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 Volume | 365
Domestic and
Family Violence

Edited by Justin Healey

 Volume | 365
Domestic and
Family Violence

Edited by Justin Healey

First published by

PO Box 438 Thirroul NSW 2515 Australia

www.spinneypress.com.au

© The Spinney Press 2014.

COPYRIGHT
All rights reserved. Other than for purposes of and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Australian
Copyright Act 1968 and subsequent amendments, no part of this publication may in any form or by any means
(electronic, mechanical, microcopying, photocopying, recording or otherwise) be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system or transmitted without prior permission. Inquiries should be directed to the publisher.

REPRODUCTION AND COMMUNICATION FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES

The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10% of the pages of this work,
whichever is the greater, to be reproduced and/or communicated by any educational institution for its educational
purposes provided that the educational institution (or the body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice
to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.

For details of the CAL licence for educational institutions contact:

Copyright Agency Limited, Level 15, 233 Castlereagh Street Sydney NSW 2000
Telephone: (02) 9394 7600 Fax: (02) 9394 7601 Email: [email protected]

REPRODUCTION AND COMMUNICATION FOR OTHER PURPOSES

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by any means without prior written permission. All inquiries should be made to the publisher at the address above.

National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry

Title: Domestic and family violence / edited by Justin Healey.

ISBN: 9781922084316 (ebook)

Series: Issues in society (Balmain, N.S.W.) ; v. 365.

Notes: Includes bibliographical references and index.

Subjects: Family violence--Australia.

Marital violence--Australia.

Other Authors/Contributors: Healey, Justin, editor.

Dewey Number: 362.82920994

Cover images: Courtesy of iStockphoto.

 CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1 UNDERSTANDING DOMESTIC AND FAMILY VIOLENCE

Family and domestic violence 1
Are you happy? Abuse and violence 3
Quiz: are you being abused? 5
Mythbusting violence against women 6
General intimate partner violence statistics 8
Violence against women: a summary of key statistics 10
Relationship violence 13
Signs of an abusive relationship 18
Domestic violence support 19
Domestic violence – why men abuse women 20
Are you experiencing violence or abuse in your relationship? 22
Young people who use violence in the home  24
How does domestic and family violence affect children? 28

CHAPTER 2 DEALING WITH DOMESTIC AND FAMILY VIOLENCE

Family violence 29
Are you using violence or abuse in your family or intimate relationships? 32
What to do if someone you know is in an abusive relationship 34
Trouble at home: young people living with family and domestic violence 35
Domestic violence – tips for children  39
Frequently asked questions about telling someone 41
Victims of domestic violence 44
Risk factors for domestic violence 46
How can the law or police protect me?  49
Managing differences and conflict  51

Exploring issues – worksheets and activities 53

Fast facts 57
Glossary 58
Web links 59
Index 60
 CHAPTER 1
INTRODUCTION
Chapter heading

Domestic and Family Violence is Volume 365 in the ‘Issues in Society’ series of educational resource
books. The aim of this series is to offer current, diverse information about important issues in our
world, from an Australian perspective.

KEY ISSUES IN THIS TOPIC

Domestic violence refers to acts of violence that occur between people in an intimate relationship in domestic
settings; family violence is a broader term referring to violence between family members as well as violence
between intimate partners. These violent acts include physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse.
This book reveals the prevalence and causes of domestic and family violence, and explains ways of dealing with
domestic abuse. Domestic violence is more than a crime, it is an abuse of power by someone in a position of trust.
Are you safe in your own home?

SOURCES OF INFORMATION
Titles in the ‘Issues in Society’ series are individual resource books which provide an overview on a specific subject
comprised of facts and opinions.
The information in this resource book is not from any single author, publication or organisation. The unique value of
the ‘Issues in Society’ series lies in its diversity of content and perspectives.
The content comes from a wide variety of sources and includes:
hh Newspaper reports and opinion pieces hh Statistics and surveys
hh Website fact sheets hh Government reports
hh Magazine and journal articles hh Literature from special interest groups

CRITICAL EVALUATION
As the information reproduced in this book is from a number of different sources, readers should always be aware
of the origin of the text and whether or not the source is likely to be expressing a particular bias or agenda.
It is hoped that, as you read about the many aspects of the issues explored in this book, you will critically evaluate
the information presented. In some cases, it is important that you decide whether you are being presented with
facts or opinions. Does the writer give a biased or an unbiased report? If an opinion is being expressed, do you
agree with the writer?

EXPLORING ISSUES
The ‘Exploring issues’ section at the back of this book features a range of ready-to-use worksheets relating to
the articles and issues raised in this book. The activities and exercises in these worksheets are suitable for use by
students at middle secondary school level and beyond.

FURTHER RESEARCH
This title offers a useful starting point for those who need convenient access to information about the issues
involved. However, it is only a starting point. The ‘Web links’ section at the back of this book contains a list of useful
websites which you can access for more reading on the topic.
 CHAPTER 1
Understanding domestic andChapter
family violence
Heading

FAMILY AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

FACT SHEET INFORMATION COURTESY OF WHITE RIBBON AUSTRALIA

D HEALTHY OR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

omestic violence is a widespread though often
hidden problem across Australia. It occurs in
all parts of society, regardless of geographic
location, socio-economic status, age, cultural and ethnic Characteristics of Characteristics of
background, or religious belief, and its often devastating SAFE AND HEALTHY ABUSIVE
effects – psychological, social and economic, short-term relationships relationships
and long-term – rebound on families, children, and the
community as a whole. Partnerships Domination
Joint decision making Abuser decides
What is domestic violence? Shared responsibilities Servant/master mentality
Domestic violence is an abuse of power perpetrated
mainly (but not only) by men against women in a Economic equality Economic control
relationship or after separation. It occurs when one
partner attempts physically or psychologically to Freedom to decide Deny job freedom
dominate and control the other. Domestic violence issues of work, Withhold money
school and money
takes a number of forms. The most commonly
acknowledged forms are physical and sexual violence,
Emotional honesty Emotional manipulation
threats and intimidation, emotional and social
abuse and economic deprivation. Many forms of Feel safe to admit Use jealousy, passion,
domestic violence are against the law. For many and share fears and stress and frustration to
indigenous people the term family violence is preferred insecurities justify actions
as it encompasses all forms of violence in intimate,
family and other relationships of mutual obligation Sexual respect Sexual abuse
and support. Accept that Force partner to do things
(Partnerships Against Domestic Violence) “no” means no against his/her will
Domestic violence is the patterned and repeated use Physical safety Physical abuse
of coercive and controlling behaviour to limit, direct,
and shape a partner’s thoughts, feelings and actions. Respect partner’s Hit, choke, kick, pinch, pull
An array of power and control tactics is used along a physical space hair, poke, twist arms, trip,
continuum in concert with one another. Express self non-violently bite, restrain, use weapons
(Almeida & Durkin 1999, p.313)
Respect Intimidation
Domestic violence is generally understood as Respect right to differing Charming in public,
gendered violence, and is an abuse of power within feelings, friends and menacing in private
a relationship (heterosexual or homosexual) or after activities Destroy property or pets
separation. In the large majority of cases the offender Support partner’s goals Make light of abuse:
is male and the victim female. “You’re too sensitive”
Children and young people are profoundly affected
by domestic violence, both as witnesses and as victims, Support, trust Control
and there has been growing recognition and concern
about this in recent years. Listen and understand Name calling, mind games
Many Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander comm- Value partner’s opinion Isolate partner from
unities prefer the term ‘family violence’. ‘Family’ covers friends and loved ones
a diverse range of ties of mutual obligation and support,

Issues in Society | Volume 365 Domestic and Family Violence 1

 POWER AND CONTROL CYCLE Domestic or family violence may involve a wide range
of behaviours, including:
L VIOLENCE SEXU •• Physical abuse – including direct assaults on the
S ICA AL
PHY
Using coercion Using body, use of weapons, driving dangerously,
and threats intimidation
Making and/or carrying Making her afraid by using
destruction of property, abuse of pets in front of
out threats to do something looks, actions, gestures
to hurt her – threatening – smashing things –
family members, assault of children, locking the
to leave her, to commit destroying her
suicide, to report her property – victim out of the house, and sleep deprivation
Using to welfare – making abusing pets – Using
economic abuse her drop charges displaying emotional abuse •• Sexual abuse – any form of forced sex or sexual
Preventing her from get- – making her weapons. Putting her down –
ting or keeping a job – mak-
ing her ask for money – giving
do illegal
things.
making her feel bad about degradation, such as sexual activity without
herself – calling her names
her an allowance – taking her mon-
ey – not letting her know about or
– making her think she’s crazy – consent, causing pain during sex, assaulting
POWER playinghermind games – humiliating
have access to family income.
AND
– making her feel guilty. genitals, coercive sex without protection against
Using male privilege CONTROL Using isolation pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease, making
Treating her like a servant – Controlling what she does,
making all the big decisions –
acting like the ‘master of the
who she sees and talks to,
what she reads, where
the victim perform sexual acts unwillingly,
castle’ – being the one to
define men’s and Using Minimising,
she goes – limiting her
outside involvement
criticising, or using sexually degrading insults
women’s roles. children denying and – using jealousy to
Making her feel blaming justify actions. •• Verbal abuse – continual ‘put-downs’ and
guilty about the Making light of the
children – using the abuse and not taking her humiliation, either privately or publicly, with
children to relay messages. concerns about it seriously –
saying the abuse didn’t happen attacks following clear themes that focus on
– shifting responsibility for
abusive behaviour – intelligence, sexuality, body image and
saying she caused
PHY
it. capacity as a parent and spouse
SICA L AL
V I O L E N C E SEXU •• Emotional abuse – blaming the victim for all
problems in the relationship, constantly
© Pence and Paymar (1986).
Reference: Pence, E. & Paymar, M. (1986). comparing the victim with others to undermine
Power and Control Tactics of Men who Batter. self-esteem and self-worth, sporadic sulking,
Duluth, MN: Minnesota Program Development, Inc. withdrawing all interest and engagement
(e.g. weeks of silence)
CYCLE OF VIOLENCE •• Social abuse – systematic isolation from family
and friends through techniques such as ongoing
rudeness to family and friends, moving to
Honeymoon Tension building locations where the victim knows nobody, and
Victim’s response Victim’s response
• Sets up counselling Abuser Abuser • Attempts to calm forbidding or physically preventing the victim
for him • Apologises • Sensitive • Tries to reason
• Drops legal • Promises won’t
happen again
• Nitpicks
• Yelling
• Tries to satisfy from going out and meeting people – in effect,
proceedings with food
• Agrees to return, • Tries to justify his behaviour
• Blames drugs or alcohol
• Withholds affection
• Put-downs
• Agrees with imprisonment
stay and take • Avoidance
• Declares love • Threatens
him back
• Forgives • Wants to be intimate • Crazy making behaviour
• Withdraws
• Compliant •• Spiritual abuse – denying access to ceremonies,
• Hopeful • Buys gifts • Destroys property • Nurtures
• Relieved • Promises to get help • Accusations of land or family, preventing religious observance,
• Happy • Promises to go to church unfaithfulness
• Enlists family support
DENIAL • Isolates her forcing victims to do things against their beliefs,
• Cries • Engaging her to argue
• Threatens suicide denigration of cultural background, or using
Abuser
religious teachings or cultural tradition as a reason
• Verbally abuses and humiliates
• Slap • Punch • Kick • Choke • Grab
for violence
• Forces sex • Beats • Prevents her
from calling police or leaving •• Economic abuse – complete control of all monies,
• Harasses and abuses children
• Restrains • Spits • Stalks • Use of no access to bank accounts, providing only an
weapons • Objects thrown
inadequate ‘allowance’, using any wages earned
by the victim for household expenses.1
Acute explosion
Victim’s response
• Protects self any way
• Tries to reason and calm NOTES
• May or may not call police
• Leaves 1. Commonwealth of Australia (2001). Working Together Against
• Fights back
Violence: the first three years of Partnerships Against Domestic
Adapted from Lenore Walker, The Battered Woman (1986) Violence.
Reference: Walker, L. E. (1979). The Battered
Woman, New York: Harper & Row. White Ribbon Australia (2009). Family and Domestic Violence
(Fact sheet 6). Retrieved from www.whiteribbon.org.au in July 2013.
These graphics were reproduced from The Hurt Project: DVD
Training Guide. Perth, Western Australia, with the kind permission
of the author of the DVD Training Guide, Nicole Leggett, Project
Officer, WCDFVS. Reference: Women’s Council for Domestic
and Family Violence Services, Western Australia. (2008)

and perpetrators and victims of family violence can

include, for example, aunts, uncles, cousins and children
of previous relationships.

2 Domestic and Family Violence Issues in Society | Volume 365

Are you happy? Abuse and violence
There are steps you can take and services to get help, according to this
advice from the Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria

A
re you worried about how •• Making you feel guilty about to do. Forcing you to have sex is
you are being treated by going to work or socialising a criminal offence, even if you
your partner or husband, •• Constantly checking up on your are married.
boyfriend or girlfriend, a family whereabouts.
member or a carer? It can be difficult Stalking is when a partner, ex-
to recognise the signs of abuse. Abuse in relationships, partner, or someone else follows
Abuse in relationships, which which is also called ‘domestic you around, or repeatedly tries to
is also called ‘domestic violence’, is contact you, even if you’ve said you
any behaviour that causes physical, violence’, is any behaviour don’t want this.
sexual or emotional damage, or that causes physical, sexual
causes you to live in fear. Non- or emotional damage, or Physical abuse includes pushing,
physical forms of abuse can be just causes you to live in fear. hitting, throwing objects, driving
as damaging as physical violence. dangerously to frighten you, or
Non-physical forms of abuse threatening to physically harm you,
Emotional abuse is when some- can be just as damaging as other people, or pets.
one: physical violence.
•• Constantly puts you down or Can this be
criticises you Financial abuse is when your happening to me?
•• Threatens to stop you from partner or another family member “I kept pretending to myself that
seeing your children, or takes control of your financial it wasn’t that bad. It took a long time
•• Threatens to commit suicide affairs when you don’t want them for me to admit I was being abused.”
if you leave the relationship. to, or prevents you from having
access to money. Abuse can be difficult to identify,
Social abuse may include: because an abusive person doesn’t
•• Preventing you from seeing Sexual abuse is making you do always act this way. Sometimes they
your friends and family sexual things that you don’t want may be loving and kind. But if you

Issues in Society | Volume 365 Domestic and Family Violence 3

 often feel afraid of upsetting the •• Changed your behaviour accor- dvrcv.org.au for more information.
other person, and you change what ding to what they says they want The counsellors at these services
you do to avoid their anger, then this •• Tried hard to protect the kids are experienced in helping people
is a sign that you are being abused. from seeing or hearing the abuse to deal with abuse. They won’t
See also Quiz: Are you being abused? •• Attempted to talk to them about pressure you to leave, or to take any
on page 5. their behaviour action unless you are ready.
•• Tried to fight back against the
How might this abuse. Understand that abuse and
be affecting me? family violence affects children.
All forms of abuse have damaging Give yourself credit for every- If abuse or violence is happening
consequences. Your confidence can thing you tried. But in the end, to you, your children will most
become worn down by abuse. only the abusive person can change likely be aware of it, even if they
their own behaviour and treat you don’t witness it directly. There
If you have been in an abusive with respect. are things you can do to help
relationship you may feel: your children. For information on
•• Afraid to tell anyone What can I do? how to help protect children, see
•• Worried that it’s your fault No one likes, asks for or wants Family Violence Hurts Kids Too on
•• Depressed and alone to live with abuse or violence, but the DVRCV website, www.dvrcv.
•• Confused working out what to do, or whether org.au. Teenagers can read the
•• Scared of coping on your own to stay or leave can be hard. Bursting the Bubble website, www.
•• Scared it will get worse if you Maybe you love the person who burstingthebubble.com
leave is treating you like this. Maybe
•• Worried about what others will you feel trapped or scared of what Protect yourself. Everyone,
think they might do if you leave or what regardless of their age, ability,
•• Afraid that no one will believe might happen to you if you are ethnicity, sexuality, religion or
you on your own. culture, has the right to live free
•• Frustrated and sad because Remember that abuse can, and from abuse, fear and threat. It’s
you’ve tried everything. usually does, get worse. against the law for someone to
physically hurt you, threaten you,
Children are also affected if they Some of the or to coerce or force you into sexual
live in a home where there is abuse. things you can do contact. You also have the right to
Remember, you’re not to blame The first thing is to understand equal treatment before the law.
for the abuse. You have a right to that the way you are being treated
feel safe and to live a life free from is not okay. The quiz (on the next Your safety is important
intimidation. page) can tell you if there are warning It’s important to think carefully
signs that you are being abused. about your safety and prepare
Common ideas about The most important warning sign yourself in case you or your children
why violence occurs is how you feel – do you feel happy, are placed in physical danger.
•• ‘They had a sad or difficult safe, respected or cared for? If you It’s against the law for someone
upbringing’ don’t always feel like this, there’s to physically hurt you, threaten
•• ‘They drink too much’ something wrong. Trust your you, or to coerce or force you into
•• ‘They have a stressful job’ instincts. sexual contact.
•• ‘They can’t control their anger’ If you are in immediate danger,
•• ‘Something about you causes Remember, abuse is not your or if you have been physically or
them to abuse you’. fault. Don’t blame yourself. sexually assaulted, threatened or
stalked, you can call the police on
At times, we all experience stress, Talk to someone you trust. You 000. If there’s sufficient evidence,
trauma, anger and fear. An abusive don’t have to go through this alone. they should lay criminal charges.
person may use these things as Finding the strength to talk to If you need to stay somewhere
excuses for their behaviour, but someone else can be hard, but many safe, contact the Women’s Domestic
really they behave this way to try to people who have experienced abuse Violence Crisis Service (see Support
control what you do. say that the most helpful thing was & Services on the DVRCV website,
getting support from someone else. www.dvrcv.org.au) to find out
How have you Talking about the abuse and how about women’s refuges. Refuges
coped until now? you feel can help you decide what provide free and safe accommoda-
You may have: to do. Talk to a friend, a family tion services.
•• ‘Tiptoed’ around their moods member or a counsellor. Whoever If you need legal protection from
•• Seen less of your friends and you talk to shouldn’t judge you. further violence, you can apply for
family See our services page at www. an Intervention Order (in Victoria).

4 Domestic and Family Violence Issues in Society | Volume 365

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 QUIZ: ARE YOU BEING ABUSED?
Our relationships and families should provide us with the things we all need: like love, being
cared for, support and safety. But sometimes this is not our experience, according to the
Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria

Does your partner, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your friend, your carer, or a family member:
•• Make you feel uncomfortable or afraid? •• Tell you how the household finances should be
•• Often put you down, humiliate you, or make you spent, or stop you having any money for yourself?
feel worthless? •• Stop you from having medical assistance?
•• Constantly check up on what you’re doing or •• Scare or hurt you by being violent (like hitting,
where you are going? choking, smashing things, locking you in, driving
•• Try to stop you from seeing your own friends or dangerously to frighten you)?
family? •• Pressure or force you to do sexual things that you
•• Make you feel afraid to disagree or say ‘no’ to don’t want to do?
them? •• Threaten to hurt you, or to kill themselves if you
•• Constantly accuse you of flirting with others say you want to end the relationship?
when this isn’t true? •• Have your children heard or seen these things or
been hurt themselves?
If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then there are signs that you are not
being treated right, or that you are being abused.
If you don’t feel safe, respected and cared for, then something isn’t right.
•• Abuse happens when one person tries to control possessive and jealous to stop you from speaking
or hurt another. to friends or family. Forcing or tricking someone
•• Abuse may be physical, such as hitting, pushing into doing sexual things is also abuse.
or choking. •• These things can be just as hurtful as
•• Abuse can also be other things, like putting you physical violence.
down and making you feel worthless, or being

RELATED LINKS
•• ‘Are you happy? Abuse and violence’ information •• Stories from people who have experienced abuse
on abuse or violence in relationships – – www.dvrcv.org.au/stories
www.dvrcv.org.au/help-advice/are-you-happy
Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria. Quiz: Are you being abused?
Retrieved from www.dvrcv.org.au on 19 July 2013.

This is a court order that can say talk, or just to get information on young people on relationships.
the abuser is not allowed to hurt or what you can do. It has safety plans, helpful ideas,
threaten you, or is not allowed to They won’t judge you, and a relationship quiz and other
come near you. If the abuser disobeys they’ll take all forms of abuse advice
the Intervention Order, he can be seriously. They’ll respect your •• Bursting the Bubble – a guide
charged with a criminal offence. choices, including whether you leave for young people on abuse in
Contact the services listed for more or stay with your partner. families
information on your legal rights. •• Men who have been abused by
See Legal Protection and Safety RELATED LINKS female partners can read stories
Ideas on the DVRCV website, www. •• Many people who have exper- and advice from other men who
dvrcv.org.au ienced domestic violence have have been abused
sent us their stories and advice. •• To order a pamphlet on domestic
Who can I talk to? See Stories at www.dvrcv.org.au violence, see Publications www.
Family and friends can be sup- •• Family violence hurts kids too – a dvrcv.org.au for an order form.
portive, but sometimes they don’t guide to helping children
understand the seriousness of abuse. •• Abuse in lesbian relationships Domestic Violence Resource Centre
If you have any concerns about •• Guide for women with disabilities Victoria (2011). Are you happy?
being abused, you can contact a – getting free from abuse Abuse & violence. Retrieved from
counselling or outreach service to •• When love hurts – a guide for www.dvrcv.org.au on 19 July 2013.

Issues in Society | Volume 365 Domestic and Family Violence 5

 MYTHBUSTING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL AUSTRALIA BUSTS SOME OF THE MORE COMMON
MYTHS ASSOCIATED WITH VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
“I choose to dress like this so I should expect to be In Australia, one in three women who have
sexually assaulted one day.”
been in a relationship have experienced
“Well, he did pay for dinner so, in a way, I could have violence by a partner.
expected that he would rape me.”

T
Domestic violence contributes to more ill health
hese statements are two of many commonly held and premature death for women aged 15 to 44 than any
myths about violence against women, myths other single factor.
that minimise the seriousness of the crime In Australia, one in three women who have been in
and the responsibility of the attacker. They affect the a relationship have experienced violence by a partner.
way women feel about themselves when they have
experienced violence and the way they are treated by Myth – Most of the time, violence
other people. against women is committed by strangers
The myths help perpetuate violence against women Women face the greatest risk of violence from men
by making the abuser’s actions seem acceptable, which they know, not from strangers.
stops women from seeking help and stops others Of the women who are assaulted, more than
from helping. two-thirds are assaulted by men known to them: dates,
The first step towards challenging the violence is boyfriends, marital partners, friends, family members
to understand the reality behind the myths, enabling or neighbours. Most women can avoid being alone at
women to come to terms with what is really happening night in dark alleys, but they still won’t be safe. When
to them and exposing violence for what it really is – a a woman knows the man who sexually assaults her, it
social concern, not just an individual problem. is less likely that it will be recognised as a crime, even
by her. But these sexual assaults are not a matter of
Myth – Violence against miscommunication – they are just as much a crime as
women isn’t that widespread a sexual assault committed by a stranger.
The statistics speak for themselves. Violence against
women is alarmingly prevalent. Myth – Violence only happens
in poor and uneducated families
The statistics speak for themselves. Violence The belief that women are more often assaulted by
working-class men or men of particular ethnicities is
against women is alarmingly prevalent. a stereotype rooted in racism and prejudice. Abusers
come from all walks of life, all backgrounds and anyone
can be abused. Wives of judges, teachers, doctors and
politicians suffer from domestic violence. Violence
happens in all types of families, in urban and rural
communities, in all ethnic groups, in rich, poor and
middle-class families to people of any age. Violence
crosses all boundaries.
Older women and women with disabilities are often
dependent on their family for support, shelter and
daily living requirements, such as medicine and meals.
Abuse may be physical or it may come in the form of
neglect by a family member withholding assistance
or food. This type of abuse goes largely unreported.
Even when they are pregnant, women suffer from
domestic violence.
There is no specific type of home in which violence
happens. For this reason, it is often called the most
‘democratic’ of all crimes.

Myth – She asked for it.

She deserved it. She provoked it.
No one deserves or asks to be beaten or emotionally
abused. Perpetrators often blame women for provoking

6 Domestic and Family Violence Issues in Society | Volume 365

them and women often blame themselves because they
have been consistently told that violence is all their fault.
No behaviour justifies a violent response. There is no
excuse for violence.
There is only one person who is responsible for viol-
ence – the abuser. The abuser makes the choice to abuse.

Myth – Everybody knows what kind of

girl she is ... She wasn’t wearing much ...
Rape is never the victim’s fault. No one asks to
be raped and no one deserves it. Rape is not caused
by women’s choice of clothes or women’s behav-
iour. It happens because perpetrators choose to
commit a crime.

There is only one person who is responsible

for violence – the abuser. The abuser makes
the choice to abuse.
Myth – Things can’t be that
bad if she hasn’t walked out
There are many reasons why women stay with
someone who has been violent towards them. The most
compelling reason is that it can be safer to stay. Research
has shown that violence often escalates and becomes The fact that a woman is unwilling or
more unpredictable when women leave. Leaving can
unable to leave does not excuse the violence
be dangerous. Staying can enable women to have some
control, however limited. committed against her.

There are other reasons why a woman does not just

Do something about
leave a violent situation, such as:
violence against women today
You can take action to stop violence against women
•• Dependence on her partner’s money or earnings
now on our Stop violence against women campaign
•• Fear, shame, guilt
page www.amnesty.org.au/svaw/. You’ll also find more
•• Family pressure to keep the marriage intact
information on the campaign, some great resources,
•• Children
news and blogs.
•• Fear of being socially isolated
•• Hope that the husband really will change.
Amnesty International Australia (2009).
The fact that a woman is unwilling or unable to leave Mythbusting violence against women. Retrieved
from www.amnesty.org.au on 19 July 2013.
does not excuse the violence committed against her.

Myth – Violence is in men’s nature

Violence is not built into men’s genes – using violence
is a choice men make to exercise power and control.
Many men are not violent towards their partners
or families. Of those who are, most who assault their
partners confine the violence to the privacy of their
home. Violent husbands are not likely to attack their
bosses or any member of the public because they are
frustrated.
“Often prolonged exposure to violence has the effect
of making the woman believe that she deserves to be
hurt. It distorts your confidence and some women
may start to rationalise their partner’s behaviour.
Often, the only provocation has been that she has
simply asked for money or food, or not had a meal
ready on time, or been on the telephone too long.”
Women’s Aid Federation of England

Issues in Society | Volume 365 Domestic and Family Violence 7

 General intimate partner violence statistics
The following fast facts were compiled by Rosa Campbell, on behalf of the
Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse

Domestic violence is widespread throughout the Australian population and intimate partners. In the Personal
is a gendered crime. However, estimates of the prevalence of domestic Safety Survey, Australia, 2005, 61%
violence vary depending on the definition used. of women who had experienced
The two surveys most commonly quoted in Australian research are the violence by a previous partner
Personal Safety Survey, Australia, 2005 conducted by the Australian Bureau reported that they had children
of Statistics (2006), and the Australian component of the International in their care at some time during
Violence Against Women Survey (Mouzos & Makkai 2004). The Australian the relationship. Over a third of
Institute of Criminology monitors the rate of homicide in Australia, including women (36%) who had exper-
domestic homicide (Virueda & Payne 2010). ienced violence by a previous
partner said that their children
Prevalence of who experienced sexual violence, had witnessed the violence (ABS
domestic violence 28% experienced a threat of 2006, p.11).
•• The nationally distributed sexual assault (ABS 2006, p.11). •• The Personal Safety Survey,
Personal Safety Survey, Australia, •• In the Australian component of Australia, 2005 also found that
2005 found that 15% of Australian the International Violence Against 59% of women who had
women had experienced physical Women Survey, over a third of experienced violence by a prev-
or sexual violence from a women (34%) who had a current ious partner since the age of
previous partner and 2.1% from or former intimate partner fifteen were pregnant at some
a current partner since the age reported experiencing physical time during the relationship. Of
of fifteen. In contrast, 4.9% of and/or sexual violence since the these women, 36% reported that
Australian men had experienced age of sixteen (Mouzos & Makkai violence had occurred during a
violence from a previous partner 2004, p.44). pregnancy and 17% had exper-
and 0.9% from a current partner ienced violence for the first time
since the age of fifteen (ABS Domestic violence is when they were pregnant (ABS
2006, p.11). 2006, p.11).
•• The above survey estimated that
widespread throughout
35% of men and women had the Australian population Reporting and help seeking
experienced physical assault and is a gendered crime. •• Many victims of domestic
since the age of fifteen, with 10% However, estimates of the violence do not report the inci-
of men and 4.7% of women dent to police. In the Personal
prevalence of domestic
experiencing physical violence in Safety Survey, Australia, 2005,
the previous twelve months violence vary depending on 63.2% of women who experi-
alone. However, where men were the definition used. enced physical violence at the
typically assaulted by a stranger, hand of a male partner (current
women most often experienced •• Of those in a current relationship, or previous), boyfriend or date in
physical assault in the context of 9-11% reported experiencing the previous twelve months did
domestic violence. Overall, 31% physical or sexual violence from not report the most recent inci-
of women who experienced their partner at some point in dent to the police (ABS 2006,
physical violence in the past their lifetime (Mouzos & Makkai, p.21).
twelve months were assaulted by p.46). In addition, 37-40% •• The survey found that 82% of
a current and/or previous partner, reported experiencing at least women who had experienced
compared to 4.4% of men (ABS one type of controlling behav- violence at the hand of a current
2006, p.9). iour, most commonly name partner in the past twelve months
•• The Personal Safety Sur vey, calling, insults, put downs or did not report it to the police.
Australia, 2005, also found that behaviour that made the woman This figure dropped to 38.9% for
1.6% of women had experienced feel bad (Mouzos & Makkai 2004, women who had experienced
sexual violence in the previous p.48). violence by a previous partner in
twelve months, with 81% of those this same period (ABS 2006, p.21).
experiencing sexual assault. In Children affected by •• In many cases, violence continues
21% of the sexual assault incidents, intimate partner violence despite women’s attempts to seek
the violence was perpetrated by •• Children may also be negatively legal protection. The Personal
a previous partner. Of the 1.6% affected by violence between Safety Survey, Australia, 2005

8 Domestic and Family Violence Issues in Society | Volume 365

 found that 10% of women who Survey (IVAWS), Research and Public The Clearinghouse is linked to the
had experienced violence by their Policy Series 56, Australian Institute of Centre for Gender-related Violence
current partner had successfully Criminology, Canberra. Studies, based in the University of New
hh Virueda M & Payne J 2010, Homicide in South Wales, School of Social Sciences
sought a violence order against and International Studies.
Australia: 2007-08 National Homicide
them. Despite this, 20% of
Monitoring Program annual report, The Australian Domestic & Family
women who had violence orders Monitoring report no 13, Australian Violence Clearinghouse is funded by the
issued said that the violence was Institute of Criminology, Canberra. Australian Government Department of
ongoing (ABS 2006, p.11). Families, Housing, Community Services
82% of women who had and Indigenous Affairs.
Homicide
•• In a worst case scenario, domestic
experienced violence at the
violence can result in homicide. hand of a current partner Campbell, R (2011). General intimate partner
violence statistics (Fast facts 1). Retrieved
In 2007-08, most of the 260 in the past twelve months from www.adfvc.unsw.edu.au in July 2013.
incidents of homicide were did not report it
domestic homicides involving
the death of a family member
to the police.
(n=134) (Virueda & Payne 2010,
© 2011 Australian Domestic & Family
p.7).
Violence Clearinghouse
•• Of the 134 domestic homicides, The University of New South Wales
intimate partner homicides Sydney NSW 2052
made up 60% (Figure 4). Of these, p: +61 2 9385 2990
women made up the majority of f: +61 2 9385 2993
victims (n=62, 78%) (Virueda & freecall: 1800 753 382
e: [email protected]
Payne 2010, p.19).
www.adfvc.unsw.edu.au

REFERENCES The views expressed in this Fast Facts

hh Australian Bureau of Statistics 2006, sheet do not necessarily represent the
Personal Safety Survey, Australia, 2005 views of the Australian Government or
(reissue), cat. no. 4906.0, ABS, Canberra. the Australian Domestic & Family Violence
hh Mouzos J & Makkai T 2004, Women’s Clearinghouse. While all reasonable care
experiences of male violence: findings has been taken in the preparation of this
from the Australian component of the publication, no liability is assumed for
International Violence Against Women any errors or omissions.

Issues in Society | Volume 365 Domestic and Family Violence 9

 Violence against women:
a summary of key statistics
FACTS AND STATISTICS FROM THE OFFICE FOR WOMEN
FACTS AND STATS Minister and

T
he focus of the Don’t Cross the Line website is Cabinet, AGPS,
on the development of respectful relationships. Canberra) to
Therefore, information provided on this page examine changes
focuses on an analysis of community attitudes, as well in attitudes
as prevalence data. over time.
Formally released in April 2010, the National Survey In examin-
on Community Attitudes to Violence Against Women ing community
supports the need for community education campaigns attitudes towards
that focus on how to develop respectful relationships. violence against women,
The key findings of the survey are outlined below. NCAS uses the term
‘violence against women’
National Survey on Community Attitudes and a range of other terms
to Violence Against Women (NCAS) (2009)1 including ‘domestic violence’,
The National Survey on Community Attitudes to ‘family violence’, ‘rape’ and ‘sexual
Violence Against Women 2009 (NCAS) focuses on assault’, and ‘sexual harassment’. This
community attitudes towards interpersonal forms was done both to examine attitudes
of gender-based violence as they affect women. The towards particular forms of violence against women and
survey conducted by the Victorian Health Promotion to reflect the diversity of terms in use in communities
Foundation (VicHealth) and funded by the Australian and scholarly circles.
Government, involved approximately 13,000 men
and women from across Australia and included A copy of the report is available from the VicHealth
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, people website: www.vichealth.vic.gov.au
from culturally diverse communities and a sample of
The main findings as identified in the fact sheet are
16 and 17 year old respondents.
provided below:2
•• Most people in the community have a broad
There were three key components to the nat-
understanding of domestic and sexual violence and
ional survey:
its impacts, and do not condone it.
•• Telephone interviews with over 10,000 people across
•• Since 1995, there have been some significant and
Australia about their attitudes towards violence
positive shifts in the general community’s attitudes
against women, with a minimum of 1,000 interviews
and beliefs towards violence against women.
conducted in each state/territory. The 2009 survey
•• This overall trend is encouraging and provides the
included 16- and 17-year-old respondents (where a
impetus for continuing to improve preventive
parent consented).
programs that will contribute to the elimination of
•• Telephone interviews with an additional 2,500 first
violence against women.
and second generation members of the Italian, Greek,
•• Despite improvements, attitudes that condone,
Chinese, Vietnamese and Indian communities
justify or excuse violence against women persist.
(known as the ‘selected culturally and linguistically
•• That some progress has been made:
diverse’ or ‘SCALD’).
–– The vast majority of the community agrees that
•• Face-to-face interviews with 400 Indigenous Aust-
physical and sexual assault, and threats, are
ralians conducted in nine metropolitan and regional
domestic violence (between 97% and 98%
locations across Australia.
compared with between 91% and 97% in 1995).
The results were compared with an equivalent –– The community is more likely in 2009 to recognise
national survey conducted in 1995 (Office of the Status the spectrum of domestic violence behaviours as
of Women 1995, Community Attitudes to Violence Against ‘very serious’ than they were in 1995.
Women: detailed report, Department of the Prime –– 98% of people today say that domestic violence
is a crime, compared with 93% in 1995.
–– 93% of people agree that forced sex in an intimate
Violence against women and their children relationship is a crime.
was estimated to cost the Australian –– Very few people believe that ‘women who are
economy $13.6 billion in 2008-09. raped ask for it’ – one in twenty people believe
this in 2009 compared with one in seven people

10 Domestic and Family Violence Issues in Society | Volume 365

 in 1995.
–– The majority of the community (85%) disagrees Women with disabilities are particularly
that violence and harassment against women vulnerable to intimate partner violence,
should be dealt with privately. especially where the abuser is also a carer
–– Eight in ten people agree they would intervene
and can exercise control over access to
in some way in a situation of domestic violence.
•• That there are still challenges ahead:
medication, or restrict mobility and access
–– Fewer people in 2009 believe that slapping and
to external supports.
pushing a partner to cause harm or fear is a ‘very
serious’ form of violence than in 1995 (from 64% only if a person believes it is likely to be carried out.
in 1995 to 53% in 2009). Sexual assault includes acts of a sexual nature carried
–– 22% of people in 2009 believe that domestic out against a person’s will through the use of physical
violence is perpetrated equally by both men and force, intimidation or coercion, or any attempts to do
women compared with 9% in 1995. this. Unwanted sexual touching is excluded from sexual
–– 34% believe that ‘rape results from men being assault. Sexual threat involves the threat of an act of a
unable to control their need for sex’. sexual nature which the person believes is likely to be
–– One in four people (26%) disagrees that ‘women carried out.’
rarely make false claims of being raped’.
–– 13% of people still agree that women ‘often say no The survey found that since the age of 15:
when they mean yes’ and roughly one in six (16%) •• 2,243,600 women experienced physical assault
agrees that a woman ‘is partly responsible if she •• 1,293,100 women experienced sexual assault
is raped when drunk or drug affected’. •• 2,499,100 women experienced inappropriate
–– One in five people (22%) believes that domestic comments about their body or sex life
violence can be excused if later the perpetrator •• 1,931,100 women experienced unwanted sexual
regrets what they have done. touching.
–– Eight in ten people in the general community
say it is hard to understand why women stay in The survey also found that young women experience
violent relationships and more than half believe sexual assault at higher rates than older women. Of all
a woman could leave a violent relationship if women who reported experiencing sexual violence in
she really wanted to. the year previous to the study 28.2% were aged between
18-24, 29.2% were aged 25-34, 25.4% were aged 35-44 and
South Australian statistics 17.2% were aged 45 and over.
Data sourced from the Office for Crime Statistics
and Research (OCSAR) in the Attorney-General’s National Aboriginal and Torres Strait
Department shows that: Islander Social Survey (NATSISS) (2002)6
•• Between July 2001 and June 2009 there were 45 The Australian Bureau of Statistics conducted the
domestic violence-related homicides reported in 2002 National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
South Australia, of which 39 involved female victims Social Survey (NATSISS) between August 2002 and
and six involved male victims. April 2003. The survey provides information about
the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander populations
Australian statistics of Australia for a wide range of areas of social concern
•• Violence against women and their children was including health, education, culture and labour force
estimated to cost the Australian economy $13.6 participation.
billion in 2008-09. Without appropriate action to
address this issue, an estimated three-quarters of a The 2002 survey found that:
million Australian women will experience and report •• One-quarter of indigenous people in 2002 reported
violence in the period of 2021-22, costing the that they had been a victim of physical or threatened
Australian economy an estimated $15.6 billion.3 violence in the previous 12 months.

Personal Safety Survey (PSS) (2005)5 International Violence Against

On August 10 2006 the Australian Bureau of Statistics Women Survey: Australian
released the results of the first national Personal Safety Component (IVAWS) (2004)7
Survey (PSS) presenting information about women’s and A total of 6,677 women aged between 18 and 69
men’s experiences of violence. years participated in the telephone survey between
The PSS defines violence as ‘any incident involving December 2002 and June 2003, and provided
the occurrence, attempt or threat of either physical information about their experiences of both physical
or sexual assault. Physical assault involves the use of and sexual violence.
physical force with the intent to harm or frighten. An The IVAWS defines physical violence to ‘include
attempt or threat to inflict physical harm is included both physical assaults, which refer to the use of physical

Issues in Society | Volume 365 Domestic and Family Violence 11

 force with the intent to harm or frighten a woman, and REFERENCES
physical attempts or threats, which refers to the verbal, 1. Australian Institute of Criminology, The Social Research Centre
and/or physical intent to inflict harm which the woman and VicHealth (2009), National Survey on Community attitudes
believed was able and likely to be carried out.’ to Violence Against Women, Melbourne, VicHealth.
Sexual violence includes ‘any form of non-consensual 2. Australian Institute of Criminology, The Social Research Centre
or forced sexual activity or touching including rape. It and VicHealth (2009), National Survey on Community attitudes
to Violence Against Women, Melbourne, VicHealth.
is carried out against the woman’s will using physical
3. KPMG (2009), The Cost of Violence Against Women and their
or threatened force, intimidation or coercion. Includes Children, Safety Taskforce, Department of Families, Housing,
sexual touching.’ Community Services and Indigenous Affairs, Australian Govern-
ment (quoted in The National Plan to Reduce Violence against
The survey found that: Women: Immediate Government Actions April 2009, p.2.
•• Compared to the non-indigenous women in the 4. Australian Bureau of Statistics (2005), Personal Safety Survey,
sample, this group of indigenous women reported ABS cat. no. 4906.0, Canberra, Commonwealth of Australia.
higher levels of physical, sexual and any violence 5. Australian Bureau of Statistics (2002), National Aboriginal and
during the 12 months preceding the IVAWS. Torres Strait Islander Social Survey 2002, ABS cat. no. 4714.0,
Canberra, Commonwealth of Australia, p.13.
–– During this period, about seven per cent of
6. Australian Institute of Criminology (2003), International
non-indigenous women reported experiencing Violence Against Women Survey 2002/03, Canberra, J Mouzos
physical violence (4% RSE), compared to 20 per and T Makkai, pp.29-31.
cent of indigenous women (21% RSE). 7. VicHealth (2004), The Health Costs of Violence: Measuring
–– Three times as many indigenous women reported the Burden of Disease caused by Intimate Partner Violence,
experiencing an incident of sexual violence, Victorian Health Promotion Foundation, Melbourne, p.8.
compared to non-indigenous women (12%; 28% 8. Goodfellow, J and Camilleri, M (2003), Beyond belief, beyond
RSE versus 4%; 6% RSE). justice: the difficulties for victims/survivors with disabilities
when reporting sexual assault and seeking justice, Disability
Discrimination Legal Service, Melbourne (quoted in National
Interstate statistics
Survey on Community Attitudes to Violence Against Women
•• Intimate partner violence is responsible for more 2009, Victoria, p.32.
ill-health and premature death in Victorian women 9. Mulder 1995, cited in Domestic violence: Working with men:
under the age of 45 than any other of the well-known phase 1 meta-evaluation report, Strategic Partners Pty Ltd,
risk factors, including high blood pressure, obesity 2003. – Barton, ACT: Office of the Status of Women.
and smoking.8 10. Brownridge, D 2006, ‘Partner violence against women with
•• Women with physical and cognitive disabilities disabilities: prevalence, risk, and explanations’, Violence Against
experience higher rates of intimate partner violence Women, vol. 12, no. 9, pp.805-22 (quoted in National Survey
than those without disabilities, and those with on Community Attitudes to Violence Against Women 2009,
Victoria, p.13.
cognitive disabilities are particularly vulnerable.9

International statistics Attorney-General’s Department (2009). Information for the media.

Retrieved from www.dontcrosstheline.com.au on 22 April 2013.
•• Overseas studies have found that women with
disabilities, regardless of age, race, ethnicity, sexual
orientation or class are assaulted, raped and abused
at a rate of between two and twelve times greater
than women without disabilities.10
•• Women with disabilities are particularly vulnerable
to intimate partner violence, especially where the
abuser is also a carer and can exercise control over
access to medication, or restrict mobility and access
to external supports.11

FURTHER INFORMATION IS AVAILABLE AT:

•• National Plan to Reduce Violence against
Women – Time for Action
•• The Cost of Violence Against Women and their
Children
•• National Survey on Community Attitudes to
Violence Against Women
•• Women’s Safety Survey
•• Personal Safety Survey
•• Sexual Assault in Australia: A Statistical Overview
•• Department of Social Services – Research and Data
•• White Ribbon Australia

12 Domestic and Family Violence Issues in Society | Volume 365

RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE
WOMEN’S AND CHILDREN’S HEALTH NETWORK EXPLORES THE ISSUES INVOLVED
Sometimes in relationships dominance or control or
jealousy can be mistaken for love. This topic from the
Women’s and Children’s Health Network is about hurt,
power, control and feeling bad in a relationship. It is
written for people who are on the receiving end of
violence. It will bust myths about relationships and look
at how to keep as safe as possible.

I
n heterosexual relationships, women are more often
hurt by men, however, relationship violence also
happens in gay and lesbian relationships or is done
by women to men. If you are hurting other people, have
a look at the Violence topic at www.cyh.com.au
In several sections below ‘he’ is used to identify the
person who is violent. This may not be your situation
and we apologise if that is the case, but we do that to
make the points simpler to write.

Warning!
If you need emergency assistance, call the police
immediately (000 in Australia).
There is information in languages other than English
on the site of the Migrant Women’s Support Service,
www.migrantwomensservices.com.au/resources.wt1

RELATIONSHIP CHECKLIST cycle (see the Cycle of violence on page 14) going on and
You may find some of these sound familiar. on and on and on, each time getting harder and harder
•• Do you do things to avoid your partner getting angry and harder for you to leave!
because you are nervous about what might happen?
•• Have you been told, “you drive me to hurt you” and WHAT VIOLENCE IS
“you should change” for the abuse to stop? Violence or abuse is when someone uses power or
•• Does your partner say you are useless, stupid and control or anger to make someone else feel hurt, scared
wrong? or humiliated. In a relationship there can be a pattern
•• Is your partner always checking every detail of what of this behaviour that is used to get someone to do
you do or feel? what another person wants. Control or manipulation
•• Have you been made to think you are not good or jealous or possessive behaviour can be confused with
enough? love. Love is not any of these things.
•• Has your partner embarrassed you and your friends Abuse, violence or control can happen in diff-
so your friends don’t hang around any more? erent ways:
•• Does your partner threaten suicide or say “I can’t go
on without you”? Physical abuse
•• Has your partner yelled at you, punched holes in the Physical acts that hurt or scare you are abuse, whether
wall, lost it or hit you? they cause injury that you can see or not.
•• Have you been accused of being with others? •• This can be things like holding, shoving, pushing,
•• Are you told that it’s because of “the drugs or alcohol”, restraining, torturing, driving a car dangerously to
“my terrible childhood” or because “I can’t control scare you, punching, biting, threatening, kicking,
my temper”? burning, throwing or smashing personal objects,
punching holes in walls or doors, hurting or killing
A healthy relationship needs more than love. It lets pets, breaking things or using a weapon.
you feel loved, respected and able to be yourself. You •• Harming or threatening to hurt someone is a criminal
may see some of the warning signs, but still think “it’s offence.
not that bad”. Feeling scared, embarrassed or pressured
does not let you feel OK about being yourself. Emotional or verbal abuse
Noticing the warning signs early and protecting Using threats or put-downs to get what they want, or
yourself (maybe leaving the relationship) can prevent the to make you feel bad about yourself is emotional abuse.

Issues in Society | Volume 365 Domestic and Family Violence 13

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