FINANCIAL UNIVERSITY

UNDER THE GOVERNMENT OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION

Business Communication
for Success
Lesson 5
Moscow 2020
1
 Homework 5
1. Reading – Unit 8 «Communication and
perception»
2. Case
 “YOU- MESSAGES”

• You're wrong  
• You said that but you didn't mean it  
• You should do it this way
I Statements Used to express thoughts and feelings without
blame or judgment.
State the feeling and the problem behavior
• State the feeling and the problem behavior
“I feel_____when______.”
• State the effect the behavior has on you or others.
“Because _____________.”
• State what you want or need.
“I want/need_________.”
Example: “I feel annoyed when you don’t call me back because
I don’t know if you got my message. I need you to call me back
within a day.”
 Elements of an “I-Message”
1. Describe the problem
2. Discuss the effect that it is having on the
speaker’s life
3. Explain how the speaker feels about the
problem
4. Offer a solution
BASIC FORMAT
I feel . . . when . . . because . . . .
Extension 1
I feel . . . when you (do or don’t) . . . because I think . . . .
Extension 2
I felt . . . when . . . because I thought it meant . . . .
Extension 3
I feel . . . when . . . happens because I interpret it to mean that I am .
...
Extension 4
I felt … when you did … because I took it to mean that you thought I
was ….
“I’m concerned that we “You’re not doing your
may not finish this project share of the project.
on time. We might lose We’re not going to make
the customer’s business if our deadline, and we’ll
we don’t make our probably lose the
deadline. I’d really like for customer’s business
us to pull together, so we because of you”
can get this done on time”
 “I- MESSAGES” VS “YOU- MESSAGES”

• I-messages are a method for discussing a

problem with another person without making
accusations or starting an argument
• I-messages place the emphasis on how the
speaker feels
• Ideally, the receiver will recognize his
responsibility in prompting the speaker feel the
way she does and will make an effort to change
his behavior accordingly
 Rewording Using I Statements

• No, you're wrong. --> "I don't agree with that."

or "I'm not sure I agree with that."
• You said that but you didn't mean it. --> "I'm
having trouble believing it when you say …"
• You should do it this way. --> "If I were you, I
would do it this way, because..." or "I would
really like you to do it this way, because..." or "I
think this would be a better way to do it,
because..."
 CONFLICT SITUATION
Activity 6
"YOU" MESSAGE "I" MESSAGE

A father is upset because his daughter I don't sleep well when you get
often arrives home after her midnight "You better be in by 12:00 or else." home late because I worry about
curfew. your safety."

Sharon promises to return a book to you.

After a friendly reminder, she again    
forgets the book.

You have made a suggestion. Jerry

counters with a snide remark. You feel    
put down.

The chairman (Joe) is dominating the

   
meeting. You resent this.

Two of your Board members often show

up late. You are frustrated by the    
resulting meeting delay.

You are one of two females in a male

dominated group. You feel the group
tends to ignore you and not give serious    
consideration to your ideas. You wish to
get a certain item on the agenda.
Task. Complete the activity by responding to the
following “You”-statements (negative) with “I”-
statements
1. You shouldn’t feel like that.
2. You just need to get over it!
3. I can’t believe you feel that way.
4. You are so gullible. Why did you let this happen? 5.
You think you are never wrong. Take some
responsibility for what is happening to you.
6. You have made it a bigger deal than it really is.
7. Do you think you’re the only person this has
happened to?
 Task: Recognize the Ego-State?
  Ego-State
“Never talk to strangers”
“Always chew with your mouth closed”
“Look both ways before you cross the
street”
“When I saw the monster’s face, I felt really
scared”
“The clown at the birthday party was really
funny!
Conflict & Stress
 What is Conflict?
What words come to your mind when you hear
the word “conflict”?
Write these words down.
 “What is Conflict?”

friction between individuals due to differences of

opinions ideas beliefs values needs our objectives

A problem, tension, or struggle between opposing

forces

There is no single universally accepted

definition of conflict!
 Crises
Danger and Opportunity
The two Chinese characters displayed above
together mean “crisis”: one symbol is for
danger and the other opportunity.
Conflict can be understood the same way: both
as a danger and an opportunity.
Thus, conflict itself is not bad; it is what one
does with it that makes a difference
 What are the opportunities in these
situations?
1. Norm wants to go camping with his family, but his wife prefers to go to
Edmonton to the mall.
Opportunity: ____________________________________________________

2. Jill likes her job, but lately her boss has asked her to do things that are not
part of her job description. She finds the work hard and is very frustrated.
Opportunity: ____________________________________________________

3. You are tired of your friends coming over and making a mess, eating all
your food and then leaving.
Opportunity: ____________________________________________________

4. You and your partner have a custody conflict about your two children.
You both want them full-time.
Opportunity: ____________________________________________________
Think of a conflict that you have had in the past. What was the conflict?
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
Why did you have that conflict? (personality issue, misunderstanding, lack
of cooperation, etc.)
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
How did you respond to that conflict? (avoid the issue, yell at the person,
try to understand the other person’s point of view, etc.)
FUNCTIONS OF CONFLICT?
 FUNCTIONS OF CONFLICT?
• helps establish our identity and independence
• Intensity of conflict demonstrates the closeness
and importance of relationships
• can build new relationships
• can create coalitions
• serves as a safety-valve mechanism which helps to
sustain relationships
• Conflict creates or modifies rules, norms, laws and
institutions
Advantages and Disadvantages of conflict
Advantages and Disadvantages of conflict

Advantages Disadvantages
• Clarity-get your point • Hurt Feelings/Resentment
across • Effects Reputation
• Get Your Way Promotes Gossip/Rumors
Heard/Understood • People Remember The
• Control/Power/Influence/ Worst Behaviors Reduces
Fear Communication
• Respect/Empowerment • People Shut down
• Recognition • People Won’t Like You
• You Could Be The Winner! Anymore
What are the causes of conflict?
 What are the causes of conflict?
• Misunderstandings
• Personality clashes
• Competition for resources
• Authority issues
• Hurt feelings
• Lack of co-operation
• Differences of opinion
• Low performance
• Values or goal differences
• Cultural differences
 WHY CONFLICTS ARISE
People differ, so they:
· see things differently
· want different things
· have different thinking styles, which prompts them to disagree
· are predisposed to disagree
· have different personalities
· have different status
· have ideological and philosophical differences
· have different goals
· have different approaches
· are influenced by fear, force, fairness or funds
 Common Causes of Team Conflict
 Competing interests
 Different behavioral styles or preferences
 Competition over resources
 Failure to follow team norms
 Performance deficiencies
 Poor communication
 Ambiguity about means and ends
WHAT CAUSES DISPUTES AND CONFLICT?

• Data or information conflict

• Relationship conflict
• Value conflict
• Structural conflict
• Interest conflict
 ANALYZING A CONFLICT
1. Describe the conflict in one sentence.
2. What type of conflict is it? (internal, interpersonal. . .)
3. ISSUES: What are the sources of the conflict? (e.g., resources, values,
needs)
4. PARTIES: How many parties (different individuals or groups) are
involved in the conflict? List them.
5. RELATIONSHIP: Describe the relationship among the different parties
6. HISTORY: What is the history of the conflict? How long has the
conflict been going on? Is it recurring?
7. How serious is the conflict?
8. STYLES: How are the parties currently dealing with the conflict?
9. MANAGEMENT: What can the parties do to move toward ending the
conflict?
The Iceberg of Conflict
The Iceberg of Conflict
How well do You handle conflict?

How do You handle conflict?

Role Play “A difficult choice”
After each role play presentation, ask the “student actors”:
• How did you try to resolve the conflict?
• What did each of the people in your scenario really want?
• Is this a fair and realistic solution?

Ask the class:

• 1. Do you think the conflict was resolved in a positive way?
• 2. Which skills were used in the role play?
• 3. Can you think of other solutions?
 Objects of Conflict

1) Power
2) Status
3) Resourses
4) Values
 The types of conflicts
• Intrapersonal Conflict
• Interpersonal Conflict
• Intragroup Conflict
• Intergroup Conflict
 Types

Intrapersonal Conflict
The conflict that is happening inside of an individual is intrapersonal conflict. This type of
conflict takes place when there is an inconsistency in our ideas, attitudes, emotions or values.
Interpersonal Conflict
Interpersonal conflict is the conflict that takes place between individuals--friends, family
members, couples or even strangers. These types of conflicts usually take place when people
communicate directly with each other.
Intragroup Conflict
Conflict that occurs within a small group of people is intragroup conflict. These conflicts can
involve members of a family or workplace team and usually stem from individual differences
that end up affecting the entire group.
Intergroup Conflict
Intergroup conflict occurs between different groups. An example is the feud that occurred
between the Montagues and the Capulets in Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet." When conflict
is this large, it can often continue for many years and is extremely complicated to resolve.
 Internal Conflict
A struggle a character has within their mind or heart. Their
conscience. 
Example- Character vs Self

Character vs Self

A struggle a character
has with their mind
or heart- their conscience
 External Conflict

A struggle between two characters or outside

force

Examples:
- Character vs Character
- Character vs Society
- Character vs Nature
 Character vs Society

A struggle a character has between more than

one person, society, or culture
 Character vs Nature

A struggle a character has with an outside force

of nature
 Character vs Character

A struggle a character has with another

character
 Types of conflicts by reasons

• Relationship conflict
• Data conflict
• Interest conflict
• Structural conflict
• Value conflict
Model of conflict
Can you Avoid CONFLICT?
Five Styles of Conflict Management
 Read this statement
It is important to remember that we cannot
change anyone’s behavior except our own
We cannot change our friend’s behavior, our
partner’s behavior or our boss’s behavior
Sometimes, though, when we change our own
behavior, other peoples’ reactions change
 Q&A
1. What does this statement means? Is it true?

2. Can we change people’s behavior or not?

If not, what can we do to make things better in a
difficult situation?
• Avoiding. An unassertive, uncooperative approach
whereby a solution is delayed or avoided altogether.
Both sides might wait until they would find a better
solution or evade the situation
• Competing means stand up for your own rights and
defend what you believe is correct.
• Accommodating means that you yield to other's
points of view
• By Compromising both parties seek a better
solution in the middle ground as one gives to
another while one takes
• By Collaborating both sides are willing to cooperate
and listen to others
 Assertiveness
 is the quality of being self-assured and
confident without being aggressive. In the field
of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a skill that
can be learned and a mode of communication
Cooperation and Assertiveness
(cases)
 Situation A
Adriana believes she is the best cook in the school system. She always has to have
her way when it comes to food preparation. She complains bitterly to the manager
if anyone suggests she is not following the new recipes.

1. What is Adriana’s conflict resolution style?

a. Avoid
b. Accommodate
c. Compete
d. Compromise
e. Collaborate

2. Which of the following describes Adriana’s cooperation and assertiveness?

a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation A
Adriana believes she is the best cook in the school system. She always has to have her way
when it comes to food preparation. She complains bitterly to the manager if anyone suggests
she
is not following the new recipes.

1. What is Adriana’s conflict resolution style?

a. Avoid
b. Accommodate
c. Compete
d. Compromise
e. Collaborate

2. Which of the following describes Adriana’s cooperation and assertiveness?

a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation B
Maria has worked in foodservice for many years. This year the manager has
planned theme meals twice a month. Maria does not like to dress up, so
she calls in sick the days she is expected to dress for a theme meal.

1. What is Maria’s conflict resolution style?

a. Avoid
b. Accommodate
c. Compete
d. Compromise
e. Collaborate
2. Which of the following describes Maria’s cooperation and assertiveness?
a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation B
Maria has worked in foodservice for many years. This year the manager has
planned theme meals twice a month. Maria does not like to dress up, so
she calls in sick the days she is expected to dress for a theme meal.

1. What is Maria’s conflict resolution style?

a. Avoid
b. Accommodate
c. Compete
d. Compromise
e. Collaborate
2. Which of the following describes Maria’s cooperation and assertiveness?
a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation C
Jim is a new employee. He was unemployed for two years before accepting this job. He will do
any job he is asked to do without question. One of the long-term employees has told him he has
to wash all of the pots and pans. Even though Jim knows the cooks have to wash their own
pans,
he will wash them so that he doesn’t upset the cooks.

1. What is Jim’s conflict resolution style?

a. Avoid
b. Accommodate
c. Compete
d. Compromise
e. Collaborate

2. Which of the following describes Jim’s cooperation and assertiveness?

a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation C
Jim is a new employee. He was unemployed for two years before accepting this job. He will do
any job he is asked to do without question. One of the long-term employees has told him he has
to wash all of the pots and pans. Even though Jim knows the cooks have to wash their own
pans,
he will wash them so that he doesn’t upset the cooks.

1. What is Jim’s conflict resolution style?

a. Avoid
b. Accommodate
c. Compete
d. Compromise
e. Collaborate

2. Which of the following describes Jim’s cooperation and assertiveness?

a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation D
Sue has worked in many different types of foodservice operations. She loves her current job.
She knows how to do her job and will always help others who are behind. She is a wonderful
trainer for new employees because she understands the mission of the program. Whenever she
has a conflict with an employee, she considers that employee’s needs, abilities, and expertise and
tries to find a solution that benefits them mutually.

1. What is Sue’s conflict resolution style?

a) Avoid
b) Accommodate
c) Compete
d) Compromise
e) Collaborate

2. Which of the following describes Sue’s cooperation and assertiveness?

a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation D
Sue has worked in many different types of foodservice operations. She loves her current job.
She knows how to do her job and will always help others who are behind. She is a wonderful
trainer for new employees because she understands the mission of the program. Whenever she
has a conflict with an employee, she considers that employee’s needs, abilities, and expertise and
tries to find a solution that benefits them mutually.

1. What is Sue’s conflict resolution style?

a) Avoid
b) Accommodate
c) Compete
d) Compromise
e) Collaborate

2. Which of the following describes Sue’s cooperation and assertiveness?

a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation E

Henri is a chef with a restaurant background. He wants the school nutrition program to be
run more like a restaurant. He likes to have his way, but he also respects his manager. When
they disagree, he considers the manager’s opinions and tries to strike a bargain with her.
1. What is Henri’s conflict resolution style?
a) Avoid
b) Accommodate
c) Compete
d) Compromise
e) Collaborate

2. Which of the following describes Henri’s cooperation and assertiveness?

a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Situation E

Henri is a chef with a restaurant background. He wants the school nutrition program to be
run more like a restaurant. He likes to have his way, but he also respects his manager. When
they disagree, he considers the manager’s opinions and tries to strike a bargain with her.
1. What is Henri’s conflict resolution style?
a) Avoid
b) Accommodate
c) Compete
d) Compromise
e) Collaborate

2. Which of the following describes Henri’s cooperation and assertiveness?

a. High cooperation, high assertiveness
b. High cooperation, low assertiveness
c. Some cooperation, some assertiveness
d. Low cooperation, high assertiveness
e. Low cooperation, low assertiveness
 Some steps to help you resolve conflict at home, at
work and in other areas of your life

Step 1: Cool off

Step 2: Use “I messages”
Step 3: Retell the person what you heard
Step 4: Take responsibility
Step 5: Brainstorm solutions and come up with
one that satisfies both people
Step 6: Affirm, forgive, or thank
 Change the following statements
to “I messages”

1. You never clean up after yourself.

_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
2. You always make me late for work each morning.
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
3. You never listen to me when I am talking.
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
4. You make me mad when you insist on watching what you want on T.V.
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
 Elements of an “I-Message”
1. Describe the problem
2. Discuss the effect that it is having on the
speaker’s life
3. Explain how the speaker feels about the
problem
4. Offer a solution
BASIC FORMAT
I feel . . . when . . . because . . . .
Extension 1
I feel . . . when you (do or don’t) . . . because I think . . . .
Extension 2
I felt . . . when . . . because I thought it meant . . . .
Extension 3
I feel . . . when . . . happens because I interpret it to mean that I am .
...
Extension 4
I felt … when you did … because I took it to mean that you thought I
was ….
 Rewording Using I Statements

• No, you're wrong. --> "I don't agree with that."

or "I'm not sure I agree with that."
• You said that but you didn't mean it. --> "I'm
having trouble believing it when you say …"
• You should do it this way. --> "If I were you, I
would do it this way, because..." or "I would
really like you to do it this way, because..." or "I
think this would be a better way to do it,
because..."
 Some tips for collaborating and achieving a
win/win outcome
• Do not view the conflict as a contest you are trying to win
• Remain flexible and realize there are solutions yet to be discovered
• Distinguish the people from the problem (don’t make it personal).
• Determine what the underlying needs are that are driving the
other
• person’s demands (needs can still be met through different
demands)
• Identify areas of common ground or shared interests that you can
work from to develop solutions
• Ask questions to allow them to clarify and to help you understand
their perspective
• Listen carefully and provide verbal and nonverbal feedback
 Communication skills to avoid conflict

• Active Listening
• Open – ended questions
• Rephrase
• Reflect
• Summarize
• Non-judgmental
• Check body language
• Use “I” Statements (“I-messages”)
 Resolving Conflict
• Have a true desire to resolve the conflict
• The challenge is not the conflict but the way in
which you go about resolving it
• Identify the true problem
• Remember to focus on the problem not the
person
• Share to problem solving process and be
accepting of the best information regardless
whom might have shared it
 Assertive behavior
  vs
Aggressive behavior
 Activity 4. "Assertiveness Quiz"
INSTRUCTIONS: Review the listed responses to
the underlined situations:
(1) Choose those responses you frequently use.
(2) Categorize each response as either passive,
aggressive, martyr or assertive.
A. When I am disappointed or upset with someone, I usually:
1. don't say anything, because I'm afraid I'll hurt his feelings.
2. drop hints, hoping she will get the message.
3. put it off, because I'm unsure of what I should say.
4. confront him with "exactly how I feel."
5. express my feelings sarcastically--getting my point across indirectly through
humor.
6. whine and complain to others.
7. lecture her with "shoulds" and "oughts"
8. avoid saying anything, because I know it won't do any good. It will only lead to
more conflict
9. speak to the person privately, and express my concerns in a direct, but caring
manner
B. When someone asks me to do a favor and I don't want to do it, I usually:
1. do it anyway.
2. resent the request and act imposed upon.
3. make up excuses as to why I can't do it.
4. do it grudgingly, and complain to others.
5. apologize profusely, and tell her I'm not able to do it.
6. say "no," but allow myself to get talked into it.
7. in a respectful manner, firmly say "I'd rather not."
 Activity 4. "Assertiveness Quiz"
Several of the responses could be categorized
differently depending on how they were said.
Passive: A-l, A-2, A-3, A-8, B-1, B-3, B-5, B-6
Aggressive: A-4, A-5, A-7, B-2
Martyr: A-5, A-6, B-3
Assertive: A-9, B-7
 Activity 6
Write (a) passive, (b) aggressive, (c) martyr and (d)
assertive responses to each of the following situations.
1. Refuse an extra helping of food at a dinner party.
2. Get a group back on the subject after they have wandered
off on a tangent.
3. Control an excessive talker who is dominating the
discussion.
4. You have been interrupted, and wish to complete your
thought.
5. A second conversation has started up in the back of the
room and is distracting from the meeting.
 Key Takeaways
• Interpersonal conflict is an inevitable part of
relationships that, although not always negative, can
take an emotional toll on relational partners unless
they develop skills and strategies for managing
conflict
• Although there is no absolute right or wrong way to
handle a conflict, there are five predominant styles of
conflict management, which are competing,
avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and
collaborating
• Perception plays an important role in conflict
management because we are often biased in
determining the cause of our own and others’
behaviors in a conflict situation, which necessitates
engaging in communication to gain information and
perspective
• Culture influences how we engage in conflict based
on our cultural norms regarding individualism or
collectivism and concern for self-face or other-face
• We can handle conflict better by identifying patterns
and triggers such as demands, cumulative
annoyance, and rejection and by learning to respond
mindfully rather than reflexively
Role Play
 Polar Bear Ice Cream Company, Ltd

Company plans to introduce one of the following to

market next year:
a) Teddy bars: chocolate ice-cream on a stick
shaped like teddy bears to appeal to children
b) Multivitamin bars: A 10-fruit sherbet on a stick
with vitamins added for the health-conscious
c) Champagne-truffle bars: champagne-flavoured
ice-cream with a chocolate truffle coating to
appeal to adults
 Scenarios

1. Two people are trying to decide who will get to ride in the
front passenger seat of the car on a long trip
2. Two couples are going on vacation together. One wants to
go camping. The other wants to see the sites of the big city
3. Two people at work need to use the photocopier to get
their work completed. They both have a strict time limit.
4. Three members of the social committee at church that
works by consensus are in a disagreement over whether they
should have the barbeque catered or if they should have a
potluck
 Scenarios
Joni and Ben joined forces to start a business making
wooden hanging baskets. The gardening store in their
community is willing to buy every basket Joni and Ben
can make. Since Joni is saving money for university,
she is keen to ramp up their production and work full
throttle all spring and summer. Lately, Joni feels Ben
has been slacking off leaving her with the lion’s share
of the work. Ben feels he’s doing as much as he can,
but since he joined a new band his time is limited. Ben
still wants to be an active partner in the business
 Questions for after role play

1. What style was being used? (observers guess)

2. What were the clues observed to distinguish
the style?
3. How did you feel in the role play?
4. Was the style comfortable for you? Why or
why not?
5. What are the implications of the strategies or
styles that were used?
Critical Thinking Task
 Assertiveness Quiz

HOW ASSERTIVE ARE YOU?

 HOW ASSERTIVE ARE YOU?
• If your total is 60 or higher, you have a consistently assertive
philosophy and probably handle most situations well. 
• If your total is 45-60, you have a fairly assertive outlook. There are
some situations in which you may be naturally assertive, but you
should be able to increase your assertiveness through practice. 
• If you total is 30-45, you seem to be assertive in some situations
but your natural response is either nonassertive or aggressive. You
may want to change some perceptions and practice new behaviors
in order to handle things much more assertively in the future. 
• If your total is 15-30, you have considerable difficulty being
assertive. You need to practice and allow yourself time to grow and
change. You can become much more comfortable in situations
where asserting yourself is important.  
Case-study
 Discuss these questions
1
Psychology of
Public speaking
 Glossophobia
Fear of public speaking is known as
Glossophobia
Does Speaking in Public
Scare You?
“Conquering Fears of Speaking in Public”
Quiz
1. What one thing do more people fear than
any other?

a. Fear of death
b. Fear of speaking in public
c. Fear of snakes
d. Fear of heights
2. What is one reason people fear speaking
in public?

a. They think they will bore the audience.

b. They think people will laugh at them.
c. They worry about tripping on the way up to
the stage.
d. All of the above are fears of speaking in
public.
 3. Which of the following is not a
recommended step to reduce speech anxiety?

a. Learn to relax
b. Know the material
c. Turn nervousness into positive energy
d. Concentrate on yourself, not your message
 4. The two most important things that
professional speakers say are critical for a
successful presentation are preparation and
practice

TRUE or FALSE
 Guessing game
Percent of people who suffer
from speech anxiety
Percent of women who suffer
from speech anxiety
Percent of men who suffer from
speech anxiety
Number of Americans who have
a social phobia
Number of Americans who have
a fear of crowded or public
places
Percent of people who suffer
74 %
from speech anxiety
Percent of women who suffer
75 %
from speech anxiety
Percent of men who suffer from
73 %
speech anxiety
Number of Americans who have
5.3 Million
a social phobia
Number of Americans who have
3.2 Million
a fear of crowded or public places
Guess what percentage of Americans gave an affirmative answer,
that he was afraid ….

Snakes
Public speaking
Heihts
Being closed in small space
Spider and unsects
Mice
Flying on an airplane
Dogs
Thunder and lightning
 American Fears
(% saying “Yes, afraid”)
11
11
18
20
27
34
36
40
Snakes 51
0 10 20 30 40 50 60

Sample size = 1050

 Some fears that people have noted about
public speaking

• Boring the audience to sleep

• Burping uncontrollably
• Teeth chattering
• People laughing at them
• Tripping on the way up to the stage
• Others?
1. What other fears can you think of?
2. Are you surprised at all the things people fear
about public speaking?
3. What might you do to prevent some of these fears
from coming true?
4. What is at least one solution or problem-solving
technique for each fear we have listed?
5. What nervous symptoms have you had before or
while speaking in public?
Fear vs. Anxiety
 5. Name two skills that members can
achieve or enhance by giving demonstrations
at a club meeting
• Gain self-confidence
• Learn to speak before a group
• Increase knowledge about a project
• develop leadership skills
• Learn to organize materials in a logical sequence
• Develop skill in putting words and actions together
 Some tips for you to overcome public speaking anxiety

1. Organize your thoughts

2. Concentrate on the audience
3. Manage your breathing techniques
4. Practice makes perfect
5. Turn negative energy into positive energy
6. Nail the introduction
7. Study your voice
8. Connect with the audience
9. Forget about failure
10. Acknowledge your surroundings
 How should we start a presentation?

• Ask question
• Use a famous quotation
• Use a striking visual image
• Appeal directly to audience’s interests or
needs
Opening
 Opening
A problem or puzzle
A surprising fact or A story or anecdote
statistic A joke

Somebody
Well-known A popular
myth
A video Question
A photograph To raise their hand
or cartoon To talk to neighbour
A news headline
 KISS principle
K • Keep

I • It

S • Short

S • Simple
Toolbox of public speaking
 Persuasive Language Techniques

 Emotional appeal
 Descriptive language  
 Emotive language
 Inclusive Language  
 Alliteration (repetition)
 Persuasive Language Techniques

• Emotional appeal: Plays on peoples emotions, can manipulate the reader by

triggering an emotional response.
 
• Descriptive language: Words that are lively and vivid. Engage the reader by
inducing an emotion or producing a picture for them.
 
• Emotive language: Language that play's on peoples feelings. The deliberate
use of words to provoke an emotional response.
 
• Inclusive Language: Language that engages the audience and sounds friendly.
 
• Alliteration: Using the same letter to persuade by adding emphasis and
reinforcing the meaning. (ex. cruel, calculating and crooked)
Body language
 Body language

e c f a d b
 Impact techniques
• Rhetorical question
• Repetition of words
• Repetition of sounds
• Contrasts and opposites
• Groups of three (plus one)
• Combination of above
 Impact techniques
• Rhetorical question
• Repetition of words
• Repetition of sounds
• Contrasts and opposites
• Groups of three (plus one)
• Combination of above
 A rhetorical question
 is a figure of speech in the form of a question that is asked in
order to make a point. The question is used as a rhetorical
device, posed for the sake of encouraging its listener to
consider a message or viewpoint. For example, "Is the Pope
Catholic?" or "If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you do
it too?"
Though these are technically questions, they do not always
require a question mark. As a part of figures of speech, rhetoric
questions have its own importance in language and literature.
Though it might appear to be senseless and irrelevant, it
nevertheless helps make any conversation lively and funny. 
 A rhetorical question
 is a figure of speech in the form of a question that is asked in
order to make a point. The question is used as a rhetorical
device, posed for the sake of encouraging its listener to
consider a message or viewpoint. For example, "Is the Pope
Catholic?" or "If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you do
it too?"
Though these are technically questions, they do not always
require a question mark. As a part of figures of speech, rhetoric
questions have its own importance in language and literature.
Though it might appear to be senseless and irrelevant, it
nevertheless helps make any conversation lively and funny. 
• Video Obama
• Video L.Dicaprio
 Power language
• Amazing!
• Incredible!
• Unbelievable!
• Revolutionary!
• Huge!
Movie “Other People’s Money”
Dealing with Stress
 Some important facts about stress
43% of adults experienced adverse health effects from stress.
People with high stress are twice as likely to develop colds as those
with low stress
75-90% of visits to a physician's office are for stress-related
conditions and complaints
Stress has been linked to the six leading causes of death: heart
disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and
suicide
The United States National Institute of Occupational Safety and
Health has declared stress a hazard of the workplace
In the workplace, stress may be related to lost hours due to illness,
reduced productivity, and claims for worker's compensation
benefits
Quiz: Work-Life Balance
1. What are some healthy ways of dealing with
stress?
2. What are some unhealthy ways of dealing
with stress?
 Unhealthy Ways of Managing Stress

Drinking Smoking
Drugs Watching TV
Yelling Eating excessively
Gossiping Spending money
Arguing Buying things
Hitting Gambling
Fighting Becoming a loner
Healthy Ways of Managing Stress
1. Choose New Behaviors

2. Choose New Thoughts

 1. Choose New Behaviors
Resolve incomplete tasks. Take Breathe deeply
care of them now! Go for a walk
Keep your finances organized Go out on the land
Say "no" Go fishing
Relax Exercise
Meditate or pray for 10 Listen to uplifting music
minutes a day
Laugh
Watch a funny movie
Call a friend
Take a long bath
Work on a hobby (sewing,
Write in your journal
crafting, etc.)
Read a good book
Eat healthy food
 2. Choose New Thoughts

Visualize problems and Detach

troubles shrinking to a Reframe
manageable size
Visualize success
Take a mental vacation
Assume the best
Challenge negative beliefs
about yourself Face the fear
Focus on the positive Identify your hurt
Find the opportunity in the Forgive
problem
Evaluate – Will this matter one
year from now?

Trust a positive outcome

Any questions???

142
 Game
“COLLABORATIVE PROCEDURES FOR MANAGING CONFLICT”
CONTINUUM OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
APPROACHES
 COMPLETE THIS QUIZ AND SCORE YOUR
ANSWERS
We each have our own way of dealing with conflict. The techniques
we use are based on many variables such as our basic underlying
temperament, our personality, our environment and where we are
in our professional career. However, by and large there are five
major styles of conflict management techniques. In order to address
conflict we draw from a collaborating, competing, avoiding,
accommodating or compromising style of management.
None of these strategies is superior in and of itself. How effective
they are depends on the context in which they are used.
Each statement below provides a strategy for dealing with a conflict.
Rate each statement on a scale of 1 to 4 indicating how likely you are
to use this strategy. 1 = Rarely 2 = Sometimes 3 = Often 4 = Always
Be sure to answer the questions indicating how you would behave rather than how you
think you should behave.

1. I explore issues with others so as to find solutions that meet everyone’s needs.
2. I try to negotiate and adopt a give-and-take approach to problem situations.
3. I try to meet the expectations of others.
4. I would argue my case and insist on the merits of my point of view.
5. When there is a disagreement, I gather as much information as I can and keep
communication open.
6. When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very little and try to leave as soon as
possible.
7. I try to see conflicts from both sides. What do I need? What does the other person need?
8. I prefer to compromise when solving problems and just move on.
9. I find conflicts challenging and exhilarating; I enjoy the battle of wits that usually follows.
10. Being at odds with other people makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious.
11. I try to accommodate the wishes of my friends and family.
12. I can figure out what needs to be done and I am usually right.
13. To break deadlocks, I would meet people halfway.
14. I may not get what I want but it’s a small price to pay for keeping the peace.
15. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself.
 How to score the Conflict Management Quiz
As stated, the 15 statements correspond to the five conflict resolution styles. To
find your most preferred style, total the points in the respective categories. The
one with the highest score indicates your most commonly used strategy. The
one with the lowest score indicates your least preferred strategy.
However, if you are a leader who must deal with conflict on a regular basis, you
may find your style to be a blend of styles.
Calculate your style scores.
Style Corresponding Total
Statements

Collaborating 1, 5, 7
Competing 4, 9, 12
Avoiding 6, 10, 15
Accommodating 3, 11, 14
Compromising 2, 8, 13
My most preferred conflict management style is ____________.
Do I agree with this result? Why or why not?
 Conflict style quiz
We can handle conflict in different ways.
Answer these questions to get an indication of
your conflict management style.
1. You see one of your mates being picked on at lunchtime. Do you:
a) Go up to the bully and start a fight?
b) Talk to a teacher about the problem to try to sort it out?
c) Tell your friend to ignore it and they’ll probably stop?

2. You overhear a friend saying something bitchy and cruel about

you to another
student. Do you:
a) Pretend nothing happened?
b) Go up to them, push them hard and tell them to shut up?
c) Ask them to explain what they mean?
3. You have been rehearsing with your friends for a competition but you have
found out that they have had a rehearsal without you and don’t seem to want
you involved any more. Do you:
a) Speak to your friends and ask them why?
b) Tell them you’ve decided you don’t want to be in the competition anymore?
c) Turn up at a time you know they are rehearsing without you and demand to
know what is going on?

4. There is a new teacher in school who always seems to be making negative

comments about you which you do not think are fair or justified. Do you:
a) Confront the teacher during a lesson and tell him/her that they don’t know
what they’re talking about?
b) Ask to see them during a break time to discuss the problem?
c) Keep your head down and carry on working hard and hope they change
their opinion of you?
5. It is your best friend’s birthday party but you have
been grounded for the weekend for always leaving
your bedroom in a mess and coming in late. Do you:
a) Find something good to watch on TV?
b) Sneak out of the house anyway when no one is
looking?
c) Apologized, tidy up and promise to get in on time
in future. Explain how important the party is to you
and ask if you could stay in on a different day instead?
Use the grid below to add up your score then
check below to see what your
• confrontation style is.
 How did you score?
Mostly 1s: You tend to avoid problems and do nothing rather than
trying to sort problems out. This is very passive behavior. You must
value yourself and respect your own rights. Try to express your
opinions in an assertive way. Practice your skills!

Mostly 2s: Well done! You try to sort out conflicts in an assertive way.
You try to find solutions to problems and deal with things in a healthy
and positive way. You express your own opinions confidently but also
listen to others as well. Keep it up and don’t stop listening to others.

Mostly 3s: Be careful, as your way of dealing with problems can be

quite aggressive and you may harm others either verbally or physically.
There is more than one side to every argument and you must make
sure you always respect other people’s opinions and beliefs and don’t
shout them down.
Role Play
 Polar Bear Ice Cream Company, Ltd

Company plans to introduce one of the following to

market next year:
a) Teddy bars: chocolate ice-cream on a stick
shaped like teddy bears to appeal to children
b) Multivitamin bars: A 10-fruit sherbet on a stick
with vitamins added for the health-conscious
c) Champagne-truffle bars: champagne-flavoured
ice-cream with a chocolate truffle coating to
appeal to adults
 Scenarios

1. Two people are trying to decide who will get to ride in the
front passenger seat of the car on a long trip
2. Two couples are going on vacation together. One wants to
go camping. The other wants to see the sites of the big city
3. Two people at work need to use the photocopier to get
their work completed. They both have a strict time limit.
4. Three members of the social committee at church that
works by consensus are in a disagreement over whether they
should have the barbeque catered or if they should have a
potluck
 Scenarios
Joni and Ben joined forces to start a business making
wooden hanging baskets. The gardening store in their
community is willing to buy every basket Joni and Ben
can make. Since Joni is saving money for university,
she is keen to ramp up their production and work full
throttle all spring and summer. Lately, Joni feels Ben
has been slacking off leaving her with the lion’s share
of the work. Ben feels he’s doing as much as he can,
but since he joined a new band his time is limited. Ben
still wants to be an active partner in the business
 Questions for after role play

1. What style was being used? (observers guess)

2. What were the clues observed to distinguish
the style?
3. How did you feel in the role play?
4. Was the style comfortable for you? Why or
why not?
5. What are the implications of the strategies or
styles that were used?