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Guilt
 Guilt
The Bite of Conscience
Herant Katchadourian

STANFORD GENERAL BOOKS

An Imprint of Stanford University Press
Stanford, California
Stanford University Press
Stanford, California
©2010 by the Board of Trustees of the Leland Stanford Junior University.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or in any information
storage or retrieval system without the prior written permission of Stanford University Press.
Printed in the United States of America on acid-free, archival-quality paper
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Katchadourian, Herant A.
Guilt : the bite of conscience / Herant Katchadourian.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-8047-6361-5 (cloth : alk. paper)
1. Guilt. 2. Guilt—Religious aspects. I. Title.
BF575.G8K38 2009
152.4'4—dc22
2008053323
Typeset by Bruce Lundquist in 10/14 Minion
For Stina
 Contents

Preface ix
Acknowledgments xvii

1 Guilt and Its Neighbors 1

2 Commandments and Sins 28
3 Guilt and Relationships 62
4 Guilt without Transgression 88
5 The Pathology of Guilt 112
6 The Development of Moral Judgment 139
7 The Evolution of Guilt 167
8 Guilt in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam 192
9 Guilt in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Confucianism 227
10 Guilt in the Light of Reason 256
11 Guilt in the Courtroom 285
Epilogue 307

Notes 315
Index 355
 Preface

“for i can tell you,” wrote Cervantes in the introduction to Don Quixote,
“that although it cost me some effort to compose [this book], none seemed
greater than creating the preface you are now reading. I picked up my pen
many times to write it, and many times I put it down again because I did not
know what to write.”1
Many an author has shared Cervantes’s experience, as I do now. Why
should writing an introduction be so hard?
To begin with, there is a general feeling, be it true or not, that people do not
read introductions. Like the prefatory remarks to a speech or mail addressed
to Resident, they seem generic, and hence of no personal interest. For the au-
thor, another problem is deciding what to say. Would revealing the highlights
of the book whet the reader’s appetite or dull it like a lump of sugar before a
meal? In order to entice the reader, should one give away the goods before they
are carefully unwrapped?
Much depends on what the material sets out to do. To be properly called an
“introduction” it should delve into the subject matter itself, like a short chap-
ter. A preface, on the other hand, is an introduction to the book; it tells the
reader what to expect. What I have here is a preface aimed at three objectives:
to tell the reader why I have written the book; to propose reasons for reading
it; and to provide a road map to the contents.
My reasons for writing this book are similar to those that led me to teach
an undergraduate seminar on guilt and shame at Stanford University for a de-
cade. I told my students that I had two main interests in teaching the course:
one was professional, the other personal. With respect to the first, most of the
ix
x Preface

courses I had taught over four decades were very large classes (enrolling over
twenty thousand students). Now I wanted to teach a small seminar that would
allow me to know my students better. Moreover, my courses approached their
topics from a multidisciplinary perspective. I was a professor of psychiatry
with wider intellectual interests and I considered a multidisciplinary ap-
proach to be the best way to learn about human behavior. The topic of guilt
and shame fit that mold very well.
As for personal reasons, when I was at the age of my students, I felt unduly
burdened with feelings of guilt. There were no good reasons for it; as young
men go, I had no more reason to feel guilty than my peers. I was like a man
who was paying income tax on money he was not making. When I asked my
students to write down their reasons for taking my course, their answers more
or less replicated my own concerns. About half said they had an academic
interest in the subject—they were majoring in psychology or were intellectu-
ally intrigued by the topic. Others had personal issues with guilt because they
were Jewish/Catholic/evangelical Christians or belonged to some other group
presumed to be guilt prone, or they had parents who made them feel guilty, or
felt guilty and did not know why.
I expect similar considerations to apply to many readers of this book. If you
have an intellectual interest in the subject of guilt, you will find this book to be
a rich source of material. No other book I know of covers as many facets of guilt.
This is a bold claim but I make it for good reasons: I searched in vain for such a
book to use in my course. It took half a dozen specialists, in addition to me, with
my own areas of competence in psychiatry and the behavioral sciences, to teach
the course. Their topics, also represented in this book, range over evolutionary
psychology and anthropology, six major religious traditions (Judaism, Chris-
tianity, Islam, Hindu­ism, Buddhism, and Confucianism), moral philosophers
(Aristotle, Kant, John Stuart Mill, Nietzsche), and legal conceptions of guilt.
A great deal has been written about guilt (and shame) from various aca-
demic perspectives. Modern knowledge is organized into specialized disci-
plines. That is necessary if our knowledge is to expand, but it results in books
with a lot of depth in one particular aspect of guilt but not much else about
what is outside it.
The primary intellectual merit of this book is in bringing together vari-
ous disciplinary viewpoints in one volume. I wish I could claim that I have
achieved an integrated synthesis of all these views, but I cannot. The differences
in methodology, language, conceptions, and assumptions of various specialists
 Preface xi

that would make the denizens of the Tower of Babel proud, preclude that. Con-
sequently, what you find here is not a real dialogue but “parallel monologues”
(as an academic friend called it). However, these disparate voices are at least
now speaking in the same room, even if not to each other. I hope hearing these
different views may convince you that the best way to understand a topic such
as guilt is to look at it from diverse points of view. Similar sentiments are ex-
pressed by William Miller in the preface to his fascinating book on disgust:

I see this book as an homage to a time when, in a strange way, psychology was
less constricted than it is now. In that time it was about virtues and vices, nar-
ratives both fictional and historical, about how one stood with others as much
as how one stood with oneself. The psychological was not yet divorced from
either the moral or the social. The book is thus methodologically promiscu-
ous as a methodological commitment, drawing from history, literature, moral
philosophy, and psychology.2

Moreover, readers who have a professional interest in one or another of the

fields represented here may also find the book useful. They are not likely to
find much that they do not know within their own fields but a good deal that
is new to them in a half dozen fields outside their own.
This book, however, is neither a textbook nor a research monograph. It is
academically sound but intended for a general and a broader than purely aca-
demic audience. Within these pages, you will hear not only the voices of ex-
perts and literary figures, but also those of ordinary people relating the expe-
riences of guilt in their everyday lives. Each chapter opens with a case history
based on a personal account or a work of literature. Within each chapter there
are shorter accounts and examples that illustrate the issues being discussed.
The matter of a more personal interest in guilt is harder to address. Like
my students and myself, many readers, I expect, may have faced concerns
over guilt, or to be struggling with them now. If you are one of these people,
what can you expect by way of help from this book? As I said above, this is
an academically sound but non-academic book; similarly, this not a self-help
book but nonetheless it tries earnestly to be helpful. Reading this book should
help you understand not only what guilt is and is not, and what it should and
should not be in general terms, but also within your own life experiences.
Knowing about guilt will provide you with greater insight into who you are as
well as equip you to exercise greater control over your own life and actions. It
will help you understand how guilt works as a currency of exchange in your
xii Preface

relationships with others, particularly with those close to you. It will help you
protect yourself when someone uses guilt to manipulate you.
It is particularly important for you to know when guilt is excessive, as well as
inadequate, in your life. Its excess will suck the joy out of your life, while its de-
ficiency will ruin your relationships and pit you against society. When you clash
with the expectations of your social group, you will ultimately lose. This book
may help you to avoid both pitfalls. It is also my hope that reading this book will
provide you with greater insight into religious and philosophical views on guilt,
and by extension, into your own moral sentiments and ethical convictions.3
At the outset, I was reluctant to provide advice to readers on how to deal
with guilt. Unsolicited advice is intrusive and ineffective since it does not re-
spond to an expressed need. Moreover, advice has to be compatible with a
person’s moral values and psychological concerns. Generic advice is like junk
mail. To be useful, you have to customize it—one size does not fit all. To that
end, there is a section at the end of each chapter on the issue of dealing with
guilt from the particular vantage point of that chapter.
There are, however, limits to how helpful a book can be in dealing with
deep moral dilemmas. A friend of mine who was keen on reading a draft copy
of this book turned out to have a personal agenda. He was in a relationship
that troubled his conscience. What he was really looking for was a way out of
his dilemma—a vindication of sorts. It is no wonder that he was disappointed
by what he read since he did not find specific answers to his problem. Such
specific answers may require counseling or therapy that goes beyond the read-
ing of books.
Looking at guilt in broader cultural terms, how relevant or important is it in
our modern world? In the Victorian period, moral zealots clobbered people with
guilt. Consider the lament of a divorced Catholic woman involved in a surrepti-
tious affair with a Protestant man in Evelyn Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited:

Living in sin with sin, by sin, for sin, every hour, every day, year in, year out.
Waking up with sin in the morning, seeing the curtains drawn on sin, bathing
in it, dressing it, clipping diamonds to it, feeding it, showing it around, giving
it a good time, putting it to sleep at night with a tablet of Dial [a barbiturate]
if it’s fretful.4

Does anyone lose sleep anymore over this sort of thing? It seems that many
people are now more likely to nurse a sense of entitlement rather than guilt.5
They are more concerned with what others owe them than with taking respon-
 Preface xiii

sibility for what they owe to others. Even the very basis of traditional moral
judgments, hence the need to feel guilty, seems under assault. Consider, for
instance a recent book entitled In Defense of Sin whose contributors purport
to provide a defense for: idolatry, blasphemy, dismissing mother and father,
murder, adultery, deceit, greed, breaking the Golden Rule, refusing to forgive,
pride, gossip, lust, promiscuity, prostitution, despair, and suicide. Yet, despite
the provocative (and rather misleading) title and chapter headings, the book
is not a wholesale rejection of traditional morality but a critique of its excesses
and irrationalities. We have, of course, heard all this before and no one has
said it better than Nietzsche did a hundred years ago. Consequently, guilt is
alive and well, and very much with us.
To state it at the outset, the basic thesis of this book is as follows: The
capacity for guilt is innate—we are born with it hard-wired into our brain
through evolution. Guilt serves a variety of functions in connection with so-
cial control, hence its experiences are subject to cultural variation. Like other
emotions, guilt is neutral in itself, neither good nor bad as such. It becomes
pathological when it is excessive or deficient. Guilt is an integral part of moral
reasoning and closely tied with the monotheistic religions, and to a lesser ex-
tent with Asian religions. It is an important part of philosophical discourse on
morality and a key concept of legal systems. We shall deal with each of these
issues in subsequent chapters.
You already may have some sense of what this book is about, but a road
map to its contents will provide a more concrete idea of what to expect. The
table of contents does not make it explicit, but there are two main parts to this
book. The first (Chapters 1 to 6) deals with our individual experiences of guilt,
primarily from a psychological perspective. The second part (Chapters 7 to 11)
addresses guilt in a broader societal context by looking at guilt through the
lenses of evolutionary psychology, anthropology, religion, philosophy, and the
law. The first part provides a micro-, the second a macro-perspective.
Chapter 1 lays the groundwork by mapping out the geography of guilt and
its neighbors—regret, embarrassment, shame, and disgust. Chapter 2 looks
at the behaviors that have been typically associated with guilt. It relies on the
Ten Commandments and the seven Cardinal Sins to provide a framework
for guilt-inducing behaviors. The Ten Commandments (the heart of Judeo-
Christian ethics) focus on specific behaviors; the Cardinal Sins (a legacy of
the Christian Middle Ages) go to the heart of human motivation by pointing
to those proclivities that lead to guilt-inducing behaviors.
xiv Preface

Chapter 3 probably comes closest to what most readers expect to find in a

book of this sort. It addresses the crucial question of how guilt works in our
personal and intimate relationships. Chapter 4 is unusual in that it deals with
several types of guilt that do not entail personal wrongdoing: survivor guilt,
collective guilt, and existential guilt. Chapter 5 tackles the difficult problem of
pathological guilt: the difference between guilt that is healthy and helps regu-
late our moral behavior, and guilt that becomes pathological through excess
or deficiency.
Chapters 6 and 7 address how the capacity for moral judgment (hence the
prospect of feeling guilty) develops. Chapter 6 examines this process within
the lifetime of individuals; Chapter 7 looks at it at the level of the human spe-
cies. By addressing the role of the evolution of guilt, Chapter 7 acts as a bridge
between the individual and the societal perspectives that divide the book.
Chapters 8 and 9 look at the vast ancient traditions of guilt in six major
religions of the world: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam in the West; Hindu-
ism, Buddhism, and Confucianism in the East. These are perhaps the most
challenging chapters (they were certainly the hardest to write), but they are
crucial to our understanding of guilt—whether we are religious or not. More
than any other approach, religions have shaped the moral consciousness of
most people, and they still do. Hence it is important for us to be familiar with
them, whether we adhere to their teachings or not.
Chapter 10 is the secular counterpart of the chapters on religion. It pres-
ents three key philosophical approaches to guilt: Aristotle’s ethics of virtue,
Kant’s ethics of duty, and John Stuart Mill’s ethics of utility. It also presents
Nietzsche’s scathing critique of Western morality. Finally, Chapter 11 again
shifts the ground from what is elective in our experience of guilt to what is
obligatory in legal terms. We may choose to accept or reject all of the other
approaches to guilt, but we have no choice about being under the rule of law.
Hence the need to know how the law determines legal culpability.
A distinguished philosopher and friend told me that if this was going to
be a book on guilt, then guilt should be on stage at all times. Should other
characters make an appearance, they too should be speaking about guilt.6 I
have tried but may not have succeeded in heeding this excellent advice con-
sistently, and I ask for the reader’s indulgence when I occasionally digress. I
have also made an earnest effort to keep my own opinions and prejudices out
of this book, so far as humanly possible, relegating such personal comments
to the Epilogue.
 Preface xv

Writing this book has been an enormously challenging and enriching ex-
perience for me. I have learned from it more than I have from any comparable
effort. Moreover, this has been more than a purely intellectual exercise; it has
changed the way I feel and behave. I hope that similar benefits will be passed
on to readers of the book as well.
Finally, you can of course read this book any way you wish, but my sug-
gestion is that you read the chapters in sequence. It may be tempting to go di-
rectly to what may look more interesting to you. That is fine, if it will help you
get what you are looking for. However, it may mean losing sight of the logic
that underlies the organization of the book. Therefore, if you think a chapter
may not interest you, at least skim over it. Keep in mind that this book is not
an encyclopedia with freestanding entries—the chapters build on each other
and are intended to provide you with a sense of continuity to make sense out
of the whole.
 Acknowledgments

the idea of this book originated from a multidisciplinary seminar on guilt

and shame that I taught at Stanford University for about a decade. A number
of colleagues served as guest lecturers on topics that fell outside my areas of
competence. I owe them a world of thanks for introducing me to the perspec-
tives on guilt of their respective disciplines. Their ideas are reflected through-
out this book. These colleagues are cited at the beginning of the appropriate
chapters.
Some of these colleagues, along with others at Stanford or other institu-
tions, also provided invaluable help with the preparation of this book. Sanford
Gifford, Ernlé Young, Nancy McGaraghan, and Dan Bernstein read the entire
manuscript and offered thoughtful comments and most helpful suggestions
with respect to their areas of expertise and interest, and as general readers.
Others critiqued specific chapters from their particular disciplinary per-
spectives: Anne Fernald, Cendri Hutcherson, and Mark Gross (psychology);
John Racy (psychiatry); David Hamburg and Ulla Morris Carter (collective
guilt); Esther Hewlett (philanthropy); Robert Sapolsky (evolution); Arnold
Eisen and Estelle Halevi (Judaism); Mark Mancall (who provided extensive
help on Judaism, Hinduism, and Buddhism); Robert Gregg (monotheism;
particularly extensive help with Christianity); Scotty McLennan (mono-
theism and Asian religions); Ebrahim Moosa, Shahzad Bashir, and Hank
Edson (Islam); Raka Ray, Shireen Pasha, Smita Singh, and Zulfiqar Ahmad
(Hinduism); Mark Berkson (Buddhism, and particularly Confucianism); Lee
Yearley, Sheila Melvin, Jindong Cai, and Rachel Zhu (Confucianism); Robert
Audi and ­Lanier Anderson, who reviewed several drafts (philosophy); Robert
xvii
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