GE 1 Understanding The Self

SELF-COMPASSION
Fretcy Joy E. Tenizo 1 BSE-D
What's Self-Compassion?

it involves acknowledging that one's shortcomings

and failures are not unique and are shared by
others(Neff,2003)
Although self-compassion finds it roots in early
Buddhist meditative practices,the concept has been
more recently elaborated,as a sensitivity to one's
own suffering and a desire to alleviate that
suffering,in the extensive works of Neff(2003a,b)
In the words of Neff :

 Self-compassion may entail many of psychological

benefits that have associated with self-esteem but with
fewer of it's pitfalls.Self compassion represents a positive
emotional stance towards oneself,in that one extends
feelings of kindness and caring toward oneself.It helps to
motivate productive behavior and protect against
debeliating effects of self judgement such as deppresion
and anxiety.
Self-Compassion Vs. Self-Esteem

self-compassion self-esteem
 greater emotional reselience  problematic
 more accurate self-concept  self-evaluation
 more caring relationship behavior  contingent on what we accomplish
 less narcissism  rise and fall in failures and
 reactive anger successes
 consistent attitude of kindness  provide us just fuel to rev up our
 acceptance towards ourselves as critical inner voice
a whole
Kristin Neff's Concept(2003)

Self- Common
Mindfulness
Kindness Humanity

Holding
Holding one's
one's painful
painful
Extending
Extending kindness
kindness Seeing
Seeing one's
one's experiences
experiences thoughts
thoughts and
and feelings
feelings in
in
and
and understanding
understanding as
as part
part of
of the
the larger
larger human
human balanced
balanced awareness
awareness rather
rather
to
to oneself
oneself rather
rather than
than harsh
harsh experiencerather
experiencerather thanthan as
as than
than over-identifying
over-identifying
self
self criticism
criticism and
and judgement.
judgement. separatinr
separatinr oror isolating.
isolating. with
with them.
them.

Self-Compassion
In simple words,

Self-Compassion
Self-compassion = treating
yourself the same way
you would treat a friend
during difficult time
Dr.Kristen Neff : 3 Elements of Self-Compassion

Sense of Mindfulness:
Self-kindness: Common
Ignoring nor
Humanity:
Understanding exaggerating
not punishment feelings of
Everybody failure
goes through this
Self-Kindness

understanstanding towards ourselves when

we suffer,fail,or feel inadequate,rather than
flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.
It recognizes that being imperfect and
experiencing life difficulties is inevitable,so we
soothe and nurture ourselves with criticism.
Common Humanity

self- compassion recognizes that life

challenges and personal failures are
part of being human,an experience we
all share . In this way,it help us to feel
less desolated and isolated when we
are in pain.
Mindfulness

is a non-judgemental ,receptive mind-state in

which thoughts and feelings are observed as
they are,without suppressing or denying them.
the mental space provided by taking a mindful
approach to our difficult
feelings,however,allows for greater
clarity,perspective and emotional equanimity.
Self Compassion Phrases

It is helpful to have a set of phrases

memorized to help you remember to be more
compassionate to yourself in the moment.
 You can gently hug yourself and repeat the following phrases:
This is a moment of suffering
Suffering is a part of life
May I be kind to my self
May I give myself the compassion I need.
SELF-COMPASSION BREAK

It can be useful to practice these three

steps when you are not stressed by
calling a situation to mind. Practice
offering yourself self-compassion. If
helpful you might like to place your hand
in your heart,or somewhere else that feels
comforting for this exercise.
Talk to yourself through the following steps:

Step 1. “This is a moment of suffering”

Acknowledging a moment of stress is a type of
mindfulness. If you are able,you may like to name
the emotions present. “This is what it feels like
when I feel stressed”( angry, overwhelmed)
Other options include “This hurts”/ “Ouch”/ “This is
stress”
Talk to yourself through the following steps:

Step 2. “Suffering is a part of life”

It is useful to connect to our common humanity.
Remind yourself that other people have also had
challenges in their lives. You are not broken or
damaged because you are struggling. Options
include “Other people feel this way”/ “I'mnot
alone”/ “We all struggle in our lives”
Talk to yourself through the following steps:

Step 3. “May i be kind to myself”

Offer yourself kindness to this oment. Ask yourself
“What do I need to hear right now to express
kindness to myself?” Is there a word you need for
this,such as
compassion,acceptance,forgiveness,strength or
patience.
3 Paradoxes of Shame

Self-Kindness
Shame feels
blameworthy, but
it is an innocent

Mindfulness
Shame feels
Common Humanity permanent ,
Shame feels but it is transitory,
isolating, but it and it is a burden
is a universal carried by only one
part of who we are
Benefits of Self-Compassion

BOOST HAPPINESS
INCREASE SELF-WORTH
IMPROVES BODY IMAGE
REDUCES STRESS
BUILDS RESILIENCE
3 Bipolar Subcomponents

1. Self kindness versus Self-Judgement

2. Mindfulness versus Over-Identification
3. Common humanity versus Isolation
THREE ELEMENTS OF SELF-COMPASSION

1 SELF-KINDNESS
VS.
SELF-JUDGEMENT
Be kind to yourself rather than evaluating
yourself.
THREE ELEMENTS OF SELF-COMPASSION

2 COMMON HUMANITY
VS.
ISOLATION
Recognize that you are not alone in your
struggles.
THREE ELEMENTS OF SELF-COMPASSION

3 MINDFULNESS
VS.
OVER-IDENTIFICATION
Take a balanced approach to negative
emotions.
Rewards of Self-compassion

happiness curiosity
optimism and exploration
positive effect agreeableness
wisdom conscientiousness
personal initiative extroversion
Self-Compassion is always availble to Us!!!

non-judgement
of self Mindfulness

Self
Kindness
seeing self
objectively

“We all make

mistakes.” Common
Humanity
“Unlike self-criticism,which asks if
your good enough,self-compassion
asks what's good for you?”
-Dr. Kristin Neff