Lesson 2 - AngerLesson 2 - Anger
Anger and its Impact
By George Anderson, MSW, LCSW, BCD
with contributions by John Elder, MA
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
2
OverviewOverview
Anger and stress are two factors that tend
to occur in an act of aggression toward
another person.
Recognizing and improving skills in anger
management, stress management, empathy
and assertive communication are the keys
to improving relationships with others.
All of these will be covered in this class.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
3
VocabularyVocabulary
 Anger is a feeling of displeasure, which usually
shows itself in a desire to fight back at the
supposed cause.
 Stress is the mismatch between the demands
made on us and our ability to meet those
demands.
 Emotional intelligence is the capacity to create
positive outcomes in relationship to yourself and
others.
 Good communication skills requires two sets of
skills: accurate receiving and accurate sending.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
4
Anger Control LogAnger Control Log
 Briefly describe the incident
which resulted in your
decision to take this class.
 What did you want happen in
this situation?
 What caused you to think that
your action would get the
results your wanted?
 What feelings were you
having?
 What was the impact of your
action on you?
 Did any past violence or
aggression on your part affect
this situation?
 What could you have done
differently?
 Give an example.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
5
Destructive InteractionsDestructive Interactions
Which of the following negative interactions
best describe your behavior in the incident
mentioned in your control log.
 Inattention
 Intimidation
 Controlling
 Manipulation
 Hostility
 Rage
 Avoidance
 Interrupting
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
6
Constructive InteractionsConstructive Interactions
Which of the following healthy interactions might
you have used to improve the situation in your
control log?
 Active Listening
 Focusing
 Seeking Compromise
 Rephrasing
 Expressing Feelings
 Stating Needs
 Assertiveness
 Honest Feedback
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
7
AngerAnger
Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But
to be angry with the right person, to the
right degree, at the right time, for the right
purpose, and in the right way – that is not
easy.
– Aristotle
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
8
Anger and YouAnger and You
 Which of Aristotle’s challenges do you have
the most difficulty with? Being angry:
1. With the right person?
2. To the right degree?
3. At the right time?
4. For the right purpose?
5. In the right way?
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
9
Anger: What is it? What Causes it?Anger: What is it? What Causes it?
Anger is a reaction to an inner emotion
and not a planned action.
Anger is a secondary emotion.
Anger is learned.
Anger is a normal human emotion.
Anger is a problem when it is harmful to
you or someone else.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
10
The Heavy Cost of AngerThe Heavy Cost of Anger
Here are five specific signals that will tell you
when your anger is creating problems for you:
1. When it is too frequent.
2. When it is too intense.
3. When it lasts too long.
4. When it leads to aggression.
5. When it destroys work, school, or personal
relationships.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
11
Anger Is an EnergizerAnger Is an Energizer
Anger sends signals to all parts of our
body to prepare us for a physical fight.
Anger is a secondary emotion. A primary
emotion is what we feel just (often
unconsciously) before we feel angry:
– Identify the primary emotion.
– Communicate your feelings.
– Anger is often a response to fear.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
12
Anger: A Powerful TeacherAnger: A Powerful Teacher
Anger is an intense emotion. It is evidence
that we feel strongly about something. As
with every emotion, it has a lesson for us.
 It can teach us what we value, what we
need, what we lack, what we believe and
what our insecurities are.
It can help us become more aware of what
we feel strongly about and which
emotional needs are important to us.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
13
Learning from AngerLearning from Anger
One way to learn from anger is shown in
the example below. Instead of saying:
“She never should have done that. I can’t believe
how insensitive and inconsiderate she is. What
a cold-hearted, evil person.”
Reframe your thoughts:
“I wish she hadn’t done that. I feel ignored and
trifled with. How can I take care of my own
emotional needs?”
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
14
SummarySummary
Anger is a basic secondary human emotion
that impacts the body and mind.
When acted out inappropriately, anger can
be destructive.
By paying attention to our anger we can
learn from it and develop deeper emotional
intelligence.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
15
ApplicationApplication
Notice how your anger impacts you and
your relationships.
Become aware of how anger feels in your
body so that you can notice and manage it
earlier.
Learn to learn from your anger instead of
acting it out in destructive ways.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
16
For More InformationFor More Information
 Other anger management sessions
– Lesson 3 – Basic Steps for Anger Management
– Lesson 3 – Taking a Time Out
– Lesson 3 – Keeping an Anger Log
 Books
– Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames, Thich Nhat
Hanh.
– Letting Go of Anger, Ronald & Patricia Potter-Efron.
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
17
EvaluationEvaluation
1. Anger is a primary emotion. (T/F)
2. Our response to anger is learned. (T/F)
3. Taking a time-out gives you time to plan your
attack on the other party. (T/F)
4. Anger is a powerful teacher, it can teach us
what we value, what we need, what we lack.
(T/F)
Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger
18
Evaluation - AnswersEvaluation - Answers
1. Anger is a primary emotion.
 FALSE: Anger is a secondary emotion, which is produced by a primary
emotion such as fear, sadness, or frustration.
1. Our response to anger is learned.
 TRUE: We learn to act out our anger from family, friends, TV, and movies.
1. Taking a time-out gives you time to plan your attack on the other party.
 FALSE: A time-out is a time to cool down and calm down so that you can
resolve your conflict with the other party.
1. Anger is a powerful teacher, it can teach us what we value, what we need,
what we lack.
 TRUE: It can help us become more aware of what we feel strongly about and
which emotional needs are important to us.

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2013 am home study_lesson 2 - about anger

  • 1. Lesson 2 - AngerLesson 2 - Anger Anger and its Impact By George Anderson, MSW, LCSW, BCD with contributions by John Elder, MA
  • 2. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 2 OverviewOverview Anger and stress are two factors that tend to occur in an act of aggression toward another person. Recognizing and improving skills in anger management, stress management, empathy and assertive communication are the keys to improving relationships with others. All of these will be covered in this class.
  • 3. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 3 VocabularyVocabulary  Anger is a feeling of displeasure, which usually shows itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause.  Stress is the mismatch between the demands made on us and our ability to meet those demands.  Emotional intelligence is the capacity to create positive outcomes in relationship to yourself and others.  Good communication skills requires two sets of skills: accurate receiving and accurate sending.
  • 4. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 4 Anger Control LogAnger Control Log  Briefly describe the incident which resulted in your decision to take this class.  What did you want happen in this situation?  What caused you to think that your action would get the results your wanted?  What feelings were you having?  What was the impact of your action on you?  Did any past violence or aggression on your part affect this situation?  What could you have done differently?  Give an example.
  • 5. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 5 Destructive InteractionsDestructive Interactions Which of the following negative interactions best describe your behavior in the incident mentioned in your control log.  Inattention  Intimidation  Controlling  Manipulation  Hostility  Rage  Avoidance  Interrupting
  • 6. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 6 Constructive InteractionsConstructive Interactions Which of the following healthy interactions might you have used to improve the situation in your control log?  Active Listening  Focusing  Seeking Compromise  Rephrasing  Expressing Feelings  Stating Needs  Assertiveness  Honest Feedback
  • 7. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 7 AngerAnger Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy. – Aristotle
  • 8. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 8 Anger and YouAnger and You  Which of Aristotle’s challenges do you have the most difficulty with? Being angry: 1. With the right person? 2. To the right degree? 3. At the right time? 4. For the right purpose? 5. In the right way?
  • 9. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 9 Anger: What is it? What Causes it?Anger: What is it? What Causes it? Anger is a reaction to an inner emotion and not a planned action. Anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is learned. Anger is a normal human emotion. Anger is a problem when it is harmful to you or someone else.
  • 10. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 10 The Heavy Cost of AngerThe Heavy Cost of Anger Here are five specific signals that will tell you when your anger is creating problems for you: 1. When it is too frequent. 2. When it is too intense. 3. When it lasts too long. 4. When it leads to aggression. 5. When it destroys work, school, or personal relationships.
  • 11. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 11 Anger Is an EnergizerAnger Is an Energizer Anger sends signals to all parts of our body to prepare us for a physical fight. Anger is a secondary emotion. A primary emotion is what we feel just (often unconsciously) before we feel angry: – Identify the primary emotion. – Communicate your feelings. – Anger is often a response to fear.
  • 12. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 12 Anger: A Powerful TeacherAnger: A Powerful Teacher Anger is an intense emotion. It is evidence that we feel strongly about something. As with every emotion, it has a lesson for us.  It can teach us what we value, what we need, what we lack, what we believe and what our insecurities are. It can help us become more aware of what we feel strongly about and which emotional needs are important to us.
  • 13. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 13 Learning from AngerLearning from Anger One way to learn from anger is shown in the example below. Instead of saying: “She never should have done that. I can’t believe how insensitive and inconsiderate she is. What a cold-hearted, evil person.” Reframe your thoughts: “I wish she hadn’t done that. I feel ignored and trifled with. How can I take care of my own emotional needs?”
  • 14. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 14 SummarySummary Anger is a basic secondary human emotion that impacts the body and mind. When acted out inappropriately, anger can be destructive. By paying attention to our anger we can learn from it and develop deeper emotional intelligence.
  • 15. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 15 ApplicationApplication Notice how your anger impacts you and your relationships. Become aware of how anger feels in your body so that you can notice and manage it earlier. Learn to learn from your anger instead of acting it out in destructive ways.
  • 16. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 16 For More InformationFor More Information  Other anger management sessions – Lesson 3 – Basic Steps for Anger Management – Lesson 3 – Taking a Time Out – Lesson 3 – Keeping an Anger Log  Books – Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames, Thich Nhat Hanh. – Letting Go of Anger, Ronald & Patricia Potter-Efron.
  • 17. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 17 EvaluationEvaluation 1. Anger is a primary emotion. (T/F) 2. Our response to anger is learned. (T/F) 3. Taking a time-out gives you time to plan your attack on the other party. (T/F) 4. Anger is a powerful teacher, it can teach us what we value, what we need, what we lack. (T/F)
  • 18. Anderson and Anderson - Lesson 2 - About Anger 18 Evaluation - AnswersEvaluation - Answers 1. Anger is a primary emotion.  FALSE: Anger is a secondary emotion, which is produced by a primary emotion such as fear, sadness, or frustration. 1. Our response to anger is learned.  TRUE: We learn to act out our anger from family, friends, TV, and movies. 1. Taking a time-out gives you time to plan your attack on the other party.  FALSE: A time-out is a time to cool down and calm down so that you can resolve your conflict with the other party. 1. Anger is a powerful teacher, it can teach us what we value, what we need, what we lack.  TRUE: It can help us become more aware of what we feel strongly about and which emotional needs are important to us.