” The crowd chuckled and Finn smiled,
shaking his head a little. Tipping my head towards the necklace, I
explained, “In our clan, when a man finds his bondmate, he offers them a
gift. Something to show his claim to the world. It would honor me if you
wore this, so everyone can see that you are mine and I am yours. And no
force can tear us apart.”
His brow furrowed, barely banked hope in his eyes. “Do you promise?”
My smile broke free and I nodded. “I promise, kolrav. You are my Finn.
I will protect our bond for the rest of my days.”
With a tear filled smile, he accepted my gift, his eyes full of love as I
slipped it over his head. It took some guesswork, I couldn’t make it the
same size as mine, but thankfully, it rested perfectly over his heart. He ran
his fingers over it, more tears spilling over his cheek, but his smile faltered
and a hint of panic overtook him when he looked up at me with wide eyes.
“Was I supposed to make something for you? I didn't know that. I didn't
ruin everything, did I? I don’t actually know how to carve, but–”
Chuckling, I silenced his rambles with a quick kiss. “Relax, kolrav. You
are my gift. Not any trinket. It is the clan member who supplies the
necklace.”
He slumped with relief, resting his forehead against me for a moment.
Laughter rippled through the crowd, but I was not bothered. My Finn was
emotional by nature. He cared deeply. Had it been required, I knew he
would’ve done everything he could to make me something from his own
hands. If he figured it out, he might still.
Orthorr cleared his throat, drawing the attention to him once more.
“Finn has accepted his bondmate and takes his place in our clan. As such,
we welcome them both home.”
Turning, I urged Finn to face the crowd. He looked curious, but no
longer frightened like he had been the day he arrived. He squeezed my
hand, resting his head against my arm, and smiled brightly as the clan
chanted together to welcome us. When they were through, I surprised him
by scooping him up like I had that first day, and kissing him senseless, until
the cheers of the crowd fell away and it felt like we were the only two who
existed in the world.

A barbarian wedding was much more fun than any that I’ d ever
been to. Once the ceremony itself was over, Rath and I were sat in big fancy
chairs on top of a platform, where we were greeted by each and every
member of the clan. It took a while, since this clan was bigger, and by the
time we got close to the end, people had been drinking for a while and the
greetings were starting to slur. I couldn’t stop laughing when Godr came up
for his turn and fell right back off, too drunk to stay on his feet. Rath
watched with wry amusement, shaking his head, and threw out a comment
about his brother being a lightweight.
Rath had been drinking too, though not nearly as much as the rest of the
clan. He offered me sips of his, since I still wasn’t great with the strength of
the beverage. I also think he was looking for any excuse to get me closer,
because whenever I leaned in to take a drink, he found some place to kiss
me. My temple, my cheek, my neck. The attention was enough to keep me
buzzing with excitement for what would come later. I didn’t care how
embarrassing it was to ask outright. I wanted Rath to take me. And after we
were alone, I was going to ask him to. He was my bondmate. He wouldn’t
shame me for the request.
“You’re blushing,” he murmured against my ear, pressing another kiss
just underneath it. “Have you had too much to drink, or are you thinking
about what I will do to you tonight?”
I sucked in a breath, biting back a whimper when he kissed his way
down my neck. Maybe I didn’t have to ask, then. He seemed to be thinking
of something similar.
“W-What were you planning?” I asked breathlessly, shivering when he
nipped at my skin.
Before he could answer, an older couple came up to join us, forcing us
apart. The man looked like he was fighting back a laugh, but the woman
had a patient smile and she nudged her companion with her elbow before
introducing herself to me.
“Hello, Finn. I am Theslei, and this is my bondmate, Odvef. We are
Rath’s parents.”

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 Twenty-Two

M
y stomach dropped and I straightened abruptly, shooting Rath a
panicked look. He told me his parents would be here to celebrate
with us, but I didn’t feel prepared to meet them yet. The only parent
I’d ever had disowned me and sold me to a barbarian clan less than a month
ago. What if they thought I wasn’t good enough for their son? Could they
make him take the bonding necklace back?
Theslei’s smile was warm as she took my hands and pulled me out of
my seat and into a hug. “Relax, child. I know of your family. It does not
make you any less deserving of my son.” She released me and squeezed my
hands instead. “You make him very happy. I’m honored with the gift you
have given him.”
“O-Oh… Um… He’s more the gift than I am. He was my protector
when I first arrived, and he takes care of me.”
“You are gifts to each other. As it should be,” she replied. Leaning
closer, she whispered, “I always believed he needed a bondmate with a
gentle spirit. He enjoys taking care of people.”
I ducked my head to hide my smile. No one seemed to have a problem
that I wasn’t strong or a fighter. They were just happy that I matched Rath
so well. I still wanted to find a way to serve the clan, but Zoya said there
was no rush. I’d only been here a few weeks and there were lots of jobs I
could help with until I found one that suited me best.
 “My turn,” Rath’s father, Odvef, said, nudging his bondmate out of the
way. She scowled at him, going to give her son a hug while Odvef wrapped
me up in one of his own. While we were so close together, he murmured in
my ear, “So I heard one of my sons made you cry. Tell me what he did so I
can deal with him properly.”
I rolled my lips between my teeth, fighting back a laugh. Godr really
was getting hell for what he did. And he still greeted me with a smile every
morning. He was a good brother. Though I was curious to see what his
parents would do to him once they heard the story.
Zoya told me the party would go all night, so when Rath offered me a
hand and led me away, I wasn’t sure what was happening. We weren’t
going back to our tent, instead heading in the opposite direction, closer to
the river. When I noticed the solitary tent all on its own, I frowned at him.
“We aren’t moving, are we? I like our tent.”
He chuckled, shaking his head as he led me inside. “No, kolrav. This is
just for now. Unless you’d like the whole clan to hear you tonight.”
My face flushed, excitement and nerves making my belly tighten as he
lit the lantern in the corner. The only thing in the tent was a bed, with
mounds of blankets and furs to keep us warm, and a small table with a
lantern and what looked like a bottle of oil. Did he plan on leaving it on all
night?
“My Finn,” Rath murmured, stepping up to me. Looking up at him, I
felt my heart leap, the look of love and lust in his eyes making me tremble
with want. I suddenly needed to touch him. Needed to be pressed against
him. But we were both still dressed and that was too many layers between
us.
Lifting onto my toes for a kiss, I wasn’t disappointed. Rath met me
halfway, sealing our lips together in a passionate kiss. He drew me against
him with one massive arm, the other cupping my chin as he took my mouth
how he pleased. I was so lost in the feel of his tongue gliding against mine,
I didn’t notice my feet leave the ground until he was laying me back on the
bedding so thick, we sank into it.
Rath sat back, pulling his tunic in a way that I was sure he didn't mean
to be seductive, but made me shiver watching him. He tossed it aside,
leaving just his necklace and all those tattoos. Shirtless, with the lighting
behind him, and his long hair braided, he truly looked like a barbarian,
ready to have his wicked way with me. I felt my arousal twitch in my
trousers at the image alone.
“Rath…”
A grin spread across his face, like he knew the effect he had on me.
Dropping to all fours, he loomed over me, only leaning down far enough to
run his lips over my neck.
“What do you want, my Finn? Anything you ask of me, it is yours.”
Arousal and embarrassment warred in me, but I trusted Rath. I didn’t
need to be embarrassed with him.
“I want… I want you to take me…”
He growled in approval, claiming my lips fiercely. I gasped at the
sudden move and he took advantage, tangling his tongue with mine. Rough
hands pulled my tunic free so he could touch my skin underneath. They
skimmed up my chest, thumbs teasing over my nipples until I whimpered
and squirmed. Then his lips replaced his hands, pulling the tunic out of the
way with each hot kiss he trailed over my skin. A small cry escaped me
when he flicked his tongue over my nipple, dragging into a moan when he
sucked it next. He pulled my tunic off before switching to the next to give it
equal attention.
“Rath, Rath, please…” I murmured, squirming and writhing beneath
him. We hadn’t even taken our trousers off yet, but I was already on edge.
What was he doing to me?
Trailing his tongue down my chest and abs distracted me from him
untying my trousers until he was pulling them down my legs. He tugged off
each boot and my trousers, leaving me naked and exposed. For a moment, I
thought to cover myself, but Rath was my bondmate. My body was his to
command. I let my hands rest near my head, trembling as his heated gaze
skimmed over my body. My erection rested stiff against my belly, so needy
it was weeping against my belly. My chest rose and fell rapidly, a whimper
catching in my throat when he chose only to stare.
“The gods blessed me when they sent you to me,” he murmured. I
wasn’t entirely sure he’d meant for me to hear it. He was too busy
devouring me with his eyes for me to be sure.
Just when I thought to sit up and take matters into my own hands, Rath
moved, standing long enough to shuck his trousers and boots. It was my
turn to stare, my mouth going dry at the sight of him. I’d obviously seen
him before, especially this morning when I took him into my mouth, but it
looked bigger standing up away from his body. Godr explained to me what
needed to happen to help me take it, and he warned me that it could be
uncomfortable, but still I was eager for it. I’d dreamed of being taken in that
way, and I was finally getting my wish with the most perfect bondmate in
the world.
Rath turned momentarily, returning to the table to pick up the oil. I
frowned when he turned back with it in his hand.
“What is that for?”
One corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk, but he didn’t answer me. He
showed me instead.
Dribbling the oil on his fingers, he settled over me again, his weight on
his hand by my head as he sipped and teased at my lips. When he reached
between us, I thought he would touch my arousal again. Instead, he went
further, tracing his fingers along my crease. A sound I’d never made before
escaped me, like a strangled groan only louder. Desperation dumped into
my veins and I grew frantic, pushing back against his hand, until Rath
stopped me, settling on his elbow so he could blanket me with his body and
stop my movements.
“Shh… slowly, kolrav. We have all night.”
“P-Please. I’ve never– I’ve always wanted– Please!”
He groaned, resting his forehead against mine. “I cannot say no to you.
Alright, kolrav. I’ll give you what you need. But let me take care of you. I
do not wish to hurt you.”
I nodded rapidly, accepting his kisses as a distraction. This time, he did
not tease when he touched me again. He ran his oiled fingers over my hole,
softening it to his touch. He swallowed my needy moans, pushing one
finger in once he decided I was ready. The stretch was new and it burned a
little, but not enough to deter me. I gasped with each drag of his finger,
clinging to his shoulders, until my body relaxed and he pushed in another.
“R-Rath!”
“That’s good, my Finn. Just relax. I’ll take care of you.”
If he took care of me any better, I was going to reach completion before
we could get much farther. I took to rocking my hips, driving his fingers
deeper. He pulled away enough to watch me, his face lax as he took in my
expression.
“Oh, Finn. You are such a delight.”
“Please. More…”
 His eyes slipped shut for a moment and he took a deep breath, like he
was trying to calm himself, but when he opened them, his eyes were alight
with passion. He pulled his fingers out, coating them with more oil, then
pushed back in with a third finger to join the other two.
The burn was stronger this time, enough to make me hesitate, but then
Rath did something with his fingers, crooking them somehow, and it felt as
though a bolt of pleasure shot up my spine, making me cry out. He played
with that spot, brushing over it with every thrust of his fingers, until I was
almost sobbing with the desperate need to release.
“Rath, please!”
“Anything you wish for is yours, my sweet Finn.”
I protested when he pulled his fingers free, but he ignored me, gripping
me by the hips to flip me onto my front. When he dragged me onto my
hands and knees, I recognized the position and anticipation made my
stomach clench. I looked over my shoulder at him, watching him use the oil
on his cock. Shuffling closer, he pressed kisses along my back until he
reached my mouth, capturing my lips just as he pushed inside.
“Oh, Rath!”
He groaned my name, fingers digging into my hips as he slid in one
inch at a time. It hurt, but it felt like something I’d been missing my whole
life at the same time. Tears spilled down my cheeks, even while I pleaded
for more, until his hips pressed against mine and the entirety of his length
was buried inside me. He paused then, draping his body against my back
with one arm hugging my chest.
“Are you alright, my Finn?”
It took a few moments to take a breath deep enough to answer him. “Y-
Yes, but… I need– I think I need you to move. Please.”
He obliged, rocking his hips, and my mouth fell open in surprise. “Oh.
Oh, gods! Rath!”
“Yes, Finn. Just like that.”
His hips slowly picked up speed, each thrust sending explosions of
pleasure throughout my entire body. Tension coiled low in my belly,
tightening further with every slap of his skin on mine. I’d never felt
anything like it before, and I never wanted it to end. But my body was
making demands, and I didn’t think I’d last much longer either. It was too
good. And the moment his oiled hand wrapped around my erection, I had no
choice in the matter. I came with a scream of pleasure, suddenly grateful he
thought to bring us away from the clan for the night.
Rath straightened suddenly, holding my hips as his thrusts grew rougher
and more powerful. He grunted with each thrust, sending shivers up my
spine. That feeling of pain and pleasure mixed together picked up again,
pushing me towards the edge again. When he pushed harder with his
thumbs, tipping my hips just a little, it changed the angle and that spot that
he introduced me to while prepping me was struck dead on. A strangled cry
escaped me. Rath took notice of it and aimed for that spot, making my eyes
roll into my head from the pleasure. I clenched automatically, which
seemed to set Rath off.
“Ungh! Finn!”
It was too much. I couldn’t take any more. The tension snapped and I
exploded again, this time coming so hard, I couldn’t hold myself up
anymore. Rath caught me before I could collapse, groaning long and loud in
my ear as he reached completion inside me. It went on and on, until we both
toppled to the side, wrapped around each other and out of breath.

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I
didn’t realize we’d both fallen asleep until I felt Finn squirming again. It
couldn’t have been long, it was still dark and the lantern was still lit, but
he was moving like he wanted to get free of my hold.
“Finn?” I asked blearily.
He froze, looking over his shoulder at me guiltily. “Y-Yes?”
“What’s wrong? Why are you trying to pull away?”
If he was uncomfortable or in pain, I wanted to know so I could take
care of him. I asked the healers for a salve to help his discomfort, but I’d
fallen asleep before I could use it on him.
“N-Nothing is wrong. Go back to sleep.”
That sounded suspicious, and not like my Finn. Sitting up, I looked
down at him to better understand what was going on. And what I found
surprised me. Finn was aroused, trying to hide his cock behind his hands as
he blushed furiously and avoided my eye. A smile tugged at my lips, but I
pursed my lips to hide it, guiding his chin so he could look at me.
“Kolrav. Why are you hiding from me?”
He squeezed his eyes shut, his shoulders by his ears. “I’m sorry! I didn’t
want to wake you, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what we did and how
amazing it was, and I couldn’t calm down. I was only going to step outside
to cool off so you could rest, and– mmph!”
It took very little effort to flip him and pin his hands above his head,
exposing his needy cock to me. Pushing my tongue into his mouth stopped
his rambling, and after a quick check to make sure he was ready, I was
pushing inside him again. He let out that sound he’d made when we started,
a desperate sort of moan that told me he was getting exactly what he craved.
Guiding his legs around my hips, I rocked into him, swallowing his moans
until he stiffened and came with a cry. The tight grip of his ass on my cock
was enough to drag my release from me moments later. Breathless and still
buried inside him, I shifted my weight to my forearms and ran my fingers
through his unruly curls.
“No matter the time of day or night, I will gladly give you what you
need. Had I thought you were ready for it, I would have asked right after the
first time. But you needed rest. I don’t want to hurt you.” He opened his
mouth to argue, but I silenced his protests with a kiss before leveling him
with a look. “You never have to go off alone anymore. It’s my job as your
bondmate to take care of you. I want to take care of you. You are not a
burden to me, Finn. You are my everything.”
Big tears filled his eyes and he closed his eyes when I leaned my
forehead against his. I knew this was not about me but the way he was
raised. It was hard for him to see himself as worthwhile after years being on
his own. I would spend my life showing him he deserved to be cared for,
until he finally believed me.
“I love you,” he murmured. He’d said that before, but I still didn’t know
what it meant, as he always said it in his language. But then he repeated it
in the clan tongue, and I finally understood.
“You are my other half.”
My chest felt tight as my heart filled to bursting. Dipping my head, I
took his lips in a soft kiss, pouring every ounce of my love for him into it.
When I lifted my head, his tears were accompanied by a smile. Happy tears.
I could accept this.
“And you are mine, kolrav. You will always be mine.”

I t took some reassurance from R ath that I wasn ’ t being

bothersome by asking for more of his attention. After I woke him for the
third time and he smiled as he pushed inside me, I was beginning to believe
him. The fourth time surprised even me. I was insatiable, finally
experiencing the kind of pleasure I’d only ever dreamed of. I recreated
waking him up that morning, but this time by sitting on his cock. He woke
up with his head thrown back, groaning out his pleasure, and took me with
a punishing pace in response.
I passed out after that round, too exhausted to go again. Rath used a
salve on me after each round, but I didn’t even feel him apply it before I
was asleep. I woke up tucked against his side, covered in soft furs, and so
unbelievably sore, it brought tears to my eyes.
“I worried you would feel like this in the morning,” Rath said, worry in
his voice. When I looked up at him, he was already awake, his thumb
stroking my cheek as he studied me with a frown. I wanted to complain
about the pain, but I couldn’t regret what we’d done.
I shook my head, forcing myself to remember the pleasure as opposed
to the pain. “I’m okay.”
He raised a knowing eyebrow and I corrected myself.
“I’ll be okay. I don’t regret it. I don’t regret a single moment with you.”
A smile spread across his face, and he distracted me from the pain for a
little while with soft kisses and loving caresses, until my bladder protested
and we had to get up.
“You know what would help ease the soreness?” he asked as I came
back around the tree I’d used for privacy.
I tipped my head curiously. “What?”
He gave a significant look to the river.
“Oh no. No! It’s too cold!”
He didn't let me argue with him, plucking me off my feet and into his
arms with a laugh. I tried to wriggle free, but he was too strong.
“Please, Rath! It’s too cold!”
“I’ll keep you warm,” he said, kissing my forehead as he walked us
straight into the icy water. He wasn’t wrong that it helped ease the pain, but
it also made me numb all over, and the little fire he built in front of our tent
wasn’t enough to warm me. I curled under one of the furs, shivering, while
he made the flames a little bigger, but it wasn’t until he picked me up and
sat in front of it with me cuddled in his arms that my teeth stopped
chattering.
“You’re mean,” I whined when I noticed he was fighting off a smile.
Chuckling, he peppered my face with kisses until I smiled back at him.
“I’m sorry, my Finn. I only wanted to help.”
 I pushed out my lip in a pout. “Maybe it helped numb it, but it didn’t
make it go away.”
“No. That will take time. The salve helps. I’ll apply more after we eat.”
The clan had provided a gift basket of smoked meats, breads, and fruit
for us so we could hole away together for a few days without being
interrupted. No one had told me about this part, and I was thrilled when
Rath said we’d be staying together in bed for three days. I was less thrilled
when I realized I would be too sore to enjoy it past the first night.
“You’re pouting,” Rath pointed out, rubbing his forehead against mine.
“Tell me why so I can fix it.”
That made me smile. My big barbarian was always so determined to
take care of me. I just wish he could do it in the same way he did last night.
One night wasn’t enough.
“I wish we could’ve had more than just one night. We can’t do anything
more because I’m sore.”
If my family saw me pouting like this, they would have berated me for
days about acting like a man. Rath only smirked and shook his head.
“No, kolrav. There is more. Much more.”
He had a look in his eye that promised I’d enjoy the things he was
thinking about. Maybe not with him inside me, but there was more than just
that to explore.
“Really?”
“Want me to show you?”
My sweet barbarian had already shown me so much. Kindness,
patience, acceptance. From day one, he was determined to make my life
better than I ever dreamed it could be. He showed me what it meant to be a
true family, and how to trust someone after I’d been so hurt before. He
showed me how to love. How to accept love in return, though I was still
learning that one. He never rushed me or demanded more than I could give.
And each lesson only made me fall further in love with him.
I looked forward to whatever it was he wanted to show me next.

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 Did you find a typo?

This book has been edited and reviewed to find any typos and mistakes, but
alas, we are only human. If you spot an error, please let me know! I want to
hear from you so I can fix it!
Send me an email at [email protected] or send me a
message on my Facebook group page.

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Also by Amy Padilla
DALLYING WITH DEMONS
Dating a Demon
Taming a Demon
Claiming a Demon
Loving a Demon
Saving a Demon

CHARMED AWAY TEMP AGENCY

The Incubus’s Assistant
The Dragon’s Aide
The Shapeshifter’s Secretary
The Telepath’s Temp
The Vampire’s Deputy

NOT-SO-SAVAGE BARBARIANS
The Barbarian’s Tribute
Saved by a Barbarian
Seducing a Barbarian
The Barbarian’s Claim
The Physician’s Barbarian
The Barbarian Prince

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 About the Author

Amy is an introverted squish who loves Happily Ever Afters, Magic, and True Love. While she
doesn't stick with one specific subgenre, her favorite tends to be fluffy paranormal romance. In
between writing books (like several. At one time. Because squirrel.) Amy likes to read and play
relaxing video games. Her kindle is stuffed with romance and she hoards trophy books on her
shelves. You can find her most nights pretending to be fancy with a glass of sparkling cider and a
good book.
Send her a message. She might be an introvert, but she won't resist being adopted by an extrovert.

Don’t forget to join her Facebook group for the latest updates and more!

Sign up for her newsletter on her website to get more news and occasional shorts.

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