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 FROM THE AUTHOR OF
BELVEDERE TIBURON LIBRARY
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3 1111 02282 2892

LESSONS
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Printed in USA
^ , „ Cat. #55 137 001
Brodart Co.
 616.891 SAMPLES 2005
Samples, Pat
Body Odyssey lessons from :

the bones and belly^

An insightfu3i
1 ^ 1022822892 BEL -TIB
Richard J. hor oj
The Power of Purpose, Repacking Your Bags, and
Claiming Your Place at the Fire

"Body Odyssey beautifully unveils the creative promise of aging. It's an

important book, worth studying and discussing for its provocative wis-
dom, worth savoring for its dramatic, honest storytelling."

Susan Perlstein, executive director,

National Center Jor Creative Aging and Elders Share the Arts

"I loved it! It made me think about my body in a whole new way. I'll be
buying copies to give to my friends."

Jan Hively, senior advisor, Vital Aging Network

"Body Odyssey brings to life the passion —the — fire of aging in a beautiful
and thought-provoking manner. Samples, in telling the story of her own
'Body Odyssey,' awakened me to the stories carried in my body."
Barbara Ginsberg, Ed.D., My Turn director,
Kingsborough Community College, CUNY

"Pat Samples is an astute, sensitive, and resolutely honest recorder of the

lessons our bodies have to teach us if we will but heed them."

Lawrence Sutin, professor, MFA Writing Program, Hamline University

"Samples spontaneously sings and dances her emotional and spiritual

stories, letting her body take the lead. She shows us ritual turning points,
letting stories of hurt and happiness be revealed as the body is given
freedom of expression to let the dance begin."

Andrea Sherman, Ph.D., project director.

Consortium oj New York Geriatric Education Centers in New York City

"Our bodies can be beautifully expressive at all ages, and Body Odyssey of-

fers stunning close-ups of their wisdom and creativity. Samples magically

captures the language of movement on the page in a most engaging way."

Manfred Fischbeck, artistic director, Group Motion Dance Company

"This writing is engaged and vital, possessing an urgency and passion that
keep me reading. I trust what this voice tells me about how to work and
live in the body and find myself repeatedly attracted to the way of living

described on these pages."

Barrie Jean Borich, author of My Lesbian Husband:

Landscapes of a Marriage, and writing professor

"This is not only a riveting book to read, but one to savor in memory
long after. Even in the midst of her most significant trauma, a kidnapping.
Samples shows unusual grace and ultimate forgiveness."

Margot Fortunato Gait, author of The Story in History: Writing Your Way
into the American Experience, and writing professor

"Pat Samples' stories of courageously facing the challenges of graceful

aging will be an inspiration to many women on the same journey."

Lavinia Plonka, author 0/ What Are You Afraid Of?

"Inspiring, soulful, practical — a 'must-have' for anyone who has a body!

Samples deciphers the meaning of her own bodily discomforts, faces old
demons, and shows us, through her own rich life stories, how to learn
from the body's wisdom. She helps to free us from the dread of aging."

Deborah Antinori, drama therapist and licensed professional counselor

 "^^-.-
.J
Lessons jrom the Bones and Belly
 Other books by Pat Samples

Daily Comjortsfor Caregivers

Selj-Carejor Caregivers: A Twelve Step Approach

(Pat Samples, Diane & Marvin Larsen)

Comfort and Be Comforted: Reflections for Caregivers

With Open Arms (Gene Sylvestre and Pat Samples)

The Twelve Steps and Dual Disorders

(Tim Hamilton and Pat Samples)

The Twelve Steps and Dual Disorders Workbook

(Tim Hamilton and Pat Samples)

Older Adults in Treatment

Older Adults after Treatment

Portions of this book are adapted

from articles that have appeared in

The Phoenix

A View from the Loft

 THE BONES

BELLY

Pa£ Sc

Syren Book Company

bAinnmpolis
 Most Syren Books are available at special quantity discounts for

bulk purchases for sales promotions, premiums, fund-raising,

and educational needs. For details, write

Syren Book Company

Special Sales Department
5 1 20 Cedar Lake Road
Minneapolis, MN 55416
Copyright © 2005 by Pat Samples

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any

manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of the publisher

or the author at www.agingandcaregiving.com.

Published by

Syren Book Company

5 1 20 Cedar Lake Road
Minneapolis, MN 55416
Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper

ISBN-1 3: 978-0-929636-51-1
ISBN-10: 0-929636-51-1

LCCN 2005930341

Cover design by Kyle G. Hunter

Book design by Wendy Holdman

To order additional copies of this book see the form

at the back of this book or go to www.itascabooks.com
Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Preface xi

Part One Don Bury Me Before I Die

't

One When Terror Wants to Have Its Say 3

Two From Cover to Uncover 25

Three Turning 50 35

Four The Body as Metaphor and Mirror 43

Five No Brakes 52

Six Carrying Weights 59

Part Two Lies My Mother Told Me

Seven Slow Down the Hurry Up 69

Eight The Silent Sanctuaries of Shame 77

Nine Panic 89

Ten Say It with Eggs 101

Part Three Get Out There and Dance

Eleven Transcendental Bodies 1 7

Twelve Hangin' Out 1 29

Thirteen Born to Be Wild 1 37

Fourteen Writing from the Body 149

Fifteen Bear the Body, Bare the Soul . . .

And Let the Dancing Begin 1 57

Sixteen The Language of the Body Is Spoken F^ere 164

Seventeen Dances of the Heart 174

^ar\ Four Some Body's Left

Eighteen Bodies in Pain 181

Appendix Your Body Odyssey 203

Bibliography 219
Acknowledgments

i plendid teachers have introduced me to the wisdom of our

i^^ bodies. I am grateful especially to Karen Roeper, Manfred
Fischbeck, CherieMcCoy, and Ron Petit.
Thanks to the members of the improvisational movement
group lead each v/eek, who have allowed me to develop new
I

ways to explore and delight in the body's creativity. Every week,

dancing with them takes me to a state of awe.
I owe a great debt to Thomas Wright, co-creator of the Writ-
ing Your Own Permission Slip course, from which many of the
book's examples are drawn.
Many artists and advocates with a passion for vital and crea-
tive my own work in aging and particularly
aging have inspired
the writing of this book. Among those whose leadership and per-
sonal encouragement have been a lighthouse for me are Susan
Perlstein, Sally Hebson, Jan Hively, Jane Cunningham, Connie
Goldman, Evelyn Fairbanks, and Maria Genne. I also give credit

to authors Meridel Le Sueur, Brenda Ueland, James Hillman, and

Sam Keen, whose writings and example awakened my excite-

ment about writing and about aging with vigor.

Members of the faculty in F^amline University's Master of

Fine Arts in Writing program nursed me through the writing of
this book with great competence and care. I especially thank

the members of my thesis committee, Margot Gait, Larry Sutin,

and Barrie Jean Borich.

My writing group stayed with me through the develop-

ment of the book, believed in it, and gave me critical, practical
feedback. Audrey Rogness, Carol Nulsen, Lisa Deitz, Marie
Michael, and Linda Varvel contributed much insight to this
manuscript.
Tim Mclndoo brought book his exqui-
to the editing of this
site sensitivity as he nudged me toward clarity and simplicity

in my writing. Thank you, Tim. also want to acknowledge Sid

I

Farrar for his valuable guidance about publishing.

Friends make all They teach me, encourage
the difference.
me, challenge me, and love me. Thank you for helping me shape
and hold on to my dreams: Rita Mays, Anne Boever, Marjorie
Spagl, Ron Nelsen, Kathy Olson, Linda Gearke, Cindy Gray,
Barb Grohs, Joy Anderson, Julia Jergensen-Edelman, Larry
Freeborg, Jeff Sylvestre, Cynthia Ryden, Brian Brooks, Tracy
Leverentz, Michael Leverentz, and Dennis Verrett. Thanks also
to my son, Andre Samples, for his loving support and faith in me.
Preface

J/our body has stories to tell. So does mine. Our sad, fear-

y ful, surprising, and joyful moments register in tightened

muscles, quickened heartbeat, a rush of energy. These somatic
imprints stay with us, especially if they are often repeated, hold-
ing in our bodies our lifetime of experience. Our bodies become
home to our stories. The longer we live, the more stories await

our discovery.
Body Odyssey: Lessons from the Bones and Belly is an invitation to
get to know our bodies in a new way so we can harvest these
stories. Because our bodies are archives of our experience, we
can turn to them as a generous resource for wisdom, creativity,

and learning, especially in our older years. In these pages, I il-

lustrate a mindful approach to discovering what they can reveal

through stories of my own body's revelations. I also draw on
the wisdom and experiences of others. My hope is that through
reading these stories and reflections, you will be intrigued by
the mysteries of your own body.
But most important, this book calls for a change in how we
regard the aging body. In much of American culture, the bodies

of the old have too long been the subject of despair and ridi-

cule. In the recent push for "healthy aging," older bodies have

become the object of anti-aging toning and tucking campaigns.

But what if our bodies were regarded as treasure chests, filled

with an abundance of hidden riches that can nourish, heal, and

energize us until our last breath? What if we were willing to

learn from them? What if we could creatively express the stories

they hold through writing, dancing, or other artistic forms?
XI (
-~~ Preface

As I have raised these questions in classes, talks, and work-

shops across the United States, people have expressed surprise
and delight at the hidden jewels they find when they befriend
their bodies in this new way. 1 wanted many more people to
have this experience. That's why I wrote this book. I've even in-

cluded an appendix that suggests specific activities to help you

expand your own body awareness. I've also listed resources, in-
cluding information about body-based therapies and teachings
that might assist you in your discovery process. Should some
of the stories and exercises in this book stir up deeply disturb-

ing memories held in your body, professional guidance may be

especially important for you in order to gain the wisdom and
healing that are possible from listening to your body.
I came to understand the aging body's amazing gifts through
an eclectic course of study that began when I turned fifty. I

wanted to know how to make the most of the second half of my

life, and since my body was giving me many signals of distress,
I found myself curious to learn from its messages. Body aware-
ness teachers and healers helped me awaken to the sources of
my pain and to unexpressed vitality. learned from mindfulness I

practices what my body wanted and what it was capable of, mo-
ment by moment. I participated in improvisational dance and
theatre activities. I learned how to stop and rest. Little by little,

I came to notice and cherish my somatic wisdom and creativity.

At the same time, as an author and speaker on family care-

giving, I had become markedly aware of physical frailty and its

impact on family members and friends. 1 saw caregivers too of-

ten wearing out and dying faster than the people they cared for.

I couldn't help but wonder if there were lessons to learn from

these bodies as they were failing.
I have devoted the past decade not only to pursuing my per-
sonal body odyssey but to expanding my understanding of how
all of us, especially as we age, can become more conscious and
appreciative of what our bodies have to offer. I decided to pur-
 Preface ^ xiii

sue a master's degree in human development, with an emphasis

on conscious aging and the body, which involved a great deal
of self-designed fieldwork. I observed, interviewed, read, and
wrote. But my main course of study in the past decade has been
with somatic and spiritual teachers, artists, fellow professionals

in the aging field, who have touched my life, and

older people
other friends and acquaintances who have chosen to live with
conscious awareness and intention in their bodies. My ultimate
teacher, of course, has been my body, and this learning continues
day by day.

Since we learn best what we teach, 1 have been teaching and

speaking on the wisdom of our aging bodies for much of the
past decade. Again and again, 1 am thrilled by the opportunity
to be a witness as people come to discover, write, sing, dance,
celebrate —and sometimes revise —the stories their bodies tell

them. Teaching about aging and the body also helps me stay
attentive to my own body's emerging stories. Let me begin Body
Odyssey by telling you a story that my body told me one day,

taking me quite by surprise.

 Part One

TDcHiy^i Bttr^ /W^ B&'/vr& / Z)ce^

What is going on when our bodies cry out?

Maybe they have lived too long without any-
one hearing their stories.
^^ Chapter One

When Terror Wants to Have Its Say

^ X en of us sit on floor cushions around workshop leader

€^ Cherie McCoy. We are here in this home in an old St.

Paul neighborhood to discover how attention to our bodies can

help heal wounds of the psyche.
I am excited, curious, nervous. Nearly fifty years old, I've
attended plenty of classes and workshops on personal develop-
ment, yet I'm on edge. I don't know quite what to expect from
this Self Acceptance Training. I'm only here because I trust my
friend who recommended I attend. As wait
I for the workshop to
begin, I'm aware of gnawing body troubles —back pain, shoul-
der tension, tight jaw — plus a collection of anxieties and fears.

Nothing life-threatening, but often life-diminishing. They're the

reason I'm here. After having tried many ways to solve these
problems, I hope Cherie can help me figure out what's got me
stuck. Yet, I question whether I should be here. Will I like these

people? Will I be asked to do something weird? How will I

manage to sit on the floor for two days?

Cherie's size and smile remind me of a cherub. As she gets
the workshop under way, she welcomes us in a voice as soothing
as a kitten's purr. She asks us to keep what we hear in the work-
shop confidential. Then she tells us that each person will get an
hour or more of personal help from her in front of the group.
First, though, we'll each have about ten minutes to introduce
ourselves and explain why we're here.

^- 3
4 — Don't Bury Me Before I Die

One by one, stories of trouble unfold. An older woman tells

of a strained relationship with her daughter. A mid-twenties

man wants to figure out his calling. A balding, heavyset man
is tired of feeling depressed. And so it goes around the circle.

With each person, Cherie points out where the story rests in
the person's body.
Hannah*, a tall, woman, wants to be more
stiff-necked young
accepting of her chronic pain. Cherie smiles maternally and
says, "Hannah, check in with your body and see if you can feel

where you carry the resistance to the pain."

"I have this lump in my throat a lot of the time. It's hard to

swallow."
"Is there something you're having trouble swallowing?" Cherie
asks tenderly, as if taking the woman into her arms.
Hannah starts to choke. "I've been swallowing my fear. I've

been trying so hard to be brave." The choking changes to sobbing.

"1 don't know how long I can do this. The pain is so wearing."
"Yes, the pain is wearing, and so is holding in all of the resis-
tance to the pain — trying so hard to be brave. Let the tears come
that want to come, and let all the fear be there."
"It feels huge."

"Yes. It is huge. That's why you have a lump in your throat.

Your fear is big and it wants to have a voice. It's choking you to
get your attention."
Hannah's face softens into a smile. The tears stop, she sits

up straighten
"I've been trying to be so positive, to visualize health, to
stay strong."
"You can be positive and strong and brave, and still feel the
fear."

Hannah takes a big breath and nods.

Some names and details in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of
the people described and to simplify the storytelling.
Other documents randomly have
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