Managing_Conflicts(aka Difficult conversations)_v2
- 1. Managing Difficult Conversations for GGC By Orly Amrany
- 2. Today I Will Speak About… My background My personal Journey What conversations are hard for us? Conflicts & Dilemmas Personal notes
- 3. A Bit About Myself
- 4. Schulich School of Business, Toronto, CA, Marketing Major TAU Recanati MBA Technion, BSc Computer Science engineering IDF Mamram Extended Programming course R&D Center SW Developer
- 5. Head of Products and Product Marketing SDK Partner Manager, QM Manager, Product Manager, Technology Platform General Manager Sr. SW Developer & Project Lead VP Product
- 7. I was raised to appreciate excellency & hard skills The year is 2007: Things are not progressing as I wished What am I missing here ???
- 8. Soft Skills How to form alliances with people How to take ownership How to take responsibility: “fix more, complain less” Be positive even when things not going exactly as you wanted Create positive atmosphere around you How to make visibility to what you do & to your achievements How to manage difficult conversations & Conflicts Maturity
- 9. Which conversation are hard for us?
- 10. Disagreement with colleagues Matrix Management, make people work for you without authority Give your employee feedback when his/her work in not good enough / layoff Get feedback from your boss Ask something from your boss (raise, more ppl, promotion..) All Have conflicts or potential conflicts
- 12. Basic tips to manage a conflict with a colleague : http://leanin.org/education/managing-difficult-conversations/ Listen well (even if it’s hard & you don’t agree, do not interrupt) Inquiry/ ask questions (what do you say? Why ? What do you want to achieve?) Validate your understanding / summarize the counterparty Express your view (use first person, “I don’t understand”) Engage in negotiations Formalize the agreement (Agree Vs Promise)
- 13. What is a ‘Good’ Conversation? When at the end of it you relate to these: I, WE , IT I feel good about myself The counterparty feels good We related positively to each other I got what I wanted The counter party got what he wanted
- 14. Basic tips to hand conflicts of responsibility & control: It is a process: You need to plant the ideas first, hoping they will grow over time Make a “lobby”, talk to people before Come prepared (plans, research) Show to key people, the benefits for the company Suggest few things (hopefully some will be accepted) Come with confidence Try to make it sound less about ‘me’ Do not talk about others / compare to others
- 15. Dilemma #1 How to say ‘I want’: What % of this challenge is because of my character and what % is due to the fact I am a woman in a male environment? Is a woman saying “I want” sounds different than a man saying the same (“Assertive vs. aggressive?”)
- 16. Dilemma #2 Managing emotions: Does male environment “speak” different language? (“to the point”, “roughness”, “hide difficulties and needs”, “take place naturally w/o effort) Is asking to be included sounds (to the other side) like “over-controlling”, “territorial”, “pushy”, “freak control”, “aggressive” ? Is a male managerial environment make the challenge harder for women? Should we control/repress our emotional communications or adopt to the male environment? Should we let our “feminine” emotional language be present and work on our personal vulnerability?
- 17. What Do You Think? Managing Emotions: The hardest part? (especially for woman? )
- 18. Personal Notes
- 19. Find your key strength (examples: work hard, attention to details, organized work) The bad news: It is all fair in war..(no such thing as “not fair”) The good news: Most people are good, and usually it is not personal against you Try to avoid sarcasm , accusations Personally, sometime I use my advantage: emotions are also creating empathy, they are authentic.
- 20. It is a day-2-day struggle / way of life Authentic but not accusing Pusher but not overbearing “Want” but not “crying” Fit-in the codes without letting go of your way Progress at work without letting go of your values and ambitions and strength
- 21. Marissa Mayer
- 22. Short Video - MadMen https://youtu.be/b28GqQfm49U
- 23. “You never say thank you!” “that’s what the money is for!” “you do your job so well, and they appreciate you, you don’t have to play any game…” “you presented like a man, now act like one..” “I want 5 $ a week more” “see that’s why I don’t like working with women, you have no sense of humor…“ “You're fired!” “I just saved this company, but it’s not as important as getting married!” “I don’t know if all women are Jackie or Marilyn, maybe men see them that way..”
- 24. Questions?
Editor's Notes
- #5: 41 years old From Kiryat Motzkin (Haifa) Parents w/ no academic education Education: Army Service, Mamram (IDF’s computer school) BSc, Computer Science Engineering, Technion (summa cum laude – top 3%) MBA , Recanati business school, TAU , graduated with honors Marketing Major, York business school , Toronto
- #8: Point A: What do you study (physics, Math, Computer science) Where do you study (Technion, MIT..) What are your grades (Suma com laude) Are you hard worker? Do you deliver ? PointB: Over 10 successful years in Hi-tech, on different roles BUT still: I felt like I am not in the place where I should be People around me, that are getting ahead do not necessary stand up to the standard above.
- #11: 1. Disagreement with colleagues - how things should be handled - the way we want things to work - expectations
- #13: Use this template and you will be surprised how it works Example – marketing manager
- #14: The I the we and the IT I feel good We related positivly to each other the goal was achieved
- #15: When you want to take an area, be responsible for a project *Personal Dilemma: GW project (“freak control”, “territorial” ..)
- #20: - You win some you lose some - You can not always get what you want, but.. - Keep it in proportion, it is only work…
- #21: While these dilemmas makes it hard, we still need to find our way to do it , without being vulnerable/accusing ,feel like a victim out of strength. --------- Final Words You win some you lose some You can not always get what you want, but.. Keep it in proportion, it is only work…
- #24: “see that’s why I don’t like working with women, you have no sense of humor… “ “You're fired!” “I’m always saying: if you don’t like what they’re saying, change the conversation” “I worked my way up!”