• The TA GASALO Personality

Margaret Helen Udarbe

Silliman University

• The study investigated Carandang's theory of 'tagasalo' in efforts to

describe and explain its origins, development, and dynamics. The
possibility of tagasalo being gender-specific and related to birth order,
was raised. Ten families were interviewed intensively. In addition, three
psychological tests were administered to the identified tagasalo child and
to another child least like the tagasalo. It was found that the tagasalo
personality is not systematically related to gender nor birth order, but it
can develop out of the need for a child to be different from a sibling who
causes emotional upheaval in the family. The tagasalo is a responsible
and caring person, a listener and a mediator, intent on harmony, and also
has a strong need for control and a capacity for emotional distance. Instead
ofthe self-doubting, unloved, compulsive, dependent, and passive tagasalo

• who appears to be acted upon in Carandang's theory, this study found

them to be responsible, caring, and dependable children who actually
take charge in efforts at relieving tension and resolving conflicts in the
family. The tagasalo is actually a person who influences the family's
dynamics, who actually holds power, and who seeks to be in control.

It has been observed that many if not most psychology students

play the tagasalo (caretaking) role so well and that this is perhaps the
reason why they were drawn to a helping profession. There seems to

• be a fundamental need on the part ofthe tagasalo to literally "catch"

other people's problems, making them one's own and, thus,
endeavoring to solve these problems him- or herself. To a large degree,
such behavior may be considered laudable and socially approved of.
And yet many of us may fail to see the other side ofthe picture-that
is, the "burning out" that is characteristic of people who overextend
themselves in the guise of"reaching out."
What drives one to be giving or, as the case may be, to be "too
giving?" Is it possible to foresee the development of such behavior in
order to prevent its compulsive, indiscriminate aspects? In this study,

• PHILIPPINE JOURNAL OF PSYCHOLOGY

December 2001, Vol. 34, No.2, 45-65
Udarbe

we attempted to look into the dynamics behind tagasalo, the better to

•
understand such a phenomenon among many individuals today.
Initially, however, it should be recognized that the term "tagasalo"
originated in the Philippine context and our investigation involved
Filipino cases in Filipino settings. Further, the approach in this study.
was that ofthe family systems perspective. Analysis therefore involved
entire families and was not dependent upon the perceptions of an
individual member. It was hoped that this approach would lead to
greater insight into the dynamics of the tagasalo more than the study
ofthe single individual would. •
BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY

It is the clinical psychologist Ma. Lourdes A. Carandang who

first cited several cases ofwhat she calls the "tagasalo" or "mananalo"
syndrome in her book, Filipino Children Under Stress (1987). She.
states:

Tagasalo comes from the rootwordsalo, which literally means "to catch."
With the prefix taga it means "one who catches." Used colloquially, the •.
word refers to one who "takes care, or one who comes to the rescue."
Mananalo is a synonym of tagasalo. (p. 47)

Carandang believes that there is a tagasalo in every family. She

discusses the syndrome's development in the context of a Filipino
society where female members are expected to take care ofhousehold
matters early in life. Eventually, these chores expand to the emotional
care of family members and others outside the family. It can go on
indefinitely and indiscriminately. .'
In addition to gender, Carandang (1987) also theorized on birth
order, stating that the tendency towards tagasalo can be determined
literally at birth. Carandang says that itis usually the middle child who
feels unrecognized and must, therefore, strive for attention through
acts that are socially approved of. A large part of the tagasalo's self-
concept becomes dependent onher ability to please others in the family
network. As the role is further reinforced by society, it takes on a
personality that is not questioned until the person becomes physically
and emotionally drained. Carandang further made the distinction

46 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2
II"'"

TheTagasalo Personality

• between the non-compulsive and the compulsive tagasalo. The non-

compulsive tagasalo is the one who occupies the role of caretaker
naturally and carries it out without being compulsively stuck to it.
The compulsive tagasalo, on the other hand, tries very hard to be
recognized and approved by her parents, always anticipating other
people's needs because she herself needs to be taken care of.
It was hoped that this study would lend clarification to Carandang's
theory of the tagasalo.

• REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

At a 1998 social science conference, psychologists Allen Tan and

Allan Bernardo both cited Carandang's theory building based on her
clinical practice. In particular, Tan (1998) stated that "perhaps the
best known example of this is Carandang's concept of the family
tagasalo" and that "such practice based research will do much to help
develop further the knowledge base of Philippine psychology."
Bernardo (1998), for his part, spoke of the need for psychologists to
be "mindful of their experiences in practice" and for researchers, in
particular, to "conceive of alternative ways of understanding our
reality."
But, after Carandang (1987) introduced the concept of tagasalo
in her book, no systematic studies have been done in the area in the
Philippines even though it had been observed in clinical practice. It
was thus considered essential to look elsewhere to find out iftagasalo
was a universal concept rather than a uniquely Filipino one and, ifso,
it may, after [Link] a different name.

• Efforts to come up with a Western counterpart for the tagasalo

syndrome have produced a wide variety ofpossibilities. Schaef(1990)
used the term "careaholics" synonymously with "workaholics,
busyaholics, and rushaholics" in Meditationsfor Women Who Do Too
Much. She thought there was a need to speak to women (and men)
who were doing too much, keeping too busy, and spending all their
time taking care of others instead of taking care of themselves. She
made no theoretical statements, however, regarding the origins of
careaholic behavior.

PHILIPPINE JOURNAL OF PSYCHOLOGY 47

Udarbe

Adler's (1973) "redeemer complex" characterizes "people who

•
in a conspicuous manner, but unknowingly, take an attitude that they
must redeem somebody." There are similarities between the redeemer's
and the tagasalo' s atttitude ofhelping others as well as the unknowing,
unconscious aspect of both. The difference is that in Carandang's
conceptualization, the person is driven by a need for others to care
for her whereas Adler's redeemer is motivated by a need for superiority.
Beattie (1987) offers another possibility in the concept of
"codependency." She defines a codependent person as "one who has
let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed
with controlling that person's behavior." Miller (1988) introduced a
•
similar concept in describing "enabler," using the term synonymously
with "pleaser," "family warrior," "facilitator," and "caretaker." Both
codependency and enabling developed in the context of alcoholic
families. Alcoholism was never a factor among Carandang's tagasalo
cases.
Some of the tagasalo characteristics that Carandang (1987)
enumerated include: the behavior's compulsive character-the person
feels driven to take care of others and come to their rescue as if it
were her duty and obligation to do so; its unconscious aspect-the
person cannot seem to understand why she feels driven nor why she
feels guilty when she says "no"; and, its overgeneralized and
indiscriminate stance-the need does not appear to be delimited to
family members alone.
Carandang theorizes that a large part ofthe tagasalo' s self-concept
becomes dependent on her ability to please others in the family
network. As the role is further reinforced by society, it takes on a
personality that is not questioned until the person becomes physically
and emotionally drained. Otherwise the syndrome goes on indefinitely
and indiscriminately.
In studying personality development in families, researchers like
Kidwell (1981) and Smith (1984) pointed to the importance oflooking
into family characteristics related to the structure of the sibling
relationship. These factors included birth order, sex composition of
siblings, number ofsiblings (family size), and spacing between siblings.
In a study examining the self-esteem of middleborn American
adolescent males compared with firstborns and lastborns, Kidwell

48 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2
 TheTagasalo Personality
• (1982) found that middleborns have a significantly lower self-esteem.
This was explained according to the "uniqueness theory" which
suggests that firstborns and lastborns enjoy an inherent uniqueness in
their birth order which facilitates status, recognition, and attention by
parents and other siblings. In contrast, there is no inherent uniqueness
in the position of middleborn child, whose role in the family is
consequently less well defined. Kidwell also found support for the
uniqueness phenomenon with regard to sex of siblings. Self-esteem
ofthe middle-born male was significantly enhanced when his siblings
• were all female than when they were all male or of mixed gender.
Smith's (1984) findings suggest that sex composition of the sibling
group might be more important and that birth order might be less
important for females than for males. He speculated on the theoretical
basis of his findings in relation to what he called the effects of
"structural differentiation ofpositions in sibling groups." He states:

A child in a family in which the majority of the children are of the other
sex has a more differentiated position than a child who is not in a "sex
minority." Likewise, a first- or lastborn is more differentiated from siblings

• than a middleborn, who is "surrounded" by siblings ... it was assumed

that structural differentiation ofa child's position would result in a more
"special" relationship with parents and thus, would increase the probability
of accurate perception of parental orientations. (p. 906)

Smith's theoretical rationale regarding structural differentiation

appears to be similar to Kidwell's uniqueness theory regarding siblings.
The preceding variations in sibling structure have been much
studied but according to Pocock (1992), they appear to account for
only 1-5% of the variance between siblings. He says that the most
• likely influences in shaping differential development appear to be
parental behavior, sibling interaction, influences outside the family
network such as school and peer relationships, and random experiences
such as accidents or illnesses to one sibling.
Anderson (1981) has said: "Regardless oftheoretical orientation,
there is little argument that the family is generally the most powerful
and the optimal context for individual development" (p. 35). Huston
and Robins (1982) explain that family relationships are likely to be
"more enduring, involve more frequent interaction, span a greater

• PHILIPPINE JOURNAL OF PSYCHOLOGY 49

 Udarbe

range ofactivities and be subject to a larger set ofcultural norms than

•
most other relationships" (p. 903). Yet in examining the family' s role,
we find it characterized as "wives' family sociology" relying on reports
by the wife as sole indicators offamily variables or school-based studies
relying on children's reports of family life (Jessop, 1981). In other
words, family research has relied heavily on the reports of individual
members rather than on dyads or the entire family system.
From a family-roles perspective, the idea that family members
develop certain roles in contrast to other members is similar to birth
order, but the roles are not systematically related to the position of ••
birth. Goldklank (1986) investigated family therapists' roles in their
families oforigin, including both the family therapists and their siblings
plus a control group of individuals in nonhelping professions (e.g.,
biochemists, CPAs, engineers). It was found that significantly more
family therapists played a caretaking role in their families oforigin in
contrast to their siblings. Furthermore, in contrast to the control group,
family therapists were more often advisors, important regulators of
their parents' self-esteem, mediators or linkers, moving in and out of
.being partners to their parents, linking family members, enacting what
Goldklank referred to as "parentified roles." The power of the study
lay in its inclusion of siblings who confirmed their differing roles from
•
those oftheir family therapist-siblings.
Family therapist Murray Bowen strongly believes that it is
important to go back to family of origin in order to understand the
family in the present (Foley, 1986). The central concept in Bowen's
theory is the undifferentiated family ego mass (Bowen, 1981), an
emotional closeness that exists in all families in varying degrees at
various periods of the family's life span. The basic building block of
this emotional system is the triangle. Bowen believes that in calm
periods, the two members of a triangle have a comfortable emotional
alliance; in times of stress, a third person may be triangled in order to
•
shift the tension within the system. The family ego mass gets built
through an ongoing process of interlocking triangles, extending over
generations. When little stress is experienced, all members of the
triangle may be able to relate as individuals. The ability to relate as a
differentiated individual is the primary goal of Bowenian therapy
(Hansen and L'Abate, 1982).

50 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2 .-
 TheTagasalo Personality

• Bowen's approach necessitates history taking, best served by using

genograms. A genogram is a format for drawing a family tree that
records information about family members and their relationships over
at least three generations (McGoldrick & Gerson, 1985). One may
enlist the help of family members in both the nuclear and extended
family of origin to get details about functions and roles, trying to
understand how these may have had an impact on the family members.
According to Foley (1986), "the reason why this or that child is
focused on in a given family is not always easily evident since the
• process may occur for a variety of reasons connected with the
developmental stages of the marriage" (p. 12).
In the Filipino family, Medina (1991) discusses two types of
socialization: deliberate or conscious and nondeliberate, unplanned
or unconscious. In deliberate socialization, the individual is explicitly
and directly taught the standards and values, the proper behavior, the
social obligations, and other expectations ofhis family and instructions
are carried out in actual behavior at home or elsewhere. In non-
deliberate socialization, the child learns these cultural values and norms
by him- or herself through observations and experiences and from
interaction with other people. Medina (1991) adds:

Traditionally, children are encouraged to. be dependent on the parents

and to strongly identify with the family. They are taught to be respectful
and obedient to authority, particularly to parents and elders, to be shy not
aggressive, to maintain excellent interpersonal relations with neighbors
and kinsmen, to be self-reliant and industrious, and to strive in order to
achieve and improve their economic condition. (p. 200)

Go (1993) believes that "obedience" is a prime value in the Filipino

child's socialization and that the extreme emphasis on this value gives
the parent-child relationship an authoritarian quality. She speaks of
"demand training" whereby parents send their children on errands or
have them assist in household tasks. She clarifies, however, that sexual
division in carrying out tasks is not as rigid as is commonly believed.
Go (1993) adds that although obedience to parents is the most
important, obedience to older siblings is also required. Medina (1991)
refers to this as a "quasi-paternal status" where the eldest child, whether
male or female, has authority, including the right to punish younger

•• PHILIPPINE JOURNAL OF PSYCHOLOGY 51

Udarbe

siblings for misbehavior. Ventura (1985) adds that Filipino parents

•
tend to be stricter in the enforcement of discipline for older children.
Go (1993) concludes:

The hierarchical structure of authority in the family, fostered by the early

socialization process which lays emphasis on obedience, nurturance of
one another, and avoidance of conflict, reinforces the solidarity and
cohesiveness within the Filipino family. The age-grading in the kinship
system, mediated by other factors such as sex and individual capacities,
clearly designates the roles and responsibilities of each member, not only
to the family as a whole, but also to one another as well. Thus, it enables
parents to control the behavior of its members and to maintain the
•
traditional attachment of the young to their family. (p. 63)

Medina (1991) thinks that modernization has brought about the

phenomenon of "generation gap" among some families where the
conservative parents and the Westernized children have some problems
in their relationships because of divergent values and behavior. In
general, however, she believes that most Filipino parents and children
have a combination of both traditional and modem traits, and have
thus adapted to one another.

Statement of the Problem

The primary concern in this study was with the dynamics behind
the development of the tagasalo personality. In general, the concern
here is with an explanation and a description ofthe tagasalo that is as
concise and as complete as can be, ranging from its origins, develop-
ment, behavioral dynamics, and consequences in adulthood. The
present study is a systematic investigation of Carandang's theory of
the tagasalo in the context ofthe Filipino family but not necessarily in
a clinical setting. til

"METHOD

Initially, the possibility of studying the individual was raised, but

it became clear that an understanding of the tagasalo would best be
accomplished in the context in which it developed. Thus, it became
necessary to study the phenomenon through the family systems

52 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2 ••
. TheTagasalo Personality

approach.
The procedure for data collection which includes the interview,
constructing of genograms, and administration of personality tests,
was tested with selected individuals. Revisions in the choice of
instruments were eventually made and the result was the present
battery. Much ofthe interview procedure evolved from this preliminary
exercise.

Research Design
• Ten families were selected for this research. The number of cases
indicates that research utilized a "multiple-case, replication design."
Comparisons oftagasalo were made on the basis of family members'
descriptions of the child identified as the tagasalo in each of the 10
families. Quantitative support was also sought from results of the
administration of three psychological tests to both the identified
tagasalo and the child identified as the least like the tagasalo in each
family.

Sample

• It was specified that each ofthe ten families should have at least
two children aged 18 to 35 years old, but no specifications were made
regarding gender. Each family was a middle-class urban family that
was not a clinic sample; that is, the family had not been referred for
therapy.

Instruments
For the purposes ofthis study, genograms were intended to provide
an efficient summary, making it easier for the researcher to keep in
• mind family members, patterns and events. An interview schedule
was used to obtain demographic data. This was follcwed by the major
part ofthe interview consisting ofquestions regarding perceptions of
the family members ofthe tagasalo in their family. Children were asked
to identify the tagasalo from among themselves; parents were asked
to identify the tagasalo from among their children. Each respondent
was also encouraged to identify the family member whom they
perceived as the tagasalo's opposite.

• PHILIPPINE JOURNALOF PSYCHOLOGY 53

Udarbe

Three psychological tests were administered to the identified

tagasalo and his/her opposite. The Heroic Myth Index (HMI) is a 72-
item instrument designed to help people better understand themselves
and others by identifying the different archetypes active in their lives.
The 12 archetypes are Innocent, Orphan, Warrior, Caregiver, Seeker,
Destroyer, Lover, Creator, Ruler, Magician, Sage, and Fool. The
California Psychological Inventory (CPI) is a personality test
developed specifically for use with normal adult populations (as
opposed to clinical samples). It is a 462-item, true-false instrument
that yields scores on 20 scales, including Dominance, Sociability, •.
Responsibility, Empathy, Independence, and so on. The Thematic
Apperception Test (TAT) is a projective test that helps reveal some of
the dominant drives, emotions, sentiments, complexes and conflicts
ofa personality. Twelve cards (i.e., cards 1 to 10, and 13 and 16) with
pictures were shown to each respondent and he/she was encouraged
to tell a story about each picture. The results of the HMI, the CPI,
and the TAT together were intended as tools for personality assessment
in order to come up with a personality profile ofthe identified tagasalo
and to explore correlates that differentiates him or her from other
members ofthe family. •.

RESULTS

Interviews with family members of ten families produced

descriptions of the child identified as the tagasalo (or the IT) and the
child least like the tagasalo (or the LT). Results were also obtained
for both the IT and the LT from the administration of the three
psychological tests. The tagasalo profile based on family structure
variables (i.e., gender, birth order, and number of children) can be •
seen clearly in Table [Link] follows is a briefanalysis ofthe tagasalo's
personality pattern. A more detailed description of the IT and the LT
in each family as well as each family's genogram may be found in
Udarbe (1998).
The results of this study reveal a wide range of characteristics
exhibited by the tagasalo, but certain patterns in behavior and attitude
did emerge. While this study did not cover all ofeach family's dynamics,
the fact that family members chose to discuss certain events or behavior

54 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2 •
 TheTagasalo Personality
• Table I. Tagasalo Profile Based on Family Structure Variables

Tagasalo Sibling Sequence male o female

A 0 0 o
B 0
C 0
D 0 0

..
E o 0
F 0 0
G 0 0
H 0
I 0 o
J

+ identified tagasalo
- least like the tagasalo

that stood out about the tagasalo warrants further examination. What
follows is an attempt at pointing out patterns in the dynamics of
tagasalo across families.
Sense of Responsibility. When family members were asked to

• identify the tagasalo in their family and to explain why they thought
so, they invariably described the person in terms ofthe extent towards
which he or she took on responsibility. There were various reasons
for the role's origins, such as birth order and father absence, but the
dynamics of the role were usually similar across families. First, the
tagasalo took on responsibility early in life, ifnot in their elementary
school years, by their teens at the latest. Examples of early chores
included helping in parents' businesses, preparing food for and feeding
younger siblings, and helping them with their homework. Second, the
responsibilities were of an "external" nature, that is, the actions did

• not simply involve taking on responsibility for the self, as in "shopping

alone in Singapore at age 9," but actions that were for the benefit of
others in the family. The question is: Why is a particular child chosen
to do particular chores? The concept ofresponsibility has many facets,
as shall be seen shortly.
The Abilityfor Listening. Perhaps the reason why certain people
are called upon to be the tagasalo is because their communication
lines with their parents are relatively open. Their parents can talk to

.. them, they listen, and they understand. This aspect is evident in such

PHILIPPINE JOURNALOF PSYCHOLOGY 55

 Udarbe

descriptions as "Mommy's listener" and parents' "shock absorber,"

•
"hindi sumasagot at hindi nagtatanim" (does not talk back or hold a
grudge). For some of the tagasalo in this study, the role of listener
developed at an early age, just as the sense of responsibility did. One
or the other of the parents would presumably require an outlet and
the tagasalo became the most reasonable one because of that ability
to listen and to absorb. As one mother says, "We needed a tagasalo in
the family" and her tagasalo daughter, in turn, acknowledges that she
is the one who "understands her family best."
The Need to Mediate. The tagasalo looks at this open relationship
with the parents in a positive way and feels bad that the other siblings
are not as open with their parents and, in fact, fear their parents. The
person's mediating role then becomes part and parcel of his role as a
tagasalo. lt is mainly from this mediating role where the tagasalo could
experience stress and subsequent burning out because ofthe emotion
involved, as evidenced in the statements, "Ako ang naiipit parati" (I
always get caught in the middle) or "I'm the one who has to
understand." lt is important to note that what the tagasalo seems to
desire is more open communication between parents and children and,
perhaps not as strongly, open communication between siblings. In
cases where it is the siblings who quarrel among themselves, the
tagasalo's role would be to mediate between siblings, presumably to
•
spare the parents the trouble. .
.The Need for Harmony. The feeling of wanting more. open
communication among family members leads to another of the
tagasalo's concerns, that of wanting some kind of harmony in the
family. The tagasalo "gets upset over conflict" or "cries" when family
members quarrel. The need then becomes one of "fixer," wanting to
resolve matters quickly and taking on the responsibility for doing so.
lt seems that the experience ofconflict in the family and the subsequent
stress that follows somehow leads to discomfort in the tagasalo so
•
much so that he or she wants to fix things quickly. At the very least,
the tagasalo's reactions are influential in immediately diffusing the
family situation during conflict.
The Need for Control. Perhaps,the most significant of the test
findings based on the HMI is not so much that the tagasalo has a
sense ofresponsibility, but that he or she is also concerned with having

56 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2
.
 TheTagasalo Personality

• a sense of power. There seems to be in the tagasalo the need to be in

control, but not necessarily to be controlling. In other words, the
tagasalo is tasked with taking full responsibility for his or her life, not
necessarily to control other people, but to be more in control ofhis or
her own self, ifthe findings are to be based on HMI interpretation. Of
course, taking responsibility for the selfmight be at issue. Nevertheless,
there is the controlling of others as well and such descriptions as
disciplinarian, managing, assertive, dominant, Mr-Know-It-All,
presumptuous, and bossy cannot be ignored. The tagasalo in this study
• has indeed had some influence on the family's dynamics so much so
that family members "don't fight in his presence" or "avoid him until
his mood changes." A sibling seen as the least like the tagasalo in his
family described himself as one who "does not interfere in people's
lives," perhaps implying that the tagasalo does. Inherent in the
aforementioned actions is the "power" that the tagasalo holds.
The Parents as Central. Still and all, it cannot be denied that the
parents are central in the tagasalo make-up. The tagasalo is accessible
and held responsible precisely because of his or her relationship with
the parents. The tagasalo wants family harmony presumably to please

,
• parents and takes on various responsibilities to spare them the trouble.
One might see tagasalo behavior going beyond the immediate family,
but for the most part, what the tagasalo does is founded on the very
• need to get parental approval and appreciation. Indeed, even as the
tagasalo behaves as he or she does in order to be "protective ofsiblings"
or to "find alibis" for them, his or her actions are still dependent on
parental behavior and expectations. One tagasalo goes on work leave
because his father needs help with the business; another's travel plans
are put on hold because "Who's going to take care ofMom and Dad?"
In both examples, the tagasalo is a younger sibling and not the eldest
• in birth order.
Capacity for Caring. The capacity for caring needs further
elaboration because it is not only directed towards parents, but to
others as well, and not just within the immediate family but beyond it.
Descriptions ofgenerosity, approachability, and thoughtfulness appear
to be indicative ofthis capacity for caring. Somewhere in the tagasalo's
personality is the need to go beyond the self, to reach out, so to speak.
This is like the sense of responsibility in its outward or external

PHILIPPINE JOURNAL OF PSYCHOLOGY 57

Udarbe

direction, originating from within the tagasalo and benefiting someone

.-
else. This aspect ofthe tagasalo ofcaring and self-sacrifice appears to
be the image that one generally associates with the tagasalo. It seems
that there is confirmation of its presence, as shown in the descriptions
oftagasalo in this study.
The Tagasaloas Sibling. One is able to see a lot more about the
tagasalo when viewed in the context of siblings. In particular, one
may see the tagasalo in another light when the question is raised,
"Who do you think is the least like him or her among the siblings?" In
family descriptions ofthe sibling identified as the least like the tagasalo,
one invariably notes signs of rebellion or at least some family event
.-
that caused some emotional upheaval or tension. In most cases, this
sibling was usually the "family isolate," to borrow a term cited by
Leigh (1986).
Seen in this context, one can almost tangibly feel the tagasalo
moving in the opposite direction. The parents continue to be central,
naturally, but there seems to be some pushing and pulling and the
tagsalo finds him- or herself caught in the middle, trying to distract
parental attention by being the opposite. In other words, it is not so
much the least like the tagasalo who tries to be the tagasalo's opposite,
even though the manner ofthis research implied such. It is the tagasalo
•
who tries to be the least like the sibling who has contributed the most
to the family's emotional turmoil. The immediate action seems to be
ofa distracting nature. The tagasalo gets anxious, feels uncomfortable
or upset, and tries to distract attention to his or her more "positive"
acts of tagasalo for the household and for siblings.
Capacityfor Emotional Distance. Perhaps one other characteristic
which seems descriptive ofthe tagasalo is the capacity to be detached.
Whether it comes from being burdened with the family's concerns or
a predisposing tendency to intellectualize (a Freudian defensive
maneuver), the tagasalo inevitably distances the self from everything
•
he or she is faced with. Logically, it must be assumed, especially in the
case of the noncompulsive tagasalo, that one has to somehow keep
the selffrom drowning in helplessness or uncertainty, though this could
happen in initial stages of stress. One has to make decisions, one has
to be in control in order to carry the family's burdens. This latter trait
is perhaps the reason why the tagasalo's siblings tendto view the

58 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2
 TheTagasalo Personality

tagasalo in such a negative light. The tagasalo is helpful, it is

acknowledged, but does the tagasalo also have to come across as
unfeeling? Many ofthe tagasalo in this study felt misunderstood. There
are many other reactions to stress in the tagasalo in this study (e.g.,
moodiness, withdrawal, intensity, crying, physical injuries, and fatigue).
Detachment seems to be the most frequently perceived, and perhaps,
the tagasalo' s most frequently used, defense mechanism.

• DISCUSSION

Consider again Carandang's theory of the tagasalo. There is first

a compulsion to care for others as if it were a duty and an obligation
to do so. Second, the need is unconscious and the person does not
understand why he or she is driven nor why there is guilt over inaction.
Third, the tagasalo has a tendency to overextend the self and
indiscriminately be a "catch-all." Where does a need to be a tagasalo
come from? What dynamics operate for the tagasalo? This study
sought to discover the answers to these questions and it may have
•• done just that and more.
First, it is now known that although sibling structure variables
such as the person's gender and birth order might be related to the
development oftagasalo, there is no particular pattern that can claim
exclusive cause.
Carandang had previously theorized that the tagasalo is usually
female and usually the middleborn, if not the eldest. This study has
shown that many males are the tagasalo in their families. The tagasalo
may also be a younger sibling, but more often than not, an older sibling.

• This latter finding may be due to the sample's being a nonclinical one.
Bulatao (1998) has suggested looking into the "Ate" (older sister)
pattern versus the tagasalo pattern. But a "Kuya" (older brother)
pattern bears further examination also because many ofthe identified
tagasalo were elder males. In light of the Ate or Kuya patterns, it
might no longer be surprising that many ofthe needs that came out on
the "tagasalo factor" were achievement needs, such as the need to do
a good job, the need to achieve great fame, the need to work, and the
need to make money .

• PHILIPPINE JOURNALOF PSYCHOLOGY 59

Udarbe

There was some support for the theories of structural

differentiation or uniqueness. It might be recalled that Kidwell (1981)
and Smith (1984) theorized that a person not in a sex minority or one
who is surrounded by siblings (i.e., not a first- or a last born), is not in
a differentiated position, and therefore, not unique. However, there
were only two middleboms.
It is still believed, however, that the tagasalo personality was not
as much influenced by the aforementioned family structure variables
as they were by parental behavior, sibling interaction, and random
expenences. ••
A second point, therefore, is that whatever the tagasalo really is
now has much to do with parental expectations and behavior. In the
literature review, it may be recalled, Bowen discussed a theory of
family systems in relation to triangles and alliances. In this study, it
has been found, that whenever triangles were observed, one or both
parents were inevitably present, and, usually, the tagasalo was the
one in the middle, either between parents, or between parent(s) and
siblings. The tagasalo is the one who, in Bowen's terms, gets triangled
in, to relieve the tension.
It might be recalled that Goldklank (1986) wrote of "parentified
roles": how certain family members more often were advisors,
important regulators oftheir parents self-esteem, mediators or linkers,
moving in and out ofbeing partners to their parents. In this description
can be found the essence of the tagasalo personality.
Bowen also spoke ofthe differentiation ofself from one's family.
He believes that ail human functioning is on a continuum from
enmeshment or almost no differentiation of self at one end and
independence and maturity at the other end. It is assumed that the
tagasalo in this study in general are moving (or have moved) towards
maturity and independence so much so that between the tagasalo and
•
the parents, there is an emotional closeness, but there is also an
emotional distance. Thislatter observation is probably borne of the
study's nonclinical sample again where presumably some form of
individuation has occurred in the tagasalo. Perhaps more of an
emotional fusion would be found in a clinical sample.
But why does the tagasalo feel that he or she must please his or
her parents? We have seen the kind of attention, negative though it

60 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2 ••
 TheTagasalo Personality
• may be, that the least like the tagasalo receives. In this sense,
Carandang's theory that the tagasalo feels unrecognized and strives
for attention through acts that are socially approved of is confirmed.
However, from this study, it does not appear that the tagasalo feels
unloved as well, as Carandang theorized. The tagasalo might feel
dependent or unppreciated, but that seems to stem from being
overwhelmed by the responsibilities he or she has taken on, not from
a lack of love form the parents, to begin with. In fact, the tagasalo
seems to occupy a position of distinction: he or she has the ear of the
• parents, a privilege that the siblings both appreciate and dislike.
A third factor, therefore, must take into consideration the power
angle. The tagasalo in this study did not, or chose not to, discuss
being powerful or dominant. Perhaps the tagasalo did not see this as
one of any major importance even as the siblings all referred to the
tagasalo's controlling (i.e., managing) aspects. The power angle did
come out in test data as well. This is perhaps where the unconscious
dimension of tagasalo comes from: the lack of awareness that he or
she is driven by the need for power.

•
Therefore, this study attempts some reframing on the theory of
tagasalo. Where before the tagasalo was viewed as a passive recipient
ofresponsibilities and obligations, being acted upon by external forces
seemingly beyond his or her control, now it may be said that the
tagasalo is actually an active individual who makes a significant impact
on the family. To borrow a term used by family members, the tagasalo
is actually the "prime mover," a very influential person in the family's
life.
In sum, the findings ofthis study must be viewed from the following
perspectives: (a) it is a study based on a nonclinical sample, (b) it is a

• study that is based on a family systems approach, and (c) it is a study

that both negates from and adds to Carandang's theory oftagasalo.
The tagasalo in the Filipino family can either be male or female
and can be ofany birth category. What is important is that somewhere
in the family system and at various periods ofa family's life, alliances
may experience stress and the person who gets recruited, or triangled
in, to relieve stress is the tagasalo. The tagasalo does not fulfill the
role because he or she lacks love and attention. The tagasalo fulfills
the role because he or she feels that someone must be in control ofthe

PHILIPPINEJOURNAL OF PSYCHOLOGY 61
Udarbe

situation and must set some form of order.

•
The tagasalo also feels discomfort iii times of stress; he or she
feels most uncomfortable, it seems, and logically takes control with
his or her strong sense of responsibility, capacity for caring, abilities
for listening and mediating, the strong need for harmony, and the
capacity for emotional detachment.

SIGNIFICANCE OF THE STUDY

This study was conducted with the end in view of possibly

•
contributing to the theory and practice ofpsychology and it is believed
that it has done so. Much ofCarandang's original theory ofthe tagasalo
was confirmed or elaborated upon in a systematic study that was
nonclinical in nature.
Carandang had theorized that the tagasalo might be a dependent
person needing to be taken care of. On the contrary, it has been found
that it is the family system that is dependent on the existence oftagasalo.
Carandang also speculated on the role's unconscious aspects:
"How come the tagasalo feels she has no choice about it? Where does
the need to take care come from?" Itis now believed that the tagasalo
•
role does not develop from the feeling ofbeing unloved butthe feeling
of wanting to be more in control. The tagasalo in this study did not
bring up the sense of power or dominance even though other family
members did, and it came out in test data as well. Perhaps the closest
that some tagasalo got to expressing this aspect had to do with not
knowing why there was a lack ofunderstanding of what they tried to
do for the family and the feeling of guilt over impatience and
intolerance. It is now theorized that it is from this controlling stance
or power angle which the tagasalo personality derives its unconscious
aspect. To control, to decide, to be powerful-these are easily superior
.-
roles that the tagasalo would not readily admit precisely because it
appears incompatible with the concept of caring and sacrifice.
At the very least, it is felt that this possible explanation for the
tagasalo's unconscious element is significant in its elaboration of
Carandang's theory.

62 VOLUME 34 NUMBER 2
./"
 TheTagasalo Personality

• The issue then becomes one concerning application. How can the
tagasalo be helped in order that he or she finds the role more acceptable
and more manageable. And how can the indiscriminate aspect of
tagasalo now be prevented so that the tagasalo does not become
compulsive and bum out as a result?
This has implications for both the Filipino family and psychologists.
Somewhere in the family system, some caring and responsible
individual takes on the family's concerns; that is, someone takes on
the role oftagasalo. It becomes a cycle ofconvenience for the family .
• That the role becomes indiscriminate and overextended is not only
the responsibility ofthe tagasalo, but ofthe family as well. Therefore,
family members must be made aware ofthe tagasalo's limitations and
set limits on the degree towards which they unload their burdens on a
single family member.
Psychologists must be made aware ofthese dynamics themselves.
Therapy ofthe compulsive tagasalo has traditionally involved making
the individual realize that he or she has a choice, presumably because
the individual is unaware of this. But, as has been shown, there is
more to the tagasalo's unconscious aspect. There must be added

• awareness of one's need for control and the harnessing of this need
for positive outcomes ought to be worked through in therapy as well.
Perhaps the tagasalo can now be made to understand that it is
within in his or her power to choose not to be a tagasalo in everything
or to everyone. The tagasalo can now view the role in its more positive
aspects, as one of privilege. But the tagasalo must be made to
understand as well that all roles have inherent responsibilities. It is
within the tagasalo's capability to control oneselfso that one does not
become an intellectual monster-powerful, but detached. On the basis

• of their need for more self-control, it appears that they are taking
steps in that direction.
This study began with the premise that the tagasalo personality is
seen in a negative light because it can become indiscriminate and
compulsive. Now the study has shown that this does not have to be
the case. It is within the individual's own capacity to choose to be
simply caring or to care too much, knowing that he or she does not
suffer from being unloved.

• PHILIPPINE JOURNAL OF PSYCHOLOGY 63

Udarbe

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•