Writing Effective Sentences
Writing Effective Sentences
CLARITY
ECONOMY
EMPHASIS
CLARITY:
The first requirement of a good sentence is clarity. Most failures in
clarity come from three sources:
1. from errors such as :
• confused pronoun reference
• omission of necessary words
• dangling modifier
• misplaced modifier
• inadequate punctuation
• • run-on
• • fragment
• faulty parallelism
2. from vague diction (the choice and use of words in speech or
writing)
3. from over involved sentence structure
1. Confused Pronoun Reference
A pronoun depends for its meaning up on its antecedent,
the noun or other pronoun to which it refers.
If the antecedents of the pronouns in your writing are
not clear, your writing will not be clear.
To avoid faulty reference of pronouns each pronoun
should refer to a single antecedent.
Pronouns can, of course, refer to compound antecedents
in such sentences as:
Daniel and Abel both believed they had performed well.
(Here, the pronoun they refer to Daniel and Abel.)
• However, if a pronoun can refer to either of two possible
antecedents, it will be ambiguous, and readers will not
know which antecedent intended.
Example
AMBIGUOUS
Arthur went with John to the airport, where he took a
plane to Phoenix.
[Who took the plane to Phoenix, Arthur or John?]
CLEAR
After going to the airport with John, Arthur took the plane
to Phoenix.
After Arthur went to the airport with him, John took the
plane to Phoenix.
2. Omission of necessary word
• A sentence will be confusing if the writer omits words
needed for clarity and accuracy. Sometimes, of course,
writers omit words through haste or carelessness. This sort
of omission can be caught with careful proof reading.
• Right: I admire her more than Solomon does.
• Meaning: I admire her more than I admire Solomon.
• (This was the meaning what the writer wanted to convey)
• ERROR I admire her more than Solomon ( ).
• [Because of the omission of the word does in the above
example, it could be ambiguous, i. e, it is not clear if the
writer wants to mean more than Solomon admires her? Or
more than the writer admires Solomon? ]
• Here what we have seen was how omission of a word can
affect the clarity of a sentence.
• Not only the omission of a word but also omission of an
apostrophe can affect the clarity of a sentence.
• Right: A lawyer’s income is greater than a doctor’s.
• MEANING: A lawyer’s income is greater than that of a doctor.
OR
• A lawyer has a greater income than a doctor has.
• ERROR A lawyer’s income is greater than a doctor ( ).
• [Because of the omission of the apostrophe -‘s in the above
example the comparison is illogical since it compares or
seems to compare two things
• (income to a doctor) that cannot be sensibly compared. But
actually logic requires the comparison of income to income or
of lawyer to doctor.]
• See how omission of an article can affect clarity of a
sentence.
• In writing, the student should not allow even careless
omissions of an article.
• In the following example, we will look how the writer’s
omission of an article altered the meaning of the
sentence.
Right: She has a black and a white dress.
MEANING: (two dresses, different colors)
(This was the meaning what the writer wanted to convey)
ERROR: She has a black and ( ) white dress.
MEANING: (one dress, two colors)
3. Dangling Modifiers
A dangling modifier is a phrase or clause which
says something different from what is meant
because words are left out.
It is not clearly and logically related to the words it
modifies.
A modifier that opens a sentence must be followed
immediately by the word it is meant to describe.
Dangling modifiers create confusion.
To avoid dangling modifiers, make sure that each
modifier has a clear antecedent.
Example
Dangling: Driving through the town, three lions were seen.
Correct: Driving through the town, Helen saw three lions.
Dangling: Flood damage was visible crossing the river.
• [The modifier makes it sound as though the flood damage was
crossing the river.]
Correct: Flood damage was visible as we cross the river.
Dangling: Taking the exam, the room was so stuffy that Paula almost
fainted. (Who took the exam? The answer is not room but Paula.
The subject Paula must be added.
Correct: Taking the exam, Paula found the room so stuffy that she
almost fainted.
There are two ways to revise dangling modifiers:
1. Add a word or words that the modifier clearly describes.
Place the new material just after the modifier.
Dangling: While watching television the cake burned.
Correct: While watching the television Sarah burned the
cake.
2. Change the dangling modifier to a subordinate clause.
Dangling: While watching television the cake burned.
Correct: While Sarah was watching television, the cake
burned.
4. Misplaced Modifiers
A misplaced modifier is simply a word, a phrase, or a
clause describing something, but not placed near enough
to the word it is supposed to modify.
Misplaced modifiers, because of awkward placement, do
not describe the words the writer intended to describe.
Often confuse the meaning of the sentence.
Example
Misplaced: I saw a dress in a magazine that cost $ 1200.
[Did the magazine or the dress cost $1200?]
Correct: In a magazine, I saw a dress that cost $ 1200.
Kinds of Misplaced Modifiers
i. Misplaced adjectives
These are incorrectly separated from the nouns they modify and
almost always distort the intended meaning.
Misplaced adjective: The child ate a cold dish of cereal for breakfast
this morning.
Correct: The child ate a dish of cold cereal for breakfast this morning.
ii. Placement of adverbs
Example:
Just Kasa was picked to host the program.
(Only Kasa was picked, no one else.)
Kasa was just to host the program. (Kasa was picked now.)
Kasa was to host just the program.
(Kasa hosted only the program, nothing else.)
Each of these sentences says something logical but quite different,
and its correctness depends upon what the writer has in mind.
iii. Misplaced phrases
Example
Misplaced phrase: They saw a fence behind the house made of
barbed wire.
Correct: They saw a fence made of barbed wire behind the house.
iv. Misplaced clauses
Misplaced clause: The waiter served a dinner roll to the woman that
was well buttered.
Correct: The waiter served a dinner roll that was well buttered to the
woman
To avoid misplaced modifiers in general, be sure to place the
modifier immediately before or after the word or words it
modifies, or
To avoid them, place words as close as possible to what they
describe.
Caution!
In correcting a misplaced modifier, don’t create a
sentence with two possible meanings.
Example: The teacher said on Monday she will return
our essay.
a. The teacher said she will return our essay on Monday.
(The essay will be returned on Monday.)
b. On Monday the teacher said she will return our essay.
(The teacher spoke on Monday.)
To Sum up
Here are some tips to help you avoid misplaced
modifiers:
Check to see if your modifiers are close to the subject
they are referring to.
Be careful with the placement of limiting modifiers
(almost, even, hardly, just, merely, nearly, and simply).
These modifiers must be placed right next to the words
they modify.
Check to see if modifiers that describe verbs are close to
the verbs.
5. Errors in Punctuation
A. Sentence Fragment
• A sentence fragment is a sentence that is missing either
its subject or its main verb.
• Some sentence fragments occur as the result of simple
typographical errors or omission of words. They can
often be avoided with careful proofreading.
Incorrect: Went to the store yesterday.
Incorrect: After the classes, the library. My life nowadays.
• The first sentence above does not have a subject, and the
second one does not have a main verb.
Rule to Remember
• A sentence fragment is a sentence that is missing either
its subject or its main verb.
Two clauses: Students dislike Mr. Jones because his classes can be tough.
Since you drew the short straw, you must walk to the
Three clauses:
gas station while we stay here.
• The easiest way to count the number of
clauses in a sentence is to count the number of
verbs, then find their corresponding subjects.
Phrase fragments
Since I was done with the exam, I put my pen and paper
Incorrect:
down. Waiting for the teacher to start collecting papers.
Since I was done with the exam, I put my pen and paper
Correct:
down, waiting for the teacher to start collecting papers.
I was done with the exam; I put my pen and paper down and was
Correct:
waiting for the teacher to start collecting papers.
Subordinate clause fragments
Since you drew the short straw. You must walk to the gas
Incorrect:
station while we stay here.
• This type of sentence fragment occurs because
the subordinate clause is separated from the
main clause and cannot stand on its own.
• Two clauses can be combined using a
subordinating conjunction or an adverb to show
the dependence of one clause on the other.
Rule to Remember
• Correct sentence fragments by joining two
fragmented parts with either a conjunction or an
adverb.
Correct: Students dislike Mr. Jones because his classes can be tough.
Since you drew the short straw, you must walk to the gas
Correct:
station while we stay here.
B. Run-on sentences
• The term run-on sentence labels an error with several different names, the
most common being fused sentence and comma splice.
i. Fused sentence - refers to the error of two independent clauses put together
without any separating punctuation or linking device between them.
Example
(The last four sentences in the examples given above are fused sentences)
The witness was unwilling to testify, he was afraid of the accused man.