Writing narratives

NARRATIVE PARAGRAPHS
What makes a paragraph?
What is unique about narrative paragraphs
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Three elements of all paragraphs
Topic sentence which has a main idea and a
controlling idea. This is usually the first sentence in a
paragraph.
Topic sentence is the sentence that will let you know
what the paper is going to be about.
Body of a paragraph uses facts, details, and
examples to develop and support the main idea of
the paragraph. In your body it is common to have
things in a specific order.
Conclusion which is one sentence that goes
back to
the main idea. The conclusion also sums up the
main idea
of everything in the paragraph.

My Most Embarrassing Moment
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The most embarrassing moment of my sophomore year was
how I earned my nick name, Crash. It all started right after
school when I turned on to the busiest street by the school. First
I pulled up right behind this truck at a stop sign. After a second,
a fellow older student told me that I was really close and that I
was going to hit the truck in front of me. At the moment I was
trying to tell the kid that I was giving a ride toget back in the car
because he was hanging out the window. Since I was distracted,
I thought the long line of traffic had started to move,
but it hadn’t. In the blink of an eye I hit the back of the truck
in front of me. The devastation sunk in. I was so worried that I
damaged the truck, but all that I did was scratch his bumper.
Lucky for him! Then it came time to look at my car. My car was
ruined. The hood was buckled, the frontend was pushed back,
and my headlights were broken. Humiliated and scared, I still had
to drive my totaled care home. During School that year,
I never did hear the end of what had happened that day.
~© Tiffany Haggerty~

DEVELOP A PERSONAL VOICE WHEN
WRITING
VOICE shows your personality when writing. The writing has a sound different from
everyone else's. It has feeling and emotion so that it does not sound boring. The
reader should be able to tell if you are happy or sad. The writer should be writing
from the heart and bring the topic to life for the reader.
Funny One day my mom took me to the circus. I
LOVE the circus. There are always some
very funny clowns. My favorite clown
there came up to me and told me he had
a secret for me. He got real close to me
and I thought he was going to whisper in
my ear when POW he squirted me in the
face with his water flower. I never
laughed so much. I had a great time at
the circus and will remember it for the rest
of my life.

Mysterious Yesterday when I was on my way to
the grocery store I saw a very strange
man. He had on a brown trench coat,
red hat and was carrying a purple
umbrella. I'm sure he was some kind
of investigator. As he began walking I
noticed he was just peeking over the
top of his coat and I could only see his
eyes. He was very sneaky looking.
I'm sure he was watching somebody, I
just wonder who!

Frightening As a baseball let me tell you I have some
pretty frightening experiences. Imagine
being hit by a hard bat. OUCH, I want to
scream every time someone hits me.
Then for the flight through the air. You
can't believe how scary that is. I am
always asking myself three questions.
Will someone catch me? Will I fly over
the fence and land with a hard thud? Or
will I just go bouncing across the field?
The next time you are frightened, stop a
minute and think about how I feel. That
is the true meaning of frightened!

POINT OF VIEW
When a writer begins a new story he must decide:"Who will tell my story?"
An author can tell a story from the first-person point of view.
OR
The author can use the third-person point of view
First-person Point of View
•A character in the story is the
narrator. This character is telling
the story. The narrator uses the
pronouns I, me and
we.
•In first-person point of view,
readers learn about events as the
narrator learns about them.
Third-person Point of View
•The story is being told by an
outside observer - someone who is
not in the story. The author uses
the pronouns he, she, and they.
•In third-person point of view, the
author can tell about the thoughts,
actions, and feelings of the other
characters.

First - Person Point of View
I walked home from school today with my friends.
We stopped for ice cream. I had vanilla. It's my
favorite. When I got up this morning I brushed
my teeth. Then I got dressed and ate my
breakfast.
Third - Person Point of View
Ted plays on a baseball team. He loves to play
with his team. He has a game next week. His
coach thinks he's a good baseball player.
The princess was locked in the tower. She had no
way to escape. She hoped that a prince would
rescue her. Her wish came true. He came and
took her to his castle.

Read each group of sentences.
Decide if it is written in first person or third person point of view.
The hunter had a cottage in the woods. He lived there all alone.
I ride the bus to each every day. I like to sit with my friends.
My friends and I went camping. I toasted marshmallows over the fire.
Joey likes to go swimming. Sometimes he asks his friend Sam to go with him.
He brings his ball to play with.
Frosty the snowman had a hat on his head. He also had a pipe and a carrot
nose. He held a shovel in his hand.

POINT OF VIEW
The role of the narrator is vital as her or his bias can affect the way the story
develops.
Retell Little Red Riding Hood from two of these points of view:
• grandma
• Red Riding Hood’s mother
• the wolf
• the wood cutter
Use the first person “I” when you write your two or three paragraphs.

NARRATIVE WRITING
In a good narrative, the reader relates closely to the story,
feels involved with the plot and often identifies with the
characters. A good story is hard to put down and the reader
feels a sense of loss when it ends. The features of a narrative
are:
the plot this is what happens
characters the people or animals in the story
the setting where the narrative takes place
theme the aurthors message

PLANNING YOUR NARRATIVE
Brainstorm your ideas. This does not need to take to long and can be
added to.

Plan the path your writing will take. This plan is in a flow-chart form.

OPENING SENTENCESThe Opening Sentence
To write an opening sentence which will grab the reader’s attention.
Stories can start using the following ways:
Dialogue: “Hands in the air this is a stick up!” he hollered roughly.
A statement: The school principal had to collect the boy from the roof.
Problem: David didn’t know what to do: the school bully, Ted was
expecting him to hand over five doallars and all he had
was fifty cents.
Action: Without a moments hesitation, Maude Drinkwater lifted
the revolver and fired.
Description of people: Mr Sherman looked ordinary for someone who had just
solved one of the world’s most difficult maths problems.
Description of place: The sky was the colour of dish water.
Description of time: As the clock struct twelve it echoed around the hall.

Write an opening sentence for one of these stories using the different ways
to start a story:
• A mysterious stranger
• An accident
• An act of bravery
• The arrival of a new pet
• A win
• A loss
Try two other ways of starting the same story.

ACTIVE BEGININGSIn order to capture your reader’s attention, the beginning of your story must be
interesting and lively enough to make your reader want to keep reading. One way
to do this is to begin with an action.
Directions: Revise each story beginning. Put your main character in the setting,
and have the character do something relevant to the story.
Example: One rainy day I went to the mall.
Revision: I splashed across the parking lot, yanked open the tall glass
door, dripping wet, stepped into the mall.
1. Hi. My name is Kate. This is a story about the time I went to the zoo.
Put Kate at the zoo doing something
2. This is a story about the time I built a robort in my basement.
Put yourself in the basement doing something
• I will tell you about my adventure swimming at the lake
Put yourself at the lake doing something

EXERCISE 1: THE KEEPER
1. What is meant by unblemished?
2. What is an expedition?
3. Do you think this book is written about the past, the present or the future?
4. What were the clues that gave you the answer to question 3? Discuss the
reason.
5. Does the opening paragraph make you want to read on? Why/why not?

EXERCISE 2: ROCCO
1. Is it daytime or night-time? How do you know?
2. Is the youth sleeping peacefully? Give reasons for your answer.
3. What do you think the story is going to be about? Making reference to the text,
give reasons for your answer.
Here is an orientation that gives a setting.

PLOT
A plot starts with an introduction to the narrative. A
plot will include problems or crises and how these are
solved, and the conclusion to the narrative. If it is a
good plot, there will be situayions which happen
throughout the narrative thaat will make you want to
read on.
What happens in a novel has been carefully planned
by the author. Some authors use a flow chart to plan
their work. Others might write a brief overview of
events noting each crisis, climax or problem and how
each will be resolved.

IMPROVE YOUR PLOT
Who are your story’s main characters?
What are their main needs?(motives)
Who or what tries to stop or thwart them from
achieving their needs? (conflict)
Do the characters succeed or fail in achieving
their goals?
How do they succeed or fail? (resolution)

EXERCISE 1: PLOT DEVELOPMENTThe folowing extract from The Keeper is an example of a crisis in a plot.

This is how the plot of The Keeper might look in graph form.
The plot may have many parts to it. It may have subplots within the main
plot. Whether the plot is action-packed or slow and leisurely, a good plot
will keep the reader interested.
A crisis is a turning-point, a moment of danger or suspense. A climax is
the highest point in a series of events. There is often a build-up to a big
climax near the end of the narrative.

PLOT DEVELOPMENT: THE KEEPER
1. What is the setting in this extract?
2. Name the people who seemed to be present.
3. Where were Jean and the narrator:
a. at the beginning of the text?
b. when they saw the tiger?
3. How do you think the group felt after this crisis?
This text gives a good example of the rise and fall of a crisis within the plot.
There is a build up with all the action of trying to get out of the way of the
tiger and it leaping, then the feeling of relief when the animal is dead.
Short quick sentences: “Then it looked at me. It did not see me.” keep the
feeling of excitement and suspense going.

CHARACTERISATIO
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A person’s appearance, their posture and ways of walking, their hobbies, the way in
which they express their emotions, their secret wishes, fears, prejudices and
religious beliefs are all pointers to their character.
We develop character through the following:
Dialogue what the characters say and how the say it
Action what the characters do
Reactions how the characters think and feel in different situations
Relationships how the character interact with each other, and how others view
them
Crisis a turning point in the story for the character; the way in which
the characters respond in a crisis revaels true character

CHARACTERS
Narrative Characters may be people of animals. Although they are imaginary, the
author may have modelled their character on people they know. A reader can
usually identify with characters, either through a character’s personality, actions or
experiences, or physical appearance.
Characters in a book may be built up over several chapters with the reader getting
an impression of their personality through actions, reactions and relationships to
other characters.

Exercise
Write 4-6 sentences, using the ‘Show, don’t tell’ method, which reveal the
characters of the following people:
• a greedy child
• a stressed teacher
• a bossy bus driver
• an impatient explorer
• a terrified airline passenger
• a mother trying to get her reluctant toddler to eat

Things to think about
These settings all paint a picture for the
reader. Think carefully about which style of
scene setting appeals to you.
Do you prefer to be given a clear
description?
Do you prefer imagery where the writer’s
use of words lets you use your imagination?
Do you prefer a character in the text to help
establish the mood of the setting by talking
about it?

CREATE A SETTING
Write a setting that vividly portrays the background to the plot.
The setting is where the action is happening and when the action occurs ie. Time
of day, month, year.
Choose one of the following and write a short description of it. The description
should include:
time of day,
the weather,
the sights,
sound and smells.
•The beach
•Inside a restaurant
•A city street
•A favourite park
•A swamp

ADD PHRASES
Phrases add information and interest to short, dull sentences.
To add an adjectival phrase, you can ask questions like ‘how’, ‘when’, or ‘where’.
Adjectival phrases: The boy was a culprit.
The boy with a cheeky grin was a culprit.
Adverbial phrases: We skipped.
We skipped across the playground.
We skipped across the playground with great abandon
after our win in soccer.
Add phrases to:
1. The girl cried.
2. The door opened.
3. They killed his parents.
4. We worked.

JOIN SHORT SENTENCESSometimes short sentences can be combined to create longer, more interesting
sentences.
Example
First Draft: The rosella was feeding in the tree. It was attacked by
another bird. It flew away
Revised: Attacked by another bird as it fed in the tree, the rosella
flew away.
Rewrite the following examples to turn each example into one interesting sentence.
1. It was Sunday. The cricket match was cancelled. The pitch had been ruined by
rain
2. I was not pleased with my sister Natalie. She scribbled on my homework. I told
mom.
3. I’ve been working all day. I’m tired. I think I’ll take a rest.
4. Every night for dinner we have boiled rice. I don’t like boiled rice. It is my least
favourite food.

VARY SENTENCE LENGTH
When you vary your sentence lengths, it creates a pleasant rhythm.
A story can become boring if all the sentences are the same length.
Example
Listen to what is happening. These sentences have five words. Here are
another five words. Five more words to follow it. The sentences begin to drone.
There is no variety here. It’s like a stuck record. It goes on and on.
1. Write a five sentence story; the first sentence should have one word, the
second two words, the third three words and so on.
2. Write a five sentence story with a different number of words in each
sentence.
3. Study sentence lenghts in a page from a published story.

SMOOTH TRANSITIONS
One way an author can get the reader’s attention is by using pharases
that we call “red flags.” red flags, such as all of a sudden or the next
thing I knew, indicate a new twist in the plot. Red flags can replace
predictiable words and phrases, like next and then.
Read the sample sentences below. Create your own “Red Flag Menu” by filling in
the blanks.
Suddenly I manage to escape from the monster.
Just then I manage to escape from the monster.
I manage to escape from the monster.

CREATE SIMILES
Complete the following:
1. The sun sank in the west like…
2. The baby opened its mouth for food like…
3. When he left, it was quiet…
4. The shadow hung on the wall like…
5. His words were as painful as…
6. The sun on the water was like…
7. On roller skates she looked as awkward as…
8. The sky was as blue as…
9. The clouds rolled across the sky like..
10. After our huge dinner of fish and chips, we felt like…
LEARNING INTENTION: To liken something to something else, by using similes.
Examples: My attention was as far away as love on a
battlefield.
Her skin is pale as eggshells.

METAPHORS
A metaphor is like a simile. That's because it is a comparison that is made
between things, which is not always likely or obvious. We don’t use ‘like’ or
‘as’ in a metaphor.
We often use metaphors without realising it. For instance, when we say
that your parents 'bark a command'bark a command' at you, you are comparing them to a
dog, and hence engaging in metaphor!
Other Metaphors
A heart of stone
He has the heart of a lion
You are the sun in my sky
You are the light in my life
She is my East and my West, my compass.
You had better pull your socks up
Love is a lemon - either bitter of sweet

CREATE METAPHORS
Try to write three metaphors for each of the following examples:
the sun an apple
clouds cheese
a cat the ocean
fog anger
LEARNING INTENTION: to understand that a metaphor is a word picture in
which the writer replaces the thing to be described with another image. It makes
a more direct and vivid comparison to a simile.
Examples: The moon is a pearl from a necklace.
The moon is a cold, cheesy pizza.
The moon is earth’s halo

MAKE EVERY WORD COUNT
Rewrite these sentences, eliminating all the unnecessary words to make
each sentence more precise.
1. He looked at Mike. Mike was his brother.
2. The people that I would like to tell you about are my father and mother.
3. He let me know that the contest the Bulldogs were in resulted in a win
for the Bulldogs.
4. In the vase were some daffodils. The vase of daffodils was on the table.
5. This recipe deals with and describes one method used to attain the
desired result in the preparation of scrambled eggs.
You can improve your writing by removing unnecessary words. It is possible to
eliminate unnecessary words but still retain the same information.
First Draft The idea was thought of by Jim at four o’clock early in
the morning. (14 words)
Revised Jim’s idea came at 4 am. (6 words)

IMPACT
Show Don’t Tell
To write what is happening in the story without explicitly stating it.
Telling sentence: Joe was old.
Showing sentence: Joe creacked when he moved, his arthritic limbs
bowed beneath the weight of his eighty years
Below are some telling sentences which simply state facts. Transform them into
showing sentences:
1. It was cold on the beach.
2. Dad was angry.
3. My friend is a great rugby player.
4. The house needed repairs.
5. The car braked suddenly.

CREATE WORD PICTURES
We can add details to a sentence to make an image more vivid and life-
like.
Bland The man had a hairy face.
Interesting The hair on Mr Twit’s face didn’t grow smooth and
matted as it does on most hairy-faced men. It grew
in spikes that struck out straights like bristles of a
nail brush.
Rewrite these sentences using details to make the image live.
1. The room was dark
2. The girl ran
3. His dog was unwashed and smelly
4. The lady next door is a busy body.

FOCUS ON THE FACTS
We can add on sufficient information to help the reader understand better.
Example A boat came to the island.
What kind of boat was it?
Who was aboard the boat?
What were the feelings of the passengers about reching
the island?
When did the boat arrive?
What was the purpose of the visit?
Read the following sentences. What questions would you ask the writer to
ensure that all the essential information was given.
1. I don’t like school.
2. My aunt is in hospital.
3. We like going out for dinner.
Select one of these sentences. Rewrite them with sufficient information.

REPLACE OVERWORKED WORDS
For my birthday I got lots of presents.
It was a lovely day.
We got off the train at Wellington.
My sister got fifty dollars a week.
In the war, lots of men got injured.
Feeling annoyed, the teacher went out of the room.
We had a nice holiday in Dunedin where we met many nice people.
LEARNING INTENTION: To think of as many different ways as you can to
express the same idea.
Example: Mary is a good person.
Mary is a lovely person.
Mary is a wonderful person.
Mary is a superb person.
Mary is a delightful person.

STRONG VERBSBy using strong verbs we can express movement and help to create a picture in
the reader’s mind.
Well-chosen verbs can give writing power.
With throttles open all the way, big bad bruce and his gang charge down the
highway on their Harleys. Bruce blasts along the highway at top speed. Icy wind
whacks into his face. He whacks it back, twice as hard. He zooms around
corners and shoots up the straight. He pushes his bike to the max.
from Big Bad Bruce by Dianne Bates
Write a description of the action in each of thes pharases using strong verbs.
• a man kicking a door
• a lion stalking prey
• a rabbit digging a hole
• a getaway car speeding around a corner
• a dog chasing a cat

USING A THESAURUSA thesaurus extend your word power.
declared
exclaimed
questioned
replied
repeated
bellowed
shouted
responded
whispered
asked
Don't Say "Said," Say

WRITING YOUR NARRATIVE
PARAGRAPH – POINTS TO
REMEMBER
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 Have a voice/ tone –
frightened, angry,
surprised, exhilarated
 Point of view – who is
telling the story
 Setting, problem,
characters, solution,
theme
 Varying sentence
lengths
 Strong Verbs
 Replace overused
words
 Create a picture
 Make every word
count

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Topic Sentence - Introduces the topic a
sets the stage for the writer to prove a
point.
Adverbs creating a
picture
Be careful to show and
not tell

WRITING ASSIGNMENT –ROUGH DRAFT
DUE NEXT MONDAY IN BB
Revise and resubmit Descriptive
Paragraph tonight before you leave.
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Writing narratives

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