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 Business
Analysis for
Business
Intelligence

Bert Brijs
 Business
Analysis for
Business
Intelligence

Bert Brijs
CRC Press
Taylor & Francis Group
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Boca Raton, FL 33487-2742

© 2013 by Taylor & Francis Group, LLC

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Contents
Preface...................................................................................................xix
Acknowledgments............................................................................. xxiii

Chapter 1 Introduction........................................................................ 1
Why This Book?............................................................................1
ICT Has Grown Up.................................................................1
A Practical Approach..............................................................2
Hands-On Issues, Questions, and Methods........................2
Figures Don’t Explain Everything.........................................4
What I Mean by “Business Intelligence”...................................4
From Decision Support to Information Democracy..........4
A Definition..............................................................................6
Scope of This Book..................................................................6
What Does a BA4BI Do?.............................................................7
Defining the Concept “Business Analyst for
Business Intelligence”.............................................................8
“How” Career Path.............................................................9
“Where” Career Path........................................................11
“C-Level” Career Path......................................................11
Structure of This Book...............................................................11
Principal Aspects...................................................................14
Strategy Formulation and Formation............................14
Strategy Implementation.................................................14
Developing a Marketing Strategy...................................14
Financial Perspective........................................................15
Operations Strategy..........................................................15
HRM and BI......................................................................15
Business Intelligence Framework...................................16
Introducing a BI Project...................................................16
Typical Business Analysis Project Flow.........................17
Business Intelligence Processes.......................................18
Tips, Tricks, and a Toolbox..................................................21
BI System.................................................................................21

iii
iv • Contents

Chapters of This Book................................................................22

Macroscopic View of Business Intelligence.......................22
Increasing Cycle Speed of Growth and Its Laws............. 22
Balancing the 5 Ps of Strategic Management................23
Adapting BI to the Organization’s Configuration.......23
Understanding the 4 Cs...................................................23
Business Case for Business Intelligence.........................24
Business Analysis and Management Areas........................24
BI and Cost Accounting...................................................24
BI and Financial Management........................................24
BI and Operations Management.....................................24
BI and Marketing Management......................................24
BI and Human Resources Management........................25
Business Analysis and the Project Life Cycle....................25
Starting a BI Project.........................................................25
Managing the Project Life Cycle.....................................25
Mastering Data Management..........................................25
Mastering Data Quality...................................................25
Business Analyst’s Toolbox..................................................26
Project Direction Document Template..........................26
Interview Summary Template.........................................26
Business Case Document Template................................26
Business Analysis Deliverables Template......................26
Project Charter Document Template.............................27
Best Practice Sharing Template.......................................27
Generic Interview Guide.................................................27
Generic Business Object Definitions............................ 28
Appendices Overview.......................................................... 28
Appendix A: What to Ask on Your Job Interview...... 28
Appendix B: Business Intelligence from
1960 to Today.................................................................... 28
Appendix C: The 101 on Data Warehousing................ 28
Appendix D: Survey for a BI Project............................. 28

Chapter 2 The Increasing Cycle Speed of Growth and Its Laws..... 29

Introduction................................................................................29
Growth Has a Price...............................................................29
Useful Lifespan of the PLC..............................................29
 Contents • v

Three Deltas........................................................................... 30
Time, the Essential Strategic Factor...............................31
Business Analysis Issues.......................................................32
First Law: The Triangle of Knowledge, Growth, and
Strategy Processes......................................................................32
The Knowledge Exchange Process......................................35
Reciprocity.........................................................................36
Long-Term Perspectives...................................................36
Fewer Hierarchies.............................................................36
Measuring Reciprocity..........................................................37
Organizational Drivers....................................................37
Personnel Drivers..............................................................37
Business Analysis Issues.......................................................38
Second Law: Your Narrow Choice between Two Options....... 39
Focus........................................................................................39
Conquest................................................................................ 40
Retreat.................................................................................... 40
Redeploy................................................................................. 42
Strategy Continuum............................................................. 42
Business Analysis Issues...................................................... 43
Third Law: Any Organization Optimizes Two Extremes........ 45
Value Chain Revisited.......................................................... 46
Business Analysis Issues...................................................... 48
What Defines Overall Cost Leadership?...................... 48
What Defines Differentiation?........................................49
Fourth Law: Measure Only What You Can Measure But ........49
Experiment.............................................................................50
Results.................................................................................51
Conclusion.........................................................................51
Business Analysis Issues.......................................................51
A Few Tips.........................................................................52
Fifth Law: There Is Always a Dominant Source.....................52
The Strategic Apex.................................................................53
Exploring Alternatives and Options..............................53
Functional Management.......................................................53
Marketing versus Finance.............................................. 54
Finance versus Operations............................................. 54
Operations versus Marketing......................................... 54
vi • Contents

Operational Layer..................................................................55
Bottom-Up Strategy Formation......................................55
Cybernetic Feedback Loops........................................... 56
Sixth Law: IT Is Here to Stay....................................................59
IT Can Create Competitive Advantages.............................59
Alignment Movement.......................................................... 60
Business Analysis Issues.......................................................61

Chapter 3 Balancing the 5 Ps of Strategic Management.................. 63

Introduction................................................................................63
The 5 Ps and Their Interaction................................................ 64
Managing Strategy.................................................................... 66
Three Strategy Management Styles.................................... 66
The Linear Style................................................................ 66
The Judgmental Style........................................................67
The Bargaining Style.........................................................67
Conclusion........................................................................ 68
Strategy Management Styles and
Plan–Pattern–Ploys....................................................... 69
Choosing the Center of Gravity......................................71

Chapter 4 Adapting BI to the Organization’s Configuration.......... 73

Introduction................................................................................73
Mintzberg’s Configurations......................................................73
Mintzberg’s Lessons for Business Intelligence.......................74
Business Analysis Issues.......................................................76

Chapter 5 Understanding the 4 Cs.................................................... 79

Introduction................................................................................79
Applying the 4 C Perspective on Functions...........................81
4 Cs: The Foundation of a Balanced Scorecard......................81
Business Analysis Issues.......................................................83

Chapter 6 Business Case for Business Intelligence.......................... 85

Introduction................................................................................85
Basics of Information Economics........................................... 86
 Contents • vii

Illustrating IE with a Business Case........................................87

From a Process to a Marketing Culture............................ 88
First Conclusion: Save on Reporting Operations........ 88
Second Conclusion: Churn Reduction through
Better Customer Analysis................................................89
Third Conclusion: Better Prospect Qualification........ 90
Generic Advantages of Business Intelligence.........................93
Improved Communication Effectiveness...........................94
Improved Data Quality.........................................................94
Common Engineering Models.......................................94
Product Data Models........................................................95
Customer Data Models....................................................95
Better Understanding of Available Data........................... 96
Smarter Extraction and Exchange of Data....................... 96
Better Understanding of the Business Processes..............97

Chapter 7 BI and Cost Accounting................................................... 99

Setting up an ABC System Using BI....................................... 99
Assemble All Sources of Cost Registration....................... 99
Validate the Consistency................................................... 100
Assign the Sources in a Meaningful Way....................... 100
Eight Steps for Cost Assignment..................................101
Consider the Alternatives during the Cost
Assignment Process........................................................102
Express Assumptions..........................................................103
Communicate the Results and Validate Them in
the Field.................................................................................103
Pros and Cons of Activity-Based Costing........................104
Pros...................................................................................104
Cons..................................................................................104
Closer Look at ABC Source Systems.....................................105
Accounting System..............................................................105
Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) System..................105
Product Data Management Systems.................................105
Budgeting Systems...............................................................107
Time Registration and Access Systems............................107
Payroll Systems....................................................................107
Warehouse Management Systems.....................................108
viii • Contents

Inventory Management Systems.......................................108

Document Management Systems......................................108
Setting up ABC Analysis in the Data Warehouse...............109
Conclusion.................................................................................110

Chapter 8 BI and Financial Management........................................111

The 101 on Financial BI Deliverables.....................................111
Keep Your SOX On!.................................................................112
Data Lineage....................................................................113
Mutual Adjustment........................................................114
Understanding the Business Process Flows................114
Business Analysis for Financial Reporting...........................115
Chart of Accounts................................................................115
Required Reports.................................................................116
Certified Reports.............................................................117
Analytical and Explorative Reports.............................117
Finance Reports Connected to Other Subject
Areas............................................................................... 118
Special Attention for Slowly Changing Dimensions........ 121
Special Attention for Presentation Options.................... 122
Business Analysis Issues.................................................... 123

Chapter 9 BI and Operations Management.................................... 125

The 101 on Operations Management.....................................125
Customer Order Point (COP)............................................125
Forecasting...........................................................................127
Optimization of the Supply Chain................................... 128
Business FAQs................................................................ 128
Quality Management..........................................................129
Setting up Outsourcing Analysis......................................129
Production Management and Information Architecture........130
MRP II Software.............................................................130
Capacity Management Software...................................132
Network Planning Software..........................................133
A Basic Concept of IS for Production Management.......133
What to Measure..................................................................... 134
First Example: Physical Goods Transport....................... 134
 Contents • ix

Second Example: Inventory Management Systems........137

s,Q or the Two-Bin System............................................137
s,S......................................................................................138
R,S.....................................................................................138
R,s,S..................................................................................138
Basic Supply Chain Report Requirements............................138
Introduction.........................................................................138
Total Cycle and Optimum Variable Cost.........................139
Rotation of Supplies........................................................139
Rotation of Production..................................................139
Rotation of Customers...................................................140
Rotation of Purchases and Subcontractors.................140
Total Cycle = RotationS + RotationPR
+ RotationC – RotationP Optimum Total
Variable Costs..................................................................140
EOQ with Partial Deliveries..............................................140
Product Analysis..................................................................141
Supplier Analysis.................................................................141
Setting up a Forecasting System Using BI............................142
General Recommendations................................................143
Forecasting Can Have a Thorough Impact.................143
Forecasting Is a Total Process.......................................144
Defining the KPIs for a Forecasting System....................144
Cost Justification for Forecasting......................................146
Step 1: Collect the Data..................................................146
Step 2: Decide on the Grain...........................................147
Step 3: Integrate the Data...............................................147
Step 4: Select the Data....................................................147
Step 5: Prepare the Data.................................................147
Step 6: Choose and Develop the Model.......................148
Step 7: Validate the Model.............................................148
Step 8: Evaluate the Model in Detail............................148
Step 9.1: Evaluate the Results: Improved
Delivery Performance....................................................148
Step 9.2: Evaluate the Results: Reduction in
Inventory Carrying Costs..............................................149
Step 9.3: Do a Complete Cost of Ownership
Analysis............................................................................150
Step 9.4: Calculate the ROI............................................150
x • Contents

Business Analysis Issues.....................................................151

General Remarks.............................................................151
Questions and Issues to Be Addressed........................152

Chapter 10 BI and Marketing Management..................................... 153

Introduction..............................................................................153
What Do We Mean by “CRM”?.............................................153
What Do We Mean by Behavior Analysis?.......................... 154
Can We Learn from Past Failures?........................................155
When Operations Leads the Dance..................................156
When Finance Leads the Dance........................................156
When Overly Complex Sales Models Are the Rule........156
When BI Is Used for the Wrong Reasons.........................158
How BI Can Contribute to Marketing Management..........159
Market Research..................................................................160
Affinity Analysis..................................................................160
Direct Product Profitability (DPP)....................................161
Product Development.........................................................162
Sales.......................................................................................164
Sales Promotion...................................................................164
Customer Service.................................................................165
Channel Management.........................................................165
Retail Marketing..................................................................165
Industrial Marketing...........................................................166
Professional Services Marketing.......................................167
Fast-Moving Consumer Goods Marketing......................167
Consumer Investment Goods Marketing........................168
Pharmaceutical Marketing.................................................168
OTC Products Marketing..............................................169
Ethical Drugs Marketing...............................................169
Business Analysis Issues.....................................................169
Check the CRM Data.....................................................169
Check the Behavioral Analysis Status..........................170
Market Research.............................................................170
Affinity Analysis.............................................................170
Direct Product Profitability...........................................170
Product Development.....................................................170
Sales..................................................................................170
 Contents • xi

Sales Promotion..............................................................171
Customer Service............................................................171
Channel Management....................................................172
Retail Marketing.............................................................172
Industrial Marketing......................................................172
Professional Services Marketing...................................173
Fast-Moving Consumer Goods Marketing.................173
Consumer Investment Goods Marketing...................173
Pharmaceutical Marketing............................................174

Chapter 11 BI and Human Resources Management........................ 175

The War for Talent and How to Lose It.................................175
Disconnect Strategy Planning
Process—Competence Management................................176
A Lack of ERM Strategies..............................................177
Kurieren am Symptom...................................................177
Managing Absenteeism...........................................................178
Introduction.........................................................................178
Absenteeism Measures........................................................179
How BI Can Lend a Hand..................................................180
Business Analysis Issues.....................................................183
Security.............................................................................183
“Hard” KPIs....................................................................183
“Soft” KPIs......................................................................184
Questions for the HRM Department................................184

Chapter 12 Starting a BI Project........................................................ 187

Overview....................................................................................187
An Iterative Process.............................................................187
Mapping the Process Stages on the Business
Analysis Issues.................................................................188
Creating the Need.................................................................... 190
Expectations: In Search of the Business Value................191
Funding the Business Intelligence Project.......................194
Probing for the Motivation................................................195
Focus on the Expectations through the
Entire Project.............................................................. 195
xii • Contents

Formal Things Customers Want...................................197

Informal Things Customers Want................................197
Handle Queues................................................................198
Close Loops......................................................................198
Gathering the Information.....................................................199
Study the Terrain.................................................................199
Who You Need to Know.................................................... 200
What You Need to Know................................................... 200
Analyzing the Decision-Making Processes..........................201
Introduction.........................................................................201
Decisions, Teams, and Groups at Work.......................... 203
A Classification of Decision-Making
Environments.............................................................. 203
Process View................................................................... 203
What Drives the Decision-Making Process............... 204
Heuristics........................................................................ 205
Stereotyping, the Dark Force....................................... 206
Group Decision Making............................................... 208
Organizational Change.......................................................213
Make the Trade Profitable.............................................213
Make Them Dream.........................................................213
Use Positive Feedback....................................................214
Phase Out the Old Systems, Fast...................................214
Form a Coalition of the Willing...................................214
Adapt to the Organization’s Risk Profile.....................214
Prepare for Setbacks.......................................................215
Mintzberg’s Management Myths......................................215
What Do We Learn from This for Our BI Projects?.......216
Conclusion............................................................................217
Business Analysis Issues.....................................................217
Producing the Documents......................................................218
Project Direction Document..............................................218
Interview Summaries..........................................................219
Business Requirements.......................................................219
Business Case.......................................................................219
Project Charter.................................................................... 220
Validating the Results............................................................. 220
“I Wanted Performance!”.................................................. 220
“Why Do I Need the Full Client?”.....................................221
 Contents • xiii

“Now That I See the Results…”..........................................221

Check the Business Case.....................................................221
Support and Maintenance.......................................................221
Validation............................................................................ 222
Vision Support.................................................................... 222

Chapter 13 Managing the Project Life Cycle.................................... 223

Business Analysis and Project Planning.............................. 224
Business Requirements Gathering........................................ 225
Interview the CEO.............................................................. 226
What Are Your Objectives?.......................................... 226
Survey the User Group....................................................... 227
What Are Your Objectives?.......................................... 227
Interviews and Workshops................................................ 228
What Are Your Objectives?.......................................... 228
Requirements Challenging................................................ 229
How to Challenge the Requirements.......................... 230
Testing the Robustness of the Requirements..............232
Making It Stick.....................................................................233
Solid Building Blocks.....................................................233
Auxiliary Analysis Areas.............................................. 234
Dimensional Modeling........................................................... 234
Data Warehousing 2.0 from Bill Inmon...........................235
Conformed Dimensions of Ralph Kimball..................... 236
Hubs, Links, and Satellites of Dan Linstedt.................... 238
Mixed Design Choices........................................................239
Conclusions..........................................................................239
BI Application Specification.................................................. 242
Business Analysis and Growth—Maintenance................... 245
Source Changes................................................................... 245
Dwindling User Support................................................... 246
Sharing Project Knowledge............................................... 247
Knowledge Objects........................................................ 248
Interview......................................................................... 248
Publication Platform..................................................... 248
Preparing a BI Competence Center................................. 250
Assess Readiness............................................................ 250
Build the Team................................................................252
xiv • Contents

Business Analysis Issues.....................................................252

Conclusion.......................................................................253

Chapter 14 Mastering Data Management......................................... 255

Major Components of Data Management........................... 256
Overview.............................................................................. 256
Master Data......................................................................... 256
Source Analysis................................................................... 258
Data Profiling...................................................................... 258
Source-to-Target Mapping.................................................259
Metadata Management for Business Analysts................ 260
Before the Project........................................................... 260
During the Project......................................................... 262
After the Project............................................................. 262
Framework for Data Management........................................ 262
Dublin Core......................................................................... 263
Zachman Framework......................................................... 265
Structured Writing............................................................. 266
Structured Writing and Data Management............... 266
How the Three Components Interact.............................. 267

Chapter 15 Mastering Data Quality.................................................. 271

Which Quality?.........................................................................271
ROI Approach to Data Quality...............................................273
Data Quality for Source Systems.......................................273
Marketing Aspects..........................................................274
Finance Aspects..............................................................274
Operational Aspects.......................................................275
Data Quality for Data Warehouse Systems......................275
Customer Segmentation.................................................275
Customer Credit Analysis.............................................276
Fraud Prevention and Detection..................................276
Building the Business Case............................................... 277
Data Quality Checklist.......................................................279
History Review of the Data Sources............................ 280
Present Situation Review.............................................. 280
Future Outlook................................................................281
 Contents • xv

Chapter 16 Business Analyst’s Toolbox............................................. 283

Overview................................................................................... 283
Project Direction Document Template................................ 284
Introduction........................................................................ 284
Document’s Contents.............................................................. 285
Project Background............................................................ 285
Project Context................................................................... 285
Business Case...................................................................... 285
Project Definition............................................................... 286
Project Organization Structure........................................ 286
Project Approach................................................................ 286
Interview Summary Template............................................... 286
Background Information................................................... 287
Roles and Responsibilities............................................ 287
Business Processes......................................................... 287
Interaction with or Ownership of
Business Processes......................................................... 287
Interview Summary....................................................... 288
Open Issues—Questions............................................... 288
Next Steps....................................................................... 288
Business Case Document Template...................................... 288
Introduction........................................................................ 288
Efficiency Economics......................................................... 289
Ad Hoc Reports.............................................................. 289
Asset Management........................................................ 289
Absenteeism Reduction................................................. 289
Reduction in Coordination Costs............................... 289
Improved Negotiation Position.................................... 289
Revenue Improvement....................................................... 290
Pricing............................................................................. 290
Qualification Improvement.......................................... 290
Customer Valuation Improvement.............................. 290
Improvement in Order Cancellations..........................291
Improved Forecasting....................................................291
Strategic Opportunities...........................................................291
Information Value for Your Customers............................291
Faster Response to Changing Conditions...................291
Quality of Decisions...................................................... 292
xvi • Contents

Business Analysis Deliverables Template............................. 292

Introduction and Overview.............................................. 292
Overview of the Deliverables.............................................293
High-Level Situation Analysis......................................293
Purpose of the BI Project.............................................. 302
Stakeholder Matrix........................................................ 304
Business Requirements................................................. 304
Project Management Constraints................................ 308
Scope of the Product...................................................... 309
Data Requirements.........................................................310
Presentation Methods....................................................311
Business Security Requirements...................................311
Other Requirements.......................................................314
Project Plan and Task List Proposal.............................314
Documentation...............................................................314
Glossary............................................................................315
Project Charter Document Template....................................315
Overview...............................................................................315
Project Scope...................................................................316
Project Organization......................................................316
External Relationships and Dependencies..................317
Project Approach............................................................317
Project Resources............................................................317
Risk Analysis...................................................................317
Business Case...................................................................318
Initial Project Plan..........................................................318
Best Practice Sharing Template..............................................321
Overview...............................................................................321
Title Page..........................................................................322
Executive Summary........................................................322
Best Practice Identification............................................322
Reason(s) Why This Is a Best Practice.........................323
Definitions.......................................................................323
Resources for the Best Practice.....................................323
How the Best Practice Works........................................323
Specific Instructions...................................................... 324
Cost.................................................................................. 324
Application Area............................................................ 324
Contact Information..................................................... 324
 Contents • xvii

Generic Interview Guide........................................................ 324

Introduction........................................................................ 324
How to Introduce the Interview Guide.......................325
Generic Interview List.........................................................325
Frame of Reference.........................................................325
Generic Questions.............................................................. 326
Finally....................................................................................327
Interview Guide per Functional Area...................................327
Strategic Decision Making.................................................327
Finance and Controlling.....................................................329
Marketing.............................................................................330
Sales.......................................................................................330
Logistics and Operations....................................................331
Metadata Checklist..................................................................331
Metadata for Integration....................................................331
Metadata for Transformation............................................332
Generic Business Object Definitions.....................................332
Overview...............................................................................332
Defining the Principal Asset of an
Organization: Customer..........................................................333
Introduction.........................................................................333
Taxonomy of Customer.......................................................334
Generic Definition of Customer........................................334
Specific Customer Definitions............................................335
Organization, a Meaningful Concept?..................................336
The Many Definitions of Organization.............................337
Employee or Partner?...............................................................338
Product...................................................................................... 340
Territory.................................................................................... 341
Geographical Aspects of Territory................................... 342

Appendices........................................................................................... 343
Overview................................................................................... 343
How Do You Become a BA4BI?........................................ 343
Data Knowledge............................................................. 343
Application Knowledge................................................. 344
Process Knowledge........................................................ 344
BI Skills............................................................................ 345
Interpersonal Skills........................................................ 345
xviii • Contents

Appendix A: What to Ask on Your Job Interview.............. 345

Introduction........................................................................ 345
Questions............................................................................. 346
Appendix B: Business Intelligence from 1960 to Today.... 347
Introduction........................................................................ 347
Early Years........................................................................... 347
Emergence of the Data Warehouse.................................. 348
Business-Driven Business Intelligence Era..................... 349
Appendix C: The 101 on Data Warehousing....................... 349
Business Need..................................................................... 349
Technology Barriers........................................................... 350
Denormalization versus the Third Normal Form......351
Definitions.......................................................................351
Open to Multiple Sources..............................................353
Solutions................................................................................353
Components.....................................................................353
Extract, Transform, Load Process................................355
Appendix D: Survey for a BI Project for the
Purchasing Department......................................................... 356
Introduction........................................................................ 356
A Few Caveats......................................................................357
Example.................................................................................357
Bibliography......................................................................................... 359
Preface
Running a business from a Business Intelligence (BI) point of view is like
setting up research strategies to accept or reject hypotheses, prejudice, or
generally accepted theories, refining and improving models, illustrating
and reinforcing these with actions and stories to build the foundation
upon which your organization’s strategies are built.

LINEAR SHORTCUTS
But for lack of time, budget, or other reasons, we tend to create “linear
shortcuts” and restrict ourselves to empiric, rule-based business intel-
ligence. And even on that level, things can go seriously wrong. Maybe
the drawing in Figure F.1 says it better than words. The shaded ellipse
is the linear shortcut, ignoring or, worse, denying the existence of other
possible causes and only grasping part of the problem and the solution.
Management is satisfied with an explanatory power expressed by the 0.65
of the correlation coefficient and does not have the level of sophistication
to push the envelope farther. One direction is to get more root causes in
the model, increasing R, and the other—equally important if not more
so—is to monitor the root causes on a continuous basis because nothing
is more ephemeral than analysis results based on transactions that are
dimensionalized, aggregated, and ranked according to the organization’s
paradigms.
These linear shortcuts are cause and effect chains that are easy to com-
municate to the organization. Thus, management deprives itself of thor-
ough and methodical Business Intelligence methods and systems that take
the “horizontal” approach to its success or failure drivers. As the deci-
sion maker is seeking a satisfactory outcome rather than the best pos-
sible, he is paying an opportunity cost that is not seen in the books but
might lead to the organization’s premature demise. The history of the rise
and fall of many great companies shows a constant in their behavior: the
strategic patterns, ploys, and posture that led to their success also lead to
their downfall as they keep clinging to their linear shortcuts. These linear

xix
xx • Preface

shortcuts undermine the potential of business intelligence and, as a con-

sequence, the organization’s strategic potential.

Outcome

Secondary Secondary Secondary

Effect 1 Effect 2 Effect n

R = 0.65

Primary Primary Primary

Effect 1 Effect 2 Effect n

Root Root Root

Cause 1 Cause 2 Cause n

Linear shortcuts lead to oversimplification in decision making.

THERE IS NO SILVER BULLET IN BI

I am not claiming to have found the silver bullet that will produce the
ultimate Business Intelligence model. The only promise I can make to the
reader is that he or she will discover the complexity of aligning the organi-
zation’s information management with its strategy process. My hope is that
the organization’s information management will develop a broader view
of Business Intelligence, broader than the Information Technology (IT)
aspects, broader than the business aspects, and broader than the interac-
tion between the two and that this will lead to better performance of the
strategy execution, which is essential for the organization’s survival.
 Preface • xxi

As Business Intelligence becomes more and more pervasive, the com-

petitive edge will go to those organizations that implement and develop
Business Intelligence in close harmony with their specific culture and
their strategy process. When I read Tom Davenport’s article (2006) I did
a double-take. Davenport described what I was doing 20 years ago in a
large German mail-order company. Long before the Internet, we touted
that “One day all marketing would become direct marketing,” meaning
we would be able to individualize our customer relationship management
on all aspects: product, price, promotion, cost, and profit. Because of our
more scientific and analytic approach, we had information of which our
brick-and-mortar competitors, the general stores, could only dream. Now,
our creed is becoming true for even the smaller organizations, and ana-
lytical power and skills are becoming the new competitive frontier. Let
me take you on a tour to inspire you to turn your organization into an
analytical competitor.
Acknowledgments
A well-known African proverb says, “I am but a man because of other
men,” which is so right for this book. So many clients, colleagues, friends,
and even totally unrelated people have contributed to this book that I will
certainly forget to thank many of them. So, if your name is not on the list,
send me an e-mail at [email protected] and I will list your name in the next
edition.
The first men on this planet who led me to the technical aspects of
Business Intelligence were Christian Heusquin, who combined studies
on renewable energy with theories on decision support systems in the
early 1980s, and Gert-Jan Van Oers, head of the analysis department at
Neckermann mail-order, but the man who really widened my technical
view of the subject was Ralph Kimball, a great teacher and a fine human
being. He was always there to answer my questions, rebuke my theses
and, although he was involved in many startup innovative companies, he
never let these interests take over from his value-free, scientific approach
to Business Intelligence.
In my everyday practice I had great support from many colleagues
at Datamotive, a BI specialist in the Benelux, especially from Jochen
Stroobants, business analyst at Datamotive. Jens de Wael, Human
Resources Management (HRM) manager at BIS Industrial Services gave
inspiring advice on HRM and BI, and Luc Bouquet from TEKA Info Pilots
proved a critical reader, pressing me for clear and concise formulation of
my ideas. He also contributed to the section on knowledge transfer and
the template for the best practices interview. Koen Van Waeyenberghe,
a certified data vault modeler challenged my opinions on the modeling
techniques and Paul Merckx, regulatory director of Agfa, also convinced
me to formulate my ideas for a broader audience as he enthusiastically
argued this book would be of interest to a lot more people than I expected.

xxiii
Other documents randomly have
different content
common-lookin’ cake. She said Josiah forgot to give her my letter,
and she didn’t get word I was comin’ till about ten minutes before I
got there; but, between you and me, I never believed that for a
minute. I believe they got up that story between ’em to excuse it off,
things lookin’ so. If I wuzn’t such a friend of hern, and didn’t think
such a sight of her, I wouldn’t mention it for the world. But I think
everything of her, and everybody knows I do, so I feel free to talk
about her.
“How humbly she has growed! Don’t you think so? And her mind
seems to be kind o’ runnin’ down. For how under the sun she can
think so much of that simple old husband of hern is a mystery to me,
unless she is growin’ foolish. If it was your husband, Cassandra,
nobody would wonder at it, such a splendid, noble-appearin’
gentleman as he is. But Josiah Allen was always a poor, insignificant-
lookin’ creeter; and now he is the humbliest, and foolishest, and
meachin’est-lookin’ creeter I ever see in human shape. And he looks
as old as Grandfather Rickerson, every mite as old, and he is most
ninety. And he is vain as a peahen.”
I jest glanced round at Josiah, and then instinctively I looked away
agin. His countenance was perfectly awful. Truly, the higher we are
up the worse it hurts us to fall down. Bein’ lifted up on such a height
of vanity and vain-glory, and fallin’ down from it so sudden, it most
broke his neck (speakin’ in a poetical and figurative way). I, myself,
havin’ had doubts of her all the time, didn’t feel nigh so worked up
and curious, it more sort o’ madded me, it kind o’ operated in that
way on me. And so, when she begun agin to run Josiah and me
down to the lowest notch, called us all to naught, made out we
wuzn’t hardly fit to live, and was most fools, and then says agin:
“I wouldn’t say a word aginst ’em for the world if I wuzn’t such a
friend to ’em—”
 FACE TO FACE.

Then I riz right up, and stood in the open window; and it come up
in front of me some like a pulpit, and I s’pose my mean looked
considerable like a preacher’s when they get carried away with the
subject, and almost by the side of themselves.
Alzina Ann quailed the minute she sot her eyes on me, as much or
more than any minister ever made a congregation quail, and, says
she, in tremblin’ tones:
“You know anybody will take liberties with a friend that they
wouldn’t with anybody else.”
Says I, in deep, awful tones, “I never believed in knockin’ folks
down to show off that we are intimate with ’em.”
“Wall,” says she, “you know I do think everything in the world of
you. You know I shouldn’t have said a word aginst you if I wuzn’t
such a warm friend of yourn.”
“Friend!” says I, in awful axents, “friend! Alzina Ann Rickerson, you
don’t know no more about that word than if you never see a
dictionary. You don’t know the true meanin’ of that word no more
than a African babe knows about slidin’ down hill.”
Says I, “The Bible gives a pretty good idee of what it means: it
speaks of a man layin’ down his life for his friend. Dearer to him than
his own life. Do you s’pose such a friendship as that would be a
mistrustin’ round, a tryin’ to rake up every little fault they could lay
holt of, and talk ’em over with everybody? Do you s’pose it would
creep round under windows and backbite and slander a Josiah?”
I entirely forgot for the moment that she had been a talkin’ about
me, for truly abuse heaped upon my pardner seems ten times as
hard to bear up under as if it was heaped upon me.
Josiah whispered to me: “That is right, Samantha! give it to her!”
and, upheld by duty and that dear man, I went on, and says I:
“My friends, those I love and who love me, are sacred to me. Their
well-being and their interest is as dear to me as my own. I love to
have others praise them, prize them as I do; and I should jest as
soon think of goin’ round tryin’ to rake and scrape sunthin’ to say
aginst myself as aginst them.”
Agin I paused for breath, and agin Josiah whispered:
“That is right, Samantha! give it to her!”
Worshipin’ that man as I do, his words was far more inspirin’ and
stimulatin’ to me than root beer. Agin I went on, and says I:
“Maybe it hain’t exactly accordin’ to Scripture, but there is
somethin’ respectable in open enmity—in beginnin’ your remarks
about anybody honestly, in this way: ‘Now I detest and despise that
man, and I am goin’ to try to relieve my mind by talkin’ about him
jest as bad as I can;’ and then proceed and tear him to pieces in a
straightforward, manly way. I don’t s’pose such a course would be
upheld by the ’postles. But there is a element of boldness and
courage in it amountin’ almost to grandeur, when compared to this
kind of talk: ‘I think everything in the world of that man. I think he is
jest as good as he can be, and he hain’t got a better friend in the
world than I am;’ and then go on, and say all you can to injure him.
“Why, a pirate runs up his skeleton and cross-bars when he is
goin’ to rob and pillage. I think, Alzina Ann, if I was in your place I
would make a great effort, and try and be as noble and
magnanimous as a pirate.”
Alzina Ann looked like a white hollyhawk that had been withered
by a untimely frost. But Cassandra looked tickled (she hadn’t forgot
her sufferin’s, and the sufferin’s of Nathan Spooner). And my Josiah
looked proud and triumphant in mean. And he told me in confidence,
a goin’ home (and I wouldn’t wish it spoke of agin, for folks might
think it was foolish in me to tell such little admirin’ speeches that a
companion will make in moments of harmony and confidence). But
he said that he hadn’t seen me look so good to him as I did when I
stood there in the winder, not for much as thirteen years. Says he:
“Samantha, you looked almost perfectly beautiful.”
That man worships the ground I walk on, and I do hisen.
 THE LORDS OF CREATION.

J osiah Allen is awful tickled to think he is a man. He has said so to

me, time and agin. And I don’t wonder a mite at it. Men are first-
rate creeters, and considerable good-lookin’. I have always said so.
And they have such glorious chances to be noble and grand, and to
work for the true and the right, that I don’t wonder a mite that
Josiah feels just as he duz feel.
And when Josiah tells me how highly tickled he is he is a man—
when he says it in a sort of a pensive and dreamy way, kinder
miselanious like—I don’t resent it in him but on the contrary approve
of it in him, highly. But once in a while he will get to feelin’ kind o’
cross and uppish, and say it to me in a sort of a twittin’ way, and
boastin’.
Mebby he will begin by readin’ out loud to me sunthin’ against
wimmen’s rights, in the World or almanac, or some other high-toned
periodical; sometimes it will be awful cuttin’ arguments aginst
wimmen. And after he gets through readin’ it he will speak out in
such a sort of a humiliatin’ way about how awful tickled he is, he is a
man, so he can vote, and help keep the glorious old state of New
York on its firm basis of nobility, morality, and wise economy.
Why, says he to me the other afternoon (feelin’ fractious was the
cause of his sayin’ it at the time), says he: “Wimmen are dretful
simple creeters; gossipin’, weak, weak-minded, frivolous bein’s;
extravagant, given to foolish display. They don’t mind the cost of
things if they can only make a big show. So different from men, they
be. Why,” says he proudly and boastfully, “you never in your life
ketched a man gossipin’ over their neighbors’ affairs. You never see
’em meddlin’ the least mite with scandal and evil talkin’. Men are
economical, sound-minded. They spend only jest what they need,
what is useful—nothin’ more, not a cent more. Why,” says he, “take
it with wimmen’s foolish extravagance and love of display, what
would the glorious old state of New York come to if it was sot under
her rain? And they are so weak, too,—wimmen be. Why, old Error
would take ’em by the nose” (Josiah, I think, is a practicin’ allegory.
He uses flowery rhetoricks and simelys as much agin as he used to
use ’em.) And he repeated agin, with a haughty look: “Old Error
would take ’em by the nose, as it were, and lead ’em into all sorts of
indiscretions, and weakness, and wickedness, before they knew it.
“Why, if we men of New York state had a woman’s incapability of
grapplin’ with wrong, and overthrowin’ of it: if we had her love of
scandal and gossip; if we had her extravagance and love of display,
where would the glorious old state of New York be to-day? Where
would her morals be? Where would her finankle and money affairs
be?”
And Josiah leaned back in his chair, and crossed his legs over each
other, as satisfied and contented a crossin’ as I ever see, and says
agin:
“If I was ever proud and tickled about anything in my life,
Samantha Allen, I am tickled to think I am a man.”
He had been readin’ a witherin’ piece out of the almanac to me—
an awful deep, skareful piece aginst wimmen’s suffrage. And feelin’
cross and fractious, he did look so awful overbearin’ and humiliatin’
onto me, on account of my bein’ a woman, that I sprunted right up
and freed my mind to him. I am very close-mouthed naturally, and
say but very little, but I can’t stand everything.
While he was talkin’ I had been a fixin’ a new tow mop that I had
been a spinnin’ into my patented mop-stick, and had jest got it done.
And I riz right up and pinted with it at a picture of the new capitol at
Albany that hung over the sink. It was a noble and commandin’
gesture (though hard to the wrist). It impressed him dretfully, I
could see it did. I had that sort of a lofty way with me as I gestured,
and went on in awful tones to say:
 A MONUMENT OF MEN’S ECONOMY.

“When you look at that buildin’, Josiah Allen, no wonder you talk
about wimmen’s extravagance and foolish love of display, and the
econimy and firm common sense of the male voters of the state of
New York, and their wise expenditure of public money. When you
and a passel of other men get together and vote to build a house
costin’ nine or ten millions of dollars to make laws in so small that
wimmen might well be excused for thinkin’ they was made in a
wood-shed or behind a barn-door.”
Says I, lowerin’ down my mop-stick, for truly my arm was weary—
gesturin’ in eloquence with a mop-stick is awful fatiguin’—says I, “As
long as that monument of man’s wisdom and econimy stands there,
no man need to be afraid that a woman will ever dast to speak about
wantin’ to have any voice in public affairs, any voice in the
expenditure of her own property and income tax. No, she won’t dast
to do it, for man’s thrifty, prudent common sense and superior
econimy has been shown in that buildin’ to a extent that is fairly
skareful.”
It is a damper onto anybody when they have been a talkin’
sarcastical and ironical, to have to come out and explain what you
are a doin’. But I see that I had got to, for ever sense I had lowered
my mop-stick and axent, Josiah had looked chirker and chirker, and
now he sot there, lookin’ down at his almanac, as satisfied and
important as a gander walkin’ along in front of nineteen new goslin’s.
He thought I was a praisin’ men. And says I, comin’ out plain, “Look
up here, Josiah Allen, and let me wither you with my glance! I am a
talkin’ sarcastical, and would wish to be so understood!”
But I was so excited that before I had fairly got out of that ironical
tone, I fell into it agin deeper than ever (though entirely unbeknown
to me), and says I:
“As to woman’s love of gossip and scandal, and man’s utter
aversion to it, let your mind fall back four years, Josiah Allen, if you
think it is strong enough to bear the fall.”
And I went on in a still more ironicler tone. I don’t know as I ever
see a more ironicler axent in my hull life than mine was as I went on,
and says:
“How sweet it must be for men to look back and reflect on it, that
while wimmen gloated over the details of that scandalous gossip, not
a man throughout the nation ever gave it a thought. And while
female wimmen, crazy and eager-eyed, stood in knots at their clubs
and on street corners holdin’ each other by the bunnet-strings a
talkin’ it over, and rushed eagerly to the post-office to try to get the
latest details, how sweet to think that the manly editor all over the
land stood up in man’s noble strength and purity, and with a firm eye
on the public morals and the welfare of the young and innocent, and
happily ignorant, refused to gratify woman’s rampent curiosity, and
said nothing of the matter, not a word, in editorial or news column;
but all through those long months filled up their pages with little
moral essays, and cuttin’ articles on their hatred of gossip and
scandal. And when, with unsatisfied, itchin’ ears, wives would
question their husbands concernin’ the chief actors in the drama,
their pure-minded husbands would rebuke them and say, ‘Cease,
woman, to trouble me. We know them not. We have as yet spake no
word upon the subject, and we will not be led into speakin’ of it by
any woman, not even the wife of our youth’”

ON THE RAGGED EDGE.

Josiah looked meachener and meachener, till, as I got through, it

seemed as if he had got to the very bounds of meach. He knew well
how many times that old mare had gone to Jonesville for the last
World, long before its time, so in hopes it would be a little ahead of
its time, so he could get the latest gossip and scandal, and get
ahead of old Gowdey, who took the Times, and old Cypher, who took
the Sun. He knew jest how that post-office was fairly blocked up
with men, pantin’ and sweaty with runnin’, every time the other mails
come in. And he knew well, Josiah Allen did, how he and seven or
eight other old Methodist brethren got to talkin’ about it so engaged
out under the meetin’-house shed, one day, that they forgot
themselves, and never come into meetin’ at all. And we wimmen
sisters had to go out there to find ’em, after the meetin’ was over. He
remembered it, Josiah Allen did, I see that by his mean.
 UNDER THE MEETING-HOUSE SHED.

He didn’t say a word, but sot there smit and conscience-struck.

And then I dropped my ironical tone, and took up my awful one, that
I use a talkin’ on principle. I took up my very heaviest and awfulest
one, as I resumed and continued on.
 “I would talk if I was in your place, Josiah Allen, about wimmen’s
ruinin’ old New York State if they voted. I would soar off into simelys
if I was in your place, and talk about their bein’ led by the nose into
wickedness—and grow eloquent over their weakness and inability to
grapple with error—when ten hundred thousand male voters of the
state stand with their hands in their pockets, or whittlin’ shingles, or
tradin’ jack-knives, or readin’ almanacs, and etcetery, and let an evil
go right on in their midst that would have disgraced old Sodom.
“Why, it is a wonder to me that the pure waters of old Oneida
don’t fairly groan as they wash up on the shores that they can’t
cleanse from this impurity, but would if they could, I know. She don’t
approve of it, that old lake don’t—she don’t approve of anything of
that kind, no more than I do. She and I and the other wimmen of
the state would make short work of such iniquities if we had our say.
“But there them ten hundred thousand male voters stand, calm
and happy, all round the Community, in rows and clusters; porin’
over almanacs, and whistlin’ new and various whistles (Josiah had
broke out into a very curious whistle) and contemplate the sin with
composure and contentment.
“And superintendents of Sabbath-schools and Young Men’s
Christian Associations will make excursions to admire them and their
iniquity, to imbibe bad thoughts and principles unconsciously, but
certainly, as one inevitably must when they behold a crime masked
in beauty, in garments of peace and order and industry. And railroad
managers will carry the young, the easily-impressed, and the
innocent at half price, so eager, seemin’ly, that they should behold
sin wreathin’ itself in flowers, guilt arrayin’ itself in festal robes to
lure the unwary footsteps.”
“Wall,” says Josiah, “I guess I’ll go out and milk.”
And I told him he had better.
 AN EXERTION AFTER PLEASURE.

W all, the very next mornin’ Josiah got up with a new idee in his
head. And he broached it to me to the breakfast table. They
have been havin’ sights of pleasure exertions here to Jonesville
lately. Every week a’most they would go off on a exertion after
pleasure, and Josiah was all up on end to go too.
That man is a well-principled man as I ever see, but if he had his
head he would be worse than any young man I ever see to foller up
picnics and 4th of Julys and camp-meetin’s and all pleasure
exertions. But I don’t encourage him in it. I have said to him time
and again: “There is a time for everything, Josiah Allen, and after
anybody has lost all their teeth and every mite of hair on the top of
their head, it is time for ’em to stop goin’ to pleasure exertions.”
But good land! I might jest as well talk to the wind! If that man
should get to be as old as Mr. Methusler, and be goin’ on a thousand
years old, he would prick up his ears if he should hear of a exertion.
All summer long that man has beset me to go to ’em, for he wouldn’t
go without me. Old Bunker Hill himself hain’t any sounder in principle
than Josiah Allen, and I have had to work head-work to make
excuses and quell him down. But last week they was goin’ to have
one out on the lake, on a island, and that man sot his foot down that
go he would.
We was to the breakfast-table a talkin’ it over, and says I:
“I shan’t go, for I am afraid of big water, anyway.”
Says Josiah: “You are jest as liable to be killed in one place as
another.”
Says I, with a almost frigid air, as I passed him his coffee: “Mebby
I shall be drounded on dry land, Josiah Allen, but I don’t believe it.”
 Says he, in a complainin’ tone: “I can’t get you started onto a
exertion for pleasure any way.”
Says I, in a almost eloquent way: “I don’t believe in makin’ such
exertions after pleasure. As I have told you time and agin, I don’t
believe in chasin’ of her up. Let her come of her own free will. You
can’t ketch her by chasin’ after her no more than you can fetch up a
shower in a drowth by goin’ out doors and runnin’ after a cloud up in
the heavens above you. Sit down and be patient, and when it gets
ready the refreshin’ rain-drops will begin to fall without none of your
help. And it is jest so with pleasure, Josiah Allen; you may chase her
up over all the oceans and big mountains of the earth, and she will
keep ahead of you all the time; but set down and not fatigue
yourself a thinkin’ about her, and like as not she will come right into
your house unbeknown to you.”
“Wall,” says he, “I guess I’ll have another griddle-cake, Samantha.”
And as he took it, and poured the maple-syrup over it, he added
gently, but firmly:
“I shall go, Samantha, to this exertion, and I should be glad to
have you present at it, because it seems jest to me as if I should fall
overboard durin’ the day.”
Men are deep. Now that man knew that no amount of religious
preachin’ could stir me up like that one speech. For though I hain’t
no hand to coo, and don’t encourage him in bein’ spoony at all, he
knows that I am wrapped almost completely up in him. I went.
Wall, the day before the exertion Kellup Cobb come into our house
of a errant, and I asked him if he was goin’ to the exertion; and he
said he would like to go, but he dassent.
“Dassent!” says I. “Why dassent you?”
“Why,” says he, “how would the rest of the wimmen round
Jonesville feel if I should pick out one woman and wait on her?” Says
he bitterly: “I hain’t perfect, but I hain’t such a cold-blooded rascal
as not to have any regard for wimmen’s feelin’s. I hain’t no heart to
spile all the comfort of the day for ten or a dozen wimmen.”
“Why,” says I, in a dry tone, “one woman would be happy
accordin’ to your tell.”
 “Yes, one woman happy, and ten or fifteen gauled—bruised in the
tenderest place.”
“On their heads?” says I enquirin’ly.
“No,” says he, “their hearts. All the girls have probable had more
or less hopes that I would invite ’em—make a choice of ’em. But
when the blow was struck, when I had passed ’em by and invited
some other, some happier woman, how would them slighted ones
feel? How do you s’pose they would enjoy the day, seein’ me with
another woman, and they droopin’ round without me? That is the
reason, Josiah Allen’s wife, that I dassen’t go. It hain’t the keepin’ of
my horse through the day that stops me. For I could carry a quart of
oats and a little jag of hay in the bottom of the buggy. If I had
concluded to pick out a girl and go, I had got it all fixed out in my
mind how I would manage. I had thought it over, while I was
ondecided, and duty was a strugglin’ with me. But I was made to see
where the right way for me lay, and I am goin’ to foller it. Joe Purday
is goin’ to have my horse, and give me seven shillin’s for the use of it
and its keepin’. He come to hire it just before I made up my mind
that I hadn’t ort to go.
“Of course it is a cross to me. But I am willin’ to bear crosses for
the fair sect. Why,” says he, a comin’ out in a open, generous way, “I
would be willin’, if necessary for the general good of the fair sect—I
would be willin’ to sacrifice ten cents for ’em, or pretty nigh that, I
wish so well to ’em. I hain’t that enemy to ’em that they think I am.
I can’t marry ’em all, Heaven knows I can’t, but I wish ’em well.”
“Wall,” says I, “I guess my dish-water is hot; it must be pretty near
bilin’ by this time.”
And he took the hint and started off. I see it wouldn’t do no good
to argue with him, that wimmen didn’t worship him. For when a
feller once gets it into his head that female wimmen are all after
him, you might jest as well dispute the wind as argue with him. You
can’t convince him nor the wind—neither of ’em—so what’s the use
of wastin’ breath on ’em. And I didn’t want to spend a extra breath
that day, anyway, knowin’ I had such a hard day’s work in front of
me, a finishin’ cookin’ up provisions for the exertion, and gettin’
things done up in the house so I could leave ’em for all day.
 We had got to start about the middle of the night, for the lake was
15 miles from Jonesville, and the old mare bein’ so slow, we had got
to start an hour or two ahead of the rest. I told Josiah in the first
on’t, that I had jest as lives set up all night, as to be routed out at
two o’clock. But he was so animated and happy at the idee of goin’
that he looked on the bright side of everything, and he said that we
would go to bed before dark, and get as much sleep as we
commonly did. So we went to bed the sun an hour high. And I was
truly tired enough to lay down, for I had worked dretful hard that
day, almost beyond my strength. But we hadn’t more’n got settled
down into the bed, when we heard a buggy and a single wagon stop
at the gate, and I got up and peeked through the window, and I see
it was visitors come to spend the evenin’. Elder Bamber and his
family, and Deacon Dobbins’es folks.
 ROUTED OUT.

Josiah vowed that he wouldn’t stir one step out of that bed that
night. But I argued with him pretty sharp, while I was throwin’ on
my clothes, and I finally got him started up. I hain’t deceitful, but I
thought if I got my clothes all on, before they came in, I wouldn’t tell
’em that I had been to bed that time of day. And I did get all dressed
up, even to my handkerchief pin. And I guess they had been there
as much as ten minutes before I thought that I hadn’t took my
night-cap off. They looked dretful curious at me, and I felt awful
meachin’. But I jest ketched it off, and never said nothin’. But when
Josiah come out of the bedroom with what little hair he has got
standin’ out in every direction, no two hairs a layin’ the same way,
and one of his galluses a hangin’ most to the floor under his best
coat, I up and told ’em. I thought mebby they wouldn’t stay long.
But Deacon Dobbins’es folks seemed to be all waked up on the
subject of religion, and they proposed we should turn it into a kind
of a conference meetin’; so they never went home till after ten
o’clock.
 “MURDER WILL OUT.”

It was most eleven when Josiah and me got to bed agin. And then
jest as I was gettin’ into a drowse, I heerd the cat in the buttery, and
I got up to let her out. And that rousted Josiah up, and he thought
he heerd the cattle in the garden, and he got up and went out. And
there we was a marchin’ round most all night.
And if we would get into a nap, Josiah would think it was mornin’,
and he would start up and go out to look at the clock. He seemed so
afraid we would be belated, and not get to that exertion in time. And
there we was on our feet most all night. I lost myself once, for I
dreampt that Josiah was a drowndin’, and Deacon Dobbins was on
the shore a prayin’ for him. It started me so, that I jist ketched holt
of Josiah and hollered. It skairt him awfully, and says he, “What does
ail you, Samantha? I haint been asleep before, to-night, and now
you have rousted me up for good. I wonder what time it is.”
And then he got out of bed again, and went and looked at the
clock. It was half past one, and he said “He didn’t believe we had
better go to sleep again, for fear we would be too late for the
exertion, and he wouldn’t miss that for nothin’.”
“Exertion!” says I, in a awful cold tone. “I should think we had had
exertion enough for one spell.”
 SAMANTHA’S DREAM.

But as bad and wore out as Josiah felt bodily, he was all animated
in his mind about what a good time he was a goin’ to have. He acted
foolish, and I told him so. I wanted to wear my brown and black
gingham and a shaker, but Josiah insisted that I should wear a new
lawn dress that he had brought me home as a present, and I had
jest got made up. So, jest to please him, I put it on, and my best
bonnet.
And that man, all I could do and say, would put on a pair of
pantaloons I had been a makin’ for Thomas Jefferson. They was
gettin’ up a milatary company to Jonesville, and these pantaloons
was blue, with a red stripe down the sides—a kind of a uniform.
Josiah took a awful fancy to ’em, and says he:
“I will wear ’em, Samantha; they look so dressy.”
Says I: “They hain’t hardly done. I was goin’ to stitch that red
stripe on the left leg on again. They hain’t finished as they ort to be,
and I would not wear ’em. It looks vain in you.”
Says he: “I will wear ’em, Samantha. I will be dressed up for
once.”
I didn’t contend with him. Thinks I: we are makin’ fools of
ourselves by goin’ at all, and if he wants to make a little bigger fool
of himself, by wearin’ them blue pantaloons, I won’t stand in his
light. And then I had got some machine oil onto ’em, so I felt that I
had got to wash ’em, anyway, before Thomas J. took ’em to wear. So
he put ’em on.
I had good vittles, and a sight of ’em. The basket wouldn’t hold
’em all, so Josiah had to put a bottle of red ross-berry jell into the
pocket of his dress-coat, and lots of other little things, such as
spoons and knives and forks, in his pantaloons and breast-pockets.
He looked like Captain Kidd, armed up to the teeth, and I told him
so. But good land! he would have carried a knife in his mouth if I
had asked him to, he felt so neat about goin’, and boasted so on
what a splendid exertion it was goin’ to be.
 We got to the lake about eight o’clock, for the old mare went slow.
We was about the first ones there, but they kep’ a comin’, and before
ten o’clock we all got there.
The young folks made up their minds they would stay and eat
their dinner in a grove on the mainland. But the majority of the old
folks thought it was best to go and set our tables where we laid out
to in the first place. Josiah seemed to be the most rampant of any of
the company about goin’. He said he shouldn’t eat a mouthful if he
didn’t eat it on that island. He said, what was the use of goin’ to a
pleasure exertion at all if you didn’t try to take all the pleasure you
could. So about twenty old fools of us sot sail for the island.
 FACING TROUBLE.

I had made up my mind from the first on’t to face trouble, so it

didn’t put me out so much when Deacon Dobbins, in gettin’ into the
boat, stepped onto my new lawn dress, and tore a hole in it as big
as my two hands, and ripped it half offen the waist. But Josiah havin’
felt so animated and tickled about the exertion, it worked him up
awfully when, jest after we had got well out onto the lake, the wind
took his hat off and blew it away out onto the lake. He had made up
his mind to look so pretty that day that it worked him up awfully.
And then the sun beat down onto him; and if he had had any hair
onto his head it would have seemed more shady.

BOUND FOR THE ISLAND.

But I did the best I could by him. I stood by him and pinned on his
red bandanna handkerchief onto his head. But as I was a fixin’ it on,
I see there was sunthin’ more than mortification ailed him. The lake
was rough and the boat rocked, and I see he was beginnin’ to be
awful sick. He looked deathly. Pretty soon I felt bad, too. Oh! the
wretchedness of that time. I have enjoyed poor health considerable
in my life, but never did I enjoy so much sickness in so short a time
as I did on that pleasure exertion to that island. I s’pose our bein’ up
all night a’most made it worse. When we reached the island we was
both weak as cats.
I sot right down on a stun and held my head for a spell, for it did
seem as if it would split open. After a while I staggered up onto my
feet, and finally I got so I could walk straight, and sense things a
little. Though it was tejus work to walk, anyway, for we had landed
on a sand-bar, and the sand was so deep it was all we could do to
wade through it, and it was as hot as hot ashes ever was.
Then I began to take the things out of my dinner-basket. The
butter had all melted, so we had to dip it out with a spoon. And a lot
of water had swashed over the side of the boat, so my pies and tarts
and delicate cake and cookies looked awful mixed up. But no worse
than the rest of the company’s did.
But we did the best we could, and the chicken and cold meat bein’
more solid had held together quite well, so there was some pieces of
it considerable hull, though it was all very wet and soppy. But we
separated ’em out as well as we could, and begun to make
preparations to eat. We didn’t feel so animated about eatin’ as we
should if we hadn’t been so sick to our stomachs. But we felt as if
we must hurry, for the man that owned the boat said he knew it
would rain before night, by the way the sun scalded.
There wasn’t a man or a woman there but what the presperation
and sweat jest poured down their faces. We was a haggard and
melancholy-lookin’ set. There was a piece of woods a little ways off,
but it was up quite a rise of ground, and there wasn’t one of us but
what had the rheumatiz more or less. We made up a fire on the
sand, though it seemed as if it was hot enough to steep the tea and
coffee as it was.
After we got the fire started, I histed a umberell and sot down
under it, and fanned myself hard, for I was afraid of a sunstroke.
 Wall, I guess I had set
there ten minutes or
more, when all of a
sudden I thought, where
is Josiah? I hadn’t seen
him since we had got
there. I riz up and asked
the company almost
wildly if they had seen
my companion, Josiah.
They said, “no, they
hadn’t.”
But Celestine Wilkin’s
little girl, who had come
with her grandpa and
grandma Gowdy, spoke
up, and says she:
“I seen him goin’ off
towards the woods. He
acted dretful strange,
too; he seemed to be a ON THE BEACH.
walkin’ off sideways.”
“Had the sufferin’s he
had undergone made him delerious?” says I to myself; and then I
started off on the run towards the woods, and old Miss Bobbet, and
Miss Gowdy, and Sister Bamber, and Deacon Dobbins’es wife all
rushed after me.
Oh, the agony of them two or three minutes! my mind so
distracted with fourbodin’s, and the presperation and sweat a pourin’
down. But all of a sudden, on the edge of the woods, we found him.
Miss Gowdy weighin’ a little less than me, mebby 100 pounds or so,
had got a little ahead of me. He sot backed up against a tree, in a
awful cramped position, with his left leg under him. He looked dretful
uncomfortable. But when Miss Gowdy hollered out:
“Oh, here you be. We have been skairt about you. What is the
matter?”
 He smiled a dretful sick smile, and says he:
“Oh, I thought I would come out here and meditate a spell. It was
always a real treat to me to meditate.”

A DISCOURAGED EXCURSIONIST.
 Just then I come up a pantin’ for breath, and as the wimmen all
turned to face me, Josiah scowled at me, and shook his fist at them
four wimmen, and made the most mysterious motions of his hands
towards ’em. But the minute they turned round he smiled in a sickish
way, and pretended to go to whistlin’.
Says I, “What is the matter, Josiah Allen? What are you off here
for?”
“I am a meditatin’, Samantha.”
Says I, “Do you come down and jine the company this minute,
Josiah Allen. You was in a awful takin’ to come with ’em, and what
will they think to see you act so?”
The wimmen happened to be a lookin’ the other way for a minute,
and he looked at me as if he would take my head off, and made the
strangest motions towards ’em; but the minute they looked at him
he would pretend to smile, that deathly smile.
Says I, “Come, Josiah Allen, we’re goin’ to get dinner right away,
for we are afraid it will rain.”
“Oh, wall,” says he, “a little rain, more or less, hain’t a goin’ to
hender a man from meditatin’.”
I was wore out, and says I, “Do you stop meditatin’ this minute,
Josiah Allen!”
Says he, “I won’t stop, Samantha. I let you have your way a good
deal of the time; but when I take it into my head to meditate, you
hain’t a goin’ to break it up.”
Jest at that minute they called to me from the shore to come that
minute to find some of my dishes. And we had to start off. But oh!
the gloom of my mind that was added to the lameness of my body.
Them strange motions and looks of Josiah wore on me. Had the
sufferin’s of the night, added to the trials of the day, made him
crazy? I thought more’n as likely as not I had got a luny on my
hands for the rest of my days.
And then, oh how the sun did scald down onto me, and the wind
took the smoke so into my face that there wasn’t hardly a dry eye in
my head. And then a perfect swarm of yellow wasps lit down onto
our vittles as quick as we laid ’em down, so you couldn’t touch a
thing without runnin’ a chance to be stung. Oh, the agony of that
time! the distress of that pleasure exertion! But I kep’ to work, and
when we had got dinner most ready, I went back to call Josiah
again. Old Miss Bobbet said she would go with me, for she thought
she see a wild turnip in the woods there, and her Shakespeare had a
awful cold, and she would try to dig one to give him. So we started
up the hill again. He set in the same position, all huddled up, with
his leg under him, as uncomfortable a lookin’ creeter as I ever see.
But when we both stood in front of him, he pretended to look
careless and happy, and smiled that sick smile.
Says I, “Come, Josiah Allen, dinner is ready.”
“Oh! I hain’t hungry,” says he. “The table will probable be full. I
had jest as lieves wait.”
“Table full!” says I. “You know jest as well as I do that we are
eatin’ on the ground. Do you come and eat your dinner this minute.”
“Yes, do come,” says Miss Bobbet, “we can’t get along without
you.”
“Oh!” says he, with that ghastly smile, a pretendin’ to joke, “I have
got plenty to eat here—I can eat muskeeters.”
The air was black with ’em, I couldn’t deny it.
“The muskeeters will eat you, more likely,” says I. “Look at your
face and hands; they are all covered with ’em.”
“Yes, they have eat considerable of a dinner out of me, but I don’t
begrech ’em. I hain’t small enough, nor mean enough, I hope, to
begrech ’em one good meal.”
Miss Bobbet started off in search of her wild turnip, and after she
had got out of sight Josiah whispered to me with a savage look, and
a tone sharp as a sharp axe:
“Can’t you bring forty or fifty more wimmen up here? You couldn’t
come here a minute, could you, without a lot of other wimmen tight
to your heels?”
I begun to see daylight, and after Miss Bobbet had got her wild
turnip and some spignut, I made some excuse to send her on ahead,
and then Josiah told me all about why he had gone off by himself
alone, and why he had been a settin’ in such a curious a position all
the time since we had come in sight of him.
 A DESPERATE SITUATION..

It seems he had sot down on that bottle of rass-berry jell. That

red stripe on the side wasn’t hardly finished, as I said, and I hadn’t
fastened my thread properly, so when he got to pullin’ at ’em to try
to wipe off the jell, the thread started, and bein’ sewed on a
machine, that seam jest ripped right open from top to bottom. That
was what he had walked off sideways towards the woods for. But
Josiah Allen’s wife hain’t one to desert a companion in distress. I
pinned ’em up as well as I could, and I didn’t say a word to hurt his
feelin’s, only I jest said this to him, as I was a fixin’ em: I fastened
my grey eye firmly and almost sternly onto him, and says I:
“Josiah Allen, is this pleasure?” Says I, “You was determined to
come.”
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