Parents' role in inculcating good behaviour 2016
- 1. INCULCATING GOOD BEHAVIOUR IN CHILDREN PARENTS’ ROLE 2nd April, 2016 By (Mrs.) I.P. Bhatia
- 2. Parents’ Role in Inculcating Good Behaviour • Parents are the child’s first and most important teacher. Every day you’re helping your child learn new information, skills and ways of behaving. • There are several ways you can help children learn everything from basic self-care to more complicated social skills.
- 3. Hug Your Child • First thing in the morning – Hug your child. • Well hugged babies are less stressed as adults. • Hugging enhances immune system • The best way to keep a strong bond with your children.
- 4. Praise and Encouragement • Praise your child for his strengths. Children have their own unique set of strengths. Try to appreciate your child’s good points. • Praise effort as well as achievement. Recognise and praise how hard your child is trying – for example, ‘You have used so many colours in your painting’ or ‘I appreciate the way you organised the shelf’.
- 5. Give Your Child a Special Cuddle • Children who had been brought up by their family and sat on laps of their mothers, their Oxytocin (love hormones) levels rose which plays key role in developing social skills.
- 6. Surprise Your Child with a Reward for Good Behaviour • ‘Thanks for picking up the toys – let’s go to the park to celebrate’ or Thank you for remembering to hang your coat on the peg’. You can choose what we have for dessert’.
- 7. Get Down To Your Child’s Level • Kneeling or squatting down next to children is a very powerful tool for communicating positively with them. Getting close allows you to tune in to what they might be feeling or thinking. • It also helps them focus on what you are saying or asking for. If you are close to your child and have his attention, there is no need to make him look at you.
- 8. Active Listening • Active listening is another tool for helping children cope with their emotions. They tend to get frustrated a lot, especially if they can’t express themselves well enough verbally. It also makes them feel respected and comforted.
- 9. Keep Promises • Stick to agreements. When you follow through on your promises, good or bad, your child learns to trust and respect you. So when you promise to go for a walk after she picks up her toys, make sure you have your walking shoes handy.
- 10. Think Twice Before Using ‘No’ or ‘Stop’ • Before you get involved in anything your child is doing – especially to say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ – ask yourself if it really matters. Rules are important, but use them only when it’s really important.
- 11. ‘No’ Means ‘NO’, Not May Be • Don’t say No unless you mean it. If you say ‘no’ and then give in, children will whine even more the next time.
- 12. Give Clear, Simple & Positive Instructions • Give clear instructions in simple terms, your child will know what is expected of him. • Use your child’s name and encourage your child to look at you while you speak. • Use a clear, calm voice. • Stating things in a positive way gets their heads thinking in the right direction. For example, ‘Please shut the gate’ is better than ‘Don't leave the gate open’.
- 13. Playing Games and Having Fun • Playing games and having fun with your child can help your child feel happier, be more relaxed and build resilience. • Sharing special time can be great for you too – it’s your chance to be a kid again and have fun. • Sharing happy experiences helps to build your relationship with your child.
- 14. Descriptive Praise • Descriptive praise is when you tell your child exactly what it is that you like. For example, ‘I love the way you shared your Pizza with your brother just now’, ‘I like the way you’ve organised your room’ or ‘I love the picture you drew.’ • Describing what you like is much more genuine and convincing than vague praise such as ‘You’re a good boy/girl’
- 15. Teaching Skills Step By Step • When your child first tries, he might not get it right. But with practice, he’ll get closer to what you want – and you can help by shaping what he does.
- 16. Celebrate Festivals and Family Rituals • Helps strengthen your family’s values & pass these values on to your children. Rituals also teach children skills like how to interact with others. All these activities help in building family ties.
- 17. Establish Some Routines • Routines can help your child feel safe and secure, particularly when new things are happening. You could set up a routine for mornings – for example, get up, , clean teeth, get dressed, have breakfast, pack lunchbox and go. You could even make a chart with pictures showing the different steps in your routine.
- 18. Develop Habits - Saying Morning Wish and Goodbye • Say goodbye to your child so that she knows you’re going. You could choose a special place and way to say goodbye, or an activity to do before you go. GoodbyeGood Morning
- 19. Celebrate Your Child’s Achievements • Joining a new school, new environment, meeting new people, and learning new ways of doing things are big achievements for your child. You can build your child’s confidence and sense of competence when you celebrate these.
- 20. Maintain a Sense of Humour • Another way of diffusing tension and possible conflict is to use humour and fun. You can pretend to become the menacing tickle monster or make animal noises. • But humour at your child’s expense won't help. Young children are easily hurt by parental ‘teasing’. Humour that helps you both laugh is great.
- 21. Children Do As You Do • Parents are role models. Your child watches you to get clues on how to behave in the world, so use your own behaviour to guide him/her. What you do is often much more important than what you say. • If you want your child to say ‘please’, say it yourself. If you don’t want your child to raise her voice, speak quietly and gently yourself.
- 22. Catch Her Being ‘Good’ • This simply means that when your child is behaving in a way you like, you can give her some positive feedback. For example, ‘Wow, you are playing so nicely. I really like the way you are keeping all the blocks on the table’.
- 23. Encouraging Child To Tell Truth • You can do this by emphasising the importance of honesty in your family and praising your child for honesty – even if it sometimes takes you a while to get it. You can also send messages about honesty by telling your child that you don’t like it when he/she lies to you.
- 24. Bedtime Stories & Chat • Bedtime stories and chats help relax and refresh children. The routine of stories and chats is very calming for children when they are lying in their cozy, warm beds with their parents. • The rich language found in stories helps children to develop their own speaking skills. Vocabulary is also built. • You will never forget the feelings of intimacy you experience and neither will your children.