HARMONY IN THE FAMILY
AND SOCIETY
Unit 3
HARMONY IN THE
FAMILY AND SOCIETY
• Harmony in the Family Basic Unit
of Human Interaction
• ‘Trust’ Foundational Value in
Relationship
• ‘Respect' - as the Right Evaluation
• Other Feelings, Justice in Human-
to-Human Relationship
• Understanding Harmony in the
Society
• Vision for the Universal Human
Order.
Reference
• https://hvpenotes.blogspot.com/2017/01/chapter-
viii-harmony-in-family.html
Harmony in the Family –
the Basic Unit of Human Interaction
Harmony in the Family
• Understanding harmony in the family
• Family is the basic unit for human
interaction.
• Growing up in a happy family leads to
success and adjustment in life.
• Understanding family relationships and
their importance.
• Family relationship is about unity and
connection
• Importance of trust and relationships in
family harmony
• Recognizing and fulfilling mutual
happiness in family relationships
• Understanding harmony in family
relationships.
Harmony in the Family
• The family is the basic unit or building block of human
organisation
• The major issue in the family is relationship…
fulfilment in relationship
• To live in relationship, for fulfilment in relationship, it
is essential to understand relationship
• Without understanding relationship, it isn’t possible to
fulfil relationship…
• e.g., Not speaking to each other… for days…
opposition, etc.…
Relationship
• We explored the question “Can we live in a relationship
without understanding the relationship?”
• A right understanding of relationships is necessary for
fulfillment in a relationship
• We also explored whether "the unhappiness in our families is
more due to lack of physical facility or more due to lack of
fulfillment in a relationship?”
• The major issue in the family is that of relationship; physical
facility (and body) is used as a means
• Mother must take care of the child, based on the self or body
Relationship
• If we consider a human being to be a body, it is not possible
to understand a relationship; and without understanding a
relationship, it is not possible to fulfill a relationship, even
though we do want to fulfill a relationship.
• We are trying to assume relationships based on body and
trying to fulfill relationships based on body, and it does not
work, despite all good intentions
• In this module, we explore into relationship with the basic
clarity that a human being is the co-existence of self and body
Human Being
• Human Being is the co-existence of Self and Body
• The Self is central to human existence
• The Body is used as an instrument by the Self
• The need of the Self is continuous happiness. For this, the
program of the Self is:
at all levels of being
1. As an individual human being
• To understand harmony and 2. As a member of the family
3. As a member of society
• To live in harmony 4. As a unit in nature/existence
• The need of the Body is a physical facility
• It is required for the nurturing, protection, and right utilization of
the Body
Family
• The family is the next larger order – it is the basic unit or
building block of human organization
• In the family, there are parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters,
children, old people, uncles, aunts, cousins; and so many
relatives and friends…
• Our basic grooming for living in a relationship begins in
the family
• The major issue in the family is that of relationship
• To live in a relationship, it is essential to understand the
relationship
• Without understanding the relationship, isn’t possible to
fulfil the relationship…
• e.g., Not speaking to each other… for days… opposition,…
Cont.
• Is relationship Important?
• Really? Then why do we stop talking with each other for days and
weeks?
• So, is ego more important than relationship?
• We do want to live in a relationship but if we consider human
beings to be bodies, it is not possible to understand the relationship
• Without understanding the relationship, it is not possible to fulfill
the relationship, even though we do want to
• i.e., if we are trying to assume a relationship based on the body
and trying to fulfill a relationship based on the body, it does not
work, despite all good intentions
Relationship
These are the four aspects of understanding about
relationship
1. Relationship is – between oneself (I1) and another self (I2)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in oneself (I 1) for the
other self (I2)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9
Feelings)
4. Their fulfilment, and evaluation lead to mutual happiness
We will explore each of these aspects one by one
1. Relationship is
• We are related to each other – whether we understand it or not
• The relationship is already there, we only need to understand it
• When we understand relationship
• We can see that relationship is there
• We can accept the relationship and
• think in terms of fulfilling the relationship
• When we don’t understand it, the relationship is still there but:
• We are not able to see the relationship
• We are not able to accept the relationship and therefore
• We are not able to fulfill the relationship
1. Relationship is – between oneself (I1)
and other self (I2)
• Of course, the relationship is between one human being and
another human being
• Now if you look at the human being,
• who is recognizing the relationship – the self or the body?
• who is having feelings in the relationship – the self or the body?
• The Self is playing a central role in recognizing the
relationship… and fulfilling the relationship
• So, in that sense,
• Relationship is between oneself (I 1) and other self (I2)
• The body is used as an instrument in expressing – as an when
required
Harmony in the Family
1. Relationship is – between oneself (I1) and another self (I2)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in oneself (I1) for the other self (I2)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfilment, evaluation leads to mutual happiness
Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust FOUNDATION VALUE 6- Reverence
2- Respect 7- Glory
3- Affection 8- Gratitude
4- Care 9- Love COMPLETE
5- Guidance VALUE
2. There are Feelings in Relationship
– in oneself (I1) for the other Self (I2)
• Feelings are fundamental to relationship
• Feelings play a central role in relationship
Check if feelings are of significance in relationship
• These feelings are in the Self (not in the Body)
Check if feelings are in the self or body?
• We can understand these feelings only when we understand the Self
• If we do not understand the Self, we do not understand the feelings… nor the
relationship
• And when we do not understand relationship, we are unable to fulfil the
relationship
• The major crisis we are facing in relationship today is because of the failure to
understand the Self… and the feelings in the Self
• We are trying to assume relationship on the basis of Body and trying to fulfill
relationship on the basis of Body; and it does not work, in spite of all good
intentions
3. These feelings can be recognized
– they are definite (9 Feelings)
• We can recognize them, investigate them and understand that they are
naturally acceptable to us in relationship with the other human being
• These are the 9 feelings
1- Trust FOUNDATION 6- Reverence
VALUE 7- Glory
2- Respect 8- Gratitude
3- Affection 9- Love COMPLETE
4- Care VALUE
5- Guidance
• Are these feelings naturally acceptable to you?
• Are these feelings naturally acceptable to the other? … to everyone?
3. These feelings can be recognized
– they are definite (9 Feelings)
• Each of us can investigate if these feelings are naturally
acceptable to us or not
What is naturally acceptable to you?
Feeling of trust or mistrust, opposition?
Feeling of respect or disrespect?
Feeling of affectionor jealousy?
Feeling of care or exploitation?
Feeling of guidance or misguidance, confusion?
Feeling of reverence or irreverence?
Feeling of glory or inglorious feelings?
Feeling of gratitudeor ingratitude?
Feeling of love or hatred?
3. These feelings can be recognized
– they are definite (9 Feelings)
• Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust FOUNDATION VALUE 6- Reverence
2- Respect 7- Glory
3- Affection 8- Gratitude
4- Care 9- Love COMPLETE
5- Guidance VALUE
• Are these feelings naturally acceptable to you?
• Are these feelings naturally acceptable to the other? … to
everyone?
4. Their fulfilment, evaluation leads to mutual
happiness
Understanding Relationship
These feelings are naturally acceptable to me.
Therefore when I have these feelings, I
am happy
Acceptance of Relationship
They are naturally acceptable to the other
also. Thus, when I share these feelings
with the other, it leads to happiness of the Feeling of Relationship
other… it leads to mutual happiness
Happiness in Me
Find out
If you feel happy when you have these feelings
(like trust, respect…) in you?
If the other feels happy when you express Sharing the Feeling with Other
feelings like trust, respect… to the other?
Can you see that (through Body, as and when required)
The absence of one or more of these feelings
leads to problems in relationship?
Recognition/Evaluation of Feeling
Physical facility can not compensate for lack of
feelings? (It is definitely required for the Body) Happiness in Other
[try to observe what happens to you when the
other ignores you, contradicts you, opposes
you…] Mutual Happiness
Analysis of Current Situation
• If I do not have these feelings, I am unhappy
• (I do not have these feelings if I have not understood the Self, not
understood relationship, not understood the feelings in relationship)
• If I do not have these feelings in me, I try to get them from the other in
so many ways
• (agree with the other, do their bidding, wear fashionable clothes, get a
special haircut, climb a mountain peak, etc.)
• If the other expresses right feelings to me, I am “happy”
• If the other does not express right feelings to me, I am “unhappy”
• If the other also does not have these feelings, then s(he) is also trying to
get these feelings from me!
• (It is like we are begging for feelings from each other – and our bowls
are empty!)
The Way Forward
• The most fundamental thing in relationship is to understand these feelings.
If I understand these feelings, then I have these feelings in me
• If I understand the feeling of respect, I have feeling of respect in me
• If I have feeling of respect, I am comfortable (in harmony) within myself. I
am happy
• When I have the feeling of respect within, I naturally express it to the other.
This feeling is naturally acceptable to the other… it makes the other also
happy
• In this way, understanding the feeling, having the feeling, expressing the
feeling and its right evaluation (by both) leads to mutual happiness
• Right evaluation is required to verify
• whether I have these feelings or not
• whether I have expressed these feelings to the other or not
• whether it has reached to the other or not… and ultimately
• whether the result is mutual happiness or not
Harmony in the Family
1. Relationship is – between oneself (I1) and another self (I2)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in oneself (I 1) for the other self (I2)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfillment, and evaluation lead to mutual happiness
Right Understanding
Feelings in relationship:
Right Feeling
1- Trust FOUNDATION VALUE 6- Reverence
2- Respect 7- Glory
3- Affection Fulfilment in Relationship
8- Gratitude – Mutual Happiness
4- Care 9- Love COMPLETE VALUE
5- Guidance;
Harmony in the Family
From the next lecture, we can start exploring each of these feelings one by one…
Harmony in the Family
1. Relationship is – between oneself (I 1) and another self (I2)
2. There are feelings in a relationship – in oneself (I 1) for the other self (I 2)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfilment, and evaluation leads to mutual happiness
Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust FOUNDATION 6- Reverence
VALUE 7- Glory
2- Respect 8- Gratitude
3- Affection 9- Love COMPLETE
4- Care VALUE
5- Guidance;
From the next lecture,
we can start exploring each of these feelings one by one…
