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Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page i

Talking is for All

" -VDLZ %VDL #PPL

Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page ii

I dedicate this book to my family, with love.

Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page iii

Talking is for All

How Children and Teenagers Develop
Emotional Literacy

Betty Rudd
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page iv

© Betty Rudd 2008

First published 2008

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study,
or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and
Patents Act, 1988, this publication may be reproduced, stored or
transmitted in any form, or by any means, only with the prior permission
in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction,
in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright
Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms
should be sent to the publishers.

All material on the accompanying CD Rom can be printed off and

photocopied by the purchaser/user of the book. The CD Rom itself may
not be reproduced in its entirety for use by others without prior written
permission from SAGE. The CD Rom may not be distributed or sold
separately from the book without the prior written permission of SAGE.
Should anyone wish to use the materials from the CD Rom for conference
purposes, they would require separate permission from us. All material is
© 2008 All CD Rom is included within this eBook.

SAGE Publications Ltd

1 Oliver’s Yard
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London EC1Y 1SP

SAGE Publications Inc.

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Thousand Oaks, California 91320

SAGE Publications India Pvt Ltd

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Library of Congress Control Number 2008929345

British Library Cataloguing in Publication data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978-1-4129-3534-0 (pbk)

Illustrators: Dee Mills, Elizabeth A. Rennison, Ursula Graham-White

Typeset by C&M Digitals (P) Ltd., Chennai, India

Printed in India at Replika Pvt. Ltd
Printed on paper from sustainable resources
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page v

Contents

CD Contents vi
Acknowledgement ix
Preface x
About the author xii

Introduction and structural overview 1

Emotional literacy overview 3
How to use the resources 17

Part One Talking is for Kids: Emotional literacy for 19

4–7 year olds
Introduction 20
Record keeping and assessment 21
Stories and activities 24
Plans for using the worksheets 30
Worksheets 38

Part Two Talking is for Us: Emotional literacy for 63

8–12 year olds
Introduction 64
Record keeping and assessment 65
Stories and activities 68
Plans for using the worksheets 78
Worksheets 84

Part Three Talking is for Teens: Emotional literacy for 111

13–19 year olds
Introduction 112
Record keeping and assessment 114
Stories and activities 116
Plans for using the worksheets 138
Worksheets 139

References 179
List of useful resources 183
Subject index 184
Resources index 186
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page vi

CD Contents

Introduction
Assessment form
My record

Stories
Story 1 Jerry goes shopping
Story 2 Monique and her kitten
Story 3 Clever Thomas
Story 4 Peter in the playground
Story 5 Isabella had a friend

Plans for worksheets

Plans for using worksheets 1 to 18
Plan for using worksheet 4 Talking isn’t medicine
Plan for using worksheet 6 You can feel bad if …
Plan for using worksheet 8 You can feel bad because …
Plan for using worksheet 9 You feeling good
Plan for using worksheet 10 Five ways to feel good
Plan for using worksheet 11 Healthy mind and body
Plan for using worksheet 12 Grow strong and healthy
Plan for using worksheet 13 Play with friends
Plan for using worksheet 14 Grow and heal
Plan for using worksheet 15 Be happy
Plan for using worksheet 16 Your feelings
Plan for using worksheet 17 Balance your life
Plan for using worksheet 18 Be kind to yourself
Plan for using worksheet 23 Feel secure in setting
Plan for using worksheet 24 Gain sense of self-worth

Introduction
Assessment form
My record

Stories
Story 1 Cecil and the little creature
Story 2 Yoko and the bully
Story 3 The twin
Story 4 Pollyanna’s ninth birthday
Story 5 The school hamster
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page vii

Plans for worksheets

Plan for using worksheet 3 Favourite pet
Plan for using worksheet 6 Let’s talk
Plan for using worksheet 8 Recognise feelings
Plan for using worksheet 9 The present
Plan for using worksheet 10 Liking and smiling
Plans for using worksheets A to R Belinda gets help
Plan for using worksheet S

Worksheets
Worksheet 1 Record of assessment
Worksheet 2 Achievement
Worksheet 3 Favourite pet
Worksheet 4 Let’s talk
Worksheet 5 Recognise feelings
Worksheet 6 The present
Worksheet 7 Liking and smiling
Worksheets A-S

Introduction
Assessment form

Stories
Story 1 Smoking
Story 2 Drug abuse
Story 3 Pregnancy
Story 4 Dropping out
Story 5 Violence
Story 6 Disease
Story 7 Impulse control
Story 8 Managing anger
Story 9 A solution to a predicament
Story 10 Sadness
Story 11 Jealousy
Story 12 Pride
Story 13 Guilt
Story 14 Anxiety
Story 15 Alcohol

Plans for using the worksheets

Worksheet 1 Creativity
Worksheet 2 Responsibility
Worksheet 3 Sad
Worksheet 4 Controlling yourself
Worksheet 5 Self-control
Worksheet 6 Problem solving
Worksheet 7 Teen + 10 years

vii
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/10/2008 10:09 AM Page viii

Worksheet 8 Positive response to a negative comment

Worksheet 9 My contact
Worksheet 10 My life story
Worksheet 11 Impulse control
Worksheet 12 Managing anger
Worksheet 13 Choices
Worksheet 14 Positive
Worksheet 15 Lonely
Worksheet 16 Matching emotions
Worksheet 17 Self-booster
Worksheet 18 Affirmations
Worksheet 19 Self-concept
Worksheet 20 Understand and manage emotions
Worksheet 21 Communication
Worksheet 22 Compliments
Worksheet 23 Co-operation

Activities relating to Zak’s story

Section 1–10 activities

viii
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page ix

Acknowledgements

I am grateful to my parents who taught me love and forgiveness.

My children, I thank you for being you, your forgiveness of my mistakes and
for all you teach me, whether wittingly or unwittingly.

Thank you my sister Mary for your encouragement about my aspirations and
for being there for me.

Special thanks go to the pupils and students of the schools and colleges in
Sussex, and to my young clients, who were involved in the suggestions I
thought of; irrespective of whether these are included or excluded within this
publication.

Thank you Sage for wanting me to write this second edition of the Talking is …
series.

Particular thanks go to Barbara Maines and George Robinson who unfailingly

supported me in conducting the whole ‘Talking is …’ project; thank you so
much for your feedback George, which as you will see, I have taken on board!

I also thank the artists who managed to flesh out my match-stick drawings,
into the illustrations printed in Talking is for All.

Chartered Counselling Psychologist Joan Moore, thanks for your supervision

for over the last decade, which continues.

Thank you Pro Vice Chancellor Professor Mary Watts, you enabled me to realise
the value of focussing on and finishing one project at a time.

Heartfelt thanks to my husband Steve, without whom my life would not be so

rich and enhanced in the love I nestle in which enables me to write.

ix
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/10/2008 10:09 AM Page x

Preface

This book is intended to make the learning and use of emotional literacy easy and
enjoyable for children and teenagers. My main aims are to define emotional
literacy and offer relevant hands-on activities that I have found and still find
useful in my work with young individuals, while bearing in mind findings from
relevant investigations. By developing youngsters’ emotional literacy their
emotional intelligence is raised, thus increasing their emotional quotient. The
terms ‘emotional literacy’, ‘emotional intelligence’ and ‘emotional quotient’ (EQ),
are not used interchangeably within this book, since they have different meanings.
Emotional literacy refers to the amount a person has learnt regarding how she or
he deals with her or his emotions. Emotional intelligence refers to the intelligent
use of emotions, that is, emotional acumen. EQ refers to the amount of emotional
intelligence within an individual.

Facilitating good mental health is very rewarding yet it can become an arduous
task. It behoves each of us involved in supporting youngsters, to work out
practices and principles enabling them to flourish in a healthier way. I hope
that Talking is for All goes some way towards furthering that enabling process.
It explains the reasons for aiding emotional literacy but does not solve every
problem that a child or teenager faces. Rather, it provides guidelines to use as
a yardstick for each young person, and a way of solving problems with regard
to emotional literacy.

Although robust psychological health is linked to high emotional literacy,

research is meagre on this point. Unfortunately, most of the research seems
unsophisticated in its methods. However, an exemplary piece of good enough
research was undertaken by Noeker and Petermann (1998). They investigated
young people up to the age of 18 years. The outcome of this research showed
that negative emotions were precipitating factors to ill physical health. ‘The
three emotions with the highest loadings were disappointment – loneliness –
fear’ (p.27). Indeed, they found that these three factors increased the likelihood
of asthma; while strong support from father and mother was most relevant in
a decreased likelihood of asthma. It is important to respond to findings such as
these. Talking is for All is a response. However, more interventions need to be
developed and I hope that this publication inspires further research from
which evidence based interventions can be created.

My continuing interest in prevention spans over 30 years. It started with one

of my earlier jobs in London’s deprived inner city area, when I saw what a
potently powerful and positive impact projects such as a Truancy School
(where youngsters were only allowed to attend if they truanted over 90% from

x
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page xi

the school they were usually expected to attend), in which emotional literacy
was propagated, had on youngsters with challenging behaviour.

I have witnessed hundreds and possibly thousands of individuals ‘heal’ and grow
more robust as they engaged themselves with activities facilitating emotional
wellness. I have witnessed feelings of emptiness and longing be replaced by ones
of love and belonging, emotional hardship faced courageously and destructive
energies turn into creative behaviours. Being involved with children and
teenagers is exciting!

Anyone working with youngsters owes it to them, to work as well as they can,
bearing in mind the budget and other available resources. This book contains
much material, in terms of text and illustrations, to help smooth the path of
the facilitator who is enabling emotional literacy in young people. It is aimed
at teachers, psychologists and other related professionals. Developing
emotional literacy can facilitate not only young people’s good mental health
but also their physical well-being, since the two are inextricably enmeshed.
Talking is for All explains the theory behind emotional literacy, brings research
findings together into one volume and offers tools for inexperienced and
experienced facilitators to make emotional literacy an attainable goal.

Betty Rudd

xi
Rudd-3698-Prelims:Rudd-Prelims.qxp 7/4/2008 12:30 PM Page xii

About the author

Dr Betty Rudd, mother of four, is married and

lives in Sussex. She qualified as a Specialist
Teacher in the 1970s and as a Chartered
Counselling Psychologist in the 1990s. Betty has
over thirty years teaching experience ranging
from pre-school children to adults. Originally
trained as an actress at the Guildhall School of
Music and Drama in the 1960s, she gained her
PhD for her international research in psychology,
from City University in 2000. She was one of the
original members of the group who brought Circle Time from the USA to the UK
and has been actively involved in the field ever since. There are currently seven
books and twenty-one games that she has had published, mostly on emotional
literacy, with others in the pipeline. The British Psychological Society name her
as an expert in emotional literacy and body language, and she is therefore a
frequent spokesperson on these issues. A co-founder of the Barnet Theatre-in-
Education Team in London and the Forest Row Youth Centre in Sussex, a co-
director of Two’s Company Theatre and Hygeia Health Ltd., Betty is listed in
‘Who’s Who in the World’.

xii
Rudd-3698-Introduction:Rudd-3698-Introduction.qxp 7/4/2008 12:25 PM Page 1

Introduction and structural

overview

Welcome to Talking is for All, which is the second edition of the Talking is…
trilogy and is a work in its own right.

Changes and additions in this edition

Updated research citations and the most recent references at the time of writing
are within this second edition. I have expanded the teens’ section to include
teenagers up to 19 years. A new format dealing with research, theory, how to use
the resources and a new section on resilience, substantially improves this
edition when compared to the first one. A section listing useful resources is
included after the references and an index for making navigation within the
book simpler for readers, is added.

Prefaces or Forewords to previous editions are merged and expanded into a single
preface for this one. After the Introduction, there is a section on Emotional
Literacy, bringing together in one volume, research and theory on the topic.
Worksheets show how to put it into practice. Emotional intelligence, which
depends on emotional literacy, is part of seven multiple intelligences, that the
psychologist Dr Howard Gardner (1993) thought of.

1 Linguistic (relating to words and languages)

2 Logical-Mathematical (relating to logic and arithmetic)
3 Musical (relating to sounds and rhythm)
4 Bodily-Kinesthetic (relating to controlling the movement of the body)
5 Spatial-Visual (relating to space and images)
6 Interpersonal (relating to others)
7 Intrapersonal (relating to self).

The term Emotional Intelligence is part of Interpersonal Intelligence which was

expanded on from Howard Gardner’s ‘interpersonal’ concept, by academics
Mayer and Salovey (1993).

Talking is for All’s structure

This edition is divided into three main parts. Firstly, four to seven year olds are
dealt with, secondly, there is a part focusing on eight to twelves, and finally,
the part which relates to the teenage years.

1
Rudd-3698-Introduction:Rudd-3698-Introduction.qxp 7/4/2008 12:25 PM Page 2

Features
Features include age-related stories, and exercises in the form of activities and
worksheets.

Outline
The above features are within the book’s outline of three main sections which
embrace the following nine facets (though not necessarily in the same order).

1 Emotional literacy
2 Why emotional literacy is good
3 Who says what about emotions
4 New research
5 How to use the worksheets
6 Stories, activities and worksheets
7 Plans for using the stories
8 Worksheets
9 Resilience.

There are more interactive ideas in this book than in the three first editions.
Some of these are dramatic – incorporating music, movement, art and drama
as ways to develop emotional literacy across the curriculum. I think this is
exciting. Just as in the first editions, the book is very accessible and easy to use.

CD Rom
The CD Rom contains PDF files of all the resources contained in Parts 1, 2 and 3.
The CD contents are listed on pp.vi-viii of this book.

2
Rudd-3698-Introduction:Rudd-3698-Introduction.qxp 7/4/2008 12:25 PM Page 3

Emotional literacy overview

Emotional literacy is the ebb and flow of emotions linking thoughts and
actions. The more emotionally literate people are, the higher their emotional
intelligence. Emotional intelligence can be raised by teaching the five pillars of
emotional literacy (Goleman, 1996 and Gottman, 1998):

1 Understand emotions in-the-moment. This is basic for self-knowledge and

insight. The reason is that individuals who know their emotions are better
at designing their journey through life, since they have a more certain sense
of themselves, whom they like to be with and how they would like to spend
their time.
2 Deal appropriately with emotions as they arise, such as shaking off
irritability and gloom. This is fundamental for self-care. Individuals who are
inept at managing their emotions, experience more distress, while people
who are adept at it, bounce back quicker from negative stresses.
3 Have self-motivation. This is crucial for controlling emotions and delaying
gratification in order to be attentive, creative and become a highly skilled
person. Those with this ability tend to be more productive and create an
effective impact with regard to anything they do.
4 Recognise emotions that others feel. For altruism and empathy fuelled by
compassion, this is another basic principle. It is the individuals who have
empathy that are the ones more likely to be in-tune with what others want
and need.
5 Cope successfully with relationships. Being able to handle relationships is
crucial because it involves coping with others’ emotions; this is underpinned
by qualities of effectiveness, popularity and leadership. Individuals who cope
well with interpersonal relationships outshine others, than those who do
not, when interacting.

Aspects of emotional literacy

Key aspects of emotional literacy include affect (emotion), behaviour (action)
and cognition (thought) (Mortimer, 1998). Effective programmes include all
these (Grant, 1992):

Affect

• Identify and name emotions

• Express emotions
• Assess level of emotions

3
Rudd-3698-Introduction:Rudd-3698-Introduction.qxp 7/4/2008 12:25 PM Page 4

• Manage emotions
• Delay gratification
• Control impulses
• Reduce stress
• Know that behaviour is not the same as emotion.

Behaviour

• Verbal: such as asking clearly for what one wants, reacting adequately
to being criticised, standing up for oneself, being altruistic, listening
non-judgementally to others and being involved in a positive peer group
• Non-verbal: having the skills to communicate effectively through body-
language, gesturing, facial expression and eye contact.

Cognition

• Talking to oneself as a way of coping

• Being aware of one’s environment and seeing oneself as part of that
environment
• Having the skills to problem-solve such as finding alternative perspectives
and anticipating outcomes
• Understanding others’ viewpoints
• Knowing what behaviour is proper and what is not
• Being positive
• Becoming more aware of oneself.

Empathy, congruence and

unconditional positive regard
The foundation within which an emotional literacy programme must be based
is the communication, from teacher or therapist to youngster, of empathy
(compassion), congruence (honesty) and unconditional positive regard (warm
acceptance). There is cumulative research-based and clinical evidence showing
that these three qualities are necessary for movement in a positive direction
(Rogers, 1951; Rogers, 1961, Kirscherbaum and Henderson, 1989; Howe, 1993,
Bayne et al, 1994 and Goleman, 2004).

Characteristics of emotionally literate individuals

Writers such as Apter (1997), Baker (1997), Goleman (1995), Gottman (1998),
Rudd (1998 and 2001) and Schilling (1999) suggest that, emotionally literate
people (when compared to those who are not) tend to show the following
characteristics

4
Rudd-3698-Introduction:Rudd-3698-Introduction.qxp 7/4/2008 12:25 PM Page 5

• More confident
• Mentally healthier
• Less susceptible to ill health
• Quicker to recover from illness
• Skilled at coping with their emotions
• Able to recognise others’emotions
• Able to respond appropriately to others’ emotions
• Happier
• More successful in relationships
• More successful in their careers
• Able to say ‘No’ to inappropriate situations
• Open to being educated
• Able to handle stress
• Able to resolve conflicts
• Good communicators
• Resilient in their self-esteem
• Aware of the environment
• Supportive of others in distress
• Good at communicating
• Able to understand another’s point of view
• Have leadership qualities.

These qualities are coupled with confidence which shows behaviourally, while
positively impacting on cognitive processes; for example, they think more
clearly and speak up for themselves (Seligman, 2005). They are less likely to
bully or to bully others (Gerhardt, 2004).

Vital role of class teacher

Teachers are in the favourable position of being able to make a special
connection with their pupils, for facilitating emotional literacy, while linking
valid theory with good teaching practice. Although there is an increasing body
of literature supporting the premise that a positive mental attitude improves
physical well-being, what is also needed is an overall and widely available
practical framework, empirically based, which guides teachers in facilitating
the improvement of emotional health in every pupil. A programme of
emotional literacy within the school curriculum can give teachers a tool for
working towards better class management while fostering positive behaviour in
their pupils. (Such a programme is contained in the stories, activities and
worksheets of this volume.)

Teachers may be the first to spot that a youngster is going through change,
perhaps by noticing a behavioural difference. Relevant issues can be addressed
during Circle Time so that youngsters are legitimately supported by others
(Bliss et al, 1995). Fortunately, it is relatively easy for a network of peer support
to be facilitated by teachers for their pupils. For example, each child or teenager

5
Rudd-3698-Introduction:Rudd-3698-Introduction.qxp 7/4/2008 12:25 PM Page 6

could have a pupil who may be the same age or chronologically older, as a
stress-buster-buddy to share emotions and concerns, mainly through talking.
At the heart of such a relationship, it is vital to acknowledge the distress
experienced (which can manifest physically) and give unconditional love
(Batmanghelidijh, 2007).

Emotional and physical are enmeshed

Cumulative evidence shows that mental and physical aspects within people are
entwined (Goleman, 1996; Grant, 1992; Baker, 1998 and Rudd, 2003). People
without a supportive social network, who feel anxious and unhappy, are four
times more likely to die significantly younger than those who have a social
support network, a positive attitude and are emotionally literate (Baker, 1998).
It is therefore considered paramount that teachers foster emotional literacy in
their pupils as soon as they start school, until they leave. The most effective
way of being psychologically healthy, is to be more expressive and aware of
oneself. Being expressive helps with feeling good about oneself. (Baker, 1998;
Gottman, 1998; Seligman, 2005; Gerdhardt, 2007 and Batmanghelidjh, 2007).

Feeling good and being healthy are linked to high self-esteem. If self-esteem is
low, then more time is spent putting other peoples’ wishes first, so there is little
time and energy left to plan for health enhancing activities such as nutritious
eating and an exercise programme. In such circumstances, it is easy to lose
sight of one’s individual needs and undermine one’s health, while self-esteem
plummets. The amount of self awareness one has, the level of compassion
one experiences, the level of self-control, the ability to manage anger, make
decisions and listen, determines ones strength in emotional literacy.

Psychoneuroimmunology
Psychoneuroimmunology: the investigation of the links between the mind, the
immune and nervous systems, is increasingly showing the interactions
between these areas and it is unrealistic to separate the mind from the body
(Chopra, 1993 and Gerhardt, 2007). A short stressor such as giving a speech or
showing a piece of work to classmates may increase immunity, long term stress
such as being bullied or the break up of a relationship, can have a detrimental
effect on health (Baker, 1998). This is because the amount of stress hormones
(for example, cortisol) being released over a long period of time, suppress
the immune system and interfere with the body’s ability to protect against
infection and cancer. The antidote to such stress is relaxation and being happy.

Tears and laughter

Laughter and tears can help prevent illness. This is because tears release stress-
chemicals which have previously accumulated during a stressful time, and laughter
reduces the levels of stress hormones such as cortisol while boosting an immunity

6
Rudd-3698-Introduction:Rudd-3698-Introduction.qxp 7/4/2008 12:25 PM Page 7

antibody called immunoglobin-A (Gottman, 1998; Seligman, 2005 and Gerdhardt,

2007). Those who engage in on-going cultural activities such as going to the
theatre, writing, dancing or visiting art galleries, tend to live longer than people
who rarely do these types of activities (Baker, 1998). It is not difficult to instil a love
for these activities in youngsters if their teachers enjoy them.

The emotional mind

Educational writer, Schilling (1996), explains that the amygdala within the
brain is the centre of the emotional mind and that all information entering
the brain is analysed via the amygdala for emotional value before going to the
cerebral cortex for processing. ‘Data leaving the amygdala carry an emotional
charge, which, if sufficiently powerful, can override reasoned thinking and
logic’ (p. 4). She then describes the work of the neo-cortex.

Brain, logic and emotion

‘The critical networks on which emotion and feeling rely include not only the
limbic system (amygdala), but also the neocortex – specifically the prefrontal
lobe ... This part of the emotional brain is able to control feelings in order to
reappraise situations and deal with them more effectively. It functions like the
control room for planning and organising actions toward a goal. When an
emotion triggers, within moments the prefrontal lobes analyse possible actions
and choose the best alternative’ (p. 5). These activities take place in the brain,
but are not usually within awareness. Although the rational part of one’s mind
makes logical connections, the emotional part of the mind takes its beliefs to
be absolutely true (Gottman, 1998). That is why it may appear futile when
attempting to reason with a person who is emotionally distraught.

Sleep and arousal

The ‘template’ with which humans are born requires language and emotional
instincts. Emotional instincts are so strong that if instinctive emotional
reactions are inhibited daily, the need for emotional expression does not go
away because one is in the cycle of emotional arousal. Griffin’s (2001) research,
as a psychologist, shows that an opportunity is therefore sought to complete
the cycle of emotional arousal by rapid eye movement during the REM sleep
phase.

He offers an explanation that links IQ level with emotion: the more emotionally
aroused one is, the more IQ drops. Griffin explains that the amygdala stores and
possesses the human survival templates as well as storing negative emotions.
The thalamus puts the patterns of emotions together and flashes this
information to the amygdala. Next, the amygdala gives emotional feeling to the
information coming into it and therefore, emotions precede thoughts because
emotion is present before it reaches the neo-cortex. His conclusion is that
emotion triggers thought.

7
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