To Have And To Have Not

By Michelle Phakathi

Chapter One
"She's GONE?!!!...What do you mean she's
gone…No...You told me...didn't you tell me that she is
being discharged this Friday??It was you wasn't it?!!You
said to me she is coming home this very Friday so what
do you mean she's gone?!"
"Pamella calm down,we're sorry"
"Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"
Just then a loud ring lets [Link]'s the [Link]
alarm?!Arrrghhhh I was having a horrible dream which is
all I wanted for it to be 5 years ago,just a dream but as
life would have it this was my dreadful [Link] day I
lost my grandmother.
I kick back the covers and rest my head against the
headboard,I am [Link] alarm rings again,I could
simply just hit snooze like all the other days but I cannot
go back to sleep after that.
I look at the time it's 7am and the date is 29 July and 5
years ago exactly on this day I lost my grandmother
maybe that's why I had that dream,was it telling me
something??
My train of thought is disturbed by my ringing phone,it's
Dad.
Me:"Hello"
Dad:"Hello what your dog??"
This man is such a drama queen
Me:"No my handsome not stingy dad"
He chuckles and I can just see him shaking his head
Dad:"How are you doctor?"
Me:"Good sir how can I help you?"
Dad:"Aye doctor I have a problem..."
Me:"I charge by the nanosecond where family is
concerned"
I say cutting him off.
Dad:"Ha ha,you're a rip off.I'll just write my problems
down or tell them to God."
Me:"Ay no Dad I lied you are stingy"
We both laugh.
Me:"How are you dad,things okay back home?"
Dad:"I'm fine kid,everything's good except for my
kraal...still empty."
He gives a shallow [Link] we go,it's too early in the
morning for dad to ask me for a son in law.
Me:"You know if I stay on this call any longer he might
just miss me so I really have to go,your son-in-law awaits
for me to find him."
I say sarcastically and I can feel him rolling his [Link]
man!!
Dad:"Alright,alright I know when I'm being cut off,have a
nice day short stuff"
Oh can we not!
Me:"Thank you dad,I love you."
After having said that he immediately drops the phone
on me no "I love you back" kant what was the purpose of
this call???
Jehova!!!!I am so going to be late for my morning
[Link].
I have exactly 20 minutes left to make it to campus early.I
jump off the bed and slip in my slippers and grab my
toiletry bag and out I go to the bathroom.I hurry back to
my room to get my phone.
Ever sat at the toilet doing your business and then you're
like damn I left my phone and then you start looking
around and reading the back of an air freshener???Yeahh
[Link] goes to prove how we as humans have a short
attention span and our phones have such a huge hold on
us.
Ok back to me taking a bath,I'm in and out of that
bathroom in no time and scurry back to my room to
dress up.
Me:"Nonz I can't talk right now girl I'm getting ready."
Nontobeko is my girlfriend my ride or die we've been
friends since high school and we go to the same campus
but she lives at the Res.
Nonz:"Well shoot me for wanting to check up on you."
Oh and also she's a no nonsense taker and has attitude
like the one she's giving me right now.
Me:"Sorry baby(I apologize just for peace sake).I'll see
you in a bit."I say this and hang up which she will
probably give me grief for.
I lotion my body and take off the doek and comb my
[Link] toes are always and I mean always perfectly
manicured because I'm a huge fan of flip flops,I could
walk to the ends of the world with them.
So I pull on my flops and an African tribal printed yellow
dress,it looks like I'm wearing an oversized dashiki but
whatever.
There's a knock at my door.
Me:"Coming!"
I haven't found the beauty in make up as yet so for me I
just put on a little lipstick and mascara and that's it.I take
my bag and leave without making the bed,probably
won't even have breakfast which is a norm for me.
Me:"Anne Mae"I say as I hug her.
It's Anele my other best friend in total I have 2 best
friends which are practically like my own sisters [Link]'s
Anele and Nontobeko,Anele I met here in Uni and we
happen to be housemates so we kicked it.
Anne:"Hurry up Mama Africa"she says and literally drags
me down the hall way out the door.
Oh no she did not just diss an outfit I didn't even put that
much effort in!
"Ahh Miss Musa how nice of you to finally grace us with
your presence"
If it isn't Mr Hlongwane mocking me for being late.I pay
no mind to him and grab the nearest seat just to take
away the attention from me.
I take out my stationary and settle down then Mr
Hlongwane proceeds with the [Link] queen!
I'm 15 minutes late but still I have a whole 45 minutes
left in this lecture,what witchery is this!!!
"Your hair looks great"a female voice says next to me.
Me:"Thanks"
"The name is Nokwanda Mtolo,I'm a transfer student"
Me:"Hi I'm Pamella Musa,I've been here forever"
Literally I didn't know that studying psychology takes so
long but hey I have a passion for it so here we are!
Mr Hlongwane:"And that ladies and gentleman
and...Pamella(he pauses and looks at me to see if I'm
looking)is all the psychology for today"
I take my phone out and hurriedly take pictures of notes
I'll probably never look at again and then pack up my
stuff.
Nokwanda:"It was nice knowing you,here's to many
more sit togethers"she pulls me in for a hug and I return
it because she's already got me in her arms.
She lets go and smiles no man this girl is too friendly.
I turn to take my leave but Mr Hlongwane decides
otherwise...
Him:"Pamella"
I turn and look at him.
"If I may?"he asks which really isn't a question.
"Yes sir"I walk towards his table with my head in my
shoulders wanting to appear remorseful since I know
we'll be discussing my late coming.
Him:"So what was it today?"
Helang "what was it" does he keep record of every
excuse I make??
Me:"It was nothing really sir(akere the truth will set you
free they said),just had a minor headache from the night
before(a little white lie for zest)"
Him:"Hmmn(he don't believe me)and how are you
feeling today?"he asks concern audible in his voice and
visible on his face but I know it's fake because me and
him both know I'm lying.
Me:"I'm much much better sir,thanks for asking"two can
play his game.
Him:"Next time you're feeling unwell don't show up"
Erhh!Hayibo he must not tempt me otherwise I'll always
be "feeling unwell".
Him:"Rather go to the doctor and have him clear you to
come in"
Ohooo
Me:"Will do"I say hoping this conversation is over luckily
he dismisses before I can ask to be excused.

During my lunch break I head over to the canteen and

find both my girls already [Link] gives me a stinging
look and I know it's for dropping the call on her
[Link] I hug her and she smacks me.
Me:"What was that for"I fake cry.
Nonz:"Ufuna ngikphinde?"
Me:"Not at all Friend-zilla"
She attempts to smack me again and I take cover behind
Anele.
Anele:"Yey don't include me in your madness"
We all laugh and then take our seats and have lunch.
When done we head back to class and I have 3 more
hours worth of lecturers and in all honesty I have but one
lecture left in me.

At exactly 4pm it's home time!And I can not wait to go

home and sleep.
"Mind if I join you??"
Hebana it's the friendly Nokwanda girl.
Me:"I'm not sure we're headed to the same place" this is
code for nahhh fam you can't join me.
Her:"Actually we are,I saw you this morning as I left for
school"sadly she can't read code or take hints.
Me:"Ohhh ohh really?"
Her:"Yes the res is full around this time of year"she says
all giddy.
Nonz makes her way towards us and saves me from this
chatterbox.
Nonz:"Mind if I steal her for an ETERNITY?"
I give her a look Nonz is so possessive.
Nokwanda:"Not at all,see you back at the house"she says
and walks away.
Nonz:"Back at whose house?"
Me:"She just moved in our house"
She mouths ohhh and folds her arms,I know an argument
is coming.
Her:"Just moved in you say and already you're best buds"
Told ya.
Me:"Not now devil"
Her:"Why so serious...where to from here?"
Me:"[Link]"
Her:"Girl on a Friyay???Ok what have you done to my
friend?"
I chuckle Nonz loves to party,she is the life of the party
and the party itself.
Right there and then it is decided that we are going to
the mall,bitch should've just said ufuna ngimkhaphe
because all we're doing here is buying her toiletries and
all that.
We're at Woolworths now and I've had it phela I was
kidnapped into coming here to begin with.
She sees that I'm restless and takes my arm.
Her:"Come on,we're almost done"
Me:"Ai Nonz "we were almost done" 30 minutes ago!"I
sulk,she holds in a laugh.
She drags me and I reluctantly follow and whala we're in
the wine aisle.
Her:"Here we are"
Me:"Friend why do I feel like this is the only aisle we'll
ever walk down on?" for real though we haven't been
that lucky relationship wise.
Her:"That's because wine will never let us down and I will
walk down this aisle to my happily ever after...these"she
says picking up 2 bottle of white and red [Link] giggle
and then go pay and then take the party home.
Saturday morning,I usually don't have plans on weekends
more this year since I'm doing my final [Link] always
I've slept in,nothing new and I have somewhat of a
hangover.
Nontobeko spent the night,yes we had the wine and chat
the whole night away together with Anele but neither of
them are in the room.
I get up,make the bed and collect the plates from last
night and go wash them in the kitchen.
I then go wash my face and brush my teeth before
retiring to my room again.
I plug in my phone to charge and I am met by 3 missed
calls,one from the big brother and 2 from big sis.
I ring up Sbo first short for Sboniso my big brother.
Sbo:"Finally she resurrects"
I shouldn't have called.
Him:"Thank you so much little sis for your heartfelt
birthday wish"he continues to mock me.
Uneme lo but two can play the game
Me:"Oh that's today?"I ask shocked I even gasp for
dramatic effect.
Him:"Wow really.."he says sounding disappointed me I
just laugh akere waphapha.
Me:"How's the birthday coming along?"
Him:"Great but nothing much has happened not even a
text from my little sister"
I'm suprised that he can tell who's little between me and
him njengoba kuyena otefayo njengamanje.
I clear my throat.
Me:"Happy birthday to you,happy birthday to youuu..."
Him:"That just about does it"he says cutting off my
singing.
Me:"And that's all you're getting"
Him:"Yeah I wouldn't expect much from a student"
Wow he's really gonna go there.
Me:"Ok big shot,Mr Environmentalist buy yourself a
present from me"
He chuckles,dummy!
Him:"Listen I've gotta run babes,talk later"
*silence*
Him:"Pamella?"
Me"Yes"
Him:"Please get out of bed"he says and hangs up.
Mxm if only he knew I was long out of [Link]'s on him.

"Babe we're going out on big brother's [Link]

[Link] get back to me as soon as you get the
message and get out of [Link]"a voicemail from big sis.
I roll my eyes bezwe ngam yin ukuth angikovuk??
Let me get ready but first let me put up this douchebag
as my display picture on whatsapp and wish him a happy
[Link] time to freshen up.

I'm not that much a fan of dressing up because for one

I'm a homebody I like comfortable clothes to snuggle up
in my couch.
I opt for a pair of faded blue jeans and a white sheer
blouse together with you know what-my flip [Link]
afro is combed and I have hoops on then I take my purse
and leave.
I take a taxi to town and from there I take another one to
Gateway.
I'm there in half an hour and baby girl is nowhere to be
seen so I text her.
I'm here
Tashas wait there she replies.

I make my way over to Tashas and get a table for two

phela I'm not expecting her to bring anyone else other
than herself and her credit card.
She comes in after a good 10 [Link] time!!!
We share a hug.
Me:"You smell like money"I joke.
Nomandla is her name and in short I call her Noma.
Her:"Oh you noticed,it's a fragrance by "hard work" you
should try it"
She is such a diva with sass.
Me:"Unfair,I'm still a student"I whine.
Her:"I can tell by just looking at that hair"
Bathong kanti what did I do??
She waves down a waiter and places our order.
Me:"I'm low on money babes but I know that my big sis
will come through with that pharmacist cheque"I say
confidently and pleadingly.I am really broke.
She laughs at me,this girl.
Her:"So how's school?"
Oh so she'll just brush me off like that?
Me:"It's at it's worst shame,the work keeps piling up and
sleep is so rare"I whine.
Her:"Nanokulala uyakthanda"she winks at me.
Me:"Ai Noma maaan ave wonakele" we both chuckle.
Our food arrives and we dig in while sharing good laughs
and having meaningless conversations.

We throw in a couple of selfies together with a couple of

SHOPPING [Link] luxuries of being a last born and
having two older siblings with healthy [Link].
Her:"You know I would drive you back honey but duty
calls"
Me:"It's okay lover"I say and hug her.
Her:"Let me call you an Uber at least"she says taking out
her phone from her bag.
Me:"Here you go with your coconut tendencies,an uber
won't be necessary.I'll take a taxi dade"she rolls her eyes
at me.
Her:"Mxm okay then,send me a selfie when you get to
the house so I'll know you're home safe"
We laugh and I hug her once more,she gets in her car
and drives off,but stops and hoots good bye as she
makes her way out of the underground parking.I smile
and wave her off.

I then make my way back inside the mall to go catch a

taxi.
As I am rushing out a male voice behind me excuses
himself so I stop.
When I turn hallelujah,there is this seriously hot
specimen in front me trying to catch my attention with
his many "excuse me miss" [Link] has my attention
now that's for sure.
His lips curve into a [Link]'s he smiling for???Oh
damn.I'm staring.I feel my cheeks heat up I'm so
embarrassed.
Fine ass male specimen:"Excuse me once again"
Me:"You're excused"I say in a high pitch voice this usually
happens when I'm scared and right now there's
butterflies fluttering in my stomach and vagina.
Him:"Can I help you with that?"he stretches out his
lovely hand motioning it towards my shopping bag.
Me:"Depends on who's asking"I don't trust myself here if
he touches me.
Him:"Hey I'm not looking to mug you"he [Link]
waseGeorge he has dimples and his smile is so seductive.
Me:"I wouldn't expect that from you...the mugging,that
is"the words fall out my mouth before I can stop them.
I just hand over the bags to him before I say anything
stupid again.
He walks besides me and I keep stealing glances of him
from the corner of my eye.
Cha ay ikhona lendoda,he's only in a tank vest and black
shorts with guess what you guys...flip flops!!!!!
He is so masculine,with a broad chest,strong arms and
his legs look like he runs [Link] has nice feet and I'm a
sucker for nice feet.
We walk in silence for a while and I'm not complaining
phela I'm conducting my personal surveillance of him la.
Him:"The name is Anthony,Anthony Gumede"he says
and it's only now that I realize I hadn't asked his name
and neither did I give him [Link] caramel man had me
completely mesmerized.
Me:"I'm Pamella"
Anthony:"So Ms Pamella where are you headed?"
Me:"Home"
Him:"Okay then after you"
Aibo akanakubo yin lobhut efuna ukuya ekhaya nam??

I didn't get your surname but I figured you won't need

yours since you'll be taking on mine a text from Anthony
reads.
I just smile to myself I'm now in a taxi home,he basically
scammed my digits out of me saying "I already have the
starting zero,I just need the remaining nine"
Chapter Two

I send a selfie to Noma as soon as I get home and thank

her for an amazing day.
I think of responding to Anthony's text but sleep gets the
best of me.
About 5 minutes into my nap,there's a loud consistent
knock at my door which won't go away plus my phone is
ringing talk about double annoyance.
I reluctantly get up from the bed and open the door to
find Nontobeko wearing my clothes which can only mean
she did not go back to Res to freshen up but rather woke
up from here and went.I won't even ask who's
underwear she's using.
Her:"I see you went shopping without me" she says and
pushes her way into my room and throws herself on the
bed.
Me:"Perks"
She rolls her eyes at me.I join her on the bed and she
starts going through my shopping bags picking what she
likes.
Her:"I saw your dp earlier today,why didn't you remind
me of my boo's birthday?" she asks throwing a pillow at
me,I throw it back.
Me:"This is why I left you when I went shopping,you keep
wanting what you can not have,no pun intended"
Her:"Mtchew like you can afford me"
We both chuckle and just then my phone rings.

Me:"Pamella speaking hello?"

Caller:"Hey beautiful"a smooth crispy voice says on the
other end of the line.
I melt at the realization of who it might be.
Me:"H-e-y"
I hear him smile lightly.
Him:"I was just calling to check if you got home safe and
also to confirm the validity of the nine digits"
Me:"Oh"I say trying to sound offended.
Him:"Don't take it the wrong way,I mean I was sceptical
when I didn't get a response earlier on,thought it landed
on the wrong person"
Me:"Oh,your message was delivered"
I smile when I think of what his text said and Nontobeko
gives me a look.
Him:"Oh thank God(he [Link] i-drama),I would have
hated to have proposed to the wrong future Mrs
Gumede"
Ohhh it is not only his voice that is smooth but him
[Link].
Him:"...I was wondering if we could meet up,say for
coffee?"he asks
Me:"Ok wonder boy,it was nice seeing you BUT I have to
go now"I say and quickly hang up before he can
[Link]'t ask me why I did that because I don't
know also...
When I look up from my phone I find Nontobeko staring
back at me with her arms folded giving me the "bitch spill
look"
Her:"Wonder boy???"
I keep quite.
Her:"Oh don't make me drag it out of you"she threatens.
I giggle.
Me:"Oh please don't,you won't have to"
She gets a little excited probably thinking ukuth ngiza
nendaba.
Me:"BUT you can drag your feet out of here and come
into the kitchen to help me with supper"I say and her
mouth hangs in disbelief.
Holding in a laugh I slide into my slippers and grab her
[Link] follows me reluctantly,in all honesty I don't
have anything "to spill" about Anthony because I don't
know much myself.
"which is why you should go out with him"my
subconscious chips in with her two cents and I quickly
slap her down.I'm so much invested in my studying to
take on a relationship,I'm doing my final year
remember???

With having fixed a quick meal for supper and already

freshened up,we all(me,Nontobeko and Anele)take our
seats in the lounge together with our food watching Tv.
As we were chit chatting instead of watching actual tv
the screen of my phone flashes indicating an incoming
text.
Ouch,that really bruised my ego the text from Anthony
reads.
Why don't you let me take a look at it tomorrow? I
respond.
Sounds great,I'm free tomorrow afternoon say 2pm he
responds almost instantly.
Oh shit did I just press a date on myself??Great!
"Earth to Pamella"Anele says snapping her fingers in my
face.
Nonz:"I WONDER who is it that's texting you"she says
and winks at me.
Me:"It's none of your business"
Nonz [Link] friend is such a drama queen.

Next day Sunday I'm woken up by Anele demanding that

I "get out of bed,the sun is already out and the birds are
singing" this girl!!!
So I wake up and make my bed and go wash my face and
brush my teeth.
I then go to the kitchen and find breakfast already been
prepared.
Me:"Good morning hoe..."
Nonz:"Ini??"
Me:"Hoe-mo sapiens"
We all chuckle.
Anele:"My morning is way past the good bit"she groans.
Me:"What happened ngoba you were jolly just a few
minutes ago?"I ask concerned,kanti what happened to
the bird's who were chirping??
Anele:"Nothing I can't handle"she says with a forced
smile.
Could've fooled me...
Nonz:"And we all know who that nothing is"
Anele:"Not now devil...''
We all break in giggles and then I hear my phone ringing.
I rush out to my room but then it stops ringing as soon as
I get there.
Missed call from Anthony ohh make that a call from
Anthony because he calls again.
Him:"Good morning beautiful" ahhhh man the way he
calls me beautiful it's like beautiful is actually my name.
Me:"Anthony?"
Him:"You were supposed to follow up with a pet name
like darling or something"he says the last bit in an
animated voice and I just smile.
Him:"I just called to ask if we're still on for the house
call"he continues.
Me:"About that..."I begin.
Him:"2pm right?"he presses but with a gentle voice.
Me:"Yes...I'll be there"
Him:"Great...I'll see you later then,love"
He hangs up on me before I could even protest to not
being his [Link] then my phone flashed low
[Link] kanjan???Arghhh Nonz!!!
Me:"Bitch why did you take out my phone from the
charger and put yours??"I bark as I enter the lounge.
Nonz:"Chill it's YOUR charger right??so you'll have the
whole day with it to charge"
Me:"I won't be here the whole day"
Anele:"uyaph ngoba phela awusonti?"
Me:"I'm going to get laid"I say and turn to leave.
Nonz:"Heeeee I WONDER!!!"she emphasizes on the
"wonder" because she heard me calling Anthony
"wonder boy" [Link]'s just reaching,hoping that
I'll tell her [Link] she's so nosy.
I go take a bath and get ready.

At around half past one I've already been made up and

sent my location to Anthony to which he didn't
respond.I'm all alone in the house,Anele has gone out to
sort out "nothing she can handle" which I know is her
boyfriend Luvuyo and Nontobeko went back to her place
to get a change of clothes.
2pm exactly I'm seated in the lounge with my purse on
sight waiting on [Link] time goes to half past the
initial time he said he'd be here and I'm getting restless
and really tired of channel hopping.
I'm not going to call and ask what's holding him up
because he is the one that pushed for this [Link]
realizing it I fell asleep on the couch and I'm woken up by
my phone and the constant knocking.
Why the hell is Anthony ringing me up??!
I ignore his call and go open up the door only to find him
leaning on it.
He gives me a light smile that doesn't reach his eyes.
Ngiyalingwa yin??
Him:"Can I come in?"
"Can you fuck off from here before I catch a murder case
because the way I'm so angry right now I'll kill you"I say
inwardly
Me:"What do you want?"
Him:"To come in if it's not a problem"he pleads.
I move aside and let him in.I close the door and follow
behind him to the lounge where he just throws himself
on the couch and sighs loudly.
Ngike ngasho ukuth ngyalingwa.
I stand in front of him with my arms folded,awaiting an
[Link] doesn't say anything rather he puts his
face in his hands and draws in a long [Link] he
looks so fatigued so I decide to hold off on the
interrogation for a bit.
Me:"Can I offer you anyting to drink?"I ask trying to
break the silence.
Him:"Yeah..sure"he then pauses forming lines on his
forehead like he's thinking of something.
Him:'I'm sorry"he starts.
Me:"It's okay let me get you that drink"I say and rush to
the kitchen.
He really is starting to worry me,wasn't he the one all
jolly about the whole date thing and now he here is
looking like he has the weight of the world on him.I
quickly pour him some juice and take it to him.
Him:"Thanks" there's that faint smile again.
Awww this dude aren't I the one who's supposed to be
grumpy and sulking,he stood me up!To top it all he isn't
talking.
Me:"Are you okay?...you're awfully quiet"
Him:"Yeah...sure..ehh listen..I'm sorry,I got caught up at
work,I didn't mean to stand you up"he explains.
What happened to "I'm free in the afternoon"
Me:"It's okay,you're here now"I say with a half smile
hoping that he would stop beating himself up for
something he had no control over.
I would have liked it if he sent a text or something
though.
Him:"So how did you spend the rest of your day
beautiful?" ahh he's starting to ease up a little well
maybe a little to much because he pats my thigh and
looks at me awaiting an answer.
Me:"Well...I spent most of it on the couch waiting on
y..."his phone cuts me off before I could finish.
He pulls it out of his pocket and without the intention my
eyes run to his screen and see the caller's ID "First Lady"
it says,my heart drops to the pit of my [Link] has a
girlfriend!!!
He gets up and stands a safe distance away from me and
answers the call briefly.
"I'm on my way"he says to his First Lady and hangs up.
When he is done he turns to me with a sad look on his
[Link] tells me he has to go,which I've figured out
already.
Him:"I'm sorry,can we do this some other time?"sounds
more like a command than a question.
"Do what again really???We didn't do anything!"my
subconscious snaps.
Me:"Sure"I say holding the door open for him.
He steps out but then stills with his back on [Link] I
attempt to close the door he turns and plants a soft kiss
on the top of my head,doesn't say anything and then
starts out towards his car leaving me dumbfounded.
I hope he doesn't think this is a half way house where he
can come to offload his troubles then go back to his "First
Lady",I am no one's confession vault(except for my
girlfriend's I'm literally the gatekeeper to all their
secrets)nor mistress!!!
I slam the door shut when I am sure that he is out of
[Link] why am I getting so worked up over this he
didn't propose any relation between us,I think to myself.
"But I remember him proposing to you being his "future
mrs gumede"my subconscious reminds me.

I collect my purse from the lounge and go to my room

and change into shorts and an oversized t-shirt.
Me:"Hey baby,what's up?"I ask Anele when I run into her
in the hallway.
She avoids any eye contact and tries to push away from
me.
Me:"Honey speak to me what's up?"I hold her arms and
see that she has been crying.
Anele:"Not now babes"she says and rushes into her
room.
I quickly ring up Nonz to come in,so we can be with
Anele.

Nonz:"Oh noooo,not the fluffy pyjamas"she says as soon

as we step inside Anele's room.
Me:"We come bearing goodies and hugs"
She smiles faintly,she didn't even want to open up for us
to begin with but we never let one of our own drown
themselves in pity while there's wine.
I wouldn't have her crying sikhona also I needed to dwell
on someone else's dilemma,mine is just too confusing.
I mean Anthony came on as a guy that wanted to pursue
me now he has flipped the script and I feel like I'm the
one chasing him.
Nonz:"Aren't you going to join us on the floor?"she asks
stopping my train of thoughts.
Me:"I'll sit here babe"
Nonz:"Oh no!I am not having this,both my friends
grumpy??I'll need something stronger if we're doing
this"she protests.
That manages to get some giggles out of us.
We dive in the potato chips and dip that Nonz came
[Link]'s a sweetheart at not so most [Link] have
light conversations and laughs for a minute it felt like
earlier today never happened but as life would have it
that didn't last long because Anthony started calling.
Anele:"You're not going to answer that?"
I just tossed the phone aside.
Nonz:"Guess you didn't get laid huh?"she jokes and they
chuckle.
Me:"Not now devil"I try to not sound annoyed shame.
Anele:"That bad huh?"
Me:"He didn't even pitch up on time,I even fell asleep on
the couch then HE shows up saying he couldn't get out of
work early but he could've called to say that right?"
Both:"Right" they even nod.
Me:"He didn't and that's not the annoying part next thing
I know he pitches up to the house and doesn't even stay
for 5minutes then he asks me if we could "do this
again?"Do what again?"I asking fuming.
Anele:"Whooah calm down babe don't get worked up
over no dude"
She could use this advice herself.
Nonz:"I don't get why you're so worked up,he asked to
see you again didn't he?"
Me:"Yes but..."
Nonz:"But nothing,you will see him again!Clearly you like
him otherwise you wouldn't be so worked up"
Me:"No I do not like him,it's just that..."
Anele:"Just that you're sexually frustrated,we get it" she
and Nontobeko laugh.
Me:"Heeeey,how did we get to that?"they continue to
laugh at me.
Nonz:"You're dick-prived friend,that's why you're like
this"
They high five and I [Link] come join me in the bed
and start grinding on [Link] harlots!!!

"Finally she resurrects"Anele says as I enter the kitchen.

Me:"Bitch don't start with me on this raggedy monday"
Hmmm something smells good.
Me:"What do we have here??"I say peeking at what she's
making.
Her:"That darling would be MY breakfast"
Me:"But we share everything"
Except men ngalapho ke nje akuna best friend.
Her:"Oh no we don'[Link] many times have I asked you
to share some of your ass with me?"she asks pointing a
fork at me like she'll torch me with it.
Not to toot my own horn but ngine-reverse yomhlaba.
Me:"Don't even go there you have a fine ass mama"I say
spanking her.
She laughs weakly.
Me:"Are you okay honey?"I ask holding her from behind.
She didn't exactly say what upset her yesterday,she just
brushed us [Link] stilled for a minute then she just
broke down.
I hate it when one of my own hurts,I hurt also because
we are as one so I held her as we sank to the floor.I held
her till her sobs were inaudible.
Me:"Talk to me would you?"
Her:"It's Luvuyo"she sniffs.
Arghhh mxm isn't always him?
Her:"This is why I didn't want to tell you"she says looking
at me then looks down.
That's the thing about me when I'm annoyed or bored I
may not say it in words but it would be written all over
my face.
I smile lightly.
Me:"Don't be [Link] has he done now?"
Her:"It's not his fault..I drove him to it"
Me:"Oh please Anele,when is it never your fault?You
can't always pin his bullshit on you"I half shout because
really I'm mad we've been through this one too many
times.
Me:"What did HE do?"
She just breaks down again,this time I don't hold her nor
comfort her.
Her:"He made another girl pregnant"she says when her
cries seized.
I just threw my hands in the air.
Me:"And how is that YOUR fault???Did you force him to
have sex with her???"
Her:"I might have not been the one who lowered his
pants and directed him into her cookie but I drove him to
her... (sniffs)I wasn't the girlfriend he needed"she cries.
Me:"Is that what he told you when you asked??Babes I
hate to break it down to you but Luvuyo seriously doesn't
love you(I know it's harsh but sometimes you got to dish
out some tough love)I mean you don't hurt the people
you love...time and time again"
Her:"And you would know an awful lot about love neh
[Link] is the love of your life Sam
eh??Did he not get with another girl while still with
you??"
Me:"Oh no Anele you don't get to!And yes he cheated
but I won because I walked out and didn't allow him to
play [Link] may have “played” me but I still have my self
worth because I was brave enough to walk away!"I say
shouting.
Sekunyuke amaphapho and I'm even crying now because
she just opened up old wounds.
Her:"It's not that [Link]!"she shouts back.
Me:"Because you've told yourself [Link] get up and
stop this madness"I say and walk out appetite gone.

I take a bath and go back to my room.

As I'm lotioning my body Anele comes in my room.
Her:"Your phone's ringing"she hands it to me and walks
out.
I look at the caller ID and it's Anthony.
Me:"What?!"I [Link] that came out different from
when I said it in my head.
Him:"Well someone woke up on the wrong side of
bed"he says jokingly.
At least he doesn't off like he was yesterday.I keep quiet
because I don't know what he wants from me.
Him:"Can I see you?"
Again I keep quiet last time he wanted to see me
wangenzela iytayela.
Him:"I can hear you breathing"
In all honesty it's nice hearing him all giddy.
Him:"Please,I'm outside"
That certainly caught my attention.
Me:"Outside...which outside???"I say this and start
moving.
Him:"Your outside"
I see him standing outside his car on the phone with me
and he drops it when he sees me.I walk towards him.
Me:"What are you doing here?"I say through my teeth.
Him:"To see you and probably take you out...to make up
for yesterday"
Me:"You're asking me out or you're telling me that
you're taking me out?"
Him:"I'm begging"he softens his face.
Manje ngoba naku uncenga mina ngenzenjan ehh
ngigxume ngiqabul'amafu??my subconscious asks.
Me:"You don't owe me anything"I say folding my arms
and pout my lips.
Mind you I'm just in a towel wrapped around my body.
He takes my hands into his and some electric current
runs through the point of contact and I find myself not
being able to look him in the eye.
Him:"Please allow me to rectify my wrongs.I was wrong
for standing you up and doubly wrong for showing up
here in a foul mood"he says bringing our hands to his
chest.
I now look him straight in the eyes and they mirror
nothing but [Link] "anger" inside of me suddenly
does a disappearing act.
All is not forgotten though,the psychologist in me still
wants to know the core behind that mood.
Me:"What was that all about really?"
Him:"Let's discuss over lunch,please?"
Arghh I can't stand him begging so I rush back into the
house and slip in some jeans and white vest with a brown
leather jacket and my new powder blue flip flops.
"On second thoughts let's rather go flip-flops
shopping"he says as soon as I reach his car.
For a minute I thought he was cancelling on me which
would have been his cancellation on living overall
because I wouldn't let him fool me twice habe bezofa
struu.
We're seated having drinks awaiting our food when he
randomly asks if I have a boyfriend.
Me:"Do you seriously think I'd be here if I had one?"
Him:"No offense but I wouldn't know,I've heard that
women like exploring their "options".
Offense [Link] when a person ever says to you no
offense just punch them in the throat and say no harm
done.
Me:"Not this woman,anyways why do you ask only now
if I have a boyfriend?"I even squint my eyes
Him:"Because if there is I have plans of replacing him"he
says boldly.
I scoff and roll my eyes,[Link] in turn does this little
slight smirk like he's smiling but he's not and it's kinda
cute.
Our food arrives and we dig in having conversations in
[Link] our conversation I've learnt that Anthony is
an I.T specialist and has both his parents with 2 siblings
him being the oldest.
Him:"Why psychology,if I may ask?"
Me:"I fancy other people's dilemmas"I say with a
chuckle.
Him:"Wow where have you been all my life?"
Me:"Probably having my fair share of dilemmas"
His phone rings and again First Lady beeps up in the
caller ID.
He takes it and again just like yesterday his face and
mood [Link] relationship must be really rocky he is
never pleased with whoever First Lady is.
Him:"Sorry about that"
Me:"It's okay but...are you okay?"
Him:"Yeah,I'm fine"he says in a hard but not offensive
tone that clearly says to not ask any further.
Oooo-kay....
I didn't know what else to say so I couldn't help but ask.
Me:"Are you married?"the words fall out my mouth
before I could construct a less awkward question but can
you blame me??Rather find out now right??
He just smiles at me and reaches over the table for my
hands and that electric current swiftly runs throughout
as soon as our hands touch.
Him:"No I'm not married,never been,is this about the
call?"
Ding ding ding!!!Yah it is but I won't say that.
Me:"You could say that"I say shrugging my shoulders
trying to act like I didn't want to know.
Him:"Of course it is,I was on the phone with my mom"
Ngsacela ningibuke guys ingabe ngibhalwe "dumb" on
my forehead because clearly that's how I come off as
kulendoda.I'm guessing he could tell that I'm not buying
his story because next thing you know he's dialled First
Lady and gives the phone to me.
When the other person on the end of the line answered
they sounded relieved that he rang.
"Anthony my baby please come home,let's talk"the
woman pleads but Anthony grabs the phone from me
and cuts the call.
I look at him [Link] lomlisa ekhanda???
The heck was that about??I give him a "what the?"
[Link] phone rings again and he just switches it off.
He goes on to tell me that him and his family just found
out recently that his mother has a terminal illness and
has been hiding it.
Him:"It's gotten so bad that nothing can be done about
it"pain is etched on his face.
I reach over the table and hold his hand.
Me:"Where there's a will;there'll always be [Link]
have to trust her decision of not saying anything and
mostly trust God to look over her"
The corners of his lips curve in a smile and he looks at me
fondly.
Me:"Wha..what?"I ask confused.
Him:"Nothing...no,actually how do you do that?"
Me:"Do what?"
Him:"Put my insecurities at rest,make a grown man
weak?"
I flush crimson red I tell you.I don't say anything he kisses
my hands and that now familiar current zaps through my
body bringing it into an exciting shock.
I order a take-away he insisted because he ate half of my
food.
Me:"Thank you,I had a lovely time"I say as the car comes
to a halt in front of the house.
He doesn't say anything just looks ahead ok let me go.
When I attempt to get out the car he grabs my arm and
holds it down.
Me:"What Anthony I...."I didn't even get the chance to
finish he blocked my speech with his tongue.
I didn't respond at first because he took me by suprise
but when he sucked on my bottom lip ohhh...
I should lock away his tongue with the rest of the
[Link] kissed for what seemed like forever and when I
pulled back he smiled and I was looking every where but
at him.
Him:"I had a great time also,we should this again?"
Most definitely.
Me:"Yeah...why not?"
He unlocks the doors and I step out of the car.I do my
Naomi Campbell walk all the way to the door and I feel
him watching,he hoots in admiration(I hope) and I smile.
I reach the door and turn to wave at him,he hoots again
before driving off.

Me:"Arghhh what a week"I say as I throw myself on the

couch.
Nonz:"Ai Pam it's only Wednesday"
Me:"My point exactly this week is on a go-slow"
Anele:"What's the rush,missing your man?"
Me:"He doesn't give me a chance to"
Seriously the man is always here to see me not that I'm
complaining though.
Nonz:"And when are we seeing this "man" of yours?"
Me:"Ahhh speak of the devil"I say as I flash my ringing
phone in their faces to [Link] roll their eyes.
Me:"Hey baby"
Him:"MaMusa"ahhh man.
"How are you?"he continues.
Me:"I'm fine my love,wena?"
Him:"I'm not okay,I won't be able to come see you
today"
Me:"It's okay babe,you're here every other day"
Him:"But I really wanted to see you"he whines.
My man baby.
Me:"Ok let's make a deal,I'll sleep over this Friday and
we'll spend the whole weekend ok?"
Him:"I thought you'd never ask"he says in an animated
voice.
I giggle.
Him:'I'd love that very much babe"
Me:"Great,I'll see you Friday then"
Him:"No you're not getting rid of me that easy,I'll still see
you [Link] wam"
I gasp fake appalled,he stiffles a laugh.
Him:"Ngyadlala my love,I have to go"
*silence*
Him:"I can hear you breathing and you know I love your
hot breath on my neck when we kiss"
See what I meant when I said I should lock up his tongue
with the rest of the silver.
Me:"Bye Anthony"
Him:"I love you"he says and hangs up.
Nonz:"Sleeping over nehh whole weekend..hmmm"
Me:"Not now devil"I say and we all laugh.

Thursday comes and the day goes on normally,Anthony

does come by to see me and as always he has food with
[Link]'s on a mission to fatten me up lo and when it
comes to food I don't play neh I stuff myself like a turkey.
Me:"Erhmmm baby?"
He throws his head back and closes his eyes.
Him:"Hmm"
I clear my throat I don't know why nginegwababa kanje
like me and Anthony have been together for like under a
week so he has no say in my life right??I guess it's out of
respect but here goes nothing...
Me:"About Friday..."
Him:"What about Friday?"
He doesn't even give me a chance to finish he quickly
jumps me like I said I won't be sleeping over anymore.
Me:"There's a little detail that I forgot to tell you,it's
Anele's birthday and I'm going out...me and the
girls..we're going out...to celebrate"
He gives me a dry ass ok.
Him:"What about our plans?"
Me:"You'll come pick me up afterwards at the club"
He is taken back by this,suprised if I'm not mistaken.
Him:"Club?"
Me:"Yes"
Him:"What if I were to tell you not to go?"
Hell would freeze over.
Me:"If is a strong word Anthony,are you telling me not to
go?"
Him:"No...I have to leave" with that said I hear the doors
unlocking.
Bastard where the hell does he get off thinking he can
tell me what to do.I waste no time seeing that I'm no
longer wanted in this car I get off and close the door a
little harder than [Link] won't be seeing me this
Friday.
Chapter Three

I look at myself one last time in the mirror and If I may

say so myself I'll say I look gooooood.I'm rocking a little
black sparkling dress with my Steve Madden black thigh
highs together with big hoop earrings and a touch of
make up with bold and red lipstick.I still have my hair in
an afro.
Anele:"Okay guys our ride will be here in under 5
minutes!!!"
We've been getting dressed up in her room,this Luvuyo
saga hit her hard BUT like a true hunnayy she's always
down for a good time.
Nonz:"Well I've BEEN ready"she says emptying the last
contents of her wine down her throat.
I look at my phone for the billionth time and still no call
or text from Anthony ever since yesterday
[Link] screw him.
"Oh is it?"my subconscious sneers.I slap it down
immediately because tonight is all about my girl.
Nonz:"Baby girl are you okay?"
Me:"Yes honey(clears throat)huddle up let's pray"
They look at me like "gerrare here"
Me:"I didn't have that much to drink,I know what I'm
doing"I say and we join hands.
Me:"Dear God we thank you for this day and for keeping
this bomb ass women yet another year and for loaning
her to us another year,please keep her for many
[Link] bless her and thank you"I pray.
"Amen" they say in unison.
Nonz:"Okay now that that's out the way,let us go and
rescue all the booze trapped in those bottles"
"Wohooo"we all say and go out into the night.

We had already made reservations in our favourite night

[Link] night is going really well and my girl is having
the time of her life.
Waiter:"Don't worry ma'am,it's already settled"he says
setting down our drinks.
Nonz:"Oh?"she mirrors all our confusion.
Waiter:"Yes by those gentlemen seated over there"he
says pointing to the bar and 3 guys wave back at [Link]
raised our glasses.
The waiter leaves and one of the guys walks towards us.
Guy:"You ladies still good?"
Me:"Depends on who's asking"
I must mention I've had one too many.
Guy:"The name is Senzeka,me and my friends would like
to join you"
Nonz:"The more the merrier"
As I've mentioned one too many.
So Senzeka,Wandile and Tony join us and buy another
round of [Link] conversation in the table is free
flowing but this Tony chap is annoying me busy rubbing
on my thigh and breathing on my face with hot whiskey
stinking breath.
I feel my phone vibrating which is what it's been doing
throughout the [Link] incoming call from Anthony.I
excuse myself to go outside but soon as I step out he
drops the call.I find a quiet spot and ring him up,he picks
up on the second ring.
Him:"I'm here to get you"he says.
Me:"Here where,I'm not home"
Him:"I miss you,come out"
Me:"So much for missing me you ignored me the whole
day and I'm not home.I told you this"I half shout.
Him:"Oh that"he says disapproval audible in his voice.
Me:"What do you mean "oh that" did you seriously think
that I'd miss my girl's birthday for you??*chuckles in
disbelief*You don't tell me what to do okay?"I bark and
hang up infuriated.
He dials again...God help me.
Me:"What do you wa..."
Him:"Where are you?"he says firmly.
Me:"Me??I am far away from your controlling
tendencies"I drop the call on him again.
I walk back inside the club and wave down the waiter for
a margarita which I down in one ago.
Me:"whooo...ahhh...get me another one"I say and the
girls throw me confused looks.
Me:"What we are celebrating life aren't we??So here(I
raise up my glass)raise up your glass Anne Mae(we all
do)here's to growing a year older and if you could just
ditch that Luvuyo of yours...you'd grow a year
wiser...cheers"I bring my glass forward and click it with
everyone else's.
At this point even Tony doesn't sound so [Link] I
even take him with to the dance floor when my jam
comes on.
While I'm dipping and doing it I feel someone pat me on
my [Link]??
Her:"Erhh...there's a guy..Anthony...at our table,he's
asked me to get you"
My eyes pop out and my jaws drop to the [Link]
had to drag me away from the dance floor.
We walk over to our table and there he is,I shrink when I
think of how I bit his head off just a few minutes ago sure
I was bad ass over the phone because I didn't think I'd
see him this soon now ai...
I walk up to him and he smiles at me,I in turn give him a
tight [Link]'s he doing here??
Him:"I've come to get you my love"he says pulling me
into his arm and kissing the top of my head.
Me:"What are you doing here?"I ask through my teeth.
Him:"Can we do this outside?"he asks but before I can
answer he's had his hand out so I put mine's in his and
we step out.
Him:"It was nice seeing you ladies,excuse us"he says to
my friends who look at me like "what the who?"I shrug
my shoulders.

Me:"What do you want me from me Anthony?"I ask as

soon as my friends are out of sight.I kept my cool only
because of them and also I didn't want to disrespect him
in front of them.
Him:"Have you been drinking?"he shoots back.
Aibo wrong answer mister you don't answer a question
with another question.I roll my eyes.
Me:"What's it to you??"I ask arms folded.
Him:"Well I don't fancy girls who drink"
Me:"Well...tough luck buddy because I'm not "a girl who
drinks",I'm your woman!"I say ever-so-fierce.I did
mention that I had one too many.
He melts,I think.
Him:"Let's get out of here"
Me:"Okay let me tell the girls first"he nods and I half run
back into the club.
Tony:"Baby..why did you leave me on the dance floor?"
Me:"I'm not your baby wena"I say and slap his hands off
with my purse.
Me:"Honey I'm sorry for leaving like this"
Anele:"It's okay baby,there'll be more [Link] go
and get your freak on"she winks.
I hug her and then Nonz.
Nonz:"Today would be a good day for it"
Anele:"Come on if not for you,give it up for the birthday
girl"
This is my cue,again I hug them goodbye then I head out
and find Anthony already inside the car.
Him:"That took forever"
"Yeah would've lasted forever hadn't you come ruined
it"I'm already regretting leaving with him because he's
salty all over [Link] starts the car and we drive off.
I've never seen his house before and now I get to see it
shit drunk and tired.I didn't even see where we're going I
only snapped out of my stupor when the engine died
down.
Him:"We're here"he says as he opens my side of the car.
I am so tired so I take off my shoes first then I get down
with his support of [Link] walk up to the door with
my head on his shoulder and his arm around my waist his
cologne makes me woozy.
Ai no his cologne makes my insides turn,I try holding my
breath but that seems to make things worse.I turn to the
side and throw up just outside his door.
Him:"Whoah,are you okay?"he says holding me.
Ohh God why.I do my business and upon finishing I hang
my head not wanting to meet his gaze.
He offers me his hand.
Me:"*clears throat* erhhmmm...lovely home"

Shit I'm so pressed I think to myself and quickly wake up

to go do my [Link] I'm in a bed!Not my bed
and not in my clothes.I quickly get under the covers as
yesterday's events come back all at once.
"Yup you puked all over his doorstep"my subconscious
echoes if anything she's just as fucked up as I am.
I really have to go and after doing a thorough
surveillance check of the room,I jump out the bed half
running to the [Link] God it's connected to the
bedroom otherwise nje I wouldn't have left that room.
"as if puking isn't enough now you want to pee"my
subconscious is really acting a bitch today shem must be
the hangover.
I finish up in the loo and wash my hands,face and then
rinse my mouth.I go back to the bedroom and brother
isn't there.I get startled by my beeping [Link] low
[Link] just great.
"where could he be?"I think to myself and debate leaving
the room in search of [Link] bedroom is lovely and
masculine it's painted grey with wooden floors it's
actually somewhat clinical and cold.I quickly get back into
the California King bed.
My phone won't give me a chance hle it keeps on saying
low battery haska.
I ring up Nontobeko.
Me:"Honey?"
Nonz:"Where are you?"
Me:"Aww no good morning lutho ntombi?"I ask
chuckling.
Nonz:"Mxm shut up I don't care about you,what I want
to know is what did that good looking creepy guy want
with you?"
Me:"I'm at his house"
Nonz:"Ah lucky bastard"
Me:"No he didn't get that lucky"
Nonz:"Ahh ngazile ngabe aksasiwena"I feel her roll her
eyes.
Me:"That's not why I called you ad-dick-ted bitch,can you
come over?"
.."I need for you to do my hair"
Nonz:"Alas,you're paying right?"
Me:"For the extensions,yeah"
Nonz:"Then why am I coming to a dude's house for?"
Me:"Whatever listen I'll send you the location"
Nonz:"Bye Felicia"she says and hangs [Link] I
send the location.
Curiosity gets the best of me like where is the owner of
this house so I get up and walk out barefoot.
"Anthony"I call out as I walk his apartment floors dololo
he doesn't [Link] we haven't spent time in his
house but it feels so cold without him.
I get down in the kitchen he isn't [Link] moya I
look for him in every other room still nothing,he seems
to have just disappeared from the face of his own
[Link] man has a thing of going ghost on me
ngyabona so I just get back up to the bedroom and
decide to take a bath.
I run the water and step out of his boxers and oversized
grey t-shirt and immerse myself in the bubble bath.I get
out to lotion my body and now I'm faced with the
dilemma of not having fresh clothes or fresh undies for
that matter.I settle for another set of his boxers and
track pants with a vest.
It's back downstairs now that I am hungry and while
fishing the fridge for something to eat the intercom
rings.I figure that it's not him,he wouldn't possibly knock
at his own house right?
Involuntarily I look down on the doorstep whilst opening
the door and no ma'am there's no puke there.
Me:"Satan"I say as Nonz comes up to the door.
She literally comes up and shoves her hand in my face
and let's herself [Link] all I'm saying is I've never seen
Nonz and Satan in one room....
Nonz:"You smell like a man"
Me:"Duhh I'm at a man's house"
Nonz:"So where is he?"
Me:"Forget that he wasn't in bed when I woke up but he
just wasn't here overall it's like he's disappeared."
Nonz:"Ahh friend you've got yourself a flight by night"she
breaks out in a [Link] ave eneme.
Me:"He could've at least woke me up and not leave me
alone in HIS house"
Nonz:"You can leave me alone up in here for days,this
house is off the hinges"
All this while she's busy surveying the fridge looking for
what God knows.
Nonz:"There's nothing real to eat here and non-alcoholic
wine?"you should see the disapproval in her face.
Me:"Tell me about it,let's order in"
Half an hour later we're seated in the lounge,me on top
of a pillow on the floor in between Nonz legs,akere she's
braiding my [Link]'re having pizza and his wine when
the intercom rings yet again.
Nonz:"Is that him?"
Me:"You think he'd knock at his own house?"
Nonz:"Haska Einstein don't get technical with me"
We both head to the [Link] a minute!Aibo is Anthony
a cross-dresser ai no guys!Standing in front of me is an
equally gorgeous looking female version of him.I stare at
her a fraction of a second too [Link] clears her throat.
Her:"Is my brother in?"
Aww no hello nothing.
Me:"Your brother?"I swear in my head this sounded less
stupid.
Her:"Yes,owner of this house?"I don't like her tone
[Link]'s that "duhh bitch"tone.
Me:"No,he's not in at the moment"I say equally arrogant.
Her:"Any idea where he might be?"
Me:"Not exactly he..."
Her:"Thought as much,okay listen,just tell him I'm
looking for him"
Nonz:"Why should she,he's your brother...right?"she
says visibly pissed.
Me:"Nonz leave it"I'm playing buffer now because Nonz
can tear this chick up.
Her:"Yes Nonz..leave it..better yet leave this house"
Ok this bitch is trying it.
Me:"I'll take the message for him"
Her:"[Link] don't take advantage of my brother's
house"she says and strides back to her car.
Nonz:"The hell was that?"
Me:"Uyabuza yin girl angyaz mina lento let's finish up
here so I can leave with you"
Nonz:"Honestly had this not been your man's house
bengzomcisha ubomi lobitch"she says I chuckle.
Me:"What man uyaybona wena la?"
We go at it for 3 more hours and then I saw her off,for a
minute I thought about leaving with her but decided
against it phela I couldn't find my purse and I wasn't
going to leave without it.
"Is that so?"if it isn't my cheeky subconscious.
I watch t.v. to which I fell asleep.

"Pamella"a warm voice calls my name and then briefly I

feel hands running over my arms.I sit up straight
immediately and bat my eyelashes a few times to adjust
to the darkness.
Just then it dawns on me that this guy had left me in his
house alone throughout the whole [Link] the hell is
he coming from??
Him:"Hey"he smiles at me.
Vele umuntu uyavivinywa la.
Me:"Anthony I'll ask again,are you married?"
I know I've asked him this before but to me it makes
sense that I [Link] he stood me up and then picks me
up to ditch me in his house(probably where be beds all of
his mistresses)and then he comes back when it's dark
maybe he's just tucked his wife in bed.
Him:"And I'll tell you again,I'm not."he says and gets up
to turn on the lights.
Me:"You left me alone in YOUR house ALL DAY"I bark.
Him:"You best be comfortable ngoba la kukwakho"
Had he said this 2 days ago I would've melted like a
burning candle.
Me:"I don't like the house nor it's owner"I say and fold
my arms.
He turns to me and raises his brows.
Him:"Says the woman who's in my clothes and had my
wine,if anything you look more at home than in
"somebody's house"
Ohhh first it was his sister and now him I can't deal with
these big headed Gumedes.
Me:"Take me home"
Him:"Kodwa MaMusa you don't have to go,I'm sorry"
Me:"I have a test on Monday"
Him:"I'll take you home first thing Monday morning"
Me:"I didn't bring any study material with me hell I didn't
even bring clothes let alone fresh undies"I say all at once
probably saying too much by the mischievous look on
Anthony's face.
Him:"So you mean to tell me underneath those
trackpants,umapuna?"he asks with his signature slight
smirk.
My throat immediately dries and words escape
me,putting both his hands on either side of my waist he
brings me forward to him and I slightly bump into his
strong chest and my breathing hitches.
Our eyes lock and we're breathing the same [Link] closes
the little space between us and smashes his lips into
mine and we kiss first tenderly and then [Link]
his one hand on the back of my head,his other free hand
roams around and makes way to the trackpants I'm
[Link] warm hand squeezes my butt and
involuntarily I moan into his mouth.
We do the pata pata busy frisking each other removing
the other's clothes mind you we're in the kitchen.
Me:"Ouch fuck!"I exclaim hysterically.
He done stepped on my toe.
Him:"Shit baby are you okay??!"
I throw daggers at him and he quickly runs to the fridge
and then comes back with an ice cube,he plops it in his
mouth and starts sucking on my pinkie [Link] that's
hot...The mixture of my throbbing toe and his cold lips
encircled around it makes my blood boil.I bring him up
for a kiss and we bump our foreheads.
Ai no akyekwe.
He's the first one to laugh and I want to cry,everything is
going horribly [Link] picks me up from the floor and
puts me on the couch making it a point that I put my
"injured" foot up.
Him:"Have you had anything to eat?"
Me:"Yes I had pizza,there's some left you can help
yourself"
He goes and warms the pizza and comes back to sit with
me on the [Link] places my feet on top of [Link]
mistake.I place my one foot on his crotch and start
moving in circular motion.
He shifts uncomfortably and clenches his jaw me I'm a
goner with laughter.

Sunday comes and we spend the whole day indoors

seems both him and I are heathens.
Me:"A girl stopped by yesterday looking for you"I say
randomly when we're having lunch.
Him:"And you're telling me this now?"he says brows
raised.
Me:"I was too furious to remember;anyway she said
she's your sister"
Him:"I know,I sent her to check on you"
Me:"You don't say,she didn't look like she expected to
find me here"
Him:"She was just being silly"
She was a total bitch that's what.
Another week,another Monday.
Him:"Good morning sleepy head"he says all smiles.
Yup I spent the whole weekend at...wait somewhat all of
the weekend with him remember he had disappeared
the whole of Saturday and then Sunday we had a lazy
day,only leaving the bed when we had to go or had to
eat.I haven't been back to the house for a change of
clothes instead he bought me fresh [Link] we spent
the day entangled in the sheets.
Me:"Handsome"I lean forward for a kiss and he responds
with so much passion that the intended baby kiss turns
into a tongue tango.
Him:"Now that's a good morning"he says pulling back.
Me:"Hhmm,what's the time?"
Him:"9:30"he says way too calmly.
I literally jump out of bed,what??!
Me:"Why didn't you wake me up?"
Him:"You were just so peaceful,I didn't want to disturb
you"
Yaze yayisilingo nayi indoda.
Me:"Thank you,you shouldn't have"I say with my teeth.
I leave him annoyed and go wash my face and rinse my
mouth.I come back in the room to find him still seated on
the bed,he watches every step I take towards him.
Me:"What?"
Him:"Nothing"he says in a high pitch [Link]
suspicious.
Me:"It's the boxers isn't it?"
This fella has a thing for my butt in the two days that
we've shared a bed he likes to spoon me and he sleeps
with his hand inside my "pyjama pants"(his
boxers)grabbing my butt.
Him:"No,I like my WOMAN in my clothes"he says walking
towards me.
Underline woman remember on Friday when I was drunk
and I referred to myself as his woman yah now he won't
let me live.
Me:"I'm hungry"I say when he takes me into his arms.
Him:"Ngikhona mina"he says biting his bottom lip.
Me:"Sorry babes,I'm allergic to raw meat"
He puts his hand on his chest and mouths ouch.I laugh at
him and drag him down to the kitchen.
We've had breakfast and I am now in bed waiting on him
to finish up in the bathroom.
My phone [Link] it's Noma.
Her:"You're in bed"she says in a bored yet annoyed tone.
Me:"Hello to you too Noma"
Her:"Don't you have lectures today?"
Me:"I woke up late"I say in a low tone.
Her:"Pamella that is no excuse,need I remind you..."I
don't hear the rest of what she's saying when Anthony
enters the room with his bare chest with water trickling
on it and a towel loosely wrapped around his lower
body.I can see his torso actually I'm drooling.
He sees me looking and gives me a goofy smile.
"[Link] to Pamella"Noma snaps.
I clear my throat and tear away from Anthony.
Me:"Can I call you back later babe?"Anthony gives me a
questioning look probably for the babe part.
He walks towards me and what he did next shocked me.
Him:"Ohh hey babe"he says when he realizes that I'm
talking to a girl who is actually my big sister!
If looks could kill Nomandla's would have me six feet
under right now.
Her:"Pamella?"she half shouts through gritted teeth.
Me:"I'll call you later"I smile sheepishly and give her no
chance to get a word in because I quickly hang up.
Now to deal with this dumb man.
Me:"EXCUSE ME!?"I mirror Noma's fire towards Anthony.
Him:"What?"he asks shrugging his shoulders.
Me:"Who invited you in on my personal call with MY BIG
SISTER?That was wrong!You made me miss school and
now you have my big sister thinking I missed classes for a
shag"I shout.
Him:"But we didn't shag"he says to his defense.
I huff and throw my hands in the air [Link]'s not
the point!!!
Me:"You had no business showing your ugly face in that
call"
He is taken back and pretends to be hurt.
Me:"Take me home"I order I don't know how many
times I've asked him to do this.
Him:"And what about our lazy day?"
Me:"Sundays are for lazy days and also for church you
heathen"
Him:"Ai no unodlame MaMusa that's the second insult
for the day"
Me:"Suck it up"I say absentmindedly and this fool takes it
as some nasty idea.
"Yes ma'am"he says and pushes me onto the bed and
trails wet kisses all over my stomach.I shouldn't have
worn just his T-shirt only I think as he kisses the inside of
my thighs.
"Anthony!!!"a voice shouts from inside the [Link]
both hold our breaths maybe in the hope that whoever it
is will go away but we had another thing coming.
"Anthony I know you're home,your car is outside open
this door" whomever this person is they're now outside
the door to our bedroom.
Ant:"Coming"he groans in exasperation.
Him:"Mom?"he sounds startled.
Mom???!His mom is here?
His mom:"You didn't come home for Sunday lunch and
you also haven't been returning my calls and all you're
going to do is make me stand outside your door and
don't look pleased to see me?"she asks in a "what the
hell is wrong with you?" tone and Anthony looks like he
doesn't know what to do.
"Erhh"he says and scratches his [Link] man why
doesn't he just take this downstairs.
I quickly bury myself under the covers when Anthony's
mom pushes her way into the room,I don't think I was
fast enough though.
Her:"Show your face girly"
I contemplate removing the covers I mean my hair is
messed up and I'm sure I have drool on my face and I
haven't brushed my teeth.
I feel her beside the bed on the side where I've hidden
myself and wish I could [Link] pulls the covers
away and when she does that I resort to hiding my face
in my [Link] chuckles sweetly.
Her:"Show your face ntombenhle(beautiful lady)"I ease
up a little bit when she says this and remove my hands
from my face to be met by beautiful black eyes ogling
me.
Me:"Sawbona Mah"I say to myself to be honest,I'm not
sure she heard me.
Her:"Yewena sebentin aren't you gonna introduce me to
this lovely lady?"she gives Anthony a look.
I don't know why all of a sudden Anthony ewujamu nje
he doesn't know what to do with himself.
Him:"Had you given me a chance to,I would"
His mom:"Don't be cheeky with me wena I can still smack
you even in front of my makoti"hebana jwalo I have a
title.
Anthony just grins at his [Link] ngoba syaqoma shame.
His mom:"I'm Lillian Gumede;this moron's mom"she says
offering me her hand.
Me:"Pamella Musa;that moron's girlfriend"I return her
handshake.
Her:"I think I'm gonna like you”she says laughing and
Anthony frowns.
"Well now that that's out the way,I would like some
[Link]?"she continues and Anthony nods.
MaGumede is a fair skin plumpy woman in her mid fifties
I think,she has a lovely round face with dimples like her
son,she has this twinkle in her eyes.
Him:"My mom sure knows how to deflate a boner"he
says groaning.
I laugh at him and make the bed before taking a quick
shower don't want to keep the mother-in-law waiting or
worse thinking we're shagging.

"I still think you should have stayed longer,I mean mom
wanted you to"he whines.
We're now parked outside my place.
Me:"As much as I love your mom.."
Him:"And she loves you very much I could tell,I mean
what's not to love"he says cutting me off.
Me:"Thank you,as I was saying I love her too and you
more but right now my books are calling me and I will call
You later"
Him:"And if you don't;I will"
Me:"I know you will"I lean in and give him a soft peck
which he in turn makes into a deep lingering kiss.
Him:"I love you"he says and turns on the engine.
I realize that this is the part where I should say I love him
too and also that it's my cue to jump off the [Link] of a
sudden I don't want to go.
"Hhmm"I say and give him a flat smile.
Me:"I love you too"eventually I say sulking and he
chuckles.
I jump off the car as hard as it was to tear away from
Anthony I had [Link] drives away and I stand on the
roadside like a stray puppy who has been abandoned by
it's owner as I watch his car disappear into the evening.

I walk inside the house and head straight to my room.I

change into jeans and a pair of fresh undies and still keep
his T-shirt on.I try Nomandla's phone for like the
hundredth time and still she doesn't pick up.
"You're back"says Anele walking in.
Me:"You sound suprised"
Her:"Do you blame me?Last I saw you was on my
birthday and how many moons ago was that?"
Me:"Ihhaba hawu,we text every day bitch"
Her:"You know what I mean,uyaz mos nothing beats
physical [Link] know some skin to skin"she says
and winks.
Me:"Ave uncolile friend sies man!"I giggle.
"I got you something actually Anthony did to apologize
for "ruining" your birthday"I continue and reach for a gift
bag.
Her:"I think I'm going to like him...Oh my God this is so
beautiful"she says in awe as she scans her rose gold
Tempo watch.
Me:"I'll tell him you said thanks?"
Her:"Please do"she doesn't even look at me.I also just
blush at the thought of him.
"Ohoho you like him"she chuckles and claps her hands.
Me:"I don't know anyone who'd spend a whole weekend
with a person they don't like"
Her:"About the whole [Link] was it?"
Me:"It was wonderful"I kind of drag the last part.
Her:"Finally(she sighs)I was worried you'd grow a web
down there"she says relief audible in her voice.
Me:"Why is everyone assuming that we had
[Link] sexes can platonically chill alone
without any sexual thoughts or making sexual advances
on the other"I say matter-of-fact.
Her:"Psshh girl then he must be in my friend zone"
I rest my case with this girl.I push her out of my room
and make my way over to Nokwanda's room.
Kwanda:"Come in"
Me:"Hello?"
Kwanda:"Hey stranger"I roll my eyes why is every one
acting like I've been gone for ages.
Me:"So on a scale of one to Mr Hlongwane how angry is
he at me for not coming in today?"she literally laughs at
me.I must be in trouble.
I ask her to bring me up to speed with the day's work and
after 2hrs we're done and I'm super hungry.I retire to my
room and collect my toiletry bag and have a [Link]
that I go and have supper with Anele.
Before going to bed I ring up Noma once more and as
expected she doesn't pick up I then call Anthony we
speak for hours on end with neither of us wanting to
hang up the phone.
"If it isn't usis we-"keep it in"(that is ukukipita,cohabiting
to you)"Nonz says as we take our seats at the cafeteria.
Me:"Not now devil"
Nonz:"If not now when then,I want my money for doing
that hair sis.I worked really hard ngikhiphe unyawo lapho
and your man's pocket must feel it"
Me:"Awemah wavelelwa uAnthony"
Anele:"And don't go easy on him wena friend,I take it his
pockets are really deep buka he bought me a watch"she
literally shoves the watch on Nonz face.
I hear Nonz gasp in what I think is offense.
Nonz:"Ngoba enzen kangaka uAnele,listen I'll send this
Anthony an invoice"
Me:"Ai no I must hide my man away from you
two,nizomkhama ome(you'll suck him dry)"
Anele:"As we should"she says and Nonz nods.
Nonz:"Phela we've been grooming you for him"
Babazan I'm unable to can with these two,they're
scammers cut from the same cloth.
Dear life when I asked "can my day get any worse??" it
was a rhetorical question not a challenge damn!This
whole week nje has been a downward slope of
[Link] today is a Wednesday and still my
woman crush isn't taking my calls from Monday.
"Waze wa-bluser bo(you seem very deep in
thought)"says Nonz giving me a pat on the shoulder.I
didn't even hear her knock and I doubt she did.I give her
a faint smile.
Her:"Ok what's eating you up or rather who's not eating
you out?"she eyes me suspiciously with a smirk on her
[Link] Nonz to always have something dirty to say.
Me:"Ai wena nondindwa(stop it you bitch)"I say giggling.
Nonz:"Bitch please"
My phone rings and it's the one and only.

Me:"Sho"I say suppressing a laugh.

Him:"Aibo,sorry mjita I think I dialled a wrong number"I
giggle.
Me:"Wena wazana nabajita who are hot like me?"I say in
a bored cheeky tone.
Him:"Wenake utshelwa uban ukuth uyababa(who told
you you're hot)?"if he didn't mirror my cheekiness he
wouldn't have been my crazy ass man.
Me:"Suyaphapha,unjan sthandwa sam(you're being
forward,how are you my love)?"
Him:"I know you'd give in first,can't win with me"he says
[Link].
"..don't roll your eyes at me"he continues.
Me:"Ungfunan Gumede(what do you want from me)?"
Him:"Ngyak'checker nje mama(just checking up on
you)"he knows good and damn well I don't like this
calling me "mama" thing.
Me:"Udukelwe umawakho yin ixhegu elingaka?(I'm no
mother of such an old man)"he gasps and I picture him in
my mind holding his chest as if he got shot/[Link]'s
dramaric lo.I giggle.
Him:"Ave uhlukumeza shame(you're mean)I have to go
baby,I love you owner of my left hand chest"
Me:"I love you too baby"he immediately hangs up after
that.
I don't even know what was the purpose of this call,he
always does this and calls nje just for the sake of it.
I didn't see Nonz leave the room she must've gone out
when I was still on the phone.I go to my room and put on
something snuggly before heading to Anele's room
where it's Hibiri Happening these girls are having wine on
a school night.

Me:"Man why don't you pick up your phone?"I bark as

soon as Sboniso picks up.
Sbo:"Because I like my ringtone"he says mind you his
ringtone is Hey Ya! by Andre 3000.
Him:"What's up,you low on cash?"he says the last part in
a "huh?" tone.
Me:"Mxm can't I just check up on you organically nje
with no extra things added?"I ask annoyed.
Him:"Organically huh?(he laughs)man for you to even
explain means you must have some hidden agenda"
Me:"I'll hang up then"I say almost in a cry.
Him:"Okay kid talk to your big brother"
Me:"Better.I've been trying to get hold of Noma with no
success"
Him:"Why is everything okay?"he asks worry audible in
his voice.
Me:"I'm assuming yes,just that I can't get hold of her"
Don't give me that look I'm not about to tell my brother
that Noma is having a fit because she saw me in bed with
a guy on a school [Link]!
Him:"Righhhht(he purposely drags it which can mean
he's suspicious of something)Let me try her and get back
to you"
Me:"Thanks"

Sboniso is my big brother as mentioned but he is only

Dad's son not Mom'[Link] and Nomandla are like the
same age and no they're not twins they were born a few
months [Link] Dad cheated on Mom and had a child
by another woman,worse a son that he had always
wanted(I don't know what it is with guys and wanting to
have sons it's almost as if they just want replicas of
themselves all over nje not to mention they're not that
good of idols or people to look up to,some of them not
all tho I won't get into that tea angzanga ngalokho la).So
for a while their relationship(mom and dad)was rocky for
a while but he fought to be with her again and I'm a
result of their "let's try again" that is like four years later
though(me being born)but when I was 10 years old my
parents came to terms that they really didn't want to be
together [Link] when they were not in love with
each other anymore they gave and showed us nothing
short of [Link] was hard for mom to accept Sboniso but
eventually she did having realized that the little boy
wasn't the one at fault.

Just as I'm busy thinking of all this the "love child" calls
me back as promised.
Sbo:"My call went through seems like you're the one she
doesn't answer to"this hurts me because me and Noma
are really tight like Spanks don't have anything on us.
"And shame on you Pamella for trying to put in the
middle of your beef"he hisses and hangs up before I
could somewhat defend [Link] then dawns on me...
Aibo could Noma snitch on me?
Anthony:"Do you have to go today to see your old
man?"he whines.
If I'm correct in counting(phela Maths never loved
me)me and this guy have been going out for a minimum
of 3 weeks and I've spent two weekends over at his
[Link] Friday I'm not sleeping over I've decided to go
see Dad instead.
Me:"I'll be with you in 24hrs babe,lighten up"Yes I won't
spend the whole weekend at Dad's just this Friday and
tomorrow morning I'll [Link]'t give me that look you
know how fresh love is.
Him:"I want you to be with me 24/7"he says brushing my
thigh.
Me:"This is why I said it's best if you don't drive me to
Dad's,see now you don't want me to go and that's also
giving me cold feet"he jumps up on his seat and starts
the car right away.
Aibo calm your crotch down dude.I give him a look.
Him:"What you said it yourself you don't feel like going
anymore"
Me:"Anthony turn off this engine right now and let me
jump off"
Him:"No good bye kiss,nothing?"he asks with a goofy
look on his face clearly [Link] man is stupid!
I don't say anything and next thing you know he's taken
me into his mouth and I groan at the back of my
throat.I'm running my hands at the back of his head with
him inching every part of my body.I swear had it not
been for the seatbelt I would've jumped him and straddle
him right now.
Finally we pull back from our tongue rumbling and we're
both out of breath.
Him:"I love you"he says husky voice and all.
Me:"I love you also"I grin sheepishly.
Are my eyes deceiving me nahh??Heeee as soon as I
stepped out of Anthony's car I see Noma driving by and
even though her windows are tinted(shady bitch)I can
feel her stare of disapproval from where I'm
[Link] you me and Anthony are parked just 3
houses from [Link] I seriously don't want to go see
Dad.
Him:"We can still go back just you say the word"mxm this
guy is hell bent on taking me back to his house.
Me:"No baby I have to go"
I give him a quick peck on his lips take my bag and
literally make a run for Dad's [Link] fool is driving
slowly beside me and is laughing.

When I walk up the driveway Noma has just parked in

and is just standing there waiting or so I think.
Me:"Noma"I say in a high pitched voice.
Her:"Hey stranger"
Stranger?Funny she should say this yazi I've literally been
texting and calling her for a week straight and she didn't
return either my calls or texts and then she calls me a
stranger?She must prescribe some mental pills to herself
not only give them to patients seeing that she's a
pharmacist.I don't say this out loud I just say it in my
head.I give her a flat smile and we just stand there.
"Sorry to interrupt your little re-union but I think you're
here to see me"says Dad standing by the [Link] both
fake chuckle and make way into his [Link] share a hug
and it's then that I realize just how much I missed my
Minister Of Finance.
Dad:"Did you arrive together?"
Noma:"I drove down here alone"she says proudly.
Dad:"And how did you get here?"he asks me obviously.
Me:"I took a taxi"I say and I hear Noma [Link] she
must give me a break.

I guess with having had to live with parents who knew

how to keep their dirty laundry under wraps we also as
their children were observant and learned some tricks
because even though me and Noma aren't in a good
space we didn't let Dad see that.
We had free flowing conversation and good laughs over
dinner which Noma made refusing my help.I washed the
dishes and made hot chocolate to take up to Noma.
I knocked and she asked me to come in.
Me:"Peace offering"I say raising the mugs in my hands.
Her:"Oh for?"she dares not raise her head to look at me
she just keeps lotioning her legs.
She's really giving me grief over this but I won't give up
just [Link] is my blood right here I may have friends but
she's my go to for everything and anything and I've been
itching to tell her about Anthony.
Me:"For upsetting you"I say with uncertainty because I
really don't why she's mad it's not like it's my first time
having a boyfriend.
Her:"Thanks for the hot [Link] favourite"she
beams,I know it's her favourite [Link] excepts me to
do the talking I see.
Her"How long?"
Me:"How long what?"I ask raising my brow.I am fully
aware of what she's asking but I need her to say it,I want
to know what she had my relationship labelled as so I can
clarify it for her.
Her:"Your cohabiting?"she raises her mug and drinks
from it methodically while ogling me.
Me:"And here I was thinking that you know me better
Noma,I've been with the guy for a few weeks..."
Her:"A few weeks long enough for you to be living with
him and missing out on school?"she asks me
dumbfounded like how stupid can I be?
Did I not just tell her that I know better than [Link] suka.
Me:"My God Noma if you'd let me finish!"I retort.
She is taken back and if I'm reading her expression right
she wants me out of her room but I'm not leaving till we
smooth things over.
Me:"I'm sorry babe but you have it all wrong"I say trying
to calm myself more than her.
She loosens up and gives me the "carry on look" so I
break down the whole thing to [Link] minutes into the
conversation I've literally painted out Anthony to her and
if anything confessed it to myself that I am in love with
him.
Her:"So technically I set you up"these are the first words
she says when I finish talking and I'm not understanding.
Me:"Set us up?"
Her:"Ihmm see had I not taken you out exactly on that
day he wouldn't have met you,that man owes me.I'll
make my own deductions when he brings over the
lobola"clearly my man will be broke here if it's not Anele
and Nonz it's Noma who want his money.I laugh and she
joins in.
Ahh there we're back to ourselves again,I've missed this
crazy ass.
Me:"Well you did good babe,he's a good one"I say
beaming.
Her:"Look at you wenana!"she says clapping her hands.
I bat my eyelids and SMILE flaunting and as if on cue
Anthony rings me up and I take it immediately.
Him:"Beautiful"I like how he calls me beautiful as if it
were my own name.
Me:"Handsome"I respond and he smiles.
"Hello babe"if it isn't Noma showing her [Link] Vu.
Anthony just shakes his head and laughs and then they
start having their own conversation on MY phone. The
phone call ends with a threat to castrate Anthony should
he break my heart(I love my big sis).All I got was a good
night and then he hung up.

Noma:"He looks good"

Me:"I know"I say proudly and she gives me the bitch
please look causing me to giggle.
"I'll take these back"I say picking up the mugs.
Her:"Next time bring something stronger"
Me:"Dad's changed his stashing place"I chuckle.
Her:"So is he good?"I know exactly what she means.
Me:"No"
Her:"No?Why are you still with him?"
Me:"Because there's more to life then good sex"she
gasps and gives me a horrid look.I can't help but break
out and laugh.
Her:"I wouldn't be caught dead having trash sex no fam
noma kuthiwa I love the guy ngingathola a side dish
who'd give me good and then come back and give the
guy a brifie"
Me:"Sies Noma [Link] haven't had sex yet relax"I
put her out of her misery for a minute she's relieved but
starts again.
Her:"[Link] need to give it up"she says matter-of-fact.
Me:"Funny you should say bitch weren't you the one
preaching "it's a few weeks long enough to.."she smacks
the back of my head.
Her:"It's a few weeks long enough to dip it and do it."she
says licking her lips.
Me:"You hoe,I'm telling Dad that you're pressing for me
to have sex"
Her:"Pshh I'd like to see you try even bringing up the fact
that you're dating"she gives me a venomous smile.
I sigh in defeat and leave her room.

"So how are you going back to your man?"Noma asks as

we offload groceries she bought for Dad.
Yes we went shopping as per tradition and the day just
went away so [Link]'s afternoon now and I know
Anthony is fuming wherever he is because I didn't check
in with him nor tell him I'll be late.
Me:"Jeez Noma say it louder I don’t think Dad heard
you"she rolls her eyes.
Her:"It's not like he can hear me"
Me:"Whatever,I'll just walk over to his house he lives 2
streets away"
Her:Wenana!Must be nice hey"
Me:"Not now devil"
We finish the task at hand and then go in for
refreshments Lord knows I'm thirsty(for my
man)speaking of man.I retrieve my phone from my bag
and ring him up but it takes me straight to [Link]-
oh.

"Let me drive you back"offers Dad.

Noma [Link] bitch.
Me:"It's okay Baba,I'm covered"I say hoping I don't
sound like I'm refusing.
Dad:"Okay then MaMusa,we should do this again"he
says and embraces me.
Me:"I'll be back soon when exams start"he nods.
"thanks for today babe"I turn to Noma and hug her.
Her:"I'll do it all over again with the full knowledge that
you'll have a pay check soon"she winks.
Me:"You gold digger"
Her:"Calling the kettle black"
Me:"Mxm,I love you [Link]"I say and hug them once
more then set for Anthony's.

To say I'm pissed would be an understatement hle I’ve

been waiting outside this moron's house for close to 20
minutes and just as I'm about to call him yet again his car
pulls up at the gate.
Him:"Fancy seeing you here"he says visibly unpleased.
I'm in no mood to argue with him.
Him:"Hop in"he says waving me to the backseat,I get in
and boom there is his mom expectedly waiting for me to
get in.I collect my jaw from the floor and greet her.
His mom:"Makoti"she smiles and I nod thankful that
there is little light inside the car because the sour look
I'm wearing on my face right now!
We drive in and I immediately fly out the car,leaving
Anthony and his mom laughing behind me.
I get to the bedroom to get a change of [Link] my
culture you do not wear pants in the presence of your in-
laws married or [Link] I slip out of the jeans and put on a
skirt of reasonable and respectful length and unlucky for
me I have no headscarf in this [Link] I was given a
drawer for my clothes and I took up more than just A
drawer.
Him:"We had a date"he says leaning on the door
watching me move about in the room in search of my
slippers.
Me:"You didn't tell me that we're having your mom
over?I hiss.
I am now standing in front of him with my hand on my
waist with my chest out to him trying to look intimidating
and he isn't shaken rather he's [Link].
Him:"I figured since you dropped me without
WARNING...I'd have my other favourite lady over"
Rather that than having a hoe over I think to myself.
Me:"You could've called"
Him:"Which I did but my calls weren't returned"he gives
me an accusing look.
Must he have an answer for everything!I locate my
slippers and this is my cue.I walk to the door but he
blocks my way.
Me:"Move Gumede"
Him:"Not until I get what's due to me"
Instead of an apology I stand on my toes and give him a
soft lingering peck and he doesn't respond just watches
me and when I attempt to leave again he pulls me back
to him and makes me stand on his [Link] then gives me
a seductive kiss which he deepens by holding the back of
my head.I know I have to stop this I mean his mom is
right downstairs.
Me:"Mrs Gumede is waiting"I say when I pull back.
Him:"We*kiss*are*kiss*not*kiss*done*kiss*here"he
says into my mouth and takes my lower lip in his teeth.
My breathing [Link] winks and moves to the side
giving me access to leave the room and I reluctantly
make my way downstairs.

Mrs Gumede:"I am yet to see you emagceken

akwaGumede njalo makoti"she says as I put down her
tea.
Me:"You can blame your son Mah"I hear her son cough
and I stifle a giggle.
Mrs Gumede:Wena Anthony you want to keep makoti all
to yourself"she gives him a green look.
Him:"She is lying Mah but we will be seeing you soon"he
is saying this to spite me.
His mom nods.I take a seat next to Anthony across from
the couch she's on and Anthony rather pulls me to him
and makes me lay on his [Link] Gumede looks at us
and beams giving me goose bumps.

Next morning it's a Sunday and usually me and Anthony

just lazy about in the house till afternoon when he has to
drive me back to my place.
Seeing that his mom had spent the night yesterday I
decided that I would set an alarm so I could wake up and
make her [Link] and me both know I didn't hear
no alarm.
I wake up to an empty bed and I quickly jump out and
have a shower.I wear my maxi baby blue dress with flip
flops and hurry downstairs.
I am met by mother and son already seated having
breakfast,Anthony sees me coming down the stairs and I
frown he just smiles at me.
How is he topless in the presence of his mom?
Me:"Good morning Mah"
Her:"[Link] ngaleskhath kuyiwa nin
esontwen?"
Anthony scoffs I give him an ugly and look down at my
hands.
Him:"Before you even go there ask her if she even goes
to church"
Mrs Gumede looks at [Link] I can never make a good
impression on this woman our first encounter she met
me in her son's bed and today I couldn't even get out of
bed to make her breakfast.
As if she could read my mind she gave me an assuring
smile I looked down still.
Her:"I think you've met your match son;Heathens"she
claps her hands and laughs shaking her head.
Anthony joins in and I frown because this isn't funny at
all.I'm not exactly winning at this daughter in-law thing.
Chapter Four
You must think that I don't care for school ever since
Anthony came into the picture but no babes before there
was even an Anthony there was my books and wine and
shopping and and and you get the drill Anthony is not the
centre of my being and I'm going to prove that to you.
Me:”Anele open up”
Told ya I'd prove it to you see I'm back at the house in
MY own place not his.
There is no answer but I can hear movement from inside
her room so I knocked [Link] came to me asking
that I talk to Anele for him so here I am with him outside
Anele’s room knocking my knuckles red.I decide to ring
her up and it does ring in her room but she doesn’t pick
up.
Me:”What's really going on between you two?”
Luvuyo:”I messed up.I just need to talk to her”
Me:”Clearly she doesn't so you have to cough up more if
you want my help”
He doesn't say anything and just then the door opens up
and out comes Anele looking horrible.
Anele:”What's he doing here?”she asks in a husky voice.
I look at her and her eyes are horribly red and she is
bruised [Link] hell???
Me:”You bastard what did you do to her?”I ask and
shove his chest.
Luvuyo:”Baby please I'm sorry”he begins and goes down
on his [Link] pathetic!
Me:”You beat her up and then come to me asking for
help?Are you insane??” I am breathing fire.
“Get out leave this house right fucking now!!”not only
am I shouting him but I'm also shoving him off.
He on the other hand is busy crying and begging for
forgiveness.
Anele:”Come on babe get up”she offers him her hand.
Ai Jesu sale usubuya.I chuckle in disbelief and walk back
to my room.I ring up Nonz to come do damage control I
seriously cannot do this alone.
Just then Anthony calls and we speak briefly and I think
he can sense that I'm in a spicy mood but he decides to
let me be.
Nonz:”In all honesty hell will have to freeze over before I
let you get back with that scum again.I mean who
manhandles a woman?”this is 5 minutes later in Anele’s
room after we had kicked out Luvuyo much to Ane’s
disapproval.
Me:”Beats [Link] need to lose his number and you in
turn get a new one”I hiss.
She's been quite during this whole ordeal except for the
time she was weeping.
Anele:”I'm pregnant”she says in a low voice but we
caught it.
Dead pin silence follows after [Link] God.

Me:"I cannot wait to be done with school seriously"I

whine.
Kwanda:"Same here"
Me:"This task is really draining"
Kwanda:"Just 14 more visits and we'll be done"
Me:"The experience is exhilarating I know and it gives us
a feel of what our profession would be like but having to
juggle it with school.."
Kwanda:"I know babe"she says in a rather too low tone.
Me:"Are you okay babe?"
Nokwanda is usually a lively person but she's just distant
and gloomy [Link]'s my study buddy as she should
phela we do the same course and live in the same
[Link]'ve been given a task where we were assigned
to volunteer at a rehabilitation centre for a month and
it's been a hassle but with 2 weeks in it's been getting
better.
Kwanda:"My girlfriend broke up with me"she says.
Erhh I try to collect my jaw from the floor in time but she
caught me.I didn't know that she was lesbo and looking
at her I wish I'd had another reaction to her news
because I can see she already regrets even saying
anything to me.
I clear my throat louder than necessary.
Me:"That's sad to hear babe,I'm sorry it will get better"I
rub the side of her arm.
Kwanda:"Please accept my apology also,I shouldn't have
bombarded you with my problems"she says with her
head down.
Me:"Oh no please don't,I have absolutely nothing on you
people"the words fall out my mouth before I can stop
them.I should just shut up.
Me:"I'm sorry so sorry that came out wrong"I swear it
sounded better in my head where it should've just stayed
but I had to open my mouth neh.
Kwanda:"I'll see you in class"she says with her back to
me and turns to leave.
I huff and follow after her keeping a safe distance
between us.

After our lectures she doesn't even wait to board the bus
with me to the centre so I go alone.I go in and take my
access card then it's off to Dr Winter's office.
Dr Winters is a lovely middle age woman and she is a
psychologist and my mentor for this task.
Dr Winters:"Miss Musa right on time"
I don't even get to sit in her office we go out and then
start doing our rounds.
My patient for this month is Nkosinathi Jali who is a burn
survivor he is 18yrs old and now an orphan he lost his
mother when his father tried to torch them in their
sleep,he was submitted to the centre around the same
time I came in so we clicked because we were both
outsiders to the place.
Me:"Knock knock,I come bearing unsolicited advice"I say
when I enter his room.
He turns around and his face lights up in a smile and it is
for this that I know I'll do good being a psychologist.

I shut my eyes and sigh loudly as I enter Anthony's car.

Him:"Not even a hey baby kiss? "he complains.I just
shake my head.
''Long day?"I nod my head.
"I'm sorry baby"he kisses my forehead and starts the car.
He's come to pick me up from the centre.
Me:"I just need a long hot shower that's all"
To be honest if my shower doesn't sting a little I'm not
satisfied and Anthony always says that I'm trying to boil
him.
Him:"We can always just reschedule with my folks if you
feel you're too tired today"
Yup today is D day I'm going over to his parent's house.
Me:"Don't be silly my love I'm sure I'll be okay after a
shower plus I've already promised Mrs Gumede"
In all honesty I'm just exhausted but a trip to his folks
won't kill me or would it?
We get to his place and I freshen up quickly and slip into
my below the knee black dress with matching black
heels.I tie up my braids into a neat bun and put on just
lipstick.I then put a scarf around my shoulders,when I'm
done we head out.

My fatigue has now been replaced by anxiousness and

butterflies fluttering in my stomach when we reach his
parent's [Link] if he can sense that I'm scared he
grabs my hand and kisses it,he then nods in that "you can
do this" manner I also nod and give him a pressed smile.
My nerves shoot up when he rings in the intercom and
we drive in.
Him:"I love you for doing this"man he's really trying to
accommodate my nerves here.
Me:"Mhmm"I give him a tight smile which I can't help
akere there's this lump in my throat.
He kisses me and I yearn for more but we have to step
out the car.A knock on his window disrupts [Link]
lowers the window and a young man stands before us.
Young man:"Uhmm mom sent me to check if
everything's fine out here"
Anthony:"Everything's okay here dude tell mom we'll be
right out"
He says okay and [Link] chuckle then I do a lipstick
check and try to wipe some from Anthony but he doesn't
want me to.I see he wants his mom to think we were
making out in her house never mind it was just in his
car.I've said this I'm not winning in this daughter-in-law
thing!
We step out the car and get inside the [Link]'s jolly
chatter when we walk in and as we walk closer to what I
assume is the dining area I hear a rather familiar voice.
He spots me before I can.
"Pamella?"
"Dad??"I feel Anthony's fingers slip from mine and then
boom it's light out.
I try to open my eyes and they are heavy so I shut them
and try again.I open them wide but see nothing I blink a
few times and adjust to the darkness.
I'm in a bed and sure enough it's not mine because this
one is too [Link]??
I want to call out his name but stop myself when I think
of the possibility that I have been sucking faces and
making out with my brother.
I cry silently and hear movement in the edge of the bed.
Me:”Anthony?”my voice is shaking.
He jumps and is on my side in an instance.
Him:”Oh babe are you okay?”
Why's he still calling me babe?
Me:”Turn on the lights please”
He reaches on the bedside and the lights come on
blinding me.
Him:”You scared me”
Me:”Where is he?”
“I'm here”Dad [Link] he been in the room all this time.
Me:”Dad”all of a sudden my voice is gone.
Dad:”I had to make sure you're okay before I left for
home”
Me:”What's going on here Dad?”
Dad:”Gumede walk with me”he flat out ignores me.
I look to Anthony who gives me a “It's okay” look and I
nod.
They leave the room and leave me confused with
questions buzzing in my [Link] is a Gumede and
my Dad is a Musa or did he just keep his mother's
surname??No Anthony said his father is a Mr Gumede.
Mrs Gumede walks in as I am in constant battle with my
thoughts.
Mrs Gumede:”Ntomb’yam(my girl)”she says and gets
under the covers with me.
Me:”I'm sorry for messing up your dinner Mah”
Mrs Gumede:”It's okay my love,are you okay?How are
you feeling now?”
Me:”I'm okay,thanks.I'd just had a long day and seeing
Dad here also didn't help”
Mrs Gumede:”I know my baby Anthony explained he
didn't leave your side when you passed [Link] you
been to the doctor?”
Me:”No ma’am but I think it's high time I did for some
anxiety pills”
Mrs Gumede:”Okay you do that dear but only if a doctor
okays the meds”
I nod and she looks at me all smiley for a fraction of a
second too long.
Mrs Gumede:”I think you might be carrying a little
Gumede in there”
Ah-ha this confirms it that all of those times she's seen
me and Anthony together she thinks we'd been
shagging,I mean she did find me in his [Link]'s a good
thing we hadn't look now I would've been pregnant by
my half brother.I should give it up to Dad he hit 3 birds
with one stone no man scratch the stone this one is a
bulldozer straight… three women pregnant all at
once;my mom,Sbo’s mom and Anthony's mom hape
Noma is 27yrs old so is Sbo and Anthony and his twin
sister.
Me:”Oh no Mah I'm not trust me,I mean it wouldn’t look
good was I to be pregnant by my half brother”to be
honest this sounded less stupid in my head.
Mrs Gumede:”Oh you think…oh no child”she holds in a
laugh and me I'm confused.I nod and tears just fall
unbidden.
Mrs Gumede:”Oh my poor baby Hendry is not Anthony’s
father,my husband Mzwakhe is trust me I would
know”she says this and I guess couldn't hold it any longer
and giggles.
I couldn't care less if she were to even roll on her
stomach with laughter I mean me and Anthony don't
share a father khemaaan that calls for a celebration.
Whoooo to say I was relieved would be an
understatement I was fucking grateful!
Just then her son walks in and she excuses herself,he
doesn't look like himself kanti where did Dad “walk” with
him to he looks like he's walked through hell.
Him:”Your dad and my dad are business associates”
Me:”Oh I didn't know that”honestly I didn't.
Him:”They think we should break up”
Me:”Anthony no!”it's a cry more than a disagreement.

It's been a minimum of 3 dreadful weeks ever since that

coward broke up with me yes I said coward he didn't
even have the decency to drive me back to my [Link]
mother is the one who took me home busy comforting
me with sweet nothings.
For the next few days following the break up I did try
talking with Anthony but he gave me the whole
“honouring my father” bullshit story so I too said fuck it
and licked my wounds separately.
So today on this Friday my girls and I are cooped up in my
room mending our broken hearts well except for Nonz .
“I know saying it many times doesn't actually make it
okay but trust me babe eventually it will be”says Nonz
patting my back.
To be honest I'm sick of it and I'm done crying and
spending sleepless nights over a guy who couldn't stand
his ground and fight for us.
Me:”When's your next appointment to the gynae babe?I
ask trying to shift the attention from me.
I've never seen someone so unhappy about her
pregnancy she even dreads going to the check ups but
we always go with.
Anele:”Next week Tuesday babe”
She's not showing yet because she's only 2 months along.
Me:”I'm coming with”
Anele:”You don’t have to”
Me:”You're right I don't have to,but I want to.I'm the
godmother remember?”I drag the last part and flap my
eyelashes.
Nonz:”Ah-ah self appointed one at that”
Me:”What,would you rather you be the godmother?
Nonz:”Well why darling that child would be blessed to
have ME as a godmother”she says this in an English
accent.
Drama!Anele giggles at least she's not sad.
Me:”As she [Link] child is a blessing to us all,our
own little Anne Mae”
We all take it in and hug Anele with Nonz the drama
queen going as far as rubbing Anele’s flat stomach.
Anele:”Thank you [Link] or she isn't here yet but I feel
like she'll be loved”
Me:”As she should”
Nonz:”Pam shut up”
Me:”Not now devil”
Anele:”Hey you two break it off.I hope this will be the
case also when it comes to diaper changes”
Nonz:”Child I'm not changing no diaper”
Me:”Ai no you [Link] happened to “this child would
be ble…”
I don't even get to finish my sentence she smacks the
back of my [Link].
Nonz:”You shut up”
We all laugh and for a moment Anthony never
happened.

“Cha Noma you're not listening to me..” I half shout and

that scores me some looks in the taxi.
Noma:”Come home would you?”
Me:”I should just hang up because we're going in circles,I
won't come home Mr Dad isn't my favourite at the
moment”
Her:”Pam please he's been devastated”
Me:”As he should,I've been worse he literally took away
the one thing that made me happy”
Her:”With good reason…”
Me:”You stop right there Noma,well seeing that you
know so much about Dad's business tell me
something…is it doing better now that me and Anthony
are broken up ye?!We were doing fine before we knew
of our father's being associates,was their business
running at a loss when we were together?!We were
okay,they were okay”I say with my voice [Link] I
will not cry!
I've repeated this so many times to convince people that
me and Anthony were going to turn out fine regardless of
anything but I've been made to realize that I repeat it so
many times so to convince myself than the next person
really.
Her:”Okay baby just come home and hear him out”
Me:”Noma he knows where I live”
Her:”Okay I'm done with this you're as stubborn as he is”
Me:”It wasn't your place to begin with”
Her:”Hhu Pamella shoot me for wanting us to be a family
once more”she hangs up.
I've already jumped off the taxi I just put my phone back
in my bag and start out towards the mall.
10mins later I'm moving with the line with having already
placed my order well actually it's for [Link] Steer
burger is one of her cravings.
My order is called forward thank God and just as I move
to the counter I feel something weighing me on my
shoulders and you wouldn't believe what I saw.
It was Anthony walking in with a woman who's got her
arm around his [Link] heart sinks to the pit of my
stomach.
Here I was thinking that he was cornered and the only
option he had out was to give up our relationship but no
HE wanted it as much as our fathers [Link] else would
he be out and about with other people,we've only been
separated for a mere month!
They call for my order once more and I quickly make a
grab for it but I guess I wasn't fast enough because when
I look up he's right in front of me.
I bump into him and my eyes glimmer with tears and I
look up to stop them from falling when I look at him
again he's frowning.
“Anthony could you get me a…”the female appears from
behind him and stops when she sees me she also frowns.
Mxm
Me:”I'm sorry”I say and literally flee the place.
“Pamella”he shouts behind me but I dare not look back.
This man clearly didn't respect our relationship why
would he travel all the way from Morningside and come
to have lunch here at Westwood or vele he wanted me
to see her.
My head is abuzz with questions that I don't even see
when I've run right into the middle of the road.
I just get a shock and suddenly freeze with all the hoots
around me and before I could make a run a car tries to
brake in front of me a little too late.
Chapter Five

“God please *sniff*…please spare her life.I *sniff*

wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I killed
her,Lord I don't even know her family”a male voice says
if I'm not mistaken and then he just breaks down.
I don't know this voice…oh God…am I dead??I need
water my throat is dry…I try to open my eyes…sheesh
they're so heavy so I resort to groaning surely whomever
is busy crying next to me will hear me…ahhh no voice…I
must be dead…I sink back into a deep sleep…again.

I don't know when I fell asleep but when I wake up the

voice is there making a promise to God that they'll go
back to church should He save “her life”.Whomever this
person is,he sure is out of his depth for him to be making
such promises I giggle but don't even hear my own voice
and who's this her he keeps referring to…

Voice:“Hi it's me again…I,you need to wake up…I need to

apologize…I-I don't know I tried to stop but it was too
late you…you were already there in front of me…I'm so
sorry…please God…”
I clear my [Link] my eyes open!Ouch the light is too
much.I close my eyes and open them again only to find a
male figure looking down at me [Link]'s he???
Guy:”Oh thank you God!”he jumps and wipes his tears.
Ahh he's the [Link] this be heaven??
He goes towards the door and screams.
Guy:”Can I get a nurse in here please?!”he says and
rushes back to my bedside he keeps smiling at
[Link]!
And what's this nurse nonsense he's talking [Link]
am I??
We sit in silence until I realize ukuth ai no I am parched
shame.
Me:”water please”I say in a whisper I hope he heard me.
He frowns looking like he's trying to decipher what I've
just said I on the other hand want to cry my throat is
Kalahari dry.
Guy:”I'm sorry what was that?”
I just brush my throat.
Guy:”Water?”
Alas yes I [Link] jumps and gets me a glass of water with
a [Link] tries to give me the water while I'm lying on
my back facing [Link] mistake.I choke on the water.
Is he trying to kill me??
Guy:”I'm so sorry”
“Imma need you to step away from her sir”a nurse says
walking in and helps me sit up.
I'm just coughing one way and it doesn't help that my
body [Link]'s like I've been run over by a car or
something…run over by a car aha!
Me:”You…YOU ran me over!”whoo my voice sounds so
horrible like that one of a drunkard.
The voice guy jumps at what I just said he should just be
the face of Puma and replace the jumping cat logo and
they put him instead he jumps for everything.
I look at him hard waiting for him to say something and
he just drops his eyes to the floor.
Guy:”I'm sorry…I'm really really sorry,I tried to stop but I
guess…”he goes on his knees and breaks down busy
apologizing.
I also start crying wondering how long I've been
here,why isn't my family here with me?My family…I want
my Dad I want him to come get me.
“Miss are you okay?”asks the nurse.I didn't realize I had
zoned out.
I look beside me and that guy is on his knees still.
Me:”Could you leave please?”
He is taken back by this and slowly gets up and leaves
with his head in his shoulders.I look at the nurse and she
nods and turns to leave.I don't know why she was here
to begin with all I wanted was water.
I stop her in her tracks.
Me:”Could you lend me your phone please”she reaches
in her pocket and frowns.
Me:”Please I'll make sure to replace your airtime when
my Dad gets here”she eases up and draws out her phone
from her pocket.
People and money shame!!!
It's a good thing I know my Dad's number off by [Link]
rings for a good two minutes before he picks up.
Dad:”H-hello”he sounds like he's been sleeping kanti
what time is it??
Me:”Dad”
Dad:”Who's this?”
Me:”It's me Dad,Pamella”
I literally hear him jump to his feet like I startled him.
Dad:”Pamella where are you?”
I have no idea also but I've figured I'm at a hospital just
which one is what I don't know.I ask the nurse who gives
me a bored look probably because of her airtime but she
does tell me.
Me:”Umhlanga Hospital”
Dad:”Hospital ngik’zwe [Link] are you doing
there??”
Me:”Was run over by a car listen Dad I can't speak for
long just wanted to let you know of my
whereabouts,bye”
I hang up and return phone to owner.
Me:”Thank you erhh..(I quickly look at her name tag)Sis
Ntsoaki”she nods.
Her:”I'll go tell the doctor you're up”
She leaves and I get to be alone with my thoughts.I try to
think really really hard as to where was I going ngize
ngishayiswa imoto.
I really fry my brain thinking but everything else is a blur
all I'm able to recollect is the hooting of cars and I see the
driver's eyes open wide as his car comes straight for me
after that I don't remember anything.
Me:”Damn!”I say through clenched teeth.
“Don't beat yourself up too much,it would all come
back”a female voice says and I look towards the door.
A beautiful blue eyed woman stands at the door and
when my eyes land on hers she smiles and walks towards
me gracefully.
This must be the doctor called for me.
Blue eyes:”Hi,I'm Dr April Winters…How's my patient
doing today?”
Winters…that seems to ring a bell but I just can't place
[Link] this is frustrating why can't I remember?!
Dr Winters:”Heyyy don't worry it will be okay,you're
awake now that's a good place to start”I nod and wipe
away a tear.
Me:”How long have I been out?”
Dr Winters picks up a file at the foot of my bed and
studies it.
Her:”says here 3 days today being the 4th but that
doesn’t count you're awake now.”
Me:”And how did I get here?”she smiles.
Her:”You were brought in by a rather hysterical Mr Africa
Zwane who didn't leave your side ever since you got
here.I'm surprised not seeing him here”must be the voice
guy.
Me:”Oh I told him to leave,I don't know who he is”
Her:”Seems he didn't either because he didn't register
you under any name here he just put acquaintance”I roll
my eyes at that part.
Me:”My name is Pamella Musa”
Her:”It's nice to meet you Pamella you've been such a
good patient,you didn't even give me any trouble.I even
forgot I had you it was as if you were dead”she says and
laughs.
Lucky for her I understand dark humour so I join in.
“Right this way Mr Musa”says nurse Ntsoaki motioning
my father towards my room.
He isn't alone,Noma comes rushing towards me and pulls
me in for a bone crashing hug I groan.
She lets go and looks at me with tears in her eyes then
hugs me again and looks at me [Link] she's being
weird.
Noma:”Oh my God I've been so worried..I thought
that..Oh God…I wouldn't have been able to live with
myself if I lost you…I mean when we last spoke it
was…”she just breaks down and Sbo rushes to her side
and rubs her back.
What's she on about??What happened when we last
spoke.
Dad gives me a weird look all this time he's just been
standing at the entrance of the [Link] and this fine
ass male specimen actually.
I take Noma’s hand when she calms.
Me:”Hey babe don't cry,we'll be [Link] didn't lose
me,you're not getting rid of me that easily”she smiles
faintly.
Sbo looks at me I mean really looks at me and I see pain
etched in his face.
He then places a kiss on my forehead it is then that I
realize that I have a bandage on.
Sbo:”Don't scare me like that again”
He has a look on his face I get it he's lost someone he
loved before,I now see how my disappearance impacted
my family probably why Dad is being distant.
But I'm here now why won't he embrace me and who's
he with?
Me:”Noma…who's Dad with?”I thought I had whispered
but clearly I didn't because everyone turned to look at
me.
Fine male specimen really looked at me and if I'm reading
his face correctly he looks hurt and shocked by my
question but why?He doesn't say anything nobody does
they just keep to themselves.
Dr Winters enters the room with a tray of food,I didn't
notice that she had left the room.
Dr Winters:”You've been taken off fluids and I'm sure
you'd like something solid”
Kwa-solid yin because all I can see are vegetables huge
chunks of them.I frown and could swear I heard Dad
stifle a laugh.
Dad:”Doctor what's wrong with my daughter,she's being
weird?”
Really Dad!
We all turn to her she nods and she gives us her pretty
smile.
Dr Winters:”Miss Musa hit her head very hard when she
collided with the car and because of this she's suffered
memory loss”I gasp.
Dr Winters:”Oh no sweety don't worry it's only short
term memory loss,it's temporary she doesn't remember
anything that happened a month prior to the accident or
the events of the day leading up to her accident”and
she's correct I've BEEN trying to remember where I was
headed when I got hit by the car.
“Excuse me”says the fine male specimen.
He doesn't even wait for us to say anything he just
[Link] I was still enjoying the view hell I'd been
asleep for 3 days so it's nice to open my eyes and see fine
people like [Link] amehlo kunin evaliwe.
Dad:”So you're saying she doesn't remember anything?”
Dr Winters nods and Dad sighs what's with him vele??
The Dr excuses herself and promises to come back later
when she's doing her rounds.
Noma:”You'll be okay my love,you heard the doctor say
it's only [Link]'ll help you remember”she says
before shoving another spoonful in my [Link] she's
feeding me.
Me:”Yippie does this mean that I get to re-live all of ya’lls
last month pay day and go on a shopping spree?”
Noma:”No matter what you'd never forget pay day wena
gold digger”
I gasp fake appalled and we all laugh except for Dad.I
wonder what's the deal with him.
Ngzoke ngizwe.
Time is up and my family has to leave,Noma is so clingy!!
We say our goodbyes and I dare not forget to ask Dad for
money to pay nurse Ntsoaki.
Nurse Ntsoaki:”Time for you to take your pills”she says
and places the pills beside me and turns to leave.
Me:”I believe I owe you this”I say holding a R200 note.
Nurse Ntsoaki:”Thank you sisi,I will come check up on
you again before I knock [Link] take your pills so long
neh?”she smiles at me busy tucking in the sheets of my
bed.
Wemali ngyaksaba!!!See now I'm being called sisi.

I wonder what is it that's in these pills that they give me

in this hospital because they knock me out cold,I don't
even turn at night.
It's morning of the next day,I don't even know what day
it is.I've already had a bath and I'm now sitting up playing
with my food.
“A penny for your thoughts?”someone says and I already
know who it is,it's the voice guy I should recognize his
voice hape it's the only thing I had been hearing when I
was “asleep” or passed out or whatever.
He stands by the door and I look at him blankly.
Voice Guy:”Can I come in?”he asks and I smile faintly
nodding.
He gets in and stands at the foot of my bed and we fall
into a heavy silence,tention looming all over the room.I
don't know what to say to him because I chased him out
yesterday and also I feel like I was at fault with the
accident.I just continue playing with my food.
Voice Guy:”I guess this King Steer burger will come in
handy then”he chuckles nervously pointing at my food.
I hadn't realized he had a doggy bag with him but how
did he know that I like me some King Steer??
Voice Guy:”You had a King Steer takeaway with you
when…erhhm…I'm sorry”he drops his eyes to the floor.
King Steer??Was I out to grab something to eat?
I look at him and wish he'd just stop beating himself up
about this,I'm alive aren't I?
Me:”It's okay,I'm okay…and thank you”
I say and without the intention snatch the doggy bag
from him and he [Link] has a sweet smile.
Ahh double cheese just how I like it!His phone rings and
he excuses himself.I waste no time and start [Link] it
turns out that I am here for a long period of time I should
be sulky more around this guy and guilt trip him into
buying me food because I can't deal with lomshwaqo
that they serve in this hospital.
“The devil is a liar!!”I look up and by the door there
stands Nonz and Anele.
Anele has this radiant glow about her,maybe Luvuyo
finally cleaned up his act and started treating her right.
They come towards me and hug me and we shed some
tears but Anele just becomes a whole weeping mess.I get
it though I'd also be hysterical if I were to lose one of
them.
Anele:”Don't ever scare us like that again,you almost
sent me into early labour”
Helang early labour??
Me:”You're pregnant?”
She gives me a “duhh” look and when she sees that I'm
lost she frowns.
Nonz:”Babe are you okay?”
I tell them what the doctor told me;all I could remember
about the accident.
Anele:”This is all my fault had I not have those stupid
cravings you wouldn't have gone out and got hurt”she
starts crying [Link] rubs her back.I take her hand.
Me:”Hey don't do that to yourself you couldn't have
[Link]'t stress it's not good for my baby”she smiles.
Anele:”I'm sorry”
Me:”I'm okay babes just a little memory loss but I'm as
strong as an ox”
Nonz:”Aww shame friend suwunqonjwana(a person who
loses their mind)”
Me:”Not now devil”I say and we laugh.
Just then Africa(voice guy to you,yes I'm calling him by
his name phela he bought me food)walks in but stops
when he sees I have company.
Africa:”Oh sorry,I'll come back later”
Nonz:”You don't have to go”
Nonz looks at him like a piece of cake the kind that stays
in your stomach for nine months she's literally raping the
guy with her eyes then she turns to me and mouths
“who's he?” and I also mouth “that's him”. I had told
them about Africa running into me.
I've never seen someone's mood change that quickly she
got up from the bed and charged towards the guy.
Nonz:”You bastard you almost cost me my best friend!”
Poor Africa just stood there [Link] tried to stop
her but she wasn't fast enough.
Me:”Nonz no!”she punched Africa in the throat and he
instantly fell down.
We all gasped when we heard him hit the ground
sounded like something delicate broke.
Nonz:”Shit!”

I guess it was a good thing that we were already in a

hospital when Nonz knocked out Africa hee that one you
should have seen how she was panicking when Africa
wasn't responding to her slaps.
She also wanted to slap me when I rang the bell for a
nurse to come in saying I'm trying to get her attested ai
no guys nginomngan mina.
We told the nurse that he slipped and fell and he also ran
with the story when he came to,I guess he'll do anything
to have me forgive him but I don't think he realizes how
dangerous that is you should never ever let me have my
way I repeat NEVER ever!
Me:”Is it safe to come in?”I say standing at the entrance
of Africa's room.
He nods and motions for me to come in.
Him:”Where's Female Mayweather?”he asks looking
behind me.
I know he's referring to Nonz so I just giggle and he
smiles back at me sweetly.
Me:”She's gone back home,she's really sorry you know”
Him:”It's okay,I'm fine”he says placing his hand on mine.
I look at it and I've never seen someone take their hand
back that fast.
My eyes wander all over the room but on him.
Me:”If you're okay then why are you here?”
Him:”Arghh you know these new age doctors they'll
admit you for anything should they just see your healthy
medical aid”he says this with so much attitude that I
can't help but laugh.
I stop though when I find him just adoringly looking at
me.
Him:”You have beautiful eyes”
I flush.
Me:”Thank you”
Silence loud awkward silence!
Me:”I should go,visiting hours are over”he chuckled.
Him:”I'll discharge myself tomorrow and go get you your
King Steer”
Me:”You better”I say and head for the door.
Him:”Good night beautiful”I nod.
Beautiful??that sounds awfully familiar like I've been
called beautiful before,of course I've been called
beautiful many times before but this time it seems like it
had been my name for a moment.
“It would come back to me some day”I think to myself
and get in bed.

Africa did come by during lunchtime and brought my

food with him,it's a good thing I'm being discharged
tomorrow otherwise I would have to be rolled out of
here because he was on a mission to feed me burgers so
long as I'm in this hospital.
Me:”I guess you couldn't discharge yourself huh?”
Him:”No actually your friend did good by knocking me
out now I can see you anytime without having to be told
about “visiting hours”he says and chuckles nervously.
This guy needs to relax I've long forgiven him.
Me:”Then if you're here who bought my food?”
Him:”A friend”
Me:”You didn't have to go through that much trouble”
Him:”Yes but I wanted to and really I don't mind”
Me:”Okay join me for lunch then”
Him:”No I don't want to impose”I roll my eyes at him.
Me:”Come here”I shift and make room for him to sit with
me on the bed.
He contemplates getting in,I can see by the lines forming
on his forehead.
Me:”Come on”I whine.
He does get in bed and I feel his body is tense so I just
bring the tray forward and cut the burger into two and
give him the other halve.
Me:”Take”
I hand him his piece and then circle my arm around his
he also does the same and so we eat our burger with our
arms [Link] share giggles.
I look into his dark brown eyes and they dance around
with genuine joy.I've never really given myself a chance
to look at this guy because for some same strange reason
it feels like I should be looking for some other specific
person who I don't know also hence why you've never
heard me describe the guy.
But here it goes he is snuggly and I mean that in a good
way I'm not saying he's fat or stuffed or whatever but he
has this kind aura about [Link] is fair skinned,bald with
thick eyebrows and a round face with thin small lips.
His body is regular but you can see it's well taken care
of,it's toned.

“This is rather cosy”if it isn't Female Mayweather.

I feel Africa tense beside me and I want to laugh but the
guy is frightened.
He quickly jumps off the bed and excuses himself.
Me:”Kodwa Nonz you've traumatized the guy”
Her:”Ai suka it's not my fault he doesn't have a pair”
I gasp where did I get her again??
Her:”And you little miss I can see you want him in your
guts rather then hating his guts,I mean he ran you over”
Me:”Arghh Nonz let it go hle,anyway what are you doing
here?”
Her:”Wow so just because I spoke of him you want me
gone,what's happening between you two vele?”
Me:”Please devil not now abeg”
She claps her hands once ai i-drama kulosisi.
Her:”I'm here with Anele,we came for her check up”
Me:”Why are you here then?Shouldn’t….”
Her:”It's okay Pamella I'll leave seeing that I'm not
wanted here,now I feel how Anthony felt”
She doesn't even let me finish my sentence.
Me:”Whoah Nonz I was going to ask shouldn't we go be
with her and who's this Anthony you're talking about?”
All of a sudden she couldn't look me in the eye.
Me:”Nontobeko Vivian Mtolo you will answer me!”I half
shout because she's hiding something from me and she
knows very well that I'm trying to regain my memory.
She gives me a tight smile.
Her:”We should go see Anele,I'm sure she's with the
doctor now”she says and turns to leave.
I throw my hands in the air in frustration and follow
behind her.
We go see Anele and the baby is growing healthy and
[Link] go back to my room and chill there for a bit
before they have to go,I have this feeling like there's
something they're not telling me these two but I won't
push it.
Like yesterday I go to check up on Africa before I turn in
and he promises to come see me before I leave.
I toss and turn the whole night a part of me anxious
about leaving tomorrow and another part trying to
remember…
Tomorrow finally comes wohooo!!I don't like hospitals
but my stay here was made bearable by Dr Winters and
Africa.
I wake up and go take a bath then slip into the clothes
that Noma brought for me yesterday and she also put
flops in there my girl!
I make my bed and pack my things when I come across
the fork and knife I've been using to eat my burger and a
smile reaches my face absentmindedly.
“A penny for your thoughts?”
Me:”I was just thinking about you”
Him:”Happy thoughts I hope”
Me:”You bet”he smiled.
Him:”I've come to see you off,I see you're all set”he says
pointing to my bag.
Me:”Yes I can't wait to leave this place”
Him:”I got you something”he says and draws his left arm
from behind him and gives me a small packet.
Me:”What's in here?”I ask eyeing him suspiciously.
Him:”Why don't you take a look for yourself”and I do.
I gave him a look,no I can't take this.
Him:”I figured since I broke yours I should get you a new
one”
Me:”Africa you didn't have to”
“Yes but I wanted to since..”we both say but he stops
mid-sentence.
Me:”Yeah yeah I know thanks anyways”
I say and pull him in a for hug we stay like that for a
fraction of a minute too long until I feel this heavy
presence in the [Link] I lift up my head from
Africa's shoulder I am met by hazel brown eyes ogling
me.
Shoot it's the fine male specimen he isn’t alone though
he's with an elegantly dressed middle aged woman who
looks like him,she clears her throat.I quickly get out of
Africa's [Link]'t ask me why.
Africa looks at me dumbfounded and I just keep my gaze
toward the door that's when he also turns.
Africa:”Oh hi,excuse me.I will be on my way”this guy with
running.
Me:”wait…thank you again”I say and hug him once more.
He bought me a phone make that an iPhone [Link]
nods and says sorry to “my visitors”and leaves.
Woman:”Sawbona makoti”
Aibo makoti??
Me:”Sawbona Mah”I look at the fine male specimen and
he only keeps to himself.
Woman:”How are you feeling now my dear?”she looks at
me holding me at arms length inspecting me when she
sees my bandage she frowns.
Who is she again??
Me:”I'm okay Mah thanks for asking”
Woman:”Were you heading somewhere?”she says
looking at my bags.
Obviously I'm bound to leave the hospital.
Me:”Yes ma’am actually I'm waiting on my Dad to come
fetch me”
Woman:”I'm sure Hendry won't mind if we take you
home ourself,would it be a problem Anthony?”
Ye she knows my Dad??And bathong who is this
Anthony??
Me:”Actually Mah I would mind,I want my family to
come get me”
She nods but her face drops and now I feel bad for saying
no.
Fine male specimen:”I told you it wasn't a good idea to
come here Mah,come let's go”
Ok what's the problem with him??!Why is he being so
spicy??
Woman:”Okay Makoti,I'll see you around?”I nod I don't
want to see her sad,she smiles and gets up to leave.
Where's my Dad??!!

Eons later my dad rocks up like he isn't late.

Dad:”Intestine”I turn and look at him all smiley.
Mxm he'd said he'll be here in the morning and Dad's
never been late when it comes to me,I can't put my
finger on it but I feel like there's a void between us.
He's just been acting shady like now he rocks up late and
thinks he can soften me up by calling me by my “pet
name” intestine is what they call me which is ithumbu.
This is how it came about I am the last born in the family
and also I am smart and when talking about smart you
suddenly think about Einstein right?So you do the math
thumbu + Einstein=intestine at least that's what my
family tells me when I ask about the [Link] back to
shady Mr Dad.
Me:”You definitely took your time”I say folding my arms.
He rolls his eyes at [Link] man!!!
Dad:”Come on I'm here now and hurry up I have to settle
your bill”
“That won't be necessary”
Ahh Dr Winters I'm so going to miss her.
Dad:”Excuse me what was that?”
Dr Winters:”You were talking about Miss Musa’s bill
right?”
We both nod.
Dr Winters:”Mr Zwane asked for everything to be
charged on him and he's settled it”
No this is too much now,Africa must stop splurging on
me carelessly.
Dad beams helang longoqo lo.
Me:”I'm pretty sure the bill wouldn't have left a dent on
your bank account Dad so stop looking so relieved”
He gasps [Link] King!
Dad:”I think I like this Africa character…Africa huh”he
says and shakes his head smiling.
Dr Winters:”Please sign here”
She hands me the discharge forms and I sign and give
them back to her then pull her in for a long intense
hug,in a way I feel like she saved my life.
Me:”Thank you for your hospital-ity”I say and we both
giggle.
Dr Winters:”It's been a pleasure,you were a good sport”
She pulls me into a hug of her own and this time we
linger in each other's arms really long until Dad cleared
his throat.
Dr Winters:”I have to get going,this is your prescription
and please stay away from cars”
Me:”If I do that then how else am I going to land up in
here with you?”I ask frowning she laugh like really
laughs.
Dr Winters:”You're crazy,you'll be back here to remove
that bandage so you'll see me sooner than later all the
while stay away from cars!”she says pointing a finger at
my face.
I nod and she turns to leave but I stop her in her heels,I
have to ask…
Me:”Dr Winters uhmmm…is Africa still there?”she gives
me a knowing smile.
Dr Winters:”I think he is…”I don't wait for her to finish.
Me:”Dad I know your car you can go wait for me there”I
say handing him my bag and run for Africa's room.
I hear Dr Winters and my Dad chuckle behind me.
Me:”Africa?!”I say swinging into his room and stop on my
tracks when I see him sitting on the bed with his head
hanging.
Me:”Hey…are you okay?”I ask walking towards him.
He raises his head and smiles [Link] eyes move with
me all the way towards his bed until I'm standing in front
of him he doesn't say anything.
I also don't say anything and just stand in front of him.
Me:”Talk to me”he raises his head and looks at me and I
mean really look at me like he's thinking of something.
Next thing I know he pulls me to him and buries his head
on my stomach and breaks down.
Ok what do I do when a grown man is crying??Bathong
breathalyser!!!
I just brush the top of his head until he calms down by
then my top is in a pool of his waterworks.
He gets up from the bed and wipes his tears away,his
cheeks are now pink.
Him:”I'm so sorry…I'm just glad that you survived…thank
you for coming back to me and your family.I wouldn't
have been able to…”
I take his hand into mine.
Me:”Mangethe please stop this,stop beating yourself up
about something you didn't have any control over.I've
long forgiven you I mean I was also to blame and I've let
[Link] should too”he does that look at me deeply thing
again and I mirror it.
Next thing you know he leans in and inches his face too
close to mine and he places a wet peck on my lips and I
don't respond so he pulls back.
Him:”I'm sorry I-I…”
Me:”I should go,I came to say thank you”
Him:”Thank you also for coming back to us”I nod.
Me:”I guess I'll see you around”
Him:”I'll keep in touch”
Keep in touch how??I'm leaving the hospital mos that's
how he was able to see me.
Him:”I have your number and I've saved mine in your
phone also,hope you don't mind”he smiles nervously.
Me:”Thanks once again”I say and really turn to leave
now.
As soon as I step out his room I let out a breath I wasn't
even aware I was holding and I sigh loudly,what just
happened back there?
Chapter Six
It's been two whole weeks since I've been back from the
hospital and Dad was hell bent on having me stay over at
his house.
I tried to put up an argument saying that I needed to go
back to the house so Kwanda can help me catch up but
what he did next shut me [Link] brought Kwanda from
the house and had her live with us for the while.
Kwanda has been a really great study buddy,right now
we're walking to go catch the bus and we're headed to
the centre.
Kwanda:”Wait a minute babe,I'm waiting for someone”
Me:”Who?”
Kwanda:”My…oh here she is”
A pretty,slim and petite brown skin girl makes her way
towards us grinning.
When she gets to us she places a kiss on Kwanda’s lips
and giggles when she pulls [Link] I missing
something??
Kwanda:”Sharon this is Pamella my
housemate/classmate/babysittee”I frown at the last part
and she holds in a laugh.
Sharon:”Hi”she says shaking my hand.
Kwanda:”And Pamella this is Sharon,my girlfriend”she
says this while looking at her eyes and they both smile
fondly at each other.
Me:”Oh my God this is so beautiful”I say rather out loud.
Kwanda:”You think?”
Me:”What do you mean “you think?”.Of course man love
is a beautiful thing”she shakes her head laughing lightly.
Me:”What?”
Kwanda:”Last time you..let's say a month ago when I told
you that me and sweet cheeks here had broken up,you
were taken back and went on to refer to us as “you
people”she says this and laughs.
I on the other hand don't actually my jaw is on the floor.
Me:”I said that?Oh my God I'm so awful”
Sharon:”It's okay it happens to the best of us”
I shake my head no.
Kwanda:”It's okay really,we have to [Link] babe
come see me over at the house later when I finish up at
the centre”
Me:”Over to which house?I hope not Hendrys’ because if
you think that I referred to you as “you people” because I
was caught off guard which I truly was then Mr Dad will
have the church ladies come over and pray for you and
sprinkle you with Holy water”
Kwanda:”I need some cookie so Hendry could miss me
with that,I guess I won't be sleeping over your house
tonight”
She says and we laugh then part ways with Sharon with
of course Kwanda seeing her off with a [Link]!

We arrive at the centre and I get my access card and

have to sign a register and I see that I haven't been here
for 4 visits,my patient must feel neglected.
I don't remember much about him but the notes I take
during our sessions have been a great help.
The name of my patient is Nkosinathi Jali 18yrs old and is
a burn survivor.
Me:”Knock,knock”
Dr Winters:”Ahh Miss Musa,great to have you back”
Me:”Good to be back”
Me and Dr Winters have been meeting here in the centre
in the last two weeks that I've been back but I didn't go
see Nkosi during those times because I needed Dr
Winters to bring me up to speed first.
And no this is not the Dr Winters from back at the
hospital but they are related actually it's mother and
[Link] is why back at the hospital I felt like I
know her last name from somewhere.
Dr Winters senior is a psychologist and her daughter is a
doctor. The psychologist is Becky Winters and the other
one is April Winters.
Dr Winters Snr:”Come your patient has been waiting on
you,I've told you how he refused to talk anyone else but
you right?We'll have a problem when you've completed
your task and have to leave for good”she says as we're
walking.
Suddenly she stills in front of a door and motions for me
to go in.
Dr Winters Snr:”Here you are”
Me:”Thank you”she nods and leaves.
I stand outside the door and contemplate going in.
I think of how he will respond to the fact that I can't
remember him I mean he's already an orphan and I don't
want to make him feel unimportant or unwanted.
Damn you memory loss!
Kanti how long is this short term ye??It's been two weeks
and memory still dololo.
“Aren't you going to come in?”says a bass voice from
inside the room.
I hadn't realized that I was standing exactly at his door so
I smile and I get in.
I know he's been told about my condition but I want to
know how he feels about this all.
Me:”Hi,my name is Pamella Musa and I'm here to be
your vault where you can offload your emotions”I say all
jolly and he smiles.
Nkosi:”I'm Nkosi Jali,I appreciate you being here…once
again”I nod.
I clear my throat for what I'm about to ask…
Me:”I have an understanding that we've talked about
this but because of my memory loss we have to do it
again..but only if you're comfortable”he nods.
I want to hear him tell his story and see how he feels
about it.
So he starts telling his story and I see that losing his
mother hit him hard pain is etched all over his face but
his face hardens when he speaks of his father he's really
angry at him.I would be too if my father tried to burn me
alive.
I don't know fam had this been me as soon as I survived
that fire and made it out,I would've looked for my Mr
Dad and killed him kuhanjwe phezu kwakhe same time
alale engabalwanga ngisho nasejele.
Me:”Thank you for sharing that with me and I need you
to understand one [Link] are not the one to blame
for your father's actions and another thing you need to
understand is you had to go through that fire so you can
come out strong on the other end,I mean you are strong.
God spared you for a reason,you have a purpose hell
your name is King that should tell you something”I say
and he smiles looking at me.
Me:”What do I have something on my forehead?”he
shakes his head no.
Him:”No you don't it's just that those are exactly the
same words you said to me when I first told you my
story..you didn't forget me”he says the last part in a low
tone.
Me:”Who would forget a King?”yoh the way he blushes!
It is for this reason that I chose psychology I want to
make the next person smile and laugh just after they've
been sad because that also makes me smile so it's a joint
[Link] and Nkosi sit and talk for hours on end.
“There you are”me and Nkosi turn back towards the door
and Africa is there.
Africa:”I've come to get you my love”
I smile at him and Nkosi frowns.
Me:”I'll see you next time King,you keep well so long and
keep using that diary..”
Nkosi:”…it's a substitute for when you're not here I get it
but this diary doesn't do justice to you it doesn't make
me feel good and smile like you do Queen”I nod
knowingly.
Me:”I have to go”I hug him and he kisses the top of my
head.
We hear Africa clear his voice and we pull back laughing.
I walk towards the door and give Africa my bag.
Me:”My love,do you mind?”he rolls his eyes at me.
I giggle.
Him:”After you madam”he says chuckling.
We walk together hand in hand and we pass by the
reception to leave my access card and everything.
Yes me and him are seeing each other it's been a few
days now after I left the hospital he did keep to his word
and kept in touch actually he called me on my first day
back at home asking if I had arrived safely at home.
After that he'd call everyday and wouldn't stop there
he'll come around the house and campus with roses and
food.I remember Tuesday of the last week before the last
he confessed his feelings for me and at first I turned him
down but he didn't stay down.
What I loved was that even when I turned him down he
still showed up the next day with my food so that's when
I decided to give him a chance,why not he's a nice guy
and also I've been single for as long as I could remember.
I had vowed to never get in another relationship until I
finish studying after my ex-boyfriend Sam but Africa
seems like a genuinely nice guy.
We drive home to my Dad's house where I am to pick up
my overnight bag and then we'd go over to Africa’s place.
Me:”Dad you're home?”I say when I enter the lounge.
Dad:”No I'm in my house”
Pshh I roll my eyes at him.
Dad:”Is that Zwane you came with?”he says looking
behind me.
Heee let me tell you guys the way my father likes Africa
it's like he is one of his children and I wouldn't put it past
Dad because y'all know him and impregnanting multiple
[Link] get along like a house on fire we've even
had him over for dinner like you don't understand.
It's funny and also suspicious I mean you'd expect your
father to be angry at the guy who ran you over and
almost killed you right??
I guess I shouldn't be the one to talk because here I am
dating the guy who ran me over almost killing me.
Me:”Yes Dad it's him”
Dad:”Why did you leave him behind?”
Helang am I his keeper now??Had I known that ukujola
nomuntu who almost killed you is acceptable I would
have had a car run me over a long time ago.
Me:”Dad we're not staying long,I'll just get my bag and
go”he doesn't listen to me rather he pushes me aside
and goes outside to Africa.
I sigh and go upstairs to pick up my bag and find myself
doing some last minute “I think I'll also need this”
packing.
When I get downstairs Dad and Africa are having drinks.
Ngyalingwa!
I clear my throat to grab their attention but they don't
flinch so I clear it louder and eventually choke well this
most certainly grabs Africa’s attention because he
springs to his feet and is by my side rubbing my back.
My Dad on the other hand is a goner with laughter.
Africa:”Here babe”he hands me his juice.
I take it and calm down then punch him on his shoulder
and shove my bag to his chest before turning towards
the [Link] amuses Dad.
Me:”You'll find me in the car”I say and walk away.
Africa:”Bab’Musa I can’t stay long looks like I'm in
trouble”
Dad:”Good bye and good luck son”
I hear them chuckle behind me,morons.
The drive to his house is silent but not that awkward
silence.
I've been to his house before we had our second date
here where he cooked me a divine dinner,so when the
car comes to a halt and we're parked in I'm the first one
to get out the car and grab my bag.
I'm still a little fake mad at him so I bang the door and
hear him sigh.I know he'll be cracking his head trying to
make it up to me.
I head to the bathroom and straight to the shower when
I get inside the house.
When done I rinse the bath tub and wrap a towel around
my body and get out.
He's not in the bedroom when I get there so I just take
out my nightie and lay it on the bed before lotioning.
After that I decide to paint my toenails I believe I had
mentioned that I am a sucker for nice feet and that
doesn't necessarily mean they have to be “pretty” or
anything you could have bad feet but at least keep your
toe nails groomed and all [Link] on!
As I'm busy painting my toe nails he comes and places
something on the dresser before me.
Him:”Thought you would need this after the long day you
had”he smiles nervously.
Me:”Thank you very much”
It's a glass of red wine,I've got him where I want [Link]
the making up begin!

“Babe wake up,your phone is ringing”he says shaking me

lightly.
Me:”Mangethe leave me alone please”I hear him smile.
He likes it when I call him by his clan name and me I use
it to soften him up or have my way with him.
Him:”It won't stop ringing”
I raise my head from the pillow and open just one eye
because I don't want to lose any sleep.I take my phone
from him and switch it off.
Me:”There!”I say and pull the covers over my head.
He laughs at me and we go back to sleep again.
Ai no I spoke too soon because just a few seconds into
my sleep he shakes me again.
I push the covers back violently and sit up.
Me:”What is it?!”
Him:”Nonz is on the phone for you”he says handing me
his phone
Yes he has all my friend's numbers he insisted saying that
he wants to have an alternative when he can't reach me
and wants to know that I'm safe all the time.
Me:”You better have a good reason for waking me up!”I
hiss.
Her:”Bitch you forgot didn't you?”
Me:”Forgot what?”
Her:”Don't tell me Africa ran you over again but with dick
this time”
Guys I'm auctioning my friend the bidding starts at R0.00
any takers??!
Me:”Nonz you need Jesus together with his disciples”
Her:”And you need a hot klap to knock some memory
back in you and so help me God if I get there and you're
not ready”
Me:”What is it Anele’s appointment today?”
I am seriously lost.
Her:”No we have brunch nje Pamella,you insisted on this
saying “we need time to wind down” come on”
Me:”I'm sorry my love I totally forgot oh God look…I'm
not cancelling but can you guys just come over to Africa’s
house and he'll cook us lunch”
Her:”Okay vele I am low on cash so I won't turn down a
free meal but I'll bring my own wine just for control”
Bitch so why were you pestering me so early in the day?
Me:”Okay babes do tell Anele also”
Her:”Didn't you hear a word I said?BROKE I said I'm
broke how will I call Anele?”
Going once?…going twice?…going three times?…Not sold
to anyone!I get it if I were you I wouldn't want Nonz too.
Me:”Bitch you were blowing up my phone a few minutes
ago and when you couldn't get to me you rang up my
man so I don’t see how a call to Anele could hurt”
Her:”Oh so you WERE ignoring my calls?!”
This would never end I've already lost all my “tired” I
won't be able to go back to sleep after this.
Me:”Not now devil”
Her:”Bye Felicia”she says and hangs up.
I shake my head and turn to Africa.
Me:”Baaaaaabe?”
Him:”I'll be happy to”I frown and he smiles.
Me:”But I hadn't said anything as yet”
Him:”You didn't have to…I'm your other half,I know
you”he said wiggling his brows.
I giggle.
Lies he heard my conversation with Nonz,well either way
as long as he cooks.
Me:”Thank you baby!”I say and jump to hug him then
kiss him on the cheek.
I got out of bed to take a [Link] into my
shower Africa knocks at the door.
Me:”Babe?”
Him:”Honey what foods does Anele eat?”
This man though!!!So considerate.
Me:”I can't remember well but anything [Link]
you for this babe”
Him:”No problem,beautiful”
I don't know what it is but I always cringe when he calls
me beautiful it's like that's not his place like someone
else should/used to call me [Link]'s frustrating.
I finish up in the bathroom and wrap a towel around my
body and make my way back to the bedroom.
I find the bed already made and my clothes laid out for
[Link] man is on a mission to unlock the full potential
of my laziness because I don't ever do anything for
myself when he's around.
I lotion my body and then slip in my beige boob tube
maxi dress with slippers.
I then make my way down to the kitchen.
Me:”Something smells amazing”I say leaning over the
kitchen counter.
Africa turns and kisses me,he looks good in an apron.
Him:”You taste like my toothpaste”
Me:”I forgot to bring mine along,hope you don't mind”I
say this but my face is saying “do you?”
Him:”Not at all,mi toothpaste su toothpaste”
I giggle.
Me:”Su credit card,mi credit card?”
Him:”Uh-huh your father said I should expect that”
I gasp why is he and my dad discussing me?
Me:”You and my Dad talk about me?”
Him:”Yes but it's pretty much him telling me to treat you
good and…”he stopped and chuckled.
Me:”And what?”
Him:”Him being relieved off of funding “your shopping”
duty,apparently that's my duty now”
Guys I have a dad for hire you can have him for as long as
you want!Does he want Africa to run for the hills,why is
he telling him about my big spending tendencies??
Him:”Don’t worry babe it will actually make me happy to
have you spend my money;it's why I work so you can
have whatever you want.”
Me:”You my darling are a unicorn,in a way I'm glad you
ran me over”I say and laugh.
He on the other hand doesn't,this is still a sensitive
subject with him.
Him:”Babe about that I…”I put up my hand to stop him,I
don’t want to hear his apology.
Me:”You're sorry and I've forgiven you”
The doorbell rings.
Me:”That should be our guests”
I go over to the door and find Nonz there with a brown
paper bag together with Anele.
I'm sorry I recognized the paper bag before I could see
Anele it's just that I know Nonz bought wine with and I
am thirsty!!!
Me:”My loves,I'm so glad y'all could make it”
I say and step aside and they get in.
Nonz:”Oh my God what's that smell?”
Me:”We've prepared…”
Nonz:”We??Girl please,I know Africa is the one preparing
[Link] phela wena ngenkath enza ukudla wena
umudla ngendaba”
Yey guys I have no friend here!
We all head to the kitchen.
Africa:”Ladies?”
Anele:”Hi Africa”she says and they hug.
Africa:”How's mommy doing today?”
Anele:”We're fine thanks”
She's almost to complete her first trimester.
Nonz:”Africa!Thanks for accommodating us in your home
at such short notice”she says and throws me a dagger.
Me:”Our home”
She looks at Africa and he looks to me and I give him a
green look and he [Link] claps her hands once.
Nonz:”Don't let Pamella bully you”
Africa:”I like them mean and in control”
That's my man.
Me:”Tell her babe”I say cheekily.
Anele:”Oh boy you have no idea what you're getting
yourself into”
Me:”Not now devil”I say and we all laugh.
Africa tells us to go sit in the lounge while he wraps up
preparing lunch and setting everything up in the
[Link] done he calls us out.
Anele:”This is just pure torture”she says when I hand her
a glass of juice.
While me and Nonz on the other hand are having
wine,we're now wining and lunching.
Nonz:”Blame it on Luvuyo”I pinch her.
Me:”Ai Nonz”
Nonz:”What?”
Anele:”No she's right I just had to be pregnant by him
while he has another child on the [Link] couldn't I
have met a decent guy ye?”she says visibly frustrated.
Me:”Heeey don't worry,you'll find your one decent guy
one day”
“You ladies still good out here?”says Africa all dressed
up.
Me:”Yes babe,thank you”
Him:”Okay I'll be on my way then”
Me:”You're not joining us?”
Him:”No I'll go see my Dad then I'll be back”
Me:”Say hi to him for me”
He nods then comes to place a kiss on my cheek and the
girls clear their [Link] pulls back shyly.
Him:”I love you”
Me:”Hhmm,enjoy”I say and peck his lips.
Him:”Ladies”he says nodding and they raise up their
glasses.
He then walks away.

Anele:”And you've met yours”

Huh?
Anele:Africa”
Me:”Oh him..he's an amazing guy all I've ever looked for
in a guy..he loves me,worships me,he is always quick to
listen and slow to [Link]'d think I'd be content with
that right?”
They both nod.
Me:”But that isn't the case instead there's this void I feel
within me,I can't even bring myself to say I love him back
it doesn't feel right with my soul…I really don't know
what's wrong,I mean…I should be happy with him,hell I
deserve this guy after my last relationship with Sam”
Nonz:”Oh no honey he doesn’t come after Sam,it's
Sam,Anthony and then [Link] deserve a guy like him
after what Anthony put you through”she says all at once
and holds her mouth as to stop herself.
Anele shakes her head.
Me:”Who's Anthony Nonz??”
Nonz:”Oh no honey it's a slip of the tongue I didn't
actually mean to say any of that”she giggles nervously.
Slip of the..she better not start with me.
Me:”Slip of the tongue??Nonz I may have lost my
memory of a month ago but I can still recollect what
happened a few weeks ago,you mentioned the same
name when you came to the [Link] don't play me
for a fool!”I shout.
Anele:”Babe you need to calm down”
Me:”Wena Anele you just don't!Sukwaz ukungiqambela
amanga(you’ve lied to me)What’s wrong with you
guys,you've become so closed off towards [Link]
thing you do is [Link] you think I didn’t see?You
second guess every response,you choose your words
carefully and you hold back!Remember when I asked
about your watch Anele?”

*flash back to a week ago*

Me:”Aibo babes you finally decided to dig deep into your
pockets and buy a Rolex?”I say holding her arm looking
at her wristwatch.
She quickly snatched her arm away.
Her:”No man this is just a regular Tempo watch”
Me:”It's pretty when did you get this or rather who got
you this?”
Her:”Don't be silly you gave this to me on my birthday”
Me:”I got you that?”
Her:”Actually you got it from Ant…yeah you got me
this!”she said looking all over but at me.
Me:”Anele I don't remember buying you a watch”
Her:”Of course you don't silly never mind the fact that
you've lost your memory but also you were pissed drunk
that night soooo…”
Me:”Yeah now that you mention it I can tell that I bought
you this hape I have great taste”we both fake giggle,I
know it.
I can't shake the feeling that she's hiding something from
me.

*present day*
I bang the table,startling them.
Nonz:”Friend you need to calm down really”
Me:”That’s the thing I thought we were friends but
clearly I am [Link] guys are a huge part of me and I
feel like someone else also owns a chunk of me and I
think you all know who it [Link] you will tell me what's
going on and don’t you dare lie”
They both keep quiet.
Me:”It's either you talk or you leave my house”their eyes
pop out.
Me:”No really there's the door, I won't sit with people
who take me lightly and hide things from [Link] know
my condition!You know how hard I've been trying to
remember things.I feel lost and you'd expect my friends
to be there for me but noooo..Talk dammit!”I say and
break down.
In all honesty this is too much for [Link] gets up from
her seat and tries to comfort me.
Me:”Don’t even try to touch me if all you're going to do
is comfort me with lies”she steps back.
Wow.
Me:”Okay I think we're done [Link] leave my
house”
They remain confined in their [Link] just becomes
hysterical.
Me:”Fine if you won't leave then I will”
Nonz:”Pamella don't do this”
Me:”Get your filthy hands off me”I say and pick up the
wine bottle.
I leave them and go straight up to the bedroom and lock
myself there with the bottle.
Why can't I remember?!!!!Ahhhh.
I scream and throw the glass across the room and cry
some more.
Minutes later I heard someone turn the door handle.
Me:”Africa?”
Him:”Babe,it's [Link] up”
I wipe my tears and go open up for him,wanting for him
to hold me in his [Link]'s the only thing that makes
sense in my life.
Me:”Oh…so they called you to play medium?How
pathetic”
Him:”Babe please just hear them out”
Me:”Africa why did you come back?”
Him:”Your friends called me saying you're not well”
Me:”What friends?”
Anele:”Pamella please…”I raise up my hand to shut her
up.
Me:”And they were right;liars make me sick to the
[Link] please see them out”
Him:”My love don't do this”
Me:”Why??Is it because you're also in on their shady
ways otherwise you wouldn’t have come flying when
they called?If that's the case let them stay and I'll leave!”
Him:”I think you guys need to go,I'll call you when she
calms down”I chuckled bitterly.
I shut the door on their face and go back down to sit on
the floor with my bottle.I hear them walk away with
Anele weeping.
After a while Africa comes back up.
Him:”Is it safe to come in?”
I give him a green [Link] looks around the room and
spots the broken glass and he [Link] goes to clean it
up.
Me:”Don’t,I'll do it”he nods.
I'm tired of him taking care of me,I feel like people are
just babying me so as to make me move on and not
question the past,make it look like last month never
happened.
Him:”Babe talk to me what happened here?”
Me:”Not right now babe”
We then sit in silence but as luck would have it Africa just
couldn't keep his mouth shut…
Him:”So my Dad asked to meet you tomorrow”
Me:”Hhmm”
Him:”Yeah he wants to know if you could do church with
him”
Me:”Africa I've had a day from hell so can we discuss this
some other time”
Him:”Church is tomorrow babe what do I tell my Dad?”
Me:”Damnit Africa I've just had a fallout with my
friends!Sure I need Jesus in my life but what I need is for
my friends and the people around me to be honest with
me and stop treating me like I've lost my mind when I
just lost a month's memory”
Him:”I'm sorry I didn't mean to..”
This man talks too much I shut him up with a kiss at first
he didn't respond but I started touching him and dry
humping him,that put him on.
Next thing I know he lifted me up and threw me in bed,I
bounced on it [Link] stilled and was just looking at
me appreciably but I didn't need his adoration right now.I
needed release so I pulled him to me and undid his belt.
He followed my lead and in no time we were naked with
him on top of me.
Him:”Babe are you sure about this?”
Me:”You talk too damn much Mangethe,devour me”
He had this dark look and then he pounced on me.
Him:”Damn you're so tight”
I wore a devilish smirk,to me this wasn't intimacy.I just
wanted release to feel like I had control of something
and I controlled this man.I make him weak in the knees
and worship the ground I walk on.
“Now not only do I own his soul but at this moment I
own his body”I think to myself as I get on top and ride
him for dear life.
We go at it for a while and then he comes before me and
I didn't stop.
What did I tell you?I own this man his body is mine to do
away with.
“Fuck”I curse as I reach my happy ending and then
collapse on his chest.
Him:”Thank you”he says when we've both calmed down.
I smile and get off him to clean myself up in the
bathroom.
Shit we didn't use protection.
Chapter Seven
Sunday I did go to church with Africa’s dad and it wasn't
until I was inside that church that I realized how good
God has been to me,He might have let me get in a car
accident(and save me from real damage) and lose my
memory(which could've turned out worse but thank God
it was just memory loss)but He slid through with an
upgrade and gave me Africa and I decided there and then
to go to church every other Sunday.
Afterwards me,Africa and Africa had Sunday lunch.
Yes Africa’s dad's name is also Africa;he's Africa Zwane
Senior and Africa is his Junior.
I had a wonderful time with these wonderful man,his dad
is such a humble soul with a pure [Link] speaks well of
people and you can see the love between him and his
[Link] not only stepped in when his wife died,he
stepped up and was the best dad to my man.
Overall I was happy but not content,my heart longed for
something else while everything was right in front of me.

It's the second week of November and I'm head in with

my exams.
At the beginning of the month the 3rd of November to be
exact was Nonz’s birthday and the first of her birthday
we didn't spend together in the almost now 8yrs that
we've known one another.I did buy her a gift though well
me and Africa did.
I haven't been to the house ever since that fallout with
Anele and Nonz,they're not my favourite people right
now.
Although we don't speak but we are cordial towards one
another whenever we meet up that is when I come over
to the house to see Kwanda or when we see each other
at the canteen.
Speaking of meeting up right now I'm driving to pick up
Anele,yes you heard me right driving to.I live with Africa
full time now and he gave me one of his cars a white VW
Golf GTI to drive to and from school.
I am still very much involved in her pregnancy I was not
about to punish my God-daughter for her mother's sins.
I'm outside come out
Be out in a sec.
I sit in the car and wait for Anele to come out,we're going
for her sonar and we also want to know the gender of
the baby.
Luvuyo has been to her house to pay damages and also
dropped out of school to look for a job since he'll be
taking care of two new born babies at once.
After more than a sec I see Anele and Nonz approach the
car and I unlock the doors and start the car with the
intention to drive off just as they get in the car.
Nonz has with her the Versace handbag that I bought her
for her birthday.
Anele:”Sorry we kept you waiting”
Me:”It's good”
They both get in the backseat and we drive off in a now
familiar silence and I'm not complaining.
Just then my phone rings and when I answer it
automatically connects to the car's Bluetooth.
“My Queen?”he says with his bass voice.
Me:”My King”
Him:”Are you driving to come see me?”
Me:”I'll come see you a little later my king,want me to
bring you anything?”
Him:”No just bring your pretty self,I don't care for
anything else”
This kid!Yes I'm talking to Nkosi,I bought him a phone so
we can keep in contact when I had completed my task
and had to leave the centre.
I do visit him from time and I have plans to take him in
when I'm financially stable which I suppose will be soon
because once I graduate with my PhD in psychology I'll
go for training then get my practising license and start
getting a cheque!
Me:”Okay King will see you in a few”
I say and he hangs up on me no “I love you” nothing and I
know he did it on purpose because I amuse him when I'm
mad and shout him.
I decide to put on some music and then our favourite
song came on,“our” meaning me and my passengers.I
can't bring myself to say friends.
I fix my eyes on the road and I can feel the itch to sing
along and I know they are also because they keep
clearing their throats one time,me also I'm just humming
in the back of my throat but then I say fuck it when it
gets to the chorus hape this is my jam…
Sing along if you know it's Weak by SWV
I get so weak in the knees,
I can hardly speak,
I lose all control than something takes over me
In the day you look so amazing,
It's not a phase,
I want you to stay with me,by my side
I swallow my pride.
Your love is so sweet,
It knocks me right off of my feeeeeet
Can't explain how your loving makes me weak…
We sing our lungs out,they joined in and all the way to
hospital we sang along to our old school faves from
Missy Eliot to Mary J Blidge back to your Aaliyah and
Jesse Powell and it felt so good.
For the past month I couldn't turn to anyone but the
bottle,sure Africa was there but for physical release.I
needed my girls but as long as they're holding back from
me,things won't go back to normal.
When we got to the hospital we had to step out of our
bubble and do what we came here [Link] went to the
reception and were told to wait as the doctor was still
busy so we took our seats on the benches.
Everyone pulled out their phone and was on it until we
were called in.
Dr:”If it isn't the mother of three”
Me:”Actually it's the child of three mothers”I say and
duck when he tries to smack me.
Dr:”Shut up with your technicality kanti who's the doctor
here?”
Me:”You are;the doctor that we pay for so do what you
get paid for and check on my baby”I hear Anele smile.
This time I don't duck in time because he smacks me in
the forehead bathong Thapelo!He is Anele’s Gaga gynae
yes you guessed it right he's bi.
Dr:”Okay honey get up here and let's check on how your
bambino is doing”he says and pats the bed.
Anele gets in bed and the Dr does his thing applying
some gel on now very much visible Anele’s bump.
He then starts to move some gadget(yey don’t look at me
like that I'm no doctor here Thapelo is,how am I to know
their apparatus?)around her belly and tells us to look at
the [Link] all turned to the monitor and then the
room came alive with a booming heart beat.
Dr:”That's one strong heart beat,this is a giddy
baby”Anele smiles.
Baby what baby I can't see a thing and I'm squinting.
Me:”Ok what are we looking at?”
Dr:”Not so smart now are we,mother?”he smirks and I
roll my eyes.
He showed us the feet and head and all but it didn't
help.I couldn’t make them out still.
Anele:”Can you tell what's the gender or is it still early?”
Dr:”I thought you'd never ask,you're having a baby girl”
Anele:”We're having a daughter”she said all teary.
I like that she said we which goes to prove how much we
mean to one another even though that's questionable
lately.
The doctor prints out a picture for each one of us and
makes a video of baby’s hearbeat,I personally asked for
that because I could see how Anele was happy when she
heard the heart beat and I wanted her to have that.
We finish up and collect her vitamins and set out to
leave.

Me:”Want me to get you anything?”I ask as we are at a

drive thru.
Anele and Nonz give me their orders and I also order for
me and Nkosi after that I drive them back to the house.
Me:”Here we go”I say as I pull up in front of the house.
I don't even turn off the car's engine because I plan on
rushing to Nkosi straight from here.
My passenger's don't move an inch so I look back.
Nonz:”Pam we miss you”
Me:”Nonz don’t,now if you don't mind I have to be
somewhere”
When I say this Anele just starts breaking down and I get
irritated really,I know I may come across as heartless but
guys these are the people who are supposed to have my
back but they are doing otherwise so as long as they're
like this I don't care for them.
I gave them a chance to tell me everything but all I've
been getting are apologies as if them saying sorry a
thousand times will actually make them sorry,so long as
they don't come out with the truth then they're not
sorry.
Me:”Anele please stop that crying it's not good for the
baby”she just keeps sniffing.
Nonz opens her side of the car and comes around to
open for Anele who goes out reluctantly.
I immediately took off as soon as they stepped out and
started crying,sure to them I am mean but inside I'm
screaming for them to help [Link] happened to us?
I feel so alone and empty so instead of driving to the
centre,I go straight home.I know I'll find Africa there he's
working from home.
I never told you but Africa Jnr Zwane is an advocate.
Me:”Babe!”I scream as I make my way inside the house.
I hear him come down the stairs running.
Him:”Babe are you okay?”
Me:”No,but you can make me”I say and reach for his face
but he holds my hand.
What's happening he never says no to me.
Me:”What's wrong?”
Him:”Pamella we can't go on like this,we need to
communicate…not this”
Oh.
Me:”Oh?”
Him:”Don't get me wrong babe,I want you as much as
you want me..”I don't let him finish actually I'm not
hearing what he's saying.
I jump him and block his speech with my tongue and we
kiss for a while then he pulls back.
Him:”Geez Pamella could you just!”he snaps.
I mouth wow he's never snapped or raised his voice with
me.
Me:”I have to go”I say and turn to leave.
He tries to hold my hand to stop me but I give him a
death stare and he lets go.
I decide to go see my king after all.
Him:”You came?”he asked raising his brow.
Me:”Not really”I say and laugh bitterly when I think how I
was dick-prived off some sex by Africa just a few minutes
ago.
Him:”Talk to me”he says brushing my arm.
Me:”I brought some food”I say waving the Steers packet
in his face.
It's to brush him off really I don't want to burden him
with my problems,I want him to be the one telling me his
problems.
I am much wiser when it comes to other people's
dilemmas and a fool when it comes to mine.
Rather than him being brushed off the little guy brushes
my thigh and looks deep into my eyes.
Him:”You can talk to me you know;you told me to never
bottle up my feelings and you being a dumpy you can't
bottle anything up”
I giggle and then there's a loud silence and he is staring
at me once more.
I try to look away but he puts his index finger under my
chin and brings me to look at him then he inched way too
closer to my face.
I should stop this!
I don't say anything rather I clear my throat but it falls on
deaf ears because the next thing Nkosi does;he puts his
lips on mine and nuzzles me with his [Link] don't do
anything we just stay in that position breathing the same
air with our lips touching,I guess the both of us know this
is wrong but are hoping for either of us to be the one to
stop or make the first move and take this further.
I close my eyes and see my subconscious waving a red
flag,I should stop this.
“…My God Pamella don’t you ever scare me like that
again..what the?”
If it isn't the guy who refused me a [Link].
Africa:”Pamella what's going on here?”
Me:”Me;I'm the one going!Why did you follow me?What
are you doing here?”
Him:”You don't answer a question with a question,what
the hell did I just walk in on here?”he shouts,I flinch.
He's grown a pair.
Nkosi:”You don't talk to her like that”he says and stands
in front of me.
Africa:”Boy I'm not talking to you,stay out of this”
Nkosi:”Sure but you're not talking to her like that;she
didn't do anything.I did”
Africa:”Oh now she has you lying for her,why are you
letting her play you like this?Are you that desperate for a
mother figure?”he asks disgusted.
Oh no he didn't!I get out from behind Nkosi and go head
to head with Africa.
Me:”Africa get out,get the fuck [Link] dare you?!You
of all know how it is to be without a mother now you
may have lost yours also and dealt with it but Nkosi
hasn't it's still new to [Link] can you be so
insensitive?”I hiss.
Africa:”So what you let him take refuge in between your
thighs?!”his veins are even popping.
Me:”The hell Africa no!How could you even think…you
know what leave!Right fucking [Link]!”
He doesn't move a muscle while me I'm busy pushing
him.
He doesn't budge so I start hitting him and he pushes me
aside just a little too forcefully and I land on my butt.
I cry hysterically and he tries to touch me.
Him:”Babe,I'm so sor…”he doesn't even get to finish his
sentence Nkosi punches him and he bleeds immediately.
Nkosi:”I told you not to speak to her like that”
Africa:”Fuck,what's it to you if I speak to her like that,boy
that's my woman!!!”he shouts visibly livid.
Nkosi:”It's because I love her!”he roars back.
Yey my crying seized,what?!

The room was dead quite I on one hand was

confused,Africa looked like he had been disrespected
and Nkosi looks glad that he's admitted this to someone
else beside himself.
Nkosi:”Pamella are you okay?Can you get up from the
floor?”he says with his hand out to me,I look at it.
I hadn't realized that I had zoned out.
Africa:”You leave her alone…babe get up let's go
home”he also offers me his hand.
Me:”Both of you shut up!”I snap.
I get up from the floor and look at them.
Me:”I think you should leave,I can find my own way
home”
Africa:”You really want to stay behind with him after
what he said?Or you also feel the same way”
Me:”Mangethe please…”
Africa:”No Pamella don't “please” me in the time that
we've been together you've never told me that you love
[Link] do you think I didn't notice the tight smiles and
you just opting to kiss me whenever I say I love you
instead of saying you love me back!”
Me:”This is not the time nor place for that,Africa please”
Africa:”When will the time be then huh??Why not do it
here??You don't want your little boyfriend's feelings to
get hurt huh?Is that it,you'd rather spare his feelings but
hurt mine everyday?!”he shouts.
I keep quiet because I have nothing to say really not that
I'm protecting Nkosi’s feelings or anything but I've never
really loved Africa come on you know this I've said it a
million times.
I feel like I've already met my “one” it sounds strange I
know but that's how I feel.I really thought I could learn to
love Africa because he treats me well and worships me
but anything forced doesn't last.
I was really out here trying to fill a void.
Me:”Zwane I…”he put up his hand to shut me up.
Africa:”Don't worry I'm leaving,you know where our
home is”he says and leaves the room.
What's wrong with me?I should be chasing after him,this
man is good for me.
I take my bag in an attempt to follow after Africa but
Nkosi holds my arm.
Him:”I know you heard what I said,please say
something”his eyes plead with me.
Me:”Nkosi I don't think you love me,for one you're
younger than me waaay too young and also I think
you've spent so much time with me and are so
comfortable you think it's love.I also take blame for
making you think falling in love with me is okay,I…”he
puts up his hand,shaking his head.
Him:”Please don't be my psychologist for a second and
be a girl,be human for a minute”
Me:”I HAVE to be your psychologist because clearly
YOU'RE not thinking straight”
He tightens his jaw.
Him:”And you have it all figured out right?If you knew
me so well and also know how my mind thinks you'd
know how often I think of you and how I think you're an
amazing,beautiful,intelligent yet so humble
[Link]’d know how I thought my life had ended
when I heard you lost your memory and how I thought I
was lucky and blessed when you said you remember
[Link]…”he takes my hands in his.
Him:”Look at me”he puts his index finger under my chin
making me face him.
Him:”I love you,I always have and I've had to put my
feelings aside for the likes of Anthony and Africa but
seeing that they’re all failing you,I can't just stand back
while I know that I am capable of loving you the way
you're supposed to be”
Anthony?There's that name again!
Me:”You know Anthony too?”
Him:”Well yeah you used to speak of him”
Me:”Why would I speak of him?”
Him:”I-I don't know,I didn't care for all that I just liked
hearing you talking…I can listen to you talk all day”he
smiles nervously.
Me:”And you can also lie to me,my King..”
I look deep into his eyes.
Me:”What are you not telling me?”I fail to suppress the
desperation in my voice.
Him:”I told you all there is to tell my Queen,I love you”he
tries to kiss me.
Me:”I have to go”
Him:”Please don't shut me out”I nod and turn to leave.

I walk out all the way to my car and when I get to it I get
inside and pull a bottle of wine from under my seat and
drink from it straight.
I take a huge gulp and throw my head back letting out a
breath I didn't know I was holding.
I check the time and it's a few minutes to 5pm.I think of
how right now I could be calling Nonz and we'd go out
and have a few drinks regardless of the fact that I'm
writing tomorrow afternoon.
“Fuck it”I say and drive out of the centre going to the
nearest pub.
I get there and order my favourite cocktail Long Island so
if ever you want to take me out you already know what I
drink.
If you've ever had one of these you'd know that it takes
just one glass to get you fucked up,now you can imagine
how I am having had a whole bottle of wine and this
cocktail.
I wave down a waiter.
Me:”Hey handsome can I have my bill please?”
Waiter:”Don't worry sexy,I can overlook the bill if you
could come meet me at the back in say 20mins?”he says
taking his bottom lip in his teeth.
Even as drunk as I am this black mambazo in front of me
doesn't look appealing actually I feel like puking.
Me:”Bring me that bill tuu,I fuck with your superiors not
you”
Waiter:”Bitch”he mumbles.
Me:”Excuse me what?”
Waiter:”I said your bill is coming right up ma’am”
Me:”Thought as much”
Habe nangu uVho-Ugly engijwayela(this ugly looking guy
is working on my nerves)
He actually does bring my bill;I pay and give him a fat tip.
Me:”Not only can I pay my own bill but I can also pay you
for the sex you were offering me”I take my bag and
leave.
I walk to my car and I laugh at myself when I stagger all
the way to it.
Shit I'm so drunk,Africa will be pissed but sex will shut
him up.
I giggle fiddling my car keys.
Finally I open my car and get in and almost drive away
without closing the door.
“Shit”I say when a police car signals for me to pull over.
I slow down and pull over.
I look at myself in the mirror sheesh my eyes are so
fucked up.
I fix my hair and blouse actually I unbutton it a little to
show some cleavage anything to avoid getting a ticket.
With my chest out,I roll down the window when the cop
knocks on it and the big grin that was on my face quickly
turns into a frown when I find a woman standing at my
window.
Well there goes me getting away with drinking and
driving!
Policewoman:”Evening ma’am”
Me:”Yes how can I help you officer?”
Her:”Can I have your license please?”
Me:”Why is there something wrong?”I ask concerned
while handing her my driver's license.
Her:”Pamella Musa,are you aware that you were driving
past the speed limit?”
Me:”No I wasn't”I say sounding so startled.
Her:”Well you were…”
Me:”And you can tell this how?Unless you were also
following me at the same speed”I ask shrugging.
She gasps and I can't help but giggle.I must mention that
I had one too many.
Her:”Ma’am I need for you to step out the car”
Me:”Why?”I ask cheekily.
She shakes her head.
Her:”Step out the car please”
I don't but when she calls for back-up I literally bolt out
of my car.
I try by all means to not fall on my face as I step out and
stand against my car,should've just took off my shoes in
the car.
A policeman makes his way towards us,why didn't he
come to me in the first place?
Him:”Ntabeni you called”he says looking at me like a
piece of meat and I shift uncomfortably.
A smile creeps up on his lips and creeps me [Link] hands
something to his female colleague.
Uh-oh breathalyser!!
Her:”Could you please blow in here ma’am?”this isn't a
question because she puts the breathalyser just inches
from my mouth.
I reluctantly blow into it and it beeps.
She shakes her head,both her and the creepy policeman.
Him:”Let's see what do we have here?”he says brushing
the side of my cheek.I smack him.
Me:”Let me tell you what you don't have and that is a
chance with me!You and your pot belly”
He laughed at me so wickedly my insides turned cold.
Him:”You're a tough one huh well where you're going
there's people more tough and your pretty face wouldn't
last in there but that can be avoided just make me happy
and you're free to go,so what do you say huh beautiful?”
Him calling me beautiful made my insides turn how dare
he?He tried touching me again and I spat on his face
because I was disgusted by him.
He wiped his face and chuckled bitterly.
Him:”Ntabeni lock this bitch up and throw away the
key”he says and walks away.
Her:”Hands behind your back ma’am”
The hell?Is she really sending me to jail because I won't
have sex with her male colleague?
I know that I'm wrong and I broke the law with drinking
and driving but this woman was willing to overlook that
had I slept with that fat policeman.
Ai guys it really be your own sex throwing you to the
wolves.
I didn't resist nothing I just let her do her thing and she
gave me the whole “you have the right to a lawyer and
right to remain silent” speech and then took me away to
the van and threw me inside.
Me:”Wait what will happen to my car?”
Her:”Mzi will follow us behind to the station in it”
What no!I still have the wine bottle in that car.
Me:”I don't trust him with my car can't I ride with him?”
Her:”Ma’am you didn't hear me mention you having a
right to make demands did you?Plus you lost the right to
ride with him when you refused to ride him instead”she
says and starts the car.
Wow isn't she a bitch?

The car does follow behind us all the way to the station
and the policewoman drags me out the car all the way
inside and the fat policeman follows shortly.
Him:”Look what I found?”he asks dangling my empty
wine bottle in the air.
Me:”How do I know that's not yours?It will have your
fingerprints all over it”he isn't wearing any gloves.
Him:”You're a smart one aren't you?”he smirks.
I decide to not say anything more and he and the woman
who brought me in continue filling in some papers and I
get asked for my information and then I am asked to take
off my jewellery which is only just my diamond neck
piece and earrings that Africa bought for me.
Africa?!Shit his car.
They take me away to a holding cell I believe.
Me:”I believe I am entitled to at least one phone call”I
hear the policewoman smile.
God I'm in trouble,I am writing tomorrow afternoon and
also I can't have a criminal record for drinking and driving
while I still have to obtain my practising license.
The alcohol has worn off now and I'm shit scared,what
was I thinking?
Policewoman:”Here you are,Brina I brought you some
[Link] in sweetheart”she says pushing me inside
the cell.
You should see the Brina she's referring to Yehova!
I get inside the cell and walk slowly across it.
“Hi,I'm Sabrina and who are you apart from being
beautiful?”she gives me a sleazy smile.
There goes that word again!Beautiful,it makes me cringe!
Me:”I'm Pamella and apart from not being friendly,I
won't be here for long”I give her a tight smile.
Her:”You sound sure,why?Who will you fuck to get out of
here?”
Me:”Most definitely not you,sir”I look at her up and
down.
Hell will freeze over before I sleep with this washed up
stud,I wonder what she's in here for.
She walks up to me and pushes me against the wall and
starts breathing on my neck,together with her hot
stinking breath and the fact that I had too much to drink
earlier I can't help but throw up on her.
Her:”The fuck bitch”she says and gives me a hot slap.
I return it giving her a back hand slap across her mouth
and she retaliates going for my face again but I block her
in time and hold both her hands.
You could have never prepared me for what happened
next she hit me with her forehead and I saw stars.
I did mention that hell will freeze over before I sleep with
this stud and let alone let her touch me so I pushed her
and she flew into the cell's bars.
She came back charging towards me and I quickly took
off my shoe and striked her on the top of her head.
She screamed and held her head,let's thank Steve
Madden for making heels with a concrete sole.I guess not
taking off my shoes came in handy after all.
The policewoman from before came rushing towards our
cell I guess she heard Brina crying and her face fell when
she realized that I wasn't the one who was crying for help
rather her good friend Brina.
Maybe they play gynae when the lights go off why else
would she be so fond of her unless they finger fuck when
no one's looking.
Her:”You come with me”she says holding the door open
for me.
I put my shoes on and step out making sure to click my
heels harder than necessary against the floor.
She walks behind me and leads me towards the
reception where she shows me the [Link] God.
Her:”You've got 5 minutes make it snappy”she shouts.
Mxm.
I contemplate between calling Dad or Africa I mean both
of them could be of great help right now with Africa
being a lawyer and my Dad being a political personnel.
I decide to ring up Mr Dad.
He picks up after a good 2mins this man though!
Him:”Musa speaking hello?”
Me:”Dad it's me,I don't have much time could you please
come bail me out”
Him:”Excuse me who's me and bail you out;why?”
Ai this man with the 3rd degree it's like I'm speaking to
Africa here.
Me:”Dad you know good and damn well who it is please
stop playing and come get me”
Him:”Pamella what are you doing there?”
Policewoman:”Ausi time is up”she says clapping her
hands in a “hurry up” manner.
Bitch
Me:”Dad I have to go”I hang up not forgetting to tell him
where I am.
I am then taken back to the cell.
Brina:”You again?What happened to “I won't be here
long” huh?”
This is going to be a long night.
I decide to keep quiet and she lays off me seeing that I
don't entertain her.
I throw my head back against the wall and sit with my
legs crossed and fold my arms as it is cold in the cell then
I start to drift to sleep.
As I fall deep into my sleep I feel someone pulling my
leg,she jumps when I open my eyes.
This bitch!!!
This Sabrina hemale(female who's making herself a
male)is trying to mug me while we're in jail and I thought
I'd seen it all.
Me:”Give it back”I say with my hand out.
I want my shoe.
Her:”Make me”she doesn't say!
I take off the other shoe and go for her but she strikes
first and I hit her also.
So now we're fighting with my shoes.
“Pamella Musa!”I hear someone call and I stop to listen.
Sabrina takes this chance to hit me on the head with my
stiletto and we start all over again.
“Hey hey hey what's going on here!”it's a cell guard.
His booming voice startled me but I almost laugh when I
see a skinny guy standing before us,his voice don't match
with his physique.
Him:”Which one of you is Pamella?”
Me:”That would be me”I say and walk towards him.
Him:”Come you're going home”
Aha!My heart does cartwheels.
Brina:”And your shoe?”
Me:”Keep it and use to strike the next bitch in the head
seeing that you can't fight to score yourself some dick
wait no that would be some fingers or a tongue whatever
tickles your clit”I say and throw the other shoe at her and
walk out with the guard.
I hear his voice before I can see him and I no longer walk
but I skip towards him and throw myself in his arms but
he doesn't embrace me.
Me:”Oh Dad thank you”I say and pull back.
Just then Africa comes in running and stops when he sees
me.
Me:”What's he doing here?”
Africa:”In case you forgot you were drinking and driving
in my car”
Oh.
Dad:”Where are your shoes?”
Me:”I used them to pay bail and get out of Muff prison”I
say and shake my head.
Dad looks at me disgusted mxm I couldn't care less at
least he came to get me out.
Dad:”Mangethe I'm sorry for dragging you out of bed at
this ungodly hour and I'm more sorry for having to let
you take my daughter with you just because I as her
father can't stand her right now”he says this like I'm not
even in the room.
Africa nods and Dad leaves.
Africa:”Get your stuff and let's go,some of us have jobs
to go to in the morning”
Is it me or has Africa turned cold?
I get my stuff that I had to take off when I came in and
Africa gives me the keys;tells me to go wait for him in the
car while he sorts something out.
I get inside the car and look at the time,it's 3:46am that
would mean that I spent close to 9hrs in prison.
I don't even want to know how I am out without even
appearing in court and having a bail hearing,I'm just glad
to be out.
Africa comes out after a good 20minutes and drives off
immediately.
Him:”Where should I drop you off?”he says looking at
the road ahead.
Erhh what,don't I live with this man??
Heartbroken I reply…
Me:”You can drop me off back at the house,I'll call Anele
or Nokwanda to open up for me”he just gives me a head
nod.
I pull out my phone from the plastic packet and I dial
Nokwanda and she doesn't pick up.
I dial my last resort which is Anele she picks up after
some time.
Her:”Pamella?”she sounds shocked.
Me:”Uhmm sorry to wake you up,are you awake?”what
am I saying?
Her:”Sure how can I help you?”
Me:”Please open up for me,I need a place to sleep”
Her:”I'll leave the door open for you”
Me:”Thanks”I say and she hangs up.
We continue to drive in silence.
I keep fiddling with my fingers,I want to say I'm sorry but
my pride won't let me.
Me:”Mangethe I..”
Him:”We're here”he cuts me off just when I had plucked
up the courage to apologize.
Me:”Thanks”I say and he unlocks the doors.
Wow.
Him:”You don't have to worry about having a criminal
record all’s dealt with”
It may not show but right now my clit is doing a vosho,if
he lets me I will give it up to him.
Me:”I don't know what to say…”I start getting teary this
man has been so good to me.
Him:”Just get some rest,you'll need it seeing that you're
writing in the afternoon”
Can someone smack me right now why did I have to ruin
what I have with this man by chasing after gone and
forgotten memory?
Me:”Thanks once again”
Him:”Sure”he says and takes off.
I walk to the house feeling numb.
When I get in I find Anele waiting for me.
Her:”Are you okay?”
Me:”Yeah,why are you up this [Link] I wake you up?”
Her:”No,cravings”she says waving peanut butter in her
hands.
She eats it out from the container.
Her:”Come let's get you to bed you look exhausted”
We go to her room and she hands me a pair of pyjamas
and I slip into them and get under the covers.
I take my phone with the intention of setting an alarm to
wake me up at 6:30 mind you the time now is 4:20 but I
need to wake up and study.
I then see a text from Africa that he sent at 21:00 where
he asks where I am.
Mangethe I am so sorry,thanks again for today.
He replies almost immediately.
It's no big deal,see you around.
See me around???Is he kicking me out better yet is he
breaking up with me?
Unbidden tears make their way down my cheeks and I
cry silently just then I hear Anele getting in bed beside
me and she cuddles me from behind.I feel her baby
bump on my back.
Her:”Good night babe,I'm glad you called”
I can't help but break down,God knows how much I miss
her but I don’t say nor do I cry loudly.I just keep crying
silently until I fall asleep.
Chapter 8

“Make it stop would you?!”I say in my head.

I open just one eye and switch my alarm off then I turn
on my side to find Anele staring at me.
Her:”Well that's a first;you actually hearing your alarm
that is,good morning”she says grinning.
Why is she being weird?
Me:”Hey”
Her:”Hi breakfast is ready”
Me:”Anele it's 6am in the morning and you've already
made breakfast so early?”
Her:”Your god daughter wanted something to eat so
here we are”she reaches on the side of the bed and
comes back with a tray of food.
Me:”Thank you but I'm not that hungry unlike you I don't
rise and shine,I just rise;caffeinate and hope for the best
so coffee would do for me”
She mouths oh and quickly jumps off the bed.
Her:”On it!”she shouts when she's half way out the
room.
I sit back and think about what happened last night,my
heart immediately aches when I recall Africa’s words.
“See you around”he said.
Whatever that means!
I deeply care for that man and I know he does too why
else would he have wiped off that offense for me and
don't say it's because he feels bad for running me over
that was ages ago.
He loves me.
“I have to fix things”I think to myself.
“Pamella?”Anele half shouts and frowns.
Her:”Are you okay?”
Me:”Yes”
Her:”No you're not,I've been in the room for more than a
minute but you didn't even see me or hear when I called
you and also you called me in the am’s looking for a place
to [Link] doesn't sound okay to me”
Me:”Now that you're saying it,it really doesn't sound
okay;me running to you for help.I'm sorry it won't
happen again,guess I'm still caught up on us being
friends”
Her:”Don't say that we're still friends and you can come
to me anytime babe”
Me:”Sure when I need for someone to keep secrets from
me you'll be the first I call”
Her:”Oh would you stop it Pamella!I'm seriously getting
sick and tired of you thinking the world owes you your
memory back well we don't ok?!Why are you so hell bent
on chasing the past instead of living and being grateful
for now!Would you rather have lost your life then your
memory?Stop being selfish man we're also trying to
forget that we almost lost you and you want to focus on
why we didn't?”she shouts.
Wow.
Me:”Are you done?”
Her:”Yes;done trying to make you see that all of this
could've turned out a whole lot worse but you don't see
that,you have a family that loves you,friends that care for
you and a man who adores you yet you keep pushing all
that away for what really??”
She might be on to something here but I can't just
overlook the fact that they are lying to [Link] this life you
let one thing slide and people start ice skating,I won't
have them think it's okay to keep things from me all in
the name of “it's better left in the past”.No.
Me:”I'll be in Kwanda’s room should you need to throw
more insults at me”
I leave her room and hear the door close furiously behind
me.
Kwanda:”You're here awfully early we still have a lot of
time left before we write”she says opening the door for
me.
Me:”I just need to nap a little bit,please wake me up at 8
thank you”I walk in and head for the bed.
Her:”O-kay” she says awkwardly behind me.
I really was tired because I fell asleep instantly when my
head hit the pillow and here I was thinking I could sleep
for just an hour,I played myself.
Me:”Is it 8 already?”I ask.
It can't be I had only shut my eyes for a second.
Her:”No Africa is here for you”she says casually like it's
normal for your hostile-not-speaking-to-you-supposed ex
to be “here for you”.
Yet again she doesn't know what's going on between me
and Africa.
Me:”What does he want?”I ask.
I know I said I want to make things right between him
and I but I won't stand him being cold to me.
Her:”He didn't say just said he wants to see you,get up
he's waiting for you”she pulls the covers away.
I get up and walk to the lounge when I get there I find
him sitting with his back to me and he has his hands on
his thighs.
He keeps moving them up and down,I know he does this
when he's anxious or nervous so maybe he's scared of
having to let go of us.
I clear my throat and he jumps off the couch and then
turns to face me and gives me a pressed smile.
Me:”Hi”
Him:”Hi”
We both keep quiet and just stare in the other's eyes,I
can see that he still cares,he reveals to me his soul but I
know he can't reach mine because it's never been with
him to begin with.
Him:”I thought you could use these”
He hands me my study material and stationary together
with my bag.
Again I ask is this man kicking me out?Let me find out.
Me:”Thanks I was starting to wonder how I was to study
seeing that I've been kicked out our house”he shifted
uncomfortably.
Him:”Well there you go then,you can study now.I have to
go,I have a court appearance this morning.I also got you
this”he hands me my overnight bag.
Me:”When should I come get the rest?”
Him:”We'll talk after your paper,good luck”he says and
leaves.
What the hell was that??
I take my things and go to Kwanda’s room bumping into
Anele on the way and she made some sarcastic sound
but I couldn't care less.
Can I really go back to sleep now I mean I am tired but
also restless how am I going to fix things with Africa if he
kicks me out??
Maybe we can still fix things he did say he wants for us to
talk later,I'll take that as an opportunity to apologize yes
that's it.
All of a sudden I was pumped to get up and study so I can
write and get it over with then go over to my man!
I looked into the overnight and he had packed my
toiletries and 2 outfits,I smile to myself this can't be
something someone who wants to break up with me will
do.
There's still hope for us and this time I'll do right by him!

“You're ready?”Kwanda asks.

Me:”As I'll ever be”I say as she closes the door behind
me.
We leave the house around 1pm so as to have much time
to walk to campus and also to recap on our work.
We make it in time and in 10mins we get called in to
write.
About 3 hours later the exam is done and dusted and
since we don't have any study sessions for the day I leave
right after.
“Ah if it isn't the man who as my father can't stand me
right now”I think to myself when I see Mr Dad’s car
parked out front.
I have a good mind of just walking past but he hoots
when he sees me coming.
I walk closer and stand by his side of the window,I hear
the doors unlocking and he signals that I should go
around and get in.
Me:”Hi”I say as I get in,he just nods and drives off.
What's he doing here it's not like I can't find my own way
home.
Dad:”How was the test?”
Me:”It was okay”again he just nods.
Him:”Pamella where did you learn to drink like that
huh,have you seen me so drunk that I land up in
prison?”he asks,his voice hard.
Me:”I wouldn't remember,last time I checked I had lost
my memory and apparently that was not the only thing I
lost,seems to me like I've lost my right to live my life and
be an adult”
Him:”Adult my foot it's funny you should say that
because when you got arrested you ran to your
father,does that sound grown to you?”
Wow who was I supposed to call?Last I check he was my
Dad or is my memory failing me because all the people I
remember to have been on my side and love me are
turning cold and against me.
Me:”Why are you here Dad?”
Him:”To take you home and make sure you stay there
since you want to act like a child,I'll treat you like one.I
don't trust you with yourself do you realize that all of
your studying could have been in vain had it not been for
Africa?You ought to be grateful for that man!”
Me:”I'm sorry okay,I messed up I know but Dad had you
took time to sit down with me and ask how I am you'd
know that I'm grasping at straws here,my friends have
turned against me,you hardly have time for me
anymore”I turn on my seat and face him crying.
I wait for him to say something but he doesn't instead he
turns off the car's engine and says…
Him:”We're here”
What?This isn't home it's Africa's [Link] he seriously
throwing me back to him after I complained that we
hardly spend time together him and I?
Me:”I thought you said you're taking me home?”
Him:”I need for you to accompany me somewhere and
for that you'll need a change of clothes and this is where
you keep them right?”
Why is Dad so salty?
Me:”Oh?”
Him:”I'll come pick you up later say 5pm and we'll go
over to the Gumedes for dinner,how's that for having
time for you?”
Seriously he knows I don't like going over there because
they're always having business talk at the table but hey
beggars can't be choosers because I wanted his time.
I nod and leave.
I make my way into the house damn this house is too far
from the gate I've never had to walk up to the house,I
usually get in by car.
Africa is home I can see his car in the garage so why is
the door locked?I fish for my house keys in my bag and I
find them.
The house is awfully quiet maybe he's tired from work,I
get in and start on the stairs going up to our bedroom
when I hear quick footsteps
“Excuse me how did you get in here?”I hear a female
voice say behind me.
I turn to find this “if it wasn't for my complexion” yellow
bone,come on you know those people whom if it wasn't
for their complexion everything would've just went
left,like they are pretty you just can't look at them too
long because you'll start noticing shit that if it wasn't for
them being yellow bone…you get what I mean yeah
that's what's standing in front of me right now with a
knife in her hand.
She has my apron on!And it doesn't look like there's
anything underneath it.
Me:”Excu…who are you again?”
Her:”I should be asking you that since you got in my
man's house without authority”she says matter-of-fact.
Did Africa break up with me?I didn't get that memo.
Me:”Bitch I am [Link] is Africa?”I ask going
back up the stairs.
She hurries behind me and snatches my arm.
The hell?
Her:”He's sleeping,I'll have to ask you to leave”she hisses
Me:”Girl if you don’t get your hands off me”I shake my
head.
She lets go and I shout for Africa to come downstairs.
Me:”Zwane get down this minute!”I shout,he comes
bolting down.
My man has always been a light sleeper.
Him:”Babe what's wrong?”
I first keep quiet because I'm not sure which babe he's
referring to,me or miss authority here who's blushing like
a fool.
Him:”Pamella talk man why are you shouting like a mad
woman?”
Listen I'm being tried here guys,I'm a mad woman now?
Me:”Who is she and what is she to you?”he shakes his
head smiling.
Him:”Excuse me babe,Pamella this Samantha my cousin
and Sammy this is Pamella”and he leaves it at that.
Why does this Sammy get a title and I don't???Am I
nothing to him?
And he could've fooled me this is no cousin I have a
opportunistic bitch detector and right now it's going off
the radar!
Me:”Cousin really Mangethe you expect me to believe
that?”
Him:”Sammy please excuse us”she nods/bows and
hurries back to the kitchen.
Cousin my forgotten memory nx she's literally walking
around the house naked,you can see her butt cheeks as
she walks and her boobs are all out.
She's a chubby girl with curves and beautiful big black
eyes and big hair if she wasn't a bitch I would've
complimented her hair because I'm a sucker for afros but
we're not here to discuss her profile we won't even look
at her in that manner because we don't like her
understood!
Africa stretches his hand out to me and we walk up to
the bedroom.
Me:”Cousin you say so tell me how is she related to
you?”
Him:”Her mom and my mom were long time friends and
she grew up in our family,that practically makes her
family”
Me:”This mix masala that you're telling me is making my
head spin,she's not related to you just a family friend so
what's she doing here?”
Him:”She's been having a hard time finding a job and so
her mom spoke to me and I've hired her to help around
the house”
Me:”Seems to me she's only looking to help herself with
you here and why didn't we discuss this,I've never
wanted help around the house?”
Him:”At what point between the drinking,studying,sexing
and going to prison do I get the time to discuss such with
you?”
Me:”Oh don’t throw me going to prison in my face,I was
only there for a day and you couldn't have just decided at
that moment to bring her in actually when did she get
here?”
Him:”Last night”
Me:”Oh so that's why you went to drop me off back at
the house because you were housing your supposed
“cousin” huh,how stupid do you think I am?”
Him:”Pamella I'm not gonna do this with you,I'm tired
from work and I don't want to discuss last night as it
doesn't sit with me well”
Me:”Fine I'm also not going to do this with you,my father
is picking me up in a few and when I come back I better
not find your little girlfriend downstairs”
Him:”Damnit Pamella why are you so insecure?”
Me:”Oh now I'm insecure while it's you that has a girl
walking around half naked in MY apron in our house!”
Him:”That girl is way too young for me and to top it all
off she's family”
Me:”She's young and you're naïve,you're not blood
related she knows it and she is working it to her own
good”
Him:”Doing this with you is pointless,what part of I love
you don't you get?”
Me:”The part where you let another woman disrespect
me in our house”he just shook his head and sighed in
defeat.
Him:”I'm sure your Dad will like to find you ready when
he comes here”
Me:”And I'd like to find Ms Authority gone when I come
back here”I say and leave to take a shower.
I am done in a matter of seconds I don't trust that girl
with Africa he's just too damn good to see that the bitch
has an agenda.
I don't find Africa in the bedroom when I get out so I
quickly lotion and slip into my bare back and below the
knee black velvet dress with matching black heels.I have
my hair in a bun and put on some mascara and lipstick.
I then put on my diamond neck piece with matching
earrings and take my clutch with.
I hear bustling laughter below me as I walk the top of the
stairs and then I see them sitting on the high chairs
sharing a plate.
They don't even hear me walk in the room,I clear my
throat looking at the girl's hand on Africa's lap.
She quickly removes it and jumps out her seat.
Her:”Would you like something to eat sis?”
Me:”No I'm going out for a few hours”it might be my
imagination but I think I saw her clit doing jumping jacks
when I said this.
I say and take out a glass and pour myself some wine.
Africa:”That was quick,where did you say you're going
again?”
Me:”The Gumedes”
Him:”That explains why you're in such a hurry to get
there”
I should write a book titled Reasons Why I Drink or When
Is It Okay To Turn To The Bottle.
Africa has this absurd assumption that the Gumede
guy(fine male specimen to you) whom I now know is
Anthony has a thing for me,I don't believe him because in
the times that I've been over to the Gumede’s the guy
has been salty towards me.
We hear the intercom ring and Dad is on the other
end,Africa lets him in and I quickly put away the bottle.
Dad:”Ready to go?”
Me:”I'm ecstatic”I say and roll my eyes in my head.
The cousin girl greets my Dad politely even calls him sir
which is why I drink it's because I'm not emotionally
equipped to deal with fake bitches like her,I need liquor
stamina.
I groan and Dad gets that we have to leave,Africa walks
us out .
Dad:”Don't worry Mangethe I'll bring her back in
time”they laugh.
I get it,it's supposed to be Dad telling Africa to not bring
me back late.
Africa:”Travely safely Dad”
We walk to Dad's car and I look back as the car peels
away from the driveway and I'm uneasy about leaving
Africa and the thank God I'm yellow bone cousin.
I'll see to it that Dad brings me back home early.

We are welcomed by Mrs Gumede at the door when we

arrive.
Her:”Hendry…Makoti,come in”she says and hugs both of
us.
I've given in on being her makoti although I'd never
marry her arrogant son.
We get inside and she leads us to the dining area.
Me:”Sawbona Bab’Gumede”I say and he takes the back
of my hand and kisses it.
I blush,him and his wife are such sweet people,we hear
someone clear their throat and I turn to find fine and
salty male specimen looking at my hand in his father's
and I quickly snatch it away politely though.
God this man is beautiful have I ever mentioned to you
that he has dimples,thick black brows and dark brown
eyes with sweet lightly pink lips don’t ask me how I came
to the conclusion that they're sweet.
He has his hands in the pocket of his pants and is just
standing in the middle of the room like he owns it.
Him:”I didn't realize you had guests,I should be on my
way”
Mrs Gumede:”Don't be rude sit down and eat,even
makoti is here”
His mother pulls out a chair for him next to me,he takes
his seat beside me and ahhhh his scent!!It's mesmerizing.
Once we've all taken our seats,Petunia the house help
comes in and lays the food in front of us.
She also brings out a chilled bottle of wine and a jug of
juice.
She goes around the table and pours the wine for Mrs
Gumede and also comes to pour for me,I even raise my
glass and then…
Dad:”No,she'll have juice”he says waving his hand.
I groan at the back of my throat and I could swear I heard
the fine demon beside me laugh.
Petunia bows and moves to bring me juice.
Mrs Gumede says grace and we all dig in 25mins into the
dinner they start talking business and I realize just why I
drink it is so that I can endure these boring business
talks.
Damn you Dad!
When I look beside me,the guy also looks bored out of
his mind and I almost laugh at him but decide against it ,I
don't want him thinking we're friends.
Petunia walks in to collect our dishes and I offer to help.
Me:”You can leave those Mah,I've got them thanks for
dinner”
Mrs Gumede:”Careful makoti Petunia might just want
you for her son”she says and giggles.
Petunia smiles and thanks me before walking out.
I get up and take the dishes with me.
Mrs Gumede:”Anthony what's wrong with you get up
and help makoti takes these to the kitchen”she gives him
a bored look.
Me:”No Mah I've got this”
Her:”You see this is why I think you'd make a wonderful
wife for this family”
I nod and walk out.
Anthony:”You know what let me help you with those”he
says and pushes back his seat and walks behind me.
I could just load the dishes in the dishwasher but I want
to kill time so I'll do them by hand shame.
I open the taps and take off my shoes but first…
I take out a glass and search the cupboards and fridge for
the wine that Petunia had with her.
Him:”You're not going to find anything there”
I look back and find him standing at the entrance of the
kitchen,I nod and then move to the sink and turn off the
water and start washing the dishes.
I feel him move towards me and I hold my breath and
hope that he doesn't come anywhere near me but as luck
would have it he comes to stand behind me.
He reaches for the sponge and then says into my neck
Him:“Want me to help you with these?”
I nod my head frequently because I don't trust my voice.
He dips his hand into the water and jumps taking it out.
I stifle a laugh.
Him:”Damn woman you're always trying to boil me!”
Me:”What?”I ask confused but I'm giggling also.
Him:”Why is this water so hot you're washing dishes not
picking chicken feathers”he whines.
I have tears in my eyes from all the laughing you should
see how red his face is now.
Me:”Let me see”
I take his hand and some weird electric current runs
through the point of contact,I am taken back this feels
awfully familiar.
Me:”Did you hear that?”I ask rather out loud.
Him:”Hear what?”he says too quickly.
Like he was waiting for me to ask.I shake my head.
Me:”Nothing,come”I lead him towards the sink and I
open water onto his hand.
He [Link] this man is a baby.
With his hand in mine,he shifts in a way that he is
standing behind me he then nuzzles my neck with his
nose,tingling sensations make their way down my spine.
Bitch I even throw my head back to give him full access of
my neck and hold his hand tighter.
I should stop this I have a boyfriend and both our parents
are in the next room yet it feels so damn good.
He lets go of my hand and turns off the water and then
he runs his wet hand up and down my bare back,I
involuntarily arch my back while he trails soft kisses on
my neck.
Why am I allowing this?
Him:”You look good today”he says and the vibrations of
his lips against my skin make me lose all sense.
I don't even stop to think of what he said but my
subconscious is screaming “Viva!” for why I don't know.
I used to think that this guy hates me and now he tells
me I “look good today” wait does this mean he checks
me out every other day that I come over?
I don't know and I don't even care!
Mrs Gumede:”Makoti are you done your father thinks
you should get going”
Dad:”Pamella,Gumede what's going on here?!”he barks.
Shucks!
We still for a second and then I turn to find his mom and
my dad in the kitchen.
Dad is giving me a “I'm waiting” look and Mrs Gumede is
grinning...my this is confusing.
I look to Anthony beside me to say something but he
doesn't rather he just puts his hands in his pockets.
I clear my throat to speak.
Me:”Nothing is going on here Dad you just walked in on
me and Anthony doing the dishes to which he burnt his
hand so I was cooling it AND like you said we should be
on our way”I say all at once and dry my hands with the
dish cloth.
I start out of the kitchen with everyone following me it's
a miracle that my legs haven't failed me really.
Me:”Mrs Gumede thanks for the lovely dinner”I say and
pull her in for a hug to which she returns and whispers in
my ear.
Her:”You've always been my makoti” and gives me a
sheepish smile when we pull back.
Me:”Bab’Gumede thank you for hosting us”he just nods.
Then I move to Anthony I don't know whether to hug him
or shake his hand or kiss him.
He stretches out his hand and hands me my purse.
Me:”Thank you”he nods.
Him:”Until next time Ms Musa”he says and secretly
winks at me.
I instantly flush as my mind revisits what happened in the
kitchen just a hot minute ago.
I shake his hand and walk out the house ahead of Dad,if
we're going to argue I don't want for it to be in front of
the Gumedes hence why I'm rushing to leave.
Him:”Get in”he says through gritted teeth as he unlocks
the doors and turns to wave back at our hosts before
slamming the door on my side then he goes over to his
side and gets in.
I strap myself in,I don't trust Mr Dad with my life here
seeing how infuriated he is.
He hoots and then we drive out of the Gumedes home.
We sit in an awfully loud silence but it doesn't last long…
Him:”I see not only did you lose your memory your
morals also are out the window”he says through gritted
teeth.
For a moment I wanted to laugh why is my Dad like this?
Me:”Seems that way;I also lost my father and got this
dictator who wants to rule my life”he scoffs.
Him:”Don't you have any respect for me those people
are like family never mind Mzwakhe being my business
associate because you have no disregard for that”
Heck no I refuse to be related to Anthony in any manner
the only link we have is our fathers’ being business
associates you know what scratch that I don't even want
to think of him in that way.
All of this “related” bull takes me back to the two
“cousins” that I left back at home.
I don't respond to Dad and I can feel his stare of
disapproval piercing me which is why I drink fam,it's so
that I can deal with a father who wants to control me at
age 23 nagana(imagine)?!
In no time we arrive back at Africa’s house I did mention
that Mr Dad is infuriated so he stepped on it much to my
delight.
Him:”Send my love to Mangethe tell him I have an early
day tomorrow”he is saying this to spite me I know.
Me:”Roger that,thanks for the ride and invite to
dinner”he tenses at the mention of dinner.
Haha I did that to spite him,two can play the game.
I jump off the car and he drives off just as quick.
I start towards the house and realize that all the lights
are out,[Link] knows to not turn off all the lights
because I'm afraid of the dark don't look at me like that.
I know I've just bragged about being a whole 23yr old but
hey we all have a silly phobia and this is mine,I wouldn't
be caught dead walking into a dark house who knows I
might just wind up dead.
All of a sudden I wish that Dad had walked in with me to
check on Africa or something we all know about him and
his Mangethe.
I take my phone out my purse and then put on the flash
and ready myself to go in.
I tightly grab hold of the door handle and slowly turn it
such that it doesn't make a noise,I don't know if this is to
not startle the killer waiting in the dark or it's me wanting
the cousins to not hear me walking in on them while they
get on with some dirty.
Paranoia!
I walk in and dare not close the door behind me and then
use my free hand to turn on the lights.
I quickly scan my surroundings and silently shut the door
locking it and walk further into the lounge and I am met
by scatters of wine bottles in the living [Link] wine
bottles!
I know good and damn well Africa and his cousin did not
just have my wine and 2 whole bottles of it,it doesn't
matter that he's the one who bought it.
I take off my shoes and proceed to the kitchen and head
straight for the wine stand.
I think bribing myself with wine to calm down is either
alcoholism or adulthood,probably both.
I take one quick gulp that was for the time Dad denied
me a glass back at the Gumedes and I pour another one
for the cousins and one more for myself I deserve to
drink I've been through a lot in the past month even
when I don't remember.
I even raise the glass up as I toast to myself and giggle
when I can't hold the glass in place without seeing
double.
I see this is a sign that I've had enough so you see I'm not
an alcoholic,alcoholics don't know when to stop.
I leave my shoes on the kitchen counter but take my
purse with and go up to the bedroom to which I fall
asleep instantly.
Chapter 9

I feel pressed so I get out of bed but stop on my tracks

when I realize that Africa is still very much fast asleep
beside me.
I'm never up before him EVER!Ya neh whatever he was
doing last night wore him out.
“OORRRR whomever he was doing wore him out!”my
subconscious speculates.
For a second I had a good mind of just letting him sleep
and miss work because never mind him drinking MY
wine,he was calling me out on “drinking and driving” the
other day and now he here is knocked out and I have no
idea if it's just from drinking or the reunion with his
“cousin”.
Me:”Africa”I say shaking him a little roughly.
He just moans and turns to the other side so I resort to
just pulling back the covers;violently.
Him:”Jeez Pamella was that necessary?”he half shouts.
He puts his head on his hands sitting up against the bed.
Me:”I remember you saying something along the lines
“some of us have work”what changed?”I asked folding
my arms up to my chest.
That seemed to shake him out of his stupor because next
thing you know he reached for his watch on the bedside
and jumped out of bed when he saw the time.
Him:”Jesus Pamella why didn't you wake me up?”he
hisses.
I don't say anything rather I follow him to the bathroom
remember I was up because I needed to go so yeah.
I do my business while he's busy in the shower and rinse
my mouth and face before returning to the bedroom.
Just as I am about settle down back into bed the door
swings open and Sembi(it's Sammy to you)walks in
without knocking.
She is in very short pj bottoms and a tight fitting top and
is carrying a tray of food [Link] she turns to see me
in bed she immediately frowns.
Her:”Oh you're here?”she asks rather out loud looking at
her facial expressions.
Yes I'm here hape I'm not a fly by night
Me:”Sammy!what do we have here?”I say and take the
tray from her much to her annoyance.
I sit back in bed and start eating,I hope she didn't put any
love potion here because I'd hate to be chasing after her.
Her:”Where's Africa?”she asks through clenched teeth.
Me:”Oh no baby girl you are not to be asking me about
my man for one you didn't knock when you came in here
and now you're standing in our bedroom with all your
washed up parts exposed”she gasps but quickly gathers
herself.
Her:”Your man?Seems he forgot about that all of last
night see he couldn't take his eyes off these washed up
par…”
Africa walks in before she can continue or is it before I
could smack her chubby face?Right now I am fuming my
toes are red!But I won't let her see me sweat.
How can Africa disrespect our home like that?!
Me:”Hey baby how are you feeling now,how's the
hangover?”I ask when I walk up to him and kiss him.
He seems confused by my sudden affection hape the
past few days we'd been fighting back and forth.
He returns the kiss and then acknowledges Sembi in the
room.
Him:”Good morning Sammy”
Her:”Sawbona Bhuti”she nods/bows.
Me:”Sammy here tells me you had quite a night last night
getting reacquainted”I say as I help him dry his back with
the towel he had round his neck.
I feel him tense under my hands.
Ah-ha so something did happen last night!
Him:”I think that just about does it,thanks baby I need to
get dressed”
Sammy also turns to leave.
Her:”Excuse me also I need to get on with the house
chores”
Me:”Oh darling regarding that before you go please tell
me what's your dress size”
Her:”Oh for what if I may ask?”
Me:”Your uniform”
Her:”Bhut’Africa didn't say anything about having to
wear a uniform”she asks wiggling her brow at Africa.
I also turn to look at Africa with my arms folded.
Him:”Yeah babe I don't think there's a need for
that”Sammy nods.
Her:”There really isn't a need seeing that I'm not a maid
just the house help”
Me:”House help/maid po-tay-to/po-ta-to same thing plus
Africa has no say in this matter seeing that he's only the
man of the house and me having been the “house help”
before you came along I should know best”I look to
Africa and he nods.
Good man.
I swear to God I heard Sembi groan she doesn't know me
I'll make her wear a uniform so long it will come up by
her pinky toe;she won't need to sweep around the house
because it will be collecting dust as she moves about and
I plan to make her move about all right!
She excuses herself and leaves the room which is long
overdue this girl has no respect for me she was standing
in the room with her barely there pyjamas.
I finish up the toast and coffee whilst Africa is getting
dressed and then head downstairs to make him
breakfast.
He comes down after a few minutes in his grey tailored
suit with a white shirt and faded/light pink tie,he has his
briefcase and coat on one hand.
Him:”Something smells good”
Me:”Come sit my love,I've made breakfast”
Him:”Mhmm I can't sit babe I'm late for work”
Me:”You're never late you must have had quite the
night”
I swear to God I saw him flinch now I'm more determined
to find out what really happened last night.
He gives me a tight smile and takes a slice of toast.
Me:”I've packed you a lunchbox”
Him:”Ahh babe you're the best”
I give him my cheek to kiss and Sembi throws me
daggers,I beam.
Him:”Thanks babe,I've got to rush”he starts to leave.
Me:”Erhmm babe?”
Him:”MaMusa?”
Me:”Later on I'm going to meet up with Noma so I'll need
the car”he smiles and shakes his head lightly.
Him:”The keys are in our bedroom”
Sembi is literally cringing.
I walk to him and put my arms around his neck and kiss
him.
Me:”Thank you my love”
Him:”Won't you also need this?”
Me:”What I thought you said you're late…”
I don't even continue I can't not when he as his black
card out to me.
Me:”Babe?”I say failing to mask the speculation in my
voice.
Him:”Use it wisely”he says wiggling his brows .
Me:”Again thanks my love”
Him:”Sure enjoy your day ladies”
Me:”Have a lovely day also”I give him a peck on the lips.
Our lips stay touching for a fraction of a second too long
with neither of us wanting to pull back.
Starting out this whole affectionate thing was to mark my
territory with Sembi around but now that I'm doing it
and Africa is reciprocating I actually like being like this
with him.
Uh-oh I think I'm falling for him.
Me:”Bye my love”I say when I pull back.
He looks at me intently and then turns to leave for real
this time.
Halfway out the house he turns and looks from me to
Sembi and then says.
“You two play nice”
Me:”I will”I say in a sing song way.
Now with Africa gone and the house help I can either go
back to bed or prepare for brunch with Noma which is
long overdue by the way ever since I came back from
hospital we've only sat down once and that was at dinner
over at dad's.
I have a sharp eye so when they land on the kitchen
counter I quickly realize that my shoes aren't there
anymore.
Me:”House help can you HELP me locate my shoes
please?”
Her:”They're your shoes so why you're asking me for
them?”
Me:”Easy tiger you don't want me telling “Bhut’Africa”
that you're being rude to the mrs?”she scoffs.
Me:”Thought as much”I say and walk back up to the
bedroom.
I decide to just take a shower seeing that I don't need to
make the bed because Africa beat me to it.
I take one of my favourite stinging showers and get out
eons later with wrinkly toes and hands,I feel refreshed
and rejuvenated though.
I take my time with everything that I do even with
lotioning and picking out an outfit.
I opt for my white 3 quarter ripped jeans and pair with
my baby blue shirt and nude pointed heels but I won't
put them on now since I'll still be around the house for
the next hour.
I decide to go downstairs for another cup of coffee and I
get an unpleasant surprise.
I see Sembi serving tea to Africa’s dad I wasn't aware that
he'll be stopping by see now I'm not dressed properly.
Me:”Bab’Zwane”I say as I walk up to him and he gets up
from his seat.
Him:”Makoti”he says as he hugs me.
You know this thing of being called makoti by Mrs
Gumede and Mr Zwane doesn't sit with me well,my
ancestors must be confused and I don't like [Link] I don't
want God to think I'm sorted.
I'm not planning on marrying neither of these people's
sons.
Me:”What a pleasant surprise,I didn’t know you were
coming today”I say as we sit back down.
Sembi:”I knew he had said he'll stop by to check how I've
settled in”she says proud that she knows.
Who asked her?
Me:”Well Baba I see you've met our house help”I say
with a smug on my face.
I nod in her direction and turn to Africa's dad who sips his
tea oblivious of what's going on between me and Sembi.
Him:”Yes I've come to check on little Sammy,hope you
don't mind makoti”
Me:”Not at all baba LITTLE Sammy is proving to be a
great help see she's also served you tea,thanks Sammy
that would be all”I say dismissing her with my hand.
She looks to Africa's father and he nods for her to excuse
us she also nods in agreement.
Me:”About Sammy baba don't you think she'd be of
more help back at your house than here,I mean I already
take care of everything around the house”I say once
she's out of sight.
Him:”She's fine here,I like my space to [Link] she
being troublesome?”
Ohh so she must be in our space?What's this old man
saying?
Me:”Not necessarily”
Him:”Then she's fine here,really makoti I don't see a
problem in that”
He doesn’t see anything wrong in this??Him and Africa
are flat out disrespecting me by bringing another woman
into my home to take care of my home like that's an
insult to my [Link] I can't keep a home?
Me:”No disrespect baba but she has no place here,I don’t
want to be uncomfortable in my home”
Him:”Well I didn't see it that way but it's only until she
can get on her feet again this wasn't really to make you
feel uncomfortable in your home.I'll talk to Africa he
didn't mention that this would be an issue with you”
Me:”It's okay he's been busy and I've also been busy with
school work that we hardly have time to sit down and
talk”
My phone rings and it's Noma.
Me:”Excuse me,I have to take this”he nods.
Me:”Yes babe…uh-huh…I'll get out the house in five so
say I'll be there in 45 max…okay…yes..it's on me this
time…I love you too…see you”
Him:”Are you going somewhere?”
Me:”Yes I have to be somewhere but I can stay a little
longer”
Him:”It's okay makoti I was on my way also”
Me:”Okay baba I'll see you in church then”we hug once
more.
I quickly rush upstairs to put on my shoes take my bag
and the car keys before dashing out.
I find Bab’Zwane still downstairs so I say good bye to him
then leave.
“Convict”Noma says with her arms out to me when I
walk to our table.
Me:”Yes bitch I'm a-kon”we laugh and share a hug.
Her:”I've missed you,you look good and I see car keys
also,seems a lot is happening in your life right now,pray
tell”
Me:”Girl”I say and wave down a waiter.
I'll need a drink if we're doing this.
We spend the whole of lunch time together and even
end up shopping with Africa's money,I was made to buy
him something just to ease the guilt of spending so much
of his money.
Now it's back home and as I'm driving in I don't see
Africa's car maybe he's working late.
Me:”You're still here?”I ask as I bump into Sembi around
the house.
Her:”Yup you're not getting rid of me that easily”she says
matter-of-fact.
Me:”You sound sure”
Her:”I am sure Africa is more than happy to have me
around and I have no plans of leaving”
Me:”Baby girl that's your cousin have some self respect”I
say disgusted really.
Her:”He's no cousin to me what he is,is the love of my
[Link] was my first”
Me:”What?”
“Sammy?!!!!”
When did he come in???
Her:”Bhut’Africa?”she says looking and sounding
frightful.
Am I missing something here?Africa walks in more
towards us with his eyes fixed on me.
Him:”Sammy would you excuse us please?”he says with
more of a commanding voice then that of a person
asking.
She nods and attempts to leave but I'm not having
[Link] must tell me what “first” Africa is to her.
Me:”SEMBI NO!YOU STAY RIGHT HERE AND TELL ME
WHAT YOU MEANT!I hiss almost snatching her arm to
hold her in place.
“Sembi?”they both exclaim.
Uh-oh I had gotten so used to calling her that in my head
that I forgot to fix the name up for when I have to
address her out loud in public but let's not shift the focus
here!
Her:”I didn't mean to say anything”she looks to Africa
and his eyes bore into hers and I swear I saw her shiver.
Me:”Oh see but you did when HE wasn't here and all of a
sudden now that he's here you've become a house
[Link] sweetie is that it;are you scared of him?If
that's the case we can step into the next room and talk
just the two of us”
Him:”No Pamella you will do no such thing at least not
after I've heard just how much of a liar that child is”he
spat the words out and I saw Sembi turn pink.
Her:”I can take being called a liar but a child?No I don’t
think so!And you didn't seem to think so too all of last
night when I was under you and it most definitely wasn’t
a factor when YOU TOOK MY VIRGINITY?”she spat back
with so much rage and venom.
Well well there it is so that's what she meant by him
being her first…but wait she was under who now?
Me:”Back up what did he do last night?!”I say not
directing the question to Sembi but to this filthy
specimen I call my man.
Him:”You heard her say she takes being a liar plus honey
it's not what you think.”
Well I'll be damned!
Me:”So what I lost my memory and lost my ability to
think also is that?And news flash I’m the psychologist so I
do the thinking around here and YOU! You’re trying to be
an advocate with this whole thing and lie…to me??!”I am
breathing fire!
Him:”Pam…”I put up my hand to stop him.
Me:”If whatever is to fall out that mouth next is lies you
must have a death wish.”I say and the room falls silent.
Mind you this whole confrontation is happening in the
hallway.
Me:”Sembi what happened here last night?”no I will not
use her rightful name,I'm too mad.
Him:”A mistake happened..”he says quickly.
Her:”Repeatedly”she says under her breath but I caught
it.
Me:”Repeatedly?”
What does she mean did they have more than just one
round?I've never known Africa to do omnibus like one
round is enough with him he doesn't reset and repeat.
Her:”Yes we didn't have sex JUST yesterday in your bed
we had it the first night I got here,it runs back to when I
was 17 when he made me a woman”she says matter-of-
fact much to Africa’s disgust.
Something about her saying “in your bed”made my nose
[Link] Africa has called her out on being a liar so I
should ask.
Me:”Mangethe is this true?”I ask through my teeth.
Him:”Babe I'm sorry…”he starts.
Again I put my hand up to shut him up that's all I needed.
Me:”IN OUR BED??THAT'S HOW MUCH LITTLE RESPECT
YOU HAVE FOR ME??SO LITTLE THAT YOU'D HAVE SEX
WITH YOUR COUSIN IN OUR BED??!SO THAT “SHE'S
YOUNG AND FAMILY” BULLSHIT WAS JUST TO PUT
STUPID ME OFF?!”I ask walking towards him and he
keeps walking back.
Him:”You have this all wrong babe I do respect you and
this thing with her was just a moment of weakness”
Me:”A FUCKING HANDFUL OF MOMENTS BECAUSE
FROM WHAT I HEAR THIS ISN'T NEW!”
Him:”Okay you're right on that but it was all meaningless
moments,just [Link]'re the one I love”
There it is the infamous “it was just sex”line which is all
but [Link] roles were reversed and I slept with a guy
while still with Africa I would've been called a hoe but
when he does the same it's “just sex”
Me:”Don't give me that love [Link] would you like
to know what I think?I think you're a sorry piece of shit
and a hypocrite.A whole advocate taking the virginity of
his 17 year old cousin!”
Him:”I didn't take anything from her she was all but
willing to give it up”he has walks further back.
I don't know why he's running away I don't even have a
weapon on me.
Me:”Oh so that would make it right?”
I charge at him and he misses a step and falls backwards
on the stairs all the way down.I almost jump to catch him
but Sembi beats me to it.
I now get why she was having entitlement issues and for
all I care she can have her “cousin”
Him:”Ahhh”he groans when he gets to the bottom.
Me:”You get down and stay down”I click my tongue and
walk away to the bedroom.
“You get your filthy hands off me”I hear him say behind
me.
I get to the room and lock it behind me.I go straight to
the closet and take out my travelling bag and take my
clothes [Link] isn't long just after I started packing my
clothes when I hear the doorknob turn furiously.
Him:”Pamella why is this door locked?”he barks.
I dare not say anything back I just continue with the task
at hand and I make sure to take everything I [Link]
the walk in closet upside down I draw out another
suitcase and throw all of my shoes in there but
something stops me in my tracks…
I think I might have heard a thud coming from outside
the door but I dismiss it when I think it might be the
sounding of my shoes as I'm violently putting them away.
Just after that I hear a shrinking scream and shouting and
can't help but run to the door to see.
“Are you happy now huh?!!!”
The hell?
Me:”Africa you get the hell away from her!”I push him
off.
Ng’phuma ubhuti ubambe ingane ngamawashing(I
walked out to find him grabbing on Sembi and had her
against the wall)
As soon as I got him off her she slid down the wall and
sat flat on the floor breathing raggedly with her hand on
her chest.
Me:”What the hell is wrong with you?”
Him:”It's all this bitch’s fault that you and I are fighting”
Me:”She is a “child” in fact she should arrest you for
manhandling [Link]'t put this on her!You're the reason
why we're [Link] and your instant dick!”he gives
me a green look.
Uh-oh seems I might have hit a nerve here.I see him
clench his jaw and ball up his fists.
Me:”Oh I dare you to do it Africa.I want to see you do
it!”I say and fold my arms.
No man has ever lay his hands on me not even my own
father and that isn't about to begin with a sorry ass man
like Africa.
Him:”Calm down baby let's talk about this;please.”he
says pleadingly.
Me:”I have nothing to say to you”I say and walk back to
the room and finish up my packing.
This time I don't care to lock up because I'm just about
done and so he walks in behind me.
Him:”Pamella what's the meaning of this?”
Me:”I'm done with you that's what”I zip up the last
suitcase.
In total there's 2 suitcases and an overnight bag with all
my sleepwear and toiletries and I'm good to go.
Him:”No babe don't do this to me”he says blocking my
way.
Me:”This is exactly why I'm leaving you can't take
responsibility for shit.I didn't do this to you;you [Link]'s all
on you”
He stills.
Me:”Move the hell over Africa”
Him:”Where would you go?”
I chuckled he must think he's the centre of my universe.
Me:”Angiqhumanga etsheni(I didn't pop out from a
rock)I have a home that's where I'll [Link] sure won't be
pleased to hear about this Mangethe”I drag the last part.
Y'all know how Dad is with his Mangethe.
Him:”Please don't tell him about this at least not until
we've sorted things out”
Me:”Africa get out my face”he falls to his knees and
starts begging.
Good this gives me a chance to push him aside and walk
out.
Him:”Well how are you going to get there?”
Me:”What do you mean how?”
Him:”I mean with what?You can't take my car with,you
can only leave with what's yours only”
If only he knew I have the car keys in my handbag.
Me:”Watch me”I say.
I walk towards the door and first press for the gate to
open I don't want to come back into this filthy house.
I get to the car and don't even open the boot to load my
bags I just put them in the backseat and get in front and
start the car.
As soon as the engine starts Africa bolts from out the
house followed by Sembi and stands at the door looking
at [Link] good to go I turn back and find that the
gate's been closed.
Me:”Africa open the damn gate!”I yell.
He just stands there with a smug o his face he must think
I'm playing.
I step on the accelerator revving the car and someway
somehow my foot slips I lose control and the car reverses
all the way down the driveway and right into the gate.
I silently thank God it's not made out of steel but just
some strong ass wood/planks or whatever.
I bump my head into the steering wheel and out comes
the airbag.
Him:”Dammit Pamella are you crazy”I see Africa as I pick
my head up.
Me:”You open this damn gate right now or I'll smash the
whole lot of it”I say as I again start the car.
“Just let her go!”Sembi shouts towards us.
Me:”Listen to her”I say.
I'm aware that my nose is bleeding but I don't care much
for that right now I just want to get the hell out of here!
Eventually he does open up and I drive away just as
fast.I'm enraged with so much adrenalin coursing
through me and we all know about adrenalin it's a fight
or flight reaction so you can imagine how I'm flying this
car right now I need to get to Dad’s like yesterday!
Me:”Oh no no no this can't be happening!”I say
frustrated.
I'm running out of gas and I'm just about 3 streets away
from dad's.I slow down so that I don't burn too much fuel
and so I drive at a snail's speed.
Okay now 2 streets away don't die on me now car.
Kwangath angshongo yamedane yacisha imoto(Like I
didn't just say the car went off on me)
Jesus what now?!I think of just walking the whole way
but with my bags and everything?No ma'am.
What if I leave the car and it gets stolen?
I check the time and it's well after 9pm.
Me:”Come on Dad pick up the phone”I say as I've been
on the line for a whole five minutes and he isn't picking
up.
Damnit!I think to myself.I turn off the phone and also
turn in for the night as I succumb to having had knocked
my head on the steering wheel earlier on.I feel
exhausted it must be the adrenalin wearing off.
I push back the chair all the way down and make sure the
windows and doors are locked and I look into my bag and
pull out a fleece and sleep.

Oh God why??!I say when I think I hear knocking which

sounds more like it's inside my flippin’ head.
I open my eyes reluctantly and look at my surroundings
and I don't need to be reminded that I slept in a car my
body is doing that pretty well thank you.
Ahh my back aches.
Jesus someone's knocking on my window.I jump and pull
my chair up and try to fix myself but the knocker is
getting impatient.
I set to roll down my window but stop to think what if I'm
being hijacked here?
“Hello?”a male voice says now I'm very much convinced
I'm about to be hijacked.
“Are you okay in there?”he asks and his voice sounds
familiar.
I make a grab for a stiletto from the back don't look at
me like that it worked on Brina so I'll rather be safe than
sorry.
I then roll down the window ready to strike whoever it is
on the other side of it.
“He-ey whoah”he exclaimed.
Me:”Ahh”I cry as I come into contact with the morning
sunlight.
I flap my eyelashes a few times to adjust to the light.
Anthony??
Him:”Pamella?What are you doing here?Wait what
happened to you?You're [Link] you okay?”he says
all at once worry visible in his face.
I just look back at him blankly he must calm his fine ass
[Link] stops examining my face when he sees me just
looking at him.
Him:”Talk to me did something happen to you?”
Me:”No I'm fine”he frowns.
Him:”Going somewhere?”he asks looking back at my
bags.
Me:”Yes to Dad's,I just unfortunately ran out of gas
before I could get there”
Him:”And so you slept out here?”
Me:”You could say that”
Him:”Jeez Pamella do you realize how unsafe that
is,what if something worse than that nosebleed had
happened to you?How could you not fill up or check the
gas before you set out to come see your dad”
Me:”I thought I was yet to see my Dad but here he is in
front of me right now”I say and roll my eyes.
Him:”Hey don't get smart with me you were careless”
Me:”Okay okay I get [Link] do you want anyway?”
Him:”To get you out of here come on step out the car
and let's push it towards my house”
Me:”What your parents have a home around here also?”
Him:”I said my house not my home come on now get”he
says and goes around the back of the car.
Mxm I watch him as he is in his gym gear he must be
from a jog and I must say he looks good.
“Hello?”I hear him say.
I step out the car and go back to push with him.
Me:”So how far is YOUR HOUSE from here?”I ask as we
start pushing.
Him:”4 houses away”
I'd be lying if I said I was pushing he was doing all the
work,I'm just so tired [Link] my I feel so light
[Link]'s as if with every push this car gets heavier or
my arms failing me?Uh-oh my legs also seems to can't
hold off so much weight...
Him:”Hey hey hey Pamella what are you doing??Pamella
God dammit!”I hear him say from afar.
I think I missed a step or something while pushing and
boom I felt the wind being knocked out my lungs and
everything went dark.

“Oh you're up?”he asks startling me as I sit up from the

couch.
Me:”No,I just got tired of staring at the back of my
eyelids”
And now looking at this hot temptation leaning by the
door with no shirt on and his pants loosely hanging on his
hips that way child I should have just kept my eyelids
closed!
He does a slight smirk while frowning,it looks cute.
Him:”Don't try to be all smart with me Miss “that weak
to push a car so I faint”.he says wiggling his brow.
I gasp and he muffles a laugh.
Me:”Ouch”I say when I stretch and somewhat twist my
neck.
He's by my side in an instant.
Him:”Hey are you okay?”he asks looking up at me.
He's crouching in front of me and takes my hands into
his, an exciting shock that I can comprehend from our
little kitchen “make out” runs at the contact of our skin.
For a full minute we still and look into the other's eyes
until it feels awkward.
Me:”Yes I'm okay think I just snapped my neck,I slept in a
car all throughout the night and it didn't help that I
fainted and slept in a couch also”I say and pout.
A pang of guilt washes over his face.
Him:”I'm sorry I couldn't take you to bed,carrying you
from the street and into the house was a whole other
mission on it's [Link] couch was the nearest place that
I could put you to sleep”
All I got from that was “take you to bed and put you to
sleep”and for some reason that was received down south
with my cl(it)eopatra [Link] I need deliverance
I can't be having such thoughts about him.
Me:”It's okay I wouldn't want to impose,what's the time
by the way?”
Him:”11”
Me:”11 what cats and dogs?”
Him:”No 11 minutes past get your ass up and come get
something to [Link]”he gets up and puts his hand out
for me to take.
Did he just insult me and offer me food in the same
heartbeat?I just look at his hand and sit back folding my
arms trying to resist but my stomach sells me out by
growling;TRAITOR!
Him:”Don't make me resort to carrying you to the
kitchen because you know I can do that”I roll my eyes.
Me:”Please you couldn't carry me to bed”I say under my
breath but he catches it.
Him:”Oh so you do want me to take you to bed huh?And
for your information I was just from my morning jog
when I came across you sleeping in your car and then
fainted on me wanting me to carry you to MY BED”he
says smirking.
Me:”MY BED(I mimick his voice)imagine me wanting you
to carry me to your bed only to find it's not a California
King bed but a SINGLE bed like it's owner”he gasps.
I chuckle.
Him:”Why you…take it back”he says and charges for me
but I anticipated this so I jump out the couch before he
grabs me and make a run towards the kitchen.
He quickly catches up with me and locks me in his arms
tickling me.
Him:”Take that back”
Me:”Ok ok ok I take it back.I take…I take it back”I have
tears in my eyes from the laughing.
He finally lets go of me.
Him:”Now did it have to take that to get you in the
kitchen?”I roll my eyes at him.
Me:”Not really,the real question here should be why
should I take my statement back?Are you not single?”I
ask not really wanting to know the answer.
Him:”I'm not single I'm just in a long distance relationship
with my future wife”
Me:”You're engaged?”I fail to mask my shock phela Mrs
Gumede has been selling me dreams here calling me her
makoti while she knew her son is getting married to
someone else!
Him:”Yes but she doesn't know it yet I'm just waiting for
her to come around and catch up”
Me:”O-kay whatever that means so it's congratulations in
advance then,hopefully that would get MaGumede off
my back with calling me her makoti”
Him:”Oh but you are”I scoff.
Me:”Give me a break.”
Him:”What I will give you is food,come sit”he pats a high
chair and I take a seat.
Me:”Thank you”
Him:”I'll fix up a sandwich,is that okay?”he asks looking
back at me from the fridge and I nod.
Me:”Don't you need to be at work?”
Him:”Not when I need to carry you when you faint on
me”
Oh God he'll never let me live this down!Remind me to
never faint in front of this beautiful fool ever again.
Me:”You could've just called Mr Dad you know?”I ask
annoyed.
Only if he knew what strain the events of last night had
put on me for me to faint on him like that he'd keep his
mouth shut.
He turns back to me and his lips curve into a goofy smile
while he looks at me like I said something stupid.
Me:”What?”
Him:”Mr Dad?”he breaks out in a chuckle which tugs at
my heart.
I roll my eyes and softly smile also this idiot will be the
death of me.
Me:”You're such a bore”
Him:”I'm sorry sweetheart but I'm not exactly MR DAD’S
favourite right now not after Wednesday's dinner”
Me:”Oh that?How's your hand?”
Him:”Fine enough to carry you when you faint on me”
Oh my God can he not!!!
Me:”Anthony!!!”I take a tablecloth and throw it at him.
It lands on his back and he turns and throws polony and
it lands smack bam on my forehead and slides down my
face.
I sit there in shock with my jaw on the floor.
Him:”You can close your mouth now”
I walk over to his side of the kitchen counter and grab the
ketchup.
Him:”Hey put that down…Pamella!!”
I don't waste time and shoot him with the ketchup bottle
and he grabs the cheese and smudges it on my face then
I take the slice of bread and break it on his head.
We look really silly doing this breaking out in giggles
when we get the other and smudge their face with food.
He tries to shove some tomatoes in my mouth but I bite
his finger.
Him:”Ahhh,that's cheating.”he cries.
I take this is a chance to smudge his face with the cheese
but I guess he saw me coming because he just grabbed
me by the shoulders.
Him:”You cheated”he says bringing me closer to him.
Me:”All's fair in love and war”I say our foreheads
touching with our lips just inches apart.
Him:”Love huh?”he says looking at me intensely.
He closes the gap between us and puts his warm lips on
mine I don’t respond at all and then I hear him inhale
[Link] still for a second.
He keeps giving me light baby kisses I guess it's to make
me ease up but I can't don't this.
Me:”Anthony…”
I don't to get to say anything else he blocks my speech
with his tongue lightly stroking [Link] feel of it against
mine is so good I can't help the moan in the back of my
throat.
His hands move from my shoulders to the back of my
head deepening the kiss.
This feels so right but it's at a rotten timing it hasn't even
been over 24hrs when I received news that my boyfriend
had cheated on with his cousin and now here I am
sucking faces with my dad's associates’ son it feels so
right though.
Unbidden tears make their way down my face and my
knees buckle shit I can't “faint on him” again.
I feel him pull back but I can't see his face because I have
my eyes tightly closed with my lips [Link] must
think I'm crazy.I don't know what to make of this,it's all
just too much really.
He puts my face in his hand and asks.
Him:”Babe are you okay?”he asks softly worry audible in
his voice.
That “are you okay?” was my undoing and no force
could've stopped the shriek sob that escaped my lips and
my floodgates came crashing in.
Him:”Hey hey don't cry”he said as we both sank to the
floor.
He held me and let me [Link] that happened last night
came back at me hard,I hadn't really had the time to take
it all in and comprehend how it affected me emotionally
and now I had to do it here .
Way to go Pamella!
Finally my crying seized he kept brushing my back and
telling me to “hush now” and I almost laughed at that
but I couldn't come off more weird now after crying in
between a kiss.
I can't even bring myself to look at him my this is
embarrassing!
We sit in a relative silence until I finally pluck up the
courage to face him.I clear my throat.
Me:”I'm sorry”I say and quickly look down.
He puts his finger under my chin and brings me to look at
him.
Him:”What's wrong?”
I take my bottom lip in my teeth to stop from crying
[Link] what's wrong with me?!
As if him catching me sleeping in my car with my nose
bleeding and then “fainting on him” isn't enough I'm now
crying.
Him:”Did I hurt you in any way?”I look at him.
Me:”Oh no,it's not you.I'm just…so overwhelmed trying
to wrap my head around everything that happened with
Africa last night and ending up here with you…”
Him:”What happened with Africa last night?!”
Oh my I've said too much.
Me:”Nothing!I-I should get going”
Him:”No Pamella you'll tell me what happened!Is he the
reason why you were bleeding?”
Me:”Yes but…”
He quickly stands up and hits the counter with his fist.
Him:”Did he hit you??Fuck I'm gonna kill that bastard!”
Wow dramatic much?
Me:”No he didn't,he'd never lay a hand on me.I would
never allow it.”
Him:”So how did you get to bleed?And Pamella I swear if
you just about lie to me”he gives me a “just you try me”
look.
Ok calm down oil.
I tell him everything that happened last night all up to
how he came to find me sleeping in the car,he only
seemed to be getting redder with each revelation and
when I was done he hit the counter harder and kicked
down a barstool.
Him:”That bastard!”he says pacing up and down.
Me:”I really should get going”I say and get up from the
floor.
He stops his pacing and comes to stand in front of me
and takes me in his arms.
Him:”I'm sorry babe.”
Me:”Thanks”I say and he places a soft peck on the top of
my head.
He pulls back and holds me at arm's length his eyes
roaming all around me looking for God knows what.
Me:”I'm fine”I say finally and he pulls me back into his
arms.
I've counted all 6 of his packs the way he keeps pulling
me to him.
Him:”He'll get what's coming to him,you don't have to
go.”
Haha he thinks he's smooth.
Me:”No I really need to go,I need to freshen up.”
Him:”You can do that here,I have a bathroom and it's big
enough it's not a “SINGLE’S” bathroom you'd fit in just
fine,plus you have all your things in your car”he says
wiggling his brow.
Me:”You have this all figured out huh?”I say,he nods.I
can't help but smile.
Him:”Now you have no reason to say no.”
Me:”Oh but I have to,I need to go and prepare for my
final exam tomorrow and also I'm sure people have been
trying to reach me my phone's been off since last
night”he frowns.
Him:”Okay I'll take you home but only on one condition.”
Oh boy what now?
Me:”Mhmm?”
Him:”Have a celebratory dinner with me tomorrow”
Me:”What are we celebrating?”
Him:”You writing your final exam.”
Ahh this sweet sweet man.
Me:”Don't you think that's premature;celebrating when I
haven't even gotten my results?”
Him:”I don't think so I know you have this in the
bag,you're beauty and brains.I don't hit on dumb
women”
Me:”Oh so you are hitting on me?”
Him:”No,don’t flatter yourself”I punch him lightly and he
gives me that slight smirk of his that melts my heart.
Me:”Take me home then.”
Him:”Okay let me grab a shirt first”
Me:”Thank God I couldn't stand the temptation”he gives
a full laugh and it's a beautiful sound.
Him:”Who's hitting on who now?”
Me:”Oh get lost!”
He kisses me on the cheek and hurries out the kitchen.I
let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding and also
find my way out the kitchen and go wait for him in the
lounge.
With the few minutes I have to myself I sit back and
reflect on everything that's happened in such a short
space of time and decide that whatever that happened
inside this house will stay behind when I step out that
door.
I'm not emotionally equipped to take on another
relationship right now and even though I feel a strong
connection between Anthony and I,I can't act on it at
least not now.I need a break.
Him:”Let's go”he says patting me on the shoulder.
I look at him and he's in a white t-shirt and jeans with his
black Nike Air Force sneakers and papi looks gooood in
jeans!
I follow reluctantly behind him.
Me:”We’re not taking my car?”I say as he opens the door
for me.
Him:”No I don't drive those little toys”he closes the door
and goes to his side.
Me:”Okay where's my little toy?”I ask as we drive out.
Him:”I had my brother take it in for service since it had a
dent and have your airbags reinstalled.”
How do I stay away from him when he's so good?
Me:”Take it in?I didn't have gas.”
Him:”I do”
Me:”What you have gas around the house?”
He nods.
Me:”What for?”
Him:”For when you run out of gas and faint on me”he
says stifling a laugh.
Me:”Anthony!!”he laughs.
Jesus what am I to do with this beautiful fool!
We then drive in a relative silence and I reach for my
purse and take out my phone and put it on and regret it
shortly after when I get notifications flooding in make the
phone beep and vibrate madly.
It stops after a while and I check it to only find a billion of
those notifications are from Africa!
What does he want?
Him:”You okay?”he says placing a hand on mine.
I look up at him and smile.
Me:”Yes I'm okay.”
In no time we arrive at Dad's house after all it is but 2
streets away from Anthony's,I would have made the trip
if my car hadn't run out of gas!
I'm secretly glad that it did though otherwise I wouldn't
have ran into Anthony.
As we come up to Dad's house I cringe when I see a
rather familiar car parked just in front of the gate.
Sweet Jesus what's Africa doing here??
We come to a halt and I'm silently glad that Anthony's
car has tinted windows so Africa won't see who's inside
this car.
Me:”Thank you for everything Gumede”his lips curve into
a full grin.
Him:”It's all a pleasure,I'm glad I found you when I did.”
Me:”Me also you even cleaned me up,I'm sure I looked
frightful with my nose bleeding and everything.”
Him:”I took pictures”
Me:”Anthony!!!”
Him:”I'm kidding,jeez.”
Me:”For your sake I hope you are,so how am I going to
get my car?”
Him:”That's not your car it's that bastard’s actually I'll
have it sent back to him.”
Me:”There won't be a need for that Anthony please let
me deal with him.”I say nodding and touching his hand
until he nods with me.
Him:”I'm only doing this for you not him.”
Me:”And I love you for that”the words fall out my mouth
before I can stop them.
He does his signature slight smirk and I'm flushing
crimson red from the embarrassment.
Me:”I should get going,thanks again.”
I don't wait for him to say anything else I jump out the
car and he laughs at me.
“Oh God Pamella I've been so worried”Africa flys to me
as soon as I step out the car.
Him:”Where have you been,thought you said you were
coming here…Pamella what's this?”he asks looking over
my shoulder.
Uh-oh Anthony's out the car I guess to offload my bags
from the trunk.
Anthony:”Pamella everything okay here?”he says asking
me but with his eyes glaring at Africa and his arms on
me.
Me:”Yes everything's okay,Africa was just leaving.”
In a blink of an eye Anthony was right next to Africa.
Anthony:”Why you bastard!”he says charging for him.
Me:”Anthony let it go!”my shout falls on deaf eyes.
“What's all this noise out here?”Dad appears from the
house.
Africa:”Why don't you ask your slut of a daughter?”
He doesn't even get to swallow his words when Anthony
knocks him the fuck out.
Chapter 10

To be honest had Anthony not punched Africa I would've

jumped him [Link] dare he call me a slut?!
Africa:”Oh so you have him fighting for you also?What do
you give to these man that have them acting a fool for
you?First it was the kid back at the centre and now
him?Oh I get it,it must be what’s in between your
legs.I'm a fine one to [Link] have nothing else to
offer huh slut?!”
What's gotten into this man?!
Me:”Rather a slut then a whole advocate sleeping with
his COUSIN!”I said charging towards him.
Him:”So what,yeah I slept with my “cousin” who isn't
family by the way but you also went into his bed in that
same heartbeat!”
Me:”Not that I owe you any explanation but I didn't sleep
with him unlike you I can keep my pants on!”
Him:”What else was I to do huh?!Pamella I'm a man not
[Link] was I to do when my own woman is
emotionally unavailable to me and has that much of a
drinking problem that she lands up in jail huh?!”
Oh so now I have a drinking problem??!Wow this guy is
[Link] something about him calling me his
woman made me [Link] did I ever see in this
excuse of a man??!
Me:”You were supposed to come to me and talk to me
about it instead of putting me out the house so you can
bed your cousin!Don't throw going to prison in my face I
was barely there for a day!”
We are shouting at each other back and forth with Dad
and Anthony as our spectators,I hate for Anthony to be
seeing me under this light which is why I haven't
smashed Africa’s head as yet.
Him:”Yeah it’s because of my help and influence that you
barely spent a day there and instead of being grateful
you throw it back at my [Link] is why I prefer that
girl to you,she worships me and makes me feel
appreciated which is less then I can say of you.”
Me:”Well I was your girlfriend not your therapist or
mother and excuuuse me if Sembi prefers your shrimp
dick to anything else”
In a swift movement as I spat the words out Africa
jumped me and pushed me against Anthony's car.I froze
for a second because not in my wildest dreams did I ever
imagine Africa putting his hands on me but what did I
expect from a person who's once run me over with a
car?!
Him:”You're so evil!”he says breathing on me.
I catch his hot stinking breath smelling like a brewery!He
had been drinking.
Anthony:”Get off her you son of a bitch!”
Dad:”Stop this madness at once!”he barked and we all
paused.
Me:”You put your hands on the wrong one Africa.”
Dad:”All of you get inside the house and stop making
fools out of the other and embarrassing me out here
dammnit!”he clicks his tongue visibly disgusted.
He's the first one to turn and leave and then Africa,me
and Anthony follow but I decide to stop him.I feel he's
seen too much.
Me:”You don't have to come with;I've got this.”I look at
him hard to reassure him that I'm strong enough to
tackle this without him here.
Him:”You're sure you're going to be okay?”he looks from
me to Africa then back at me.
I take his hand and squeeze it in response he nods.
Him:”I'll be home if you need anything,just call me.”
Me:”Thanks but I don't think there'll be a need for that.”
Him:”Okay then,I'll [Link] care.”he kisses the top of
my head and then walks over to his car.
He starts the car and hoots before driving away and I
wave him away.
When I turn I find Africa still there and giving me a green
look.I have a good mind to smash his head against the
concrete wall,I mean what's to stop me now that
Anthony is out of sight I can unleash my straatmat
tendencies on this weakling of a man!
He walks ahead of me and doesn't even help me to carry
my bags in.
Dad:”What's taking you so long?”
Africa:”Pamella was seeing her boyfriend off.”
Lord please give me patience for if you give me strength
I'll end up in jail again and not for drinking this time!
Dad:”Pamella what's going in between you and that
boy?”
Africa:”Just what I'd like to know…”
Dad:”You shut up!How dare you lay your hands on my
daughter and in front of me?!You may be a man over at
your house but on these grounds you're a boy and boy
will I fuck you up for grabbing on my daughter like that!”
All of a sudden Africa had his tail between his [Link]
him right.
Dad:”And you I asked you a question.”
Well what did I do,I'm the victim in all this.
Me:”Nothing is happening between me and
[Link]'d found me sleeping in the car and took me
to safety when I fainted.”Dad looked at me perplexed.
Dad:”Found you sleeping in the…what were you doing
out sleeping in the car,did something happen to the
house?”he looks to me and Africa.
I also look at Africa waiting for him to say something and
when he doesn't I start.
Me:”Nothing happened to the house except for it
housing blasphemous acts which is exactly why I had to
get out.I had to sleep in the car when I ran out of gas in
the middle of the night trying to get here and also trying
to get away from HIM and his cousin who he has been
sleeping with under the same roof as me and in the same
BED!”
Dad was flabbergasted he couldn't hide it with his eyes
all out and jaw on the floor.
Dad:”Zwane is this true?”
Him:”Dad I'm sorry but even if there was any truth to this
your daughter played a critical part in [Link]
without fail she bruised my ego,with all due respect sir
you don't know the cracks in our relationship or even the
half of it.”
Me:”As he should!He's my Dad not my girlfriend who I
can tell all of my relationship problems to and I guess the
cracks in our relationship is where you thought Sembi
could fit in huh?Africa please see your way out of this
house and out my life.”
Oh God I can't do [Link] got to his knees and got
hysterical and begged for forgiveness.
Him:”Baby I'm sorry,I really am.I wasn't thinking straight
and that girl knows the hold she has on me.I shouldn't
have brought her in the house when I [Link] you come
back I'll put her out I swear just don't leave me.”
Me:”This is another reason that I'm leaving you,you don't
own your shit you're always pining it on the next
[Link] up you can't have your self esteem drop any
lower,you're already a sorry excuse for a man that wants
to have his ego nursed.”
Him:”I bet your underwear drops faster and even lower
then my esteem why do I even bother with you?”
Dad:”Okay Zwane that's enough now.”
Me:”I bet my underwear isn't any faster then your mouth
the way it runs,you're throwing insults and name calling
me like a woman!First you said slut then I had a drinking
problem,calling the kettle black?”I asked folding my
arms.
Doing this is futile really I need this man out my house
and out of my face so I can lie down and prepare for my
final exam [Link] decided that I've wasted too
much time on this I turn to leave.
Me:”I have nothing else to say to you I'm done with you
really,you betrayed me and put my life and health at
[Link] you've come to my father's house and
disrespected him and also dragged my name if anything
Dad should fine you.”
Him:”You won't get a cent from me bitch!”
Dad:”Okay that just about does it,you bastard get out of
my house and stay out!”he snatched Africa up by the
collar and dragged him out of the house.
Hallelujah my Dad has seen the light!For the first time
since me and his “mangethe” got together he actually
sees him as the one at fault,it's a glorious occasion.
Dad comes back in the house as I'm taking my bags
upstairs.
Him:”Let me help you with that.”
Me:”Thank you.”I smile faintly.
This whole ordeal with Africa was emotionally trying and
has left me distraught.I can use a nap right now.
We get to my room and he brings the bags in while I
stand at the door leaning on it,he walks towards me and
pauses when he's just next to me.
Him:”I'm sorry baby.”he kisses me on the forehead and
pats my shoulder then turns to leave closing the door
behind him.
Hot tears sting my eyes,ever since the accident me and
my father haven't been seeing eye to eye so I've missed
him being affectionate with me like [Link] be honest I'm
a daddy's girl at heart and I needed my father at that
moment but there was just this void between us.
Sure that he hasn't left my door I bit my bottom lip to
stop from crying out loud as I sank to the floor and cried
to myself.
Nothing good could have ever come out of a relationship
that was built off of a car accident!That was an
[Link] for a guy that ran me over,really Pamella?
I should have hated his guts Nonz did tell me
this!Nonz?Oh Nonz...not only did I lose my memory but I
lost my best friends as well that should have been a sign!
NOTHING GOOD COULD HAVE COME OUT OF THAT!I
repeat louder in my head.
Why couldn't I just get out of hospital and get away from
him?!He didn't make it easy to stay away or avoid him
with all those King Steers,buying me a phone,SETTLING
MY BILL!!!
“Maybe he used all that so as to influence you to not
press charges.”my subconscious emerges from nowhere
with her 2cents.
She might be right!Oh how could I not see it?There was
no way I was to hate him to a point of wanting him
arrested not after he'd done all those nice things he'd
done and him taking me to hospital and staying with me
[Link] could I not see the hidden agenda?
Wait can this also mean the relationship also was
fabricated?!!!Arghhh I'm so dumb.
But the guy is an advocate he didn't need to go through
all that trouble to keep from jail,I bet he wouldn't even
need to set foot there seeing he was able to get me out
without even a court [Link] would've pinned
the whole thing on me we've seen how bad he is at
taking responsibility for anything and also I did run
blindly into the middle of the streets but only if I can
remember why I was running away.I curse whatever it is!
I rub my face frustrated and I bury my face in my hands.
Me:”Oh how did I get here?”I think to myself but my
train of thought is disturbed by my ringing phone.
Unknown number?
Caller:”Hey are you okay?”
Oh my could this be my modern day fairy godmother
checking up on me?
Me:”I'm okay who am I talking to if you don't mind me
asking?”
Caller:”Oh sorry Anthony here it's just that it's been an
awful long while that I've left your house and I hadn't
heard anything from you since so I got worried.”my lips
lifted in a smile and I rolled my eyes.
Drama king!
Me:”Oh I'm all good thanks for checking up on me.”
Him:”No need to mention it,I take care of mine.”
And now I'm being claimed when he didn't even court
me but that's not much of a factor right now,I need to
know…
Me:”It must be my memory failing me again,I don't
remember giving you my [Link]’d you say you
got them?”
Him:”You poor thing you don't remember?You gave
them to me just before you fainted on me.”he says in a
granny tone.
Why this man!!!
Me:”Anthony Gumede!”he chuckles.
Oh what am I to do with this beautiful fool?
Him:”Let me go I REMEMBER you saying you have to
prepare for a big exam tomorrow or should I remind you
of that also?”
Me:”No remind me to never faint in front of you again
because I'd never hear the end of it.”
Him:”Don't worry my love you can faint on me any day
just this time around I'd want for it to be fainting because
I'd worn you out with love making.”he says boldly.
Good God I gasp what is this man saying to me?!
Me:”I do remember having to study now thank you very
much for reminding me.”I say breathlessly.
He chuckles lightly.
Him:”No need to run away my love that wasn't to scare
you but it was a promise.I should leave you to study you
have a big day tomorrow and even bigger night.”he says
and hangs up on me before I could ask what he's on
about.
Oh the premature “celebratory” dinner!I roll my eyes and
smile when I recall what his response had been when I
said that.
Long after he had hung up on me I thought of his last
words and I got all excited and anxious about the dinner.I
got up from the floor and went to have a long hot bubble
bath.
After I was done I got out;lotioned and just put on my
robe and set all of my studying material on my bed and
got at it.
“Pamella are you okay in there?”Dad asked turning the
handle on my door.
It was only then that I picked up my head from my books
and I went over to open for him.
Him:”Pamella”he sighed a wave of relief washed on his
face.
Me:”What's going on?”
Him:”I'm just glad to find you alive and [Link] silence
worried me.”
What?Glad to find me alive?
Me:”Dad did you really think I'd kill myself over a guy?”I
asked stifling a laugh.
He can be dramatic at times.
Him:”Do it and I'll murder you myself.”
Excuse me what I'd already be dead by then though.
Me:”That doesn't make sense Dad.”he rolled his eyes.
This old man!
Him:”Never say never,I see you already are trying to kill
yourself with [Link] you been in here studying all
this time?”he asks peeking at my bed over my shoulder.
Me:”Only for a little while now.”
Him:”Okay Ma’Dlamini had prepared lunch and has
already started with dinner so you should take a break
and come grab a bite.”
Me:”I'd be down when dinner is ready and save that
lunch also so I can eat in bulk,2 birds with one stone.”I
said winking at him.
Him:”You don't have to mention it that you eat in bulk,I
see it and my wallet feels it.”he said shaking his head
before making a run for the stairs chuckling.
I shook my head lightly as I closed the [Link] I had
missed this!
Africa was like a cloud hovering over my life and now
that he has gone away,it's becoming a brighter day.
I fish my bags for something to wear and just put on my
pyjamas and throw back my robe on top of them,I plan
to get back straight to bed after dinner.
The next day I woke up feeling refreshed and since I had
time to kill because I was only just writing at 10am and
the time right now being 7am,I decide to go for a jog.
That caught you by surprise didn't it?I'm not one to
exercise but there's a first time for everything right?
Sooner or later I'd have to unpack my bags.I think to
myself as I once again search my bags for gym gear with
fail.
I slouch back into bed when I realize I actually don't own
any gym gear but I was determined to go for a run,it was
such a beautiful day out and a very important one to me
since I'd be writing not only my final exam but my
destiny!After this I'd have my PhD under my belt there's
no doubt that I'll make it after all Anthony did mention
that he doesn't hit on women who aren't smart and I am
nothing short of intelligent.
Thinking of Anthony the corners of my mouth lifted into
a smile.
Remembering something I shot up from bed and half ran
to Noma’s room,she should have some gym wear in her
closet unlike me she was a fitness geek and would even
use the hotel's gym when we were on vacations!
I searched her closet and found grey tight pants with a
matching top and set out for my room at once.
Me:”Come in.”I shouted when I heard a knock at the
door.
I didn't see who it was because I was busy fastening my
shoes.
“Ngiklethele okuya ngasethunjin,thunjwana(I've brought
you some breakfast,last born)”Ma’Dlamini said her voice
comical.
Me:”Thank you Mah but I can't stay for breakfast at least
not now.”
I got up and she looked at me like I'd grown another
head.
Me:”What is it Mah?”
Her:”Where are you off to?”
Me:”I'm going for a morning run.”I said taking a sip of the
coffee.
She looked stunned if I was reading her face right I'll say
she was in disbelief.
Her:”That's a first must be the reason why the sun is
already out this hot early in the morning.”claps her hands
once.
Me:”Okay that's my cue,thanks for breakfast Mah.”I
kissed her on the cheek and set out before she could
mock me more.
I run for an incredible mile considering this was my first
time but I quickly had to go back home to prepare for
school.
I was in and out of the house in record time,I had to call
for a cab since I didn't have a car anymore.
I make a mental note to ask Anthony about that later on
maybe when I go over to have dinner.
Me:”Hello?”
Caller:”Not even a good morning baby?”
Shucks it's Anthony I still had his number as Unknown,I
should save it I think to myself.
Me:”What do you want Gumede I can't talk for long,I'm
on my way to write.”
Him:”Which is why I called,it was to wish you good luck.”
Me:”How sweet of you thanks,we'll talk later.”
Him:”No rather we'll see each other later,we have dinner
remember?”
Me:”You don't really give it a chance to slip my mind by
constantly reminding me.”I state.
Him:”I have to get back to work,enjoy your day love.”
Like yesterday he hung up on me before I got a word in
and protest to not being his love.
I'm in school in no time and I head in the direction of the
exam room as soon as I arrived,I had a good 20mins to
psyche myself up for the paper and when it came I was
prepared.

“And now we have to [Link] God I hate

waiting.”Kwanda whined as we were walking out of
campus.
Me:”I'm just glad for it to be over more than anything
really.”
Her:”The feeling is mutual so where to from here?Are
you going out to celebrate?”
Me:”I have a somewhat celebratory dinner date.”
Her:”And it seems your date couldn't wait for you to
finish either.”she smirked.
Huh what is she talking about?I followed her eyes all the
way to where they were looking.I momentarily froze but
gathered myself.
Oh Jesus what now?As soon as my eyes landed on his he
started walking towards us with a sheepish grin on his
face.
Him:”Ladies.”
Kwanda:”Hi Africa it's good to see you,Pamella we'll talk
on the phone.I have to get going.”she said all at once.
I tightly held her hand,she looked at me confused and I
pleaded to her with my eyes.
Me:”You don't have to go,he should leave.”
Him:”Actually I wanted to talk to you in private.”
Me:”I don't have anything to say to you,you do
unspeakable things in private so thank you I'll pass.”he
looked frustrated.
Him:”Pamella please you need to come back to me,I'm
nothing without you.I messed up I see that now and I'd
do anything for you to see that I've learnt from that.”
Me:”I don't want you doing anything for me Africa.”
Him:”Oh so I'm only good to you when I can do things
that only benefit you?I got you out of jail and I can just
easily send you back.”
I tensed at the possibility of him doing that but drew
comfort from the knowledge that Mr Dad had just a big
influence on the system as Africa did.
Me:”You've already gotten me on a hospital bed so do
your worst.”
The matter of him running me over had always been
sensitive with him and I guess that fact remained
because as I brought it up his face along with his knees
dropped to the ground and he started crying.
This took me back to the time back at the hospital when I
had let him cry on me and at that time I hated seeing him
like that but now his crying didn't move me except for
making my insides turn.
Me:”Africa get up,you're attracting unnecessary
attention.”he only cried louder.
So help me God I can't stand grown man hysterics.
Him:”I didn't mean to run you over and call me selfish
but given the chance I'd do it again if I get to be with you
again and this time I'd do things differently and not be
[Link]'s all I need MaMusa,a second
[Link]?”
Me:”Given the chance I'd have stayed home and not
gone out to the mall that day then I wouldn't have to run
into you wait you wouldn't have to run into me and
suppose you did,I would make it a point to leave you
behind in that hospital.”
Him:”You don't mean that,all of that was supposed to
happen for us to find one [Link] were made for
each other why can't you see?”he asked violently shaking
me.
I had my eyes tightly shut,unbidden tears made their way
down my [Link] couldn't he just let me go?!
“Hey what's going on here?”my eyes flew open as I knew
the voice all too well.
I myself got hysterical when I saw my big brother
standing there,I don't know which winds blew him here
but I'm [Link] looked at me and started to
apologize profusely.
I didn't want to hear any of it,I ran into Sbo’s arms and
buried my head in his [Link] came to rub my back
and apologized once more before he turned to leave.
Sbo:”Are you okay sugarfoot?”
Me:”This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life
but he couldn't just let me be happy.”
Him:”Shhh...that's why I'm here I wanted to take you out
so we can celebrate but I guess that's no longer on the
cards [Link]'s going on between you two?”
Me:”Is he a safe distance from you?”we both looked
behind us when I asked.
Him:”He seems to be out of sight why?”
Me:”You'd want to crack his skull for this one and I really
don't need that drama.”he rolled his eyes.
Him:”What's to stop me from going after him.”he
wiggled his brow.
I smiled wryly.
Me:”Oh brother just how much I've missed you.”
I said my goodbye to Kwanda promising to call and make
plans for us to go out and [Link] the ride home I
had told Sbo everything and he felt it beyond him to
contain his anger.
He was grinding his teeth and his knuckles were white
from clutching on the steering wheel too hard.I was glad
when he put off the idea of the both of us going out
because I really needed some rest before I could go over
to Anthony's.

I had asked Ma’Dlamini to wake me up around 4pm but

wasn't delighted when she did because I was enjoying my
sleep.
I reluctantly got up and went to take a quick shower and
got dressed.
He said we were having dinner so I figured something
elegant will do which is how I came to pick my dark green
boob tube dress with a slit and I complimented the dress
with my cream crocodile skin pointed Steve Madden
shoes.I resisted the urge to put on my favourite diamond
neckpiece that Africa had bought for me.
I rather settled on my pearls and the only make up I had
on that evening was my smile because it was put on not
a genuine smile.
I took my clutch bag together with my black coat and
went out to Anthony asking Ma’Dlamini to tell Dad I was
out with a friend and will be back after a while.
Anthony didn't come inside the yard so I had to walk all
the way out to the gate.I found him outside his car and
his eyes watched me intensely as I walk over to him.
Me:”Thank you.”I said when he held the door for me to
get in and he quickly ran over to his side once I was
inside.
I was secretly glad that his house wasn't that far out from
Dad’s because it meant that we'd there in no time but
with the silence in the car we seemed to be taking longer
to get there.
Upon our arrival,we drove in and he put the engine out
which had been the only sound that could be heard in
the car when we drove here.
We sat in the car long after the engine had died down
and I heard him sigh loudly.
Him:”Are you okay you've been awfully quiet.”I gave a
nod.
Me:”I'm fine I had a big day and I believe an even bigger
night awaits me?.”I peered at him from under my lashes
and caught him smile.
Him:”You bet.”he said as he unlocked the doors.
He jumped out first and quickly came to my side to open
for me but I had half beat him to that.
Him:”Allow me.”he said and took my hand helping me
down.
We walked over to the house hand in hand.
Him:”Let me take that for you.”I let him help me out of
my coat.
Me:”Thank you.”
When I was out of the coat he took a step back and
studied me,he looked at me hard and long enough for
me to think there was something with my choice of
outfit.
Him:”For my eyes you should not put this back on for the
rest of the night,you look stunning.”I flushed.
Me:”You don't look bad yourself.”that was an honest
truth he looked gorgeous in his black pant suit with a
light pink shirt and formal shoes.
Him:”Dinner’s this way,beautiful.”it was in the way he
said it that it tug at my heart.
He called me beautiful as it were my name and I believed
I WAS beautiful.I had my arm around his when he led us
through to the dinning area where a table for two was
set.
We settled into our seats him stopping to pull out one for
me before he took his,he was a fine gentleman and
continued in that manner throughout the night.I enjoyed
being in his company he made it so easy to be with his
flattery and jokes.
We had an exquisite dish of creamy macaroni and cheese
which he insists he made himself but I don't believe him
one bit,I know for his mom to be an excellent cook not
him.
We then went on to have malva pudding as dessert and
he suggested we take our bowls with to the lounge so we
can be comfortable.I was glad he said that when he did
because I'd love to put my feet up.
I also insisted that he bring my glass of wine with which
he reluctantly obliged [Link] put on the tv and told him to
leave it on the M-Net City Channel seeing that my
favourite cop drama Major Crimes was on,he reluctantly
obliged to that too.
I frowned Africa liked to watch it with me.
Devil be gone!How could I even think of him at a time
like this?!I hate him!even when I was saying it in my head
I shy away from saying it too [Link] I not want to hear
myself say it?Do I really hate him?
Me:”Hmm?”I asked when Anthony nudged my arm.
Him:”Are you okay?Would you like a throw it's getting
chilly?”
Me:”I thought you'd never ask.”I said smiling at him.
We then heard the intercom ring.
Me:”Are you expecting anyone?”I inquired a wave of
sadness washed over me,I like it being just us here.
Him:”Not that I know of no.”
He went out to the door and came back with his sister.
She seemed baffled to find me there.
Him:”Excuse me beautiful it seems we have an
unexpected guest.”
Her:”It's okay brother it did cross my mind that you
might have someone over but even in my wildest dreams
I wouldn't have thought of HER being here.”I don't like
her at all.
And she's regarding me as the “unexpected guest” when
she's the one that's just walked [Link]'s another level of
dumb.
Also what's this I hear of her “expecting” Anthony to
have someone else other than me over at his
house?What is he not telling me?
Him:”No sis you're the one that's just showed up at my
door.”she gasped.
Her:”Me,a guest in my own brother's house?.I don't think
so.”she said matter-of-fact.
Sensing the sudden tension in the room he offered his
sister something to drink and went out to the kitchen
leaving the both of us in the lounge.
I picked up my own glass and took a long sip.I lifted the
glass up and could see her face at the bottom of it,and
she looked weirdly shaped through the glass with a slim
body and a big head.I almost laughed out loud.
Anthony came back with her glass of wine and handed it
to her before settling down beside me much to his
sister's annoyance.
Him:”So what brings you by little sis?”he asked
cheerfully.
Her:”We're twins I can't be your little sister and as YOUR
TWIN I had an unsettling feeling that you wasn't
okay.”she said that looking at me.
Bitch you are the unsettling feeling,I swear to God this
trick is trying me.
Him:”Your twin senses were wrong,I'm very much happy
at the moment.”he smiled contentedly at me and I gave
him a pressed smile.
Her:”You don't say.”she takes a sip of her wine.I
suddenly got to my feet.
Him:”Where are you going?”he asked also rising from his
seat,I beckoned him to sit back down.
Me:”I'd like a refill please if that's okay?.”I stated coolly
not really asking.
I heard him groan but set out for the kitchen still with my
glass on hand.I had planned to just pour a glass and
return to the lounge at once but seeing the whole bottle
there I had a change of mind,I'd need the whole of it to
tolerate Anthony's venomous sister.
I walked back with the bottle to the lounge and set it
before me,suddenly the room fell quite.I didn't care for
that I'd had a bad day and hoped to forget all about it for
the while that I'd be here but the “unsettling” Antonella
had to show up.I poured myself half a glass and down it
in one go.
The sister had her eyes widened looking at me and
Anthony mirrored it.
I was about to pour another glass when he set the bottle
down.I gave him a look but he remained resolute.
Him:”I think you've had enough.”he said gently concern
visible on his face.
Me:”So what you're keeping tabs or do you have a limit
for me?”I said this through my teeth.
He just got to his feet and put out his hand for me to take
for a while I looked at it but eventually I took it.
Him:”Excuse us.”his sister nodded knowingly.
He led us upstairs to where I assume is his room.
Me:”Why do you have me up here?”
Him:”I've wanted to have you up here for a while”he
paused and looked at me shaking his head as to dismiss a
thought he had.
He cleared his throat and began again.
Him:”I didn't want for us to argue in front of my sister.”
Me:”Why would we argue?”I shot back,he scratched his
head.
Him:”Your drinking.”he said looking everywhere but at
me.
Me:”Are you insinuating that I can't handle my drinking?”
Him:”I'm not saying anything but it had been said that
you might have a problem and seeing you go at it like
that…”
Me:”So you'd believe an advocate who slept with his
own cousin to say anything true?”
I know this is because of what Africa said yesterday.
Him:”I don't believe him but you didn't deny it when he
said so,do you have a drinking problem?”
Me:”Don't ask for my opinion when you only just want a
confirmation,I see your mind's already been made up
about me.”I say and turn to leave.
I bump into his twin and she sizes me up with her eyes.
Her:”Your phone's been ringing non-stop disturbing my
peace.”she hands it to me.
I answer immediately without checking the caller’s ID.
Caller:”Makoti?”I heard Bab’Zwane on the other end.
Me:”Sawbona Baba unjan?(Evening Dad how are you?”
Him:”Akukho kuhle neze ntombi(not good at all)it's
Africa.”he gave a shallow sigh which had me worried.
Me:”What's wrong with him?”
Him:”He's been admitted to hospital,it doesn't look good
at all.”I could hear the pain in his voice.
Oh Africa will I ever rid you out of my life???!
Me:”Yena uBaba ubefunani kumina(how could I be of
help)?”
Him:”It's a lot to ask I know but can you come to the
hospital?”he says the last part in an urgency and as if
worse could happen if I don't turn up at the hospital.
Me:”It's okay Baba just tell me where and I'll be right
there.”
Him:”Sengzobona ngawe ke ntombi(I'll see you when you
get here).”he sounds glad I agreed.
Which I shouldn't have!I don't owe it to Africa or anyone
for that matter but how could I say no to such a sweet
old man?And because of being a sucker for Bab’Zwane
I'm now faced with the dilemma of having to ask this jerk
to take me home.
Him:”Is everything okay?”he frowns looking down at me.
Me:”I have to get going.”code for take me home!
He is taken back by what-I don't [Link] couldn't
possibly think I'd spend another minute with him and his
“unsettling” twin not after he'd called me out no in fact
said I have a drinking problem!
Him:”I thought we were still having a celebratory
dinner?.”he asks raising his brow.
Me:”The dinner part is over and I'm sure I've had one too
many on the celebrating bit now if you don’t mind please
get me home I need to get to hospital.”if it isn't my brain
colluding with my mouth against me!
I wasn't going to tell him where I'm going in fact I wasn't
ever going to contact him again.
With a swift movement he was in front of me and had
the back of his hand on my forehead.
Him:”You don't feel sick to me?.”
Me:”I didn't say I feel sick in fact I feel so fine that I'll
walk back home thank you.”I turn and start out on the
stairs.
I hear his hurried steps as he follows behind me down
the stairs,I go straight for the lounge pick up my purse
and go collect my coat wanting to be out of that house as
in like yesterday.
His eyes follow me as I move about I feel them gawking
at me but I won't be fazed I just want to be gone from
the place.
To my surprise he walks ahead of me and holds open the
door to his car for me to get in.I say thank you under my
breath literally biting on the words so they'd be
inaudible.
He gets in on his side starts the car and hoots to his sister
standing at the door and we drive out.
Once again I'm glad that I live just close by so the silence
in the car doesn't have to stretch that long.
I decide to call the house ahead of time to see if I can get
Mr Dad to drop me off at the hospital.
“Musa residence how can I help you?”
Me:”Kodwa Mah(but mom)”I stifle a laugh.
Her:”Suka kanti uwena sengimoshe isingisi sami(Oh it's
only you I wouldn't have wasted my good English
greeting you)”.she says.
Me:”Owawisifundiswe uban(who taught you?)”.she
scoffs and I can bet my money that she rolled her eyes.
Her:”I'm sure you didn't call about that.”she says
yawning.
Me:”Is Mr Dad back home as yet?”
Her:”No I think he'll be out all night.”
Me:”Oh no!.[Link] does that?.he stays out all night?!”I
ask failing to hide the shock in my voice.
Her:”Only at night.”she says humorously.
Me:”Mah you will be the death of me.I'll be home in a
few,see you in a bit.”she doesn't say good bye or
anything just hangs up.
Him:”You are home.”he says as the engine dies down.
That fast???
I attempt to get off the car but find the doors are locked I
quickly snap my head back up at him and he meets my
gaze,holding it and my initial plan to bite his head off and
get him to open the car doors falls through.
It is as if I'm under a spell I keep my eyes on him not
saying anything but in my head I'm screaming at him.
He clears his throat and says in a husky voice.
Him:”I can take you.”
My subconscious took those four little words and ran
with them jumping to numerous sinister conclusions .
“He can take me??He can take me in HIS car??He can
take me right now?Oh good Lord he can take me to the
promise land??”these are the thoughts running through
my head.
Me:”Take me?”I ask in a whisper not really asking but
just wanting to make sure I heard right.
Him:”To the hospital,if your Dad can't.”
Me:”Oh?oh no thank you.I'll call for a cab.”
Him:”I insist.”he says flatly but firmly.
I nod and hear the doors [Link] so he was going to
hold me hostage in his car if I didn't agree for him to take
me to hospital?Who does he think he is?
I rush inside the house to get a change of clothes.I slide
in my slippers and pull on a pair of jeans and a black
poloneck and a denim jacket and in that same heartbeat
I'm out the house.
He asks which hospital and I tell him then we set off in a
relative silence but as luck would have it,it didn't last.
Him:”Mind telling me why I'm driving you to hospital at
this hour?”he asked looking ahead at the road.
Me:”You offered.”I say coolly.
Him:”Okay [Link] I know I offered to drive you but
please tell me if there's anything wrong with you so I can
step on it before you die on me you've already fainted on
me.”I hear him smiling.I roll my eyes.
Me:”If you must know Africa is in hospital his father
called me saying it doesn't look so good.”although he
kept his eyes on the road ahead I saw his jaws clench and
his grip on the steering wheel got so tight his knuckles
turned white.
He drew in a long breath before he spoke calmly.
Him:”So you walked out on our date to be by that
bastard’s side?”he asked and the question hung around
in the air while I was trying by all means to not snap.
He took his eyes off the road for a fraction of a second
and gave me a “I don't believe you” look.
The hell?
Me:”Excuse me?I didn't walk out on anything you pretty
much put me out of your [Link] accused me of
having a drinking problem and I couldn’t be around that
energy.”
Him:”So is that how it's going to be?If we log heads
you're going to walk out and run back to the same guy
who hurt you and treat you like shit?”he asks through
closed teeth.
What?Did I miss something here?
Me:”Didn't you hear me I said he's in a critical condition
it's not like I'm going over there for a social visit.”I say
annoyed really.
Him:”Dammnit Pamella!The guy wants you back who
knows what lengths he'd go to just to achieve that?And
you,you run to him at the first cry of help.”I hate how he
hasn't raised his voice but his words sting and have so
much weight.
Me:”You and me are on the same [Link] for one value
that “bastard’s” opinion so much that you see it as
[Link]'t tell me you thought up the whole thing about
me having a drinking problem! You didn't just suddenly
see me have 2/3 glasses at your house and conclude I
couldn't handle [Link] heard Africa say it yesterday
and like a sponge you absorbed all that information.”
That shut him up and I was glad for the silence that
[Link] 15 minutes we arrive at the hospital.
I thank him for the ride and he asks that I call him when I
need to get back home.
That wouldn't be necessary is what I said and it really
isn't,I have Mr Dad on speed dial along with the cab guy.
I go inside the hospital and head for the reception and I
have a nurse escort me to where Africa is.
Nurse:”Is everything okay miss?”she asks holding my
arm.
I hadn't realized it but I had stopped dead on my tracks
when I caught sight of Bab’Zwane sitting on that bench
with his face on the floor.
It was like some sort of déjà vu I know this look too
well,it's been burnt into my [Link] Dad had lost
his mom he had the exact same look.
So at that moment my insides turned cold as I thought of
the worst.
You'd think that having experienced with my grandma
how sudden you can lose a loved one just after you've
thought that they were okay this wouldn't come as a
“surprise”.No;that's not the case.
Instead my heart is beating at 360 in a loop and my
imagination is working asking a bajillion questions at
once.
“Lord why did Bab’Zwane have to lose his only
child?What could have possibly happened to Africa?He
was perfectly fine just hours ago when he was begging
me for love [Link]'t he just…”I stop my train of
thoughts when Bab’Zwane picks his head up to look at
me.
I could swear I saw a tear escape his eye or was my mind
playing tricks on me??I quickly snapped out of my zone
and thanked the nurse who now looked at me like I'm
disturbed.
Me:”Thank you sisi,I've got it from here.”I say and she
nods.
I walk over to Bab’Zwane and the corners of his lips lift
up in a wary [Link] heart falls to my stomach.
Him:”Makoti.”
Me:”Bab…”I don't even get to swallow my words he pulls
me in for a bone crushing hug.
Well someone seems glad I came.
Me:”What happened Baba,how is he?”I ask as we settle
down on the benches.
Him:”He tried to kill himself,if…if I didn't get there when I
did…we'd be singing a different tune.”he says his voice
thick with emotion.
He did what?!!!How can Africa be so ungrateful?!How
can he do this to his father?!!
The ache of loss I had felt in my heart a minute ago was
quickly replaced by a blazing anger.
He is one selfish [Link] aren't meant to
bury their kids,it's the other way around!And he chose
the easy way out?!What a coward!My subconscious
screams but not out loud.
Me:”Why would he do such a thing?”I say but in my mind
I'm like “why the hell is he acting crazy?”
Him:”When you broke up with him I guess he took a
[Link].”he says it in a “how could you?” tone like
he's accusing me.
Well I'll be damned!Africa is a grown ass man to be
pulling such stunts.I should've seen this,Anthony did
mention the bastard will go to extremes to get me
back,wait…why am I even thinking of Anthony right
now?!
I should just lay off on men they are nothing but a
headache no that's mild they have been an excruciating
migraine!
One other migraine I had endured longer than necessary
is Samkelo Luthuli,my first [Link] there I go again
getting ahead of myself and saying “first love” the truth
is he was my first everything!
He was my first boyfriend,first kiss,the first boy I had ever
brought home which my grandma chased away from the
house he was so terrified!We spent years after laughing
about [Link] you guessed it he popped the cherry and
him being two years older than me came in handy
because he knew how to lay that dick down!
My hooha still gets excited at the thought of
[Link]!!!
I know you're thinking well this sounds like a great
relationship then why did it end?Beats me also I thought
we were the classic “high school sweethearts” and we
would grow old together I could feel it in my gut but now
I HATE HIS GUTS!That motherfucker went off to varsity
and went flying through his bucket list of pussies like it
was the end of the [Link] you got that right he was a
serial cheater!
As I had said he was two years older than me,when we
started out he was in grade 12 and I in grade [Link] was
beautiful and charming you've got to give him that and
also give him the title of a pathological liar while at it!
He was the perfect gentleman and PDA(Public Displays
Of Affection)practitioner,everyone knew we were
together some envied our relationship and you can bet
that those were the ones who couldn't wait to rub it in
my face when my boyfriend cheated on [Link]
completed his matric and I stayed behind in high school...
no scratch that I didn't stay behind that sound like I failed
and couldn't go with him so let me rephrase he
completed his matric and I went on to grade 11 and even
then we were still going strong and when it was my
freshman year at the same university,doing the same
course as he was(don't give me that look I didn't choose
to study psychology to impress a guy [Link] and him had
the same passions and same dreams which is what led
me to believe that we were suited for each other)he took
me under his wing since he was doing his 3rd year and I
was grateful for him.
That year I gave him my virginity and that sealed it for
[Link] had consummated our relationship and were
intimately intertwined for life -or so I thought.
To cut the story short he cheated on me with a girl his
age and got her pregnant I was so hurt and so mad but
now I just think rather her than me because she dropped
out of school while he carried on with his studies now
imagine if that would have been me,Mr Dad will [Link]
got a scholarship to go complete his PhD in the U.K I
haven't seen or heard from him since.
I randomly run into his baby mama every now and again
Zinhle is her name and their beautiful son Zuko is healthy
I say healthy because I thought he'd be born amputated
because I had beaten up his mom while she was
[Link] that's how insanely hurt I was by the whole
thing.I was destructive and Samkelo always tried to play
the psychologist with me,psycho-analyzing me and
patronizing [Link] drove me insane and when I got my
sanity back when I almost got arrested(I know what
you're thinking,I've cheated jail many times-well two
times to be exact)for beating up a heavily pregnant
woman I swore off on men and should've just kept it at
that,I wouldn't be here right now.
”You know you're the only woman other than his mother
that Africa had opened himself up to love.”Bab’Zwane
says bringing me back to Earth.
Huh?I just look at him dumbfounded.
Him:”He was devastated when he thought he had killed
you but that was nothing compared to when you told
him it's over he was shattered and the only other time he
was ever like that was when we lost his mom.I tried to
convince him it wasn't a good idea to pursue you but all
of that was [Link] was certain he had found love with
you.”She's the one”he had repeated to me so many
times and so many times I had wanted to slap down the
idea of you two being together but I couldn't deny the
shine I saw his eyes when he spoke of you.”
This is a revelation to me.
Me:”I-I didn't know…”liar!my subconscious screams at
me.
God I am such a fool I had a good man and I blew it!I
knew he loved me but I was lost to just how much he
actually loved [Link] loved me so well now I feel like shit
for turning him away at the first sight of a trial.
You can say he cheated and most of all with his cousin
and also called me names but he was hurt;I get it looking
back at how I was in a state when Sam cheated on me;I
get it but we can both agree here that suicide is a bit
extreme…okay maybe a whole lot extreme and it is never
an answer.

As we were speaking Bab’Zwane quickly got to his feet

and I jumped in panic also.A doctor had come out of the
room we were sitting across.
He was in his scrubs and from my knowledge only
surgeons of some sort wear those.
Bab’Zwane:”Dr how's it looking?”the Dr gave him a faint
[Link]-oh.
Dr:”Professor Zwane,we've managed to put Jnr on a
ventilator to clear his lungs of the gas and also he's in an
induced coma right now to stop it from spreading to
other [Link]'ll be monitoring him closely as the next
hours are [Link] had inhaled too much of the gas but
seeing that he hadn't given in when you found him
proves that he's a fighter so I can safely say he'll come
out the other end strong.”
Excuse me gas???
Bab’Zwane:”He's my only child,my only family Dr.”my
heart broke at his words.
Africa really messed up with this one.
Dr:”I know but he's still hanging in there.”
Bab’Zwane:”Can we go in to see him?”it's a plea more
than a [Link] Dr nods.
Dr:”One person at a time and don't spend too much time
in there,he's resting.”
We nod understanding and we thank him before he
leaves to do his rounds.
Him:”You can go in Makoti.”
Me:”Won't you like to go in first Baba?”I ask shocked.
Him:”I'll go in after I just need to process every thing
first.”
Me too!I need to psyche myself up for what's behind that
door,I don't say this out loud I just nod and smile to
Bab’Zwane and then turn to Africa's room.
My heart jumps to my throat when I catch sight of the
many machines connected to his frail body.
“Oh Africa what have you done?”I shriek inwardly.
My heart beats in unison with the beeping machines as I
walk towards his side of the bed.
Bathong my heart is doing gymnastics today it now leaps
out my chest when I stand and look down on him.
He looks so lifeless I can hardly comprehend who he is,it
really doesn't take that much for a life to be lost.
Looking at Africa right now I kind of understand how
delicate a life is just hours ago he was my chubby hubby
and now…now he is plain jane I say plain because there
seems to be no sign of life in him he looks pale and his
pink lips are now dark.
A tear escapes my eye,I should have given him a chance
to get a word in but I just thought he'd lie I mean he's an
advocate.I look at him long and hard wanting him to get
up and tell me sweet nothings and lie to [Link]'s how
desperate I am for him to come back to me-to his father!
I feel like I'm staring and I shake my head when I think of
how he'd tell me staring is rude.
Me:”Mangethe you need to get up from here.”I find
myself saying,it's a command that falls on deaf ears.
I'm getting frustrated now why would Africa put me
through such,I quickly collect myself though because I
had read somewhere that people who are comatose can
sense energy..wait I didn't read that I learnt it -thank you
Mr Hlongwane.
Me:”I see you're not ready to wake up you must be tired
I get it,I feel tired also at times you [Link] is
exhausting at most but we mustn’t play God and try to
take our own [Link] what Reverend Motaung
said last Saturday;we can always take refuge in the Lord
you should've turned to Him not [Link] how you
told me God led you to me that was pretty amazing
huh,so why didn't turn to Him?”I'm a weeping mess at
this point trying to make a sense of things.I've never
known Africa to be a quitter I remember when he was
still asking me out I turned him down countless times but
he'd still show up the next day.
Me:”I'm going to go now,I'll be back tomorrow surely you
would have gotten much rest by then so I expect you to
be [Link]'s rude to have a lady talk alone while she drove
in the middle night to see you and I know you to be a
gentleman so I expect better hospitality tomorrow.”I say
and laugh then bend down to kiss his cold lips.
Bab’Zwane jumps to his feet as I emerge from behind the
door and I almost laugh because Africa was just as jumpy
when I first met [Link] very own Puma logo.
He goes through and my phone rings.
Me:”Dad?.”
Him:”Ma’Dlamini tells me you went to a hospital
strangely my medical aid hasn't reported [Link]
you okay?”
Ma’Dlamini can't keep her mouth shut and what's that
background noise?
Me:”I'm okay,where are you?”
Him:”Business [Link] call me if you need
anything.”
Me:”O-kay.”he dropped the call on [Link].
I take a seat and wait on Bab’Zwane who spends less
time with his son than I did,I get it though it must hurt
seeing his child like that.I too couldn't bare the sight.
Him:”We should get going there's nothing to stay here
for.”
Really?He's giving up??Just like that???
Me:”He's a fighter Baba.”
Him:”Shall I drop you off at home?”so he's just going to
brush me off like that.
I could say I want to stay which I really do but I don't
want to overstep it so I agree to just call it a night with a
promise to visit again.

Me:”Could you please drop me off back at the house?”I

ask once we're inside the car.
He just gives me a nod and keeps his eyes on the
[Link] is proving to be harder than I [Link] do I
go about getting an old grumpy man to spill his guts on
how he'd found his son trying to commit suicide?I clear
my throat.
Me:”If you don't mind me asking Baba,I had heard the Dr
mention gas…”
Him:”It's okay I thought you'd want to know,he used a
hose pipe to get it inside the car while he locked himself
inside it.I had gone there to ask him about our annual
trips to his mother's grave this [Link] wouldn't pick
up his phone so I went over to the house and found
him.”
Out of all I heard him say my response is.
Me:”He used a hose pipe?”I ask not hiding my shock.
This question made perfect sense to me because in the
house we have sprinklers so where the hell did he get a
hose pipe?I quickly realize that my question is out of
context by the look Bab’Zwane gives me.
Me:”I'm sorry this is my fault in a way.”
Him:”No Africa is a grown man and he made his choice
now we all have to suffer,you should leave him the
ungrateful little bastard.”whoa okay Bab’Zwane just
snapped!
Me:”Let him pull through first.”I plead and he nods
registering his lash out.
We arrive at the house and all lights are out.I ask
Bab’Zwane to accompany me inside the house when he
attempted to leave right away.I explained my phobia to
him and I caught a ghost of a smile on his face.
We walked inside and he put on all the lights in the
house and came down after making sure there wasn't
any “killers” in the house.
Him:”Nisale kahle makoti(good bye makoti)”
Me:”Thank you Baba nawe uhambe kahle(safe travels)”I
say as I see him off.
As soon as he drives out the gate I close it and quickly set
the security alarm-Now what?!
I walk over to the wine rack but stop myself when I recall
the hot whiskey smell that was on Africa the other day
and just resort to going to bed.
It's well after midnight anyway.I go upstairs and could
hear every step I take the house is awfully quiet.
The bed is too big and cold without him here and the
house feels even bigger for me to be alone in here.
Me:”Africa you need to come back here.”I say in a low
tone.
I get up from the bed and pull on his robe and walk back
downstairs to the kitchen.I make myself a cup of coffee
and notice that the light in the garage is on so I walk over
to it.
I find the car's engine still running.
Me:”Oh my baby.”I say when I see the car Africa had
given to me.
I walk around it and cover my nose to turn off the engine
but something else catches my eye on the dashboard it's
an envelope so I grab that and turn off the engine and
step away from it.
I turn off the lights also and go back inside the
[Link]’Zwane must have not seen the envelope
when he pulled his son out the car,there was no time I
don't blame him his son's life was on the line.
I think to just leave the envelope on top of the coffee
table and just watch some tv but curiosity gets the best
of me so I pick it up and what do you know,it's addressed
to me!
Pamella my love;
This was the final nail to my coffin when you returned
Gitty I realized that I had blew it and that you really
wanted nothing to do with me anymore so I threw in the
towel,literally…
I continue to read the letter and I get more and more
infuriated not at Africa but at Anthony how dare
he????!So that's what triggered it;Africa must've thought
that I sent the car back and he saw red and thought all
hope was lost for us(which is partially true).Why that
beautiful Gumede fool!!!
Gitty is the pet name me and Africa gave to the GTI he
gave to me.I got up right that moment and went to get
my phone.
Who the hell do you think you are?Who gave you the
right to return my car without confronting me?!You make
me so [Link] me a favour and stay the hell away from
me.I hate you.
I furiously type and then press [Link] bastard calls
almost immediately and I watch my phone
ring,eventually it stops and a text comes through.
I love you too and I did what I thought is best.I didn't
want that bastard to have any hold over you so getting
rid of that car was a start.I won't stay away in fact you
can't keep me away.
Love,
Anthony
Arghhh what a jerk!

I don't know when I fell asleep but I remember giving

myself a glass of wine to calm me down okay maybe the
whole bottle judging by the throbbing headache.
Me:”Ahh hell.”I curse under my breath as I'm standing in
front of the closet with just a towel wrapped around my
body only to find my side of the closet empty.
Never mind that I'm the one that moved them all out,I
needed to get away from a deceiving cheat funny how
now I'm rushing to be by his side.
Now what?Guess kzomele ngibangene ngeOmnibus(I'll
have to wear the same clothes as yesterdays).I go on to
lotion my body and then slide into my jeans together
with the poloneck and jacket because it's a little chilly
outside.
Me:”You have got to be kidding me.”I say in disbelief
when my phone flashes low battery.
I just slip it in on the back pocket of my jeans and walk
downstairs to grab something to [Link] I'm wearing
slippers a flappy sound can be heard with every step I
take.
The same thing can be heard from the kitchen;my
breathing,when I open the cupboards in search of cereal
the house mimics the [Link]'s as if it's mocking me
reminding me that I AM alone here.
And I do feel alone an awful lot has changed in the past
few months.
I feel I couldn't get out the house faster as it was
threatening to swallow me along with the loud silence.

I'm now in Africa’s Audi A4 on my way to the hospital,I

don't even know when are the visiting hours but I'm
hoping they'll let me see him even if it's for a
nanosecond.I just need to see how he's improving,I need
to see that he's getting better for my sanity’s sake.
11:05am I pull up at the hospital and find my way
[Link] I arrived within the visiting hours so like last
night the nurse on duty leads me to Africa's ward.
Me:”Has his father come in to see him?”I ask as we walk
towards his room.
Male nurse:”No.”
Me:”No?”I ask failing to disguise the shock in my voice.
As if to rub it in my face the nurse cocks his head to the
side and looks up at me weirdly for a fraction of a second
with his brows furrowed.I give him a tight smile and his
face softens.
Male nurse:”No he hasn't come in…as yet,it's still
[Link]'re the first one in and you know what they say
about early birds;they catch the fattest worm and you
miss can have a little extra time in there just for being
early.”he says in singsong voice and smiles at me as he
holds the door [Link] time I genuinely smile at him.
He then closes the door behind me.I think he could see
the disappointment in my eyes and I really am
disappointed in Bab’Zwane for giving up on his son like
this,his ONLY son!
For the longest time I stand at the door gripping the
handle with my back to Africa's [Link] silence in this
room is deafening and the beep from the machine
sounds like it's ticking off the minutes I've been standing
[Link] of a sudden I don't want to see what's behind
the room is just too lifeless for my liking.
After ages I do turn and my eyes quickly run to his bed
before my legs could take me there and in that same
speed my heart falls to the pit of my stomach.
Me:”Nothing has changed.”I say defeated and more to
myself than anyone because I'm the only one awake in
this room.
With wobbly legs I make my way to his bedside and
hover over him as if that will spook him and he'd jump
off out the bed but that doesn't happen…nothing
happens.
Me:”I came back and you don't look excited to have me
back in fact you don't look like anything -at [Link] says
to me you aren't fighting enough to get out of here and
that's so un-Africa like.”I scold him but still not a single
reaction now I'm getting mad because he put himself
here so has to get himself out!
I start to pace the room because if I stand by his bedside
any longer I'm going to slap his pale face.
I deliberately kick the foot of his bed and scream while I
curse thinking that maybe if I annoyed the hell out of him
he'll wake up that's always worked with me but when I
stop to look at him he hasn't moved an [Link] I start
to get frustrated and then I'm hysterical.I'm [Link].
Why would Africa hurt me like this,wasn't his cheating on
me with his cousin enough??
I hear quick footsteps in the near distance and I collect
myself just as quick thinking they must have heard me
going ham in here.
You bet the footsteps stopped right in front of the door
before a knock followed,I don't even get to tell the
person to come in when the Dr walks in.I think it's silly
that he knocked and for that I smile when I look up at his
face.
Dr:”I didn't realize we had a visitor.”lies nigga you heard
my hysterics in here.
Me:”I am still within my visiting hours right?”I ask
suddenly panicked maybe I've spent too much time in
here.
Dr:”There aren't many of you out there lining up to see
this guy.”now that's just sad.
I clear my throat and look all over the room or at least I
attempt to because I always land on Africa's face.
Dr:”So how's the big guy doing?”
Me:”You're asking me?”I'm startled of course I had been
studying to be a doctor Musa but only one who talks to
patients who can respond!
Dr:”Africa you didn't have this lady talk to herself did
you?Now that's rude.”I giggle.
Me:”I said the same thing!”I can't help but break into
more giggles.
Dr:”Let me take a look what's the problem then.I'm Dr
Mkhwanazi by the way.I went to school with this
guy.”well this is news to me.
Me:”I'm Pamella.I've been sharing a house with this
guy.”I say returning his handshake.
He gives me a confused expression.
Dr:”Oh you're the Pamella we've been hearing about that
my guy was adamant he couldn't live without he almost
took his own life…”he says and is taken back at just how
much he'd said.
Dr:”I'm sorry,I've just heard a lot about you.”he says
avoiding eye contact.
This is embarrassing.
Me:”Only good things I hope.”I smile [Link] nods.
He then picks up a notepad at the foot of Africa's bed
and checks him and taking readings on the machines and
jotting everything down.
Me:”So how's it looking?”I say in my ever so famous high
pitched voice that comes out only when I'm scared.
Dr:”He's responding well to the treatment and to the
fluids.”responding well to…what?He doesn't respond to
anything or he would've responded to my pestering
earlier.
I don't say this out loud though the good doctor is just
doing his [Link] news is bad news so I guess this is good.
Me:”Any news is good news right?”my lips twitch into a
smile that doesn't even reach my eyes.
Dr:”Yes let me leave you to talk to him and I'll be back
later when doing my rounds.”he says already halfway out
the [Link]'s almost as if he couldn't wait to get out the
room.I don't want to be here either with someone who
won't acknowledge me!
I thank him and then turn back to [Link] he sounded
so much better when he was begging me compared to
this mute looking back at me.
Me:”Come on now Africa the doctor said you're
responding well to the treatment now get up and put
that treatment to good use.”I beg him but still not a
damn thing!
Me:”Now you're just being selfish your father paid a
huge amount of money for all this intensive care you're
getting never mind that the money is from your medical
aid but that old man risked his life when he got in that
car filled with gas to save you and this is how you're
going to thank him?!You're his only child who else will
look after him when he's all grey and can't walk by
[Link] the hell is going to put all those bad
criminals away if you're in here?!Don't you see…we need
you to come back…you have to…you just have to…”I take
one more look at him and I'm lost to words as it seems all
my efforts are futile.
Without as much as looking back I hurry out to the car
and bawl as soon as I close the [Link] a while I calm
down I drive off towards home;”Mr Dad's house”.
On my way there I put on the radio to try and distract
myself then as if to mock me like how the house did back
in Africa's home and like how Africa's face remained
motionless back at the hospital;the radio plays Africa's
favourite gospel song In Him by Tamella Mann.
It is then that I am made to realize that not once in this
situation have I turned to God and seeked Him for help
while I was screaming at Africa to have turned to Him
rather then turning to suicide and here I am also trying to
navigate through all this on my [Link] I'm such a
hypocrite.
I make a mental note to go to church tomorrow and then
say a silent prayer for God to be with Africa and see him
through this.

I pull up at the house and rather than Ma’Dlamini

opening up for me Sboniso answers the intercom and is
the one to open up the [Link] driving in I also see
Noma’s car in the driveway.I instantly think that
something is wrong,I mean a whole lot has been going
left of late.
Lord knows I don't need in fact I can't take any more bad
news.
I literally jog all the way into the house.
Me:”Sawbona Mah what's going on?”I give Ma’Dlamini a
quick hug and attempt to go inside the lounge when she
stops me.
Ma’Dlamini:”Not so fast,you don't look to [Link]'re in
yesterday's clothes,what's wrong?”this is why I've always
loved Ma’Dlamini it's because she gets me,my every
mood but now isn't the right time.I need to find out
what's going on in this house.
Me:”It's nothing Mah,I'm okay.”I even smile to throw her
off but she isn't convinced I can see it.
Ma’Dlamini:”You're my baby you know that right?”she
says holding my hands.
I nod frequently to push back the tears but eventually
they just fall uncontrollably.
Ma’Dlamini:”Oh Pammy what's going on?”she quickly
pulls me in for a hug and I melt in her embrace and
quietly sob on her shoulder.
“Pamella aren't you going to come in and greet your
brother…”Sbo says coming into the kitchen but stops in
his tracks when he sees me.
I quickly jump out of Ma’Dlamini’s embrace and wipe the
tears using the back of my hand and Ma’Dlamini pulls my
face to her and uses her handkerchief to wipe my tears.
Oh my this is embarrassing!
Me:”Hi big brother what are you doing here?”I say all
giddy as I walk towards him and try to push him out the
[Link] reluctantly follows me,I look back to
Ma’Dlamini who gives me the “we'll talk” eye and I nod.
In the lounge we find Mr Dad and Noma also sitting with
her feet under her on the couch.
Me:”What,did I miss a memo on a re-union?”I ask
humorously but everyone just gives me a weird
[Link] looks annoyed.
Noma:”Why weren't you picking up your phone?”she
asks coldly.
Me:”Oh my God my phone's been off since
[Link] you trying to call me?I'm so sorry.”I say all
at once then move to go charge my phone near the t.v.
stand.
I sit back down and give Mr Dad a quick peck,he frowns.
Noma:”We aren't having a re-union,we were supposed
to have had lunch to celebrate YOUR finishing off
exams.”she folds her arms.
Oh shoot I forgot all about that,it's tradition we did it for
Noma and for Sboniso also and today was my turn and I
missed it!
I sigh loudly.
Mr Dad:”Are you okay?”
Me:”Yes I'm fine.”
Sbo:”I found her crying in the kitchen.”my eyes widen.
Me:”Geez Sboniso thanks!.”he looks at me unfazed.
Noma:”Don't bite his head off you aren't doing much to
hide the fact that you aren't okay,look at [Link] look
like you didn't sleep a wink so spill…what's going on?”I
look around the lounge and everyone has their arms
folded waiting on me to speak so I just start tearing up.
Everyone jumps to be on my side and Noma rubs my
back to calm me down.
Me:”I'm so sorry I just had a rough night.”
Mr Dad:”Oh my baby I'm sorry I wasn’t here for you but
I'm here now talk to me.”if it isn't my midnight starring
Dad I make a mental note to ask about this going out all
night of his.
Me:”I was out having dinner with a friend when
Bab’Zwane called me about Africa being in hospital and
things not looking good.”
Sbo:”Africa's that guy that was grabbing on you
yesterday?”I nod.
Mr Dad:”He did what?!”
Me:”Don’t worry Dad that's in the past now.”you
should've seen the horrid look Sbo gave me.
Noma:”What happened to him?”
Me:”He tried killing himself.”
Sbo:”That's extreme.”
Mr Dad:”I've always known something is off with that
boy.”he says shaking his head not impressed.
Well could've fooled me!Me,Noma and Sbo exchange
looks.
Mr Dad:”What?”
Noma:”And when exactly did you realize this,was it
between going golfing with ‘Mangethe’ or when he'd be
the only one who'd listen to you talking about your cigar
collection around the dinner table?.”
Mr Dad actually rolled his eyes and said whatever!We all
broke out in laughter.
He mustn’t think we've forgotten about him and his
Mangethe.

My family and I went on to have an early dinner and I say

early dinner because I couldn't wait for the pm’s to eat
because I hadn't eaten anything at all the whole
day,mom joined us later on which was a pleasant
surprise but I should've known she was coming,it's
tradition!Just that the whole thing with Africa left me in a
daze.
Speaking of Advocate Suicidal it's been close to two
weeks now since he was hospitalized and during the last
3days of that 2 weeks,he's been awake.I had been to see
him every single day when he was comatose and since I'd
been the only one who came in to see him I would have
plenty time to be with him,scream at him,threaten him,
cry,curse and then leave with the promise to be back the
next day.
And then on Sunday I received a call saying that he's
been brought out of the induced coma and was
conscious.I was happy to hear the news in fact I was so
thrilled that I couldn't go to see him.
Now that he was up I couldn't bring myself to go see him
but Bab’Zwane took care of that because he's been by his
bedside [Link] a way I feel like I've done my part I was
there when he needed me to cheer him on out of the
coma…well more like scream at him but you get what I
mean,he doesn't need me anymore.
“Hay’wena stop diminishing my chances at getting a
raise.”Ma’Dlamini smacks my head as I'm rinsing the
dishes.
Me:”Aww mah kodwa yin?”I yelped.
Her:”If you do the dishes yourself you're decreasing job
opportunities and my chance at a [Link].”
I giggle this woman is on another level of drama.
Me:”Why don't you just tell Mr Dad you want a raise.”
Her:”He already gave me one without asking so I have to
work for the next one.”
Me:”Wow gold digger much?”I asked as I stepped away
from [Link] was about to smack me again.
Her:”Don't get cheeky with me.”
Me:”Calling the kettle black?Mah you're sure I'm not a
love child from you and Mr Dad?”her jaw dropped on the
floor,I've never laughed so hard.
Her:”Be a good daughter and pass me that dish
cloth.”this sounds like a set-up you know like the one
when your mom would be like “come here I won't hit
you” and then when you get to her she smacks
you!?Yeah this one feels like one of those I mean the dish
cloth is within her reach and on her left right side which
means I'd have to walk over past her to get to it.
Me:”But Mah it's right there.”
Her:”No my joints are so stiff this morning.”she cries.
I give in and walk behind her,she takes the chance to
smack me hard behind my head.
Me:”Mah!”I cried holding the back of my head.
Her:”That will teach you.”she smirked.
Me:”That will diminish your chances at a raise.”I pout.
Her:”Ngabe usuwubasi wam,imali ayphum’ ephakethen
lakho(You're not my boss and you don’t pay my salary)in
fact mina nawe we live off of the same wallet.”I throw
my hands up in defeat.
This cheeky old woman!There is silence for a while and
she continues to rinse the dishes and takes out the pots
to wash.
Me:”Let me help with that.”she gives me a green look.
Her:”You don't need to help me with anything actually
you know what you can do to help me?”
Me:”No but I'm guessing you'll tell me?”
Her:”You need to get me grandchildren.”
Me:”Whoah Mah how did we get to that?!”I exclaimed.
Her:”What? it gets lonely in this house,with you kids
gone I have no one to look after because even your dad
doesn't make a mess of things so I need little ones to pick
up after.”
Me:”No Mah why don’t you retire then or better yet ask
Noma and Sbo for grandchildren?”
Her:”I did and now I'm also asking for your lot.”
Me:”Aowa Mah that's some Tom Cruise shandis(stuff) an
actual Mission Impossible.”I say and we giggle.
Don't worry Ma’Dlamini is a new age house help she gets
it.
Her:”Why?”
Me:”I can't even hook a boyfriend let alone a whole
husband to have kids with.”I gave a shallow sigh
reflecting on my failed relationships.
Her:”What happened to that Zwane boy you've been
visiting?”she asked coming taking a seat on the high chair
across me.
Me:”It wasn't a social visit Mah he's in hospital.”
Her:”And you're not going to see him today,you've been
going every other day?”I shook my head no.
Me:”He's up now and he doesn't need me [Link]'s
with his father,that’s his family I don’t want to overstep
it.”
Her:”Well that's too late now you've already assumed a
position in his life.”
Me:”That's what's got us here in the first place he
wanted me to assume the position of his mom more than
just a girlfriend.”I scoff.
Her:”How so?.”
Me:”He told me he wanted me to appreciate him,care
for him and praise [Link] his dad mentioned
something about me being the first person he's ever
opened up to like that well with the exception of his
MOM!”
Her:”He seems to love you.”
Me:”That's not the point.”
Her:”And these things you're telling me he asked of you
to do;didn't he do the same?”I let the question hang
around the air.
And then the truth hit me square in the face...
Me:”He worshipped the ground I walked on and he loved
me oh so well,he apprecia…wait a minute…I see it now.”I
paused and looked at Ma’Dlamini with a smug on her
face.
Me:”Why you sneaky as…”
Ma’Dlamini:”Language!”
Me:”You smart woman that's all I was going to say.”I
excitedly jumped off the chair and went around to kiss
her on her cheek.
Her:”What was that for?”
Me:”To thank you for opening my eyes I see it now,I care
for that man and I mustn’t feel bad about it because he's
done all that and more for me so it's okay to care even a
little bit deeply.”
Her:”Well I was thinking more “love” than care?.”
Me:”Well maybe that too…excuse me I have a hospital to
visit…I love you…bye.”I said walking out with Mr Dad’s
car keys.
Her:”Aren't you going to change those slippers.”she
shouted behind me.
Me:”Once more Mah it's not a social visit.”I shout back.
She opens up the gate for me as I start the car and I hoot
bye before driving out.

As I'm driving towards the hospital Mrs Mom calls so I

connect the call to the car's Bluetooth and answer.
Me:”Izinto zaHendry madoda(Hendry’s girlfriend).”I say
stifling a laugh.
Her:”I'll smack you through the phone.”
Me:”Thatha Soulja Boy it's no longer kissing through the
phone now it's smack you through the phone?”I say just
to work her nerves.
Her:”Just you try me.”
M:”Yah neh I wouldn’t hape I know the intensity of your
slaps you'd smack me so hard I'd stop crying all at once
from the shock just because I drank Ultra Mel out the
container!.”
Her:”And I kept a tab of all the Ultra Mel you cost me,just
glad I won't have to wait long since the checks will be
rolling in soon.”
Me:”Feels like I'm being promoted to bread winner
status rather than a PhD graduate.”
Her:”Whatever I didn't call about your PhD although it's a
thing so we have to celebrate which is why I called.”
Me:”Vele Mama you never call nje.”
Her:”The phone works both ways [Link] when
can we do a spa date in celebration of you?”
Me:”Anytime I'm game.”
Her:”Okay get Noma and coordinate everything.”
Me:”Sho muntu kaHendry.”
Her:”What animal is that?”she asked disgusted.
Me:”I'm so telling Mr Dad.”
Her:”Whatever bye.”
Me:”Bye girlfriend I'll get back to you soon I love you.”
Her:”Nam ngisho njalo(same here)”she said giggling
before quickly hanging up.
Between being raised by Mr Dad and Mrs Mom and
Ma’Dlamini I'm lost as to how I'm sane.
In no time I was at the hospital and get this I didn't have
to go to reception because I'm a regular here
nagana(imagine)a regular in a whole hospital nogal!
So I was saying I walked in and the sister at reception just
gave me a nod and told me to go through with her eyes
why are you acting brand new isn't I told you I'm popular
around here,look me and the nurses are on eye
conversation basis,it's intense!!!
Okay back to visiting the man I care about.I walked over
to his room with a bounce on my step unlike all the other
days where I'd drag my feet because I dreaded seeing his
lifeless face.
I got there and got the shock of my life when the room
was empty.
“I'm here.”he said behind me as I was to walk to
reception to ask if he'd been discharged.
Me:”Hey.”
Him:”You came?”
Me:”Yeah.”
Him:”Thanks.”
Me:”It's okay I'm glad you're off the machines.”
Him:”With all your cheering I just had to get off.”he said
shyly and looked down.
Me:”It was more screaming than cheering but still
whatever it is,I'm glad you pulled through.”
Him:”I'm glad you stuck around.I'm sorry.”
Me:”It's okay really.”
Him:”No it wasn't supposed to happen like this…”
“And how's my patient doing today?”the doctor
interrupted Africa coming in the room but he stopped
when he saw me.
Dr:”Oh hey there Pamella.”
Me:”Dr Mkhwanazi.”I nodded smiling at him.
Dr:”Forgive me for not seeing you there,you're such a
frequent here you gel in with the hospital's equipment
and furniture.”he said his face threatening to crack into
laughter.
Him and I had gotten pretty close in the past few days I
even had his number on speed dial.I told you,it's
intense!!!Anyway so yeah I had him on speed dial
because I was always checking up on Africa’s
improvement which at the time was none but
still…actually he was the one who called me in the same
heartbeat that Africa woke up.
Me:”The good Dr being mean I see?”he dramatically put
his hand on his chest.
Him:”Who me?I never!”he said and we both laughed.
Africa:”Mkhwanazi you are stalling just so you can charge
me more,I know you've seen my medical aid.”he said and
you can bet the doctor's hand dramatically flew to his
chest again and he gasped.
We all just broke out in laughter.
Him:”Let me get on with my job then and earn those
coins in your medical aid.”he said picking up the notepad
which I studied every time I was in here and you already
know what I was checking for yep improvement!
Africa:”So when exactly am I getting out of here?.”
Dr:”You're doing very well such that we don't have a
valid reason to milk your medical aid anymore so we
have no use for you [Link] you'll be good to
go.”
Africa:”Finally!”he said glad.
Dr:”O-kay I'm done here,let me love and leave you.”
Africa:”Thanks bra and before you go about that live-in
nurse…”
Me:”A live-in nurse?”
Dr:”Oh yeah I'll give you her details,tomorrow's still a
day.I have to do my rounds.”he said and walked out.
Me:”So?”
Africa:”My Dad can't take care of me so I need the
nurse.”
Me:”You don't have to do that,I can move in and help
you.”
Him:”You would?”he asked alarmed.
Me:”Yeah it's no big deal.I’m sure being on those
machines left a dent on your medical aid.”
Him:”Never mind having been lifeless on a literal
note,I'm sure they've sucked me dry.”we broke out in dry
nervous cackles.
Me:”So you're getting out of here tomorrow?”
Him:”I can't wait.”
Me:”I should've came sooner so we can have King Steer
burgers like we used to back in the day.”like always I saw
a pang of guilt wash over his face when I said this.
Him:”Pamella I'm..”he started out.I smiled at him.
Me:”I know.I should get going,will you need me to come
pick you up tomorrow?”I asked getting up from my chair.
Him:”No Dad will get me,he insisted.”I nodded.
Me:”Okay I'll go over to the house and get things ready
for you.”
Him:”Thank you for this.”he said putting his hand over
mine.
My eyes ran to his hand on mine and in that same speed
he removed it and was looking everywhere but at me.I
smiled to myself thinking about that time we were both
admitted at the hospital and this exact same thing
happened.
I leaned in to give him a peck on his forehead but he
swiftly made a grab for my waist bringing me to his
[Link] briefly smooched before I pulled back.
Me:”Now I really have to go.”I said quickly and turned to
leave.
And just like that night he spent at the hospital after
Nonz knocked him out,I let out a breath I had been
holding as soon as I stepped out of his room.
This is how it all began,maybe we were being given a
second chance;a do-over but I'm not sure if I want to act
on [Link]'s one thing I'm sure of though and that's I
deeply care for Africa and that's a good place to start
right?
Like I had mentioned earlier me and the staff here
communicate through body language so when I go past
reception again I'm just given a head nod and I head out
to the car.

I drive to the mall to get a few groceries and maybe some

greens I'm talking your broccoli and all,I'm sure Africa will
be put on a diet so I want to be prepared for anything.
As I'm strolling along the grocery store grabbing every
vegetable on sight,I feel a small figure crash against me
and snack their arms around me.
“Zuko where did you run off?”a female voice shouted but
she paused when her eyes landed on me.
Zuko:“Aunty Pam!”the boy exclaimed.
Me:”Heeey young [Link] are you?Zinhle”she nodded
while I picked up Zuko.
I did mention I randomly run into Sam’s baby mama
every now and then,what I didn't tell you though is that I
am Zuko’s God [Link] you besta believe it I am God
mother to my ex’s no scratch that my first love's son who
was conceived when he cheated on me,that's twisted
right?Well what had happened was…guilt!Yes guilt got
the best of me when I came to realize that I had
assaulted a pregnant woman all in the name of love for a
man who couldn't keep his pants on!
So when Zinhle didn't press charges because she felt bad
for “breaking up” my relationship with Sam I was grateful
to such an extent that I felt I was being given a chance for
a do-over so you can guess what I did.
I became obsessed with Zinhle’s pregnancy that not only
did I offer to be the God parent but I also used to run
errands for her cravings,I was faffing over her because
God forbid if that child came out amputated so I made it
a point to see that her pregnancy went smoothly as
possibly in a way you can say I earned the Godmother
[Link] back to this adorable little man nudging my
face in all directions.
Me:”You've grown so [Link] old are you now?”he
held up 4 fingers.
I gasped fake appalled of course I know how old he is.
Me:”Ye Gods you're so big,almost as big as [Link] tell me
champ what do you want to be when you're all grown
up.”
Him:”A husband for mommy.”he giggled looking back at
his mom who gave him a tightened smile.
I mouthed “I'm sorry.” to her and she nodded knowingly.
Me:”You must love mommy very much don't you?”he
nodded.
Him:”I do but I don't like it when she's sad so I'll be her
husband like how Brad’s dad is a husband to his mom
and he makes her all giggly when they touch AND
[Link] never giggles like that.”he said hiding his face
in his hand,this time I really gasped.
And he wasn't lying Zinhle had sworn off men after our
tri-lationship with Sam and has devoted herself to her
son and she's done so well with him.
Me:”You've seen people kiss?Yuck”he giggled putting his
head on my neck.
Zinhle:”He's never told me this,I always tell him to close
his eyes during kissing scenes when we're watching t.v.
but SOMEONE obviously has been peeking!”she said
lightly smacking Zuko’s leg.
Him:”Aunty Pam hide me!”he [Link] laughed at him.
Me:”That will teach you to close your eyes next time
when you see people kissing.”I said putting him on the
trolley.
Him:”If I do will you get me marshmallows?”well he's a
sucker for those.
Zinhle:”Zuko?!”she said in a warning tone.
Him:”Oh sorry aunty Pam will you please get me
marshmallows?”he looked up at me with his black eyes
shining make that glaring at me pleading I just could not
resist.
Me:”Yes I will.”he excitedly clapped his hands.
Zinhle:”This child will be the death of me he knows I've
put him off marshmallows so he's using you to get his
fix.”she said shaking her head.
Me:”Oh but Zinhle you've done so well with him,he's a
bright little man.”I said ruffling his hair and he frowned.
God he's so cute my ovaries were on overdrive shaking
with excitement.
Her:”I try my best with him.”
Me:”Playing modest now aren't we?So girl even now you
won't loosen up a little and get some action?”I whispered
because Mr Husband here seems to be a sponge
absorbing and looking at everything.
Her:”No,I don't want to bring every Tom,Dick and Jerry I
come across into my son's life.I want him to know his
father when he comes around.”
Me:”He hasn't made contact?”
Her:”No somehow he seems to think sending huge
amounts of money and luxurious gifts for his son actually
stand in for his paternal duties.”she said shaking her
head.
Me:”Hey you're doing well with him and he'll grow up to
be the best husband for [Link] sees your efforts with
him and he wants to do the same for [Link]'s a
wonderful kid Sam is missing out.”
Zuko:”Can we go get marshmallows now?”he whined
probably bored from listening to us go on about our
black woman blues!
We looked at him and smiled,he really is a wonderful
chap.
Me:”Yes we can get marshmallows!”I said all giddy and
he got excited all over [Link]!
We strolled to the candy section and got more than just
marshmallows but who's counting I love spoiling this
miracle little [Link] go to the till and I pay for
everything including their groceries,duties of a
godmother thank you very much.

By the time I drive back home I've had lunch with Zinhle
and Zuko and also got new towels,bathing salts and gels
the works.I want everything set for Africa’s arrival.
I get home and offload everything off of Mr Dad’s car and
then go on to help Ma’Dlamini with supper.
When done I go take a shower and pack up a few clothes
because I'll be spending the night over at Africa’s.
Me:”Dad you're home!”I said walking downstairs.
Him:”No I'm in my house.”I rolled my eyes to the back of
my head.
Me:”Okay man of the house how was work?”
Him:”No the real tea is why was my car spotted around
some hospital and also whose car is out front?”
Me:”My ride is here?And were you stalking me?!”
Him:”You ride to where?”and welcome to the Musa
Household Inquisition everyone where we answer
questions with questions!
And about the ride Africa organized it for me when I told
him I'd be at the house.
Me:”I'm going to be staying over with Africa for a while.”
Bitch?! ...that's the look Mr Dad gave me.
Him:”Are you hearing yourself?”code for “are you
dumb?”
Me:”Don't worry Dad it won't be for long,it's just so he
can be all well to be on his own two feet then I'll be
back.”I said in a calm voice.
Him:”Get back on his feet?”
Me:”Yes he's not well,he was in hospital REMEMBER?!”
Him:”Yeah for trying to KILL himself.”
Me:”Wow Dad that’s really rich coming from you.”
Him:”I just don't like this one bit!”
Me:”Don't worry I'll be good.”I got on my toes and kissed
him on his cheek.
Him:”Okay I trust you but if he tries some shit call me.”
Oh how the tables have turned!
Me:”Will do,I need to get going.”we exchanged I love
you’s and I took my bag and grocery with me and we
were off.
I get to the house and I am welcomed by that loud
silence again but I pay it no mind since Africa is coming
back tomorrow.
I walk upstairs and put my bags in one of the rooms,you
bet I'm not going to be sharing a room with Africa.
The time was going on to 7pm but I had all the time in
the world so I started getting domestic or maybe I just
couldn't wait for tomorrow that much!
I took a shower in the separate bathroom and when
done I went straight to the main bedroom and changed
the bedding,dusted off the dressing table,cleaned the
bathing tub and lined up the new shower gels and
bathing salts in their rightful places.
I also went downstairs and packed the groceries.I
offloaded the fridge off of all the unhealthy foods and
put them in a packet and made a mental note to take
them with on Sunday to give to the church.
By 9:45pm the house was sparkling clean now I was just
hungry so I made a quick sandwich and when I was in
search for something to drink my taste buds watered at
the mention of wine and my eyes ran to find it right
there on my wine rack.
Now I was faced with the dilemma of drinking right
before the night Africa comes home or not drinking at all
but surprisingly I was put off the alcohol because of the
way Africa had been reeking of alcohol that day he came
to my house and insulted me.
When I moved in this house there was no alcohol neither
was there a wine rack so you can say this all came in with
me and by the sound of things I'm pretty much Africa’s
enabler,he didn't touch alcohol before me.
“but drunken words are sober thoughts!”my
subconscious sneered!
Guys I'm selling my subconscious for R0.00 any
takers?...No?...don't worry I'll wait…still no?...yeah I
wouldn't want her either because she talks too much!
I quickly made a grab for the wine two at a time there
was a total of 5 bottles instead of 8 and I know I drank
one when I spent the night here the night of Africa’s
attempted suicide.
I hovered above the sink with the purpose of pouring the
wine down the drain God knows I don't want Africa to
have a relapse so I'm preventing all that by throwing
away possible triggers or whatever BUT as soon as I
opened the one bottle of wine whoah!
As soon as that intoxicating and divine smell of red wine
hit my nose I was thinking 25 times so I stopped,I'm
wasting alcohol [Link] to do?
I can't possibly give it away to the church also so I'd have
to stash it in the room I'm [Link]'s it.
I go sit down and have my dinner(sandwich to you),when
I'm done I take the bottles up with me and turn in for the
night.
I wake up a little early the next day and I go take a
shower before retreating downstairs to have something
to eat.I'm not really sure what time Africa is coming back
so I don't know if I should prepare a full breakfast or
[Link] me call him.
He picked up after a while.
Him:”Hey Pamella?”
Me:”Uhm yes Africa it's me.”ok this is awkward.
Him:”I know,what's up?.”
Me:”Oh I just wanted to know what time you'll be
coming back home?”I heard him smile.
Him:”I'll be home during midday,they're still running
some tests on me this morning.”I panicked this is exactly
what happened with my grandma one minute she was
meant to be discharged the next she winds up dead.I'm
not blaming the hospital or anything but there's
something offsetting about hospitals for me.
Me:”Why what's wrong?”
Him:”Nothing they're just making sure I'm in the clear.”
Me:”Oh okay well see you later then.”
Him:”Can't wait to come home to you.”he said and
hanged up.
I sighed then went on to make a fruit salad for myself
and went to sit down in the lounge to watch t.v.
There were some recorded episodes of Major Crimes so I
settled on that and binge watched the series only getting
up to the loo or to have water,it's not like I had much to
do anyway.I picked up my phone and went on to
Instagram it's been a while.
As I was scrolling and trolling I came across Kwanda’s
post and she was off on a Baecation with her beau living
their best lives and here I was staying in on a Saturday
waiting on my ex to come back [Link] is what my life
has come to?!
I also realized I had DM’s so I swiped left to those and
something caught my attention.
Me:”Why in the hell was I talking to Anthony Gumede?”I
asked myself as I clicked in on the conversation it went...
“Well look what the cat dragged in?”-me
“A fine guy like me wasn't dragged by no cat”-him
“I'm [Link] you have instagram now?”-me
“I had to get it because you have it [Link] to see if
there are no punks commenting with hearts under your
pictures.”-him
“So you're stalking me?”-me
“It's not exactly stalking when you are my girlfriend.”-him
Girlfriend???I was his girlfriend??But we didn't even date
well except for sucking faces there was nothing more
than [Link] but these date back all the way to August.
Why was I talking to him?None of this makes sense!I click
on his profile to make sure it was him and there he was
in the flash doing this little slight smirk thing he does.
Wait why does he have a picture of me? I was about to
click on the picture when a call from Africa blocked my
whole screen.
Me:”Hey?”
Him:”I should be on my way in a few.”
Me:”Oh okay thank you for the heads up.”
Him:”Sure.”
I hung up,tossed my phone to the side and got on my
feet to go and prepare a quick lunch.
As I was busy chopping and dicing the sounds echoed in
the kitchen adding on to the noise in my head.
A bajillion questions were running trek through my mind
and in a loop.
A few minutes later I was done with the stir fry and
within those minutes the intercom [Link]'s here!
I went and opened up for him and waited inside the
[Link] came in and behind him Bab’Zwane also got in.
Bab’Zwane:”Pamella?”uh-oh something's wrong he's
never called me by my name not even the first time he
met me at church.I've always been “makoti” to him.
Me:”Sawbona Baba.”he nodded and didn’t look much
pleased to see me.
There was that silence again that I'd hoped would die
down as soon as the man of the house came [Link] a
few moments we just stood there not saying anything.
Africa:”Something smells good.”he said sniffing the air.
Me:”Oh yeah I cooked lunch.”he smiled affectionately at
me and I flushed.
Bab’Zwane:”Let me go and put these down so I can get
going.”
Me:”Aren't you going to stay for lunch?”I asked failing to
mask the disappointment in my voice.
Him:”No I have to be somewhere.”that's it I knew it he
doesn't like me for his son anymore if anything he
blames me for all this.
Africa:”Don't mind him.”he must have seen the hurt in
my face.
I looked up and blinked away my tears.
Me:”Let me dish up for you.”I said walking back to the
kitchen.
I dished up and we sat down and [Link]’Zwane came
down and called his son to the side then left without
saying good bye to me.
Me:”He's gone?”I asked Africa when he came back.
Him:”Yeah don't mind him really,it's old age.”
Me:”You don't have to smother me with lies I can see
it,he doesn't like [Link] I don’t think hiring that nurse is
such a bad idea.”I said biting back my tears.
Him:”He adores you,you don't have to go.I'm happy to
have you here.”
Me:”Okay.I'm done here so I'll go up to my room.I'll be
back down to wash the dishes you can put them in the
[Link] if you need me.”he looked at me
dumbfounded.
Him:”Your room,you're not sharing a bed with me?”
Me:”Yeah I think it's best this way plus it's just for the
time I'm here…till you get better right?”he nodded.
Him:”Sure.”he said with his face on the floor which
brings me to ask.
Me:”Uhmm Africa…where is Semb…I mean where is
Sammy?”
Him:”I put her out the out house the same day you left.”I
nodded.
I then walked up to my room and cried [Link] I
make the wrong decision for caring for Africa and coming
out here to help him get on his feet?Mr Dad and
Bab’Zwane seem to think [Link] this is frustrating.
Bab’Zwane cherished me like I was his own daughter and
I was the first person he turned to when Africa was in
hospital now he can't spend a fraction of a minute in the
same room with me!Mr Dad is against whatever I have
with Africa and I was somewhat in a relationship with
Anthony once upon a time?!A shrieking sob escaped my
mouth before I could stop it and I quickly bit into my
pillow to muffle the sounds.

I don't know when I fell asleep last night and I say last
night because when I look at the time on my phone's
screen as it rings it says the time is 7:[Link] my
head hurts.
Me:”Uhm hello Noma?”
Her:”Pamella are you there?”I heard her panting and I
quickly sat up.
Me:”Noma are you okay,what's wrong?”
Her:”Oh I'm perfectly fine just at the gym blowing off
some steam question should be what's wrong with you?”
Me:”What are you on about?”I heard a thudding
[Link]'s probably hitting a punching bag.I told you
she's a fitness freak.
Her:”Mr Dad tells me you've moved in with that Zwane
[Link] Pamella?You went back to the guy who ran
you over almost killing you and also tried to kill
himself?What are you waiting for Pamella,you want him
to kill the both of you in that house?!”I hear another
blow to the punching bag.
It's too early in the day for this really.
Me:”I think you're being a little paranoid Noma he didn't
deliberately run me over!”And he didn't!
Her:”Oh it's that deep huh?You're defending him?”
Me:”No why did you call?”she scoffed.
Her:”Forget that I even called it's clear you want to get
out that house in a body bag.”she said and the line went
dead.
Well I can't go back to sleep now after that!Noma is so
dramatic at times and I seriously can't deal with such I
already have Bab’Zwane and Mr Dad stacked up against
me and now her?!I don't need this!
I furiously kicked back the covers and slid in my slippers
before going downstairs in search of painkillers.
Me:”What the hell are you doing?”I asked alarmed when
I found Africa moving about in the kitchen.
Him:”Oh hey there I was about to bring breakfast up to
your room.”he said smiling sweetly but I was mad.
Me:”I don't need you to do anything.”I hissed and he was
taken back.
Him:”Well I thought that since you cooked lunch
yesterday I could also…”
Me:”Well you thought wrong I'm here to help you not
the other way around.”
Him:”I just thought…”
Me:”The same way you thought killing yourself was the
best for everyone?!Look around you it's only made things
worse!!Your father doesn't like me,mine thinks I'm crazy
and my sister thinks I'm signing my own death wish being
here!!!And all because YOU THOUGHT!!!”
Him:”Pamella I'm…I'm so sorry…I wasn't thinking
straight…I just…”
Me:”And that's the problem,you don't think!You're
[Link] make me so mad.”I said with tears streaming
down my face and hitting him on his chest.
I stopped when he started wheezing and holding his
[Link] eyes were all out with veins popping.I panicked.
Me:”Africa what's wrong?!”
Him:”Water.”he said almost in a whisper.
With shaking hands I went over to the tap and got him a
glass of water.I kneeled before him and helped him
drink.
He drank the water and calmed down,he then held my
hand and looked straight into my panicked eyes.
Him:”I'm sorry.”he said softly,I nodded frequently.
Me:”It's okay but…are YOU okay?”he shook his [Link]
no.
Him:”I have lung failure.”
Me:”Africa no!”it was a cry more than a disagreement
really.
Chapter 11
Me:”God I'm so tired.”I say as I kick back my pumps.
Him:”Put your feet up then and let me give you a
massage.”he said getting in behind me.
Me:”Oh no if I sit down now I'll never get around to
preparing lunch anyt…ooh”I said as I bumped on his
chest.
We've just been from church.
Him:”Let me take you out for lunch.”he said in a sweet
low tone.
Me:”After the last few months I've had I really need to be
taken out…by a [Link]'s all too much.”I said as I held on
to the sides of his arms while he had his hands around
my waist.
Him:”I know I have a hand in all that so do allow me the
honour to take you out…for lunch?.”he said with his
brow raised.
Me:”Okay then let me take a quick shower and get out
this skirt.”I was wearing a black pencil skirt with a crisp
white shirt tucked in with black pumps.
Him:”You look good in this skirt it accentuates your
perfectly sculpted curves.”I flushed.
Me:”Thank you.”
Him:”I love you Pamella,you're the best thing that's
happened to me and I know I've went the wrong way
about showing it but...me being here again it feels like
God's given me a second chance,a do-over and this time
I'll do everything right.”he confessed his love like a dying
person.
Me:”Mhmmm.”I said not able to even muster words.
He then put his index finger under my chin bringing my
face up to him,knowing very well what's about to happen
I just looked down and he resorted to just kissing the top
of my head while I took refuge in his fluffy arms.
My chubby hubby,a bear with a marshmallow centre,he's
a soft person on a literal note his arms aren't firm.
I have no doubt that he was a mama’s boy with
detachment issues.
Him:”Let me let you get on with that shower then.”he
says letting me go.
He doesn't have to tell me twice I take that as my cue
and hurry up the stairs and lock myself in my room.
Thank God it has an en-suite bathroom so I strip off my
clothes and prepare one of my stinging hot showers I
really need it.
My muscles first tense up as soon as my body comes into
contact with the hot water but let go as immerse myself
in the water.
I sit in that bath tub with my eyes closed and reflect on
my Sunday morning the service had been really nice and
spiritually elevating but nothing dumbed my spirit like
the fact that Bab’Zwane didn't want me [Link] you bet
he didn't!Never mind that the church isn't his.
He made it very clear he didn't appreciate me being
there when he didn't allow me to sit with him at our
usual place.I had a lump in my throat with my heart at
the pit of my stomach as I walked away from them to sit
elsewhere.
And you heard me right I said “them” Africa and his
father!Africa didn't even follow me he remained resolute
with his father while I was out here defying mine!
I can't really say I'm mad though because every single
moment they spend together counts now because we're
all lost as to when the lung failure will claim him.I'm
already on Bab’Zwane’s bad side I don't want him saying
I robbed him off his last moments with his son!
The dreaded lung failure! I didn't sleep a wink last night I
was up all night researching on the [Link] has a term
you know Respiratory failure!And it can be caused by a
whole lot of things and in this case it was caused by
reduction of air flow into and out of the lungs,including
physical obstruction by foreign bodies or masses which is
for us the gas that Africa inhaled!
He pretty much brought this unto himself but now is not
the time to be pointing fingers because as I said every
moment counts.
Me:”Aw aw aw”I exclaim.
Him:”Shit are you okay?”he says worry and panic audible
in his voice.
Oh my God I had fallen asleep in the bathtub and when
Africa touched me I guess to wake me up I got so shook
up I lost balance and slammed my face on the tub.
Him:”Oh my God I'm glad you woke up I thought…I
thought you had killed yourself.”ok hold on now
Advocate Suicide!
You know I could just tell him that that's his MO not mine
but I'm sticking with the “no pointing fingers” so I bite
my words back.
Me:”No I just fell asleep.”he nods.
Then there's this silence with him looking down at me
with worry dancing in his eyes.I hold his gaze and even
forget that I'm all naked but this man has been inside my
guts and all the way back so…
Him:”We can order in if you're that tired.”
Me:”No just give me 10mins tops and I'll be good to
go.”again he just nods and leaves the room.
I just get out,drain out the water and wrap a towel
around my body then go get dressed.
Me:”Aww.”I say and flinch when I touch my left cheek.
I dab on some foundation there and grab my purse
before stepping out.
Africa quickly comes to the bottom of the stairs when he
hears me coming down.
Me:”Good to go.”
Him:”You look stunning.”he says and takes my hand into
his.
I just have on a pair of faded blue jeans and a black and
white striped polo neck tucked in with nude heels.
Moments later we're seated in a table for two having a
late lunch and light conversations when he almost jumps
off his seat.
Me:”What?”I ask almost jumping out of mine.
Do you blame me we're dealing with a lung failee here if
there's even such.
Him:”I just saw a person of interest.”he says looking
behind me.I look back also.
Me:”Oh.”
He comes to my side and kisses me on my cheek and
excuses himself to talk to the guy who he says is his big
client.
I'm now left at the table playing with my food but I stop
when I feel some heavy presence behind me and the
hairs on my back stand in attention to whatever this
strong attraction is.
I feel eyes on me and I snap my neck to look behind me
and you bet there was eyes on [Link] Gumede in
the flash standing at the entrance of the restaurant
looking intensely at me.
He's not alone though he's with his younger brother
Sandiso but they call him Patronella the 3rd since he's the
last born and assumed the position of being the 3rd twin
by default so their names had to match it's
Anthony,Antonella and then Patronella get it?It's ok even
if you don't that's not what we're discussing here I
deliberately let my mind wander because Anthony is now
standing right in front of me and it feels like the wind had
been knocked out of my lungs.
Oh God I cannot have lung failure at least not now!!!
He's just standing there ogling me not saying a thing and
I'm looking up at him doing breathing exercises which
isn't much of a help because I'm doing it in my head!
I get tired of looking at Anthony and shift my eyes to
Patronella I mean Sandiso who looks like he had been
beaten up.
Sandiso:”Hi Pamella.”he greets me first.
Me:”Hi,what happened to your face?”
Anthony:”Not so fast,what happened to YOUR face?”he
says holding my hand that I had stretched out to feel
Sandiso’s face and I cannot misplace that spine tingling
current that courses through my body at the point of
contact of our skin.
Me:”Nothing's wrong with my face!”I retort who does he
think he is grabbing on me like that.
Next thing you know he touches my left cheek and I
flinch because that's where I had bumped my face on the
bath [Link] face is hard I don't know if he's angry or
disgusted but why?You know this is not how I imagined it
will be when we cross paths.
Yes I had made up a whole scenario in my head where I
confront him about our ghost of a relationship but I
guess this would do;I need answers.
Me:”Sandiso what happened?”
Sandiso:”Ahh this it's nothing.”he says with a pressed
smile.
Anthony:”Your boyfriend happened and I'm taking it
that's the same thing that's happened to you?”this isn't a
question really.
Me:”What?”
Sandiso:”We just had a misunderstanding with Mr Zwane
when I came over to the house to drop off the car.”he
says and looks down oh he's so sweet.
I'm reminded that I'm also mad at Anthony for taking
back my car to Africa without my permission but more
now because he sent off a kid to do his dirty work putting
him in the firing line and I'm doubly pissed at Africa for
beating up on a kid!
Ahhh what do you know Advocate Mayweather finds his
way back to our table.
Africa:”Babe?...what's going on here?.”he says holding
me from behind and slowly lowers himself to plant a kiss
on my neck.I'm cringing!
Anthony:”You should be the one going as far away from
her as possible.”
Africa:”Where did you get off telling me what to do?”he
says and shoves me behind him.
Anthony:”And where do you get off putting your hands
on either her or my brother?”he [Link]'s eyes
literally bulge out of their sockets I don't think he was
aware that Sandiso is Anthony's brother.
Anthony steps forward and they are now inches from
each other.
They are drawing unnecessary attention!
I swear Anthony's veins are about to pop and his jaw
clenching exercise is on overdrive.
Africa is the first one to blink and I'm not even surprised.
Africa:”I did not hit her!.”wow so that's all he heard from
the question?
Anthony:”So she put that black mark on herself?”
Shoot I have a black mark?
Africa:”It isn't what it looks like she was just..”why in the
hell is this man trying to explain himself to another man
instead of standing his ground?
I put up my hand to stop him from talking.
Me:”He didn't hit me,I hit my face on the bath
tub.”Anthony gives me a bored look.
Him:”You sound pathetic trying to defend him.”he spits
the words.
Ok let's back paddle a bit so you mean to tell me I was
once upon a time a girlfriend to this JERK?!I don't think
so and the way I'm fuming right now I want to slap his
beautiful face!
Sandiso:”We should get going.”he says tugging at his
brother's arm literally dragging him away.
He mouths sorry and they walk away with Anthony
reluctantly following.
I'm so enraged my pinky toe is red!
Africa:”We should also go.”
Me:”Great idea.”I pick up my purse and leave ahead of
him as he settles our bill.
He finds me standing outside the car he unlocks it and I
jump in not even waiting for him to come around and
open my side.
He gets in and we drive off we sit in the car in a sickening
silence I actually want to throw up sitting next to this old
man beating up a kid!Oh but as luck would always have it
the silence doesn't last long.
Africa:”I can't believe you Pamella,I haven't even back
home a hot 24hrs yet you're already….rubbing shoulders
with that bastard!”he says through his teeth hitting the
steering wheel.
“Pff..”I almost break out in a laugh but I don't because
I'm angry so that wouldn't look right.
Is he serious??Rubbing shoulders??What is Anthony now
a celeb of some sort and if given the chance I'd rub more
than shoulders with him!I don't even know why I'm
thinking of that beautiful jerk this guy just insulted me
mos.
Me:”Oh don't stop there bash my name that's your
specialty right?Bashing people?But a kid Africa?Come
on.”
Him:”I wasn't thinking straight…”
Me:”Oh save it I already know you can't be trusted with
[Link] probably think you'll say sorry and all will be
good right?”
Him:”But I am sorry.”
Me:”And I don't wanna hear it in fact I want nothing to
with you.I'm moving out of the house.”
Him:”Pamella please I'm sorry,I'm nothing without [Link]
you leave I'll kill myself.”Oh no he did not!
Me:”That doesn't even move me you're already a dead
man walking!.”I say and quickly regret the words the very
second they leave my mouth.
We had sat and cried about his respiratory failure last
night and he had told me his fears and here I am
throwing it at his face but he just makes me so mad!
How dare he threaten to end his life.
Me:”I'm sorry.”I say in a low voice.
Him:”It's okay I'm good as dead anyways,it's no
revelation.I'm glad someone said it aloud because now I
know it's real.”he says and stops the car.
I hadn't even realized that we were already back at the
house.
He gets out the car so what?He's just gonna park right
outside?
Him:”It's so that I don't have to drive back out when I
take you back home.”ouch that hurts.
I didn't mean to say what I said…well not out aloud at
least.
He actually goes inside and leaves me in the [Link]
now?We can't just leave the car outside unlocked!So I'll
stay in the car till he comes back.
I'm holding my breath that he comes back such that I
start to suffocate in this car and I eventually step [Link]
moment I step out I hear the doors locking. What?!
Now I have no choice but to walk inside the house.

Me:”I don't want to go.”I say when I step inside.

He has his back to me and doesn't even move.I walk
towards him and stand behind him then snack my arms
around him.
Him:”You don't have to stay there's nothing to stay
[Link] don't know how much I have left and I'd hate for
you to spend that time no matter how short it is with me
knowing that you're unhappy.”he's hurting me I really
didn't mean to say those words out loud.
Me:”Stop it I know I don't really need to be here but I
want to just like how you didn't have to stick around
after having admitted me at the hospital God knows you
could've walked away and erased yourself from the
whole thing you're an advocate!A bad ass one at that and
I'm glad you stuck around to make sure I'm okay
otherwise I wouldn't have known you.I wouldn't know a
love so kind.”
He turns and looks at me,I'm all teary this man has been
good to me the least I could do is take care of him.
Him:”You mean that?”I nod vigorously.
Me:”Whatever little time you have left I want to spend
every single moment with you even though I really
believe you'll be here a while lot longer.”I say it out loud
to convince myself really.
He just pulls me in for the tightest of hugs and we
embrace each other I hope he knows I truly am sorry and
doesn't go killing himself,we know how he loosely plays
with that kind of thing.
Instead of being out here helping him get back on his
feet it feels more like I'm on suicide watch but it's okay
anything for my chubby hubby.
Him:”Thank you,no one's ever really loved me like you
do.”ok I'm more on deeply care about him but the latter
is much [Link] he doesn't know won't hurt him.
And you never not grant a dying person their wish!Shoot
there I go again.
I look into his eyes and like always they're glistening and
dancing around.
One thing leads to the other and we're kissing then
there's clothes flying across the lounge.
And let me tell you he regardless of the fact that he
doesn't think he sure has good head!
I'm now on all fours on the couch and he carefully
inserted himself and started moving ever so slowly and
holding on to my waist as if it were glass.
I think this is called making love and I am clenching my
pussy around him so tight pulling him in so deep praying
that the next stroke will reach my soul and touch it but I
never made the [Link] like that.
He goes on for a while and when I feel his grip tighten
and his movement becoming less coordinated I know
he's close so I push myself back into him to speed up the
process.
He tenses and releases himself then falls on top of me
kissing my back.
Him:”You're wonderful.”he says blowing my [Link]
the pun.
I don't know what to say to that,my body is all I can offer
to him since he doesn't have my heart.
We get up and I go freshen up he also disappears
somewhere in the house,I prepare dinner and dish up for
him then turn in for the night.
Sleep has evaded me tonight!I've been tossing and turn
the whole night.
I put on my side lamp and grab my [Link] spirits
it's 5am in the morning!
I have an email from the company I had applied to for my
training/internship and you bet your girl got the
internship!They say they were very much pleased with
my results and want me to come in for an interview
which really is futile because I already bagged the
internship.
But wait they were impressed by my results?!!Ohhh
shoot the results are out.I had forgotten all about that
which is confusing since I've been throwing my PhD at
everyone!
I quickly log into the school's website to see my results
it's a pity that you don't get distinctions with a PhD you
just get a pass or fail but worry not my loves yours truly
passed cum laude!
My heart does a nay-nay and I jump up and down on the
bed.I'm a doctor y'all.
My family's gonna be so proud of me,these are most
definitely the best news I've received thus far not only
am I a guaranteed graduate but I also have a job lined
up!
Dr Pamella Musa oooh that sounds so nice.
I call Mr Dad but he doesn't pick up and so does Mrs
Mom and Noma and Sbo and with every call not going
through my spirits dumb down,I get that we've just been
from my Master's graduation but come on guys this is
the big [Link] up!
I think I'm going to cry why are they not returning my
calls?!I get that it's too early on a Monday morning but
they should be up and getting ready for work.
I go into the family group chat and let me tell you it's
actually called Date My Family and you bet I'm the
admin!
I don't know what to say so I just say ‘hey guys’ and cross
my fingers and toes and intestines that someone replies
but no one does none of them is online.
Now I'm just sad,they forgot.
While I'm still mopping around a call from Kwanda comes
through.
Her:”Girlllllll!”she [Link] much energy in the
morning!
Me:”Baby girl.”I mirror half her excitement.
Her:”Oh no you don't sound so good,did you not make
it?”
Me:”That's because I've just been from sleep sis,I made it
or should I say WE made it!”she actually [Link].
Her:”Yesss so don't sound so sad or do you have
something on your chest?I'm a doctor now so you can
talk to me you [Link] can trust Dr Mtolo;what we
discuss would remain between the both of us.”she says
in a cool voice.
Me:”Wena nna you'll just be throwing the doctor card at
us I see.”
Her:”As I should sis I worked for the title.”
Me:”Well alright then Dr Mtolo.”
Her:”Yeah so what do you have planned for the day?Oh
my God I'm so excited!We're going to paint the city red
LITERALLY!”You bet!I've always wanted to put on that
red gown.
Well as for plans I had the spa date with Mrs Mom and
Noma but now I'm not so sure.
Me:”I don't have anything planned I'll just see how the
day plays out.”
Her:”Okay what have you done to Pamella?Are we
playing good doctor that quick?”
Me:”Moghel it's too early in the day plus you're all the
way in Cape Town.”I whine.
Her:”No I'm not!”she says excitedly and gasps.
Me:”You mean to tell me that you're in Durban?”this
could be a blessing in disguise mos.
Her:”Well not as yet but I'll be landing in the
[Link] I have to get [Link] ya.”
Me:’Oh okay laters then.”she hangs up.
I'm all said again.I get out of bed and have a shower then
look for something to wear.
I get a little excited when I find the wine I had stashed
away in the closet,I can have my own party mos!
I just put on sweatpants and a white tee then go
downstairs to have [Link] man of the house
comes down moments later we exchange good mornings
and he also keeps mom.
You have got to be kidding me!I thought I'm the only one
who had lost their memory clearly I'm wrong everyone
around me is a passive memory looser if there is even
such!But it's okay though I got that PhD for MYSELF not
them.
Him:”Leave that,I've got it.”he says as I attempt to wash
the bowl I was using and I say attempt because I wasn't
really going to wash it I'm just testing him.
Me:”Thank you.”I say sarcastically and smile a tight
smile.
Him:”Uhmm can you get me my toolbox from the
garage?”
So he'll just pretend like today isn’t “Baby Pamella Day
because she's been working too hard?!”I don't say this
out loud though I go straight to the garage.
Why you sneaky son of a…
Me:”Africa!!!”I scream.
So he knew all along?
He comes running and stops when he sees me and then
his lips curve into a [Link]'s pleased with [Link]
dare he?He had me huffing and puffing the whole
morning thinking he'd forgotten that today I was to
receive my results.
Me:”What is this?”
Him:”You mean whose it is?”ok so he's adapted the bad
habit of answering a question with a question from the
Musa Household Inquisition but I'll let him have it.
Me:”Whose is it?”
Him:”Yours,she's been yours for a long time now.”
Yep it's Gitty she's [Link] is in the middle of the garage
with a big bow and the registration says Dr Musa.
Oh what a pleasant surprise and I don't know if it's my
eyes or what but she looks shinier and smells divine,it's
probably because I'm looking at her through the eyes of
an owner.
I go to Africa and throw my arms around his neck and
shower him with kisses and thank you’s.
Me:”Thank you Mangethe.”he almost cries I know I
haven't called him that in a long time but I'm really
grateful right now because everyone else has forgotten
about me.
Him:”It's nothing really,I know how much you love
her.”and I love her alright!I was hurt when he mutilated
her.
We remove the bow and I hadn't realized the bouquet of
white roses and there's also an envelope!A big brown
envelope.
Me:”What's in here?”
Him:”I don’t know your guess is as good as mine.”his face
is so blank you'd swear he really doesn't know anything.
I take the envelope and open it,something falls [Link]'s a
fuel card!Christmas just came early for me.
Him:”Oh but there's more.”he says as I start to mouth
“thank you” he is wearing a smug on his face he really is
enjoying looking at me lose my mind as I unwrap all my
prezzies.
I look inside the envelope and there's some documents
so I take them out.
This slithering advocate!How did he get me to sign these
papers without me knowing?Seeing it in fine print makes
it all real.I now have full ownership of Gitty.
Me:”Did you forge my signature?.”
Him:”As [Link] doctors sign like you're holding the pen
between your toes.”he actually scoffs!
I don't care right now I have a car y'all!
We get back inside the house and many times I'd
expectantly look at my phone hoping to find a missed call
or text from my family but my dear phone would just
look back at me as if to mock [Link] [Link] calls.
Not all's sad and blue though because my dear advocate
here had hired catering people to bring in brunch and we
sat outside on the [Link] actually popped
champaaaaaaaagne darling! although it was non
alcoholic but still we had a great time and I felt loved and
appreciated.
We then proceeded to go sit in front of the t.v binge
watching our favourite crime detective series also we
were binge eating our favourite snacks if anything the
day is going very well.
I'm soon to be a doctor,I have a job and a car all thanks
to this wonderful sweet man,yeah I kind of owe a lot to
him because had he not come through for me when I
was arrested not only would I have not written my exam
but I'd have a criminal offense hanging on my head.
Come to think of it he really came through for me unlike
my father so tonight after I come back from a night out
with Kwanda I'll properly thank him.
So yeah Kwanda called me and said we should go out
immediately after she touches down,initially I wasn't
game because all of a Sunday I was clingy and wanted to
spend the day with Africa since he went all out to plan
this day for [Link] were going to have a movie night but
he insisted that I go out and celebrate this milestone
with the ones I walked to this end [Link] can be deep
when he likes.
Yeah ne the ones I walked to this end with…that was
supposed to be Nonz and Anele but I guess Kwanda will
do I mean we covered most of the ground together
getting us here so why not?
“Babe?!”I hear Africa shout coming up the stairs.
Me:”In my room!”I shout back.
I'm seated in front of the mirror tying my twist into a bun
and he emerges in the room.
Him:”This isn't your room.”he says [Link] looks
cute.
Me:”You have my phone in your hands,I think that's
more important.”he mouths oh like he's remembered
something.
Him:”Yeah your Dad's been calling.”
Me:”Really?What did he say?”
Him:”Not that he'd say anything to me but he says you
should come home urgently.”
Me:”Why what's wrong?”I start to panic.
Maybe that’s why I haven't been able to reach any of
them, something terrible must've happened and here I
was dragging my weight about everything instead of
driving home to check up on them.
Him:”He didn't appreciate that I picked up to begin with
so he didn't say much but you need to go home as in
yesterday.”
Me:”Come with me.”his eyes widen.I also don't know
what I'm asking of him but he's been doing so well with
keeping me together today I feel like I'll need him for
whatever awaits me at home.
Him:”I'd love to but Pamella I'm not your Dad's favourite
person right now.”
Me:”Okay,okay.I should get going then.”I say and jump
out of my chair and start clumsily picking up my purse
and keys.
I feel his hand on my arm and look up at him.
Him:”Breath.”he says coolly and I let out a breath I
wasn't aware I was holding.
He makes me sit down in front of the mirror and takes
something out of his [Link]'s a black velvety
rectangular box and he hands it to me.
Him:”To complete your look.”he [Link] look is a simple
body hugging little black dress with thin straps and an
open back complete with black block [Link]
wouldn't cough up where exactly we're going so I didn't
want to be over dressed or under dressed.
I take the box and open it,this man just keeps scoring
cookie points!
Me:”It's beautiful.”it's a set of a pearl necklace with
matching earrings.
Him:”Let me put it on for you.”I hand it to him.
He puts it on and for once I'm grateful that I'm not so
much a fan of make up because look now I'd be a
weeping mess after having just done my face!
I'm crying…it's beautiful and now I'm complete with my
bold red lipstick but he says…
Him:”The best accessory you can put on is being your
genuine self and that pretty smile of yours.”I am at this
man's mercy melting like ice cream,I can't help but smile.
Me:”Thank you so much…for everything.”I get up and
circle my arms around his neck,the heels have borrowed
me some height.
Him:”You should get going.”he kisses me on my forehead
and let's me go.
He escorts me downstairs and opens the gate for me as I
drive out.I hoot and get on the road.
My car smells good and it doesn't help that I'm in a good
mood so I'm just smiling like a retard.
Me:”Let's put on some music shall we Gitty?”I ask as if
she'll respond.
I put on the radio and there's already a playlist titled Dr
Musa!At this rate I'll be revisiting the whole Kama Sutra
for Africa the whole [Link] deserves it.
I click play and This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan
comes on!Whooopa!
Me:”This is how we do it,it's Monday night and I feel
[Link] party is here on my first ride…”I sing remixing
the song because it's no Friday night and the party is
here in my car not on the west side!
By the time I get to my father's house I'm huffing and
puffing let me tell you it's a hard job being a one woman
band!I was singing lead,back up and imitating the
instruments with my mouth nogal!I lost it when Poison
by Bel Biv Devoe and New Edition came on but then
Kwanda called during my favourite part and that was
making me homicidal!but she was just checking where I
am and I told her I'm starting over at Mr Dad's and even
then she couldn't tell me where we're going!
Any who I ring the intercom and I am let in nje just like
that they don't even ask who's at the gate this gives me
an unsettling feeling.
I quickly drive in,shut down the engine and dash towards
the house without even locking the car.
It doesn't even register in my mind that I'm walking into
a house with no light's on and you all know how I'm
scared of the dark which is why I almost peed on myself
when the lights came on and I heard…
“Surprise!!!”a choir of people said jumping out of
everywhere even behind the couch!!!
I stood there frozen like an antelope in headlights it
doesn’t help that I bought into the notion that murderers
roam around in the dark so all these giddy people are
confusing me.
I see Mr Dad coming towards me and takes me in for a
bone crushing hug and only then do I realize what's
happening.
Mr Dad:”Doctor!”he says when he pulls back and holds
me at arm's length.
Me:”Daughter you mean.”I say smiling with tears of joy
blinding me.
I thought they had forgotten.
Mr Dad:”Daughter/doctor same difference.I get best of
both worlds with you.”I smile sheepishly.
Me:”I thought you had forgotten.”I say pouting.
Mr Dad:”You didn't give us the chance.”he actually rolls
his eyes.
I look around and there's balloons everywhere and
confetti but what catches my eye is the big banner
written “ERENG PhD MONGWANENG?” I can't help but
laugh,my family is so extra.
Me:”Who came up with that?”
“I did”a familiar voice says.
Me:”Noma!”I almost [Link] pulls me in a hug.
“And how is the good doctor?”another awfully familiar
voice.
Me:”Mom!”I don't even get a chance to be excited for
her when also Sbo pops up from [Link]'s as if
someone cast a dizzy spell on [Link] head is spinning
with excitement maybe because I was really convinced
that they'd really forgotten.
We group hug,me,Noma,Mrs Mom,Sbo and Ma’Dlamini.I
don't know where Mr Dad disappeared to.
Mrs Mom:”You look beautiful.”she says wiping my tears.
Me:”Thank you muntu ka Hendry you look gorgeous
yourself.”
Her:”Why this old thing?”she says and puts her hand on
her chest in disbelief and flaps her [Link]!
Me:”How are you mom?”
Her:”[Link]?”
Me:”Glad that I've made you proud.”we hug once again
until I feel a hand pulling me.
“Excuse me Mrs Hen can you please borrow us Ms
Party?”You have got to be kidding me.
Me:”Bongi?!!!!!”
Her:”Yessss.”
Ok now I'm hollering!This is the best day ever!
Me:”It's been so long!”
Her:”I know which is why I'm going to make the most of
my time with you,everyone in here wants a piece of
you.”
Me:”Everyone else can wait,I was even convinced they'd
forgotten about me so they must take several seats.I'm
so happy to see you sis.”we hug once again.
Bongiwe Dlamini,my little [Link] is MaDlamini’s only
child and we grew up together under one [Link] was
the only baby I knew and my play buddy because
obviously Noma and Sbo were older than me.
I was very territorial with her she was mine and still is!I
enjoyed dressing her up in clothes matching mine and I'd
teach her how to read and write.
I remember how heartbroken I was when I couldn't take
her with to school because she wasn't of age so I made it
a point to take all my learning material home so I can
teach her,she was/is a bright girl.
Her:”Soooo ereng PhD mongwaneng(so how does it feel
having a PhD)?”she asks handing me a glass.
Me:”Ere Mandela’s will start rolling in.”I say and we
toast.
Her:”Yessss moghel,you really inspire me.”
Me:”You inspire me also ubrave sis going all the way to
Europe right after high school.”
Her:”And I don't regret it one bit.”she says smiling
affectionately at someone behind me.I follow her eyes.
Me:”And who's that?”
Her:”My fiancé Dante Uchis.”
Me:”Shut the front door!”
Her:”Yup.”she said and flashed her rock in my face.
Me:”And you didn't think to tell me?”I slap her hand.
Her:”I am now.I already got the memo from Mr H that
we'll be throwing you a party so I figured I'd tell you
then.”
While we're talking her fiancé made his way towards us.
Him:”Ladies.”he said sweetly.
I must give it to Bongi the man is beautiful with his blue
eyes like a chip of a summer sky and slightly pink lips
with bushy eyebrows and long [Link] isn't fair
mos he has it all!I live for artificial lashes.
Frowns.
Bongi:”Babe this is my sister Pamella and Pam this is my
blessing that assumed a physical form;Dante.”ahhh this is
so beautiful to watch.
Dante takes my hand and kisses it.
Him:”Nice to meet you.”
Me:”Likewise.”
“Makoti.”
Mrs Gumede!
Me:”Excuse me guys”I say to the couple and step aside
with Mrs Gumede.
Her:”Unjan ntomb’yam(how are you)?”
Me:”Ngiphilile Mah wena unjan(I'm good ma’am how are
you?)”
Her:”I'm good,this is for you.”she hands me a big white
box with a red [Link] goodie.
Me:”Aww Mah you didn't have to.”ok whoever is busy
chopping onions around here joke's up!I start getting
teary.
Her:”It's from your mkhwenyana(husband).”she says and
smiles.
Now that she says it's from Anthony I want to know what
it is so I start unwrapping and viola.
It’s black Louboutin red bottoms!How did he know?I
have a fetish with anything Christian Louboutin especially
their shoes.I had made a pact with myself when I was
younger that when I'm financially stable I'll buy myself a
pair from him and no honey I was never not once broke
but I just didn't want to use Mr Dad’s money.
There's a card at the bottom.
“You talk the talk which is how I believe you'd make a
good therapist and with no doubt you'll walk the walk in
these red bottoms.
Well done MaMusa.
Love A”
This is very sweet of him.
MaGumede:”What does it say?”
Me:”Erhh he…”
“Everybody gather around please!”Mr Dad says clicking
his glass.
Saved by the click!
We all turn our attention to him and he asks me to come
forward.
Mr Dad:”Everyone this is my daughter Pamella Musa;Dr
Musa to you.”he presses and everyone laughs.
I spot Kwanda amongst everyone and she winks at
[Link] everyone else got the memo for this
celebration except me!
He goes on to give a whole speech about how proud he is
of me and how he always knew that I'd make it because
for one I have him for a Dad -this man!He is right though
he's an amazing parent him and Mrs Mom and
Ma’Dlamini.
Mr Dad:”And now the last of things to dent my account
by you…from me and your mom,well done MaMusa
omuhle I’m proud of you.”he says dangling car keys in
the air.
I shouldn't really be surprised because this is tradition
whenever one of us graduates they get gifted a car,Noma
and Sbo got one when they did and now it's my turn!
I guess I'm only taken back because I'll now own two cars
at once!
Mr Dad takes my hand and places the keys.
Him:”It's in the garage.”I mouth thank you to him and
mom and then make a run for the garage.
It's a black Jeep Wrangler!!!My dream car.
I scream at the top of my lungs jumping up and down.
Me:”You're awesome!”I say and throw my hand on Dad's
shoulder only but for a second.
I unlock the car and jump [Link] boy this baby is so
beautiful the interior is amazing and the smell of a new
car!Oh my.
I'm sorry Gitty.
Me:”Can this day get any better?!”I ask excitedly.
Noma:”Oh but it does.”I widen my eyes.
Nothing can top my Jeep!
Mr Dad:”You still have to make a wish.”
Oh dear;we have our own little Make A Wish Foundation
in this household and when we're celebrating someone
that one person gets to make a wish and we as a family
would gather our heads and get them what they [Link]
course you'd have to be realistic in what you wish for
unlike me who has wanted a unicorn.
Me:”I have everything I could ever wish for and more!”
Ma’Dlamini:”I'd like to dispute that.”why did I ever teach
this woman English?!
Noma:”Nkosi you can come out.”
Nkosi?What?
Double what?King is here,what's he doing here?
Mrs Mom:”You've been granted full guardianship of
Nkosi,you'll get to take care of him and put him back to
school like you wished.”I can't believe they did this for
me,I just mentioned it in passing that I want to take him
out of the centre instead of him going to a foster home.I
wasn't aware they were really listening.
Nkosi:”Hey mom.”
Me:”That’s Dr Mom to you.”I say and smack the back of
his head.
It's okay keep cutting those onions guys!These are tears
of [Link] life is complete at this moment.
Dr Musa will be with you just now,right at this moment
she needs to party and celebrate!
Chapter 12
Me:”Hey baby.”I say and we give each other cheek kisses
before taking our seats.
Her:”Here lover.”she says handing me iced coffee.
Me:”Ahh you're a God sent thank you.”I say and take a
long sip.
Her:”You look like you need it.”
Me:”Not now devil.”
I’m out having lunch with Bongi and if you were
wondering no honey I didn't go back to the house to
Africa although I did call him to come join us as we'd
moved the party to the club when Mr Dad put us out the
[Link] refused and said I should go have fun.
Me:”I didn't see you at the house this morning.”
Her:”Yeah me and Hubs went back to the hotel.”
Me:”Why book a hotel when there's so much room in the
house?”
Her:”I'm not too sure the walls in that house are sound
proofed.”she winks at me.
Me:”Now that you mention it,I'm not so sure also.”I say
and we giggle.
Her:”Yeah and me and Dante really go at it like rabbits.”I
gasp and laugh not that it's funny but because I can't
relate.
I've only had like 2 sex partners;Sam and [Link] Sam
I thought I was having the best sex because I had nothing
else to compare it with and even now it remains to be
the best sex because we both know Africa isn't exactly a
sex god.
Me:”So when are you and Hubs tying the knot?”
Her:”We want to have a long engagement like for a year
or two.”
Me:”Why?”
Her:”We want to be sure it's what we want and we also
want to be more established in the relationship we've
only been together for 9 months and it is with no doubts
that we want to be married to each other but we want to
grow into it.”
Me:”So nine months huh?And I'm only finding out now?”
Her:”That's because we'd been on and off for the most of
it.”
Me:”And you don't think the engagement also will be on
and off if you leave it for….”she puts her hand up.
Her:”Can I please just hang out with my sister and not
the doctor?”I roll my eyes at her.
Me:”Ok I'll leave it for now.”
Her:”This is why I didn't tell you,I didn't want you
scrutinizing my relationship.”
Me:”Yeah yeah whatever.”
I sip on my coffee but when I set my cup down I see
someone familiar.
Me:”And lucky for you I've just seen someone I'd been
meaning to talk to.”
Her:”Who?”
Me:”Ok so how do I look?”I say taking off my big
sunglasses and shifting my silky headscarf in place.
Her:”Erhh you look awake [Link]?”isn't she listening
to me?
Me:”I see someone I need to go talk to,he's right behind
us don't look.”you bet she looked.
Her:”And who's he?”
Me:”Mr Dad’s associates’ son,let me go over there and
greet I'll be a minute.”I get up and walk over to
Anthony's table.
He is busy on his phone but quickly gets up,I think he's
seen me or maybe he's leaving but I see a beautiful
brown skinned lady with a slim figure make her way to
his [Link] kisses him on the cheek and he pulls a chair
for her.
Just as I'm about to turn on my heels he sees me and his
lips twitch into a smile,I have no choice now but to make
the whole trip.
I walk over all the way and stand beside their table.
Him:”MaMusa?”
Me:”Hi Anthony,how are you?”I said directing that to
both he and the lady he is sitting with.
Him:”I'm good erhm this is Pearl and Pearl this is
Pamella.”
Her:”Nice to meet you Pamella,you can call me the black
pearl Ants here also does.”she bats her eyelashes and
flashes a beautiful smile with her hand out.I shake it.
Me:”I'm just Pamella thank you.I'm sorry to interrupt
your lunch I just wanted to say thank you to Anthony for
the shoes.”I say towards him smiling.
Him:”It's all a pleasure I'm glad you like them.”he nods.
Her:”What shoes?”
I don't know if I should answer or let Anthony answer
because right now the black pearl is shining with beads of
sweat on her nose.
Him:”It was a gift for her.”he says coolly.
Her:”What gift?”
Me:”I really should leave and once again sorry for
interrupting your lunch.”I turn to leave but Pearl tells me
to back up.
Her:”So Anthony you buy random girls shoes and they
get so big headed they come and flaunt all that in my
face?Your girlfriend?”she drops her voice but you can't
miss the rage in her words.
Uh-oh.I shouldn't have come over to their table.I steal a
quick glance at Anthony to see if he's mad at me or what
but his face is just blank.
Me:”Oh my God I'm so sorry I wasn't aware you're his
girlfriend or that he even has [Link] he has said I'm
Pamella Musa daughter to his father's associate and you
must be the fiancé.”I try to cool the situation.
She looks at me dumbfounded.
Her:”Yeah I'm his fiancé in progress.”ok what's that?
Before I could probe any further Antonella came to the
table.
Antonella:”How are the two love birds
doing?...Pamella?”I just nodded and excused myself.
I heard Anthony excuse himself also saying he has to rush
to a meeting somewhere.
I had barely sat in my chair when he came towards me
and placed a piece of paper on the table.
“Meet me outside in a few.”the note read.
Bongi:”And then?”I just shrugged and counted about
3mins before I rose up also and went outside.
I saw him leaning on my new car with his legs crossed
and hands in his pockets,he looks so good with that
scruffy minimal facial hair I just want to run my fingers
across it just to get a feel of it.
Me:”Again I just want to say I'm really sorry.”I start to
apologize as soon as I get to him,he puts up his hand to
silence me.
Him:”I should be apologizing to you.”
Me:”Oh?”
Him:”Yeah I should have told you about me and Pearl.”
Yeah he should have before inviting me to his house for
dinner and shoving his tongue down my throat!
Me:”Oh you don't owe me an explanation,your
relationships don't concern me really.”
Him:”So you liked the shoes?”
Me:”Yes very much thank you but I think your fiancé
would appreciate them more.”
I have plans on giving them back I was already going to
buy myself a pair sooner than later.
Him:”You don't have to give them back I bought them
specifically for you.”he says as if he'd read my mind.
Me:”Oh no I just don't want to cause you any trouble.”
Him:”She's not my fiancé,I told you I'm in a long distance
relationship with my fiancé.”
Me:”So you're cheating on her?”the question falls out my
lips.
Him:”No but I've been cheated off my time with her.”
Me:”How so?”I'd love to hear this.
Him:”I don't want to confuse you so let's leave it at
that.”I frown,he smiles.
Me:”Well okay I hope you and her can work things out.”
Him:”Yes one can only hope.”he says with a hint of
sadness in his voice.
I can't stand seeing him like this I feel this urge to make
him feel better so involuntarily my hand reaches out for
his face and cups it.
Ok maybe it wasn't involuntarily because I'd been
meaning to feel his thin beard.
He looks down on me and smiles holding on to my hand
on his face.
Me:”You should shave.”I say breaking the silence.
Him:”You don't like my beard?”I shake my head.
Me:”No I like your smooth face.”I say tracing his chiselled
jaw.
Him:”And I like you.”he kisses my palm.
Me:”I don't think you should be saying such.”I'm
anything but a home wrecker.
I take my hand away and he pulls me by arm to him,I
land on his broad chest.
Him:”I could say worse.”he says nuzzling my nose and
draws in a long breath.
We have our foreheads touching with my hands on his
chest and his around my waist.
“Oh I'll be damned!.”a voice shouts startling us.
We see Pearl shout from the entrance of the restaurant
then she starts out towards us.
We tear from each other.
Her:”Really Ants you left me in there to be out here with
this….hoe?”she looks at me up and down with disgust.
Him:”Pearl don't do this.”the temperature in his voice
drops and is suddenly cold.
Her:”YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND WHAT I
WON'T DO IS SIT THERE AND WATCH HER SINK HER
CLAWS INTO YOU THROUGH THAT GLASS.”oh she's not
the only one watching now all the other customers are
now on looking.
I don't know why me and him thought it was just us two
out here but it sure felt like [Link] him it feels as though
nobody else exists not even my own boyfriend Africa!
It then hits me that I'm out here being unfaithful to him
while he's been trying by all means to mend things
between us and I had gave my word to him that I'll make
whatever little time he has left memorable and this is not
the way to go!
Me:”Sisi there's been a misunderstanding…”
Her:”Why is she still talking?”she asks cutting me off.
OK this is the part I'll just about lose my cool because she
called me big headed I let that slide then she called me a
hoe that too I let slide and now she's just ice skating and
it's a downward slope of disrespect.
Me:”Erhmm listen black mambazo or whatever your
name is you don't want to mess with me because I'm the
girl that can make you go from girlfriend to a non-factor
just like that.”I said snapping my fingers.
Her:”And who are you his mom?”
Me:”No I'm the mom's favourite so look both ways
before you cross [Link] let’s go”
She comes and we get inside the car,I roll down my
window when Anthony lightly knocks on it.
Him:”I'm sorry about all this,I'll call you.”
Me:”I’d much appreciate it if you didn't .”I say and drive
off.
Her:”And what was that all about?”
Me:”I don't know Bongi but you did well by getting a
dude outside Mzansi because local isn't exactly lekker”
Her:”Oh but honey it rains everywhere.”
Me:”So shitty dudes are out here like mtn…”
Together:”Yup everywhere you go.”we say and laugh.
We go buy donuts and I drop her off back at the hotel
and then go home;back at Africa's.

Him:”All I'm saying babe is one visit won't hurt.”he says

standing at the door to the toilet.
I'm on the floor and just finished throwing up.
Me:”Help me up please.”I stretch my hand out to him.
Him:”So you'll just brush me off like you've been doing
the past 3 days?”
Me:”Please Mangethe I don't feel too good.”I walk over
to the sink and rinse my mouth.
Him:”You're telling me?honey I've watched you struggle
to keep your food down without having to run to the
bathroom and you've been burning up.”
Me:”And I'll keep telling you that I'm fine it's nothing but
a stomach bug.”I smile to get him off my case.
Him:”ORRR a bun!”
He insists that I'm pregnant and I've BEEN telling him that
I'm not but what I will have you know is that I am
[Link] the day before I got my results me and
him had been intimate without a rubber and the
following day I forgot to take the morning after pill.I was
so busy celebrating my life and wasn't aware that I had
left a window open for a whole other life to possibly
form inside me.
Me:”Please Africa I'm the doctor here.”oh how I love
throwing the Dr card around.
Him:”I understand but just one visit,I'll set up the
appointment.”he actually pleads and I know he won't let
this go.
Me:”Ok book it for tomorrow morning you know I have a
spa date with Mrs Mom and the girls.”
Yeah me and Mrs Mom with Noma and Bongi are going
on an all expenses paid by Mr Dad spa date he's just
trying to bribe us to be honest.
The following day after our spa date is Christmas and this
year we won't have a family dinner like always because
Mr Dad is being honoured for something in his politics
field so instead there'll be a full on black tie event rather
than just family.
Today though I'm taking King out to do a little shopping
because he'll attend as my plus one since Dad doesn't
want Africa near him nor his house.
Speaking of King he didn't want to move in with me and
Africa so he's staying back at Mr Dad’s and I have already
enrolled him into an all boys high school for next year.
I'm like a mom on a sugar rush!these are MaDlamini’s
words.
I've bought the uniform and stationery and all the
necessities for his new school including the cricket,rugby
and soccer kits don't give me that look.
Him:”And you're going where dressed like that?”
I'm dressed in my short denim shorts with a tank top and
flip flops and I've let my hair down in my afro.
Me:”Africa,it's hot as hell outside please give me a
break.”
Him:”I was just asking,so we have the appointment set
up for 9am tomorrow.”he says handing me my handbag.
Me:”Thank you and that's fine by me for now I have to
go,love you mncwahh.”I kiss him on the cheek and head
out.
I make the trip over to Mr Dad’s in record time because I
was already late and King was getting restless he's acting
like a baby now.
I get him and then we head to the [Link] we get
there I drag him to every shop in search of the perfect
tux I want for it to be a perfect/slim fit because I'll also
be wearing a body hugging dress so as my partner I can't
have him wearing a saggy suit.
I also wanted to get crowns for us so we can pull up like a
true King and Queen but he slapped that idea down so
quick I wanted to cry.
Me:”Eeew this tastes so awful.”I say as soon as I take a
bite of my favourite beef burger and spit it out just as
quick.
It's so sour.
Me:”Let me taste yours.”
King just frowns.
Him:”You've been sneaking my fries this whole meal and
now you want a bite of my burger what's wrong with
yours?”he eyes me suspiciously.
I gasp and he almost laughs;this whole time I was under
the impression that he hadn't seen me when I had been
sneaking his fries because he was so glued to his phone.
Me:”It tastes funny,let's do a double test then you taste
mine and I taste yours?”I ask pouting.
He just pushes his plate forward and takes [Link]
doesn't say no to me at most times.
I don't even get to chew the thing the taste is just
revolting.
Me:”Jesus this tastes horrible.”I spit on the serviette.
Him:”What's wrong with you?”he says in a tone that
screams “you're being weird dude”
Me:”No what's wrong with these people selling us stale
food!Where's the managers?!”I raise my voice and
furiously wave down a waiter.
King just puts my hand down.
Him:”There is nothing wrong with this food.”
Me:”Stop eating that,throw it away!”I command.
He just looks at me like I've grown a second head.
Him:”There is absolutely nothing wrong with this
food.”he says all chilled making my blood warm up a
notch.
Me:”King you listen to me and put that away.I don't care
if you feel like there's nothing wrong with it,I'M telling
you something's wrong with it.I'M your mom and MOM
KNOWS BEST!”he chuckles lightly.
Him:”Guardian bruh,you're my legal guardian.”he says
and continues eating his burger.
I feel hot tears stinging my [Link]'s what he thinks of
me?That's all I am to him?Just a guardian?
Just then a waiter makes his way towards our
[Link] damn time!I want to settle this damned bill
and get out of here.
Waiter:”Do we have a problem here ma’am?”
Me:”No can I have the bill please?”I manoeuvre through
the lump in my throat.
The waiter just nods and goes to fetch the bill.
Nkosi just sits across me and stuffs his [Link] bill
comes back and I give the waiter a fat tip and also leave
some notes on the table for Nkosi to take a cab back
home.
I then take my bags and stroll out the restaurant with
him at my heels.
Him:”Hey hey hey…where are you going?”he says
grabbing my arm and I snatch it away.
Me:”Get away from me!”I bark with tears already at the
brink of falling.
Him:”Were you really planning on leaving me behind?”
Me:”Did you want me to carry you on my back and take
you with?”he stifles a laugh he must think this is a joke.
Him:”Not really but I expected you to take me with,I
mean I did come here with you.”
Me:”Tough luck buddy I'm not your mother,I'm just only
responsible for you.”I say and his face immediately drops
to the floor and I see a pang of sadness wash over his
face.
Him:”Oh”he says and hangs his head.
Me and my big mouth!I didn't mean to say that.I know
how hard losing his mom hit him but damnit he just
made me feel like I mean nothing to him other than just
being his “legal” guardian and don't get me wrong I have
no intentions of replacing his mom or filling in for her I
mean that is a mighty void to try to fill but I just want to
give him that motherly love you know…
Me:”King…I'm so sorry.I didn't mean to…”I try to touch
him but he pulls his hand away.
Him:”You were already planning to leave me so…go.”he
says and makes his way back into the restaurant.
I'm now left stranded outside looking in,torn between
leaving or getting back inside and trying to talk to him.
And in true Pamella style I turn and walk away
comforting myself with the fact that I left more than
enough money to get him back home and even have
seconds if he wanted to.
I really genuinely care for Nkosi and want for him to have
the best life can offer since I can't give him what life took
away from him.
I walk to my car throw the shopping bags in the backseat
and just bawl!When I have calmed down I collect myself
and drive away.
I get home and ask Africa to collect the bags for me from
the car I go straight up to the room I had been using
when I first came back here.
Him:”Are you okay?”he says looking around the room.
I had moved into the master/main bedroom but right
now I just need some time alone.
Me:”Yes…no.I just need to lie down and I'll be okay.”
Him:”Okay it's a good thing we're seeing the doctor
tomorrow.”
Me:”Yeah please just wake me up in the afternoon so I
can prepare dinner.”
He nods and leaves the room but only after giving me a
gentle peck on the lips.
I throw myself on the bed and laying facing up the tears
just fall on either side of my face.
I shouldn't have spoke to King like that,I should have
been more like his mom…oh there I go again getting
carried away…I'm only but his guardian…
I don't know when I fell asleep in between beating myself
up and trying to tap out of my motherly senses did I fall
asleep but when I wake up it's dark in the room.
That damned Africa! Did I not tell him to wake me
up?Look now my tummy is rumbling and I am hungry!
I switch on the side lamp and see that I'm now under the
covers when I had slept on top of them.
Awww he tucked me in.I start getting emotional thinking
of how I slept comfortably in a bed while I have no idea
where King might [Link] he even make it back home?
God I'm such a horrible mo…guardian.I should guard his
life and I did the opposite.
I take my purse and retrieve my phone from it then I
start dialling his number…you bet he didn't pick up.
Me:”Uhmm Dad?”I say after we had exchanged hellos
and how are yous’.
Him:”Yes Doc.”this man!
Me:”Are you home?”
Him:”Not as yet why?”
Me:”I can't get hold of Nkosi.”
Him:”He's back at the house you know Ma’Dlamini had
to talk him out of leaving when he was on some “I don't
belong here”tip.”he says this in an asking tone.
Me:”It's all my fault pa I let my emotions overpower my
judgement and then…listen dad…I'll call you back.”
Him:”Pamella wait…”tu tu tu the line went dead as I cut
him off.
I quickly phone Ma’Dlamini and she picks up
immediately.
Her:”I've been waiting for your call.”
Me:”Mah…”
Her:”Not this time Pamella.”she says cutting me off
before I could explain.
I almost want to cry but I can't not until I've spoken to
King.
Me:”Can I at least talk to him Mah?”it's a plea more than
a question really.
I hear shuffling sounds and then there's a pause and then
a sigh [Link] no he doesn't want to talk to me.
Him:”Sis Pamella?”his bass rich voice startles me.
Me:”My King?...God I'm so sorry.”
Him:”I know,I'm sorry too.”
Me:”You don't understand none of that should have
happened.”
Him:”You're everything to me,you're more than a
guardian…dr mom.”did he just call me mom?I'm not
crying you are!
Me:”And I'll do just about anything and every thing for
you just you say the word.”I say my heart doing jumping
jacks.
Him:”You ruined our date so you owe me a date.”
Me:”Dude I wasn't about to eat stale food AND we still
have a date for Mr Dad’s prestigious event soooooo….”
Him:”There was nothing wrong with the food man you're
craz…”
Me:”I dare you to say that and I'll take back these
Jordans before you say crazy.”
Him:”Ok,[Link] are...charismatic yeah that's what I
wanted to say.”we both laugh and by the end of the
phone call all’s well.
The Queen and King’s palace is back in order!
I then go back downstairs to find that dinner’s been
prepared and my food is in the warmer.
I quickly made a grab for my food then went to join
Africa on the couch to watch Major Crimes with him and
when that was finished he ran me a bath and we slept
together not on a literal note we're still afraid there
might a baby inside there so NO! No touchy feely here.
The next day I'm woken up by Africa at 7am even though
the appointment is only just at 9am!
He's already ran me a bath so I'm less mad I jump in and
out the shower and pull on my beige shirt dress with
sandals and comb my hair.I'll be getting a weave sewed
on this afternoon.
I head downstairs and grab just an orange for breakfast,I
couldn't stand the smell of Africa’s beef banger sausages
actually the word beef makes me cringe!
I just wait for him in the lounge watching Tv until he says
it's time to go.
We take his car and get to the doctor's office a whole
40mins early and then we just sit there until I get restless
and threaten to walk out if we don't see the doctor in the
next minute and Africa tries to calm me down.
Eventually after eons we get called up to see the doctor.
Dr:”Mr Zwane,how are you?”the doctor looks from Africa
to me.
Africa just answers for the both of us I'm too mad.
Him:”We're great [Link] and how are you?”I
almost laugh at the doctor's last name and all this talk
about Kentucky makes me hungry for some fried
chicken!
The doctor then goes on to ask why we've called in to his
office.
“To wish you a happy Christmas eve,what else?”I ask in
my head and roll my eyes.I really am hungry.
You already know Africa did all the talking and the way
he sounded it was like I'm already pregnant and we're
just here to confirm like this is a to-do list and we're just
checking off stuff.
Get Pamella pregnant?...check! SMH…
I was just nodding when the doctor asked “is this
accurate?” so he handed me something that looked like a
cup to go pee in.
I did that and came back with and tested [Link] say
I was relieved!
Just as I was doing a victory lap the not so good doctor
burst my bubble and told me that there's something
unclear about the results so he'll run more intense and
reliable tests and asked if we didn't mind waiting.
You bet this wanna be father next to me said we can wait
and I was mad because I was hungry AND had a spa
date.I had to text the girls in the group chat and tell them
I'll be a little late,I'm at the doctor's office.
They asked if I was okay and if they should rather come
with me I assured them it's nothing and would fill them
in when I get there.
And so blood was drawn from me for more tests and that
really really left me distraught and hungry so Africa had
to step out and get me some food.
I just about strangled him when he came back with a
STALE KING STEER BURGER!Then he had the nerve to tell
me that the food is okay so what?My taste buds are
faulty?I told him to get me some hot fried chicken.
He came after a while and a stretch of a while later the
doctor came back.I was in a better mood then because I
had eaten.
Dr:”Mrs Zwane...”he started.
Me:”Oh Dr Musa please.”he wriggles his brow at me.
Dr:”Erhh Dr Musa…you show all the signs which are that
of a pregnant woman but..”
Me:”But?”by this time I had leaned in all the way on my
chair but the doctor just threw me a “would you shush”
look.
I mouthed sorry then he resumed.
Dr:”But it's just a case of pseudoscyesis.”he said and left
it at that.
Where's the layman version of it?
Me:”Psy what now?”
What Gangnam style bull is this doctor telling me!
Dr:”Ah yes pseudoscyesis also known as phantom
pregnancy;is the appearance of clinical and subclinical
signs associated with pregnancy when the person is
actually not pregnant…”
Me:”Doctor am I pregnant or not?”
Africa:”Pamella can you PLEASE give the man a chance to
get a word in?Damn.”the doctor nods in a “thank you”.
Are they ganging up on a supposedly pregnant
woman?Have they no shame?!
Dr:”As I was saying…the false pregnancy is sometimes
purely psychological and is generally believed to be
caused by changes in the endocrine system of the body
leading to the secretion of hormones that cause physical
changes that are similar to that of a pregnancy.”
Me:”So I am not pregnant?”that's all I came here to find
out and now I've lost out on an hour of pampering at the
spa.
Dr:”You have the natural signs of a pregnant woman,the
mood changes,the morning [Link] be diagnosed as
true pseudoscyesis the woman must actually believe that
she is pregnant.”this is absurd!I raise up my hand to
speak and I could swear I saw the Dr roll his eyes before
giving me the go ahead to speak.
Me:”Can I just say that I am a doctor also…doctor of the
mind at that so there is no way I would psyche myself up
for/with a pregnancy that isn't there.”I say matter-of-
fact!
Dr:”So you don't think about being pregnant?”
Me:”Not at all but I do however think that I am a
mom.”the doctor just looked at me like I'd grown a
rainbow horn.
Dr:”You believe you're a mom?”
Me:”Yes I am a mother to a 18yr old,I'm his legal
guardian if you want to get technical.”
Dr:”Well that would explain it.”
Me:”Ok so what now?Will my stomach bulge for a whole
9 months?”I ask [Link] is how Mary must have felt
when she got pregnant by the Holy Spirit except she gave
birth to an actual baby!
I can't be walking around carrying air for a whole 9
months nogal!
Me:”Is there any cure?”
Dr:”No and [Link] will not have a bulging stomach for a
whole 9 months and there isn't any treatment for
[Link] some cases however,the patient may
be given medication for such symptoms as the cessation
of [Link] some patients with pseudoscyesis
have underlying psychological issues they should be
referred to a psychotherapist and have this treated.”
Me:”I don't need a psychotherapist but I'll take the
meds.”he nodded.
Africa was suddenly just [Link] was concluded that this
was just a false alarm and I was mighty glad.
The doctor wrote me a prescription we thanked him and
went to collect the meds out front.
The mood inside the car was just sour,Africa was far
away in thoughts but he did drive me to the spa and
promised to come pick me up after but I'll get Mrs Mom
to drop me off.

Me:”If I didn't know better I'd say that man wants to

knock me up.”I say when I've taken my place on one of
the beach chairs by the pool.
We have face masks on and are getting foot massages.
Bongi:”Why do you say that?”
Me:”Because when the doctor said I wasn't pregnant he
looked crush as if he'd lost one of his big cases which
hardly ever happens so you can imagine how
disappointed he was for something to not go his way this
once.”
Noma:”I've always said that man has a loose screw.”
Me:”Noma please…”
Mrs Mom:”I don't know this Africa person personally but
I've heard an awful lot about him and by the sound of
things you shouldn't have a baby by him that will give
him one more person to try to kill.”
Noma:”Yeah he's already almost killed himself and you
so..”
Bongi:”Third time might not be much of charm.”
Me:”Oh please.”I say and we all laugh then there's
silence.
Bongi:”What's that crunching sound?”
Masseuse:”Erhm ma’am you're not supposed to eat
that.”she says taking away the half eaten cucumber in
my hand.
Now everyone has turned their attention to me.
Noma:”Pamella you pig!”
Me:”What?they just smelt so good and I didn't know you
don't eat these.I'm just so hungry I could just eat about
anything.”I say washing my mouth with the champagne.
Bongi:”Forgive her you guys she's eating for two.”she
says and they all break out in laughter.
Me:”Supposedly!...I'm supposedly eating for two.”I
mumble and my stomach growls.
The day plays out very well,we get our nails done and our
hair then I call Africa to take me home no actually he
called asking when I'm coming back home so I just told
him to come pick me up since I'm done.
And like before no one says anything to the other
throughout the whole trip back home but as soon as we
got inside the house he asked me if I had been drinking
and I had but I just said no.
What kind of a stupid question is that?He can see me
carrying wine bottles which are for the ladies tomorrow
when they come in over to the house to get dressed up
for the event.
He mumbled something under his breath but I couldn't
care less because I was actually tired.

The next morning I woke up with a start,I called all my

family and wished them a Merry Christmas and also
wished Africa the same.I gave him his gift that I had
bought on the day I went shopping with King.
He was going to celebrate the day with his dad since he
can't go with me.
He got me a designer dress and it was in my favourite
colour;black.I couldn't wear it tonight though because I
was already going to wear a maroon velvet backless
dress with spaghetti straps and a thigh high slight with
black red bottoms.
I got up from the bed and went to take a shower then
went to have breakfast.
The day went about fine and was all merry then Mrs
Mom arrived together with our glam squad to do our
face and hair.
A short while after Danté dropped off his fiancé Bongi
and Noma got in at her heels.
I introduced them to Africa and then he disappeared
somewhere in the house.
I told the glam squad to go set up at in one of the rooms
and while they were at it I prepared drinks.
We went up to the room and as the “lady of the house” I
had to play host so I was going to be made up last.
While I was busy making my endless trips downstairs to
get another bottle of [Link] popped his head from
the main bedroom and asked to talk to me.
Me:”What can I help you with?”
Him:”What is wrong with you?”
Me:”I don't understand.”
Him:”If I didn't know better I'd say you don't want a baby
with me.”
Me:”Whoa back up a bit,where’s all this coming from?”
Him:”You looked so relieved when the doctor said you
weren't pregnant…”
Me:”As I [Link] I have a career to pursue and I've
just gotten a chance to do just that and I won't blow it
for a baby.”plus I have two big babies [Link] and
King.
Him:”I get that…but will you ever consider having a little
me?”
Me:”Yes just not now.”he scoffs.
Him:”Last night you came home drunk and today also
you're drinking at this rate you're killing any chance we
have to conceive in the near future.”
Ok that's it!
Me:”And you'd know an awful lot about killing right?Now
look we have guests here so please I can't entertain them
and also be on suicide watch…excuse me.”I click my
tongue and go make the last trip to get a bottle.
I hate the person I'm becoming with him I've stooped to
his level where I hit people with their lowest points and
that's not good!Maybe I should move out.
Yes that's it I'll get my own place and King can move in
with me.
From now on whomever wants a drink can get it
themselves I need to dress up and be out this house!
We get made up and I opt for minimal make up for a
more natural look.I just straightened my weave and
parted it in the middle.
I slipped into the dress and shoes and completed the
look with my diamond neck piece together with the
matching earrings.
Around 6pm our ride arrives and no it's not a cab but a
Limo.
We find King,Danté and Noma’s consistent dick
appointment Thabang;apparently they HAVE BEEN
waiting for us to finish getting dressed up.
There's also a chilled bottle of champagne so we're
having that and jolly [Link]'re all just merry.
Mom rides in the front with the chauffeur and us with
our dates in the back.
We finally get to the venue and there's already people
making their way in,there's a red carpet rolled out and
also local press.
We step out the car hand in hand with King and stop for
a few pictures before making our way in.
We get inside and are shown our designated [Link]'s
right in front because we're family to the “man of the
moment”.
It seems like Dad got the whole family out here.
Me:”Gogo!”I almost scream and I half run towards her
and throw myself on her.
Her:”Ahh Mzukulu asisakwaz(my grand daughter it's
been a while).You don't love me anymore.”aww gogo it's
too early in the night for guilt tripping.
Me:”I do love you,very much.”I kiss her on her cheek.
Her:”Your father tells me you've been seeing boys.”she
says in an accusatory tone wiggling her finger in my face.
Me:”Yes gogo and he's made sure that I'm only seeing
them and not dating them.”
Her:”Oh sweetheart you know he only wants what's best
for you.”I just nod.
My eyes scan the room and land on Anthony Gumede
right by the entrance making his way in.
He has his black mambazo around his arm.I can't believe
he brought her with!
He then starts making his way towards [Link] God I'll
need a drink for this and I quickly snatch one from a
passing waiter.
Grandma eyes me suspiciously and I just give her a
pressed smile.
Her:”Haven't you had one of those already?”sure I had
had a few drinks during the day and a glass or two in the
limo but I'm sure I'm not reeking of alcohol.
I kept taking a glass of water in between so that I don't
get drunk too quickly.
Anthony finally makes it to our table.
Him:”MaMusa.”I keep quite because I'm thinking he's
referring to my grandma she is a MaMusa after all.
He then repeats himself and says.
Him:”Good evening ladies.”
Me:”Gumede”I say and nod.
Him:”You look good as always.”
Me:”You're nothing short of that yourself.”I say honestly
or maybe it's the alcohol talking?
Grandma clears her throat.
Her:”Pamella?Aren't you going to introduce me to this
fine young man?”
Me:”Oh my apologies [Link] this is my
grandmother Precious Musa...”
Him:”MaMusa.”he bows.
They exchange handshakes and he kisses her hand also.
Me:”And gogo this is Anthony Gumede;one of the boys
I've been seeing.”I say and throw back what's left of my
drink.
Anthony just frowns at me and before he could say
anything his black mambazo came and got him from our
table.
I open one of the sparkling water bottles on the table
and pour it in a glass then I hear grandma say,
Her:”Hmm he would have made a good
mkhwenyana(husband) for you.”I just laugh at her.
Only if she knew that we're already husband and wife by
association.
The place fills up and even the mayor is here but Dad is
nowhere to be seen.I'm not complaining though because
we're having a great time at the Musa table catching up.
The MC then calls for our attention and then thanks
everyone in attendance and calls up the mayor to the
stage.
I also see Mr Dad make his way down,he looks so good.
Me:”Whoo-hooo!!”I scream and clap cheerfully then
everyone turns their attention to me looking at me like I
grew a third eye.I must mention I've had one too many.
Mr Dad just shakes his head and smiles at me.
So what I thought was a celebratory event turns out to
be an inauguration.
Yes Mr Dad was inaugurated the city's council.
We all stood up as his family and applauded/cheered for
him.
Him:”I would like to thank all for believing in me and
putting the city's well-being in my hands.I'd also like to
give a special thanks to my family and last but not least
I'd like to thank the woman behind the great man that I
am;Tiffany Bloom.”he says shutting the hall down.
We all turned our backs to where he was looking and was
met by an impeccable,gorgeous looking white woman
strutting towards the stage.
She walks up and he takes her hand and they stand on
stage in [Link] face is shining with happiness.
Him:”Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the future
Mrs Musa.”he lifts up her left hand for all to see the ring
on her finger.
By this time I was sobered up completely and I get
confused also when I see mom clapping for this
nonsense.I wait for all this buzz to die down and then I
walk over to Dad and his little wife.
Me:”Congratulations on your
award/inauguration/ENGAGEMENT.”I say sarcastically.
Mrs Mom:”Pamella!”she says in a warning tone.
Me:”No [Link] has no respect for [Link] dare he
has you and his…”
I stop and weigh the blonde standing next to Dad looking
out of place.
Me:”…and her in the same room?”
Mrs Mom:”It's okay honey.”
Me:”You're okay with this?”
Mrs Mom:”Your father and I spoke about [Link] is
perfect for him.”
Oh so they're on nickname basis now?
Me:”You knew about this?”I ask in [Link] nods.
Defeated I furiously walk away and leave them with their
tri-lationship and wave down another drink but Anthony
“The Pest” Gumede cuts me off and turns the waiter
away.
I just throw my hands in the air in [Link]
follows me.
Me:”What is wrong with your father?”I ask as soon as I
get to Noma and Sbo.
Noma:”He's losing it if you ask me.”
Sbo:”Come on let the man [Link]'s been separated from
mom for a decade.”Noma and I gasp.
Anthony lightly chuckles besides me and I am reminded
just how annoying he is!
My this is going to be a long night,I think to myself as I
snatch away Noma’s drink and empty it into my throat.
Chapter 13
Me:”Aww”I groan at the back of my throat as my head
threatens to slip into two with pain.
I stretch and reach beside me.
My eyes quickly shoot open as my hands land up on a
face.
Me:”Africa.”I say in a whisper but get no response.I turn
on my side.
I take one look and almost scream when I find Anthony
sleeping peacefully beside me.
There's a fortress of pillows in between us.I don't know
how I got here but I do remember that last night ended
on a bitter sweet note because of my hysteria and
remembering that I get embarrassed and quickly pull the
covers over my head.
It is then that I realize that I've changed out of my dress
and now wearing an oversized t-shirt with boxers.I pull
the covers down and look at Anthony and he's still sound
asleep.
I quickly scan the room and spot my dress perfectly laid
out on the dresser and my shoes right down next to it
and start plotting my escape plan.
As quietly as I can I get out of bed and tiptoe over to my
dress and pick it up together with the shoes.
Me:”Damnit.”I curse under my breath when I can't find
my purse.
How in the hell am I to get home.I think of going back to
bed but then remember that I don't need my phone
because I could easily just walk over to Dad's it's only just
two streets away.
I then proceed to the door and open it making sure to
not make any sounds.I take one final quick glance at the
beautiful pest peacefully sleeping with his lips pouted
and I want to go over and kiss him but I stop myself.
I wonder what happened here but I'm certain he did
nothing to me because there isn't any discomfort down
south.
I make my way downstairs and rush back up just as quick
when the alarm goes off when I tried opening the door.
So I half run back up the stairs,quietly open the door to
the bedroom and tiptoe in again.
Him:”Tried to leave without saying good bye?”his crisp
voice says startling me and I miss a step as I was trying to
get back in under the covers…
Thud!
Me:”Awww!”I cry as I kiss the floor.I hear him chuckle.
Why this beautiful bastard!
I stay on the floor and start crying and he rushes to my
side and crouches in front of me with a stupid grin on his
face.
Jesus he's so annoying!
Him:”Are you okay?”he asks getting up.
He puts his hand out to me and I just look at it.
Him:”Come on don't make me carry you up.”
In my mind I dare him to do so and like he's just read it
he sweeps me up from the floor and places me on the
bed.
Me:”What am I doing here?”I say as I shift back on the
bed as he has me locked with his arms on either side of
me.
Him:”A good morning handsome would've worked but
okay.”
I give him a bored look.
Him:”Okay okay,I had to take you home yesterday…”
Me:”This is not home.”
Him:”Yes but I couldn't let you leave in the state you
were in.”
I was in a state?
Me:”A state?”he looks down.
Him:”Eerhm..you had had a little too much to drink.”I roll
my eyes.
Oh my God can we not?!I am tired of the man in my life
telling me to either not drink or that I drink too much.
Not even my own father tells me what to or how much
not to drink!
Me:”Well thank you for being my Knight in…uhhh…no
shining armour but now I need to go.”I say no shining
armour because he is topless and confusing me!
Him:”What's the rush?”
Me:”I just need to [Link]!”
Him:”And I…need to talk to you.”he says catching me and
I hold on to his strong arms.
I hadn't realized that I had reached the edge of the bed
while I was still running away from [Link] what I
hadn't realized is that the top I was wearing had ridden
up all the way to my hip bone and left my thighs
exposed.
There was a moment of silence and then I cleared my
throat.
Me:”I thought we were…talking?”I said arching my
brow,he rolled his eyes at me.
Him:”Okay I wanted to apologize for the other day.”
Me:”The other day?”
I knew what he was on about but I wanted him to say it.
Him:”With Pearl.”
Now that we're talking about her,let's…
Me:”Where is the black mambazo?”I looked around the
room.
Him:”Ai Pamella play nice.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
Him:”Don't do that.”
Me:”Don't do what?”I asked inching my face closer to
him.
His eyes bore into mine but he couldn't hold the gaze for
long because his eyes ran to my exposed flesh.
He was looking down at me like a sticky and succulent
plate of ribs.I know this is a weird reference but he was
looking at me like how I look at [Link]!
I couldn't take it anymore so I traced my hands up along
his arms and encircled them around his neck.
Him:”Don't do…that.”
Me:”Ihmmn.”I couldn't even hear what he was saying.
I brought my face in closer to his and lightly brushed my
lips against his and I heard him make a little noise at the
back of his throat then I opened my eyes and looked at
him.
He wiggled his brow at me and I titled my neck to the
side he did the same also and then we brought our lips
together.
With my eyes closed I saw my subconscious waving a red
flag at me but I don't know if I was seeing red for stop or
no don't stop!
We shared such a sensual kiss for the longest time and I
felt his hands move on either side of me and then
cupped my butt bringing me closer to him.
I pulled back out of the kiss and slapped him.
Him:”Whoa what was that for?”he asked rubbing his
cheek.
It was to snap me out of this trance other than slapping
him if you ask [Link] shouldn't be doing this it's wrong!
Well my head is telling me it's the wrong thing to do but
my body!...my body is telling me I do not have to do
anything but let him do me.
Me:”I'm sorry.”
Him:”Do it again.”
Me:”Excuse me what?”I ask dumbfounded.
Him:”Slap me…again.”he dragged the last part in such a
seductive way.I went and slapped him again,he didn't
even flinch.
Me:”Again?”he smirked and nodded.
Is it weird that I'm enjoying this?
With all my might I slapped him again so much that he
faced the other way then with his signature slight smirk
he gave me this dark seductive look.
Him:”You hit like a girl.”
I gasped and when I attempted to slap him once more he
grabbed my arm.
Him:”You've had your fare share of hitting now let me hit
[Link] here”he pulled me to him and my breathing
caught as I bumped into his firm and masculine structure.
He crashed his lips on [Link] started kissing but with
more urgency this time.
With my arms around his neck and his tucked under my
butt he pulled me off the bed and stood up with me.I
wrapped my legs around his waist.
So now we were standing or rather he was standing
beside his bed kissing with our heavy breaths being the
only sounds in the [Link] lightly squeezed my butt and
I involuntarily moaned into his mouth then he pulled
back.
Me:”And you…you kiss like a boy.”I say out of breath,his
mouth hung.
I'm lying he is an amazing kisser.
Him:”Take that back.”I shake my head.
Me:”No.”
Him:”Pamella take that back.”
Me:”And if I don't?”mind you I still have my legs wrapped
around him and my arms around his neck.
His skin feels so good under my skin I just want to run my
fingers over every inch of him and ooooh these abs.I've
counted exactly six of his packs.
Him:”So you won't take that back?”
Me:”Make me.”
Him:”You don't say.”he says with that slight smirk of his
and throws me on the bed.
I giggle as I bounce on the bed and he gets in between
my legs.
He cups my face tenderly and gives me a wet kiss.I run
my hands through his back,did I mention how good his
skin feels under my fingertips…it’s so good and more
when he traces either side of my lower body on cue with
me until he gets the hem of his t-shirt and he slowly
slides it up my arms and put my hands up so it could be
easier for him.
He pulls the t-shirt off and steps back to look at me like
and he really looks at me like he's cramming my every
bend and every [Link] stares down at me intensely so
much that I start to feel uncomfortable and attempt to
pull the covers on me but he stops me.
Him:”Don't…you're beautiful.”
I flush.
Him:”God it took everything in me to not run my hands
over every inch of your body last night.”
Me:”Oh so erhm..we didn't…uhh…”
Him:”No you were passed out.I couldn't take advantage
of that Pamella.I like my women sentient and receptive.”
Did he just say women?...oh yeah he has a fiancé!
Which is why you shouldn't be doing this!!!,screams my
subconscious.
Me:”I bet you won the fight to keep your hands to
yourself I saw the pillows.”
Him:”No pillows or high wall would ever stand as a
barrier to what I feel for you,that penetrates through
everything.”
Me:”I-I feel the same way also,I mean…I am drawn to
you by something stronger than I can comprehend
but…but we're both seeing other people.”
This is lowkey not a train smash on my side because I
could easily drop Africa like a hot potato but he has a
whole freakin’ fiancé and I am not a home wrecker but
why does it feel…so right?!
Him:”I don't think you heard me there is absolutely NO
barrier that can stand in between you and I.”
Me:”Anthony…”he doesn't give me a chance to say
anything more he blocks my speech with his smooth
tongue.
I'm left in only my panties because I had no bra on with
the backless dress I wore yesterday and when Anthony
lowers himself down on me a familiar but still just as
exciting as the first time shock washes over my body and
I feel like we can't get close enough.I pull him to me and
it is then that I realize that he's still in his pyjama pants.
Me:”Lose those.”I say husky voice and all,he stifles a
chuckle.
Him:”Yes ma’am.”
He loses his pants but is still left in his underwear and I
roll my eyes.
Him:”Patience is virtue my lady.”
He claims my mouth once more and tenderly strokes my
tongue with his,he then cups my left breast into his hand
and my nipples harden in response to his soft touch and
he lightly pinches my nipple.
His lips descend to my neck and leave my lips pressed
together to suppress the little whimpers at the back of
my throat.
I swear this man's fingertips conduct heat because they
leave me feeling hot where he's touched and he is
touching all right!
After sucking on my neck he goes down to my twins and
while he rubs and tugs on the other,he is also licking and
biting on the [Link] about double pleasure!I am left
not knowing which sensation to focus on it's like I'm
losing my head which is so out of character for a whole
psychotherapist!
I keep dry humping him from beneath him while he trails
feather kisses all the way down to my belly button and
doesn't stop there…he goes down all the way
down…takes off my panties…further down…down
south…uh-oh!
Me:”Wait!”I sit up breathlessly.
Him:”What?”he asks husky voice and all.
I can't let him go down on me when I haven't even taken
a shower since last night!
Me:”I haven't…I'm not cleaned up.”I say and look down
flushed.
Him:”I've washed every inch of you with my tongue this
is a piece of cake.”he says giving me a mischievous smirk.
Me:”Well you can't have your cake and eat it.”
Him:”Watch me.”he says and gently pushes me back
down again.
Him:”Relax I know my way around down here.”
Did he just say that?!I attempt to sit back up but he holds
me down by the hips.
My clitoris twitches as his warm breath lightly hits it
when he's busy nuzzling my cookie.
He then uses his two fingers to part the folds making way
for his tongue to do a clean swab of my [Link]
flicks,licks,bites,slurps…did I mention lick?
I was shuddering under him then he inserted two of his
fingers and kept his thumb circulating my clitoris and
kept flicking his fingers inside me like I was variety of
channels.
I kept moaning and riding his fingers until he put my legs
up and has my ass and then his tongue finds it's way
inside me again and this time it goes deeper.
Me:”Ye’ Gods.”I whimper.
Him:”Come for me baby.”
He doesn't say!I ride his face with my movements less
coordinated as I am not far off.
Me:”Y-y-yes…shh”I say through my teeth as I feel a big
wave build up inside of me from my toes.
He flicks his finger once more and that is my undoing I
come crashing all over his face and I am left with my
whole body shaking and he licks me clean with my clitoris
twitching at the action.
He comes up to me and kisses me as I try to catch my
breath.
Him:”Hi.”he says when he pulls back.
Me:”Hi.”
Him:”So do you take them diced or?”
Me:”Not always sometimes I take a whole slice on the
go.”
Don't give me that look!I am a sucker for pineapples.
Him:”I can tell you taste amazing.”
I flush crimson red!!!
Me:”Ooh”I exclaim when he presses his erection on my
stomach and languidly pushes it into [Link]
rampage through my body once more.
Him:”Looks like someone else wants a taste.”
He steps back not breaking eye contact and takes off his
boxers and his erection springs out like it's on hydraulics.
Me:”Oh my.”I get a sharp intake of breath when I see it's
length.
He reaches for something on his bedside and comes back
with a foil pocket.A man who doesn't think with his head
but uses his actual brain…ooh I like!!!
He pulls on the condom on his considerable length and I
become all moist down there again when I see him run
his hands on his wand.
He catches me looking and looks at me with eyes
reflecting my fire and desire and knowing that he wants
me as much as I want him makes me feel hot.
He moves forward and parts my legs and then positions
[Link] pussy muscles clench when his dick lurks just
at the entrance.
I'm also wondering where he's going to fit all that and I
guess my pussy is just as confused.
He holds my waist and steadily slides in.
Me:”Ha…”I involuntarily arch my back and shoot up
[Link] stills,I can feel his veins popping inside of me.
He kisses me and asks…
Him:”Are you okay?”I nod vigorously and lay back down.
As if on cue he starts moving slowly as I lay back down
but then stops.
Him:”Don't do that baby…I won't last long.”he says his
voice faint.
I keep clenching on him as I take him in inch by [Link]
doesn't take long for him to demolish my inner walls so
as to make room for him and when he settles my cookie
adjusts to the intrusive fullness of him.
Me:”Oh God.”I moan grabbing onto the sheets.
He only keeps grunting and moving picking up his speed.
Him:”Damn baby you're so…so good…you're so good
baby.”he says tightening his hold on my waist.
Me:”Oh yes!”
He locks our hands together and drives deeper inside me
making me feel things I didn't know existed and he
turned up every twist and every corner inside of me.
He then flips me over and I'm on all fours and then he
puts a pillow under me and then brings my butt towards
and slides in again.
Me:”Oooh yeah…”
Him:”You like that?”
Me:”Ihmn.”
He kisses me on the back while he moves in me and I
throw my head back so he can kiss me on the lips.
Me:”Hmmm.”I say while lightly laughing.
Jesus this is so goood.
Him:”Ah-ah not yet baby.”
Me:”Pleaseee…”I plead as I feel that toe curling build up
course through every fibre of me.
He moves faster and keeps cursing my [Link] is the
only time I prefer being called by name because it
wouldn't sound right if he were to go “ahhh Dr Musa.”
And another thing the good ol’Dr Musa isn't really being
good right now.
He pushes me further down and tightens his grip on my
waist.
Him:”Tshhhh….”he says through his teeth and pounds
on.
Me:”I can't hold it anymore.”
Him:”I'm right there baby.”
I feel him stiffen and he moves recklessly and I know that
he is close and I make it clap on him like he told me give
me 5.
Him:”Come with me baby.”
Me:”Yes yes yes…”one more thrust and I explode he also
releases himself and collapses on top of me.
Him:”You're amazing.”
Me:”Mmm.”I say as I roll to the side and lay facing up.
We just lay there side by side trying to regain our
[Link] then gets up and goes to discard the condom.
He gets out of bed butt naked and walks over to the
[Link] has a nice firm ass good God.
Him:”It's rude to stare!You can't have your cake and eat
it.”he says without as much as a turn back and shakes his
butt as he struts to the bathroom.
I smile to [Link]'d expect me to feel like shit for
what I've just done but nothing in me moved,this all felt
so right and I wasn’t going to be mopping around just
after that hot session.
Him:”Thinking about me already?”he says standing at the
door.
Me:”Oh please as if.”he then starts making his way
towards me and my eyes run to his beautiful shaft
dangling as he [Link] mouth just dries.
Him:”Let me take this.”he says removing the covers then
wiped me [Link] goes to the bathroom again and
comes back.
He lays on his side and rests his head on his hand and
looks at me.
Him:”Thanks.”
Me:”For?”
Him:”A great birthday present.”he smiled like a little boy.
Me:”Birthday?It's your birthday today?”I ask shocked
and quickly pull the covers back on me again.
Him:”Yes it's my birthday today and don't do that don't
cover [Link]'s chill in our BIRTHDAY suits huh.”he says
licking his lips.
This man is so silly.
Me:”I need a shower.”
Him:”I prepared boiling water for you in the bathtub.”I
giggle.
Me:”Boiling?”
Him:”Just how you like it.”
Me:”You're a special case.”
Him:”Can I be your special case doctor?”
Me:”Nope.I've already given you something special and
that's all of my fleshy self.”I say jokingly but he doesn't
laugh with me.
I look at him and he is looking at me intensely in the
[Link] man's stare has so much weight!I can never hold
his gaze.
Him:”And I appreciate it.I really [Link]'re amazing
INSIDE and out.”
Me:”My boiling water will get cold.”
Him:”Get right along then.”
I get out of bed and he pulls me back and kisses me then
let's me go.
There is no shower cap in this bathroom and I'm lazy to
go back out and search for a hair tie in my purse so I just
get in the water and the tips of my hair gets soaked but
I'll live.
The water stings just how I like it,I throw my head back
and just lay there replaying what happened in that
bedroom and my body quivers.
I start washing and touch myself when I get down there
as I think of him licking and flicking…my I am so
[Link] do I get back to sex with Africa when I've
just had a taste of that?!
I release myself and continue washing then empty the
bathtub and pull on the robe that has been laid out for
me.
I stand in front of the mirror with a towel trying to dry
the ends of my hair and I spot a big hickey on my neck
and I almost scream.
I drop the towel and pull the robe off my shoulders and
there are more hickeys!On my collarbone.
Me:”Anthony!!!”I shout but get no response.
I pull the robe back up and stop out the bathroom
barefoot.
I find him moving about in the room and turning up
pillows and bed sheets.
Why is he still butt naked??
Me:”I…erhh…what are you looking for?”
He turns around and his stick swings that way and I get
all moist down south…oh boy this is going to be hard.
Him:”Oh hey have you seen my phone?”
I clear my throat.
Me:”N-no but I can help you look.”I say with my eyes cast
down on his genitals.
Him:”Or you can help yourself to this.”he says bringing
me to his chest.
I have to stand on my toes so we can level with each
other.
Him:”You're so good when you're wet.”the vibrations
from his words while his lips are on mine send tingles
down my spine.
Me:”You're so good with nothing on.”I say pressing my
forehead on his.
He pulls back and looks at me.
Him:”Oh so you have been checking me out?”
Me:”Oh please don't flatter [Link] me call your
phone.”
I walk over to the dressing table and pick up my phone.
Me:”It's ringing.”
Him:”But where is it?”
We both keep quiet and listen for any sounds and I hear
vibrations.
I walk over to his pants and pull out his phone from his
pants.
Me:”Here…oh your mom is calling.”I say when I see the
caller I.D saved as Ma’Gumede.
Him:”Please take it for me.”
Me:”What?”I ask in that “are you crazy?” tone.
Is he mad???I can't have anyone know that I slept here
and literally slept with [Link] not Ma’Gumede
who already has ideas about me and her son.
Him:”Please.”he pouts and pulls a puppy face.
I'm convinced I was dropped on my head when I was
born because I've become a yes man to what this dude
says even when I know it's wrong.
Me:”Hello Mah.”I say picking up but it echoes.
Ok this is weird.I look at him and he has this stupid grin
on his face.
There is silence but Ma’Gumede is still on the phone I
look at the phone and also look at mine and see that my
call to him has also been picked up.
Ok this is spooky!!!With a shaky voice I talk on the phone
and again it echoes on my phone.
Me:”Anthony what's going on here?”
Him:”You've just found my phone.”he took his phone
and held it to his ear.
I picked up mine.
Him:”Sawbona Ma’Gumede”
Me:”You have me saved as your mom?”I don't want
another Africa on my stoep!
Rich kids of south africa neh? We're talking to each other
through the phone while both standing right in front of
the other.
Him:”You are a mom,the mother of my future children
and the near future Mrs Gumede.”
Me:”Anthony we've been thru this…we're both seeing
other people…”he puts his index finger on my lips.
Him:”We're not tied to them but I won't pressure
you…I'll wait for you to find your way back home.”
Me:”Hmmm speaking of home I need to get back.”
Him:”Ok let me freshen up and we'll get going.”
Me:”Let me get dressed so long.”he frowns.
Him:”I thought we agreed on chilling in our birthday
suits.”I laugh.
Me:”You're so silly.”he blows me a kiss.
He heads for the bathroom and I turn to the dressing
mirror and remember why I had come into the room to
begin with…the hickeys!!!
Me:”Anthony Gumede!!!”I hear him chuckle and I shake
my head.
I slip into yesterday's dress with no panties on and put on
my heels and sit in front of the mirror brushing my hear
which had just about dried.
When I finish dressing up he still isn't back from the
bathroom,I start making the bed.
Him:”I think you forgot something.”he says dangling my
panties in his hand.
Me:”Not at all,I thought should also leave you with a
souvenir since YOU ALSO LEFT ME WITH HICKEYS!!!”I say
and throw a pillow at him and he ducks.
Him:”Ohhh monkey see,monkey do.”he says and run to
the other side of the bed and picks up a pillow.
Me:”No,no,no Anthony I've just made this bed!!!”he
doesn't listen to me and throws the pillow my way.I duck
and when I pick my head up he throws another one that
sends me staggering on my feet and he is by my side in a
blink of an eye to keep me from falling.
Him:”Are you okay?”he asks concern on his face.
I pull away from his hold and stand a safe distance away
and say…
Me:”You hit like a girl.”I say and make a run for the door.
He chases after me and then he realizes that he's still just
in a towel and gets back up to get dressed I assume.
I get downstairs and make my way to the kitchen to grab
something to eat.I cut a block of cheese and start eating
that.
After a while I feel hands snack around my waist and he
plants a kiss at the back of my neck,the hairs on my neck
stand to attention as that electrifying current zaps
throughout my body.
Him:”Hi.”he says as he turns me around.
Me:”Happy birthday.”I say as I stuff some cheese in his
mouth.
Him:”What are we having for breakfast?”
Me:”I'm sorry I can't stay for that,I have to get going.”
My mouth is saying no but my body is saying yes…he
pushes me against the fridge and brings my leg up.
Him:”Mmmmm…”he draws in a sharp breath and
clenches his jaws.
Him:”We should get going before I take you on the
kitchen contour.”
Me:”Let me get my purse.”
Him:”Right here.”he gives it to me.
I fix my dress and run my hands through my hair and we
step out of the house.
He drives me home and I tell him to drop me 3 houses
away from Mr Dad's then I make the whole trip by foot.
When I get to the gate Mr Dad is standing right there
waiting for me.
I pull the weave down on either side to cover my neck.
Him:”Pamella?”
Me:”Dad.”
I nod.
Me:”Is she here?”
Him:”Of course she's here,where else could she go?”
Me:”Really Dad?In our home?The house you had built for
mom???”
“The both of you get inside!You don't want the city
people seeing you fighting Hendry,you're city council
now.”grandma hisses behind us.
We make our way inside the house.
Me:”So glad to find you here.”I say as I hug Noma.
Her:”Everyone is [Link]'re still in yesterday's
clothes.”she says eyeing me suspiciously.
I giggle.
Me:”We'll talk later.”
We make our way into the living room and take our seats
even Mrs Mom is here and the newer mom Tiffany with
Mr Dad by her side.
Grandma gives a full on lecture about respecting Dad and
I feel like it's directed at me,she also welcomes Tiffany
into the family and that one blushes like a teenage girl
with her hands locked with Dad’s.
This isn't right!They shouldn't be doing all this
unnecessary PDA right in front of mom but I feel like I'm
the only one worried for her because she shows no
emotion she's just smiling.
Mr Dad also gets up to say a few things but he strays
when he touches on his image by saying,
Him:”Everything you do now people will be watching,so
you need to think twice before you act.”he says directing
his words at me.
Who wants to live a calculated life?Ay suka!(no man).
He thanks the family and then dismisses the
[Link] has to go so she comes up to hug me
goodbye.
Her:”You smell like man.”she says when she pulls
[Link] jaw is on the floor,I mean I knew his body wash
smelled manly but to me it smelt just like him and I feel
like I'm enveloped in his arms.
Me:”Mom?!”I cry,she laughs at me.
Her:”I know these things.I have to get going baby,I love
[Link] care of yourself.”
Me:”I love you too Mom…so much and no one will ever
take your place ok?”I say looking at Tiffany.
Her:”I'm not even bothered by that,you're my baby.”
We hug once more and she goes,Tiffang walks her
[Link] also has to go so it will be me and Noma left
behind.
Him:”Sharp kid.”
Me:”Bye bro man.”
Him:”You smell like a dude.”
Oh my God can we not?!
Me:”You shut up and come kiss me.”
Him:”Erhh no…I'll pass.”
I hit him on his shoulder and forcefully kiss him on the
cheek.
Him:”Daaad your daughter is molesting me.”he says and
runs away from me.
I see him off and go up to my room to get a change of
clothes,these shoes are killing me!!!
There's a knock at my door and then Noma walks in
tightly shutting the door behind her.
Her:”Sooooo?”she asks all giddy.
Me:”So what?”
Her:”You and Anthony?”
Me:”Why did you let me leave with him?”
Her:”Let?Honey you were all over him like a bad
rash..”my eyes widened.
Me:”Oh God…”
Her:”And I see he was all over you also and made sure to
leave his foot prints in the sands of time or should I say
lip prints…”she says removing my hair from my neck.I
smack her hand.
Me:”Ay Noma man.”I say smiling.
Her:”Oh-ho-ho he gave it to you good didn't he?”I nod,I
don't trust my speech I feel a moan threatening to
escape my lips as I remember the things Anthony did to
my body.
She screams.
Her:”Honestly I prefer him rather than that mental case
you call a boyfriend.”
Me:”Noma please don't go there plus I'm a doctor who
deals with mental cases so I've got this.”she rolls her
eyes.
Her:”Oh please..so tell me how it went…”she says
shifting closer to my side on the bed.
Me:”Wouldn't you like to know.”I say and slip up the
leggings that I paired with a black polo neck and bounce
on the bed next to her smiling….
Later on in the day I took a cab back to Africa’s house and
I was surprised that he hadn't called me the whole day to
check on me.
He opened up the gate for me and I drove in then made
my way inside the house.
Him:”Hey baby.”he said planting a kiss on my cheek.
My body convulsed like it didn't want him touching me!
Me:”Hmmn…hey honey.”
Him:”How was the dinner?”
Me:”It was okay and my Dad is engaged.”
Him:”Oh is it?”
Me:”Yes and they will have an engagement party on New
Year's [Link] should come with me.”
Him:”I don't think that's a good idea.”
Me:”Come on Mr Dad is a man in love now I'm sure he
won't mid that you're there,I think he has forgiven you.”
Him:”If you say so and speaking of forgiving my Dad was
asking about you all of yesterday and was here today also
to see if you were in.”
Me:”Oh really,that's great.I'm sorry I wasn't here,how
was the dinner with him by the way?”
Him:”It was great.”just then my stomach growled.
Me:”Ooh all this talk about dinner is making me hungry.”
Him:”It's a good thing that I cooked then,shall we?”he
says putting his hand out for me.
Me:”Ahhh thank you,you're a God sent.”I say and he
smiles.
We make our way to the dining area and he dishes up for
me and we have our dinner over light conversations and
we agree to go out tomorrow,me,him and his dad.
Him:”Do you like this house?”he asks out of the blue.
Me:”Yes it's a lovely house,why are you asking?”I say
setting down my glass of juice,this is so random.
Him:”I'm just asking if you like the house and see it as
your home?”
Me:”Oh,oh…erhh…yes,yes I like the house.”
Him:”If you don't like this one we can buy another one.”
Me:”No this one is fine.”he nodded.
We continue eating and then after dinner I clear up the
table and go put the dishes in the dishwasher and head
upstairs to take a shower.
Him:”Babe what's that on you?”he asks as I am lotioning
my body.
Shoot I still when I realize that I'm no longer covering my
neck,I have my hair tied in a bun leaving the hickeys
exposed.
Me:”What's what?”
Him:”That thing on your neck.”he says getting up from
the bed and coming towards me.
Me:”Oh this??It's an allergic reaction,I didn't have my
toiletries with me so I used Noma’s perfume and it
doesn't really go well with my [Link] burned me.”I say
with a straight face on.
Him:”Oh.”he doesn't sound convinced but I don't care.
I finish lotioning and get in under the covers.
Me:”Good night Mangethe.
I hear him mumble something and I don't catch what he
[Link] doesn't take long for me to fall asleep.
The next day we wake up and just spend the day binge
watching our favourite series till it's in the afternoon and
we get ready to go have dinner with his Dad.
The dinner was amazing Bab’Zwane was nice to me and I
was back to being his makoti so all was right with the
[Link] literally felt like nothing happened because I
never heard anything from Anthony and I was okay with
that because I held that memory of that intimate
morning with him.
Everything was back in it's place or so I thought…
So on this day on the 30th of December a day before New
Year's Eve,me and Africa were getting ready to go out
shopping for something to wear to the engagement party
tomorrow and also we were going to have dinner there
at the mall.
As we were busy the intercom rang and Africa went out
get the door because he was already dressed up.
I was left in the room turning up the dressings’ drawers
in search of that diamond neck piece set that Africa
bought me but I couldn't find it.
Then I hear Africa’s booming voice call me from
downstairs.
Him:”Pamella!!”
Me:”Coming baby I'm almost done.”I say and grab my
purse.
I know how restless he gets when I take too long to get
ready so I half run out the room and down the stairs but
he meets me at the last bottom two stairs.
Me:”We can get going,I'm done.”he doesn't move
instead he gives me a green look.
Him:”Pamella I'm going to ask you this once and I want
you to think carefully before you answer.”he says
through his teeth.
Me:”Baby,what's going on?”he hands me an envelope
with a little rectangular box.
I take it out and just about faints when I see the neck
piece I had been looking for perfectly nestled in the box
with the earrings.
Him:”There's a note.”
Me:”Oh?”with shaking hands I reach for the little note.
“This neck piece is so much better around your neck than
laying on my dresser.
Love,
Gumede.”
Him:”Why is Gumede sending you a neck piece that I
bought you,Pamella?”
Oh shucks I think to myself as I remember that I
accidentally left my jewellery back at Anthony's
place,heck I had even forgotten that I had a neck piece
the previous night I was rather preoccupied the following
morning.
As I am thinking of ways to explain this to Africa I fell him
grab my arm and tighten his hold on my wrist and I
wince.
Him:”I'm waiting…”I almost cry but see that tears won't
save me here the way he's looking at me.
His eyes are filled with so much rage and he keeps
tightening his hold on my wrist I think I bet there is no
blood circulation around that arm,it actually feels numb.
Me:”Baby please…”I plead.
I only wince I don't even cry because I'm the one who's
made a mess of things here and that damned Anthony
Gumede!He will feel my full [Link] didn't loosen
his hold on my wrist.
Me:”Baby?...please…you're hurting me.”I said in a low
voice.
He looked at me like really looked at me,his face now
void of any [Link] with a drop temperature in his
voice he asked,
Him:”Are you sleeping with him?”so chilly!
I was flabbergasted but I wasn't going to play all
defensive that would make me look guilty which I am but
he doesn't know that and looking at the green eyed
monster in front me;HE SHOULD NEVER KNOW!
I'm not a great liar but I'm not a bad lie either and here I
was under the burning-tight-wrist hold of a man who
gets paid to lie!That's how good he was and I was going
to lie to him.
Without as much as hesitation or shaky voice I answered.
Me:”No.”I thought this was what he wanted to hear but
it seemed I only upset him more but why?No man ever
wants to hear their girl had been out cheating on him so
why is my “no” the wrong answer?
Him:”Pamella do not fucken take me for a fool first it was
the red marks all over you like rash and then this…no
hoho ho.”he said lightly chuckling and shaking his head.
Me:”But baby…I told you about the allergic reactio…”he
cut me off.
He put his one hand up so close to my face I thought he
was going to smack me and in my head I dared him to.I
don't know what I would have done but I wished a nigga
would!
Him:”I said patronize me!Ok...I get the bullshit of the
perfume and allergic reaction now let's hear the tall tale
of the neck piece,how did it wind up with him?”
Ok Pamella think!!!You're the thinker so there should be
something and then it hit me…the note had only “Love
Gumede” BUT it didn't say WHICH Gumede!!!
All this while he's just looking at me waiting for an
answer and I have my one hand over his on my wrist so
to loosen up his hold a little bit.
Me:”Baby listen to me I didn't…I didn't tell you the whole
truth about the Christmas dinner…”I said deliberately
making hiccupy sounds like with the next word could be
lethal but he didn't care for that he wanted to hear my
“tall tale” and boy was I to tell him the tallest tale!!!
Me:”What I didn’t tell you is that I had had too much to
drink which is why I couldn't come back home that night
baby because…because for one I didn't want to
disrespect you and also because I didn't want you to
relapse…I can still smell the hot whiskey breath that
came out your mouth the day you came over to my
house and called me a slut and next thing you know you
were on your deathbed and I blamed myself for [Link] you
see…I couldn't come home shit drunk and amidst trying
to keep you away from possible triggers I cracked under
pressure and it didn't help that at that same time Dad
announced a new wife so yeah…I went and got drunk.”
Him:”Still that doesn't explain why Gumede had my neck
piece!!!”oh so it's his now?
Me:”I am getting to that…so there I was drinking like
there is no tomorrow and I started giving things away…I
gave Ma’Gumede the neckpiece;the whole set actually I
thought it looks beautiful on her so I gave it to her also as
a token of thanks since she had gotten me shoes for my
grad and since I had another pair of shoes I gave the ones
I had on the night to Bongi…I was feeling generous,too
generous and eventually I had to be taken up to my room
and got locked in there…which is partially why I didn't
come home that night.”I swear this sounded better in my
head.
He just gave me the “really bitch?” look.
Me:”You can call Noma about the perfume and
Ma’Gumede and Bongi about the shoes and neckpiece if
you want.”I was kind of hoping he doesn't but I was also
not worried if he decided to because I know these
women are team players and would pick team Pamella
any day.
Him:”Damn you Pamella!”he barked and let go of my
wrist pushing me so hard that I fell and my back hit the
stairs and instantly hurt.
It all happened so fast I forgot to cry I just sat there with
my back sore and in flames and then he started pacing
[Link]'d stop in front of me and make some noise at
the back of his throat,shake his head and then get to
pacing again.
By this time I thought it wise to shut up because for one I
am guilty as charged but also talking made things worse
for me.
I was looking down with my arms folded and rubbing up
and down the sides of my arms when I felt a heavy
presence before me,I picked up my head and he was
standing right in front of me,looking down at me.
With eyes bloodshot red and a voice thick with emotion
he asked,
Him:”Why don't you love me?”he said this with his voice
threatening to break.
I just swallowed hard and for the first time ever I had no
come back,had absolutely nothing to say…there was
nothing to say or explain this.
I didn't specifically know why I didn't love him I just knew
I did not and don't get me wrong I don't hate him either
but I'm just not in love with him.
I stood up.
Me:”I love you baby.”
Him:”But?”
Me:”But what?”he just looked at me and shook his head.
Him:”I can't do this.”he took his keys and set out.
Me:”Africa?Where are you going?”
I was right at his [Link] opened the gate and went to
the garage,I took a U-turn and went back inside the
house to close the gate.
He was reversing out the garage and I was just watching
from the door and then he stopped and popped his head
out from the window and looked back to see that the
gate had been closed.
He frowned and looked ahead towards me and I had my
hands folded with a smirk on.Déjà vu!!!
Him:”Pamella open this damned gate!!!”he shouted and I
didn't even move a muscle.
He kept shouting and shouting and got fed up and came
charging towards the door to open the gate whilst he did
that I ran for the car and took out the car from the
[Link] one is leaving anyone here plus we were
going out together!I am already dressed up!
So now he had opened the gate but didn't have the keys
to start the car.
Him:”Pamella man stop fucking around and give me the
keys.”
Me:”Come get them.”I say dangling them in the air.
I don't why I'm thinking he won't reach them while he's
taller than [Link] tries to reach for them and I tackle him
and he falls [Link] serious as this situation this
situation my dropped on my head when born ass starts
laughing.
Me:”Oohh.”I say as I slip and fall on top of him and
continued laughing.
Then there was a moment of silence,I picked up my head
from his chest and supported myself on my arms and
looked into his eyes and he smiles and I smile too and
that is when he flips me over and I'm under him,he grabs
the car keys and races to the car.
I'm in awe he was so quick,I'm not even mad and I don't
even go to close the gate,I just sat there and watched
him drive away the fool even hooted before driving out.
I got up and dusted myself off and went inside the house.
I went to take a quick shower and changed into my long
pyjamas.I went back downstairs and took out a tub of
vanilla ice-cream and switched on the t.v and waited and
waited on Africa but he never came and then I started to
panic because well you know the guy is hyper suicidal.
I called him a handful of times and he didn't pick up.I
then called his father and he said he doesn't know where
he is and asked if anything is [Link] course I didn't say
anything is wrong because I had just gotten back in his
good books.
I had no one else to call then I remembered I asked him
to call Noma,Bongi and Ma’Gumede to corroborate my
story so I phoned them to ask if he had contacted them
and they said no.
I went back to calling him and he didn't pick up then I
started getting frustrated.I had run out of people to call
and I needed answers so I called the person who started
all this.
Him:”Ma’Gumede.”he said in that bass rich voice of his.
I just about melted but I was mad.
Me:”Anthony.”
Him:”Oh we're on first name basis?Ok.”
Me:”Why did you send the neckpiece to this house?.”
Him:”Because that's where you live?”
Me:”I don't think so,I see what you're trying to do
[Link] want to cause trouble for me and Africa.”
Him:”Maybe I am.”he said boldly.
Me:”You jerk!I can't beli...”he cut me off.
Him:”Pamella listen I'm a man you won't talk to me like
that.”
Me:”You're not MY MAN.”I hissed.
Him:”You keep telling yourself that nonetheless I am a
man and one who knows what he wants and works for
what he wants and I want you.”
Me:”Well…we don't always get what we [Link] I want
you to do me a favour and stay the hell away from me.”
He let out a chuckle.
Me:”What's funny?”
Him:”No nothing..”he said and continued chuckling.
Me:”I'm going to hang up this phone!”his laughing
seized.
Him:”No no wait,wait…uhh…you said we don't always get
what we wanted then turned around and wanted
something from me.”
Me:”I don't care what I said but now I am saying that I
want you to stay away from me.”
Him:”I'm afraid that's going to be a problem even if I
tried I can't stay away from you -literally plus we
frequent the same spaces so I'll never be [Link] the
New Year's Eve dinner tomorrow you'll see me
there…and wear that maroon velvet number I like.”tu tu
tu tu.
He cut me off!
Me:”Such a jerk.”I said and tossed the phone aside and
stayed up waiting for Africa to come back home.
I waited and waited and waited and wai…until I fell
asleep.
Now I am deep sleeper but that night I heard Africa
stagger into the house.I listened to him make his way
over to where I was sleeping and he crouched down next
to me.
Him:”You look so peaceful and innocent when you're
sleeping which is partially why I fell senselessly in love
with you,because of that [Link] why won't you
love me back huh?”
I kept quiet because to him I was fast [Link] took a
shallow breath.
Him:”I don't blame you though I guess I expected too
much from you,I've never had someone love me back
well except for my [Link] the women in my life didn't
really love [Link] mom left me and so did all the other
females in my life they'd get what they want and be
gone.”
What he said just broke my heart,I love him but I am not
in love with [Link] kept quiet and then leaned forward
to kiss me I was going to let him but then the smell of
alcohol on his breath hit my nose and my eyes shot up.
Me:”Don't you dare kiss [Link] you been drinking?”
He was so shocked he stumbled and fell on his butt.
Me:”Really Africa?You went out drinking?”
Him:”Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up.”
That's all he's worried about?
Me:”You can be impossible you know,you left me here
and went out drinking right after I told you how I lost my
mind when I had been drinking and to top it all off you
have lung failure!!!”
Him:”Wow Pamella thanks for reminding me that I'm a
dead man walking…I had just about forgotten.”
Me:”And that's all alcohol does it makes you forget it
doesn't take it away.”
Him:”Yeah right,I'm going to sleep.”
Oh no no not again.
Me:”Where are you going?Hey.”I ran up to him.
Him:”Pamella I'm tired.I'm going to sleep.”
Me:”Okay then.”I sped up past him and went to the
bedroom and locked.
I was too fast for him since he was under the influence by
the time he'd realized what I was doing and also run up
the stairs to our room,I was already under the covers.
I had a good mind of just putting my earplugs on and
ignore him.
Before long he was at the door knocking.
Him:”Pamella why is this door locked?...PAMELLA!!!.”he
went at for a while,I don't know when he stopped
because I had long gone to sleep.
Next morning I woke up,made the bed and went to wash
my face and brush my teeth.
Me:”Hey pretty bitch…new day,NEW YEAR in a couple
[Link]'ve had quiet the [Link] your memory,lost
your FRIENDS,qualified for a PhD and have a job lined
[Link] 2 sexual partners in one year!Your dad is getting
married!!YOU'RE A MOM!!!This year tried to put you
down baby girl but here you are still standing and not
just for the sake of [Link] may have had your own plans
but a Higher power also had plans for you,plans to
prosper you so don't cry for the things that didn't go your
[Link]'re at the finish line now so go out there and end
this year in style.”I said that and then walked away from
the mirror.
I feel like people don't give themselves enough credit like
you've made it this far give yourself a round of
applause,a pat on the back,get that tall glass of [Link]
deserve it.
You won't master your whole life in one [Link] wake up
do what works for you and then keep doing that every
day.
Grind;to perform repetitive actions over and over in
order to attain a [Link] get up and grind honey!
I almost fall on my face when I step outside the room.I
look down and see Africa sleeping in foetal position right
outside our door and I almost tripped over him.
Why in the hell would he sleep down here when we have
so many other bedrooms in this house?!Whatever
reason it is I do not care it is the last day of the year and I
intend to enjoy it.I wanted to end of the year on a high
note but we do not always get what we want,let me
rephrase Pamella never gets what she wants.
I got downstairs and took out orange juice then poured it
in a glass,gulped it down and set the glass down.
I start making breakfast and after a while Africa makes
his way down and looks like he's just stepped out the
shower in his robe.
Him:”Good morning.”
Me:”[Link] or juice.”
Him:”[Link] black coffee.”
Me:”That bad huh?”
Him:”You don't know the half of it.”I chuckled.
Me:”That's what you get for drinking.”
Him:”About that,honey I am so sor..”I put my hand up.
Me:”Not today [Link].”I say handing him a cup of
coffee.
Him:”Thanks.”I nodded.
Me:”Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”
Him:”It's a beautiful day out want me to set things up in
the balcony?”
Me:”Yeah sure.”
So he went out and set things up and I brought out the
food and then we ate.
Him:”That was the best breakfast I've ever had.”
Me:”The last breakfast of the year.”
Him:”I know you don't want to talk about yesterday but I
really am sorry babe,I shouldn't have walked out on you
and I most definitely shouldn't have went out
drinking.I'm blessed to have you,I see that now.I
overreacted yesterday and I called uhm Noma and
Ma’Gumede although they weren't pleased with me
calling they told me the truth.I was a fool to not believe
you,can't believe I doubted your love.”he said shaking his
head and lightly laughing.
I swallowed hard and smiled a tight smile.
Me:”Hmmmn.”
Him:”To a new year and new beginnings,to us.”he said
raising up his cup of coffee.
Me:”New beginnings.”
Him:”Hmn and oh I handled the whole thing with our
outfits for the engagement party tonight.”
Me:”You did?”
Him:”Yeah I hired this lady who owns a boutique to bring
in her dresses and everything so you can choose what
you like and also I got the beauty people…what do you
call them?”
Me:”The glam squad?”
Him:”Yes that,they'll come in the afternoon.”
Me:”Oh you sweet sweet man,thank you Mangethe.”
Him:”It's my pleasure my shortbread.”
Me:”Oh my God can we not!!!”he just laughed at me.
I don't like that nickname and he knows it.
We had our breakfast he cleared up the table and did the
dishes while I went to take a shower.
I was planning on going out to buy a present for the
couple.
Him:”Oh my God baby did I do that?”he asked coming
towards me.
He came in just as I was lotioning my body and had seen
the black green bruise on my back.I couldn't wrap the
towel around me faster.
Me:”It's nothing.”
Him:”Can I?”I just stood there.
We'd just had a wonderful morning I didn't want to ruin
that with a silly little bruise it doesn't even hurt anymore.
He unwrapped the towel and I let it fall to my feet and he
walked around me to my back and I heard his breath
hitch as he gasped.
Him:”Oh God I'm so horrible.”he said with his hands in
his mouth.
I quickly picked the towel up and faced him.
Me:”Hey hey hey,don't do that to yourself this is nothing
and it was a mistake.”he shook his head.
Him:”I'm a monster.”
Me:”Africa look at me.”he just shook his head.
After that he was just all over the place cursing himself
and apologizing.
Me:”Africa stop this!Look at me!!”he stopped his pacing
and looked at me.
Him:”I'm sorry.”
Me:”I know and I forgive you,this doesn't even hurt and
it will go away come next year it will be gone.”I smiled at
him and he smiled too.
Him:”I'm so lucky to have you.”
Me:”Join the party.”
We both laughed.
Him:”So how much will you need for the gift?”
Me:”I'm not sure,I'll just see at the mall.”
Him:”You'll need this then.”he said handing me his card.
Me:”You're the best.”I smiled widely.
Him:”And by the smile on your face my wallet will feel
just how much “I am the best”.I'll regret this.”
Me:”Oh shut up.I'll see you later.”I said kissing his cheek.
Him:”Don't be too long the glam squad will be here to
get you made up.”
I took my car keys and made my way out.I got in the car
and connected my phone's Bluetooth and dialled Mrs
Mom.
I hooted before driving out and she picked up.
Her:”Moghel(baby girl)?”
Me:”Tiffany’s friend.”
Her:”Ah come on!”
Me:”Yes [Link] didn't even give me a heads up.”
Her:”It wasn't my place.”
Me:”Yeah and now you officially have no place in Dad’s
life.”
Her:”Don't be ridiculous I'll always have a place in that
man's heart as he will always have one in mine,what me
and your father had runs deeper than the surface we
may have fell out of love with each other but we didn't
stop loving one another.I love him so much I want to see
him happy and Tiff makes him happy then I'm happy.”
Me:”Oh mom would you stop calling her Tiff like she's
your best friend I'm your best friend!”
Her:”Now who doesn't have a place in another person’s
life?”
Me:”Excuse me lady I do have a place in your life first in
your womb and then your heart.”I say matter-of-fact.
Her:”Don't forget my wallet too.”
Me:”Oh come on!”she laughed,oh how I love that sweet
giggle of [Link] mom is my number one girl.
Her:”You frequent my wallet so much you're a
permanent resident.”she continued spilling over with
laughter and I joined in.
Me:”Ok Mrs Mom I get it and mom?”
Her:”Yes babe?”
Me:”I'm sorry for what I said I HAVE NO PLACE talking
about you and Dad like that,I'm just so afraid that now
that he's having a whole wife he won't be my Mr Dad
anymore.I wanted you,Noma and I to be the only women
in his life.”
Her:”Oh sweety he'll always be your Mr Dad come a
fiancé or high water.”
Me:”He really isn't pleased with me at the moment
because I'm bringing Africa over to the engagement
dinner tonight you know.”
Her:”Oh you and that mental case of yours.I really don't
have a good feeling about this [Link] don't speak much
of him and when you do it's always about what he had
[Link] was never like this with sweet Sam.”
Oh my God can we not?!!!My mom LOVED Samkelo she
loved him for me and till this day she doesn't shut up
about him but only because I didn’t tell her that he
cheated on me and broke my heart.
When she'd asked why we had split up I told her he was
going overseas to study and instead of nurturing a long
distance relationship I'd rather focus on my studies.
Me:”Not now mom,so I'm seeing you tonight?”
Her:”Yes and I'll be bringing my boyfriend.”
Me:”Your boyfrie -excuse me your what mom?”
Her:”My plus one…speaking of the devil he is [Link]
I'll call you back later,love you bye.”
Me:”No no no no mom!Mom?Mom come back here
we're still talking!”she hung up on me.
My parents are dating?!Oh [Link] year is not ending
rather the whole world is ending!
I get to the mall and realize that I have no idea what to
get a couple for their engagement party so I called Noma
and she joined me and we went on a shopping spree.
After that I went back home leaving her doing her nails
because her man didn't hire a glam squad for her!Perks.
I get home just about the same time with the boutique
lady and we get [Link] comes in with her rail of
designer dresses and I am so spoiled for choice that I
can't even make a choice.
Him:”Okay I'm out of here,I'll just go get ready in the
other room.”he attempted to leave.
Me:”Mangethe you sit [Link] have to help me choose
a dress so we can have corresponding outfits.”I whine.
Him:”I've already chose my slim fit black tux babe.”
Me:”Okay you're useless to me,get out.”he sighed out of
relief.
Him:”With pleasure.”
Me:”Hey don't look so relieved or you'll sit back down
here and help me choose.”
Him:”No ma’am I'm out of here.”he half ran out the
room.
I huffed in exasperation and the dress lady laughed.
Her:”You two make a good couple.”she says smiling
brightly.
Me:”Thanks now make us look like a good couple help
me choose a dress.”
And for the record looks can be deceiving,said my
subconscious.
Her:”Yes ma’am”and with that said we jumped right back
on trying every dress in search of the perfect one.
We found the dress and a while after the glam squad
came,I went to take a quick shower and put on a robe
then the lady started doing my make-up and hair.
As I always I opted for the minimal make-up look but
with a bold colour lipstick and that night I had a dark
maroon shade on.
My hair was smoothed on the one side and we put pins
to hold it and then it came falling on the left side of my
neck and it was curled.
My nails were painted and then I slipped into my dress,a
turquoise skirt dress actually with a high-low skirt and an
embroidered bodice.
I had no jewels on other than my earrings and then I put
on my peep-toe sling back cream heels.
I took my purse and then I went downstairs to find my
man already waiting for me looking fresh in his tux.
Him:”Shall we?”he asked putting his arm out for me.
Me:”Yes we may.”I encircled my arm around his.
Him:”You look gorgeous by the way I know it's a norm
but I'm still in awe every single time.”the corner of my
lips lifted into smile.
Me:”Thank you,you clean up well also.”
We got into our car and drove out to the beginning of my
end…
We arrived back at the house and stepped out the car.
Me:”Don't worry baby he's too in love to care about
you.”I said squeezing his hand I can tell he was nervous.
Him:”Let me get the gift from the back.”
Me:”Ok don’t take too long.”I kissed him and made my
way inside the house.
There was movement all over the house and I went into
the lounge and found Noma and Mrs Mom and Sbo
already there.
Me:”Hello family.”
I went around and hugged everyone.
Me:”So where's the couple?”
Mrs Mom:”Tiff is out back and I don't know where your
father is.”I gave her the eye it's Tiffany not Tiff!
Me:”What's she doing in the back?”
Sbo:”Making sure that everything is set up duhh.”he gave
me the “It’s not rocket science.”look.
Me:”Who asked Sbo again?”
They just all laughed and then Ma’Dlamini came up to
me and dragged me to the side.
Me:”Hey mom,how are you?”I tried to hug her but she
smacked my hand.
Her:”Don't hey mom [Link] did you bring that boy to
this house?”
I'm confused why shouldn't I have not the invitation said
bring a plus one.
Me:”But Mah you told me to take a chance with him.”
Her:”No no,that was before I knew he was crazy.”
Me:”Mom you've always told me not to judge people
only God can do that.”
Her:”Yes and I'm not trying to play God and I did tell you
not to judge people BUT I didn’t say be a bad judge of
[Link] this man has shown you that he
doesn't respect [Link] called you names and
disrespected your father's [Link] TRIED TO KILL
YOU!”she raised her voice a little higher.
Me:”Whoa back up Mah I was in an accident and back
then me and him weren't romantically involved,he did
not specifically target me.”
Her:”Still…”
Me:”Still nothing,here he comes.I have to be with him
since clearly every one in this house is out to get him.”
He came towards us and greeted but Ma’Dlamini just
looked at him up and down and walked away.
Me:”Come on babe,this side.”we walked together to the
lounge and as soon as we walked in there was a dead pin
silence.
Noma:”You brought HIM?!”
Oh boy can this night/year end already?!
We all moved outside and me and Africa went over to
Tiffany to give her their present.
Me:”This if for you and Dad from the both of us.”if you
could see my smile right now!!!It's an upside down frown
nothing happy about it.
Her:”Oh Hendry’s daughter thank you so much.”she said
like she'd just remembered me.
Hendry’s daughter???Excuse me,it's Dr Musa to you!I
was really hoping that Tiffany was going to be a better
host than the rest of my family but it looks like we won't
get along.
My Dad’s backyard is really huge like you could build a
set of flats there and still you'd have plenty of backyard
left.
Outside was nicely set up with a really long table and
everyone took their seats.
Dad came out of nowhere and then other people started
pouring in also if I thought there was tension between
my family and Africa I was thinking shit because as soon
as Anthony Gumede came in through the doors looking
yummy in his slim fit dark navy blue tailored suit the
tension got thicker.
I felt I couldn't breath he looked too good and knowing
that a whole six pack lied underneath those layers of
clothing and that once I had run my fingers through
them?!!!Good Lord I instantly felt hot.
He was with his parents with no girl or black mambazo
around his arm.
“Ooh you noticed”my subconscious beamed at me.
Of course I noticed I would've gone crazy if he brought
another female into my parents house and it would have
killed me to know that he got with someone else right
after having slept with me.
Don't give me that look Africa is an exception with me.
So him and his parents came and took their seats right
across me and Africa and I saw Africa shift uncomfortably
while Anthony looked chilled.
The rest of the guests came and we had our first course
meal there was bustling laughter and conversation
around the table and now and then I'd catch Africa and
Anthony giving each other looks and half the time
Anthony had that slight smirk of his and in my mind all I
saw was him mocking Africa saying “I fucked your girl”
but maybe that was my imagination but he did fuck his
girl which is why when our eyes met I'd give him a green
look and then continue to talk to Africa.
The night was going well and around desert time the
couple stood up and welcomed us and gave a vote of
thanks to all the guests and for all the gifts then
conversation around the table resumed.
Then it was nearing midnight and people had moved
from the table and were in pairs or groups all around the
yard talking “socializing” others remained at the table.
The time was now 23:30pm I got up from the table and
got another glass of champagne and told Africa to stand
up also and we all went to the middle of the
[Link] backs to the [Link] had the radio on
and [Link] was playing because everyone wanted to
hear the “crossing over” number one song and of course
for the count down.
As we were all standing there with our drinks in our
hands it all became real.
The year is nearly over and I was excited I was getting
quiet a good start into the new year,I was guaranteed a
job,a PhD graduates certificate and I was a mom.
23:45pm only fifteen minutes left only I did not know
that they were the last fifteen minutes I'd be conscious.
I looked around everyone's face was full of glee and they
were looking forward to the year ahead and I had my
family and everyone I loved with me which is all that
mattered all the materialistic stuff weigh nothing next to
family and in that moment King came out and stood
beside me.I jumped him,I was so excited.
Me:”Oh my God where were you?”
Him:”I went out with some friends.”
Me:”Oh you have friends now?”
Him:”Can we leave the inquisitive mom stuff for next
year?”
Me:”Next year?”Is he shutting me up?
Him:”Don't look so surprised next year is only like...ten
minutes away.”
Me:”I know and I want you to know that I love you kid.”
Him:”I know love because of you and I love you
too,mom?”he had his arms open for me and I just threw
myself in his arms.
Me:”You smell like a girl.”I said when we pulled back.
Him:”I might or might have not hit on a few girls.”
Me:”Oh I can't wait for next year so I can interrogate
your smart ass.”I lightly punched him and we both
laughed.
Africa:”Baby it's almost time.”
We were now 4mins away from a new year.I was excited
but also scared I knew what to expect of the year I was
expecting to go to work and put King back to school but I
didn't know what awaited me -what else the new year
had in store for me.
I had my fingers intertwined with Africa’s and then at the
top of their voices everyone started counting [Link]
wasn't on my side anymore I heard he was in charge of
setting off the fireworks.
And there were at the top of our lungs counting
down,writing off the year and crossing over to a new
one…
“8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1…Happy new year!!!!!!!!”every one
went crazy and were hugging one another but not me.
Africa slipped his hand out of mine and went down on his
knee my intestines went cold!!!I was stunned.
He had on the biggest smile and then he took out a white
little velvet square box from his pocket.
Shit shit shit!!!I kept saying that in my head.
Him:”Happy new year my love,Pamella Musa I'm a firm
believer that God doesn't make mistakes and wouldn't
start with [Link] is how I came to know that the
accident we had wasn't just an accident the Almighty had
divinely orchestrated a path for us to meet and be
[Link] into the new year I know we're two
individuals but I want us to fuse and co-write the same
story of the year and a whole lot more [Link]
you please do me the honour of being my wife?”he
opened the box and the most beautiful rose gold and
cushion cut diamond was nestled in there.
The buzz of the new year instantly died down and now
everyone had their attention to us and no one was
screaming “Say yes” like they did in the movies,no one
was a fan of us here and that didn't help me because I
wasn't really keen on marrying this guy.
There was an awful silence and I looked around at
everyone's faces and they were expectantly waiting for
me to say something the same as Africa was and his wide
smile had now grown weary.
Mr Dad:”Is this guy engage-crashing my engagement
party?”
Noma:”Looks like it,well Pamella what will it be?”
I looked down at Africa and then back at the expectant
faces which was a huge mistake because then I caught
Anthony's eye and he was looking right at me with a look
that said “yeah what is it going to be Pamella?”
Me:”I…”I had this huge dry lump in my throat.
Africa:”Yes?”
Me:”I'm-I'm so sorry.”I said that and started running
towards the house I didn't even take a second look at
him.I couldn't.
I ran and against my better judgement I turned and stole
a quick glance at him and he was still on his knee with his
head hanged.I shook my head and mouthed sorry as I
tried to turn my back to him again my heel caught on the
grass and I slipped and feel hitting my head hard on the
ground then it was lights out.
“Excuse me,(excuse me)..excuse me..hey can I help you
with that?(can I help you with that?)Can I have the
remaining numbers I already have the starting
zero(starting zero…I already have…already
have…zero)”…who is this beautiful man standing in front
me?I don't get the chance to admire him because he
hands me back my shopping bags and off he goes and
then I'm back at the house with Nonz and Anele,my
bitches!!!
Oh there is the beautiful specimen again but what is he
doing at my doorstep??!Uh-oh he looks troubled.I let him
in and offer him something to drink.
I ask him why he didn't come to me [Link]??I
invited him back at the house??!
“I'm sorry I couldn't get out of work early(couldn't get
out of work…out of work…couldn't get…I couldn't get out
of work early.)”he says and brushes my thigh no I'm too
comfortable with the guy and I only met him
yesterday!What's wrong with me?
Everything he says is in double voice.
Oh no no no he's leaving again.I watch him drive away
and for some reason I'm upset.
After that I'm out with this guy a lot.
“Pamella baby are you okay?”he is by the bedside next to
me.
Why is he calling me babe?Are we dating?
Then Mr Dad pops out of nowhere in the [Link]'s he
doing here?
“I had to make sure you were okay before I left”he
[Link] from what?I feel fine although my head is sore.
“Gumede walk with me”he says to the guy and they
leave.
I almost laugh when dad called him Gumede he made
him sound like a taxi owner but I couldn’t even begin to
laugh I was too confused.
In that moment of confusion a beautiful plumpy woman
came in the room and got under the covers with me she
kept calling me “makoti”.I can't make out the rest of
what we say at a point she laughs at me and I don't
understand.
Nothing makes sense!!!She then leaves and the
specimen comes into the room again.
Shit he has that troubled look again.
“Our Dads’ are business associates.”
“I didn't know.”I reply and I truly didn't know.
“They say we should break things off.”wait no
what???We're breaking up???We haven't even dated!!!
I get up and leave,his mom drives me back to my house.
I almost never see the guy again for a month and I hate
my dad for ending a good thing before it even started.
“Noma he knows where I live”I say getting of a taxi.
Where am I going?
“Okay I'm done with you,you're as stubborn as he is.”
“It wasn't your place to begin with.”
“Hhu Pamella shoot me for wanting us to be a family
again”yeah whatever I hang up the phone on her.
Ok I'm walking…walking inside the mall…ahh Steers my
favourite…I place an order and wait a little then some
instinct tells me to look behind me.
You wouldn't believe what I saw it was the hot specimen
guy and he was with a girl!What?!!!
I wanted to cry.
I moved forward to collect my order and when I turn he's
right there in front of me.
He looks down at me and frowns and then the girl he was
with comes towards us…
“Anthony could you please get me a…”she stops when
she sees me and also frowns.I think they deserve each
other these damned frowny faces!!!
So Anthony huh,that's his name??Well damn you
Anthony for breaking my heart.
I say sorry and literally flee the place and he calls after
me but I don't look back.I run and run and run and run
and before I know it,I'm in the middle of a busy road with
cars hooting at me.I'm stuck I can't run anymore and
then a car runs into me…I fade into a darkness and then
everything goes dead silent but only for a minute
because after that came a chaos,violent waves of
memory hit me in succession.
It's like I'm watching my whole life unfold right in front of
me.I see it;the car crash,the break up,me not talking to
my dad,the fallout with me and my best friends,I see how
I met King,I'm then with Africa,I'm living with
him,Anthony appears and re-appears,I remember our
night together,I remember Africa trying to kill himself,I
remember him with Sammy,everything just flashes
before me until he is down on his knee proposing the
chaos dies down and everything seems to stop at this
moment…he waits for my answer…I can't…I run and then
my heel gets caught then it's lights out for me.
Instead of everything going black my eyes fly open and I
shoot up from the bed sweating!!!And breathing
[Link] shivering!
The room I'm in is white and sterile,I see a figure moving
towards me,my vision is blurry from tears in my eyes.
Figure:”Hey…hey are you okay?...Ma’am are you okay?”I
hear her but her voice sounds like it's coming from afar.
I nod my head and then I say,
Me:”I remember.I remember EVERYTHING!”
New year,old memories!!!
Chapter 14
Me:”I-I remember everything…I remember...every single
thing…oh my God…oh my God…oh God!!”I gasped and
put my hands on my head in disbelief.
Nurse:”Ma’am?Ma’am are you okay?You're shaking.”I
could hear her speaking but I just couldn't respond to her
these flashes of memories just kept hitting me all at
once.
Me:”He'd said he loves me and then…and then he hurt
me and then I got hurt…running away from HIM…and
then my friends wouldn't tell me and then…oh no no no
no no…”I kept shaking my head.
It was as if I was losing my mind nothing made sense but
at the same time everything seemed to be falling in
place.
Nurse:”And then what ma’am?”well aren't we nosy?
I paused and looked towards her but I wasn't really
looking at her.
Me:”And then I slept with him…oh I'm so horrible…so so
so horrible.”I said and then started scrubbing and
violently wiping every inch of my body using the sheets
on the bed as if to atone my body.
Nurse:”Ma’am you're hurting yourself.”she tried holding
my hands and I was pushing her off.
Trust me the physical pain was more bearable than the
emotional pain I felt at that moment.
Me:”I let him touch me,I let him…let him touch me…I let
him t-t-touch me…”I kept repeating.
Nurse:”Can I get a doctor in here please?”she shouted
while pressing on the emergency button.
I had been emotionally put together all this while but
now…I just couldn't take it anymore!!!I had wanted to
remember but with Anthony…this is not the memory I
wanted to have of him,our love making session was so
beautiful but now that memory has been tainted and I
hate myself for having liked it!!!!Do not get me started
on my family and friends!They lied to me day in and day
out.
I could feel a darkness threatening to swallow me.
The room started to spin and I felt a stabbing pain on my
chest.
Nurse:”Breathe honey just breathe.”she says while
rubbing my back.
Me:”It hurts,it hurts so bad…so so bad…”I said and a gut
wrenching sob escaped my mouth and took down all my
walls and defences.
Nurse:”It's okay honey,it's okay.”she kept repeating like
her saying it many times will actually make it okay.
I knew it wasn't okay,I knew it wasn't gonna be okay my
life had just been turned on it's head the only thing that
felt okay at that moment was crying.
I didn't want to be strong anymore.
“What's going on?”I heard a voice asking.
Nurse:”I think she's having a panic attack doc.”
Dr:”Give her the oxygen mask.”he said while picking up a
file at the foot of my bed.
Me:”They all lied to me,they lied to [Link] whole life has
been a lie.”I said while crying and rocking back and forth.
Nurse:”Honey you need to keep [Link] let's put this
on.”
Me:”No!What I need is to get out of here and confront
them all of them!”I tried getting up.
The nurse shoved me back down gently and I felt
defeated.I just cried in a low voice.
Dr:”Ok we need to sedate her.”he said putting on his
latex gloves.
Me:”Please.”I pleaded.
I didn't even put up a fight in fact I gave the doctor my
arm as he injected me with the tranquilizer;a welcome
oblivion.
Funny how for the longest time I'd wanted to remember
but now I'd give anything to forget,even take sedatives
day in and day out to put me down under.
The doctor wiped my arm with a sterilized cotton bud
when he was done and I laid back down on the bed
facing up,the nurse came and tucked me in then left.
I wasn't crying anymore but I had unbidden tears just
streaming down on either side of my face,in no time I felt
a heaviness press at my eyelids and I couldn't keep them
open anymore and then slowly I fell into a deep sleep
void of any emotion.
Me:”Hmmm.”I groaned at the back of my throat.
I bat my eyelashes a few times to adjust to the light in
the room.
Me:”Aww aww aww”I cry as I try to sit up.
My joints are so stiff!!!Whatever sedative the doctor
gave me really knocked me out cold such that I didn't
even turn in my sleep.
“Hey hey hey…take it easy.”she rushes towards the bed
and helps me to sit up.
Well if it isn't the blue eyed beaut of a doctor.
Me:”Dr Winters.”
Dr:”Ha [Link],we meet again.”
Me:”I did promise to call again.”
Dr:”And royally so;you hit your head [Link]
original.”she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
We both laugh,we're special cases with this one.
I sigh.
Dr:”You didn't lose your memory this time”
Me:”My memory weighs nothing next to all that I'm
about to lose.”
Dr:”I heard you made a vocal confession that you
remember everything…”
“Who remembers everything?”I ran my eyes to the door
and saw my whole family oh let me rephrase they're not
family not anymore they're just a pack of hypocrites!!!
Mrs Mom:”Oh my baby.”she says making her way
towards the bed and throws her arms around me.
I wasn't even moved.I was boiling inside.
Dr:”I was just saying that [Link] now remembers…”
Me:”[Link] needs help to remember everything.”I
said cutting her off and she just gave me an inquisitive
look.
I pleaded with her to not say anything using eye contact.
Dr:”Erhhm yes,she will need help to regain her
memory.”she swallowed hard.
I could tell that this was hard on her but I didn't want my
family to know that I remember and also there's the
patient-doctor confidentiality.
I wanted to give them a chance to “help” me remember.
Noma:”Oh you poor thing,you lost your memory again?”I
nodded.
Mr Dad looked stunned,now that I remember that he
had broken me up with Anthony he irks me but I can't
put all the blame on him that beautiful bastard didn't do
much to defend our relationship.
Mrs Mom:”We bought you fresh sleepwear and a few
clothes.”
Me:”Thanks.”I said and gave her a pressed smile.
Mrs Mom:”You'll be okay baby.”
Me:”So long as I have you all,I know you'll help
[Link] first right?”
There was an all round mumble and they all said “right”.
Yeah right,family first but family will be the first to get
you hurt.
Me:”Where is King?”I asked looking around.
Sbo:”He stayed back.”
Me:”Oh.”I was a little disappointed that he didn't come
see me.
Truly speaking he is the only person I'm concerned about
right now,these people aren't his family and soon they
won't be my family either,I'm the one he knows which
bring me to ask.
Me:”Dr Winters for how long am I going to be in here?”
Dr:”One or two days just to monitor you and if we find
that you're a 100% okay we'll let you go.”
Me:”Okay,well I need to be well rested [Link] I hit
my head too hard?”she just widened her eyes.
Dr:”Yes you need to get some rest.”
I looked at everyone in the room,Mom got the hint.
Mrs Mom:”Oh do you want us to leave?”Yes.
Me:”Oh [Link] are still within visiting hours right?”
Mr Dad:”No but we are paying your hospital bills so we
can see you whenever we want.”I wanted to wipe the
smug off his face.
Me:”Tomorrow's still a day Dad.”
Mr Dad:”Okay guys doctor knows best and Dr Musa has
spoken so let's leave her to rest.”we all laughed.
Me:”Thank you.”
They all came up to me and gave me hugs and pecks.
Sbo:”You'll be alright kid.”he said ruffling my hair.
Me:”Heeeey that's my very expensive hair.”
Sbo:”Dude you pinned a donkey’s tail on a kangaroo’s
head this hair ain't yours.”I gasped and hit his hand.
Noma:”Move over it's my [Link] also brought you
food,all your favourites.”
Me:”Thanks sis.”I hugged her back.
Mrs Mom:”I'll be here first thing in the morning to check
up on you my love.”she kissed my forehead.
Me:”You don't have to babe I'll be out here in day.”
Mr Dad:”You better my pocket is feeling the heat
already.”
Me:”No man Dad you just hate coughing up money for
anything.”
Mr Dad:”I'm not a bank.”
Me:”You're my bank.”
He groaned and the room erupted with laughter once
again and I hated the sound,these people betrayed me
but I wasn't gonna let them know as yet no!!!I don't want
to give them the chance to lie to me again I'll hit them
with the truth when they least expect it.
Me:”Bye family.”they all chanted bye back and left.
I breathed out and slouched back down on the bed.
Dr Winters cleared her throat,she had been checking my
vitals and everything.
Dr:”What was that all about?”
Me:”Nothing.”
Dr:”That didn't look like nothing,you just lied to your
family and made me a part of it.”
Me:”No that was patient-doctor confidentiality,I'm your
patient and I didn't want you to tell them that I had
regained my full memory.”
Dr:”They're your [Link] telling me why you don't
want them to know?”
Me:”Because they are hypocrites!!!!”I said through my
teeth.
Dr:”Whoah…”
Me:”Yes and can you do me a favour?Can you not allow
them to come in here?I don't want any visitors for the
time that I'll be here.”
Dr:”Okay but you'd also have to do something for me.”
Me:”Anything.”
Dr:”You have to see someone,talk to someone.”
Me:”You want me to see a shrink?”
Dr:”[Link]'ve went through so much more than head
trauma and short term amnesia but also emotional
damage.”
Me:”Not to sound rude but I'm also a shrink.”
Dr:”Yes but doctors can't heal themselves.”
Me:”Oh Winters…”I said giving a shallow sigh.
Dr:”Don’t worry I'll have someone come in here and see
you,he comes highly recommended.”
Me:”It's a he?”
Dr:”Yes and a very good looking he.”she winked at me.
Me:”I doubt we'll do any talking with him then.”we
giggled.
Dr:”There's that smile [Link] should hold your head
high even when shit is low babe.”I gasped.
Me:”Where did they get you?”
Dr:”My mom used to tell me I fell off an aeroplane.”she
frowned.
Me:”They used that on you too?”
Dr:”Yep imagine.”she said shaking her head.
Me:”Thank you,for making me laugh even when I didn't
think of smiling.”
Dr:”My job here is done then.”
Me:”You're leaving me?”
Dr:”Don't you need to rest?”she asked raising her
brows,squinting her eyes even.
Me:”Right…using my words against me.”
Dr:”I'll come see you when I'm doing my rounds.”
Me:”I'd love that.”
Dr:”Sure and happy new year.”she said and winked at
me.
She's so silly,I got up and went through my weekender
bag took out my pyjamas,laid them out on the bed then
went to take a shower.
I had no time to make it stinging hot I just wanted to be
back under the covers so I took a quick shower and was
back in my room to lotion and got dressed up.
A nurse came in with my food and meds,I ate and took
my meds and then got under the [Link] had also
packed my phone in the bag so I went through it and
found missed calls from Africa and Anthony and ignored
them,if I were to see either of them it would be too soon.
In no time I was fast asleep.
The next morning before I could wake up,I heard
movement in the room and then voices followed.
Voice1:”And here we are.”
Voice2:”Looks like she's still fast asleep.”
The funny thing was I could make out both these voices.I
thought I told Winters that there should strictly be no
visitors!!!
Voice2:”I'll come back later.”
Me:”No!”I said as I shot up from the bed and removed
my eye mask.
Sweet mother of pearls!!!What's he doing here?!
Dr Winters:”Aaand she's awake.I should leave you both
to [Link] Luthuli?”he nodded.
Dr Winters left and then it was me and Sam in the room.I
see not only did I get my memory back but my past also
made a comeback.
Me:”Babyface?”
Him:”Snuggles?”
Me:”Wow it's been….so [Link]-you must be my
assigned therapist?”
Him:”Yes.”
Me:”Ok…this is awkward.”I said through my teeth.
Him:”Tell me about it.”
Me:”Yeah.”I chuckled nervously.
Then there was a silence.
Him:”You're looking good.”
Me:”Wha…I haven't even taken a bath and I'm sure I
have drool on me.”
Him:”I said that you look good not that if you were all
cleaned up you'd look good.”always ever so blunt!
Me:”Well thank you,you don't look too bad [Link]
finally grew a beard.”I said and we cracked up in light
chuckles.
He really looked good with his specs and bushy
[Link] was in brown chinos and light blue long
sleeve shirt complete with black sneakers.
For the longest time ever when he was in his late teens
he was trying to grow facial hair.I liked his face without
the facial hair it was smooth and made him look good
which is how I gave him the name Babyface.
He even went to the extent of trying to make a “Yes Hair”
which was a reverse of the “No Hair” crème and it turned
out badly,his face was pink and swollen.
The entire week of that incident he didn't go to campus
and I also took time out to look after him.
Him:”Yes I have hair.”
Me:”I liked you better without it.”
Him:”So you don't like it?”
Me:”No I'm saying I liked no hair better,I liked my
babyface.”
Him:”Well I'm no longer babyface.”
Me:”I see that…you know I wondered what I'd do when I
see you.”
Him:”Wow ever so random…well I'm here now,so…what
are you going to do?”
Me:”I actually wanted to punch you in the face.”his
mouth hung.
Him:”Oh my poor babyface.”
Me:”Get outta here.”I lightly punched him.
We both laughed.
Him:”How are you though?”he asked holding my hands
and rubbing his thumb up and down my palm which is
what he used to do back in the day when he wanted me
to open up to him or assure me that things were okay.
Me:”You're really going to ask me that?You've been
briefed mos.”
Him:”Yeah that's me,the luckiest guy ever.I won't have to
take you out,pay for dinner and get an update on your
life but I get to have you open up to me and pay me for
it!”
Me:”Not gonna happen buddy.”
Him:”So you're dismissing me as your therapist?”
Me:”I am about to be a qualified one myself.”
Him:”Oh that,when are you graduating?”
Me:”Some time in April and you know what…I'm inviting
you to my grad party and you can bring your plus
one.”code for are you seeing anyone.
Him:”Thanks for the invite but I'll honour it alone.”
Me:”You don’t have a plus one?”
Him:”No there wasn't ever really anyone after you.”I
swallowed hard.
Me:”Oh?”
Him:”Yes and you,any plus one?”
Me:”Oh me?..errhhh….I…”
“She's engaged.”both me and Sam looked towards the
door and there stood Africa with a bouquet of flowers.
Sam let go of my hands but not before inspecting them
for a rock then he gave me an inquisitive look and I just
brushed him off.
Me:”Uhh…heeeeeey…baby?”I said in a high pitch voice.
Sam:”I'll come in and see you later?”
Me:”Yeah...sure.”
Sam:”Okay..hey man.”he said to Africa and they both
nodded their heads and then Sam left the room.
Africa made his way towards me and placed a kiss on my
cheek.
Him:”These are for you.”
Me:”For me?Ah thank you baby,they're beautiful.”
Him:”Like you.”he said smiling.
Me:”Thanks honey.”
We then both kept quiet,ok this is awkward I turned this
guy down when he proposed.
Him:”Babe?”
Me:”Yes?”
Him:”Who's that guy I walked in on you with?”
Me:”Oh babyfa...erhh Dr Luthuli…he is my uhmm
assigned uhhh therapist.”
Him:”I don't want you seeing him”he says flatly.
Me:”What?”
Him:”I don't want you seeing him.”
Me:”Whoa I am not “seeing him” he is just a therapist
the hospital recommended that I see for the trauma I've
been through…why am I even explaining myself to
you?”he shook his head.
Him:”I get it babe…I'm sorry…it's just when I walked in
you two looked so comfortable with each other and
so…”he heaved a sigh and took a seat.
Me:”And so what?”I asked panicking.
He just put his face in his hands and heaved a sigh.
Him:”Ahhh…and so I panicked okay?I am very insecure
especially after last night.”
Yah neh last night.
Me:”Oh?”
Him:”You didn't say yes.”he said looking ahead at the
wall and then moved his eyes to me.
I opened my mouth to speak but words failed me I could
see the disappointment in his face and it hurt me.
Me:”I-I didn't say no either.”his face lightened [Link]-
oh!!!
Him:”So you're saying yes?”
Me:”NO!”oops did I say that out loud?
Him:”No?”he asked in disbelief.
Me:”Yes…I mean no…I mean not right now baby.”
Him:”That's ok we don't have to get married right
away,we can have a long-term engagement.”
But I don't want to get married to you!!!!
Me:”Baby.”
Him:”You don't want to get married to me do you?”
Me:”Not right now my love.”
Him:”You gave me a false hope then when you agreed to
“new beginnings” damnit you even toasted to it!”he said
getting all worked up.
Me:”Well I didn't know that by that you meant getting
married...baby listen I've gotten a not so great start to
the new year and my head is messed up,literally”
Him:”And here I am going on about what I want,I'm sorry
my love…I'm so sorry.”he said taking my hands in his and
kissing them.
Me:”It's okay I just need to rest and get better.”
Him:”When are you getting out of here?”
Me:”I don't know might be a while,the doctors still need
to run more tests on me.”code for I don't want you to
know!
Him:”Okay I hope it's soon,I can't wait to have you back
home.”
Me:”Ihmmn.”I gave him my cheek as he kissed it.
Him:”I have to get going for work,I'll come around later.”
Me:”Okay have a lovely day at work.”
Him:”Thanks honey,don't miss me too much.”
Me:”I miss you already.”I said in a sing song.
Him:”I'll have someone bring you your King Steer.”
Me:”I'd love that.”he nodded,kissed me once more and
left.
As soon as he was out of sight I sighed out of relief.
I have absolutely nothing to do all day since I'm in
hospital I am so glad that I'll be leaving tomorrow and no
one in my family knows [Link]'ve proven to not be
trusted and I most definitely do not trust them with my
life!
I got out of bed went to have a bath,came back lotioned
and slipped into my sweat pants and a simple light pink
vest.I then had muesli and plain yoghurt for breakfast
and sat in bed.
I was getting restless so I just got out bed and put on my
flip-flops then walked around the ward till I got outside
then took a stroll in the fresh air and got to do some
thinking.
I went back to my room and got my phone.I took it out of
flight mode and as soon as I did missed calls and texts
from the family and a few friends came flooding in.
Speaking of friends I have ones I should have a talk with.
With time on my hands I started binge watching my
favourite crime drama series and after a while I fell
asleep…
Me:”What are you doing here?”I asked shocked when I
wake up to Bab’Zwane sitting in a chair beside me.
He just gave me a creepy look and then smiled looking at
me.
Me:”How did you get in here?There are no visitors
allowed!”I half screamed at him.
At that time I'm feeling for the emergency button to get
a nurse in here and take this man out my room!!!but
dololo button.
Him:”Shh makoti don't make a fuss of things,I'm a very
respected and influential Professor who HAD to see his
daughter-in-law and make sure she's okay.”he smiled
touching my hand and I snatched it away.
Me:”I am not your daughter in law.”I said through my
teeth.
Him:”At least we agree on something,I heard you turned
down my son's proposal…wait no I didn't hear,he came
to me crying saying you turned him down and [Link]
you are done hurting my son!I won't have your good for
nothing sp…”he is trying it!
Me:”I have a PhD in psychology and I am good for it
thank you very much.”he put his hand up to silence me.
Him:”You can throw that in other people's faces not
mine,you are yet to graduate but that's not why I'm
here.”
Me:”Why ARE you here?”I was getting annoyed really.
Him:”I'm here to ask you,no,to tell you to stay away from
my son or I'll make you.”
Me:”Well that's not really a hard one on my end you just
get your son to stay away from me.”
Him:”I actually can but you need to drive him away or I'll
be forced to show him that you're really just a floozy.”
Me:”Excuse me I don't know what you think you have on
me but you most certainly aren't going to..”
Him:”I know about the morning after the Christmas
dinner.”I didn't even really hear what he said I was just
so enraged how dare he?!
Me:”YOU most certainly won't speak down on my name
like that…wait what?”he gave me a smirk.
Him:”Yes I know you went home with the Gumede boy
and spent the whole morning at his place before going
back to my son!”
My eyes widened and my throat immediately went dry.
Him:”And I watched you at the dinner we had,I watched
you being all affectionate with my son and not showing a
flicker of guilt while you know what you've just done.”
Me:”Bab’Zwane I am so sorry.”
Him:”Not as sorry as I am and I'm not the one you should
be apologizing to,my son really loved you,you know.”
Me:”Well some love he's got.”
He cheated on me with his cousin!!!I did not sleep with
my cousin.
Him:”I know he's not perfect but he tried with you and if
he found out about this it will destroy him which is why I
need you to break it off with him or else…”
Me:”With all due respect you don't have to threaten me
to leave your good for nothing son I'd do it even if you
didn't blackmail me.”
Him:”I'm glad we understand each other.”he smiled.
Me:”Thank you now please,leave my room.”
Him:”And you leave my son,get better soon Dr Musa.”he
got up from the chair,tipped his hat and put it on again
and left.
As soon as he left I let out a breath that I wasn't aware I
was holding.
Shit shit shit shit!!!!What was that all about?!What
happened to the “all nice” Bab’Zwane?
I had seriously thought that no one else other than
me,Anthony and Noma knew about the “glorious”
morning we had on the 26th but clearly I had thought
wrong!Me,a whole student of the human psyche!!!But
even with all the books I've studied in psychology I
wouldn't have thought Bab’Zwane would change on me
like that.I mean I knew that he didn't like me of late but
this!Whoa Papa Bear will go to extreme lengths to
“protect” his child.
And I really have no choice now but to break it off with
his son because I know if he were to find out about me
and Anthony he'd do something drastic I know.
Like kill himself?...Yes we both know he could but why
the hell do I care?!He'll at least try to kill himself and
have his father save him,he's done it before and can do it
again.
Damnit!This whole thing is just messing up with my
brain.
I'm disturbed by my phone ringing and I take one look at
the screen and toss it aside.
What does this beautiful demon want?!!All of my
troubles started because of him!!!And to think that yes I
am mad at him but still very much crave for him is
twisted.
My phone rings again and it's King.
Me:”King?”
Him:”Hey Queen.”
Me:”Hey how are you buddy?”
Him:”I should be asking you that...”he said sounding all
worried.
Me:”Don't do that I'm okay,just bumped my head a
little.”
Him:”Okay so like bhut’Anthony wants to talk to you.”
Me:”What?”I asked failing to hide the confusion.
Him:”Yeah he's right here and he asked me to call you
since he couldn't reach you actually the whole family has
been worried and Mrs Hen said she wasn't allowed to
see you when she came to visit.”
Me:”Okay King listen DO NOT give him the phone in fact
just pack a bag and I'll be there to get you
ksasa(tomorrow)”.
Him:”What?Why?”
Me:”Because I said so.I'm your mother,remember?”
Him:”Oh okay.”
Me:”Yes so just bundle up your things and be ready for
me.”
Him:”Is everything okay?”
Me:”Everything's fine.”
“Is she on the line,let me speak to her.”a voice said in the
background and I dropped the call immediately.
I then just put my phone on flight mode and then paced
the room.A lot is just happening all at once.
I was really cracking under pressure and I needed
something else that will put me even more down under.
So I started causing a scene and being hysterical I
dragged the sheets off the bed and scattered the pillows
and it wasn't long before a nurse and a doctor came in
and then I was given a sedative and put straight into a
heavy sleep.
The next morning I woke up and went to take a bath and
wore my Adidas black and white tracksuit with flip-flops.
I tied my hair into a ponytail and put some lip gloss on.
Me:”It is rude to stare.”I said when I felt a presence in
the room.
Him:”How can you still do that?”he said walking into the
room.
Me:”That is for me to know and for you to never find out
Dr Luthuli.”
Him:”That isn't fair.”
Me:”Well life isn't [Link] white coat looks good on
you.”I said straightening his collar.
Him:”I'm sure you'll look better in it particularly with
nothing underneath it.”
Me:”Stop it.”I said and lightly punched him.
Him:”Ooh sorry I shouldn't say that to an engaged
woman.”
Me:”You're right you shouldn't say such to engaged
women but I'm an exception.”
Him:”Why;aren't you engaged?”
Me:”Not at all.”
Him:”That's cool.”
Me:”Yeah so,are you here to see me off?”
Him:”Uhh yes and possibly see you for a coffee date.”
Me:”Oh yeah I'd love that.”
Him:”Great then,I should get going I have an
appointment in the next…10 mins so I have to be on my
way.I have your contact details so I'll see you.”
Me:”Sure.”he kissed my hands and left.
I carried on making myself up and then packed my bag
and called for a cab,no one back home except for King
knows that I am coming back today.
“Hello?”someone said with a scratchy breaking voice.
Me:”Oh I had been waiting for you,come in.”
Anele and Nonz came inside the room and I could see
that Anele was fighting an urge to come hug me I had
heard that she's very tender of late and Nonz on the
other hand looks annoyed.
Me:”I'm glad you could make it.”
Anele:”We were very glad you made contact also.”
Nonz:”Pssh speak for yourself.”she said folding her arms.
Wow salty much?!
Me:”Nonz you don't have to be here my text made it
clear that you should come only if you can and want to.”
Nonz:”I had no choice Anele dragged me here.”
Me:”Well you shouldn't have…”
Anele:”Would you guys just stop it!!!!I'm really tired of
this,Pamella…there's something you should know.”
Nonz:”Anele no!!”she said giving her a death stare.
Anele:”No Nonz this has ruined us!!!”
Me:”It's okay.I know,I know everything.”
Both:”You do?”
Me:”Yes every single thing came back.”
Anele:”Oh Pamella I'm so sorry,we're-we're so sorry we
didn't mean to keep this from you but Mr Dad had pulled
our ears not to tell a soul.”
Me:”Mr Dad?”
Anele:”Yes,he said we shouldn't tell you about all you
had forgotten.I thought you said you knew.”
Me:”And y'all listened to him?Instead of helping
me?Exactly who is your friend between him and I?.”
Anele:”You are but you don't understand…”
Me:”Oh I understand perfectly you couldn't stand your
ground for our friendship.”
Anele:”He compensated us for our silence and made
threats and you know Mr Dad doesn't make idle threats.”
Me:”He compensated you,wha’…so he bought your
silence?”
This just keeps getting better.
Nonz:”Oh Pamella come on get off your high horse
everyone has a price you know this.”
Oh,so it's like that?
My phone beeped.
Me:”Ok,[Link] ride is here.I should get going,thanks
for coming here.”
We all got up together and I grabbed my bag and meds.
Anele:”I hope you can forgive us for this.”
Me:”Hope has never killed anyone.”I said and walked
away.
I heard her gasp but I couldn’t care less,I had bigger fish
to fry back home.
The two were both at my heels as I was walking out.
Anele:”Will we ever be friends ever again?”she asked
with her voice heavy in desperation.
Me:”’I am…was your friend before Mr Dad but you put
him before me so I don’t know where I stand with
y'all,thanks.”I said to the driver as he took my bag to put
inside the car.
Anele:”But we've apologized trust me if we knew better
we would've done better.”
Me:”Yes but you didn't and at most times sorry doesn't
cut it.”
Nonz:”Jesus Pamella you are so self-centered!You know
it's sometimes said that “not everything is about you”
well sadly this was all about you!We did all that we did
for you!To protect [Link] were so hurt when Anthony
broke up with you and for the longest time tried to get
back with him and when he didn't pick up you'd be
[Link] was sad to watch and when you forgot we
chose not to remember.”
Me:”But…but you should have told me…I would've been
able to handle it.”she shook her head and tears fell from
her eyes.
Nonz:”Right now you think you could have because we
didn't tell you and you're mad about it but,don't you see
Pamella??We care about you.”
Me:”I don't know I'll have to think about that,I should be
on my way.”I said and jumped at the back of the cab.
The driver started the car and I just buried my hands on
my face and heaved a deep sigh.
Am I really being selfish by wanting my family and friends
to have told me the truth from the jump?Would I have
been able to take it back then??No I don't think so
because I'd have felt as horrible as I do now so it really
doesn't matter,them withholding things from me just
prolonged the inevitable.
I would've been…
My thoughts are disrupted by my phone [Link]
why is he calling?
Me:”Hello?”
Him:”Hey baby,where are you?”
Me:”What?”
Him:”Yeah I'm at the hospital to see you and they say
you've been discharged?.”
Me:”Ahh yeah but it wasn't meant to be a surprise…for
you.”
Him:”I guess I've ruined it now huh?”
Me:”Yeah.”I said and chuckled lightly.
I still haven't figured out how I'm going to break things
off with him before his Dad breaks my “hoeing” news to
him.
Him:”So where are you?”
Me:”I am…on my way,home?...yes I am on my way
home…to erhhh…fetch my car because remember I left it
there?...yep that's it ,I'm going home to get my car and
then I was going to drive over to the house.”
Him:”Okay I'll meet you there then.”
Me:”You what?”
Him:”I'll meet you over at your house,see you in a few
babe.”
Me:”But….”
He hung up the phone before I could say anymore.
Me:”But I don't want you to go to my house.”I said and
huffed in exasperation.
Driver:”Hang in there ma’am it will be alright.”he said
looking at the road ahead.
Me:”Ahh thanks?”I didn't know what else to say he just
nodded.
This is awkward.I asked him to make a U-turn and just
drive me home.I wasn't headed there in the first place I
was just going to go check in at a hotel and clear my
mind before I could face my family.
I had woken up this morning feeling very angry and
resentful at my family and after having talked to Nonz
and Anele I felt like I was being selfish now,I'm just a ball
of emotions and confused.
If my family is anything to go by I now know it doesn't do
any good to withhold and bottle up issues so I might as
well confront them now and move on.
I want answers maybe if I heard why they did it then
maybe it would feel all…better?
So we drove over to Mr Dad’s,upon arrival I just asked for
a few minutes to stay in the car to collect myself then I
got off and I thanked the driver and before driving off he
stuck out his head and said,
Him:”Just hang in there ma’am.”I just awkwardly waved
back at him and smiled.
He was being very weird and I didn't know if all his
niceness was code for “tip me” or what because I'd
already given him a big fat tip.
I rang the intercom and was let in by the fiancé.As soon
as I got inside the house there were loud voices arguing.
“What do you want here?!”I could make out Mr Dad
asking angrily.
“I am here for Pamella”
“Well she isn't here so again I ask
[Link]?”he hissed and I figured right
there would be the perfect moment to walk in.
Me:”I asked him to be here.”well I didn't really but it was
just to shut up Mr Dad.
The room went dead quiet and then Mrs Mom stood up
from her seat and came to hug me.
Her:”My baby…you didn't tell us you're coming back
today,we would've fetched you.”
Me:”That's the point,I didn't want you to know that I was
getting out.”
Her:”Are you okay babe?”she asked feeling my forehead
and holding me at arms length inspecting me.
Me:”I am fine mom,stop fussing.”
Her:”O-kay…I'm just happy to have you back.”
Sbo:”That makes all of us,hey kid.”
Me:”Hi bro.”we shared a hug.
Sbo:”It's good to have you back kid,had your little
boyfriend had not decided to engage crash Mr Dad’s…”
Mrs Mom:”Sbonelo hhayi(don't)”
I gave him a weird look “little boyfriend?” It is very unlike
Sbo to talk like this.
Sbo:”Oh we're supposed to keep quiet about that?”
Me:”I think you've done enough of that so,no don't keep
quiet at least not at my expense.”he looked at me like I
had grown a third eye.
Sbo:”What?”
Me:”I think we've been keeping quiet for far too long in
this family,we ought to speak so I'll go first…I remember
everything.”
A round of “huh?” went around but only Mr Dad spoke
out.
Mr Dad:”Huh?”
Me:”Yes,I remember every single little thing.I won't need
help to regain my memory not that you were any help
from the beginning but bribing my friends,Dad,what's
that all about?”his mouth opened to speak but nothing
came out his face just fell to the floor.
Mr Dad:”Honey…we did what was best for you.”he
started.
Me:”I've heard that so many times and each time all I
hear is “we we we” what about ME huh?Did you think
how I'd feel if I found out or if I EVER remembered?Or
were you planning on erasing all evidence of that
month?!”I asked raising my voice.
Mrs Mom:”Baby,calm down.”she pleaded.
Me:”No mom!I want answers and I want answers
[Link] didn't anyone say anything?!Noma you sat in
that hospital looking all kinds of relieved that I didn't pass
away and promised to help me remember,what
changed?”
Noma:”We just thought it best that you didn't
know,forgive us that we were too focused on forgetting
that we almost lost you and not on gone and forgotten
memory.”
Me:”That's getting old…and who the hell is
we,Sbonelo,Mom were you also in on this?”
I looked around and everyone just bowed their heads.
Me:”You have got to be kidding me!So day in,day out you
all just watched me frying my brains trying to remember
and you had no intentions of helping me?”
Mr Dad:”It was all to help you honey…”
Me:”Oh cut the bullshit Mr Dad I said remember,which
means I also remember that you broke me and Anthony
off,so me and him not being together and me not
remembering him benefits who really?”
Mr Dad:”It's not like that MaMusa,we just hated seeing
you hurt.”
Me:”Is that what you told yourself so you could sleep
better at night?How did it help really,other than just
prolong the heartache?”
Mrs Mom:”Look at it this way honey,you remember how
you couldn't get over that Gumede boy and then the
accident happened and didn't remember him and finally
you were completely over him.”
Me:”Hardly.”I said rolling my eyes.
Africa:”What do you mean?”
I had even forgotten about him here.
Me:”Nothing,so,who else was in on the “keep pamella
incognito” mission?”
Nobody said anything and this was making me furious.
Me:”And you,why didn't you tell me anything?”I directed
to Africa.
Him:”Because I couldn't watch you fall for another man
while I had gotten your father's blessings.”
Me:”Wait,what?”
Him:”Well your dad came…”
Mr Dad:”Boy if you dare!.”he said giving Africa a deadly
look.
Me:”Oh no Mr Dad you don't get to!”
Mr Dad:”You don't have to hear what he has to
say,nothing truthful could ever come out of his
mouth.”he said in panic,you could see the beads of
sweat on his forehead.
Africa:”Sir,are you calling me a liar?”
Mr Dad:”What's your profession?”the stunned look on
Africa’s face!!!
Mrs Mom:”Hendry that's a low blow,even for you.”
Mr Dad:”I just don't want this boy messing with my
daughter's head,again.”
Africa:”You're a fine one to speak.”he mumbled under
his breath.
Me:”Can we please address the elephant in the room
please?”
Everyone went [Link] damned silence!!!
Me:”Africa,you were saying?”
Africa:”Well back at the hospital when I had accidentally
hit you with my car,I settled your bill and everything then
it happened that I was also admitted at the hospital
remember?”
Me:”I've regained my memory,hello?”
Africa:”Oh yes so uhm the time that I was also admitted
your erhh your father,he came to see me to you know
thank me for paying the bills and not leaving you for
dead when I hit you then he asked me what I did for a
living and said that I'm a great young man.”
Mr Dad:”I take that back.”
Me:”Dad!!!”
Africa:”Yeah well I told him that you're a great person
too and he asked if what I'm saying is true -you being a
great person that is and without a shadow of doubt I said
yes and then he asked me if I liked you and it's weird I
know considering the way I came across you but I did like
you but wasn't sure that I stood a chance with you which
is when he told me that I can and he told me how you
were single and how I'd make the perfect [Link]
then gave me his blessing.
I then started pursuing you, your favourite
flowers,chocolates,all those things I bought for you I got
from him…well I bought them myself but he told me
what you liked.”
Mr Dad:”Stupid boy.”he shook his head.
I just laughed,I laughed really [Link]'s this I'm
hearing?Dad put Africa onto me?
Me:”Wait,what?”
Africa:”Your dad gave me his blessi..”
Me:”I wasn't asking you to repeat it stupid,I'm asking if
it's true…Dad?”
Mr Dad:”MaMusa I-I…”that's all I needed.
Me:”I don't believe you…and you,so you never liked
me?”it would be a relief if he didn't.
Africa:”No,I like [Link] you even,which is why I want
you to marry me.”
Me:”Oh please stop with that…Dad?...I can't believe you
did this.”I was really hurt that he is the one who pushed
for Africa to pursue me.
Mr Dad:”I had thought…”
Me:”HE RAN ME OVER DAD…HE CHEATED ON ME…HE
DISRESPECTED ME AND YOUR HOUSE…HE PUSHED ME
ON THE STAIRS…IS THAT WHO YOU WANT FOR A SON-IN-
LAW???IS THAT WHO YOU WANT FOR YOUR
DAUGHTER?”I asked and just broke down.
Mr Dad:”Baby girl you have to understand he deceived
me too,I had thought he was an okay guy for you.”
Me:”You thought wrong!You broke me up with Anthony
and tried to fix me up with him?Actually where do you
get off match-making me with people?You had no
right,you don’t see me trying to fix up your dating life
although even I think you need a hand because you
mismatched and brought a whole white fiancé home!!!”
Mrs Mom:”We're sorry.”
Me:”Not as sorry as I am,I won't stay around people who
look at me like a broken thing that need to be fixed up
with other people,it was just a little memory loss guys
and y'all acted like I lost a limb and need to “fix me
up”…well you won't have to deal with me anymore.”
Noma:”What do you mean?”
Me:”I'm moving out,where's King?...King?...come down
here we need to leave!!!”I shouted.
Mr Dad:”You don't need to do that.”
Me:”No I don’t,I [Link] me.”I attempted going up
the stairs and Africa grabbed my arm.
Him:”Should I help you pack?”
Me:”No,but you can help me by staying the hell out of
my [Link] sold me a dream whilst you were just Mr
Dad’s right hand man.”don't give me that look I have
been looking for ways to break things off with him and
it's better when he think he's the fault for it.
I walked up the stairs,grabbed my car keys and called out
King from his room and he just showed up with his
[Link] boy!.We just went down and everyone was up
on their feet waiting.
Mrs Mom:”Where will you go?”she asked her voice
breaking.
Me:”I don’t know,I'll [Link],go take the car out the
garage,I'll open the gate.”I said handing him the keys.
Mr Dad:”You don't have to do this.”
Me:”Same as you didn't have to “fix up” my dating life
but here we are.”I said and walked out over to the car.
I got in the backseat and just [Link] heart is so
heavy.I had had plans to walk out on my family but had
no actual intentions to see those plans through,I was just
mad and hoped they'd convince me otherwise.
I just cannot believe Mr Dad helped Africa to court
[Link] he used the moment that I was most
vulnerable,fresh out of hospital recovering from an
accident and remembering nothing and he used that to
his advantage!
I can't put all the blame on just him though I had so
desperately wanted for things to make sense that I
walked right into Africa’s arms because I thought me and
him resonated just because we had both been in the
accident but he wasn't the one that lost anything!
I am disturbed from my train of thought by a knock on
the window,it was Africa.
I was so deep in my thoughts I hadn't realized that the
car hadn't moved at all.
Africa:”Pamella,Pamella,Pamella please open [Link]
need to talk.”
Me:”King just drive.”I said completely ignoring him.
King:”What?”
Me:”Drive please,I need to get out of here.”
King:”But I don't have a driver's license.”
Africa:”Pamella could you please step out the car?!”he
said violently trying to open the door.
Me:”Yes but you are of age and you know how to
drive,so STEP ON IT!”I hissed.
He just shrugged and started the car and we drove out in
[Link] we were on the road I breathed out.
Him:”So…where to,Ms Daisy?”he said and chuckled
nervously.
Me:”We're going to check into a hotel until I find us an
apartment.”
Him:”Okay.”
Me:”Yeah.”and those were the last words we
exchanged,for the rest of the trip we sat in a relative
silence.
I was so lost in my thoughts actually I was drowning in
them.
We got to the hotel and I checked us in in different
rooms.
Him:”Will you be okay in here?”
Me:”Yes King,I just need some shut eye…it's been a long
morning.”
Him:”You didn't have to get me a room you know,I'd
have taken the couch in here.I don't feel too
good…leaving you alone.”he said the last part in a low
voice.
Me:”I'll be okay,I'm a big girl.”I gave him a light smile but
he still looked unconvinced.
So I put his face in my hands and kissed him on the
forehead,he was all tense.
Him:”I heard everything.”
Me:”Don't…please,not now.”
Him:”I'm worried about you.”
Me:”You don't have to be,that's my duty…give me some
time to myself and I'll be okay.”
He nodded and kissed the inside of my left hand and
then sighed.
Him:”Okay.”
Me:”Okay?”
Him:”Yeah.”
Me:”Thank you.”he gave my hand a squeeze and then
turned to leave.
I closed the door behind him and sank to the floor and
then I cried,silently.
I had been biting my tears all this while in front of King,I
don't want him to worry about me.
I spent a good five minutes on the floor and then got up
to run myself a hot bath.
I put bathing oils and salts then stripped down and
buried myself under the bubble bed.
I got out when the water was cold and my toes and
fingertips were all wrinkly,I wrapped a towel around my
body and emptied the bathtub.
Just as I got out the bathroom there was a knock at my
door.
Me:”Cooming!!!.”
I walked over to the door to find King there with a tray of
food.
Me:”Oh it's you.”
Him:”You should eat.”
Me:”O-kay.”I stepped aside as he walked in.
He put the food on the table and then just stood there.
Me:”Uhm…thank you?”
Him:”Oh I'm not leaving till you've eaten.”
Me:”I…need to get dressed.”
Him:”[Link]…okay.I should be on my way then.”
Me:”Yeah buddy.”I showed him the door.
Him:”Mtcheww uyohamb’usinda(you got lucky).”he said
frowning.
I laughed and shook my head as I closed the door behind
[Link] really is trying to cheer me up and I appreciate
the effort.
I slipped in my grey flannel pyjamas and nibbled on the
food then took a nap.
And that was my routine for the rest of that weekend,I'd
wake up,take a hot bath,slip into my pyjamas,eat then
sleep.
The times that I wasn't asleep I was checking out
apartments suitable for my budget that I could get soon.
Nkosi had given up trying to cheer me up,it was cute for
the first day that he kept rocking up at my door but after
a while I got irritable and wanted to be left alone so he
backed off,to be honest I was fast sinking into a dark
place.
Kwanda came by to help me with choosing an apartment
and on Monday we went to check out one that I liked.
It had 2 bedrooms,1 bathroom,kitchen and lounge and
was beautifully furnished and also I wanted a place now
so I put up the deposit and we moved in.
Tuesday morning I woke up with a start because today I
was starting my training.
I took a shower and got done in record time,stepped out
and lotioned.
I put on my all black power pantsuit complete with my
faux crocodile skin pointed heels.
I neatly combed my afro oh I didn't tell you…I took down
the weave during one of my mental breakdowns back at
the hotel,well more like chopped it down.
I just took a pair of scissors and chopped it off careful to
not touch my natural hair,after that I looked a mess
which is what I'd say was a wake up call for me,I couldn't
recognize the person before me and I was self
destructive(still slightly am) but I've decided to leave
everything [Link] like I just stuffed them away at
the far back of my mind.
Me:”Hey buddy,I'm stepping out.”I shouted when I was
walking down the hallway.
To my surprise when I entered the kitchen King was
there.
Me:”Oh I thought you were still asleep.”
Him:”I was up a long time ago,good morning.”he said
pulling a chair for me.
Me:”Thank you,this is nice.”he had made me breakfast.
Him:”It's the least I can [Link] can't go in for your first
day on an empty stomach,now eat.”
Jesus he's so bossy.
Me:”Can't I just have an apple,I really can't stomach
anything in the morning.”
Him:”Have this shake then.”
Me:”Ahh you're a God sent wait,when did you start
making shakes?”I asked with my brows furrowed.
Him:”Since I have to be fit so I can make the cut in the
rugby team at my new school courtesy of Dr Mom.”he
flexed his bicep and winked at me.
Me:”And you better excel at everything because I am
paying loads of money there.”
Him:”I know which is why I also want what's best for
you,which is why I got out of bed early to make that
shake.”he said as I took a sip and almost puked it out.
Me:”Yuck what's in here?.”
Him:”What's that they say “a healthy mind in a healthy
body” yeah,that's a 100% organic vegetable shake for a
doctor of the mind.”
Me:”Haha this tastes like dinosaur pee.I'll take an apple.”
Him:”Right here.”he handed me an apple.
Me:”Thanks I have to get going.”
He saw me out and I drove over to the centre where me
and Nkosi had met,he wasn't necessarily happy that this
was the place I had chosen to do my clinical training
saying “what if you meet another me in there and then
what?”.I told him that there is no one else like him,he is
King and I'm grateful for [Link] is the only thing that
keeps me from going insane.
My supervisor this time wasn’t Dr Winters but a Dr
McGuire and I call him McGuy because I can't pronounce
his surname.
Because licensure is mandated at the state
level,graduates may or may not be required to complete
post-doctoral training in their jurisdiction.
Licensure requirements vary state-by-state but are
generally quite similar and include graduating from an
accredited doctoral program,completing a set number of
hours in supervised experience and successfully passing
an examination.
So in addition to having studied soooo many years I have
to complete at least 3,000 hours worth of supervised
experience and then also pass the Examination for
Professional Practice in Psychology administered by the
Association of State and Provincial Psychology
Boards,just to get a [Link]?(why do I have to
suffer like this though?)
Ok so back to McGuy him and I were walking around and
something I was doing absentmindedly I was taking the
same steps as he,figuratively and literally I wanted to
walk in his footsteps and be a great psychologist.
While were walking around and him showing me around
he was also giving me words of wisdom.
Him:”[Link] you made a great choice by coming here
to the 100th Second Chance Rehabilitation and Mental
Health Center,it's a fruitful place with a variety of people
to work with.”
Me:”I know,which is why I've come back.”
Him:”Oh you've been here?”
Me:”Yes sir,it was on my résumé.”
Him:”Oh I didn't quite look much into that I was more
interested in you as a person and 3 things I picked up
from you during our interview is your integrity,ethics and
passion to succeed and also the desire to help others
which is what's important [Link] degrees and
everything are just an academic necessity.”
I smiled and nodded the whole of that day I was
shadowing him and then the next day he'd be sitting in
when I get to work.
Just as I was walking out of the centre I thought I heard
someone call for me so I turned and there he was.
Him:”Hey Pamella I thought that was you.”
Me:”Hi,Sam what are you doing here?”
Him:”Oh I work here.”
Me:”You do?”
Him:”Yeah and you,what are you doing here?”
Me:”Oh I'm doing my post doctoral training here.”
Him:”That's cool,were you on your way?”
Me:”Uhm yeah.”
Him:”How about we grab a late lunch?”
Me:”O-kay yeah,I'd love that.”
Him:”Great…after you.”he said holding the door for me.
We stepped out and walked over to the parking lot.
Him:”Is that you?”he asked pointing at my Jeep.
Me:”Yep.”I said beaming.
Him:”Mr Dad got it for you didn't he?”I felt a lump in my
throat.
Me:”Yeah.”
There was an awkward silence and then he asked me
where I want to eat then I told him and we both drove
out in our cars,him first then me behind him.
At a headlight I texted King.
“I'll be coming home later than expected,don't wait up.”
“Guess I'll be having all these smoothies alone”he put a
mopping face.
“Oh please knock yourself out.”I added a green about to
puke face.
“Haha kidding I'll order in,take care.”he blew me a kiss.
“Later buddy.”I sent him a heart.
I then kept on driving and got so mad when we drove
past the place I had said I wanted to go eat.
I hooted and Sam hooted back and I could imagine him
smiling his mischievous side dimple smile and surprisingly
I found myself smiling too.
We continued driving for a while and then he stopped at
my favourite steakhouse and I smiled to myself when I
realized that this is the place I'd have preferred to eat at
to begin with.
I parked and when I came out he was already by the
entrance waiting for me.
Me:”How did you know I'd have loved to come eat out
here?”I said when I reached him.
Him:”Because I still know you like the back of my
hand.”he said and opened for me to get in and he got in
behind me.
We walked together and he had his hand at the small of
my back as he ushered me to a table for two.
Ever the gentleman he pulled a chair for me before
taking his seat then ordered chapel red wine for the
table.
Me:”I didn't realize how much I needed this, thanks.”I
said to him as we were busy eating and chatting.
Him:”I've always known you better than you knew
yourself.”I rolled my eyes at him.
Then he kept quiet and stared at me.
Me:”What?”
Him:”You have something on the side of your mouth.”
Me:”Oh thanks.”I said and tried wiping it.
Him:”No,not that side…here,let me.”he said and tenderly
wiped it off for me.
Me:”Thank you.”h nodded.
I got back to eating and I could feel his gaze burning into
my hands that I almost dropped the cutlery on the
[Link] a long while he shifted on his seat and cleared
his throat.
Him:”So,the 100th Second Chance.”he said and we both
cracked up.
Me:”I know right.”
Him:”Yeah,how's everything?”
Me:”Oh everything is great I totally love the centre.”I
said taking a sip of my wine.
Him:”No I mean how's everything with you?You haven't
talked about your family not once since we sat down.”
I'd been avoiding this topic the whole evening not only
because I didn't want to talk about my family which is a
given but because I don't know how everything is,I'm just
going through the motions while avoiding my family who
call non stop I'm even considering changing my numbers
but I can't because that's the number I gave to King’s
school or do I just like them(my family) calling me and
me ignoring them just so they could feel how I feel?
Any ways back to the late lunch with Sam.
Me:”I don't want to talk about them.”
Him:”Okay then what about the accident?”
Me:”Not as yet.”he nodded.
Him:”Okay.”
I loved how he knew my boundaries and when not to
push it.
Him:”So have you been seeing any guy?”and I don't love
that he never knew how to keep his mouth shut.
Me:”Yes,I've been with someone.”
Him:”Is he the fiancé?”
Me:”Sam!”
Him:”What???....Did you sleep with him?”he asked
raising his brow.
Me:”Samkelo!!!”
Him:”Oh come on dude you haven't answered any of my
questions.”
Me:”I wouldn't have to not answer if you didn't ask such
questions!”
Him:”That isn't fair.”
Me:”Well,we are adults okay so…”I said and took a long
sip.
Him:”Well was he good?”I just about choked on my drink
and I widened my eyes at him and he gave me a “what?”
look almost shrugging his shoulders.
Me:”You know you were my first and I thought you were
the best because I didn't have anything else to compare
you with but with him…it felt right,it felt like that is who
it should be with.”I said back paddling to the 26th of
December.
Him:”Well that's deep…you must really love this guy.”if
what I had said hurt him,he didn't show it.
Me:”Yeah but,it's complicated.”
Him:”Just know nothing worth having ever comes easy.”
Me:”When did you become so wise?”
Him:”Try being separated from your family for years.”
Me:”Hey you should try to go see Zuko.”
Him:”Yeah I should and thank you Pamella for being
there for him,when I chose to be a coward and ran away
from my responsibilities.”
Me:”Don't sweat it.”
Him:”But do you think he'll accept me,do I still have a
chance with him?”he said his voice laced with worry.
I held his hand over the table.
Me:”Hey that boy is a great kid and if you don't force it
he'll accept you and he's a replica of you so that's a good
going.”
“You again!”an all too familiar voice hissed.
I looked up to find Africa hovering over us looking at our
hands together with his veins almost popping.
Me:”Africa.”
Africa:”Pamella,what's going on here?”
Me:”I'm having lunch now can you excuse us?”I said
totally dismissing.
Africa:”We need to talk.”
I ignored him and then he tried to get me off the chair
pulling me by [Link] rushed to my side.
Sam:”Aye man don't do that.”
Africa:”Please dude back away from this,this is between
me and her.”
Sam:”Sure I get that but you are drawing unnecessary
attention and if she says he doesn't want to talk to you
then let her be,rather than embarrass the woman who
loves you in front of all these people,take it from me
man.”
I saw a ghost of a smile creep into Africa’s face then he
let go of my arm.
Oh no Sam has this all wrong,he must think I was talking
about Africa but I wasn't.
Me:”Sam thanks for the lunch,I'll see you tomorrow at
work.”
Sam:”The pleasure’s all mine.”
Africa:”You work with this guy?”
Me:”Can I talk to you outside?”I said and started out
ahead of him.
He was right at my heels when I stepped out.
Me:”Firstly I don't appreciate what you did inside there
and secondly I'm so glad I ran into you so I could give you
this…the car keys to Gitty…I mean your car.”
Him:”You don't have to give her back she's in your
name.”
Me:”Well I have no use for her.”
To be honest I had wanted to give both cars back to the
people that gave them to me but decided to keep the
Jeep since it's my dream car and it would take me a long
while for me to buy my own.
And in IsiZulu we say “inhlanhla ayibuyiselwa” you can't
take back what's been given/handed to you.
Him:”If you're worried about her insurance and
fuel,don't worry I've got it covered,infinitely.”
Me:”That's the thing,I don't want anything from you.”
Him:”Pamella please.”
Me:”No don't even begin to beg me because I won't hear
any of it.”
Him:”Okay but keep the car.”he said and put the keys
into my hand closing it with his and then he kissed me on
my forehead and walked away.
I stayed glued to that spot for a while before walking
over to my car and driving back home.
When I got there I found King sleeping on the couch with
the t.v. on.
I took off my shoes at the door and then walked over to
switch off the t.v. and pulled the throw to cover him then
I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine
and took it with me to my room.
I threw my bag on the bed and took off my jacket and
walked out to the bathroom to run myself a bath.
I watched the water as it filled up and with my glass still
on hand I just sank to the floor and sat there quietly.
I had expected Africa to get loud and boisterous about
the car issue because that's what he does but he just
handled the whole thing differently.
I got up from the floor the same time that the tub filled
up and my glass was empty,I took a bath,got out and
didn't even lotion when I got to my room I just slipped in
my short pyjamas,tied my doek and got under the
covers.
The next morning I was woken up by my human
alarm,King.
I had overslept.
Me:”Thank you so much,you shouldn't wake up so early
though schools aren't open as yet.”
They're opening on the 17th of January.
Him:”Well someone's got to do it since you can't.”
Me:”Get out of here.”
Him:”I found this in the bathroom this morning.”he said
waving up my wine glass.
I just carried on drinking my coffee.
Him:”I'm worried about you.”
Me:”It was just a night cap,I need to get going.”I got off
the chair and fixed my below the knee cream brown
pants paired with a faded light blue shirt which wasn't
buttoned up all the way then I put my black pointed
heels with a gold detail.
I drove to work and did my rounds with McGuy sitting in
then I grabbed lunch at the canteen and got back at it.
My last patient for the day was a girl named Thembisa
and her story is very interesting.
She had been with her husband for 15yrs and the last
years of what was their marriage were horrible when he
developed a gambling problem and turned into an
abusive alcoholic.
Initially she was meant to be in prison for having cut off
her husband's penis in his sleep then burying it in a ditch
but she was found mentally unstable so they sent her
here to the 100th Second Chance.
We didn't have a great chat with her as she had a bitchy
attitude but tomorrow's still a day.
I knocked off and like yesterday Sam offered me food but
today he was cooking for me.
Again I sent King a text and he just threw a fit saying “this
is becoming a habit of late ,I hope you won't come back
home [Link] can't run from your problems,that’s
what you told me you know.”
That statement really hit home because even though I
wouldn't admit it I was using Sam as an escape from
reality.
Him:”Here taste this.”
Me:”Aww aww aww it burns.”I smacked the spoon and it
landed on my shirt and slid down my pants leaving a
horrible stain.
Him:”Jeez I'm so sorry,let me get that.”he tried to wipe it
off but was only making it worse.
Me:”Stop.”
He didn’t.
Me:”I said stop!”I raised my voice a little.
Him:”Sorry I was just trying to help.”
Me:”Well you're not helping just show me your closet.”
Him:”2nd door on your right.”
Me:”Thanks.”
I walked into his bedroom and rummaged his closet for a
t-shirt and when I found the longest one I put that and
slipped out of my clothes.
I went back to the kitchen.
Him:”I know it's inappropriate to say but you look good
in just that.”
Me:”Yeah just shut up then.”I could hear him muffle a
laugh.
Him:”Whoa have I awoken Thunderbolt?”I just about
rolled my eyes to the back of my head then he doubled
over with laughter.
Thunderbolt is what he used to call me when I was mad
or when he'd made me mad.
Me:”Not now devil.”
Him:”Dinner will be ready in a few.”
Me:”I'll be in the lounge,I don't trust you with my
clothes.”I took my glass of wine and went.
Him:”I like you dirty.”he shouted behind me and I gave
him the middle finger and heard him gasp.
I went to the lounge and after a while he came out with
our food,we ate while catching up.
We finished up the food and I offered to do the dishes
while he catches up with a cricket match.
I stepped out of the kitchen with a dishcloth wiping my
hands.
Me:”Aren't you going to get that?”
Him:”What?”
Me:”Someone's at the door.”
He looked at me dumbfounded.
Me:”Never mind I'll get it,are you expecting someone?”
Him:”No,are you?”
I gave him a bored look and he laughed.
I opened the door and got the surprise of my life.
Me:”Sbonga?”
Sbonga:”Hey Pamella,is Sam in?”
Before I could answer Sam was at my side.
Sam:”My brother.”they shoulder bumped.
Sbonga:”I'm not interrupting anything am I?”he said
looking at me up and down.
Sam:”Nahh man come on in.”
Sbonga:”Really,so Pam is just missing her pants?”my eyes
widened.
Me:”Sorry,I should get dressed up.”I said and half ran to
Sam’s bedroom.
I heard Sbonga laugh behind me and I also heard him say,
Sbonga:”Damn bro you haven't been back in town two
minutes and you're already hitting that old thang.”
Sam:”Shut up man,what's wrong with you?”
Well that's Sam's little brother for you,unfiltered!
I quickly put on my pants and kept the t-shirt on because
my shirt was stained beyond anything,I just stuffed it in
my bag.
Me:”I will be on my way.”I said when I got to the living
room.
Sam:”You don't have to go.”
Me:”No I must,I left my child at home.”
Sam:”You have a kid?”he asked shocked.
Me:”Thanks for dinner.”I picked up my shoes and went
out.
Sbonga:”It was nice seeing you Pammy.”he said in a sing
song way behind me and I feel like I couldn't get out
there fast enough.
I half ran till I got outside and bumped into someone and
dropped my bag and shoes.
Me:”I'm so sorry.”I said as I bent down to pick up my
stuff.
Person:”No I'm sorry,I should've looked where I'm
going,here.”
I got up so I could see this soft spoken yet bass rich man.
Me:”Thanks.”I said trying to take my shoes from him and
then a familiar exciting shock ran to and fro as our hands
touched then I looked from his hand to his face and so
did he.
Him:”Pamella?”
Me:”Anthony?”
Him:”I've been looking for you.” he said looking all kinds
of relieved.
Well I've been not looking forward to see you!
Chapter 15
Him:”Can we talk?”he pleaded with his eyes.
My hand was still in his and we just stood there,I was
still fazed that he was actually here in front of me and
then I heard heavy footsteps running in the near
distance.
Sam:”Pam thank God I caught up with you,why did you
run off like that…wait…what's going on here?Pam who's
this guy?”he said as he came near me and stood beside
me looking down at my hand in Anthony's.
I quickly took it back.
Me:”This is…”
Anthony:”I'm her fiancée.”he said boldly.
Sam:”What?”
Me:”What?!”I asked mirroring his confusion.
Anthony:”Anthony Gumede.”he said putting his hand
out.
Sam:”Doctor Samkelo Luthuli.”he said returning the
handshake.
O-kay!
Anthony:”Nice knowing you man.”
Sam:”Same here dude.”
Anthony:”Babe,shall we?”
Me:”Uhmn…ok…Sam,I'll see you [Link] for
dinner.”
Sam:”Anytime.”he pulled me to him and I bumped on his
chest then he enveloped me in a hug and kissed the top
of my head.
Me:”Thanks.”I said when I pulled back.
Sam:”Will you be okay out here?”he said looking at
Anthony.
I saw Anthony clenching his jaws.
Me:”Yeah.”
He nodded and then turned to leave but kept looking
back at us and I'd wave back at him and smile for
reassurance and as soon as he was out of sight I shifted
my attention back to my supposed fiancée.
Me:”My fiancée?”I asked in that “really?” tone.
Him:”A doctor?”I scoffed and rolled my eyes to the back
of my head.
Me:”You said you wanted to talk,in fact what are you
doing here?”
Him:”Looking for you.”
Me:”What?”
Him:”I came here looking for you,we've all been looking
for you and trying to reach you with no success.”
Me:”We?Who's we?”
Him:”Your family and I, we've been…”I shook my head
and chuckled lightly.
Me:”I should've known.”
Him:”What's that supposed to mean?”
Me:”You do anything my family asks of you right?”
Him:”What?No.”
Me:”So why did you break up with me when my dad
asked you to?”I asked coolly.
I'm handling this so much better than how I had
envisioned it in my head I had thought when I was to
ever confront him I'd just break down and throw insults
at him but no.
Him:”How did you…”he asked in a low voice.
Me:”They didn't tell you did they?They didn't tell you
why I'm not answering their calls?”
Him:”No.”
Me:”Yet you came out here to find me,why am I
surprised?...I don't have time for this.”I shook my head
and turned to leave and then I felt him grab me.
Him:”Okay Pamella wait up,I've been tailing you for the
past 2 days and have BEEN waiting for a moment to talk
to you alone in between all these men.”
Me:”You what?”
Him:”Look your family wanted to know where you are so
they asked me to help and I used your phone number to
track you.”
Me:”That's sick.”
Him:”Sure it is,your family has been worried sick about
you.”
Me:”Oh my God can you stop with those people!Unlike
you I don't report to [Link] how dare you,how dare
you follow me around and then have the nerve to
comment on who I'm [Link] can't speak on that
when YOU walked out on ME and got on with another
person the very next minute!!!”I hissed.
As what I had said hit him his face was struck to the floor.
Him:”Pamella…it's not what you think,I tried to stop you
so I can explain but I wasn't fast enough because you just
disappeared into thin air.”
Me:”I got into an accident.”I said and my throat
immediately dried.
Him:”I know and I felt like shit because I realized that you
were running from me.”
Me:”Running from you and your girlfriend.”I said with my
voice breaking.
Him:”Me and my girlfrie…what?You think that the girl
was my…oh no you have it all wrong.”I just folded my
hands and looked at him.
Me:”I lost my memory,I didn't remember [Link] didn't
remind me.”
Him:”Your family caught wind of how you came to blindly
run into the middle of the road and I was told to stay
away from you.”
Me:”Not this shit with my family again!!!”
Him:”You don't understand I had to respect their wishes,I
had hurt you already.I wanted you to heal I didn't want
to confuse you.I tried by all means to keep away from
you.”
Me:”Well you didn't try hard enough but practice makes
perfect [Link] keep on trying to stay the hell away from
me till you get it right!I can't believe I fell for you,even
worse I SLEPT WITH YOU!and still you didn't say
anything.”
Him:”MaMusa if you could just let me explain.”I put my
hand up for him to step back as he tried to touch me.
Me:”You had plenty of time to do that in between
getting in my pants and claiming you love me.”
Him:”You don't understand I do love you.”he said his
voice thick with emotion.
Me:”Save it.”
I turned and without giving him a chance to say any more
I jogged to my car and got inside then just sat there and
wailed!!!
After having calmed down I drove straight home and got
in bed without taking my clothes off.
The next day I woke up and went to work.I think King is
mad at me because he didn't wake up to make me
breakfast and also he didn't respond to me when I
knocked in his room.
I feel like I'm being selfish I took him out the centre only
to abandon him out here,I need to spend more time with
him starting today when I knock off.
There was a knock on McGuy’s office and I called for
whoever it was to get in as I was going through my notes.
I felt a presence before me and I picked up to find Sam
standing there looking at me.
Him:”Do you have a minute?”
Me:”Uhm…yeah…sure.”I showed him a seat.
Him:”I just came in to check if you're okay.”
Me:”I'm great thanks and you?”
Him:”I'm [Link],what was that about?”
Me:”If you could please,let's not talk about that.”
Him:”Why?”
Me:”It's complicated.”
Him:”Un-complicate it for me then.”
Me:”Sam please,this isn't the time nor place.”I pleaded
with him I know how persistent he can be.
Him:”Ok let me take you out later then.”I shook my head
he just threw his hand in the air.
Me:”I'm sorry today isn't good,I have to be home early.”
Him:”For the kid?”I nodded.
Me:”Yes so it will have to be some other time.”
Him:”I can live with that but hey about the kid…when did
you have him/her.”
Me:”That would be all thank you very much Dr Luthuli.”I
got up from my seat and went around and got him up
out of his then led him out.
Him:”Okay okay okay,I'll leave but this isn't over.”I closed
the door on his face then walked over to the table to
prepare for my next patient.
The rest of the day played out well I had very productive
sessions with my two patients and at the end of the day
after having to avoid Sam I drove home but first passed
by a drive thru and got large burgers and sodas and fries
and buffalo wings.
Me:”Hey buddy I've got food!”I shouted excitedly as
soon as I got in and placed everything on the kitchen
counter.
There was no answer though but I know King is home
because the door wasn't locked.I went over to his room
and his door was slightly [Link] was in his bed with
headphones on and seeing that he couldn't hear and
wasn't aware of what was happening in the apartment,I
decided to pull his leg.
I just barged in his room and started screaming,
Me:”King!King!We've been robbed!.”I said all breathy
and he jumped out his bed.
Him:”WHAT?!”
Me:”Where have you been?!Everything in the lounge is
gone!”
Him:”Shit!This is all my fault.”he flew out his room and
into the lounge while I ran behind him.
Me:”Gotcha!”I said sticking out my tongue and started
laughing.
He saw that everything was still in place and bent over
forwards putting his face in his hands and sighed out of
relief.
Him:”That wasn't funny.”he said with a serious face.
Me:”Oh come on man it was a joke and I got you pretty
good BUUUUT guess what I've got also…”
I went to the kitchen and came back with the food.
Me:”I've got us our favourite beef burgers in LARGE!”
Him:”I don't eat any of that anymore.”
Me:”What?”I asked failing to mask my confusion I mean
this is OUR favourite food.
What does he mean he “doesn't eat any of that
anymore”?!
Him:”I'm trying to make the cut for the rugby team so
I've also cut out all those fast food,if you were actually
home you'd know that.”he said and put his headphones
back on and disappeared into the hallway.
Me:”Oh but…but I do know you want to make the rugby
team.”I said in a low voice as he shut the door to his
room.
Now I was left feeling like crap and with a load food that
even I didn't want anymore.
I just put it in the fridge and ate a slice of cake instead.
How could I even begin to think I can buy King’s time
with food???He's too grown for bribes and probably
doesn't even need me anymore.
Here I am young as I am sitting in front of the t.v. feeling
like the world's biggest dummy on a Friday!!!I should be
out there playing with other kids and living my best life.
Speaking of getting out there I decide to text Sam and
take him up on his offer to take me out but it will be
brunch not dinner.
And so Saturday comes and I get ready to go out,as I am
busy King walks in.
Him:”Can I talk to you for a second?”
Me:”Yeah sure.”
Him:”Uhh…I wanted to apologize for the way I acted
yesterday,it was uncalled for.”he said looking down
playing with his fingers and I took them in my hands.
Me:”It's okay I'm to blame,I haven't been spending
enough time with you.”
Him:”We can do it today,you're off work right?”he asked
all smiling and I felt a stab in my heart.
Me:”I-I can't today.”his face fell.
Him:”Oh,going somewhere?”I nodded.
Me:”I'll only be a few minutes.”
Him:”Who are you going out with?”
Me:”A colleague.”don't give me that look!There's
absolutely nothing going on between me and Sam.
Him:”The one you've been going out with everyday?”I
nodded and felt ashamed of myself.
He just said “ok enjoy” and then walked out.
“Good going Pamella,2 days in a row you've let the boy
down.”my subconscious proclaimed.
I just huffed in exasperation and sat back down in
[Link] I was stuck between staying at home and
cancelling on Sam or going out anyways.
If I cancel on Sam he'll just want to come over and I'm
already dressed up so I might as well or maybe I'm
making an excuse just so I can be out?
Whatever,I'd promised myself that I'll get out there and
live my [Link] me to be selfish just for today.
You bet I drove out and met up with Sam.
Him:”So,two fiancé’s and a kid huh?”
Me:”Oh please.”I said rolling my eyes.
I had eased up a little bit then when I had came in here,I
was feeling bad for having left King like that.
Him:”Come on Pamella,out with it.”
Let me tell you guys something,Samkelo loves to “discuss
and be kept in the loop” which is code for gossip,he
didn't want me to put it like that but yeah we used to
gossip like our pillow talks back then used to be so fire!
He likes to discuss things and when he catches a whiff of
something he wants to know the whole 4 pages,so I
know he won't let this one go.
Me:”I just…I don't know where to start.”
Him:”From the start.”I gave him the bull’s eye and he
mouthed sorry.
Maybe this is what I need,to tell someone else about
what's been going on in my life instead of just bottling
things up plus Sam was to be my therapist so this is like a
session off the record.
I heaved a sigh and then began telling him everything
from when I started dating Anthony,to Mr Dad and his
father breaking us up,to seeing him with another girl and
getting into accident and meeting Africa,losing my
memory,falling off with my friends up till now that I've
regained my memory and how my family couldn't help
me with that.
Him:”Whoah that's hectic but how come you have a kid
and 2 fiancé’s?”
I didn't tell him about Africa cheating and being suicidal
also I didn't tell him about sleeping with Anthony or
exactly why me and my family are in a bad space.
Me:”Oh I adopted him and with the dudes one proposed
to me on New Year's Eve and the other one I don't know
his story he says he loves me and wants me to be part of
his future.”I scoffed.
Him:”Shoot we all messed up didn't we?”
Me:”Yeah I sure know how to pick y'all.”he rolled his
eyes and then his face was all serious.
Him:”We haven't even been through the first month of
this new year yet you've dealt with so much.”
Me:”Tell me about it.”I said shaking my head and looking
up to avoid the tears from falling.
Him:”You don't have to be all tough with me,you do
know it's okay to not be okay right?”
Me:”It's just…it's just all too much all at once and I feel
like I'm suffocating and I have no one to talk to,I feel like
I'll lose my mind…it's all a big mess.”I just let the tears fall
and felt his hand cover mine on top of the table.
Him:”Hey look here,I'm here for you I always will ok?”he
asked and I nodded.
Then we just fell into a silence with the our eyes on the
other as he kept gently rubbing his hand over [Link]
then brought his face forward and tried to kiss me.
Me:”Sam no,we can't do this.I can't do this to you.”
Him:”I know what I'm doing.”I shook my head.
Me:”I'm kind of a mess right now.”
Him:”A hot mess.”
Me:”And not looking for anything right now.”I say
matter-of-fact.
Him:”I understand but I just hate seeing you like this,I
care for you and while I can't be there for you as a
boyfriend can I at least be a friend?”
Me:”I could use that.”
Him:”Yes ma’am use me!.”he said in an animated voice.
I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my mouth.
Him:”There's that beautiful smile,don't be looking so sad
babe you'll pull through this.I know you.”
Me:”Thank you for being here,I appreciate it.”
Him:”It's why I came back,are you done here?”
I looked at our table and we'd gotten through our food
and drinks and I was ready to call it a day so I said yes
and he flagged down a waiter.
Him:”Let me get the bill and we'd be on our way.”
Me:”But…”
Him:”Don’t worry I've got it.”
I had offered to pay because I'm the one who suggested
that the date be today which is how he agreed to go out
but also because he'd paid the first time and cooked
dinner the second time around but ever the gentleman
he paid our bill and we were on our way.
Me:”Thanks for brunch.”I say as we're standing beside
my car.
Him:”Anything for you.”
Me:”What did they give you in the U.K.?”I asked feeling
his forehead,he smacked my hand away.
Him:”A whole lot of time to myself and by myself,I was
alone and got to revaluate my whole life.”
Me:”Shame man my poor babyface.”
Him:”Hey I have to get going,Sbonga is waiting on me.”
Me:”That little pest.”
Him:”He was dropped on his head you shouldn't mind
hi,listen I should be on my way.”
He said and came to stand before me and pulled me into
a hug,kissing the top of my head.
Him:”I loves you porgy.”he said quoting my favourite
Nina Simone song and I just smiled sheepishly.
Me:”Although you're looking all scruffy and all,you're still
my babyface.”I said ruffling his beard.
He kissed the inside of my hand and then turned to
leave,I watched as he walked away and only when he
was out of sight did I get into my car and drove home.
King was confined in his room so I also got in mine and
stayed in bed until I couldn't keep my eyes open
anymore and I fell asleep.
The next day I woke up I the middle of the day and just
tidied up my room before freshening up and heading to
the kitchen.
There was a maddening silence in the apartment that I
couldn't take anymore so I just went over to King’s room
so we could [Link] we didn't spend yesterday together
but today is still a day also.
Just as I was about to knock on his door he beat me to it
and opened up looking all fresh.
Me:”Oh hi there.”
Him:”Hi?”
Me:”Hi,I wanted to know how would you like it if we
went out today to eat healthy!”I said punching the air all
excited.
Him:”I am already going out with some friends.”
Me:”What…you have friends?”he shook his head.
Him:”I don't have time for this look,I'm going out don't
wait up for me.”he said and lightly pushed me aside
when he walked out.
I stood there with egg on my face and walked over to my
room to also get dressed and go out because being alone
in this place will drive me up the walls I swear.
Me:”Yes I'll die alone.”I said in a low voice thick with
emotion.
Waiter:”No ma’am I asked if you'll dine alone not…die
alone.”my eyes widened.
My this must be embarrassing!
Me:”Oh yes uhm I'll dine alone.”I said looking
everywhere but at the waiter.
He nodded and went away.I was now in a restaurant
looking to just spoil myself with a lovely dinner and some
dessert and go home.
“Can I?”I heard a voice asking.
Me:”No I'm dining alone.”I said not even raising up my
head to see who it was.
“MaMusa.”I snapped my head up and just about got off
my seat.
Me:”What are you doing here?Are you following me?”
Him:”Not anymore,I just came here to eat.”
Me:”Well this table has been taken so on to the next
one.”
Him:”I'll just be a minute,I need to talk to you.”
Me:”I don't have anything to say to you Anthony
Gumede.”
Him:”You don't have to,I'll do the talking.”
I laid back on my chair and brought my arms to my chest
and gave him the “carry on” look.
Him:”First of,how are you?”he asked worry in his face.
I wasn't even moved,I didn't say anything.
Him:”So you'll really let me do the talking?”
I just gave him a look and he huffed in exasperation and
then continued to talk apologizing for this and that.
Me:”Anthony I didn't remember you and you didn't try to
remind me,yet here you are claiming to love me.”
Him:”I do love you and I didn't want to come up to you
and be like “hey it's me the jerk guy whom you're madly
in love with but I broke your heart” that couldn't have
worked.”
Me:”And so what,you chose to deceive me?”
Him:”No I wanted for you to know me as a person I
couldn't just be there saying we were great together and
I messed it up,it would've been too confusing for you.”
Me:”Thanks that was very considerate of you.”
Him:”Don't be like that MaMusa I'm very sorry but I love
you and would do just about anything to have you back,I
lost you before well not again.”
Me:”You lost me and didn't waste time to be with the
next person so I don't understand what you want here
because you've already gotten into my pants.”oh that
glorious memory has long been tainted.
Him:”Pamella I didn't just bed you,I made love with you
because that’s who it should be with and I like you better
in my pants but that's not the point,I was a jerk and I see
that [Link] that girl you saw me with is a colleague not
my girlfriend.”
Me:”You expect me to believe that?”
Him:”Not exactly which is why I've set up for you and her
to meet.”
Me:”You want me to meet your girlfriend?”that's
another level of crazy.
Him:”She isn't and that's what I'll prove to you.”
Me:”Okay then,Tuesday evening I'll have time on my
hands.”
Him:”And that's all I need.”
Me:”If that would be all.”I said getting up.
Him:”Where are you going?”
Me:”You can have the table,I've lost my appetite.”I say
and walk out.
And so Tuesday evening and I was scheduled to meet up
with Anthony and his female “colleague” is that what
we're calling it these days?
To tell you the truth I'm not entirely sure why I'm doing
all this but I've told myself that it's so I can get closure
and move on.I'd feel real shitty if I were to find out that
she wasn't really his girlfriend and that I had ran away for
nothing straight into the arms of my nightmare.
I'm running a little late so I just get up from the mirror
and fix my blue solid pockets above the knee dress and
grab my purse and hurry out.
I get to the restaurant and I am led to “our” table and as
we're walking towards I see my acquaintances already
seated and laughing together.I feel my heart sink to my
knees and already regret coming here?
What was I really thinking?They look so comfortable with
each other and it was as if everything was in slow motion
as I watched them laughing and the woman touching his
shoulder now and again.
Anthony had his back to me so he couldn't see me but
when I was about to turn and go back home that's when
he turned around and waved for me to go over to them.
He thanked the waiter and then turned to me.
Him:”There you are.”he said and pulled me in for a hug.
Lord he smelled so great!
We pulled back and the other woman was on her feet.
Him:”MaMusa this is Melody and Melody this is
Pamella.”
Me:”It's nice to meet you.”I said and she smiled fondly at
me before taking my hand.
Her:”Dr Musa it's nice to finally meet you,I've heard a lot
about you…even when I wasn't listening.”she said and
threw Anthony a look and he also gave her a look and all
this unspoken language between them was making me
all uneasy.
I didn't come here to be a third wheel.
Me:”Only good things I hope.”
Her:”Yes but not of late.”
Me:”Oh?”
Her:”Yes Gumede here told me that you thought me and
him were an item?”
Me:”Ah well…”
Her:”Don't worry darling you wouldn't be the first to
think so everyone back at the office thinks we're
[Link]'s not really that deep honey he's just my work
husband,you don't need to worry about anything.”
Me:”Oh I'm not worried about anything.”
Her:”Are you sure,because that's not what I heard?Now
let me tell you honey there is nothing that turns a man
off more than an insecure woman.”ok I don't like her
tone.
Him:”Mel no,this isn't about that.”he said pleading with
her.
Her:”You see that,how he came into your
defence?Honey this man loves you,he doesn't keep his
mouth shut about you.”
Me:”Well I wouldn't know.”
Her:”Which is why you have me,this man is for keeps
honey trust me,I'd know.”she said and then laughed a
little and so did Anthony.
You couldn't deny the chemistry between these two and
what's a work husband even??I couldn't stand to watch
these two anymore.I asked to excuse myself and went
over to the bar but Anthony followed me.
Him:”You look beautiful by the way.”he said as he took
his seat beside me.
Me:”She's pretty.”I said as the bartender set my drink
before me.
Him:”She is married.”
Me:”And if she wasn't?”
Him:”Then she wouldn't be married it doesn't matter to
me who she is with because it's not with me,I want you
MaMusa.”
Me:”I've gotten what I wanted here so I should be on my
way.”
He turned and looked at me hard all this while we were
talking we were facing the bar and not each other.
Him:”Okay,I'm just glad I could set the record straight.”
Me:”Thank you for that,I'll see you around.”
Him:”That's the plan.”
We walked back to the table and I told Melody that I had
to leave,
Her:”You've just gotten here.”
Me:”I know and I'm sorry but I have to get back home.”
Her:”What do you have a kid or something?”she asked
jokingly.
I just kept a straight face on.
Her:”Oh you do have a kid,Anthony you didn't tell me
you have a child.”
I looked at Anthony who looked like he didn't what to say
I just asked to be excused and said good bye once again
before turning to leave.
As I was walking away I heard them talk and began
laughing again and that irked me.
I drove home and went right to sleep and as I was closing
my eyes I was shutting down that chapter of my life.
NO MORE MEN!!!! but I don't always get what I want do
I?
The following day at work I got delivered my favourite
flowers and a box of white chocolate.
The bouquet had a note that read,
Meet me outside and it wasn't signed so I didn't know
who it was from so I got all curious and went out to look
for whoever it is.
When I stepped out there was no one there until I felt
someone behind me and I turned to find Africa standing
there.
He looked not so good,he smiled at me.
Him:”Hi.”
Me:”Hi,how are you?”
Him:”I'm taking it one day at a time,you look gorgeous.”
Me:”Thanks,thank you for the flowers also.”
Him:”Do you like them?”I nodded.
Yes they smell great.
Him:”I'm sorry for showing up at your work like this but I
couldn’t wait any longer to see you after the news I got.”
As soon as he said that my mind went into overdrive
thinking that maybe Bab’Zwane told him about what I
had done.
Me:”What news?”I asked all panicky.
Him:”Can we do this in my car,I need to show you
something?”I nodded and he walked me over where his
car was parked and we got inside.
He told me to fasten my seatbelt and I asked why and he
asked me to trust him and my dumb ass trusted him and
he started the car and drove out the centre.
If you come across me someday smack me in my face for
doing this because for all we know this man might be
driving us to our death and I'd had gladly gotten into his
car.
We drove around for a while and I kept asking where we
were going but he wouldn't say he just said it's a
surprise.
We came to this beautiful gated community that had all
these gorgeous house and my eyes were glued outside
the window such that he could've driven us off a cliff and
I wouldn't have seen then I'd be really surprised when I
wind up dead.
The car came to a halt in front of one beautiful house
and Africa got out and came to open my side.
He helped me step out and I was confused.
Him:”So,what do you think?”
Me:”About?”
Him:”The house.”
I looked around and the place was just beautiful but I
noticed a big red SOLD! sign on the side.
Me:”Well it's a beautiful house but why are you asking
me all this,why are we here?”the corners of his lips lifted
in a smile.
Him:”It's ours,this is our house where we'll start afresh
and build new memories.”he said excitedly.
Excuse me what?
Him:”I got us a house.”he said with a wide smile spread
across his face.
I cleared my throat to speak because for the life of me I
can't understand why Africa bought a house for us when
we don't even live together worse we aren't even dating.
I seriously don't know how this man’s mind works.
Me:”I don't really need a hou…”
Him:”Come on let's go check it out.”he said totally
disregarding me and walks ahead of me to the house.
I couldn't just stand outside like that so I followed him
and the house was beautiful,had that vintage touch and
totally my style.I was falling in love with it but I just could
not accept it or the now owner.
I seriously don't want anything to do with him.
Him:”So what do you think?”
Me:”I told you,it's a beautiful house.”
He punched the air in triumph.
Him:”I knew you'd love it.”
Me:”But why?”
Him:”Because I love you.”he says stepping towards me.
Oh Jesus why is he making this harder than it should be?I
may not love him but I don't want to hurt him and if he
keeps going on like this his father might just drop that
bomb on him and then he'd be hurt.
Him:”And because I'd figured it out…the house we live
in,it had bad memories,Sammy and us fighting and
everything so I figured we move away from all that and
come out here to start over.”
Me:”But Africa,there is nothing to start [Link],we're
done.”
His face fell hard and he formed fists with his hand and
charged towards me and I kept moving back.I was so
convinced he was going to punch me but he did the
opposite and just screamed in my face through his teeth.
Him:”Damnit Pamella can't you see I'm trying
here,huh?”he hissed all worked up and faced me waiting
for an answer.
I blinked so fast and in that same speed my brain was
working overtime on what I should do next.
Knowing Africa’s history with his temper and how he's
quick to want to kill himself it was very foolish of me to
let him drive me all the way out here with just the both
of us and in his car!
Me:”I do see your efforts I really do,it's just that I'm not
in a good space right now.I'm not on good terms with my
family so I have to work on that.”
I wasn't planning on doing that soon but I'd say anything
right now so I can cool this green eyed monster and get
him to drive me back to work.
Him:”That makes the two of us,I had a fallout with my
dad but,but maybe we don't need our families which is
why I bought us a house all the way out here.”he said
holding my hands.
Me:”You had a fallout with your dad?”
He nodded looking all sad.
Me:”Why,what happened?”
Him:”You won't believe this but he actually told me to
keep away from you because you're not good for me and
aren't all as you seem and even went as far as giving me
an ultimatum.”my eyes widened as he shook his head in
disbelief.
Me:”He did?”I asked manoeuvring through the lump in
my throat.
Him:”Yes,and I chose you.”my eyes just about popped
out of my eye sockets.
Oh no no no what has he done??If there is any truth in
what he is saying phela let us not forget that he is a
damned advocate this one!But say there is any truth in
this,he has just opened himself up for heartbreak shame
and I know Bab’Zwane will come at me guns blazing if he
even hears we were together.
Him:”It's us against the world right?”he asks with a hint
of doubt in his voice.
Ay but this guy watches too many movies and for the
umpteenth time there is no us!!
But I still need to get out of here so I nod and he just
loses it and hugs me and lets it be known how happy he
is that “we're doing this and leaving everything behind”
Him:”I can't wait for us to move in,do you want to see
the rest of the house?”
Me:”Not to be a spoil sport or anything but I do need to
get back to work.”he looks at me like he's just
remembered something.
Him:”Oh I'm so sorry I'm just so happy that we'll finally
settle down I forgot that I took you away from work,shall
we?”he asks with his hand out.
I muster a smile and put my hand in his and he leads us
[Link] get into his car and he drives me back to work
promising that he'll be back again.
And he did keep to his word and came back to see me
again and again and again and each day I lived my life in
fear waiting for Bab’Zwane to pop up but he didn't so I
started relaxing and that was my biggest mistake…
For the record I am not back with Africa if anything I am
single,he is the one dating me.
It turns out that it's not only him that's dating me
though.
So on this day as I was leaving work Sam came up to me,
Him:”Hey Pam,are you already clocking out?”
Me:”Yes I am.”
Him:”Too bad.”
Me:”Why?”
Him:”I kind of got us into a thing tonight.”he said
scratching his head.
Me:”What thing?”
Him:”I,well it was mom actually…”he started defending
himself.
Me:”Samkelo what did you do?”I asked getting a bit
irritate.
Honestly today has been a long day and I just wanted
nothing else than my bed right now.
Him:”Dinner with my mom…by my mom.”
Me:”Huh?”
Him:”Mom has invited you to dinner tonight.”
Me:”Why would your mom want to have dinner with
me?”
Him:”I had told her that we're both working at a same
job and then Sbonga opened his big mouth and told her
he already saw you at my place,pants-less.”he said the
last part in a low tone.
Trust Sbonga to keep his flippin’ mouth shut!
Me:”Sam I can't,not at such short notice.”
Him:”That's the thing,she asked me to ask you days back
but I just couldn't bring myself to ask you since you had
yourself absorbed in your [Link] all she knows she’s
having dinner with you tonight because you said yes a
long time ago”
Me:”You can't put me in such a position,you know I don’t
like disappointing your mom”
Him:Then just say yes.”he said pouting and his eyes
pleading with me.
Me:”That baby face won't work with me.”
Him:”Pretty pleeeeeeeeease.”
Me:”Okay just stop making all that noise geez.”
Him:”Thank you.”he kissed me on my cheek and we both
stepped out.
I was now in my car driving behind him,to tell you the
truth I wasn't really rushing to get home because the
mood there is quite tense between King and [Link] can
barely spend a minute in the same room so the more
time I spend out the less time I have to be at home and
being scolded by a teenager!!Dinner with Sam’s mom is
much better than that or is it?...
We arrived at the restaurant and Ma’Luthuli was already
there waiting for us.
Her:”Oh awsemuhle makoti wakwam’(you're looking so
beautiful my daughter-in-law.)”she said pulling me in for
a tight hug.
Me:”Ngyabonga Mah(thank you).”I'm so used to being
called “makoti” by anyone now.
She nodded and then went on to hug and kiss her son
and then we took our seats across her.
Her:”Anisebahle bantana bami(you're so beautiful my
children)”she said giving us a smile and beaming.
This isn't foreign to me Ma’Luthuli used to be so fond of
me when me and her son were dating and even after
that I was still her daughter-in-law and she'd even go as
far as saying that I'm a better mother to Zuko than Zinhle
and how Sam should've had a child with a
“proper/decent” girl like me and not [Link]'d take it
as far as having me be the one to bring Zuko over to her
house for a visit instead of Zinhle and I hated that which
is why I distanced myself from Sam’s family but then
here I am now dining with them and laughing.
So there we were laughing and chatting with Mrs L busy
telling us that we were destined to be together and all
that and I wasn't even on that tip,I don't see myself
getting back with Sam,we're so much better as friends.
The problem here is that Mrs L’s approval is everything
to Sam so if she says I'm the girl for her son then I'm the
girl her son will want to end up which is why after this I
need to have a chat with Sam and let him know exactly
where we stand.
As if I don't already have much on my plate Anthony and
his mom walk in the restaurant and Mrs L waves them to
our table saying that Mrs Gumede is a friend from their
ladies society.
At that moment I wanted for the ground below my chair
to open up and swallow me with it.
They make their way towards our table with Anthony's
eyes fixated on mine,I couldn't hold the stare I just
looked down.
Ma’Luthuli:”Lillian ninjani(how are you?)”she asked
excitedly.
Ma’Gumede:”Siphilile singezwa kuni(we're fine,and
you?)”she was responding to Sam’s mom but I could feel
her eyes gawking at me.
Ma’Luthuli:”We're fine,you remember my son Sam,the
one who went to the U.K?”
I saw Sam smirking he always gets big headed when you
mention the U.K
Ma’Gumede:”Yes.”
Ma’Luthuli:”Yes this is he,he's just came back and so
we're celebrating and also this is…”
Ma’Gumede:”Makoti.”she says cutting her off and
Ma’Luthuli looks at her stunned.
Ma’Luthuli:”Oh you've already met my daughter-in-law?”
When she said that my eyes quickly ran to Anthony who
said nothing he just stood there with his arm around his
mom but my his face spoke a million words he looked
like he was I don't know…judging me?...I don't know but
those beautiful set of eyes said something…or maybe it
was all my imagination because silly as it may come off I
wanted for him to react,maybe make a scene and grab
me by hand and drag me outside and…and [Link]
more than anything I wanted Anthony to have fought for
us but he didn't and I hate myself for actually wanting to
give him a chance again.I want to “not deny the
connection” but I had tried my hand in that and got
burnt,severely burnt when I thought that me and Africa
had a “connection” because we had both been in the
accident and “came out the other end stronger” boy was
I wrong!So no my heart can't afford that leap of faith
even with Anthony and I know it's wrong to compare the
two but one couldn't have happened without the other,
I wouldn't have been in that accident and met Africa had
I not been running from Anthony and I wouldn't have
forgotten Anthony and the break-up and he wouldn't
have had a chance to slither back in my life and more
into my pants!
Although I low-key think had I not been in the accident I
would've tried to get back with Anthony once more
because damnit I love him…loved him…you know
what,back to the dinner.
Ma’Gumede:”Yes,Pamella how are you?”why did she
single me out like this?
Me:”I'm good ma’am thanks for asking and you?.”
Ma’Gumede:”I see.”she said with a drop of temperature
in her voice.
Ma’Luthuli:”Ahh she's such a wonderful and humble girl I
was telling my son here how lucky he is to..”
Ma’Gumede:”I'd really love to talk but me and my son
made reservations.”she says coolly.
Ma’Luthuli:”Oh okay,it was nice seeing you.”
Ma’Gumede just gave her a tight smile and then she and
her son walked away to their [Link] was actually
strutting away with her son’s hand on her back,she looks
a little frail but still beautiful as ever.
Ma’Luthuli:”Well that's odd,she's never that cold.”
And she's right Ma’Gumede is the sweetest woman ever I
don't know who this Ice Queen is.
Me:”Sam can I talk to you for a minute?.”
Him:”Oh okay.”I attempted getting up but his mom
stopped us.
Her:”Don't worry my children I'll give you privacy,I need
the ladies room.”she got up and went away.
Him:”I'm sorry.”he says before I could even say anything.
Me:”For what?”
Him:”The way my mom is going on,I can see it’s making
you uncomfortable.”I shook my head.
Me:”But why would she act like this?”
Him:”I may or may have hinted us possibly being a
couple again.”
Me:”You what?!”I exclaimed in disbelief.
Him:”Look Pamella we both agree that you're great with
Zuko and I trust you with my heart as much as I trust you
with my kid,I think we'd be great together ,again.”
Not this bullshit again!!!For one I am already a mother
and for the last time Bawo(Lord)I AM NOT LOOKING FOR
A RELATIONSHIP!
Me:”Kodwa Samkelo(but Sam)we already talked about
this.”
Him:”I know it's just…I told mom and she just got excited
about the idea and ran with it but to tell you the truth I
like the idea of you,me and Zuko being a family.I love you
MaMusa and I'll wait for you.”he said squeezing my hand
for reassurance but I don't need to be reassured because
even if pigs flew I don't want to play happy family with
Sam.
Me:”I'm also a package deal.”I say just to throw him off
and to taint his picture perfect family by adding King but
it doesn't quite go my way.
Him:”That's okay then,we'll be a beautiful choice
assorted family”he says and smirks.
This is going to be a long night!
Ma’Luthuli came back to the table and the talk of me
being the perfect girl for Sam resumed and to be honest I
didn't want to hear more of it so I excused myself and
said I have an early morning.
I went home and as usual King had went and locked
himself in his room.
The following morning I woke up and went to work and
as had it been for the rest of the week I found a fresh
bouquet of flowers on my desk that Africa religiously
sent to me.I just about rolled my eyes to the back of my
[Link] the flowers on my desk just irked me I took
them and tore them before throwing them in the bin.
“Is it safe to come in?”
I looked at the door and there stood Thembisa.I was
breathing heavily so I just drew in a few long breaths to
calm down and then I straightened myself up.
Me:”Come on right in.”I said walking around to my chair.
We had our session which was for one hour and by the
end of it I wished for all these 3,000 hours to be over so I
can get licensure and be out of this place,away from Sam
and possibly from the face of the Earth just to catch a
break.
The rest of the day went on fine and then I clocked out
and drove straight home I wanted to have a chat with
King.
I got home and just sighed and put my forehead against
the door as soon as I closed it.I stood there for a whole
minute.
I heard someone behind me and before I could turn and
see who it is they beat me to [Link] I saw who it was I
dropped my keys and bag in shock.
Mrs Mom:”I thought that was you.”she said smiling and
she was in an apron.
Me:”What are you doing here?”
Mrs Mom:”Is that the way to greet your mother?”
Me:”Mom,what are you doing here?”
Mrs Mom:”Stubborn like your father.”she muttered
under her breath looking a little frustrated.
I just had a blank face on because really I don't know
what she is doing here or how she even got here because
I sure as hell didn't tell any of my family where I'm living.
Mrs Mom:”Ok well we thought since you wouldn't come
to us,we'll come to you and talk.”she says matter-of-fact.
Me:”We,who's we?”
Mrs Mom:”Your dad and I…”I didn't let her finish.
Me:”What?!”I started walking into the kitchen and there
they were.
You have got to be kidding me!!!Seated in my kitchen
right now is Mr Dad,Sbo,Noma,King and Ma’Dlamini
who's also in an apron.
They are having a feast and I don't know with whose
grocery because my fridge is empty with only King’s fruits
and vegetables and my quick-on-the-go microwaveable
foods.
Me:”What are you all doing here?”King gets up from his
seat.
King:”I called them here.”
Me:”You what?!”I asked in that “who do you think you
are” tone.
King:”Sis Pamella,I couldn't watch you go on the way
you've been going on,I could see that what happened
between your family and you is really taking a toll on
[Link]'re always going out,you sometimes drink before
going to bed and you almost never come home early.”he
says with his eyes drilling the floor.
Me:”If you have a problem with how we live under this
roof please feel free to leave.”his head snapped back up
and he gave me an astonished look.
No he must go,he can leave with these people even.
Ma’Dlamini:”Pammy don't be like that.”
Me:”Yaz(you know)no one has answered on what you all
are doing here?”
Mrs Mom:”Why don't you sit down to eat first?”she
asked pulling a chair for me.
Me:”You can't force down food my throat neither can
you with an apology which is why when I want to talk I
will come to you.”I say sternly but to be honest I was
hungry because the last meal was during lunch and the
food smelled divine.
Mr Dad:”MaMusa just hear me out,I was wrong I see that
now and I am sorry that I compromised your happiness
to get ahead but baby,I was doing it for the family for
you.”
Me:”And in which part does all this benefit me?You get
to be city councillor and a fiancé and I?I end up with a
psychopath and none the wiser?”
Mr Dad:”That wasn't my intention.”
Noma:”We all thought it was the best thing to do.”
Me:”And played yourself in the process because the guy
you the thought was “the best for me” turned out to be
the opposite and you also turned your backs on him but
no one stopped to talk to me instead you “tried” to get
me out of the lion's den when you locked me in there
and threw away the key!”
Sbo:”You can still leave him sis,you don't have to be with
him.”
Me:”I've tried!He won't let me go.”
Mr Dad:”I really am sorry my child.”
Me:”That line is exhausted but I forgive you and not for
your sake but mine because I need to move on and move
forward and I can't do that when I'm angry at you.”
Mrs Mom:”Don't shut us out,we're here for you.”
Me:”I don't know just…clean up when you're done.”I said
and walked out the kitchen leaving complete silence
behind me.
It wasn't long after I got into my room that I heard
shuffling and water running and just a bustle of activity
and hushed voices.
I wanted to cry but I had done enough of that I was
actually tired of it all,tired of people thinking they can
just do as they please in my life well news flash for them!
I'm saying no now,no I'm not forgiving you for you,no I
can't date you,no we don't have a chance and no I don't
need a new house.
When I was sure that they had left I went back to the
kitchen to get something to eat.I took out my noodles
and when I opened the microwave there was a plate of
food with a note that read,
“You should lay off all these instant foods they're not
good for you,here's a home cooked meal.
Love,
Mom”
I had a good mind of just setting the food aside and
cooking my noodles but she had prepared my favourite
dish and that tugged at my heart,maybe I should stop
being so mad at my family and just forgive and forget but
forgetting is what got us here in the first place for
months they kept things from me.
“I'm sorry.”King said stopping me from my train of
thought.
I just looked at him I had been so lost in my thoughts it
didn't at first click what he was apologizing for.
Him:”I shouldn't have called your family over.”he said
looking remorseful.
Me:”To be honest I don't appreciate what you did.”
Him:”I understand and it's okay I'll move out Mr H said I
can move back in to the house.”
Me:”What,no wait…you don't have to go,don't…[Link] I
may be mad but I get where it's coming from and I
appreciate the effort.”
Him:”You do?”he asked visibly alarmed.
Me:”Yes and I'm sorry also for neglecting you in this
place.”
Him:”It's okay I understand.”
Me:”But it shouldn't be like that so,I don't have work
tomorrow so how about we hang out?”
Him:”I'm down.”
Me:”Okay then Bokkie you can go to sleep because
tomorrow it's on!!!”he broke out in a little chuckle and
we both ended up just laughing.
Him:”Bokkie,really?”
Me:”Yes you're my little rugby player.”I said nudging him.
Him:”Well then I think you mean Bokka.”
Me:”Ey whatever man.”
Him:”You're so silly,good night.”he came and kissed me
on my forehead and then left the kitchen.
I stood there and watched him walk away and I muttered
“good night buddy” and then I warmed my food and ate
before going to bed.
I couldn't sleep,I kept tossing and turning I had a lot on
my mind and simultaneously so on my plate.
I've decided to put myself first although it may seem I've
long been selfish but I'm taking that decision now.I
decide to forgive my family and Anthony because really
being angry hasn't gotten me anywhere and then I get to
Africa and I get stuck and feel stuck he just doesn't know
how to let go or should I say let me go?I am seriously
done with him but I have this fear at the back of my head
that when I break up with him which I have long done
but if it does get through to him that we're over,I fear
that he'd do something that might harm me or him or
both!
I need to find something that I could use to put him
down easy and make sure he stays down and away from
me,I think of telling him that I cheated on him before his
father can but I think that no that isn't the way to go.
I was stuck with that dilemma until the answer came to
my door.
It was a Saturday and me and King were just hanging
around the apartment and were to go out tonight for a
movie and dinner.
I was in the kitchen fixing us snacks when I heard the
door knock and King went and got it.
Me:”Who is it?”I asked shouting but got no answer.
Only to turn and find King with Sembi.
King:”Sammy here says she needs to talk to you,do you
know her?”I don't answer him I just keeping looking at
her.
Sembi:”Sis Pamella.”
Ok she still has great hair and looks great and is still a big
girl but there was something off that I couldn't put my
finger [Link] that I had been staring at her for a
fraction of a second too long I cleared my throat and
spoke up.
Me:”Uhm yes I do know her.”I just don't know what she's
doing here!my subconscious screamed.
King:”O-kay then,let me leave you ladies to it.”I nodded
and he left.
Me:”How can I help you?”
Her:”First of I'm so sorry for showing up like this but
really I had nowhere else to go.”she said her voice
breaking.
Me:”Really,nowhere else to go?Why didn't you go to
your cousin's house.”
Her:”No I couldn't…everything is just a mess…my mom
has kicked me out the house…I didn’t know what to do
and it's worse because now I don't have only myself but
the baby also.”she said tearing up.
Me:”Wait slow down…what?”I signalled for her to take a
seat and she mouthed “thank you”.
Her:”I'm pregnant.”she said looking down.
Me:”I still don't get what any of this has to do with me.”
Her:”I'm pregnant with Africa’s child.”shut the front
door!
Me:”Well then,why don't you go to Africa or his
father?.”I've never seen someone shake their head so
fast.
Her:”No,no,no,no I can't and especially not to his dad.”
Me:”Why?”I asked confused.
Her:”Because he told me to stay away from his son you
know,when you caught on that me and Africa had been
sleeping together and you confronted and dumped
him,Africa blamed it all on me and he told his father the
same thing and that's when they kicked me out and
Bab’Zwane pulled me by my ear and told me to never
come back near his son ever again or that will be the last
thing I do and I swore to never go back to Africa but that
was before I found out I was pregnant.”those Zwane
bullies!
They think they can do as they please but that ends now!
Me:”Don't worry I'll take you over to Africa and he'll own
up to his mistakes.”I said matter-of-fact.
She almost jumped out of her skin.
Her:”No we can't.”now she was just getting on my
nerves.
Me:”What then do you want from me?”
Her:”A place to stay,a job,anything?”
Me:”I don't know.”I say and her face falls.
Yah neh Bab’Zwane doesn't play when it comes to his
son which makes me squirt a little pee as I realize that
he'd also warned me to stay away from his son but his
damned son couldn't stay the hell away from me!
I wonder if he knows he's been to my office and
something tells me he doesn't but then I remember his
son can't keep his mouth shut for anything and then I
remember that they had a fallout and find little comfort
in that but my heart just won't allow me to accept that
because come on the guy is an advocate he probably lied
about the whole “I chose you” thing!My head is spinning
from all this but in the midst of all this whirlwind an idea
strikes me.
This is it!This is what I need to break things off with
Africa,he doesn't need to know I cheated but with Sam
pregnant I just cannot be with him!Yes,this is [Link]
you God!
Me:”It's okay you can stay here until you can sort
yourself out.”her eyes widened.
Her:”Really?”I nodded.
I really am going to use you to get Africa off my
[Link]'t give me that look a girl has got to do what a
girl's gotta do!
I went to King to ask him to sleep on the couch for a
while and have Sammy yes I'm using her real name she's
my ticket out ok so I asked King to let her use his room
and he suggested that he can move back to the Musa
house because it's better than the couch.
Me:”No you can't go,you can't leave me here with
her.”he gave me a puzzled look.
Him:”Kanti ngampela ubani lentombazane(really who's
this girl)?”he asked in vernac because he thought Sammy
was coloured and wouldn't hear and I almost laughed.
Me:”Well,she's a friend in need.”
Him:”Okay.”
Me:”Thank you buddy,and we'll have to cancel our plans
because we can't leave her here and go out alone.”
Him:”I figured that out already.”
Me:”I'm really sorry.”I said as he started walking away.
Him:”Yeah whatever.”the way I was so excited that I'll
finally be getting of Africa that I didn't pay attention to
his little tantrum.
I showed Sammy where she'll be sleeping and she was
just showering me with endless thank yous’.
That night I went to bed happy and before sleeping I
texted Africa asking to see him tomorrow and he said I
should come by his house after he'd been to church and
that sounded perfect for me,the sooner I do this the
better.
The next morning I woke up with a start and went to
bath and then checked up on Sammy who was already up
I have no idea what I'll do with her on the long run but
she can't live with me forever and maybe Africa will man
up and take her and his baby in.
I had breakfast and when it was time I went to get
dressed up and drove over to Africa's house.
I rang the intercom and he let me in but he wasn't there
to welcome me at the door which was strange.
Me:”Africa are you in here?”I asked when I stepped in.
“Lounge!”someone else answered.
I walked over to the lounge and found the Zwane duo
sitting there but Africa had his head bowed when I came
in.
The he picked up his head and looked at me with blood
shot eyes and his veins popping,he looked so broken and
sounded just,
Him:”Why?”he asked his voice a little hoarse.
I looked at him confused.
Me:”Why what?”he shot up from his seat with a start
and almost flipped over the coffee table and I felt a
shiver run down my spine as he walked towards me.
Him:”Pamella don't FREAKING ACT STUPID OK?NOW
TELL ME WHY,WHY DID YOU DO IT?!”he hissed busy
shaking me and I had my eyes tightly shut as he did that.
Me:”Do what?”my voice comes out small.
Him:”Why did you cheat on me…WITH THAT GUMEDE
BOY!”my eyes widened,I looked from him to his father
who had a satisfied smirk on.
I did not imagine this day turning out like this at all!I
came here guns blazing and going on for the kill and let
me tell you that's still the plan I'm just tired of this toxic
situationship between me and Africa.
Me:”I'm sorry.”when I say that he gets a little less angry
and lets me go but he also looks so sad.
Him:”But why him?”I think he is about to cry but me
being me I want to add fuel to the fire.
Me:”Because I love him.”and regret the words as soon as
the words leave my mouth.
Him:”No no no no no,you can't LOVE him you just
can't,what does he have that I don't?”
Me:”It's not about you Africa there's nothing wrong with
you…”
Him:”No there must be something because you always
run to him.”
Me:”I'm telling you there's nothing.”
Him:”Okay if there's really nothing you'd be with
me,marry me,move in with me and you see we're even
now you can't fault me.I cheated you,cheated we're
[Link] can leave all that in the past and start over.”he
says taking my hands into his.
Me:”I don't want all of that.”
Him:”Is this because of him?”he asked getting all worked
up.
Me:”No this is about us,Africa we could never [Link]
tried it,twice and both times the whole thing was built on
an unstable foundation which is why it came crashing
down.”
Him:”But we can start on a clean slate now,build a solid
foundation.”I shook my head with tears in my eyes this is
proving to be harder than I thought.
Me:”No because we can't undo the past and Sammy is
pregnant you know.”he looked surprised.
Him:”She's what?”
Me:”Pregnant with your child.”he buried his face in his
hands.
Him:”Is this why you don't want to be with me?Pamella I
swear I didn't know about this.”he said to his defense.
Me:”Well now you know.”
Him:”But this doesn't have to be the end of us,I can fix
this.”he went on.
Me:”Africa stop,I don't want you to fix anything there is
nothing to fix,please if you ever did love me…”
Him:”I do love you…”he said with urgency as if he
wanted to assure me.
Me:”Then please,please let me go.I can't do it anymore
Mangethe,we can't keep doing this to each
other,please.”I pleaded with tears running down my
cheeks.
He actually held my hands and we cried together and
after a while he pulled back and looked at me,really
looked at me as if searching for something a hope that I
was going to change my mind but I remained resolute.
He stepped away from me.
Him:”So I guess I'll die alone.”it was a rhetorical question.
Me:”I'm sorry.”
Him:”I'm sorry also for causing you misery.”
Me:”It's okay we were in this together,I hope you find
happiness one day.”he shakes his head.
Him:”There is no happiness without you.”
There's no U in happiness but ok.
Him:”Let me see you out.”
Me:”Thanks.”
We walked out and my legs were all wobbly but I made it
to my car and hooted before driving out.
As soon as I was got onto the road my hands started
shaking and I stopped on the side of the road then I
began crying.
Tears of joy!!!!
Chapter 16
I'd like to say that life after my break-up with Africa was a
bliss but that wasn't the case well maybe not as yet.
For the next few days after I was just feeling somehow
you know and I know I've said this a million times I didn't
really love Africa…I wasn't…IN love with him but it's
human nature to mourn a relationship that didn't work
no matter how toxic it was.
And I can't just write off the whole thing as bad because
I'm a firm believer that we never meet people by mistake
the same way Africa believed that God had planned for
us to meet the way we did and like I said I can't write off
the whole relationship with Africa as bad,we had our
good moments.
He spoiled me you can't take that away from him,he
cared for me and loved me a little too much…ok you
don't have to give me that look maybe he loved me a
little more than “a little too much” even I can admit it.
My marshmallow bear,he has everything good going for
him well except for the lung failure but he's a well off
young man erhh maybe not well in the head but…he has
a great job,7 figure check,a house and nice cars,HE CAN
COOK,he cleans up after himself and he's well
groomed…sounds like a dream man right?...we'll get
back on that one,I don't want to re-live my nightmare.
He's a lover also but there's something about his love
it's…too strong??I don't know if I can say he has a temper
or what but he got ticked off now and then,I don't know
if he'd always been like that or if I made him that way…
OK!Enough about Africa me and him are done,finito,no
more’o!but why does that make me a little sad??Damnit
Pamella FOCUS!
I fell into a routine after that,I'd wake up,go to
work,spend time with King or with Sam and not in that
order…Sam I know I shouldn't be around him knowing
what I know but I can't help myself he's a good
distraction and also I've set some boundaries between us
so we're cool.
Today is a Wednesday and I am off work I've been given
some time off and I don't know why because I need to be
done with this post doctoral experience and get licensure
ASAP but I've been given a day off so here we are.
It's past morning and I'm headed to the kitchen to get
something to drink when I bump into Sembi.
Her:”Sawbona sisi(hey sis)”she says bow-nodding.
Me:”Hi.”I proceed to the fridge and take out what I
want,when I turn Sembi is still standing there.
Her:”Can I please talk to you?”she says with her eyes casr
down.
Let me tell you pregnancy will humble you!The way she is
so respectful towards me you'd swear that she's never
tried to fight me over a man.
Me:”Yeah sure.”
To be honest me and her never say much to each
other,I'm up before she ever gets up and when I come
back home she'd have long gone to bed,I know that
sounds like she just lazes around but [Link]'s been a
great help actually she keeps the apartment clean and
cooks I heard she cooks from King because I hardly ever
eat home and at a time she also did my laundry but I
asked her not to again.
If you're guessing that I don't trust her you're right I don't
and I know it's said to “keep your friends close and
enemies closer” but touching my clothes that's a tad bit
too close and I'm sure they didn't mean move your
enemy into your house either!But I can't kick her out
since she's pregnant and everything.
Her:”I first want to thank you so much for letting me live
here rent free I really appreciate you and King have
overly-accommodated me he even goes as far as buying
me whatever I crave.”she says and giggles nervously.
Okay it seems I have been staying out the house too long
and BACK UP bitch it's Nkosi to you not King!And what's
this I hear about King playing house under my roof!
This is too much I take a sip of my water.
Me:”Oh?”I ask brow raised.
Her:”Y-yes and so I don't want to leech off of you guys so
I was hoping you'd find me work if you could or I'd work
as your housekeeper?”
Me:”Do you think you should be working in your
condition?”
Her:”I don't quite have a choice I need to prepare for
baby’s arrival and I can't do that without money.”
Me:”Money shouldn't be a problem I mean Africa has a
lot of it,hasn't he reached out to you?”
Her:”No even when I try to contact him it doesn't get
through.”
Me:”Let me take you to him!”the words spring out my
mouth surprising even me.
I guess I have been harbouring the thought of doing a
drive by to his house for a while now so when the
opportunity to go see him presented itself I jumped on it.
Sembi gave me a look and I composed myself.
Her:”What?”she asked flatly.
Me:”No-nothing listen about work,I'd let you know if
something comes up.”
Her:”O-kay,thank you.”she says and walks out.
Whew!I breathed out looking down and when I picked
my head I saw King smiling at Sembi as he was entering
the [Link] I'll be damned!
Me:”Hey you.”
Him:”Hey my cool mom who's not going to drive me to
school tomorrow so as to not embarrass me.”he said all
at once and sealed the words with a kiss on my forehead.
He thinks he's slick I caught what he was saying and
there's no way that I'm missing his first day at school not
when he had been so excited about it and had me all
excited with him too!
Me:”You bet I am taking you to school tomorrow.”
Him:”Ahh come on!”he whined.
Me:”What mom says,goes.”
Him:”Kill me now.”I punched him and we both laughed.
We kept quiet for a while.
Me:”Sooo…Sammy?”
Him:”Great girl it's great having her around.”
Me:”Oh is it?”
Him:”Yeah,she's great company no offense if it were not
for her I'd have gone insane spending time alone in here
and she's a great cook still no offense to you,she's also
easy to talk to…”he went on.
Me:”She's pregnant.”
Him:”Yeah…wait,what?”
Me:”Ihmm.”I said folding my hands.
Him:”You're joking right?...God…when did this happen?”I
couldn't help it I was beside myself with laughter the
look on his face was priceless he just could not believe!
Me:”What do you mean when did this happen,she came
here pregnant and you've been running a catering
company off your allowance feeding her cravings so I'll
have to cut your allowance because it's proving to be too
much.”
He was just so shocked.
Me:”Pick your jaw from the floor.”I said stifling a laugh.
Him:”So that's what that was about?I just thought she
liked the stuff but couldn't afford it.”
Me:”So you thought to run a charity?”
Him:”No man and please Dr Mom don't take away my
allowance.”he pleaded in an animated voice.
Me:”Oh I will in fact you should quit school and be a full
time dad.”
Him:”WHAT?!”you can't misplace the horror in his voice.
I doubled over with laughter,he got annoyed and walked
out the kitchen.
Me:”You'll make a great dad.”I shouted after him and I
heard him groan.
I laughed and went to the lounge to catch up on some
t.v. I was thinking it's not a bad idea to keep Sembi here
she does a wonderful job keeping the house and King
loves her cooking plus I just want to mess with him a bit
so I'll just give her the job but I'd have to draw up a
contract first.
T.v. was boring so I got my work from my room and
analysed the notes I took of my patients from our
sessions.
After a while a knock came from the door and I got up to
get it.
Me:”Well isn't a coincident that when I get a day off you
also get a day off?”I ask walking behind him as he made
his way inside the apartment.
He turned around to look from my table and then at me.
Him:”Well it doesn't look like you're ON a day off.”
Me:”Oh I couldn't help myself so…what brings you by?”I
ask tidying up.
Him:”What else other than you?”
Me:”Haha Dr Luthuli you think you're smooth.”
Him:”Well aren't I?”he says presenting a bottle of wine
from out of nowhere and I give him a slight smirk.
Me:”Thanks,my [Link] you like a glass?”he
looks pleased with himself and he nods.
I go out and get 2 glasses and prepare light snacks while
at it.
We sit in the lounge and chat up a storm completely
oblivious of the other people in this house.
Him:”You're beautiful.”random much?
Me:”Thanks.”
Him:”We'd make beautiful babies together.”
Me:”Oh come on!”
Him:”I'm serious and hopefully they take on my baby
genes so they'll stay forever young like me on some black
don't crack.”
He's so full of himself I just shake my head smiling.
Me:”You're so silly,you already have a kid.”
Him:”Not with you.”he says all serious.
Me:”Ok but why now?”
Him:”Why now what?”
Me:”All…this.”I gesture with my hands.
Him:”Well if you must know it's not a spur of the
moment thing or a sudden decision it's really always
been you…”
Me:”Saaaaam…”I groaned,he put up his hand.
Him:”I know you said you want to hold off on
relationships and everything and I perfectly understand
and respect that.”
Me:”But your actions say otherwise.”I said wiggling my
brow.
Him:”I know but because that's the person I am,I'm not
big on talk I just do but I promise I'll hold off.”
Me:”Thanks,I appreciate that because I'm not really in a
great space right now and I like this friendship going on
between us.”
Him:”And I just like being with you.”he said and ran his
hand on the side of my face until he came to my chin and
cupped it.
He ran his thumb in a slow rhythm on my chin and made
me look up at him and brought his face closer to mine
and we were now just breathing each other's air until we
heard someone clear their throat and we pulled away
from each other as if we just got electrocuted.
I turned to find King looking all fresh.
Me:”Hey…buddy.”I said all breathy as I stood up.
Him:”Yeah…I am…stepping out.”
Me:”Oh okay uhh…King this is Samkelo Luthuli and Sam
this is my King.”I said running my hands up and down my
thighs.
They exchanged handshakes.
King:”Sam…Sam?..rings a bell…you don't happen to be
the same Sam that cheated on her and went halfway
across the world leaving her to be a mother to your
child,right?”he asked looking him in the eye.
Me:”Uhh…King?”I said through my teeth with my eyes
widened signalling for him to stop.
King:”What?I'm just asking it's so many Sam’s in the
world.”
Oh God kill me now.
Me:”Nkosi!”Sam put his hand up and I gave him a tight
smile.
Sam:”It's okay.I understand,he's just looking out for you.”
King:”You bet I am!”he [Link] my God this Springbok!
Sam:”It's great to know she has someone who cares for
her like this and would do anything to defend her.”
King:”Yeah you remember that.”
Me:”O-kay King you were heading out?”he frowned.
King:”Yeah I'm meeting up with some friends.”
Me:”You should be on your way then.”
King:”Don't worry I'll be going but I'll be back!”he gave
Sam a look and then came to kiss my on my cheek and
left.
Sam:”You're sure he isn't your biological son?”he asked
as soon as he was out of sight.
Me:”Often I wonder.”I say and we both laugh.
My heart swells and I feel a sense of pride,my little
man,my King was fighting for me!
We talked more with Sam and he later on left and I
freshened up to make supper,King came back and we ate
and he slept early as he had school in the [Link]
tidied up as I also went to bed.
You see this thing of having one bathroom!!!
It's the next day and I am waiting on King to finish up so I
can go [Link] comes out after a ridiculously long while and
I go in and take a quick shower.
I wash up hurriedly and get dressed up in record [Link]
don't even get time for breakfast which Sembi had
prepared shame poor child.
King takes his plate though and eats in the car.
Me:”I can't do this dropping you off in the morning see
now I'll be late,you must just get your driver's license.”I
hear him sigh in relief.
Him:”Thank you Jesus!”he says getting off the car.
Me:”Hey not so fast I need to take a picture.”
Him:”Not this again,we took pictures at home.”
Me:”And now we're taking them in front of your school
come on,one last time for the gram.”he rolls his eyes but
poses for the picture anyway.
Him:”Can we wrap this up?.”
Me:”There we [Link] go on in there and kill them
champ,show them how royalt does it.”I nudged his cheek
and kissed him.
He just about puked.
Him:”Aren't you getting late for work?”
Me:”Okay okay,I'm going and remember we already have
a pregnant girl at home so don't bring another one.”
Him:”Oh my God can we not?!”he said and started
walking away.
I screamed I loved him and he turned back and mouthed
he loves me and got inside the school,I simultaneously
got inside my car and drove to work in high spirits.
I got in greeting everybody in my way and when I got into
my office they were the first thing I saw.
How can one ever miss them though they are the
prettiest flowers but who could be sending me…oh
no…no no no no…they can't be from him!
I walked towards my table slowly putting my stuff down
and not breaking any eye contact with the flowers,I then
picked them up and closed my eyes as I brought them up
to my nose and inhaled their sweet scent.
I opened my eyes and looked for a card and to my
surprise there wasn't a [Link] could've
sent the flowers but my mind assumed that it's Africa
because he had made a habit of sending flowers to my
office…well that had stopped a week ago but still…if it is
him sending me flowers I have to know…yeah that's it,let
me call him.
I picked up my phone and called him but it sent me
straight to voicemail.I tried him again and the same thing
happened so I decide to leave him a message.
Me:”Hey Africa it's…me.I called to say,I got the
flowers…they're beautiful,as always….I love them but
you know…you didn't have to but still I appreciate
them…thanks.”
I paused and took a deep breath then I said bye and set
my phone aside and began working.
Just as I was working my phone chimed indicating an
incoming notification,I jumped thinking that maybe he
had texted me back.
I picked up my phone only to find that it's Instagram
notifying me that Noma had liked and commented on my
picture,I clicked on the notification to see what picture it
is and it's the one of King in his uniform and in front of
his school captioned “proud mom moments” and Noma
had commented and said “he looks good,any mom would
be proud”.
I had a good mind of just leaving the comment as it is and
say nothing but I decided to get over myself and I liked
her comment and replied,”thanks”.
I then continued working and was later called out front
to the reception so I got up and made my way over
there.
Me:”Cindy you called for me?”I asked as I reached her
desk.
Her:”Yeah,you have a delivery.”
Me:”Delivery?”she nodded.
A young man stepped forward.
Him:”Are you [Link] Musa?”
Me:”Yes this is she.”
Him:”This is for you.”he said handing me a Steers paper
bag.
Me:”For me?But I didn’t…I didn't order this.”
Him:”Well ma’am I was told to deliver it here.”
Me:”Do you know who sent you?”
Him:”The company I work for.”he said with a hint of
sarcasm in his voice.
Me:”I mean who might have sent for your franchise to
deliver it to me,you know?”he shook his head.
Him:”No idea,I'm [Link] your meal ma’am.”he said
and turned to leave.
I was confused first it was the flowers and now food.
Me:”Hey Cindy uhm there was a bouquet of flowers in
my office this morning any idea how they got there?”
Her:”Oh I went and put them there.”
Me:”Oh that means you must've seen who they're
from?”
Her:”No it didn't say,I didn't even have to sign for them
when they were delivered.”
Me:”Then how did you know they were for me?”
Her:”They were addressed to you,just didn't say from
who.”
Me:”Oh okay,thanks.”
Her:”They're beautiful flowers.”she said smiling her
contagious smile.
I mustered my own smile and thanked her once more
then turned and made my way to my office.
I got in and set the food down on my table and
pretended to get on with my work but my curiosity and
stomach colluded against me and urged me to open the
take-away and take a peek inside and so I did.
The instant I saw the King Steer burger with double
cheese and large fries my mouth watered and my
stomach [Link]!
You bet I ate the whole thing and then later worried if it's
poisoned and I rushed to the toilet and tried to vomit it
out but nothing came.I then took a bottle of water and
drank from it the whole of that day.
The rest of the day played out well,I didn't get any more
‘gifts’ from anyone but what I did get though is a DM
from Noma asking if we can do dinner after work and I
took her up on it because really,I do miss my big sister
and the whole family at large.
Me:”Baby daddy.”I said as I picked up the call from King.
Him:”Please can you not call me that.”he was actually
pleading and I just laughed at him.
Me:”Okay okay,I'll [Link] what to what do I owe the
honour of you calling me?”
Him:”I'm calling you with minutes so don't get excited.”I
gasped and it was his turn to laugh at me.
Me:”That is not a very kind thing to say to your minister
of finance.”
Him:”I take it back!I just called to ask if you're on your
way home?”
Me:”Not as yet,why?”
Him:”I can't wait to tell you about my day at school.”
Me:”I might come home when you've long made it to
bed.”
Him:”Why,you're going out with that Sam character
aren't you?”he asked in an accusatory tone.
Me:”No I'm not well I am going out just not with him,I'm
having dinner with Noma.”
Him:”Oh that's good.”he said almost sighing out of relief.
I wonder what King has against Sam because he's actually
a nice guy.
Me:”Yeah so come on tell me all about your day while I
drive.”
Him:”I don't have that kind of airtime.”he said in a bored
tone.
Me:”So stingy!Don't worry I'll call you.”I hung up and re-
dialled his number then we got to talking till I arrived at
the restaurant.
I walked in and a waiter showed me to the table for two
which Noma was already [Link]'s a miracle she's on
time!Don't give me that look we both know this one is
never on time,she'll be late for her funeral!Haha
Get it?She'd be late for her funeral because when
someone dies we say they're late…you know what never
mind that was actually meant to make me laugh so I can
ease my nerves.
She didn't see me coming she was busy taking huge gulps
of her drink and kept rubbing her hands on her thighs.
Me:”Hi.”she jumped and greeted me back,shook my
hand and pulled out a chair for me.
Her:”Can you get her the menu please?”she smiled at the
waiter and took her seat.
We then sat in an awkward silence.
Me:”Thanks for inviting me out.”
Her:”Thanks for coming,I've already ordered a chilled
bottle of wine for the table I…hope you don't mind?”of
course I don't mind that's what we drink.
Me:”Thank you.”
Silence again.
Her:”Pamella?”
She paused and looked at me then we locked eyes.
Her:”I'm sorry,I really [Link] all are.”she says and I see
glasses of tears move into her eyes.
I put my hand over hers.
Me:”I know,and I've forgiven you.”I don't think she quite
got what I said because she just carried on apologizing.
Her:”I know what we did was wrong but you have to get
where we're coming from…wait,what?”I just looked at
her and smiled.
Me:”I'm over it.”
Her:”Really?”she asked her eyes wide open.
I nodded and said yes.
Her:”Oh my God I'm so glad to hear that,can I hug
you?I've been itching to you the moment you walked in.”
Again I nodded and opened my arms for [Link] got up
from her seat,I stood up and we attacked each other
with bone crushing hugs and busy squealing.I'm sure we
were attracting some eyes but we didn't care we were
happy to be in the other's embrace.
Her:”I've missed you so much.”
Me:”I missed you so much also.”we both sniffed and we
pulled back and smiled to one another.
She sat back down and so did I.
Me:”You still smell like money.”
Her:”And I caught a whiff of the Mandela’s on you also so
I guess you'll be the one paying for dinner?”she said and
took a sip of her wine busy ogling me.
Me:”Ah I lied you smell broke.”I said just to spite her.
Her:”Honey please I could buy your whole outfit and it
wouldn't leave a dent on my account.”
Me:”Are you offering to take me shopping?”I asked
humorously.
Her:”You see that…that gold digger tendency of
yours…that I did not miss.”she says and I laugh,we both
do.
And that is how we broke the ice,from then on we just
had drinks and dinner over light conversations and
laughter.
Her:”I'm riding with you.”she says staggering as we exit
the restaurant.
Me:”Why where's your car?”
Her:”I parked it somewhere here and you're asking me
why,I can barely make it to the car now imagine if I had
to drive.”she said and giggled.
I must mention we had one too many well Noma was
already 3 drinks ahead of me when I arrived so she's
drunk and I'm tipsy.
Me:”Okay but what about your car then,you can't just
leave it out here?”
Her:”Tony will come get it.”
Me:”And who's Tony?”
Her:”This guy I'm seeing.”
Me:”Guy you're seeing?...wait…what happened to
Nhlanzeko the…”
Her:”…the actual neat freak.”she finished off for me and
we both laughed.
That's what we used to call him in secret because he was
such a neat freak we had to take our shoes off when
walking on his carpet but him being a neat freak had it's
good bit because he used to lick Noma clean,her words
not mine.
Ahh man Nhlanzeko.
Me:”Yeah what happed to him?”
Her:”We called things off and I've moved on.”she says
matter-of-fact.
Me:”To Tony?”
Her:”Yes.”she said and smiled sheepishly.
Me:”Dang looks like I've been out of your life for too
long.”
Her:”You're telling me.”she said and rolled her eyes.
Me:”Not now devil!”I said and pouted.
We laughed once more and got inside the [Link] texted
Tony and he called her back and she was all giggles when
speaking to him.I kept stealing glances at her and smiling
to [Link] is my girl right here I don't know how long
I was hoping to go without her but looking at her right
now I can honestly say not too long because I love her
too much,her and the family as a whole.
Her:”Now,where were we?”I just gave her the eye.
She was all putty and mushy when she was talking to
Tony but she wants to be all loud with [Link].
Her:”What?!...where's this car radio?”she switched on
the radio and connected her phone via Bluetooth then
started playing music at full volume.
Me:”Oooh that's my jam!...Come take my hand.”I started
singing she was playing Beyonce,End Of Time.
Her:”I won't let you go.”
Both:”I will be your friend.I will love you so deeply.I will
be the one to kiss you at night,I will love you till the end
of the tiiiiii-ime!”we sang at the top of our voices.
It was a whole concert in my car all the way to the
apartment I'm surprised we didn’t get pulled over!
We got to the apartment all giggly and went straight to
my bedroom and threw ourselves on the bed.
I took out a nightie and gave her to put on and I slipped
into my pyjamas also and then we got under the covers
and lay facing up.
Her:”Thanks for coming out today Intestine.”I punched
her lightly and she cried “ouch.”
Me:”Thanks for inviting me out Nomanie,this was the
best night I've had in a while.”
Her:”Me too.”
Me:”This feels like old times…us sharing a [Link] you
remember when we were little and we'd sleep in one
another's room?”I asked but my the question just hung
in the air with no response.
I looked on my side and saw that Noma was fast
asleep,lightly snoring with her lips parted.
I smiled and kissed her on her cheek,said good night and
turned on my side and slept a peaceful sleep.
I woke up in the morning and Noma wasn't on her
side,so I got up and went to take a shower then hurriedly
got dressed and took my bag then made my way into the
kitchen.
I shouted for King.
Him:”Yeah?”
Me:”Please tie my shoe for me,I can't bend I have a
horrible headache.”I whined.
Him:”Headache or hangover?”
Me:”Boy shut that mouth and tie that shoe before I
shove it up your butt.”he just laughed and tied my shoe
then went about his way.
I took a bottle of water from the fridge and went to the
lounge where I found Noma still in my nightie.
Me:”Oh hey babe.”I said as I rummaged my bag for
painkillers.
If found them and took out two from the container and
as I was about to throw them back Noma grabbed my
hand.
Me:”What?!”
Her:”You can't take pills on an empty stomach.”
Me:”I don't have time to sit down and eat and I need
these pills I have the mother of hangovers.”
Her:”Which is why I made you my special hangover
curing concoction,come.”she led me by hand to the
kitchen and took out a jug.
She poured a red and thick thingy in a glass and gave to
me to drink,I put the pills in my mouth and washed them
down with the fire red drink which tasted like stale pee
by the way!
Her:”So King sleeps on the couch.”this was a question
more than a statement.
Him:”Imagine!She moved me out of a mansion only to
have me sleep on a couch.”he said shaking his head.
Me:”You shut up and go start the car for me.”I threw the
keys at him.
Her:”Isn't this a two bedroom apartment?”she asked
folding her arms.
Me:”You see that…the Nomandla Musa Inquisition…that
I did not miss,and don't you have to be at work?”
Her:”I'm boss I don't HAVE to.”
Me:”Well some of us still HAVE to get licensure so let me
love *kiss* and leave *kiss* you baby,bye.”I said kissing
her on her cheek and off I went.
She screamed behind me saying we weren't done talking
and then ended up shouting “I love you.” I jumped into
the car and drove King to school.
Me:”Hey buddy,did you send lunch to my work
yesterday?”I asked as he was jumping off.
He looked at me like I had grown a third eye.
Him:”No,not that I don't have money for it but I was in
school.”he said in that ‘duh’ tone.
Me:”Oh okay,enjoy school then champ.”
Him:”Sure,enjoy work also.”we exchanged ‘I love yous’
and then I drove to work.
When I got there the first thing I noted was that I had no
flowers and I sighed out of relief,I put my things on my
table and then set out to work.
I really got into it but I was just feeling so tired so I took
time out and walked over to the cafeteria to get
something from the vending machine,I got a snickers bar
and snacked on that.
After a while there was a knock at my door,when I
looked up it was Noma.
Me:”Well someone is having detachment issues,all over
me like a bad rash.”I said with a smirk on my face.
Her:”Child please don't flatter yourself,I was just in the
neighbourhood and thought I should drop by.”
Me:”Oh is it,the neighbourhood?Between where your
practice is and where I work you're on the far side of the
tracks.”I said stifling a laugh.
She rolled her eyes and strode into my office.
Her:”For the humanitarian of the year.”she said setting
down a takeaway on my desk.
Me:”Humanitarian?”
Her:”Yes,Pamella [Link] you're running a refuge
camp or some sort of shelter out of your apartment?”
Me:”Noma,what are you on about?”
Her:”Sembi.”she said folding her arms.
Me:”Oh”I said in a low tone.
Her:”Yes oh,what is she doing back at your place?”
Me:”She's pregnant Noma,with nowhere to go.”
Her:”Her baby's father is a good place to start.”
Me:”You don't understand he doesn't want her.”
Her:”How's that your problem…wait,who IS the baby's
father?”
Me:”Africa.”
Her:”Pamella I thought you were over this guy.”
Me:”I am!”and I really am,I've closed that chapter to my
life and I'm never EVER going back to it.
Her:”Then you need to cut all ties to him and anything
that can link you to him,get rid of Sembi.”
Me:”What do you mean get rid of her?”I asked
perplexed.
You must forgive me I watch too much television and my
understanding of getting “rid” of someone is by putting
them six feet under.
Why would Noma make me an accomplice to murder!Oh
make that two murders because Sembi is pregnant.
Her:”I mean put her in a women's shelter there's
government officials that deal with things like this,you
can't make King sleep on the couch and have her sleep
on a comfortable bed.”
Me:”He doesn't mind,he actually likes her.”
Her:”The more reason to put her out,you've had enough
drama from the Zwane family and you don't need that
right now.”
Me:”O-kay.I'll talk to her.”she nodded.
Her:”Good.”her phone rang and all of a sudden she was
all giddy you could swear she wasn’t going off at me a
nanosecond ago!
We thank God for Tony otherwise she'll have bitten my
head off.
Her:”Babe I have to go,Tony has my car.”
Me:”He has your car,what did you use to get here?”
Her:”A cab.”
Me:”Why did you take a cab couldn't you wait for him to
bring your car?”
Her:”No the sight of Sembi made too mad I had to come
see you right away.”dramatic much?!
Me:”But you still had time to stop and buy food?”
Her:”Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and
you didn't have that and knowing you,you probably
grabbed a snickers bar and that's not a meal.”how did
she know this?!
Me:”Well the most important meal is the one you must
have before you drink but thanks anyways for the food.”
She came to kiss me and we hugged and then she
stepped out.
The rest of the day went on well,I knocked off and
headed straight home as I wasn't feeling well.I was
exhausted and had a mild headache.
Just outside my apartment door I found a bottle of wine
on the floor.
I picked it up and went inside,the bottle had a tag,
“I saw you throwing these back last night so I figured it's
your [Link] is fine,like you.
Enjoy”
The tag read and with the bottle almost slipping off my
hands out of shock I placed it on the table and took deep
breaths to calm myself.
The tag doesn't say whom the wine is from but I just
connected the dots in my brain and figured that it must
be the same person that sent me flowers and the lunch
but that's not what's making my hair stand it's the fact
that this person knows my movements and is probably
watching me and also they know where I work and
where I stay.
Me:”Sammy!...King!”I shouted for them.
They both came in the room.
Me:”Did any one of you perhaps see who left this at the
door?”I asked pointing to the bottle with my eyes.
Both of them shook their heads and said no.I found that
odd because I'm pretty sure that they were both home
when this arrived I just dismissed them but only Sammy
left,remind me talk to her later.
I began pacing the kitchen floor frying my brains trying to
think who could be doing this I won't lie and say I didn't
think of Africa but this isn't his style he likes to put names
on things if he had bought all these things it will say so.
Him:”Are you okay?”King said startling me,I hadn't
realized that he was still here.
I stopped my pacing and just looked at him.
Me:”Yeah,yeah I'm alright.I'm okay.”even as I said the
words they had no weight,I wasn't alright and I most
definitely wasn't [Link] why is this room so damn
hot?!
Him:”Okay let me rephrase is someone stalking or giving
you a hard time?”he asked in a firm tone.
Me:”What,[Link] would you even ask me something
like that?”
Him:”Because this morning you asked if I had bought you
lunch and now you have a wine bottle that you don't
even who it's from and also you're pacing up and down
muttering to yourself.”he said in that “should I go on?”
tone.
He was right but I didn't want him to worry about
anything because he's just started at a new school and I
want him to focus on that.
Me:”It's nothing really.”
Him:”It's not nothing,I can see this isn't sitting well with
[Link],who do you think it is?”
Me:”No one,just drop it okay?”
Him:”I can't drop it,I need to know if you're not safe and
in harm's way.I let my guard down around mom and dad
and look where that got me.”he said with a crack in his
voice but his face was void of any emotion.
Me:”Hey listen nothing like that is going to happen to
me,maybe this is nothing really.”
Him:”And for your sake I hope it really is nothing.”he said
and walked out.
Me:”Me too.”I said in a low voice.
I looked at the wine bottle in front me and just took it
and drained it down the sink and threw the bottle in the
trash can.
The days that followed I was mostly fatigued and always
feeling hot and had headaches,I took my painkillers
almost every day now but they didn't help much I was
meaning to go to Noma and have her prescribe
something stronger but I just couldn't find the time.
Noma would casually drop in at my office and it would
slip my mind to ask her but not all’s bad though I was to
meet up with my family during the weekend to mend
things and also Sembi is now my house keeper but the
most exciting news is that I haven't gotten any
mysterious gifts this week.
McGuy:”Ye Gods you're burning up.”he said feeling my
forehead with the back of his hand.
I had been fanning myself this whole time,this room is air
conditioned so I don't understand why it's so hot.
Me:”I feel so flushed.”
McGuy:”This has been happening for the past 2 days
now,you can knock off early and go see a doctor.”
Me:”Thank you so much”I sighed and collected my
things.
I wasn't really sure if I was going to see the doctor,all I
ever look forward to these days is a cold shower and my
bed.
I drove out and went straight to the doctor's office and
while waiting to be called up I was drinking water busy
opening and closing it,like it’s a prescription.
Finally it was my turn.
Dr Winters:”[Link] it's always a pleasure to see you.”
Me:”Likewise.”we hugged and she quickly pulled back
like I had electrocuted her.
Dr Winters:”Jesus you're burning up!”
Me:”Tell me about it.”
Dr Winters:”No no no,come up here and let me check
you up.”
And so I got up on the bed and she pulled out her
stethoscope and thermometer.
Dr Winters:”When did you start feeling like this?”I had
told her that I was constantly tired and had these hot
flushes.
Me:”Early this week.”
Dr Winters:”Okay your temperature suggests that you
have a fever but that's on the surface so I'll draw blood
so I can see what's really wrong,okay?”I nodded okay and
then she pulled out the injection and little sponge and
wiped me and did the things.
She told me to come back in two days that will be on
Friday,I bid her farewell and went home and got straight
to bed.
I did go back to Dr Winters on Friday and you could have
never prepared me for what she told me.
Dr Winters:”So your blood results are back and it is as I
suspected,it's not a [Link] blood results show a high
content of letrozole.”
Me:”In layman please.”
Dr Winters:”Oh letrozole is a fertility drug which is used
in ovarian stimulation and your fatigue and hot flushes
are side effects of the drug.”
Me:”What?!”I ask again baffled.
Dr Winters:”A fertility drug is…”I put my hand up to
silence her.
Me:”No no,I'm not asking what a fertility drug is.I'm
saying what because I don't believe that.I'm not trying to
have a baby.”
Dr Winters:”Than how do we explain the letrozole in
your system?”
Me:”Let's do research and come back and compare
notes!”I snap.
She just gives me a “whoa” look.
Me:”I'm sorry,okay.I'm just so frustrated.I don't know
how I could have taken a fertility drug without
knowing…wait…the only drugs I took were my
painkillers.”
Dr Winters:”What kind of painkillers?”
Me:”Adcodol here let me show you,I keep them with me
at all times.”I took them out my bag and showed her.
Dr Winters:”Let me have a look.”
She put on her latex gloves and put a few of the tablets
on her palm.
Dr Winters:”Yep this is it,femara.”
Me:”What?”
Dr Winters:”Oh it's another word for letrozole.”I shook
my head.
Me:”No that can't be!You don't understand those are my
pain tablets that my boyfrie…I mean ex boyfriend
BOUGHT FOR ME….hold up…DAMNIT!”I half shouted as I
came full circle with what was going on.
I get it now that little bastard was trying to get me
pregnant,he always made it his job to buy meds for me.
So he had a hand in that ectopic pregnancy,he was buys
feeding me fertility drugs in the hopes to get me
pregnant I guess it's a good thing he didn't have the
actual tool to do it,with his close to nothing shrimp dick!
I swear to God Africa just keeps popping in and out of my
life as he pleases,Noma was right I should cut all ties with
him and things that may link me to him,starting with
Sembi.
But how did he do that,the container says pain tablets
but it isn't pain tablets on the inside?
Dr Winters:”Are you okay?”
Me:”Yes doctor,[Link] you for your time.I must
get going.”I said getting up.
Dr Winters:”Anytime,you're my favourite patient you
know [Link],it's your prescription you'll get it out
front.”
Me:”Thank you so much,I'll call again?”I asked smiling.
Dr Winters:”You know you can't stay away from the
hospital even if you tried.”
We both laughed,hugged and then she saw me out.I
picked up my meds and threw away the “painkillers” on
my way out.
I won't lie I was very angry,one at myself because
ignorance isn't innocence and I should've checked what I
was putting inside my body it's just that I didn't think
Africa will deceive me this way,we both know I had no
business trusting a damned advocate!
Two,I'm mad at him for doing this to [Link] knows how
long I've been taking these fertility drugs that can lead to
osteoporosis in the long run.I wonder if he knew about
the side effects or his end goal was to knock me up and
he didn't care what happened to achieve that!
Me:”Aghhhh!”I said hitting the steering wheel.
He just makes me so mad!I wish I'd never met him,from
the moment we met he's done nothing but put my life at
risk.
I picked up my phone and called him.
Me:”Come on you little prick pick up your phone.”I
hissed.
He didn't he just sent me straight to voicemail and asked
me to leave a message after the beep and boy was I
going to leave an earful!
Me:”You sick and twisted bastard!Did you think I
wouldn't find out?...HUH?...insulting my damn
intelligent!Did you think I wouldn't find out that you've
been pumping me with FERTILITY DRUGS?...putting my
life at risk!You selfish [Link] I know now and I am
sooo glad that you couldn't get me [Link] couldn't
even if you tried you weakling of a man,man up and take
care of your baby and Sembi.I AM NOT AN
INCUBATOR!What I am is done with you,FOR GOOD!If I
could go back to the day I met your sorry ass,I would've
stayed home!”I clicked my tongue and hung up.
Then I just sat there and caught my breath,I got
disturbed by my phone chiming.
“I did that because I wanted a future with you,you don't
understand Pamella,I love you.
And if I can't have you,no one else can.”the text from
Africa read.
What?!Is he crazy?...don't answer that it's a rhetorical
question we all know this man is sick in the head.
What I won't take though is him thinking he owns me,I
am not his!He thought he was going to trap me with a
baby?!
I try calling him back but he doesn't [Link] so he can
text but not take my calls!I threw my phone on the
passenger's [Link] I should just throw this whole
phone away because he's the one that bought it for
me,but I have all my work e-mails and everything on it!I'll
find a way around it.
I started the car and drove out of the hospital with my
windows down heading to the mall for some fresh air
and retail therapy.
I had on my floral boob-tube maxi dress with flip flops
and big shades with a big straw hat.I took the hat off
inside the mall though.
I went and got something light to it with a sundowner
and then did a little shoe shopping for my graduation
party which is in April by the way,so save the date.
I was still feeling so hot I decided to just call it a dag,I
grabbed my bags and went to my car.
The walk to the parking lot just seemed to take forever
and I don't know by what fire or force but I made it to my
car and when I got there I was forced with the dilemma
of trying to open the door while holding all my shopping
bags.
“Can I help you with that?”an all too familiar voice asked.
Me:”No thanks I'm good.”
Him:”Pamella please,I insist.”
I was in no mood to argue with this annoying beautiful
specimen so I just gave him the key and he opened the
door for me.
Me:”Thanks.”I said all breathy.
Him:”The pleasure is all mine…hey…are you okay?You're
perspiring a lot.”
Me:”I don't feel too good.”I said almost crying,I was
burning up.
He felt my forehead.
Him:”You're on fire…wait Pamella…”those were the last
words I heard before my legs buckled and gave up on me
and then I was out cold.
I woke up moments later in a big bed with my head
pounding and throat harshly dry.
I was certain that I wasn't in my bed and I knew exactly
whose bed I was on,I looked on the side of the bed for
my phone but instead there was a bowl filled with water
and a towel.
The water was cold and I just sprinkled some on my face.
Him:”I'm glad you're up.”he said standing at the entrance
of the room.
Me:”What happened?”my voice came out all hoarse.I
mouthed “water” and he brought forward a glass of
water.
Him:”You did that fainting thing again”he said with his
signature slight smirk.
This one was dropped on his head when he was a baby I
swear,I just rolled my eyes at him.
Me:”And you didn't think to take me to a hospital?”
Him:”I did but I also thought that my mother is also a
nurse so I called her over to come check you out.”
Me:”What?”
Him:”I'm kidding I just called her to ask what to do with
you,the bowl with water and towel was all her idea.I had
ideas of my own also when I was all touching you when
you were asleep.”he said with an underlying dark tone.
I should be offended but I'm not.
Me:”You're insane.”I said fake appalled.
He shifted closer to where I was sitting and said in a low
husky tone,
Him:”I am insane -insanely in love with you.”my
breathing caught.
I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't form
actual words just ah’s and I’s.
Him:”Yes?”
Me:”Wh-where is my car?”I asked in a high pitch voice.
Him:”In my driveway,I took you in it.”my eyes widened.
Me:”Okay.I-I should get going.”
I didn't even give him a chance to say anything I jumped
out the bed and started out the door.
He called after me to wait but I didn't.
Him:”Pamella wait!”he said his tone more firm and
grabbing me by arm.
I had a stunned look on,he's never used that tone with
me before.I looked at his hand on my arm and then
looked at his face.I felt a flood of emotions
overwhelming me,I was astonished that he'd used that
tone with me and mad that he grabbed me like that.
Instead of shouting I just felt a sting of hot tears dance in
the back of my eyes and started blowing air out my
mouth because my nose was suddenly all blocked.
Him:”What are you doing?...Pamella?”a wave of panic
washed over his face.
I put bit my lip and not in the sexy way the I'm-trying-
stop-from-crying [Link] lips were trembling.
Him:”No no no,don't [Link]'t cry.”his “don't cry” was
my undoing I just let the tears flow.
And amid the crying I wanted to give him a piece of my
[Link] tried to touch me and I smacked his hand.
Me:”Don't you ever EVER shout at me again!”I said and
snorted.
Him:”I'm sorry baby,I didn't mean to shout at you.I just…I
just didn't want you to slip from my hand again.”
Me:”Well,whatever.I need to go.”
Him:”You don't need to go,Pamella you need to stop
running from this.”
Me:”I'm not running from anything Gumede,I'm just
tired.”I say to soften him up.
Him:”You can rest in me.”he said taking my hands in his
and brought them up to his chest.
I ran my hands over his broad chest and found my way to
his neck then his face.
Me:”You shaved.”I said running my hands on his jaws.
Him:”Can we address the elephant in the room,please
MaMusa.”he pleaded kissing the inside of my palm.
I took back my hands,I was getting a little irritated.
Me:”Okay.”he sighed and led me by hand to sit on the
bed.
Him:”Okay I think we've gone over the fact that I was
wrong and I'm sorry so that's out the way.”
I gave him a look.
Him:”Okay okay,I still am sorry and I forever will be sorry
for messing up my chances with you and breaking your
[Link] have to understand why I didn't tell you about
our relationship when you lost your memory,I didn't
want to confuse you and I also had my selfish reasons I
didn't want you to have that memory of me because I
regret ever letting you go.”
Me:”But you did it either way.”
Him:”I know which is why I tried to make things right,I
wanted you to know me as a person I didn't want you to
define me by that mistake I made.”
Me:”I understand.”
Him:”I don't want you to think that I slept with you to
feed my ego or anything it's because I love you,and when
it comes to you I'm insatiable.”the words tug at my heart.
Me:”Even I have to admit that,that was amazing.”
Him:”You're amazing outside and in.”he said and winked
at me.I got all moist down south.
Me:”Thanks but I have one request,can we…take things
slow?I've been through a lot,still am.I just don't…”he put
his index finger on my lips.
Him:”Shh you don't have to ask,I [Link]'re my
long distance wife I'll wait for you.”
Me:”I appreciate that.”he inched his face closer to mine
and our foreheads [Link] tilted his head that way
and looked at me.I blushed and looked [Link] used his
index finger to bring my face up to his and then took me
in his mouth.
I guess it's no use denying the feelings I have for Anthony
because they only seem to intensify but we'll take baby
steps for now.
While we were kissing my stomach growled.
Him:”Come I've prepared something to eat for
you,Gimba wam(my foodie)”he said when he pulled back
and put his had out for me to take.
We really should talk about him insulting me and then
offering me food,it's contradictory.
I was all sulking and he just broke out in a chuckle.
Him:”Don't make me drag you by your huge cute front
teeth to the kitchen.”I gasped and he was beside himself
with laughter.
He's such a hot nuisance.I stormed out the room and
found my own way the kitchen.
Him:”Wait babe,I'm sorry.”he was saying sorry but he
couldn't stop laughing I wanted to cry.
He came and held me from behind and kissed me on my
neck.
Me:”You're stupid.”
Him:”And you're stuck with me.”he said matter-of-fact.
Me:”Jesus what did I sign up for”I said putting my hand
on my face.
Him:”A whole lot of loving…and food.”he said setting a
chicken and mayo sandwich in front of me.
I smiled and said thank you then started eating.
Me:”Can I please eat my food in peace without you
kissing me every 2 seconds?”he just looked at me and
smiled and then kissed me on the bridge of my nose.
I gave up eating and was ready to punch him on the face
but he just gave me that slight smirk of his and I melted.
I got up and put my one leg between his leg and stood on
my toes to kiss him but he just picked me up and was
about to set me on the counter when we heard someone
clear their throat.
Antonella:”What's going on here?”she was with their
mom.
I was so embarrassed I kept my head buried on
Anthony's neck.
Him:”I've brought my wife home.”he said looking at me.
Ma’Gumede:”You've done well son.”she
[Link] just kept looking around the room all
confused.
I just put my head on his [Link] much for “taking
baby steps” I'm all mushy and leeching on him.
Him:”What are you guys doing here?”
Ma’Gumede:”We came to check up on her.”
Me:”Ngyabonga Mah(thank you).”I said bowing.
Antonella:”Mom you didn't tell me you were coming
here to check up on HER you asked me to drive you
because something is wrong at Anthony's!”
Ma’Gumede:”Welcome back makoti.”she said and smiled
her infectious smile and I smiled sheepishly too.
My heart was doing cartwheels,the love from Anthony
and his mom reverberated from them to me and I felt it,I
was happy,genuinely.
Chapter 17
Days have passed since I did that “fainting thing” as my
boyfriend said…yes you heard me I said boyfriend
although he insists that he is “my man” and not a boy-
friend…Anthony…ahh man that guy knows how to
boyfriend man!...he is wonderful and our definition of
“taking things slow” is not having sex because as far as
taking things slow goes we've been going out every other
day and have sleepovers where we'd stay up all night
talking and roasting each other.
As I was saying days passed and we were in February the
month of love and boy oh boy had cupid got me bad!I'm
not all happy about this month though because I won't
have a birthday,my birthday is on the 29th of February
and the month ends on the 28th this year and this
Gumede fool made a joke about it saying he's lucky he
won't have to go through the trouble of buying me a gift
oh but he doesn't know what's in store for him should he
not buy me that gift!
Speaking of the fine specimen,it was a Sunday and we're
chilling doing what we do best heathen-ing if there's such
a thing.
So we were on the couch and I had both my feet up on
his lap and he was massaging them now and again,we
were busy chatting completely oblivious of the t.v. we
had on.
Me:”So what black magic did you use on me?.”I asked
popping a grape in my mouth.
Him:”What?”he asked in a knowing tone with his brows
furrowed.
Me:”Come on don't act stupid,I almost always faint
around you.”I asked squinting my eyes and giving him an
accusatory eye.
Him:”Well I've been known to take people's breaths
away.”he said beaming.
Me:”Pshh please don't flatter yourself.”
Him:”I have you to flatter me.”he said all smug.
Me:”Mtcheww,whatever.”I said rolling my eyes and I
heard him suppress a laugh at the back of his throat.
I turned my attention to the t.v.
Him:”Baby?”
Silence.
Him:”Babe?”he said in a sing song way.
Me:”What?!”
Him:”Ahh.”he said opening his mouth wide.
Me:”No.”I said with my lips perched.
Him:”Please baby can I have a grape?”he asked pouting.
Me:”Go ask the people whose breaths you take away.”
Him:”Oooh getting jealous aren't we?”
Me:”Me?Jealous?God bless your delusional heart.”I said
scoffing,he broke out in a chuckle.
Him:”I think it's a little cute that you're jealous.”he
moved towards me and went in for a kiss.
We kissed and swiftly he flipped me over and I was
sitting on top of him straddling him.
While I was busy dry humping him and he was squeezing
my butt so I couldn't help the yelping moan that escaped
my mouth and it was at that exact moment that we
heard someone clear their throat.
Anthony jumped almost throwing me on the floor.
Him:”Mom?Dad?...what are you guys doing here?”he
asked pushing me behind him.
He was topless and I was only in his shirt missing my
pants.
Ma’Gumede:”We've come to see you,makoti?”she stuck
out her head and took a peek at me behind her son.
I greeted her and her husband back with my eyes drilled
to the floor,I excused myself in a low voice and almost
ran up the stairs.I heard Bab’Gumede behind me asking
Anthony “this is why you don't come to church you're
busy cohabiting” and my heart almost fell that man has
never liked me.
I got to the bedroom and changed into a skirt,I just
tucked in Anthony's shirt and wore a headscarf then just
sat on the bed,I figured the longer I took getting down
the less time I have to be there.
Him:”Are you planning on coming down any time soon?”I
turned to see him leaning on the door.
Me:”Uhh…yeah.”
He walked in the room and crouched in front of me.
Him:”Talk to me,why are you hiding up here?”
Me:”I'm not hiding,just wanted to give you and your
parents space to talk.”he gave me the “you can do better
than that” look.
Him:”Babe,my parents are yours as much as they are
mine.”
Me:”But not your dad.”the words rolled off my tongue
before I could stop them.
I held my breath waiting for his response.
Him:”So that's what this is about?”
I nodded and he took my hands into his.
Me:”I don't think he likes me.”
Him:”He does and even if he didn't you're not his to
like,I'm the one you're with and I like you…very much.”
Me:”It's just babe I don't want for it to be any tension
when me and your father are in the same room you
know.”
Him:”That makes the two of us,I want the same between
me and your father.”
Me:”Can you imagine both of our fathers don't like either
of us for the other,I just don't understand why though.”
Him:”It's a long story,but we made the mistake of letting
them dictate our relationship once and we both know
how that turned out so we're no longer going to care
what they say,okay?”I nodded and he gave me a peck on
my lips.
Ma’Gumede:”Are you both decent for me to come
in?”she asked already inside the room with her one hand
covering her eyes.
Him:”You can open your eyes mom.”he said in a bored
tone.
Ma’Gumede:”Don't be cheeky with me wena,I just didn't
want any surprises after the one I walked in on
downstairs.”oh Lord.
Him:”That's why you knock before you enter someone's
house better yet you call to say you're coming then you
won't get any surprises.”his mother smacked him at the
back of his head.
Ma’Gumede:”I'm still your mother.”
Him:”What was that for?”he whined.
Ma’Gumede:”For that smart mouth of yours,anyway we
thought that since YOU couldn't make it to Sunday lunch
we'd bring the Sunday lunch to you.”
Him:”Ma don't lie you and your husband are just bored
and now you're here to harass us.”she tried to smack him
again but he backed away and laughed.
Ma’Gumede:”One of these days I'll smack you to death.”
Him:”You love me too much.”she raised his hand to shut
him up.
Ma’Gumede:”What have you done to my makoti,she's all
quiet.”she gave him a suspecting eye.
Him:”Why does it have to be me?She's scared of your
husband.”I gave Anthony a deadly look,how can he say
that?
She came and sat next to me.
Ma’Gumede:”What's wrong my baby?”
Him:”She thinks he doesn't like her.”we both snapped
our necks and gave him bored looks.
Ma’Gumede:”Boy you are just asking me to smack the
hell out of you,can I talk to my daughter-in-law please?”
He just shrugged and mumbled something under her
breath.
Ma’Gumede:”Now my baby talk to your real mother-in-
law.”oh I must tell you that she's never gotten over the
fact that Sam’s mom called me her daughter-in-law she
just told me that she let it slide because I'm her favourite
makoti which made me wonder if I'm the favourite are
there other ones that she doesn't like?but,that's the
story for another day.
Me:”Well ma it's like your son said,I don't think
ubaba(your husband) likes me.”
Ma’Gumede:”It's many things my husband doesn't like
and you're not it and either way you're not his to
like.”Anthony punched the air.
Him:”I told her the very same [Link] you say
mom,great minds think alike,huh?”he said and raised his
hand for a high five.
Ma’Gumede:”You shut up.”his face fell.
I giggled these two are so alike.
Ma’Gumede:”There is my beautiful makoti that I know
and love,come on sweetie let's go downstairs and
prepare something to eat for these Gumede morons.”I
heard Anthony gasp.
Him:”Mom!”
Ma’Gumede:”Make sure you put a top on before you
come down,the one you came up here to put on before I
found you sucking faces with makoti.”my eyes widened.
No this woman doesn't beat around the bush,she calls a
spade a spade.
Ma’Gumede:”Come on dear.”she literally dragged me all
the way to the kitchen.
We made lunch and sat around the table eating and
having light [Link] and Bab’Gumede hardly
said two words to each other but we were cordial to one
another and I was fine with that.
Round about the time they left I also went to take a quick
shower and got ready to go back to the apartment.
Speaking of the apartment Mr Dad asked me to move
back home yes you heard that right me and Mr Dad are
talking again actually me and my whole family made
peace,I went over the house for dinner and everyone
admitted their faults and there apologies and I miss yous
and I love yous went all round the table,and then we
were all fine.
I also got to sit down with Anele and Nonz and we
smoothed things over and let me tell you making peace
with everybody and letting go of the past has made my
life sooo much easier,I'm happier and more alive.
So,speaking of the apartment Mr Dad asked me to move
back home and everyone especially King seconded that
motion but I flat out turned down the [Link] that I
don't want to go back home but I just like having my own
place you know my own space plus around here is where
Anthony can come and go as he pleases -when I want
him to so thanks,but no thanks.
Ok so I took my shower while Anthony packed the dishes
I don't know how his mom got him and his dad to do the
dishes but they did,you can see they respect her and I
admire that about her.
I finished up and then he drove me back.
The next day I woke up and went to work,I no longer had
the stress of first dropping King off at school as Mr Dad
had organized a ride to take him every morning,I swear
Mr Dad has found a grandchild to spoil in King and this
made me really happy because I wanted King to have all
the love a family has to offer.
The week quickly went by and on the Valentines
weekend I decided that me and my girlfriends have a
slumber party on Friday because truly speaking we have
a lot to catch up on and my god daughter's birth was fast
approaching Anele is due in March but looks about ready
to push the baby out don't let her hear that because
she'll chew your head off…literally,she has such a huge
appetite.
So on Friday I knocked off at work and first went to the
shops to buy fruits and cheese and non-alcoholic wine
for Anele together with spray whipped cream and some
chocolate cake.
I then drove home to help Sammy do touch ups on the
food and everything don't you dare give me that look I
know I had said that I was going to get rid of her but
she's just been a great help around the place just you
look she prepared all that I would've been all tired to do
after work so we're still keeping her.
Me:”Hey boo,you're already leaving?”I asked King when
he walked in with his backpack.
Him:”Yup,see you Sunday babe,bye.”he kissed me and
off he went.
He was going over to Mr Dad's to spend the weekend,I
had asked him to just sleep in my room since me and the
girls were going to use the lounge and he refused
suggested that it would be “better” if he just went to his
old room back home but we both know he just wanted to
spend time with his grandpa,those two they get along
like a house on fire.
Her:”Yeah she's here.”Sammy said handing me my
phone,I looked at the caller I.D and mouthed thanks.
Him:”Babe?”
Me:”Hey baby.”
Him:”I'm really not seeing you today?”
Me:”But baby,we've been through this.”and we've BEEN
talking about it,well I did the talking and he was sulking.
Him:”Just because we talked a couple times doesn't
mean I'm okay with that.”I almost laughed he's such a
baby.
Me:”My love I'll be with you tomorrow for Valentine's
and I'll wear that maroon velvet number you like.”I heard
him smile.
Him:”You're bribing me with a dress?”
Me:”Is it working?”
Him:”A little.”I heard a knock at the door.
Me:”That must be the girls,my love I have to go.”
Him:”Okay Ma’Gumede ngyakthanda yezwa(I love
you,okay?)”I flushed.
Me:”Ngyakthanda nami Yeyeye(I love you too).”I said
and he hung up.
I went over to the door and Sammy had already let them
in,see what I meant when I said that she's helpful.
Me:”Thank you Sammy,hi babies.”I hugged them and we
gave each other kisses.
I went to show them to my room where they changed
into their night wear and then we all sat down on the
throw I laid out on the floor with scatter cushions and a
picnic basket with all the fruits and cutlery.
I put on the Sex and The City marathon and the slumber
party began.
We spent the night chatting and eating and drinking and
painting toe nails and taking pictures then drinking some
more until I got a text from Anthony saying that he was
outside my apartment.
“what are you doing here at this time?”I replied.
“I'm hungry.”was his response.
“at this time?you have got to give me more than that.”
“I really am baby,I swear.”
“you're lying you just want to see me in what I have on.”
“[Link] got me.”
I just knew it,the other day I had dragged him along with
me when I went shopping for this black satin nightie with
matching silk robe and he made a face when I told him
that it wasn't for him and I'm well aware that he saw the
picture I posted on Instagram of me and the girls
captioned “ok ladies now let's get in formation feels
good to be with these two again.” And there was
someone who commented saying “Dr Musa looks good
without the coat on and in that little number I wonder
how you look underneath.” I clicked on the person's
name which was @az_jnr and went straight to their
account which had no display picture or posts or any
followers for that matter,I didn't get terrified as I would
have if I was sober and I deleted and reported the
comment.
Enough about Instagram creeps back to my man baby.
“ok you come up and I'll give you something to eat.”I sent
a winking face.
“I'll be right there.”I giggled and got up to my feet.
Anele:”And you where are you going?”
Me:”Anthony is here.”
Nonz:”He couldn’t stay away one night,what are you
giving him?”
Me:”Make that what I am not giving him.”I said smiling.
Anele:”Wait so you aren't giving him any but he's still
going so crazy over you?”we heard a knock.
Nonz:”That was fast.”
Me:”Shh he won't be staying,he's just here to get
something to eat.”
I went over and answered the door.
Me:”Baby,you're [Link] on in.”I opened the door
wider for him to get in.
Him:”Hello ladies.”
Both:”Hey Anthony.”
Me:”Right this way my love.”I led him by arm to the
kitchen.
As soon as we were out of the girls view he grabbed me
by the waist and kissed me hungrily.
And we went at it for a few minutes with our rushed
breaths stretching out in the room until I pulled back.
Him:”You look so good.”I wonder how can he see with
those Asian red seductive eyes.
Me:”I should get you your food.”he smiled.
I dished up for him and warmed it up,as I was waiting for
the microwave to finish up I could feel his eyes gawking
at me and it took everything in me to not turn and jump
his fine looking ass in that tank vest and sweat pants and
flip flops.
The microwave rang and I took out his food and set it
before him with a glass of apple juice then I turned to
leave,he grabbed my arm.
Him:”You're not going to eat with me?”I shook my head
no.
Me:”I'll be in the lounge if you need me.”I gave him a wet
peck and Naomi Campbell-ed out of the kitchen to the
lounge because I knew he was watching.
Nonz:”Soooooo,has he eaten?”she asked winking at me.
Me:”Not now devil.”I said and picked up my glass of
wine.
I constantly fought the edge to get up and go check on
him but I wasn't going to because he knew that I was
having a slumber party but decided to come over here to
seduce me.
Anele:”I need the bathroom.”Nonz helped her get on her
feet.
Me and Nonz stayed back and continued to watch the
movie when all of a sudden Anele came back all huffing
and puffing.
Anele:”Oh girl you better check up on your man before
that Sammy sinks her claws onto him.”I shot up from my
seat.
Me:”WHAT?!”I sobered up right that minuted.
That tramp!
I stormed into the kitchen and caught Sammy running
her hands on Anthony.
Me:”What is going on here Gumede?”
Him:”I think that the lady was on her way.”
Me:”No one leaves this room till I know what the hell is
going on,Sembi?”
Her:”I am so sorry sis’Pamella it's just these hormones
playing tricks on me.”she said and then started tearing
up.
On that hormones and tears bull won't work with me.
Me:”Your hormones are playing tricks on
you?TRICKS?You're the trick here and I can't believe
you'd do this when I'm the one that took you in when
you had absolutely nowhere to go and this is the thanks I
get?!”I was spitting fire.
Her:”I'm sorry,I don't know what got into me.”she said
sniffing.
Me:”I'll tell you what got into you,your hoe demon and
I'm casting you and it [Link]!Come on,out of my
house!”
Him:”Baby,calm [Link] don't have to throw her out.”
Me:”You stay out of this Gumede.”I hissed and I saw him
coil I know he doesn't like it when I raise my voice with
him especially in the presence of company but right now
I don't care.
Her:”Please sis,it's too late in the night I don't know
where I'll go,please.”she dramatically threw her sleep on
her knees and started begging.
I don't know why I trusted this bitch in the first place.
Me:”Get up and get out of my house.”I said with a drop
of temperature in my voice.
Anele:”Pam it's late and she's pregnant.”she said
pleading with me.
Me:”She should've thought about that.”
Nonz:”Give her the whole night to think about it and
then she can leave in the morning.”
I looked around the room and saw that the odds were
stacked up against me.
Me:”I want you out of here first thing in the
morning.”drops mic and walks out the room.
I went straight to my bedroom and closed the door
behind me and threw myself on the bed and lay facing
up.
This is not how I imagined the night turning [Link] a
while there was a knock at my door.
Me:”It's open.”I said and sat up on the bed,it was
Anthony.
Him:”Baby.”he said in a low voice.
I felt a burning anger build up inside of me and I got up
from the bed and charged towards him.
Before I could stop myself I slapped him,he shook his
head and then I started crying.
Me:”How could you do that?”I saw him clenching his jaw.
Him:”I didn't do anything babe.”I tried to slap him again
but he blocked me and held my arm.
Me:”But you let her think she could!”I said and started
bawling.
Him:”You will not do that again and not EVER,I don't care
how mad you are Pamella but you don't raise your hand
to me.”he said through his teeth,I snatched my arm from
him.
Me:”I think you should leave.”
Him:”I'm not going anywhere,we're going to talk about
this and then I'm going to take you on that bed.”I looked
around like I didn't know where my bed is.
He can't be thinking about sex while I'm in the middle of
the room in a short nightie and silky robe on top…oh I get
it.
Me:”You weren't supposed to be here to begin with all of
this wouldn't have happened had you not come here.”
Him:”But I'm already here and you're too sexy to be
crying in that outfit.”
I kept sniffing and he just pulled me to him,he blocked
my speech with his tongue which is how he swallowed
my moans all throughout the night as he tossed and
flipped and slid in and out of my interior being because
we both subconsciously knew that the walls aren't at all
sound proof.

Well so much for taking things slow,me and Anthony

went on like rabbits the whole night till the wee hours.
I woke up the next morning feeling tender and all mushy
and when I turned on my side there he was,staring right
at [Link] happens almost every time,he always wakes
up before me and I'd find him just looking at me.I once
joked him with him and said that he looks he's plotting all
the ways to kill me and I was never ready for his
response,he said if I ever hurt him he'd kill me AND
himself and that kind of freaked me out but he laughed
about it so I didn't take it seriously.
He saw me and smiled that knowing smile and
remembering how his tongue rolled and licked and
flicked all of last night I flushed and pulled the covers up
to my face.
Him:”Good morning beautiful.”
Me:”Hi.”I said shyly.
Him:”Hi.”he said and kissed me.
Me:”I'm surprised you're still in bed,I thought you'd be
out for your morning jog.”I said when I pulled back.
Him:”Well I was hoping we could do another kind of
exercise.”he said and got in between my legs.
Me:”No Anthony stop.”I said giggling.
Him:”But that's not what you were saying last night.”
Me:”What was I saying last night?”
Him:”Oh baby don't stop.”he said imitating my voice and
I pushed him off me and hit him lightly.
Then we began play fighting and I was losing shame,I
tapped out and he let go of me.
I threw myself back on the bed and lay facing up
breathing heavily and he also took his place beside me
and we lay in a relative silence.
Him:”Being a sore loser?”he asked when I slapped his
hand trying to touch me.
I kept quiet because I had all these thoughts about last
night running through my mind and yes,him and I might
have made sweet love but unfortunately dick can't wipe
my memory I can still vividly see Sembi running her
hands on him and the image made me flinch.
Him:”Baby I can see something isn't right with you,talk to
me.”
Me:”I was just thinking about last night.”
Him:”What about last night?”is he really going to ask me
that question.I gave him a look and he shrugged,guess I
have to spell it out for him.
Me:”I'm thinking about you and Sembi.”
Him:”Whoa baby back up,you're making it sound like me
and her have a thing and you know I had never met that
girl before last night.”
Me:”I know baby it's just…you let her touch you.”my
voice came out small.
Him:”Come on Pam that's not how it happened and you
know this.”
Me:”Do I?Anthony,do I really know?!”
Him:”I seriously don't get why you're so worked up about
this,I thought we got over it.”I looked at him stunned.
Me:”Got over it?How did we get over it Anthony,with
sex?”
Him:”I can't talk to you when you're like this.”
Me:”Oh?Okay then,[Link] out.”I said holding the door
open with tears running down my face.
He came and stood in front of me with no clothes on,I
tried looking at his face but my eyes were just drawn
down south.
Me:”Could you please put some clothes on.”
Him:”Not until you tell me what's really going on,we
were fine when we went to sleep and now you're all
upset and crying,it breaks my heart to see you cry.”he
said wiping off a tear.
Me:”People who go past here will see you naked.”
Him:”Well let them see all your goods.”my lips twitched
in smile and I reluctantly closed the door.
Me:”Well what I'm going to say will sound silly.”
Him:”If it makes you cry,it's not at all silly.”he said
squeezing my hand.
Me:”Ok well…I have a rep of being cheated on by the
men I've been with and one cheated with her and when I
saw the both of you in that position…”
Him:”Well I'm not those men baby and I don't know how
else to say this but I hardly know the girl.”
Me:”But you let her touch you.”
Him:”That's not how it happened.”
Me:”Then tell me how it happened.”I was literally
begging and the sound was pathetic to my ears.
Him:”I was in the kitchen putting away the dishes when
she came in behind me and put her arms on me and I
thought it was you and when I turned it wasn't and that's
when I pushed her to the floor.I felt bad when I saw that
she was pregnant so I helped her up and that's when you
walked in and she was running her hands on me saying
she could “show me a good time”.
Me:”So she came on to you?”
Him:”Yes and I'm sorry that I let her babe,I would never
do that to you and never in your place plus the girl is
pregnant.”I don't think this man can hear the things that
come out his mouth.
Me:”And if she wasn't pregnant?”
Him:”Even if she wasn't baby,I still wouldn't touch her.I
would never disrespect your house or you like
[Link]'re every thing that I want and need,you're the
woman for me.”he cupped my face and kissed me on my
forehead.
Me:”The feeling is mutual,I feel like you're the man for
me but I just don't want to get hurt,you know.”
Him:”I know babe,I won't hurt you.I love you MaMusa.”
Me:”I love you too now pleaaase put your clothes on I
can't think straight.”
Him:”Well I can give you another head to think with.”he
said winking and biting the bottom of his lip.
He pushed me onto the bed and I bumped on it giggling
and he came on top of me and stilled and just took a long
look at me.
I was about to say something when just slid in and I
arched my back gasping.
Him:”I love you.”he whispered over and over mirroring
his thrusts.
After the morning glory we had I put on something to
wear and went out to make us something to eat.
Me:”Good morning,what are we having for breakfast?.”I
said in sing song as I entered the kitchen.
Anele:”Sis it's 12.”
Nonz:”And after 12 it's lunch.”
Me:”Yeah yeah whatever.”
Nonz:”You ditched us yesterday.”
Anele smacked her hand.
Nonz:”What?”
Anele:”She didn't do it deliberately.”
Me:”No it's okay I'm sorry you guys.”
Anele:”It's okay baby,you look so much better than you
were [Link] do you feel?”
Me:”I feel good!”
Nonz:”And we know why.”she winked at me.
Anele:”Make that,we heard why.”my eyes widened.
Me:”Oh my God you guys I am so sorry.”I said with my
hand on my mouth.
Him:”I'm not,good morning ladies.”he walked in and
gave me a kiss on my cheek.
Me:”Uhh babe what are you doing here,I was going to
bring the food to the room.”
Him:”I came to get some water,I am parched!”he winked
at me and I flushed crimson red.
Anele:”You guys get a room.”
We just both laughed and then he went out the room.
Me:”I don't see Sembi anywhere you guys think she left
already?”
Nonz:”I haven't seen her either.”
Me:”Let me go check her room.”
I went and knocked in her room but no one answered so
I opened the door only to find her seated on the bed.
She just cast her eyes towards the door then looked back
down,she looked like she had been crying.
Me:”Oh,you're still here.”
Her:”I have nowhere else to go.”
Me:”I don't care you should've thought about that before
trying to make a move on my man but,I just want to
know why you did it,after all I've done for you?”
Her:”You wouldn't understand.”
Me:”Try me.”I said folding my arms.
Her:”Africa made me do it.”
Me:”Oh come on Sembi that's the oldest excuse in the
book,really?You're going to put this on Africa?”
Her:”See I told you you wouldn't believe me,he told me
you wouldn't.”she started crying.
Me:”What?!He's made contact with you?”
Her:”Yes.”
Me:”When?”
Her:”A while back,I had been contacting him about the
baby for a while and he wouldn't pick up and then one
day he answered and asked me if I wanted us to be a
family and of course I did but he wanted for me to do
something for him [Link] said he wanted me to spy on
you and keep staying here and he'd send me money for
the baby,I refused and next thing I know he showed up
to the house.”that caught my attention.
Me:”Africa was here?”
Her:”A handful of times when you and Nkosi were out
the house.”
Me:”Doing what?”
Her:”I have no idea but some day he came in with guys
who set up cameras in your room.”
Me:”WHAT?!”my eyes were all out.
Her:”He told me to not say anything and that if I did I will
regret the day I was born and he also asked me to cause
a raft between you and Anthony.”
Me:”He said that?”
Her:”Yes,it's all in here.”she handed me her phone and I
read all the texts between her and Africa.
Me:”This guy has gone too far,he's insane!”
Her:”You're telling me.”
Me:”Look Sembi,I'm sorry but I can't keep you here.”
Her:”I understand.”
Me:”But I could help you with money to get away from
here.”
Her:”Thanks you’ve been good to me.”
Me:”It's the least I could do,listen get your stuff and I'll
go freshen up so we can go to the bank.”
She said okay and I walked into my room to get my
toiletries.
Him:”Hey babe where's my food?”
Me:”Oh sorry babe I left it in the kitchen.”
Him:”Is everything okay you look disturbed?.”I wonder
how he does that,be able to tell my every mood?
Me:”Yeah everything is okay.”
Him:”Where are you headed then?”
Me:”Oh I'm going out for a few minutes I won't be long.”
Him:”Okay but you won't find me here when you come
back.”
Me:”Oh,that's alright.”
Him:”Yeah but I'm still picking you up for dinner.”
Me:”Okay see you later then baby.”
Him:”You're sure everything is alright,babe?”
Me:”Yeah totally.”don't give me that look!I know
everything is not fine but I'm not about to worry Anthony
about nothing,I'll handle this.
I went to take a quick shower and when I came out he
was already about to leave also.
Me:”Oh babe can you please leave with my weekender
bag?”I asked and winked at him,he gave me a wicked
smile.
The real reason why I'm spending the weekend over at
Anthony's is because I'm scared to be alone in this
place,with King and Sammy gone I don't know what will
be of me.
Me and Sammy went to the bank and I drew out some
money for her and wished her farewell then I spent
almost the whole day at the mall dreading to go back to
the apartment.I also called up some I.T company to come
over to the place and do a sweep for any bugs and
everything and they said they can only come in on
Monday.
I bought a new dress and new shoes and went over to
Anthony's to freshen up and wore what I had bought.
We went out and had a romantic dinner but my mind
wasn't there at all and he picked it up so we left dinner
early and when we got to his place he gave me a full
body massage which led to other things.
The next day I took Ma’Gumede up on her offer to go to
church with her,at this rate I need Jesus and all his
disciples to deliver me from Africa.
The next day I called in sick at work and went over to my
place to wait for the I.T people to come in.
I got surprised when I saw Anthony at my door with two
other man.
Me:”Welcome gentlemen,what are you doing here
babe?”
Him:”I'm on my job.”
Me:”Oh okay,come in.”
They came inside and Anthony started giving out orders
to the two men and then they disappeared around the
apartment leaving me and him alone.
Him:”I thought you said everything was fine then why
would you call for a sweep of the place?”
Me:”I didn't know that they'd send you.”I swear in my
head this sounded less stupid.
Him:”Oh so you WERE hiding this from me?”he looked
offended.
Me:”Yes…no…not in that way my love,I just…I just didn't
want to worry you.”
Him:”MaMusa you know when it comes to you I worry,so
tell me what's going on.”
I heaved a sigh and then told hi everything that Sembi
had told me and I saw him flinch and get angry with
every sentence.
Him:”I swear to God if I get my hands on that
bastard!.”he hissed forming fists with his hands.
Me:”He's not worth it baby.”
While we were talking one of the guys walked in.
Guy:”I found something.”he said waving something in
the air.
Me:”What's that?”
Guy:”Nanny cams.”
Anthony:”Thank you Juice I'll take it from here,you guys
make sure there's nothing else in this place and you can
be on your way.”the guy nodded.
He then took my hand and led me to my bedroom and
fired up his [Link] took something from the camera
and put it on his laptop.
Him:”Let's see what this bastard has been looking at.”
He kept working on his laptop and I just sat there beside
him waiting to see.
After a while I saw a picture of my room and there I was
taking off my clothes and getting in bed.I felt something
in me shrink and I felt small and disgusted that Africa was
watching me the whole time and invaded the privacy of
my home.
The video played on and on and I was trying to stop
watching but something caught my attention.
Me:”Wait,wait baby go [Link]'s that?”I asked
pointing at the screen.
He rewind the video a little and there we were me and
him getting intimate and Africa had seen it all.
Me:”Oh my God.”I said covering my mouth at the brink
of tears.
Him:”Pamella you have to let me kill [Link] have to let
me kill this bastard!How dare he?!”
Me:”I don't feel safe here.”
Him:”You're not which is why you're moving I with me.”
Me:”No babe I'll go back home.”
Him:”Okay don't worry I'll take care of everything and try
to track this guy and get where he is.”
Me:”Thanks.”
Him:”Don't worry I've got you baby.”he kissed me on the
bridge of my nose.
He helped me pack my clothes and then he drove me
back to Mr Dad's and I was welcomed by Tiffany at the
door.I wasn't up for any chit chatter so I just went
straight to my room.
I slept and woke up to missed calls and texts from
Anthony asking if I'm okay,I returned his call and
sounded relieved when I did,shame man he was really
worried about me and I felt safe knowing that I have him
looking out for me.
I didn't even join my family for dinner Ma’Dlamini just
brought my food up and stayed with me till I fell asleep
again.
The next day I woke up and went to work,I had already
completed my 3,000 hours of supervised experience and
just went in to work to pass time as I was waiting on my
licensure.
As I was busy Cindy called me to the front desk and there
was a parcel for me and again it didn't say who it was
from but I had done the math in my head and figured it
was Africa.
I thanked Cindy and took the parcel to my [Link] was a
little box and it was written “for our eyes only” with a
winking face.
I opened it and inside there was a memory stick with a
ribbon on it,I took it and put the memory stick in my
laptop.
While I was waiting for it to show up on the laptop my
phone rang and it was none other than Anthony who
calls every 20 minutes.
While I was busy on the phone with him something
covered the whole of my laptop screen and a video
started playing.
It was a video of my room and of that day me and
Anthony got intimate in my room but something was off.
Me:”Babe hold on for a minute…WHAT THE HELL?!”my
phone slipped out of my hand from the shock I had.
Sure it was a video of me and Anthony but that wasn't
Anthony's face in that,it was Africa!He had
photoshopped the whole thing and put his face in there.
The whole thing was revolting but I couldn't understand
why Africa was doing this to me.I couldn't keep watching
tears just streamed down my face and I got hysterical.
Me:”Why would you do this to me?WHY!!!!!”
Anthony was still on the line but I didn’t get back to him I
just snapped my laptop shut and buried my head in my
arms crying till Cindy came in and asked me what's
wrong.
I couldn't tell her,I couldn't find the words I kept
[Link] picked up my phone and spoke to Anthony
and they agreed on God knows what.
Cindy started packing my stuff for me and after a while
Anthony came bursting into my office and the instant his
eyes laid on me I just couldn't the tears he rushed to me
and took me in his arms and let me cry until my cries
were inaudible.
Him:”I'm going to get you out of here okay?”I nodded
slowly and he picked me up with Cindy following behind
him with my stuff.
We got to his car and he put me in the backseat.
Me:”Thank you.”I said to Cindy.
Cindy:”It's a pleasure Dr Musa.”she nodded and went
away.
Anthony thanked her also then got inside and started the
car and drove straight to his house.
He asked me what happened and instead of telling him I
just showed him because really actions speak louder than
words and I had no words to explain how I feel right now.
I fired up my laptop and showed him the video and he
got so worked up and threw my laptop across the
room,all of my work is in there but ok he's an I.T geek he
can fix it.
Him:”Well this time he as gone too fucking far!”
I just kept quiet and watched him work himself up into a
fit and making calls to I don't know who.
Him:”And you know what pisses me off the most is that I
can't fucking track this clown down and yet he can make
contact with us.”
Me:”I'll try to go and see him.”he looked at me like I had
grown a toe on my forehead.
That was my last resort I just wanted to meet him and
find out what he wants so I can find out what he wants.
Him:”I won't let you do that.”
Me:”I'm not asking you Gumede I'm doing this for peace
sake I just want to know what he wants,I'm tired of all
this.”I said and fresh tears stung at my eyes.
Anthony just calmed himself down and came to embrace
me.
Him:”Okay babe but I'm coming with you.”
I tried to argue with him but he was hell bent on coming
with so I let him be.
The next day I went alone to meet up with Bab’Zwane
since I couldn't get hold of his son and Anthony finally
agreed to not come with when I spoke to him.
Bab’Zwane:”Makoti.”I just about rolled my eyes to the
back of my head.
Me:”Thank you for agreeing to see me.”
Bab’Zwane:”The pleasure is all mine although I must say I
was surprised to hear from you.”
Me:”Please Bab’Zwane this isn't a social call,I need to
know where your son is.”
Bab’Zwane:”Why?”
Me:”Because I need to talk to him,he has to stop
harassing me otherwise I'll get a restraining order against
him.”
Bab’Zwane:”I don't think you can get a restraining order
for someone who isn't even here.”
Me:”What?”I asked dumbfounded.
Bab’Zwane:”My son isn't even in the country,he's in
Canada getting the best medical care for his respiratory
failure,so I don't understand how he's been harassing
you.”
Ok now I'm more confused than I was when I walked in
here.
Me:”Ok sir I get all that you're saying but…”I heaved a
sigh,it was taking everything in me to not break down
because nothing seemed to make sense now.
He had been busy showing me pictures of Africa lying on
a hospital bed with all these pipes connected to him
looking all frail and I couldn't stand the sight it was heart
breaking seeing him like that but most of all I didn't want
to feel like this,I didn't want to feel sorry for him but god
damnit I've never been the type to kick a man while he's
down.
Me:”I get all that you're saying and I do hope he gets well
but baba you came to me and asked me…in fact you
blackmailed me into breaking up with your son and I did
so,why can't he leave me alone?”I ask my voice coated in
frustration.
Bab’Zwane:”You really hurt him you know.”he can't be
serious!
Me:”I hurt him??What about the times he hurt
me,huh???He also hurt me you know and you don’t see
me going around making his life hard so please don't tell
me about “hurting” him,he cheated on me with his
flippin’ cousin!”I hissed.
Bab’Zwane:”And you cheated with a person who you
actually love.”unbelievable!
Me:”And so that gives him a right to harass me,make my
life a living hell?!”the volume in my voice rises as with my
temper.
Bab’Zwane:”I don't know how many times I've told you
this but my son can't possibly be on his deathbed and
also harassing you at the same time.”he looks at me like
I'm a paranoid person.
Me:”Okay Bab’Zwane thank you,for nothing.”I violently
push back the chair and take my stuff and storm out.
I hear him say good bye behind me but I don't give him a
second glance as I stomp all the way to the parking lot
but my feet came to a halt when my phone chimed in my
hand.
Incoming text.
“So you think a little piece of paper will keep me
away?You forget I am a whole advocate…mark my words
baby if I can't have you…no one else will”I think I squirted
a little pee.
I ran my eyes through text again and each time it was like
my sanity was slipping away from [Link]'s happening
here? I held my breath and looked behind me and
surprisingly Bab’Zwane was still seated where I had left
him inside the restaurant, looking right at me.I looked
away thinking that my eyes were deceiving me but when
I looked back again,indeed he was looking at me with a
smug look on his face,he then slowly waved back at me
while smiling.
I quickly looked away and changed my route and fast
walked to the next restaurant.
What the hell is going on here???How did Africa get the
news of the restraining order so fast???And isn't he on
his deathbed???Is Bab’Zwane playing tricks on me???
I sat in the restaurant with my eyes all over the place
trying to see if anyone was following me or looking at
me,all the while I had my phone in my ear willing Mr Dad
to please pick up his phone but it sent me straight to
voicemail and I just about cried.
I called Noma and Sbo and no one picked up so I just
called for a cab and also made a call to have my car
picked up.
The cab arrived after a short while and drove me home.
I got inside the house and my initial plan was to just go
lock myself up in my room and stay there till kingdom
come but Tiffany the fiancé had other plans as soon as I
got on the stairs she called after me.
Her:”Hey Pamella a minute please?”
Me:”Yeah?”
Her:”I just wanted to talk to you,I mean…we both live in
the same house but we hardly ever speak.I thought
maybe we can sit down and chat?”
Me:”As in now?”
Her:”That would be great,I just finished making chocolate
cupcakes we can have that and sit down and talk.”
Me:”I'm sorry Tiffany but maybe some other time?”
Her:”Oh okay,yeah sure.”
I turned and went up to my room and just lay on my bed
facing up,I haven't heard from Anthony today and I found
that odd.
I picked up my phone to call him but as soon as I swiped
open my phone I saw that I hadn't closed the message
which I assume is from Africa and I say assume because I
don't know what to freaking think anymore because the
guy who's allegedly doing this is supposedly halfway
around the world in intensive [Link] of it just sounds
like a figment of my imagination!
I tried calling him but like he had been doing for the past
days he didn't pick up my call,fucking coward!Hiding
behind text messages.
I heard Tiff calling for me downstairs and she caught me
at a bad time shame I was shaking with anger and so I
stormed downstairs asking her if she didn't hear me say I
couldn't sit down and have a chat with her,at least not
today and I regretted shouting at her the moment I
realized that she called me down to tell me that my car
had been delivered.
I mumbled an apology and went out to my car and got
the shock of my life when I looked [Link] of disbelief
I went to the front and around to the back of the car
reading the registration plates and indeed it was my car.
Me:”What the hell happened to my car?!”I asked the guy
who had delivered it.
Him:”This is how I found it ma’am.”
Me:”How you found it???What bullshit is that???What
did you do to my car damnit?!”
Him:”Ma’am I swear I didn't touch your car.”
Me:”You think I'm crazy?!I'M NOT CRAZY!THAT IS NOT
HOW I HAD LEFT MY CAR!I KNOW IT'S
NOT!...[Link]!YOU HEAR ME?!I'M NOT
CRAZY.”I'm not crazy,I kept saying so much so as to
convince myself that I actually was not crazy.
Him:”Ma’am please I don't know what happened to the
car.”he cried as my punches rained down on him.
“Pamella stop this!”Tiffany came running from the house
and held me back,I was shouting and trying to wriggle
myself from her hold but she had a strong grip.
While she held me back the driver took that as an
opportunity to flee the place.
Me:”Let me go!”I muttered under my breath as Tiff let go
of me.
I bolted up to my room and threw myself on the bed
screaming into my pillow.
After a while there was a knock at my door.
Me:”Go away.”
Anthony:”Babe it's me.”I jumped out of bed.
Me:”Anthony?”
Mr Dad:”MaMusa vula(open up).”
Me:”Dad?”
Mr Dad:”Yes my baby.”that “my baby” in that thick with
emotion tone was my undoing.
I started crying,I opened up the door and flew my hands
around my dad tearing up as I was telling him what
happened to me.
Mr Dad:”Slow down,breathe and then tell me what
happened?”he said wiping my tears.
Me:”It's Africa dad,it's all him.”
Anthony:”That bastard.”he said to himself but I caught it
and gave him a green look,he hadn't called me today.
Mr Dad:”What has that imbecile done?”my nose
twitched just thinking about it.
I wasn't really sure if it was him that did it but I wouldn't
put it past him because he is the cause for all for my
misery!
I told Dad how I received a text from Africa and also
about how someone had slit and slashed the seats in my
relatively new Jeep Wrangler.
It hasn't been that long since that car was gifted to me
and now some fool has mutilated my baby.
Mr Dad:”Thank God you weren't in the car when that
lunatic did that.”his relief was audible.
Anthony:”I don't think you're safe.”Dad nodded.
They AGREE on something?!That's a first.
Anthony:”Which is why you should move in with me.”Mr
Dad was taken back.
Mr Dad:”Excuse me,you think I can't keep my own
daughter safe?”
Anthony:”Not at all sir but I was just saying…”Mr Dad
shushed him.
Mr Dad:”You won't be taking her anywhere.”he said
firmly.
Okay I think I spoke too soon these two can never agree
on the same thing.
Anthony:”Baba(sir)I…”he started.
Me:”Gumede,I am safe here.”I said to let him down easy.
Anthony:”Okay and work,how are you going to get there
with the car all messed up?I can lend you one of mine.”
Me:”Oh I'll just use my other car.”
Anthony:”You mean HIS car?”
Me:”It's in MY name.”
Anthony:”Pamella come on.”
Mr Dad:”I should give you two some space.”he said and
Anthony nodded.
What is this unspoken mutual agreement between these
two?
Me:”It's just a car Anthony.”I said the minute Mr Dad
was out of sight.
Him:”You know it's not just A car Pamella but his,you're
not going to use that [Link]!”
Me:”No!”this sounded a lot louder than it did in my
head.
Him:”No?”he looked at me like I had grown feathers
where my eyelashes should have been.
Me:”No…yes…I mean I won't let Africa take anything
from me again,he's already gotten into my place and
invaded my privacy and has now allegedly messed with
my car so I have no other option but to use the other one
car I have,maybe he's expecting me to not use the car
because it's from him but he has another thing coming.”
Him:”Pamella this guy is drawing you closer to him and
you're playing right into his hand,are you that dumb to
not see this?”he asked a little irritated.
Did he just call me dumb?
Me:”It's just a car and how is that drawing me closer to
him?I'll only be using the car not getting into bed with
him.”
Him:”It's no use trying to make you see this guy for who
he is,which is how we got into this mess to begin
with.”why is he taking jabs at me like this?
Me:”Okay mister you are just about done with throwing
my past back at me,if I remember well enough I wouldn't
have ran into this guy had I not been running from
you…oh wait…HE RAN INTO ME!”I hiss.
Him:”Pamella you ran out of the restaurant and away
from me on your own because you didn't stop to ask me
what was going on and even when I called after [Link]
don't stop to think things through and now you've
brought this guy into all our lives and put not only your
life in danger but all of us and now there's my sex tape
out there in that lunatic’s hands!”
Me:”YOUR sex tape?!”
Him:”You know what I mean.”he said brushing me off.
Me:”No,no Gumede I don't know what you [Link] you
think I enjoy being harassed by this guy?So what are you
saying huh,that I brought this onto myself?”I couldn't
hide the disbelief in my voice.
Him:”You're twisting my words now MaMusa I didn't
mean it like that.”
Me:”Well please tell me what you meant.”I said in a
sarcastic tone and shook his head.
Him:”What I'm saying is don’t give into this guy but then
what I say won't matter because you'll do whatever you
want anyway MaMusa,so go ahead and take back your
ex,my bad your ex’s car back.”
Me:”And I will!”
Him:”I can't talk hold a conversation with you while
you're like this,I'll get going.”
Me:”You want to go?...alright go then..hamba
Anthony(go)…that's right go…”I kept saying behind him
as we walked down the stairs and he didn't give me the
time of day.
I opened the door wide for him to leave since he wanted
to go,he walked right along and when I was getting ready
to close the door he just kissed me on the forehead and
then without a word,turned to leave.I was so mad at
myself for liking the kiss I slammed the door harder than
necessary behind him.I think we've just had our first
major fight,but how can he blame me for all that's
happening?
That night I went to sleep and his voice wasn't the last
one I heard before I went to bed like [Link] didn't call
me,I didn't call him even the next day he didn't bother
and so I didn't bother although I was itching to call him.
Gitty was now my new mode of transportation and in
spite of her being fairly new she giving me problems
shem and because I have pride I didn't ask Mr Dad to
lend me his car and also I didn't want to burden him any
further because he was already making sure to have the
Jeep fixed.
I just couldn't understand what was wrong with my car
some mornings she wouldn't start and sometimes when I
had to leave work I'd take hours to get home this went
on for the 3 consecutive days that I was using the car.
I didn't think anything of it until Sam told me to take it to
a mechanic who will check what's wrong with [Link]
drove with him and left my car there and for the
following days he was my mode of transportation,he'd
pick me up in the morning and take me back home in the
evenings.
The first time he came to pick me up the family thought
it was a cab until Ma’Dlamini spotted who he was and
asked him to come inside the house to greet late as we
were,he came in and Mrs Mom was happy to see
him,speaking of Mrs Mom she's always coming around
the house now spending time with Tiff.
Mr Khuso called me back when he found what was
wrong with Gitty,he said it was there in plain
sight,someone had poured sugar into my car and I was
baffled and all emotional when he said should I had used
the car another day longer I would've caused or been in a
great accident and then Anthony's words hit me like
waves in succession “this guys is drawing you closer and
you're playing right into his hand…don't use his car.”
I developed a new fear for Africa seeing the extents he'd
go to,to hurt me.
I went home and cried myself into a state then I picked
up the phone and called Anthony who sent me straight
to voicemail,I just left a long and tear filled message after
the beep then tried calling him almost immediately after
and still he didn’t pick up.
Mr Khuso fixed Gitty up but even then I just didn't want
anything to do with that car,I did pay Mr Khuso for his
work but I didn't go back to pick the car up.
I shouldn't have gotten back to using that car to begin
with and Anthony had said this and now I understood
why and so now that I understood why I wanted to tell
him and maybe apologize but he just wouldn't return my
[Link] was just being childish!
Deciding that I've had enough of this silent treatment I
called for a cab and rocked up at his place.
I figured it's me he didn't want to speak to so when
we(me and the cab driver) rang the intercom and he
asked who it was I made the driver say he had a delivery
for him(Anthony)and then he let us in.
I paid the driver and thanked him as he got on his way
and then I proceeded towards the door.
I went up and knocked,I heard him say he's “coooming!”.
He didn't look surprised to see me at his door and didn't
sound like it either.
Him:”Oh it's you?”
Me:”It's me??That's all you're going to ask me?!”I pushed
him aside and made my way inside.
I threw my bag on the couch and we both stood in the
middle of the room,a few feet apart from each other.
I let my eyes linger on his upper body for a fraction of
second too [Link] is he shirtless???He's confusing me!
Me:”I tried calling you.”
Him:”I know”he said flatly.
Me:”So you're ignoring me?”I asked appalled.
Him:”I've been busy.”oh?
Me:”Busy?Busy Anthony?What could you be possibly be
SOOOOO BUSY with that you can't return my calls?”I
asked fuming.
Him:”Your lunatic ex.”
Me:”Oh so we're just going to put everything on him?”I
just about rolled my eyes,this “your ex” line is getting old
and boring .
Him:”Pamella you don't listen to me that's why I didn't
want to talk to you,I told you not to use that car and you
went against my word and almost got yourself killed.I
really don't appreciate people who don't listen.”his voice
wasn't raised but it felt like he was scolding me.
Me:”I'm sorry.”you couldn't misplace the remorse in my
voice,I was really sorry for not listening to him hle but he
wouldn't let me live.
Him:”It's no use being sorry Pamella you just keep
putting your life at risk,I just have to find this guy before
you help him get you killed.”
I noticed how he's calling me by name and not
Ma’Gumede or MaMusa or babe and that isn't very bae
of him!
Me:”Well Mr I.T specialist I hope you're fast enough
before I actually die.”
Him:”What?”
Me:”I mean you keep going on about what I'm doing
wrong and what I'm not doing right but you don't talk
about what you've not been able to do…you haven't
been able to track down Africa.”
Him:”It isn't easy.”
Me:”Oh how hard can it be to trace this guy?He's made
contact with me several times can't you just use that?”
Him:”He's covered his tracks carefully and it looks like
he's been contacting you via a burner phone.”
Me:”I think that we should hire someone else to track
him down then since you can't do it.”he's just useless.
Him:”We won't be doing any of that.”
Me:”Why?”I was confused,he doesn't know his job so
why don't we hire someone who does?
Him:”Pamella there's a unconsented sex tape of us out
there so we can't involve other people we don't want it
to land on the wrong hands.”
Me:”That's it??That's all you care about??The flippin’ sex
tape?Well worry not buddy because news flash people
don't watch porn for the guy!”
Him:”Still it doesn't mean that it should be put out there
for everyone to see.”
Me:”This is just so frustrating!”I wanted to cry this was
slowly but surely taking a toll on me.
Him:”I understand how you feel.”I know what he meant
but this rang different in my ears,my emotions were
spiralling.
Me:”You understand how I feel?!You don't understand
anything!YOU'RE NOT THE ONE HE'S HARASSING AND
TORTURING IT'S ME OKAY?ME!”I jerked as a gut
wrenching sob tore through me.
He held me as I cried and I tried fighting him off but it
was a losing battle.
Him:”Pamella look at me,Pamella…”
Me:”Can you please stop calling me Pamella?I am
MaMusa to you or babe or beautiful.”he almost laughed
at me but stopped himself.
Him:”You're crazy.”
Me:”I feel like I am also.”I said my lips quivering as I
wanted to cry yet again.
Him:”Hey hey hey,babe don't [Link]'ll get through this.”
Me:”Thank you babe...for everything.”
Him:”I'll do anything for you,but there is one thing I
won't do though and that is let you talk to me
[Link] won't ever talk to me like that,you don't
shout nor lay a hand on me.I'm a man Pamella you don't
raise your voice with me,and as much as I am a man and
want respect I am YOUR man so you have to understand
that it's you and me vs the problem not you vs me.”I just
nodded vigorously because I didn't trust my mouth,those
are beautiful words.
Me:”I'm sorry.”
Him:”It's okay babe.”
He pulled me to his chest and enveloped me in a warm
hug,we stood there in a peaceful silence but the fine
specimen couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
Him:”You look horrible.”he said and held me in place as I
tried hitting him.
He wasn't lying though I look frightful with my hair
scruffy and uncombed and my clothes just pulled onto
my body and uncoordinated but he is all to blame
because I left in a hurry to see him.
Me:”Heeeey I hadn't been getting much sleep because
YOU were ignoring me.”I punched him on his arm.
Him:”I'm sorry baby,should I run you your boiling
water?”I smiled he's such an idiot.
Me:”Yeah I could use a hot shower right now.”
Him:”Okay boiling water coming right up.”he said
punching the air,such a character!
Me:”And a tall glass of wine.”
Him:”Non-alcoholic?”this didn't sound like a question at
all.
I just rolled my eyes and scoffed and he took that as a
yes.
Him:”Okay a hot bath and a tall glass of NON-ALCOHOLIC
wine it is!”I just broke out laughing.
Me:”You're a fool.”
Him:”I'm your fool.”he said looking down at me and I
smiled looking up at him.
Me:”Yeah…you're right about that.”
Him:”So does that make me Mr Right?”he asked brow
raised.
I just shook my head with a sheepish smile on my face
,you know what I'm done with this beautiful fool I just
can't.
Him:”Hey I am Mr Right,right?”he said panic in his eyes.
Me:”Wrong.”
Him:”What?”
Me:”You heard me.”I said freeing myself from him and
attempted to run away.
Him:”Hey come here,where are you going?”
Me:”Shower!”I shouted behind me as I made my way to
the bathroom.
He ran and caught up with me as I was trying to lock the
door and he pushed me into the shower and opened cold
water on me.I pulled him inside with me and let out the
“boiling” water and the way he screamed!!!
I laughed at him so hard that I ran out of breath but my
Mr Right was right there to give me CPR if you know
what I [Link] helped each other strip off our clothes
and then we took a shower and it was loooooong and
hot as I had requested.
So it turns out that my man here had also missed me and
he spent the whole day showing me just how
much,under and on top of me and we even found new
corners in the house we didn't know existed.
I spent the night at his place and Mr Dad called to ask
where I was and if I was safe because Tiff said I left the
house “in a state” that one must just learn to shut her
mouth and so I assured him that I was A okay and only
then did he hang [Link] he called I also got a call from
Ma’Gumede asking that we have lunch the next day and I
agreed because she wasn't really asking me she told me
to be there.
With the little next to nothing sleep I got last night
because of Gumede and his member down south,by
unseen superpowers I was able to get out of bed,take a
shower and dress up to go see his mom.
He didn't want me to take a cab so he gave me his car so
I drove to the restaurant.
Ma’Gumede:”Oh dear forgive me for keeping you
waiting.”she said as she came in and I got up to hug her.
Me:”It's okay mah I just got here.”
Ma’Gumede:”I would've been here eons ego had it not
been for that hot Gumede moron he just couldn't…”she
trailed off and then paused and looked at me,I mean
really look at me such that I started feeling
uncomfortable.
Me:”Mah what's wrong?”
Ma’Gumede:”You.”
Me:”Me?”I asked starting to panic and feeling myself to
feel for anything wrong because the way she's looking at
me you'd swear I've grown a horn.
Ma’Gumede:”Yes,your skin…it's got this radiant
glow.”whew!
Me:”Oh.”I said and flushed.
Ma’Gumede:”I know that smile,my son is giving to you
good isn't he?”my eyes widened.
Me:”Mah!”I said in a low tone as if to hush what she had
just said but she just came back stronger.
Ma’Gumede:”Oh honey there's no need to be ashamed
of these things plus he's a fruit of my womb not to
mention his father's seed so I know my son.”Jesus this
woman.
Me:”Mah…oh God.”I said covering my face with my
hands and she laughed at me and we both cracked up
together.
Ma’Gumede:”Speaking of knowing my son I know him
well enough to see when he's not okay,he hasn't been
himself for a [Link] said the both of you aren't
talking?”
Me:”Oh we already fixed that.”
Ma’Gumede:”And I know how”she winked at me.
Me:”God Mah”I said in a tone that jokingly said stop.
Again we doubled over in laughter and then she got all
serious.
Ma’Gumede:”Okay makoti spill,what really had you not
talking to each other?”
Why didn't her son tell her?
Ma’Gumede:”Oh I tried to get it out of him but that
stubborn Gumede head just wouldn't budge,he just
brushed me off.”oh so I'm option 2,this woman will be
the death of me!
Me:”Well it started with my ex…”
Ma’Gumede:”Are you two timing my son with your
ex?”she said cutting me off.
Me:”What?No,never.I love your son,I'd never do that to
him.”she nodded and smiled.
Ma’Gumede:”Good answer.”
Wait was this a test or something?
The waiter came and gave us our drinks.
Ma’Gumede:”Ok now tell me about your ex.”she asked in
a bored tone taking a sip of her drink.
Mind you it was a glass of wine that her son doesn't want
me drinking!I just smiled and shook my head at the
thought.
Me:”Well ingane kaBab’Zwane angazi noma uyamazi
yin(it's Mr Zwane’s son I don't know if you know him)?”I
looked at her for confirmation.
She nodded yes and only then did I continue.
Me:”Okay so everyone knew about me and him,I met
him after my accident but then things weren't great
between us and so I broke things off with him some time
ago and I did not break up with him just to be with
Anthony but I just didn’t love him so we broke things off
and he didn't take it well…he's been harassing me.”
Ma’Gumede:”He's been harassing you how?”
Me:”Well he broke into my apartment and invaded my
private space and I believe he messed with my car and
tried to kill me and he's been sending things to me and
my office.”
Ma’Gumede:”Why didn't anyone tell me this??Why
didn't Anthony tell me this?”
Me:”Well mah the reason why your son hasn't told you
anything is because…and I'm telling you this because I
trust you…Anthony doesn't want anyone to know
because this guy has a sex tape of us,me and
Anthony.”her eyes widened,maybe I shouldn't have said
anything.
Ma’Gumede:”You guys made a sex tape?Whoah.”
Me:”We didn't make it on purpose as I told you this guy
went into my apartment and had a camera installed in
my room so the tape was made without our knowledge.I
only knew about it when he sent it to me.”
Ma’Gumede:”That child is sick.”
Me:”You don't know the half of it Mah he edited the
tape and put his face instead of Anthony and he has the
nerve to say that if he can't have me then no one else
will.”
Ma’Gumede:”He's crazy you're my daughter in law and
no one else’s.I must have a chat with this guy.”
Me:”No mah you can't do that!”this sounded louder than
it did inside my head.
Ma’Gumede:”Why?”because he is a psychopath and one
wrong move he'll do away with us,I don't say this out
loud.
Me:”Well for one we can't track him and two Anthony
will be mad if he finds out I told you and really I don't
want to upset him.”I'm literally begging her not tell him.
Ma’Gumede”That's cute but honey you said it yourself
you guys can't find this psychopath so clearly you need
help and I get that we have to stroke our men's egos and
let men “be men” but Anthony has to understand this
isn't just about him,really it's not because when he
decided to get with you he involuntarily gave up the I’s
and my and him for us and we,this is a partnership and
you've done your part for coming to seek help from me.
I'll see how me and Mzwakhe can help find this guy.”
Me:”To be honest mah I just want all this to come to an
end actually I'd give anything to put an end to it all so me
and Anthony can focus on us without worrying about so
much,he's really stressed and I didn't see at first but he's
fighting so much to not have that tape put out because
he's trying to protect me I know I'd be shattered if it ever
got out.”I went on and was met by silence and when I
paused Ma’Gumede was just looking at me smiling.
Ma’Gumede:”I like you,Anthony did good with you and
not these hags he'd bring around.”I almost choked on my
drink.
Me:”He brings other girls around?”I swear this sounded
less dumb when I said it just to myself.
Ma’Gumede:”No I didn't mean it that way honey,he used
to bring these questionable creatures around but there's
one that stood out…Pearl.”she snickered.
Me:”Black mambazo?”the words slip out my mouth
before I could stop [Link]’Gumede just chuckles
lightly.
Ma’Gumede:”Who?”
Me:”The black pearl?”she shook her head.
Ma’Gumede:”No the one you said before that.”
Me:”Oh black mambazo.”I said in a low tone my this is
embarrassing.
She just broke out laughing.
Ma’Gumede:”Whoah that's a good one,you're the best
daughter-in-law.”she threw her head back with her
shoulders shaking as she laughed.
I laughed top this woman is such a big ball of energy.
Out of the blue my phone just rang and when I saw the
caller I.D I flushed crimson red.
Me:”Your son is calling.”I said picking up the phone and
she snatched it away from me.
Ma’Gumede:”Give me that.”
She answered the call and told her son that I couldn't
come to the phone because I was preoccupied and asked
him to not call again and then hung up.
Ma’Gumede:”There he'll have to wait,it's OUR time
now.”she gave me back my phone and raised up her
glass.
I raised up mine also and we clicked glasses but not
before I could take a peek at Anthony's incoming text
that read,
“Babe why is mom answering your phone and where did
you two go?”and in the words of my mother-in-law he'd
have to wait.
We had fun with Ma’Gumede it was really great being
with her,she went on a shopping spree and before we
knew it both the Gumede men were on our tails and flat
out told us “no more you're both going home,now!” and
we both resisted until they gave and only then did we
decided to leave.
I said goodbye to Ma’Gumede and went to the car I had
drove here with but now Anthony was the one driving
and I think he was mad at me because he kept smacking
my hand off each time I tried to touch him while he was
driving and I would just laugh at him.
Seeing that he was seriously not paying attention to me I
spread my legs wide and started digging at the itch he
refused to scratch and I think I saw him sweat and clench
his jaws.
He then just pressed on the gas and flew us [Link]
drove into the garage and didn't even wait for the engine
to die down he got out from his side and came to mine
and snatched me off the seat and placed me on the car's
bonnet while he undid his pants and then took me on top
of the car.
He said that,that was the first time we ever fucked and I
agree and to be honest I'd rather we fuck everyday
because that roughness!Overall my man makes the pots
shem!
He jokingly told me that me and his mom shouldn't hang
out anymore and when I asked why he said because me
and his mom are a destructive duo and when I told
Ma’Gumede we laughed at that.
Time passed and things seemed to have gone back to
normal,I was living between my home and Anthony's
house and I haven't gone back to the apartment,I
actually don't know what to do with the place because I
had already paid the whole year's rent.
I dragged my feet as I walked over to the fridge to get
some water I was actually sulking because today was the
28th of February and I wouldn't have a birthday
tomorrow and the people around me were going about
their business like nothing was wrong.
My phone was so dry no phone calls no texts nothing
even from Anthony I swear that guy is begging me to
punch him in the face.
I let my braids hang loose and I sat in front of the t.v. half
watching it.
I had had enough of this so I took my phone and called
the specimen.
Him:”Hey babe I can't talk right now I'm driving.”those
are the first words that come out his [Link] the
hell happened to the Bluetooth speakerphone?
Me:”I was just calling to ask what time you'll be getting
off at work today?”
Him:”I don't know exactly but I just know I'll get off
pretty late.”
Me:”Oh okay.”
Him:”Yeah babe let me call you back.”he said and hung
[Link].
I just retired to my room and fired up my laptop to watch
a movie and while I was doing that my laptop blinked
indicating an incoming skype call.I was bored so I just
accepted the call and almost fell of the bed when I saw
who it was.
Him:”Shortbread.”his lips cracked as he said that.
Me:”H-hey hi.”
Him:”Don't hang up there's something I need to say
something to you.”
Me:”Oh?”I said as I swallowed hard.
Him:”How are you?”
Me:”I'm good…and you?”
Him:”Not good listen Pamella I'm sorry,I haven't been
good to you.”he said and started coughing.
Oh so now that he is dying he wants to apologize?Is it
wrong of me to wish death upon him vele?
Him:”I apologize for every single thing and you can rest
assured that you won't hear from me again because as
you also don't get to have a birthday this year I also don't
have long to live.I love you and want to see you happy.”
Me:”Thanks.”
Him:”Take care shortbread,I love you.”
He didn't give me a chance to say anything else back not
like I had much to say to begin with but this guy just
makes my skin crawl.
He tried to kill me and now he would spare me why?No
this sounds like a trap this guy had straight out told me
that if he couldn't have me no one could so who's to say
he won't try to take me to hell with him or wherever it is
he'd go once he dies?
I started panicking since I was all alone in the house so I
just grabbed my purse and went straight to the car.I
drove over to Anthony's and let myself in since now I
have a key.I got there and locked every single door and
window and then I fell asleep on the couch.
When I woke up it was dark and the man of the house
was still not around and I tried calling him but he didn't
pick up.
I didn't even begin to cook I just ordered in and after
eating slipped into my pyjamas and went to bed
heartbroken.
Some time into my sleep I felt someone shaking me and
when I put on the side lamp I heard people scream
“SURPRISE!!!”and at first it didn't register but then I
caught up with them.
“Happy make-believe birthday”everyone screamed and I
looked around the room and everyone was here and in
their pyjamas.
My eyes fell on my man next to me and I just broke out in
tears,he let me sleep alone!
Everyone just went “aww” and I was glad for every single
person in that room because they always make me feel
special.
Him:”Happy make-believe birthday baby.”I smiled.
Me:”Thanks my love.”
Him:”I love you MaMusa.”
Me:”I love you too Gumede.”I said and we kissed and
everyone went “oooh” drama!
Chapter 18
So ol’girl has turned 25 and making the pots happen!I've
got licensure and can start practicing and writing those
invoices and cashing checks!Life was just amazing and
speaking of an amazing life,
Life with Anthony was amazing but life without Africa
was doubly amazing because it meant that I didn't have
to constantly look behind my shoulder and I didn't live in
fear I was even considering going back to my apartment
but Anthony and Mr Dad slapped the idea down so hard I
didn't even have a comeback.I still don't know what's this
mutual agreement between these and I won't try to
figure it out so moving right along!
As I was telling you I am now a qualified clinical
psychologist and have just bagged my first ever paying
patient which I am on my way to meet as we speak yet I
am still in the car eating sticky ribs as Anthony is
driving,didn't I say that the man is [Link] amanga
ami(where is the lie?).
He stopped in the parking of a very tall building where I
have rented an office for a while till Mr Dad can find me
something but what I really want is to be that cool doctor
that meets people in the comfort of their homes or any
other space where they'll be free to talk and possibly
even take walks or go on jogs with them,whatever it
takes for them to open up their chests and their wallets!
Me:”Thanks baby.”I said undoing my seatbelt and he
stopped me.
Him:”Wait,you have something.”I mouthed oh and tried
to wipe it with a serviette.
He said “no let me do it for you” and the next thing I
knew his tongue was down my throat and I wondered
what could I possibly have inside my mouth.
Him:”There,all gone.”he pulled back leaving me short of
breath.
Me:”Baby?”
Him:”Hhmn?.”he said not looking at me.
Me:”Babe.”I said more firmly so he can look at me.
Him:”What?”he asked his face twitching with a smile.
Me:”I didn't have anything did I?”I asked giving him a
squinted side eye.
He gave me a goofy smile and I smiled too.
Me:”You're so sneaky!.”
Him:”And you know me so well.”
Me:”That's because I'm your other half,remember?”I
dragged the last part.
Him:”You're not half you're the whole thing and more.”I
flushed.
Me:”I love you.”
Him:”I love you too babe.”he gave me a soft peck.
I got off the car and he handed me my bags.
Him:”You go and psycho-analyse people like the badass
psychologist you are.”
Me:”Thanks baby and you go and hack people or
something.”I said teasing him and bit my tongue to stop
from laughing.
Him:”I do not hack people”he whined,my man baby.
We always argue that people who do I.T are hackers and
he always disputes that,I know he doesn't but I just say it
to get under his skin.
Me:”I know my love,bye.”he said bye and I stepped away
from the car watching him drive away before strutting
towards the entrance.
I walked inside the building and took the elevator going
up,I am paying a very healthy amount of money for this
top floor and city view office I just like the serene
atmosphere of it all.
“Dr Musa?.”some guy said as he stood up to greet me.
I figure he is my patient.
Me:”Oh you're already here?”
Him:”I'm early I hope you don't mind,they said I could
come up here.”
I don't know who “they” is and that reminds me that I
need to get an assistant to help with booking patient
sessions and everything.
Me:”It's okay,you can take a seat mr…?”I looked to him
to tell me his last name.
Him:”Mr Mthembu,Sazi Mthembu.”
Me:”Okay Mr Mthembu please take a seat so we can
start.”
Him:”My wife is a few minutes late I'm sure she'll be here
any second.”
Me:”Your wife?”I asked dumbfounded.
Him:”Yes but don't worry she should be here soon.”
Me:”Sir it seems there has been a misunderstanding I am
not a marriage counsellor.”
Him:”I know.”I just huffed in exasperation.
Ok I think it's time I were honest with you I have not
been making the pots to happen alone Mr Dad helped
here and there in fact he's the one that got me this
patient and now I have a couple on my stoop while I'm
not even a marriage counsellor!
Remind me to not trust Mr Dad with booking patients
again,this is just the more reason why I should get an
assistant.
Me:”Then why did you make the appointment?”it
doesn't make sense.
Him:”It's just that…we've been to many psychologists
before you…”
Me:”That will explain why the wife is here.”I muttered
under my breath.
Him:”What?”
Me:”What?”I asked my eyes widened.
I did not just say that out loud!
Him:”Oh as I was saying we've been to a couple other
psychologists and like you they came highly
recommended but with you I figured we'd get a fresh
perspective since you're just starting out.”I don't know if
I should take this as a compliment or insult because he's
just said I'm “just starting out” which my brain decoded
as “you're inexperienced” but also he said “fresh
perspective” which means I am good and new energy!
Hey maybe I should put that on my ad “fresh out of
university with a new perspective!”.
Me:”Would you like something to drink while we wait for
your wife?Tea,juice,coffee or water?”
Him:”Juice please.”
I was hoping he'd say water because this juice will be
coming right out of my pocket.
I went out and got him his juice and then came back up
to my office.
I took my seat behind the laptop and started working on
finding an assistant while we waited for the wife to
arrive.
A chunk of time passed with the husband busy trying to
get a hold of his wife on the phone with no success,I
don't need to talk to this couple to tell that their
marriage is troubled even a blind person can see.
Me:”She's not coming is she?”
Him:”Uhmm seems that way,maybe she got caught up
somewhere.”I felt sorry for him he looked so
disappointed.
Me:”Our time is almost up but don't worry you won't
have to pay for this session.”
Him:”No,time is money and I've wasted yours so I'll pay.”
Me:”Okay should I book another appointment for
you?”don't give me that look I'm trying to make money
here.
Him:”Sure we'd like to see you twice a week.”
Me:”Great thanks for coming in Mr Mthembu do call
again”
Him:”Thank you Dr Musa.”I nodded and held the door for
him as he walked out.
After a while I got a notification that he just made a
deposit into my account and it was a little bit more than
what we agreed on but I think he was making up for his
wife not being there and the juice I bought him that he
didn't drink either I'm a happy doctor right now and
happy doctor means happy patients!
The rest of the day was smooth sailing and the minute I
knocked off Anthony was right there to pick me up.
Me:”Hey baby,you are rather prompt.”I said the minute I
got inside the car and kissed him on his cheek.
Him:”I just didn't want you standing out here.”he said
with a coolness I couldn't place.
Me:”Oh are you okay babe?.”I didn't know what else to
say.
Him:”Yeah.”He also didn't say anything else he just
started the car and took off.
There was a sickening silence in the car I was frying my
brains trying to figure out what happened I mean we
were fine in the morning and now he's all closed off.
He was just speeding and would impatiently put his foot
on the gas when we had to stop at a traffic light.
Me:”Baby you're going too fast.”I had had enough.
He didn't seem to hear me.
Me:”Anthony!”
Him:”What?”he looked genuinely confused,he's worrying
me.
Me:”You're driving too fast babe.”I said in a low tone.
He looked like he had been brought out of a trance and
remembered something,he mouthed “oh” and slowed
down and stopped on the side of the road.
He killed the engine and heaved a sigh as he threw his
head back on the seat.
Me:”Usure uright sthandwa sam (are you sure you're
okay my love)?”
Him:”I'm okay.”he replied with no conviction,I didn't
believe him and I was about to tell him that much.
Me:”Gumede you were driving over the limit which
could've killed us,what's the rush vele(exactly)?”
Him:”Ngyaxolisa MaMusa ikhanda lami liphithene
(forgive me darling,my head's all over the place).”
Me:”What is it babe?”
Side note I don't appreciate that he had whatever it is
that put him off and he came and took it out on me being
cold and everything without even telling me what's
bothering him,I won't voice that right now I need to find
out why my baby looks so troubled.
Him:”It's my mom.”
Me:”Unani uMa’Gumede (what's wrong with
Ma’Gumede)?”
Him:”I don't know I just call from Antonella telling me to
come back home when I was on my way to pick you up.”
Me:”You could've just went straight home babe I
would've caught a taxi home.”
Him:”I was already on my way plus I wanted to make
sure you're safe.”
He still thinks Africa is out there to get me.
Me:”I am safe darling.”
Him:”Pamella we're not about to argue about this,I will
take you to and from work.”I know he's really ticked off
when he calls me by my name but I don't understand
why he's mad though he needs to be with his mom.
He apologized again and said we should get going and
started the car.
Me:”Do you want me to come with?”he was about to
drop me off back at his house.
Him:”No babe I'm sure you're tired,I'll be with you in a
few.”
I really hope there's nothing wrong with
Ma’Gumede,Anthony looks so worried.
Me:”Okay babe send my love to your mom.”I kissed him
and stepped back as he drove off.
I went inside the house and kicked off my shoes and sat
on the couch till I gathered up will power to go take a
shower and make something to eat while waiting on the
man of the house.
And that's all I did,I waited even though I had the urge to
call and ask what's going on I just asked myself to give
him time with his family and that he'll get back to me
when he can.
I went to bed with him still not being back so I decided to
work to keep myself up,I was still looking for that
assistant.
Me:”Heeey I was still busy with that.”I whined when he
took away my laptop and put it aside.
Him:”Hey baby.”he said getting on top of me.
Does your man ever lay directly on top of you and you're
low-key dying but he's so cuddly and content so you
suffer in peace??Yeah same,he just feels so cuddly and in
a better mood then he was earlier.
Me:”When did you get in?”
Him:”I just got back.”
Me:”And how is mom?”
Him:”She's okay.”
Me:”What was wrong with her?”
Him:”She was just feeling week.”
Me:”Oh I should go see her.”
Him:”Not right now babe,she needs to rest.”who died
and made him a doctor?
Me:”Okay.”
Him:”So what were you busy with?”he asked changing
the subject I just about rolled my eyes.
Me:”I was looking for an assistant.”
Him:”Oh you should ask Antonella to help you with that.”
I scoffed.
Him:”What?”he asked with his signature slight smirk.
Me:”You know me and your sister don't get along.”
Him:”She's good at this babe,she's a recruiter she can get
you someone like that.”he said snapping his finger.
Me:”No thank you.”I said folding my arms.
Him:”I'm sure she'd be happy to help.”
Me:”Anthony no.”he just laughed at me.
Him:”Ok ok,speaking of happy helpers did you get to help
your client today?”
Me:”It's patient baby not client and me and him didn't
get much done today.”
Him:”It's a he?”he got up from me.
Me:”Don't worry he's married.”I think I saw him [Link]
dramatic.
Him:”He's married?”
Me:”Weird I know your father-in-law got me the wrong
patient but that isn't the weird part,his wife didn't show
up imagine and didn't even pick up his calls when he rang
her.”
Him:”Trouble in paradise.”
Me:”Exactly what I thought but that's why they'd be
there to see me in the first place baby.”
Him:”What's this guy's name?”
Me:”No baby I can't tell you that it's confidential…do you
want me to make you something to eat?”
Him:”No I already at home but what I do want to do is
get in YOUR privacy.”he said as his hand trailed down
south.
He is so silly.
And true to his word he was all up in my “privacy”
thrusting in and out like owned the place.
He blew my back out and put me to a sound sleep.
But my day wasn't all sound because the fine specimen
went against my wishes and called his sister to help me
find an assistant.
I still don't understand how these two are twins better
yet how they're even related because Anthony is such a
great guy while his sister on the other hand is a total
bitch.
Her:”I'm only doing this for my brother just so you
know.”those were the first words she said when she took
her seat across from me.
Me:”Sawubona(hello) Antonella and trust me I know all
there is to know.”
Her:”I don't like you.”
Me:”I don't too and fortunately for me I don't have to.”
Her:”I don't even know why I'm here.”
Me:”Then by all means Antonella leave.”no she must just
go I won't take her attitude just because I'm dating her
brother.
Her:”That would be my pleasure.”she said standing up
but stopped to take her phone out the bag when it rang.
It was a call about Ma’Gumede and for the first time I
think I saw a more genuine and vulnerable side to her
rather than this tough front she puts up.
She dropped the called and without as much as giving me
a second glance she walked out.
With time the calls about Ma’Gumede got more frequent
and had me worried but of course I couldn't go see her
because Dr Anthony Bae said she only needs to be with
family and to rest so I just prayed for her on the side-
lines.
Something in his eyes had changed though that shine
they had was now masked by an uncertainty and fear.
He was scared and if only he could just talk to me!I got
tired of asking and also tired of being left all alone in HIS
house that I suggested that I move back home because
he's hardly ever home but he begged me to not go and as
he held my hand I saw that fear dance in his eyes that my
heart ached.
Of course I didn’t leave-leave I just said that to ruffle his
feathers and I was also hoping he'd open up to me you
know but the opposite happened.
He spent more days at his parent's house and sometimes
didn't even bother to tell me if he wasn't coming back to
the house.
So I also found things to do like getting that assistant and
also spending time with my loved ones.
I've gone out with King which I hadn't done in a long time
I enjoyed myself to such an extent that I thought maybe
time apart from Anthony is actually what I needed, I
instantly panicked and tried to call and check up on him
and I say tried because I didn't get through.
I continued riding solo in between looking for a job yes
you heard right looking for a job because as much as I
like practicing on my own I need a steady check since I'm
still starting out and getting private patients is taking
rather long.
When I wasn't working I was spending time with my girls
like how I'm doing right now.
Me:”Looks like your daughter can't wait to come
out.”we've had two false alarms this month and she's
due in the next,we're having a May baby.
Anele:”It is I that cannot wait for her grand exit.”she said
in an English accent and we just laughed this girl is crazy.
We were at the hospital because for the second time
now we thought the baby was coming and mommy here
is a little frustrated by this.
Anele:”I just don't understand why she can't come
out.”she started sniffing.
Oh no no not the tears!
Anele:”Look at me,I'm an emotional mess.”
Me:”A hot mess that is.”
She is so huge now but at her most beautiful truly but
she doesn't see it that [Link] has also been coming
through for her but all’s not forgotten.
Nonz:”Want to get some ice cream?”
Anele:”No Nonz I don't want ice cream I just want this
baby out of me and soon.”
Ok she's full on raging today.
Me:”A couple more days honey and then I'll take over
from there.”
Anele:”You're late I'm going back home my grandma said
I should move back.”
She cries really hard this [Link] to talk down on
pregnant women or anything but yoh I'm not sure I'd be
able to do this. I do not want to not have control over my
emotions like this.
Nonz:”That's okay we'll come visit every weekend right
Pamella?”
Me:”Yes of course.”
She looks at me like she's isn't convinced.
“Yes we will.”we say in unison.
Anele smiled and wiped off her tears.
Anele:”Okay I think I want that ice cream now.”we just
giggled,little did she know that we weren't taking to get
no ice cream.
We walked out the hospital and got inside Anthony's car
which is the only thing of his I have with me besides his
house keys because of late I don't have his heart,his
word or even his heart not that I'm being selfish I know
he needs to be with his family but I just feel like I'm not a
priority to him.
We drove around until we got to our destination where
me and Nonz are hosting Anele’s baby shower.
It was at a lodge we were going to spend the whole
weekend there as ladies and pamper the soon mother to
be.
When she asked why we were stopping here instead of
an ice cream shop I told her I was meeting a patient here
and she began throwing a fit and pouting her lips I just
about [Link] had walked in ahead of us to get
keys to our rooms and everything such that all was in
place when I walked in with Anele and on cue everyone
jumped out and screamed SURPRISE!And you can bet
that was met by tears from her but they were tears of
joy.
After she had calmed down the shower began,I went
over to hug Kwanda who flew in all the way from the
cape and also Nelly my P.A who helped put this
altogether she is very efficient shame.
Not long after we had began to have our fun and
unwrapping gifts did my phone ring and it was my long
lost boyfriend.
Me:”Hello?”
My hello is met by a silence.
Me:”Hello,Anthony?”
Still no answer I took my phone from my ear and looked
at the screen to check if the call hadn't been dropped or
what and it wasn't so why was he all mute?
Me:”Anthony what's wrong?”I started panicking,I could
hear him breathing.
Him:”It's mom.”he says dryly.
Me:”Mom?Ma’Gumede,what's wrong with her?”
Him:”She's…she's at the hospital.”he trailed off sounding
wounded.
Me:”Oh my God baby are you okay?”what am I asking.
Him:”Can you…can you come here?”he wasn't asking,he
was pleading.
Me:”Uhmn..okay…okay give me an hour.”I said already
plotting how I was going to tell the girl's that I'm leaving
when we've literally just got here.
Him:”See you in 5.”
Me:”Okay I love you.”he just hung up on me.
I was torn between two things staying here for the baby
shower or going to the hospital but I've already told him
I'll come.
I called Nonz and Anele to the side to explain to them.
Me:”There's no better way to say this but I have to leave
babies.”
Nonz:”Why what's wrong?”
Me:”It's Anthony's mom she’s in hospital and things
aren't looking good.”don't give me that look!I know
Anthony didn't say anything but I had to say it for
dramatic effect.
Anele:”Oh it's okay babe you can go,and thank you so
much for this by the way.”she pulled me in for a hug,I
told her it's my pleasure and that I really have to go.
Nonz:”I hope Mrs G gets better soon.”she also hugged
me.
I said good bye to everyone and got on the road and I
guess I wasn't fast enough because as I was driving to the
hospital Anthony told me to en route to his house
instead,he sounded mad and I wanted to explain to him
that I was driving from a party but he hung up on me.
I drove up to his house and when I got there Sandiso let
me in and he looks like a child that's gotten his favourite
toy taken away from him and I realize that this is deeper
than I thought.
I make my way inside and greet their father who doesn't
even turn to see who it is.
I have to walk on eggshells here because it seems
everyone is super sensitive.
I walk up to Anthony's room and knock once before
letting myself in.
He is seated on the edge of the bed with his head
hanging oh my.
I walk more inside the room until I am in front of him
then I get on my knees before him.
Me:”Babe?”I manoeuvre through the lump in my throat.
He doesn't say anything just lifts his eyes up to see mine
and it's like at first he doesn't believe that I'm here that I
have to tell him.
Me:”It's me baby,I'm here.”I say getting up and taking his
hands in mine.
He grabs hold of me and gives me a tight hug I can
almost feel his nails digging into my skin and I try to free
myself from his grip but he holds me in place.
We stay like that for a while but his silence bothers me.
Me:”Talk to me baby.”
Him:”I'm losing her.”he finally says.
While I was still appreciating the fact that he was
opening up he just opened his waterworks on me and
kept saying he's losing her and I just held him and let him
cry while I bit back my own tears.
I rubbed his back while cried silently and by the time he
was done my top was drenched in his tears.
Me:”You think you're ready to talk now?”I asked rubbing
his head.
He nodded.
Me:”Okay baby tell me what happened.”
Him:”We're losing her that's what.”he said and bit his lip
and not in the sexy seductive way but in the I'm trying to
stop from crying way.
I had to put my brave face on.
Me:”No you don't talk like [Link] the time that I have
known Mrs Gumede she's shown to be a very strong
[Link] when you told me how she found out
that she was sick and gone through it alone without you
guys suspecting a thing?...”
Him:”Which is what got us all here!”he hissed getting all
worked up.
Me:”Anthony please that isn't the point all I'm trying to
say is she secretly fought this because she is a strong
person we don't know how many other battles she's
secretly fought and won so let's not give up on her,rather
we pray.”
He just looked at me and smiled.
Him:”I love you.”I hadn't heard that in a while and it felt
good.
Me:”I love you too baby,now how about we get you
something to eat so you can be strong for Ma’Gumede?”I
didn’t give him a chance to answer plus it was a
rhetorical question I won't let him starve himself.
I went down and prepared a quick meal and had the kind
house help assist with setting up the table which was a
waste of time because no one actually sat at the table to
eat some took their food to their rooms while others said
they weren't hungry everyone was just confined in their
own fears.
Nonetheless me and Anthony ate at the table then I got
up to do the dishes.
Him:”Let's go to bed.”he says leaning on the door to the
kitchen.
Me:”Let me finish up here first my love,I'll join you now.”
He left and I quickly put away the dishes and went up to
his [Link] I get there he is sleeping on his back
facing up looking into space,he doesn't even move when
I slip in beside him.
I snack my arms around him and lay my head on his
chest,he sighs and kisses the top of my head and I fall
asleep almost instantly.
In the middle of the night there is a rather loud
consistent knock at the door and when I think maybe
Anthony will get it,he doesn't.
I look beside him and he is sound asleep but with lines on
his forehead like something's troubling him.
I don't wake him up I just get up and answer the door.I
am met by his father looking like a lost [Link] asks that I
wake Anthony up as they need to get to the hospital
because his mother's health is deteriorating at an
alarming rate.
I wake him up but don't tell him the terrifying stuff just
that they need to go down to the hospital.
The whole house is up and Anthony orders me to call his
sister and I try her several times but she doesn't pick up.
Him:”She's calling for you.”he says almost in a whisper.
I've been seated outside her room ever since we got here
and to keep myself I've been trying to call his twin.
I shake my head but looks at me like everything depends
on me seeing his mom so I agree.
I stepped inside the room and all eyes shift to me but my
eyes bulge when I see Mrs Gumede bald headed and
looking weak but her eyes still had that twinkle.
She smiled widely at me and asked me to come be by her
side.
Ma’Gumede:”My dear.”she said in her sweet but now
raspy voice.
Me:”Yes ma’am.”
Ma’Gumede:”Where is my other daughter?”Shucks!
Me:”She'll get here Mah.”
Oh Antonella where are you?!
Ma’Gumede:”My son is blessed to have you,I trust you
with him when I'm gone.”Oh no why is she talking like
this.
Anthony:”Mom don't talk like that.”he took the words
right out my mouth.
Ma’Gumede:”Don't be silly you know I can't live on
forever certainly not with this disease,my time has come
son.”
Bab’Gumede:”Nkosikazi(darling) please.”
Ma’Gumede:”Gumede wam(my love).”
He was by her side in an instant.
Ma’Gumede:”You have been the best love I've ever
[Link] you for making an honest woman out of me
and trusting me with your last [Link] gave me
beautiful children and I've never wanted for anything
more because what I asked you gave to me.I've checked
all of our finances and you're all set to maintain our
lifestyle even when I'm [Link] to you Anthony and
makoti you'll use my cover pay out for your wedding,my
son use it to marry her and only her.”She's breaking my
heart with all this death talk.
Bab’Gumede:”Ma’Gumede all of this means nothing
without you…everything…all that I am,all that I have you
drove me to [Link] is for you that I went out there and
worked to lay the world at your feet.”aww so sweet.
Ma’Gumede:”It was all [Link] did it all and made me
[Link] have to let me go Yeyeye.I've done my time
on Earth and you made it worth my while.”she said
running her finger on her husband's fallen face.
He pleaded with her but she insists it's her time to [Link]
stops the arguing and tells them all that she loves them
she even says they must tell Antonella the same too that
she'll always love her then she turns in,there's a
momentary silence then the machines beep.
Sandiso:”Mom no!”he cries and we're asked to all step
outside by the nurses and they tend to her.
When we get outside Anthony walks away and I don't
know if I should go after him or give him space,I choose
to sit down and cry silently because heck I'm not a tough
cookie and now I have to be strong for someone else.
It isn't before long that we hear the doctor announce the
time of death and as reality strikes me I realize
Ma’Gumede and is never to come back and go on lunch
dates with me or randomly pop up at the house on
Sundays.
You have to cherish the moments you have with people
lest they become just memories.
I'm woken up by someone shaking me.I must have fallen
asleep on the bench.
I'm first startled when I see who it is and then my heart
falls.
Me:”Antonella where have you been,I tried calling you?”I
ask genuinely worried.
Her:”I know,I watched it ring and why were YOU calling
me about my [Link] didn't Anthony call me?”wow
this girl is impossible.
I choose to calm down and be the bigger person.
Me:”There was no time I…”
Her:”Okay Mrs Gumede Wanna Be,where's my mom?”
Me:”She's gone Antonella she waited on you and you
never came.”
She told me I'm lying and went berserk,she went up to
the reception and asked that they tell her where her
mom is.
The receptionist directs her and with me behind her she
fast walked to the room and before I could stop her she
bolts into the room where her mom had been.
Her:”Anthony…Dad?...Where is mom?”she sounds
scared.
Bab’Gumede:”Princess your mom is…”
Her:”NO!No!I want my mom…Anthony I want my mom..I
want my mooo-haha-oom.”she said in between heart
piercing sobs.
Anthony hugs her and they both sink to the floor,her
cried are haunting.
I want my mom also.I step out to make a call home,I
need to appreciate my mom while I still have one.
Ma’Gumede is [Link] of death,02:10am 26 April.