Style and Tone of Business Messages and

Documents
 Objectives
• To render a professional tone in business messages
• To develop a technical style of writing messages
• To develop the judicious audience-centric style of writing messages
• To understand the subtle nuances of the English language
Business Messages

Style Tone
 What is style in business messages?
The writer’s selection of words, phrases, and
sentence types render a certain writing style to a
message.
 Tone in Business Messages
• What is tone?
• Tone refers to the writer’s intention towards the reader.
 The Story of four men:
Once upon a time, there were four men named Everybody, Somebody, Nobody, and
Anybody. Whenever there was an important job to be done,

Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Everybody got angry because it was Everybody’s job.

Everybody thought Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized nobody would do it.

So consequently, Everybody blamed Somebody that when nobody did Anybody could
have done in the first place.
 Role of 7 Cs in Business Messages
1. Clarity
2. Conciseness
3. Completeness
4. Correctness
5. Consideration
6. Concreteness
7. Cordiality
 Be Clear
For effective technical communication, words should be impactful, plain,
familiar, and comprehensible to the receiver. Let us look at a few examples:
1. Use plain and familiar words
a. The executive officer provides the exiguous meeting details, so the boss
reprimands the executive officer.
Revised: The executive officer provided inadequate/insufficient meeting details,
and the boss scolded the executive officer.
2. Antiquated machinery is utilised for experimentation.
• Revised: Old machinery is used for experimentation.
3. In lieu of commencing our project, we need to consolidate our goals and intents
beforehand.
Revised: We need to delay the project because we have to discuss our goals first.
Use Plain words
Instead of: ✔️Use:
Deem Believe
Encounter Meet
Equitable Fair
Implement Start
Leverage Use
Limited number Few
Magnitude Size
Assistance Help
Commence Start
Prior to Before
Notify Tell
Promulgate Issue
Remuneration Payment
Comply with Follow
Convene Meet
Endeavor Try
Delineate Define
Indicate Show
Modification Change
 Avoid Using Commonly Confused Words
The English language has influences from the languages Latin, French,
Greek, German, and Spanish. It has resulted in many oddities in the
English language and you have to accept the way it is.
1. Wow! The presentation was bombastic.
2. I liked her knew sweater. I new she would wear that sweater today.
3. I could have applied for the job accept the salary is too less.
4. The rise in prices of everyday goods has effected the budget of low-
income group people.
 Avoid using ambiguous words
An ambiguous sentence has two or more possible meanings within a
single sentence or sequence of words. This can confuse the reader and
make the meaning of the sentence unclear
1. The giant plant collapsed many buildings.
2. The bimonthly project report submission has been due for over a
month.
3. Look at this example sentence: ‘Mr Smith was found guilty of keeping
a protected animal in the Atherton Magistrates Court after being charged
with removing a scrub python from a resident's property.’

Corrected: In the Atherton Magistrates Court, Mr Smith was found guilty

of keeping a protected animal, a scrub python, after removing it from a
resident's property.’
Cont.

• Pronouns
• When you use a pronoun (e.g. ‘it’, ‘they’ ‘he’ ‘she’) always be sure that the reader knows what noun
you are referring to.

• Example: The dog liked to guard the house and the postman could not make it to the door because he
was barking viciously.

• Corrected: The postman could not make it to the door because the dog liked to guard the house and
was barking viciously.

• Determiners
• When you use a determiner (e.g. ‘this’, “that’ ‘those’ ‘these’) always be sure that the reader knows
exactly what you are referring to.

• Example: There is a bird in a cage that can talk.

 Form Grammatically Correct Sentences
Misplaced Modifiers

1. The Girl was walking the dog on the phone.

2. The mother went to Delhi to sell off her flat along with her son.
3. For Sale, piano, the property of a musician, with carved legs.
4. A gentleman has a dog to sell who wishes to go abroad.
5. Sometimes you will see an alligator lying in the sunshine on the bank eight feet long.
6. He visited the battlefield where Napoleon was defeated in his holidays.
7. He killed the sparrow which was eating some crumbs with a gun.
8. The constable said that the prisoner seizing a bolster full of rage and fury had knocked the prosecutor down.

(Suggested Reading: High School Grammar Composition by Wren and Martin)

 Dangling Modifiers
• Writing carefully, the essay was finished in time to hand in.
• At the age of four, my grandmother taught me to knit.
• Crowded in the car, the trip was uncomfortable.
 Construct Sentences in Plain English

1. Company operations for the preceding accounting period terminated

with a substantial deficit.
Revised: The Company faced a loss last year.
2. The boss told Mr Sharma that she would like to let go of him.
3. She is behaving erratically as she is between jobs.
 Eliminating Clichés and Euphemisms
• Cliches: Familiar and repetitive phrases that have lost their novelty due to overuse.
• For Example: ‘We’re Like A Family’, ‘Putting People First’, ‘Innovative Solutions’, ‘Cascade
The Information’, ‘The Leading …’, food for thought, last but not the least, fishing in troubled
waters.

• Euphemisms: An indirect and polite way to not sound direct or offensive.

• For example: He has left for his heavenly abode.

• She is between jobs.

• Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.”

 Avoid the use of clichés
1. The report discusses threadbare the problem of air pollution in
India.
• The report discusses the problem of air pollution in India in detail.
2. The engineers left no stone unturned to construct the bridge in
time.
• The engineers worked systematically to construct the bridge on time.
 Be Concise
1. Pruning the redundant
• Avoid saying the same thing twice.
Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school continue to
vote for better schools.
2. A phrase that repeats itself—like “true fact” (fact), “twelve noon
(noon),” or “I saw it with my own eyes”(I saw it or I saw it happen)—is
sometimes called a pleonasm.
Examples: added bonus, exact replica, foreign imports, free gifts, frozen
ice, regular routine, unexpected surprise, past history.
 Reducing Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to
Single Words
• Be alert for clauses or phrases that can be pared to simpler, shorter
constructions. The “which clause” can often be shortened to a simple
adjective.
a. Smith College, which was founded in 1871, is the premier all-
women’s college in the United States.
a. Founded in 1871, Smith College is the premier all-women’s college in
the United States.
b. Citizens who knew what was going on voted him out of office.
b. Knowledgeable citizens voted him out of office.
 Phrases You Can Omit
• Avoid using phrases that add nothing to the meaning of a sentence.
1. As a matter of fact
2. By means of
3. In my opinion
4. At the present time
 Abbreviated Redundancies
• HIV
• CD
• CPU
• ATM
 Intensifiers that Don't Intensify
• Avoid using words such as really, very, quite, extremely, severely when
they are not necessary.
 Avoiding Expletive Constructions
• There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire
to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who
stand to gain the most from the government grant.
• Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend the
program next summer. They and their parents stand to gain the most
from the government grant.
 Be economical with words
1. This is to inform you that I am interested in applying for the position of Junior
Engineer. (17 words)
I am interested in applying for the post of Junior Engineer. (11 words)

2. I am truly the best choice among all the candidates because I qualified Bachelor
of Technology in Mechanical Engineering with a really excellent CGP of 7.8. Also,
besides the core B. Tech course in Mechanical Engineering, I quite a bit was
motivated to pursue several technical courses to enhance my skills and knowledge.
When I was pursuing the Bachelor of Technology in Mechanical Engineering
program, I undertook software languages courses in Java, and Python to
strengthen my technical skills. And now, I believe that my knowledge and
experience make me a suitable candidate for this post.
 Be Clear and Concise

• Complex: Air transportation features speed of delivery in ways few other forms

of transportation can match, including tractor-trailer and rail, and is readily

available to the individual consumer and the corporate client alike.

• Clear: Air transportation is accessible and faster than railroad or trucking.

 Example

1. In this day and age air transportation by air carrier is the clear winner

over alternative modes of conveyance for speed and meeting tight

deadlines.

Revised: Today’s air transportation is faster than other methods.

 Be Concrete
Concrete words Abstract words
• Specific • General
• Limited interpretation • Ambiguous
• Forceful • Vague
• Digress from the point
• Direct and to the point
• e. g. many, a few, some, bad, big
e.g. 20%, 10 tables, . Quite a few students opt for the
2 Day Workshop, 100 sq mt elective courses.
There is a slim chance for him to get a
job.
Sakshi did fairly well in her last
semester exam.
He was quite a bit reluctant to share the
details of his meeting with the boss.
 Be Concrete
A. The company suffered a tremendous loss in the first quarter of the
last year.
Revised: In the 2022 April quarter, a 20% loss in profits is calculated.
B. The smell of the coffee is good.
Revised: The aroma of the coffee is refreshing.
 Be Considerate
Avoid negative replies
1. I cannot help you with the assignment.
Revised: I am not too sure, but I will try my level best.
2. I cannot guide you.
Revised: I am a bit busy with my work schedule. If it’s okay with you, I
can help you after an hour.
3. I cannot talk with you right now.
Revised: I would like to get back to you soon.
Construct Questions to know others’
opinions
1. We should redesign the company logo!
• Shouldn’t we redesign the company logo?
2. We must hire a new advertising agency.
• Couldn’t we hire a new advertising agency?
• Wouldn’t it be better to hire a new advertising agency?
 Avoid the excessive use of Jargons

• He is asking for a glass of dihydrogen oxide.

 To use Acronyms and Abbreviations
sparingly
• Follow the following tips while using acronyms:
• Introduce acronyms the first time you use them by defining them in full,
parenthetically. WHO (World Health Organization), IAF(Indian Air
Force)
• Do not use acronyms related to the technical field when communicating
with individuals from different fields.
For example: A meaningful sentence follows SVO order.
• Restrict the number of acronyms in individual sentences.
• Define the acronyms in a separate list if several potentially confusing
acronyms are being used.
 Abbreviations
• Do not abbreviate words at the beginning of the sentence.
• Do not abbreviate proper nouns.
• The rule varies as a matter of style (MLA/ APA).
• Abbreviations that include the last letter of the word being shortened do not
take a period. For example, Dr ( Doctor), Mr (Mister) but exceptions to this
rule is Prof.( Professor) and Col. (column),
• Do not use phonic abbreviations like ‘u’ for ‘You’.
 Business Tone
1. Use “ You Approach” judiciously
2. Learn the judicious use of voice in a sentence whether active or
passive to get the desired response.
3. Use gender-neutral language
4. Be Confident
 The Judicious use of “ You”
1. We will send your order soon.
• Revised: You will receive your order by tomorrow.
2. The project report was submitted on time by you.
• Revised: You submitted the project report on time.
3. We will respond to you immediately.
• Revised: You will get a response immediately.
When not to use the “You”
pronoun. . .
1. You have missed to acquire sales target of second quarter.
• Revised: The sales target has not been acquired of second quarter.
2. You have not mentioned the important details of job profile.
• Revised: The important details of job profile have not been mentioned.
3. You have delayed my order.
• My order has been delayed or I am yet to receive my order.
Cont . . .
• You have broken my computer!
• My computer has been broken!
• You said you were going to sign the deal today.
• It was understood that you were going to sign the deal today.
• You agreed to lower your fees.
• It was agreed that you were going to lower your fees.
 Use of active voice and passive voice
1. Our implementation of the new procedure is required by the board of
directors.
• The board of directors requires us to implement this new procedure.
2. My first visit to your organization will always be remembered.
• I will always remember my first visit to your organization.
3. From these findings it is indicated that none of you has notified me.
• These findings indicate that none of you has yet notified me.
4. A weekly meeting is recommended as a way to reduce problem generated
within the Training Division.
• We recommend a weekly meeting as a way to reduce problem generated within
the Training Division.
 Use Gender Neutral language
1. Salutation:
Dear Sir/mam
2. Job Title:
 Chairman/ Chairwoman/ Chairperson
3. Phrases that imply gender:
 Executives and their spouses
4. Masculine pronouns:
Each student must provide his/her lab jacket.
 Which is a persuasive statement?
1.
a. You must agree that I am qualified for the position.
b. My qualifications make me suitable for this job.
c. My qualifications in the field of electrical engineering meet your job
requirements.
2.
a. I think I can handle the position of responsibility.
b. In the past, I have held the position of responsibility so I believe I would be
able to.
c. In my college’s cultural fest, I was the cultural secretary.
 Points to remember
1. Try to remain as professional and conversational as possible.
2. Active voice makes one’s writing direct, forceful and accurate
whereas passive voice makes it lengthy and vague.
3. To make the writing livelier and direct, avoid passive voice.
4. Avoid using text message language such as ASAP, LOL, etc.
5. Avoid the use of contractions such as don’t, ma’am, won’t etc.
 To Write Meaningful sentences
• Word Order
• According to English grammar rule:
• Subject comes before the verb which comes before the object.
• Most of the sentences conform to Subject Verb Object(SVO).
• At the beginner’s level, do adhere to this rule, this may help you to improve.

• a. I (S) am reading (V) a book (O).

• b. They (S)play(V) cricket(O).
• c. Do you (S) have (V) a pencil(O)?
 Types of Sentences

• Declarative – You are invited to join us for lunch.

• Imperative – Kindly join us for lunch.

• Interrogative – Would you like to join us for lunch?

• Exclamatory – What a lovely lunch it was!

 Sentences Types on the basis of Structure
• Simple Sentences
• Compound Sentences
• Complex Sentences
 Simple Sentence

1. Simple sentence. A simple sentence is a sentence that consists of just one independent

clause.

Sales have increased.

Sales and profits continue to grow.

The company recovered and made profit.

 Compound Sentences
Two independent clauses are joined by coordinate conjunctions.
The acronym for coordinate conjunctions: “ FANBOYS”
The company revived from the loss, so the foreign investors have
increased their share in the company.
• A= And S=So
• N= Nor
• B=But
• O= Or
F stands for = For (Reason)

• e.g.: I went to the market, for my mother wants sugar.

b. A stands for= And (Addition)

• e.g.: I went to the market, and my mother went to watch a movie.

c. N stands for = Nor (Negative)

• e.g.: Ram doesn’t like to eat sugar, nor do I like to eat sugar.

d. B stands for = But (contrast)

• e.g. He is uneducated, but he is wise.

e. O stands for= Or (option)

• e.g. You can select to do higher studies, or you can pursue family business.
f. Y stands for- Yet (concession)

• She faces lot of problems in her life, yet she is always smiling.

g. S stands for= So (reason)

• e.g. My mother wanted sugar, so I went to the market.

 Complex Sentences

• A complex sentence has an independent clause and a dependent

clause.

• Subordinate conjunctions join the two clauses.

Sales have topped the charts because the sales staff worked hard.
 Why is the given sentence vague?

• Vague – We can facilitate solutions in pursuit of success by leveraging

our core strengths.

• Specific – By using our knowledge, experience, and capabilities, we

can achieve the production targets for the coming quarter.

 Note the difference in the tones of
the given messages
1. There will be a delay in the completion of the project.
There might be a slight delay in the completion of the project.

2. This is to inform you that I will be on leave.

I regret to inform you that I will be on leave

3. For any inquiry, please contact at the given number: xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 We are always there to answer your queries at xxxxxxxxxxx
 Change in the tone of the
messages
1. We are having problems with the new product. ()
1. We are having one or two problems with the new product.
2. We will run over budget.
2. We might run slightly over budget.
3. The marketing campaign is behind schedule.
3. The marketing campaign is a little bit behind schedule.
 Avoid Writing fragmented Sentences

• Fragments – Although air transportation is fast. Costs more than

trucking.

• Complete – Although air transportation is fast, it costs more than

trucking.
 In sentences more than two verbs
• We usually put the adverb after the first verb which is the finite verb. To
recall, a finite verb is the main verb in the sentence that directly relates to
the subject of the sentence.

a. I like (Finite verb) a lot (Adverb), when it rains (verb) in the

morning(Adverb of time).

b. You may speak (Finite verb) slowly (Adverb) to the judge when he asks(Verb) you

to.
 Exercises
Considering the aspects of style and tone in business messages, rewrite the
following sentences:
1. You cannot explain the situation well.
2. I cannot help you.
3. You have mishandled the product so we cannot do anything about it.
4. We cannot hire you.
6. The pizza Radha burnt
7. To the Mughlai restaurant we had to go for the dinner.
8. You have the report?
9. The presentation was good.
 Answers
1. You cannot explain the situation well. ( The second person “you” sounds harsh and rude at
the beginning of a sentence)
1. The situation is not explained well. (changed the emphasis from the subject to the action:
passive voice)
2. I cannot help you. (The personal pronoun sounds blunt and direct without a buffer
statement)
2. I am afraid, I don’t know about this. Or, As I have to complete this assignment, if it’s okay
with you, I can help you after a while. (be indirect)
3. You have mishandled the product so we cannot do anything about it. (The second person
“you” sounds blaming)
3. According to the company’s policy, we don’t replace damaged goods. (be polite in negative
situations)
4. We cannot hire you. (it sounds rude to be direct in negative messages)
4. We have recruited, but we have kept your resume for consideration in future. (be indirect)
5. My motivation helped you to get a job. (The possessive pronoun sounds arrogant and
insincere)
5. You have been motivated to achieve your goal since the beginning of your college years. (The
second person “you” sounds sincere and celebratory)
 Answers
6. The pizza Radha burnt (follow subject verb object word order)
6. Radha burnt the pizza.
7. The girl was walking the dog on the phone. (The order of words is
incorrect )
7. The girl on the phone was walking the dog.
8. To the Mughlai restaurant, we had to go for the dinner. (The order of
words is incorrect)
8. We had to go to the Mughlai restaurant for the dinner.
9. You have the report? (incorrect use of punctuation)
9. Do you have the report? (formed an interrogative sentence)
10. The presentation was good. (description is vague)
10. The presentation was descriptive/engaging. (description is specific)