Makes You Happy
How can you make yourself happy? This question lies at the heart of
many goals that people pursue. Happiness, often described as involving
positive emotions and life satisfaction, can indeed be cultivated in several
ways. In addition to adding happiness-inducing elements to your lifestyle,
you can also work on your habitual thought patterns to foster a more
optimistic outlook.
In order to make yourself happy, you should explore the current state of
your life, assess your level of happiness, and find a direction to work toward
that will likely bring greater joy and contentment. Keep in mind, however,
that happiness means different things to different people.
Identify What Makes You Happy
The first step to making yourself happy is to figure out what things in life
bring you joy and contentment. This means assessing the things that
actually bring you joy and not what societal expectations tell you about joy.
Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the idea of what you think will make
you happy rather than what actually does. People strive for that perfect
relationship, the perfect house, the beautiful body, the approval of others, all
in an attempt to be happy.
Sometimes these things make us happy; other times, we stress over not
having reached our goals, or we reach them and find that we’re still not
happy. Other times, we focus so intensely on one goal that’s thought to
bring happiness that we don’t have time for other things in our life that will
make us truly happy.
Factors That Boost Happiness
Positive psychology experts—those who study human happiness and the
factors that contribute to it—have identified several key areas of life that
seem to be more related to personal happiness. Some factors include:
Money
Friends
Health
Living conditions
Neighborhood
Spirituality
Community involvement
Sense of meaning and purpose in life
Being dissatisfied with some of these areas is not necessarily a recipe for
unhappiness and being satisfied in most of these areas is no guarantee for a
life of bliss. However, if you’re more satisfied with these areas of your life,
you tend to be happier in general.
Focusing on some of these key areas may help increase your levels of
happiness in your daily life. Look for ways that you can make changes, even
if they are just small changes at first, that will help you feel more content.
Making healthy choices, getting involved in things you are passionate about,
and developing a strong social support network may help.
How Your Attitude Affects Happiness
Lifestyle, however, is only part of the happiness equation.
Your attitude about life and the things that happen to you each day can also
greatly impact your overall level of happiness and life satisfaction.
It’s probably no secret that optimists tend to be happier people, but you
may not realize that there’s more to optimism than "putting on a happy
face" or "looking on the bright side." There are specific traits that bring
optimists more success, greater health, and increased life satisfaction.
Cultivating the mind of an optimist can not only mean cultivating happiness,
regardless of your circumstance, but it can actually bring more things into
your life to be happy about.
In addition to optimism, happy people tend to have an internal locus of
control. Simply put, they tend to believe that they are the masters of their
fate rather than the victims of circumstance.
When you view the stressors of your life as a challenge rather than a threat,
you tend to come up with more effective solutions. You also feel more
exhilarated (rather than drained) as you tackle these circumstances.
Finding Balance
Many people pursue goals that they expect will make them happy, but
happiness isn’t always the end result. We all know people who have put
everything they have into their careers—at the expense of their personal
lives—only to wonder why they’re successful and still unhappy.
It’s also all too common for people to be surrounded by a beautiful home,
expensive cars, designer clothes (and sometimes mounds of debt) and still
have less personal satisfaction with life than they had without all the “stuff.”
So how can you know which goals will garner personal happiness and which
won’t?
In order to make yourself happy, you need to find balance. A good job and
financial stability can be important for happiness, but you must also balance
those things with other factors that promote happiness including your
health, your relationships, and other meaningful pursuits.
There's no happiness quick fix. It's a balancing act, so don't devote the lion’s
share of energy to pursuing a single goal to the exclusion of other important
lifestyle factors.
As you set your goals, remember all of the areas of life that are important to
you. Map out a detailed description of how you would like your whole life to
look, or set goals and develop healthy habits for a different area of your life
each month.
Work Toward Your Goals
Whether setting goals as New Year’s resolutions or as part of a quest for an
improved life, many people sabotage themselves from the beginning by
expecting too much and setting themselves up to fail.
For example, many people expect to immediately change their habits out of
sheer willpower; any slip-ups are experienced as "failures" and too often
contribute to an abandonment of the goal and feelings of defeat.
If you’re trying to make positive changes in your life, it’s important to set
yourself up to succeed:
1. First, set small, attainable goals. Work your way into a new habit
with baby steps, and you’ll feel more successful every step of the way,
and be less likely to give up.
2. Next, reward your progress. For each small goal you reach, allow
yourself to feel pride, and perhaps give yourself a small reward.
3. Don’t forget to enlist social support. Tell the supportive people in
your life what you’re attempting to achieve, and tell them about your
successes. This will give you added strength, and will make it less
appealing to give up (and have to explain yourself to those close to
you).
Like everything else, making yourself happier is a process, so give yourself
time to make the changes and see the changes.
Daily Happiness Habits
While it is important to pursue long-term solutions to promote your
happiness, there are also small things you can do that can make you happier
in the present moment. Some of these include:
Keep a gratitude journal. Research suggests that feeling a greater
sense of gratitude may also promote more feelings of happiness. In
one study, participants wrote a daily gratitude list for 14 days and
later showed higher levels of positive feeling, greater subjective
happiness, and an increase life satisfaction.1
Go for a walk. Research has shown that walking can be a great way
to boost mood.2 Exercise itself can have a positive impact on mood and
mental well-being, but you can maximize the impact by going for a
stroll outdoors if possible. Physical movement, spending time in
nature, and getting some exposure to sunlight can all be great ways to
boost your feelings of happiness in the present moment.
Seek wonder. Studies have found that people who experience a
sense of awe tend to have lower stress and greater feelings of
satisfaction.3 You can increase your chances of having awe-
inspiring peak experiences by staying curious about the world around
you. Work on learning new things, pay attention to your environment,
and focus on living in the moment.
If you are struggling to find happiness and coping with feelings of low mood,
consider talking to your doctor or mental health professional. Feelings of
unhappiness may be a symptom of depression. Talking to a professional can
help you get the treatment you need to feel better, which may
involve psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of both.
A Word From Verywell
Finding ways to make yourself happy often starts with small steps that help
you work toward long-term goals. So spend some time thinking about the
things that will help you feel happy and satisfied in your life and consider
some of the ways that you can work toward some of those goals.
Just remember that happiness isn't a destination. It is a process of creating
a life that brings you joy, purpose, and fulfillment. You don't need to wait to
become happy; there are steps you can take each day to feel better and
more content.
