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Assertive Communication Techniques Guide

The document outlines the principles of assertive communication, emphasizing the importance of respecting both one's own rights and those of others. It provides tips for effective communication, including the use of 'I' statements, clear expression of needs, and maintaining a present-focused conversation. Additionally, it introduces the XYZ formula for structuring assertive communication effectively.

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bailey
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190 views1 page

Assertive Communication Techniques Guide

The document outlines the principles of assertive communication, emphasizing the importance of respecting both one's own rights and those of others. It provides tips for effective communication, including the use of 'I' statements, clear expression of needs, and maintaining a present-focused conversation. Additionally, it introduces the XYZ formula for structuring assertive communication effectively.

Uploaded by

bailey
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Cornell

Health Assertive Communication


Live Well to Assertive communication involves interacting in a way that respects both your rights and the rights
Learn Well of others. Assertive communication often results in one’s needs being met, while also promoting
Web:
respectful relationships. The ability to appropriately ask for and obtain what you need, while
[Link]
preserving important relationships, has numerous benefits for your physical and emotional well-being.

Phone (24/7):
607-255-5155
Communication Styles
Passive-
Fax: Passive Aggressive Assertive
607-255-0269 Aggressive
Appointments: √ Respectful ø Respectful ø Respectful √ Respectful
Monday–Saturday √ Appropriate ø Appropriate ø Appropriate √ Appropriate
Check web for hours, ø Honest ø Honest √ Honest √ Honest
services, providers,
ø Direct ø Direct √ Direct √ Direct
and appointment
information
Others’ needs are Neither person’s Your own needs are Needs are equal.
the priority. needs are met. the priority.
110 Ho Plaza,
Ithaca, NY Assertive Communication Tips
14853-3101
1. Use “I” statements that focus on how you feel in a specific situation.“I” statements help the
listener know exactly how you feel and why you feel that way. “I” statements reduce the likelihood
that the listener will feel accused, blamed, or defensive. Example: “I feel disrespected when you
show up late without calling.”
2. State your needs clearly. Don’t assume the other person knows what you want or how you prefer
* Adapted from to see them behave. Don’t make them guess — tell them what you need or how you would like
Hunter, Goodie, Oordt, things to be different in the future. Example: “I would like you to call ahead of time when you know
& Dobmeyer, 2009 that you will be late.”
3. Keep the conversation present-focused. Try to avoid bringing up the past, or using statements such
as “you always” or “you never.” Maintaining present-focus allows you to address one need at a
time, and can prevent feelings of frustration that may lead to conflict escalation.
4. Practice good non-verbal skills. Speak calmly, stand or sit-up straight, and look the other person in
the eye, without glaring.

The XYZ* Formula for Assertive Communication


I feel X when you do Y in situation Z and I would like
emotion specific behavior specific situation what you want
I would like you to
when you’re on your
I feel disrespected and I’m trying to sleep text instead of talking
phone at night
after 10 pm.
I would like to know
when you bring your plans ahead
and you don’t talk with
I feel uncomfortable someone home for the of time so I can
me about it first
night make other plans if I
choose.
when we don’t discuss I’d like us to reserve
I feel anxious the progress on my at our weekly meetings some time each week
research to discuss it.

[Link] 10/18/19

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