Christian Church 'Bearers of Blessing' Azcapotzalco

MARRIAGE
SOLID

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his
wife, just as Christ is the head and Savior of the church, which is his body. Just as the
The church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to
make her holy.

Efesios 5:22-26

Elaborated:
Pastor Juan Isaías Limones Anaya
June/2019
Introduction:
Nowadays, a considerable number of marriages end in divorce; and there are others that are on the verge of
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they do it but think twice, since divorce is not a consistent solution that aligns with their
principles and traditional teachings. So they learn to silently absorb the sadness of a marriage full of
discrepancies and disagreements. For this type of circumstance, there is no better advice than that which comes from God,
Who created and established marriage as the foundation and base of the family.
It is difficult to adjust two life stories, two personalities, two ways of being present in the world, such as those of
man and woman. It is hard work and one has to discover their own paths, to try out how to live and how to do it. This
difficulty is accentuated by the social context in which we are immersed, where the realization is emphasized
individual and quick and efficient is valued, which complicates the adjustment that always requires time, patience, but
that in other occasions, causes pain.
Whoever is asked about marriage will surely affirm that marriage is not easy because living together
with a person you didn't always grow up with, no matter how much you love each other, will involve commitments that in a
given moments are difficult to carry out.
First of all, it may be necessary to understand that marriage is not a matter of luck, as some
They usually say. It is the result of a free choice that each one makes.
It is true that there are husbands who were chosen hastily and for little consistent reasons, but never
we can forget that, through marriage, God granted us a grace that we can take advantage of to
may this election be ratified and "increase" the seed of affection that we once had for each other. This seed,
what moved us to reach the altar may, by the grace of God, sprout and grow like a great tree full of fruits and
leafy branches capable of casting shade and sheltering all kinds of birds, as long as there is a feeling
of understanding and simplicity in the heart to accept that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes.

Marriage is a free choice that is not a 'cross' to bear during life as a 'burden'. The idea of
that marriage is like a cross, it is the result of sin, just like the cross that Jesus once carried out of love for
us. When we think that our husband or wife is 'our cross', it is a demonic idea, every time that if
If Jesus had thought this way, we would never have been saved. The cross may come from the sin of others, but that
the other is a blessing, a gift from God in my life; the other is a
mystery, a challenge, an instrument that is needed to reach God, wrapped in supreme happiness.
This is why in times of crisis, aggression, lamentations, or revenge are of no use. Nor,
It is useless to blame the famous 'incompatibility of characters', as there are no absolutely identical people. So
that instead of breaking the relationship, one should strive to adjust the possible differences, to the point of making
to function in marriage like cogwheels of a machine, whose strength lies precisely in their fitting together
the unequal points. If that is achieved, one will be able to experience a victorious love over any circumstance; and it
will achieve true peace.

A long marriage can go through many crises; one of them is the crisis in physical and/or psychological adaptation,
that can arise at the beginning of marriage, which can be overcome, but in the meantime remains disguised by a
considerable time until one day it tragically explodes.
On many occasions, each of the spouses brings to the marriage models that are sometimes very strong derived from the
teachings from their parents, of dreams that they nurtured in their imagination for a long time, but which did not
correspond to reality. Therefore, trying to forcefully adapt the other to old imposed models can
being a great display of immaturity, and a reason that can cause irreversible damage in the couple. Therefore, it
One should meditate on this, putting it in prayer so that God can deal with that attitude, and make the changes that need to be made.
to do, since hurting the partner is like hurting oneself.

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Genesis 2:2323he exclaimed: This is indeed bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called 'woman' because
the man was taken out.24Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and is joined to his wife, and the two become one.
in a single being.
As we learn to love, we begin to ask ourselves more insistently, How to love more and better? How to
learn to wait? What can I offer now? How to start again?
What we must understand is that there is no true love unless the one who loves goes through the cross. It is there where the
the lover and love are purified of selfishness and desires of possession, and a new life, close and resurrected, sprouts forth.
A marriage where the spouses never disagree is concerning. Is it that they are the same in everything or one of the
Personalities are overshadowing one another, which in turn do not reveal themselves to each other as they truly are?
There is a biblical passage that refers to false relationships, those that need to mature, and whose growth is sometimes
very painful
Jeremiah 49:3131Let's go, attack this indifferent nation that lives completely confident, a nation that has no gates.
no locks, and lives very isolated!

On many occasions, there is a false marital peace that is actually nothing more than a ticking time bomb.
Depending on how each crisis is experienced, even the most painful one, it can lead to a deepening of love between
the spouses and the increasing strengthening of marriage or the destruction of it.
So a marriage must understand that loving is a task that never ends; it invites us every time to a
greater conversion, to uncenter ourselves to be more open to the reality of the other, to the new, to the true and
beautiful that is in its depth, to the steps it has been able to take, which manifest its dedication, its love and its
perseverance.
The task of nurturing love is urgent and it is arduous and of special importance in times of conflict,
dryness and apathy that occur over time and are invitations to take a step further to grow in
gratitude.

A successful marriage doesn't happen by magic, it must be developed. Love should never be taken for granted.
spouse, since every head is a world, and over time habits change, therefore,
also the ideas; and those changes can bring consequences. So the best way to counteract those changes
It is to set aside monotony and try to make changes that lead to maturing the relationship instead of weakening it.
Love and happiness are not found by seeking them for oneself but by offering them to one's partner. That is why it is
it's important to take some time to reflect on how the marriage is doing; and to pause a bit to
see if it is necessary to make changes that result in a stronger marriage.

God established marriage as something very good for humanity, as the foundation to start a
family; however, nowadays, couples choose to succumb to the ways of this world, for in
whenever a problem arises, no matter how small it is, they take it as an excuse to separate.
from divorce. Taking divorce as a consistent way out is not God's will; the will of
God is that all alternatives be sought to reach a peaceful solution that leads to marriage.
be stronger and more solid.

For all the above mentioned, it is worth remembering a biblical passage, which when understood can influence.
decisively for a marriage to become a SOLID MARRIAGE.
1 Corintios 13:4-7 4Love is patient, it is kind. Love is not envious or boastful or proud. It does not 5

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behaves roughly, is not selfish, does not get angry easily, does not hold grudges. Love does not delight in evil, but
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who rejoices in the truth.7Everything excuses, everything believes, everything hopes, everything endures.

Lesson 1: The Importance of Unity in Marriage

Objective: For spouses to understand the importance of staying united

Development: The concept of unity, applied to marriage, will be analyzed.

The Bible says that in a marriage there are no longer two but one; this sounds a bit ironic when the arguments begin.
differences in character, in customs, in habits, etc. So the best way to explain this is that
Indeed, it is a single marriage but composed of two people, usually with different ideas; and when
These differences become more apparent over time, and that's when the problems start.
But back to the point, why does the Bible refer to unity if there are actually two people?
Let's start by knowing that God is one God but composed of 3 persons (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) but
these three people are One as it says:
1 John 5:7 RV For there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit; and these
three are one.

So, what do you mean by saying they are ONE, it means there is UNITY in them, that there is only one
agreement among them, and that each one occupies the place that corresponds to them without exceeding their hierarchical line. (See the 1st
Discipleship Manual on the topic of the Trinity and Authority). On the other hand, the fact of having a hierarchy does not
makes them act with AUTHORITARIANISM. In other words, each one does what corresponds to them, taking their place.
which corresponds to him. It is important to note that although Jesus came to do the will of the Father, he had free will.
to decide whether or not to continue with the work that was assigned to him:
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Matthew 26:39 Going a little further, he fell facedown and prayed: My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me;
drink this bitter shot. But let it not be what I want, but what you want
Matthew 26:53 53Do you not think that I can call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve
battalions of angels?

Indeed, Jesus Christ came to fulfill a mission, but he had the freedom to decide whether to fulfill it or not. In other
words, the Father did not impose on him to do what he had to do, but let him decide. But if Jesus decided to do it
on the contrary, it was going to break the purpose for which he came to earth. On the other hand, Jesus Christ wanted to establish
that policy of unity in their church so that it would succeed in everything they did:
John 17:1111I know I will be in the world for longer, but they are still in the world, and I return to you.
Holy Father, protect them with the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one, just as
we.

The previous verse gives us the guideline to know that it is possible to live in UNITY even when there is more than one person,
as long as the two or more people do what they are supposed to do and where they are supposed to do it.
And since we are referring to the church, we will also cite the words of the Apostle Paul to compare it with a
marriage
Ephesians 5:2323For the husband is the head of his wife, just as Christ is the head and Savior of the church, which
it's your body.

It is clear that in the previous verse, the position that each person must take in marriage is established.
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The husband is the head and the wife is the body. This does not mean that the woman does not have a brain to think or
decide. Fortunately, many old traditions that viewed women as objects have already been broken.
use, and it has been given the honorable place it deserves.
What the previous verse means is that just as in the Trinity there is an organization and an order.
hierarchical so that there is a single agreement, it must also exist in marriage. Each member of the Trinity
They have the freedom to think and also to decide, but each one honors and respects their position and the position of others.
other members. The hierarchical position does not grant authority, but rather the humility with which it is exercised.
authority. And the best example of this can be found in the person of Jesus Christ when he was on earth;
he renounced his high position of glory to become human.
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Philippians 2:8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even
death of cross!

Jesus humbly accepted being reduced to man to become a channel of blessing for humanity. This
it is the essence of a good relationship: humility allows a position to be accepted so that this act becomes
a blessing for many. Similarly, it should happen in marriage: each one must humbly accept their
position to be a blessing to your own marriage; and why not say it, also to other marriages.
But when this does not happen, that is to say, when there is dissatisfaction with the established position in the organization,
starts with breaking the unity and ends with a definitive rupture in the relationship. It is worth remembering that this
the same happened with the person of Lucifer. God created him and placed him in a position of honor and respect, but for him it was not
that position was enough. And although he had the power to govern and to decide, he also had to know that he
it was part of a whole, and that whole is God. So being in disagreement or discontent with the place in
where God had placed him, he simply ended up breaking the harmony of a whole. The discontent reached such
degree that wanted to occupy the position of who was his HEAD, that is, wanted to take a place that did not correspond to him,
and ended up being expelled from his home.
It is no coincidence that when the devil saw that man and woman were created in the Garden of Eden,
focusing its attention on the woman. This is a curious fact, since initially there was no order of authority.
between man and woman, for although man was created first, God never established that man
was in authority over the woman. The order of authority came as a result of the disobedience of the being
human
Genesis 3:1616To the woman he said: I will greatly multiply your sorrow in childbirth, and you will bring forth children in pain. You will desire
your husband, and he will rule over you.

In addition to this, the Bible clearly specifies who was deceived, and who actually sinned:
1 Timothy 2:1414Furthermore, it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman; and she, once deceived, fell into sin.

It is clear that the devil did not know what was going to happen in the future, but he did understand what a hierarchical order was, all
since he was in one and challenged him; however, he is a very wise character who does not do things by chance. He
he observed the character of man and woman, and found that they were very different in their actions; and above all in
his reactions. So after analyzing both sides, he made the decision to deposit his nature of
disobedience in women primarily.
From this statement we can understand that the woman had and has a great influence over man, since that
it was part of God's plan for the couple he created; his purpose was for the character of each to make a
perfect complement with each other, to form a solid team that would make the right decisions. This was demonstrated
immediately since the woman did not take long to convince the man to also disobey the order
of God.

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So from that event God placed man as the head of the woman, but sadly, both already had
planted in their hearts a seed of disobedience; so it would be difficult for both to accept their position in the
hierarchical order established by God.
Lesson 2: Keeping the first love

Objective: To understand that the love that united them must remain alive.

Development: The importance of keeping alive that love that gave rise to marriage will be remembered.

One of the most important aspects that make a marriage strong is that it must always maintain
the flame of first love; that first love that united them so much that they decided to join their lives to
always. It is worth mentioning that first love is so important that God himself mentions that the lack
of the same is a cause for a relationship to become deficient.
Revelation 2:44However, I have against you that you have abandoned your first love.

The first love makes spouses always remain deeply in love with each other.
1 Peter 4:88Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.

Verbally, first love is expressed when the husband is well aware that for his wife, compliments and the
Compliments are essential to nourish their self-esteem. Therefore, you should never forget to tell them expressions
Like: How beautiful you look, today you look better than usual, you smell so nice, that dress looks great on you, etc.
These expressions are not 'clichés' but phrases that will enhance the cohesion in the marital relationship.
long live it.
On the other hand, the husband should also highlight his wife's ability to build, to plan, to
collaborate, etc. and leverage that capability as a help and advantage to make correct decisions.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.28Her children rise up and bless her; also her husband praises her.

Man is not very inclined to crave praise for his face, for his body or for his personal appearance, to
Less that it is something narcissistic, but he is indeed very inclined to desire praise for his achievements and triumphs. For this there is
It is important to remember that all human beings were created with different talents; not all of us have the same capacity.
to be builders, technicians, or professionals, but we definitely all have virtues. Surely the
wife, after being married to her husband for some time, already knows what virtue or talent her husband has; so it is fair
that praises him by highlighting that virtue. On the other hand, the wife with her great ability to convince, in some
cases can make her husband perform tasks that perhaps were impossible for him to do. If finally the husband
he manages to discover another facet of his ability due to the influence of his wife, there will be a reason to celebrate. There is
people who achieve their goal at the first opportunity, but there are others who take time to achieve it. So if the
the husband does not succeed on the first try, the wife should not mock him but encourage him, telling him phrases where he blames himself
anything, except for his lack of ability; that will encourage him to try again. But if outright, the
the husband doesn't want to do it, it's because he doesn't like it or simply prefers to pay someone else to do it. This neither
it must be a source of mockery or annoyance from the wife, since her husband, although he is being a GOOD
The PROVIDER, through their trade or profession, simply has no interest in developing another activity.
1 Corinthians 7:3434her interests are divided. The unmarried woman, just like the young single woman, worries about
the things of the Lord; she strives to dedicate herself to the Lord both in body and in spirit. But the married woman
She is concerned about the things of this world and how to please her husband.

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To please does not mean to promote machismo or misogyny, but rather to try to maintain respect, reaching
mutual agreements through dialogue.
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.10Love one another with brotherly affection, respecting and honoring each other.

Lesson 3: Reasons that originate differences in marriage

Objective: Analyze the most common causes that generate discrepancies.

Development: Some causes that result in problems in marriage will be studied.

First of all, it is important to make it clear that a willingness to resolve the differences is needed.
They should be present in the marriage; that is, each spouse must prioritize reaching a solution to the conflict.
without taking shortcuts. And secondly, it is important to recognize that God is the most important means to find the
solution to the problem; and for God to help us, we need to be pleasing to Him; and to be pleasing to Him, it is necessary
to have humility.
Therefore, a marriage that wishes and longs to stay united for a lifetime must start with having a heart
respectful in where affectionate, positive, abundant, and loving words are the key.
When a marriage faces a crisis stage, it must prepare to fight; and thus try to recover for
all the means their marital life, since when those two spouses made their marital vows, it
they did before the Lord, even if they did not have a religious ceremony; therefore, they must face the
conflicts with patience; and above all, adopt an attitude of humility to accept and listen to your partner.
A marriage that is going through a crisis is a marriage that is sick, and therefore needs attention.
A crisis is a temporary state of emotional disruption and disorganization, characterized by the inability of
individual to face a particular situation, and obtain a positive outcome or provide some solution to the problem.
A marital crisis occurs when spouses do not know how to handle their differences; and as a consequence they
they offend each other mutually, going to the extreme of seriously harming each other or reaching the point where they no longer care
nothing to either of the two, or to both; and the best solution for them is divorce.
A marriage reaches a crisis point when the symptoms were not addressed, and the problem was allowed to continue.
the lack of respect, disregard, selfishness, etc. that usually starts with discussions about issues
everyday, but it worsens with multiple increases in the aggressive tone of voice, until it reaches attacks
mutual verbal abuse, attitudes of indifference, emotional pressure, and in some cases even physical violence.
The attitude of sincere forgiveness, both in asking for it and in giving it unconditionally, is an element
fundamental to control or at least mitigate marital crises. But besides this, it is necessary to raise awareness
about the roots that generated the crisis, seeking comprehensive solutions that accept both spouses.
The roots of crises are generally differences of opinion on how to handle daily matters.
to live. Therefore, to resolve these roots, we must accept that those differences exist; and also accept
it is likely that we do not always have the reason; but moreover, to accept that there are feelings of pain and sadness in
our heart, and therefore it is necessary to change various attitudes and learn to be more tolerant.
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1 Peter 3:8-9 Finally, live in harmony with one another; share in joys and sorrows, practice love.
brotherly, be compassionate and humble.9Do not repay evil for evil or insult for insult; rather, bless,
for this they were called, to inherit a blessing.

If a marriage is in a very advanced phase of crisis, it will obviously be more difficult to recover it,
but not impossible. For those who are in Christ, everything is possible. The best thing to do is to try to
revive it with patience, with a lot of softness and tenderness. One must adopt a very humble attitude and

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forgiving, but at the same time transparent and sincere to express feelings in a restorative tone. It is
It is advisable that this is done with pastoral assistance.
There are cases where emotional decomposition is so strong that there seems to be no solution anymore;
however, everything humanly possible must be done as children of God, seeking help
adequate.
The attitude of the children of God is to do things correctly, knowing that this honors God.
Above all, it is important to bear in mind that God has given all the tools for those who live
with the identity of children of God, they can put them into practice and resolve any kind of crisis.
It is definitely not easy, but with patience, humility, and above all in obedience to the word of God,
yes it is possible.
Anyone would think that the ideal marriage is one in which no kind of
conflicts; however, this is a utopia. A good marriage does not happen because there are no problems; more
Well, a good marriage is one that knows how to solve problems. That's why it's important to leave well.
emphasized that when a marriage does not stop a bit to analyze the root of its problem, and thus find
a solution usually opts for the easy way out; but it must be clear that this is not God's will:
1 Corintios 7:10-11 10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): that the wife should not separate from
her husband.11
However, if she separates, she should not remarry; otherwise, she should reconcile with her husband.
Likewise, let the man not divorce his wife.
It is noteworthy that in this passage the phrase 'if it is separated' is used; this expression leaves open a
possibility of separation, but not a separation for the slightest pretext, but when a relationship becomes a
danger that threatens the physical and moral integrity of one of the spouses, such as: mistreatment,
abuse, infidelity or sexual immorality So unless there is a reason for danger, spouses should
analyze the possible causes that are generating the problem, without disregarding any cause no matter how minimal it may seem.

The following are some reasons that can cause problems in marriage:
a) Crossed Times
It is becoming increasingly common for husbands and wives to see each other less regularly; and this is a result of how they
they carry out sleep preferences and practices. Many wives prefer to go to bed early and get up
early, while spouses prefer to go to bed later and stay in it longer in the morning. The
wives get up early to exercise and prepare for the day, while husbands stay until
afternoon watching something on Netflix or ESPN.

Sadly, this pattern is also very common in Christian marriages. The differences in sleep patterns and
In lifestyles that lead the couple to spend very little time together. That is why there is a danger.
of simply living together more than cohabiting as a couple. And the tension is sharper in Christian couples.
Christian marriages are exposed to joyfully reflect the reality of the gospel, but for this to happen
There must be expressions of love, forgiveness, patience, respect, grace, and kindness; and this cannot happen.
achieve if time is not shared together.
In order to achieve the type of relational intimacy that the gospel of grace requires, there must be intentionality.
We are all plagued by a demanding life of trials; but also by the sin that is latent; however,
We have the same amount of time each week, the same commandments, and the same Holy Spirit.
b) Lack of acceptance
Learning each one to be what they are, with all their wealth of personality; their emotional and intellectual resources.
physical and aesthetic, but also with the limitations inherent to our way of being. To be what one is takes
time and often is threatened by the desire to be dominant or by allowing oneself to be dominated to avoid problems. For
therefore, it is necessary to discover and accept our shortcomings in doing and in loving so that we can
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accept and love the other in their reality. Generally, our tendency is to focus on the defects and
the shortcomings of the other, considering that our weaknesses and limits are small, manageable, and sometimes even
Nice, but those from the other one are not. This is how we easily assign to the other the cause of our pains and frustrations.
what we find in the life of a couple. And it is certainly easier to blame the partner for the problems, than
to take on one's own part in those difficulties.
c) Use 'I' more than 'we'
We need to learn to use the noun 'we', which is a slow process that takes time since it is about
create a new reality. For this, each person must grow in a completely independent autonomy from the
models and customs learned in the families of origin. One must face the challenge of being free to create
new relationships and having priorities different from those that were held previously. Attachments to people and styles
of the relationship they had with the members of the family of origin, as well as the excessive rejection of them,
they reveal a significant dependency, and hinder the formation of a new culture in marriage. Use with
more often the "We" is the result of good teamwork, as that is precisely what marriage is,
a team.
d) Lack of acceptance of personal differences
Another never-ending task is having deficiencies in the ability to accept the differences between us.
As time goes by, it is discovered how differences mark all levels of existence and range from
the rhythms of life, tastes, ways of expressing themselves, how to spend money, the personal interpretation of the
things and events, and the way to grow and seek God.
So it is necessary to understand that discovering and especially accepting differences in marriage, in many
occasions cause pain. Generally, our veiled or explicit desires are for the other to change their tastes,
rhythms, interests, and criteria so that they become more similar to our own. Facing the different takes us out of
our frameworks and we judge it inadequate, abnormal, threatening to the established path. The acceptance of the other, with their
Differences take years and require effort and kindness from each one, until slowly a world opens up.
new where it begins to be accepted and valued that the other is different, with sensitivity and dreams different from
own. It is difficult to have a universal and freer heart that allows us to accept that we are not the measure of
the others, neither of those close nor of those far away.
e) Stop respecting each spouse's space
In a couple's relationship, not everything is private and not everything is common; and it is necessary to start establishing the areas.
shared, the time to dedicate to them and the activities to be done. This requires intense dialogue, clarity about oneself to
to address needs, preferences, and understanding in order to reach agreements that facilitate the development of individuals and the
couple's love.
An additional problem in this marital task is that the needs, possibilities, tastes, and
Circumstances change over the years, and that's why it's necessary to negotiate many times as we go along.
that the agreements reached are shown to be insufficient.
f) Falling into routine
Routine is a ghost that hovers around every couple and threatens to gnaw at the vitality of their love.
Years together, the daily chores and fatigue wrap us in a cloak of skepticism, of laziness, that
it is difficult to imagine a different and better tomorrow. We repeat without choosing, we live without being surprised, and everything takes on a
similar size and a tiring gray color. The routine will always be a symptom and an invitation: our love is
installed, we must go deeper to discover with new and more penetrating eyes the delicate, the beautiful, the
the only ones we are as individuals and as a couple.
g) The economic crisis
The economic crisis is a common problem in marriage, and it can seriously damage the marital relationship if
The spouses do not seek in God the grace to endure their consequences and maintain unity.
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At that moment, mutual accusations, feelings of inferiority or superiority, and lack of money may arise.
it can become the "scapegoat" of old resentments that will lead to various reproaches. Therefore, it is
It is important to value what has been achieved so far; and to know that for those who love God, all things work together.
they help for good; and that God has given us the ability to move forward, as long as both spouses are
willing to emerge from the crisis by staying together.
h) The lack of communication
Another very important point to keep in mind is that many times the crisis occurs due to lack
of communication, this problem is common not only in young couples but also in mature couples,
therefore, this point must be taken into serious consideration. It should be remembered that in life
There are disagreements in the marriage, but separation is not the best option; it is better to resolve the problem.
before making a hasty decision. Many times it is believed that separation is the best option, but
it's not like that, on the contrary, one must face the situation by showing interest and especially maturity. In the
In times of crisis, it is essential to pray together as a couple and maintain good communication with God. Success
In a marital restoration, thanks is given to the dependence that both have on the Lord, and the
trust in leaving all malice and spirit of separation of the enemy in their hands.

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Lesson 4: Tips for a Stronger Marriage

Objective: To expose some practices that can improve a marital relationship

Development: Some recommendations will be given to make the marriage stronger.

The following are some basic practices that can make a marriage stronger.
a) Plan your meetings.
Every night, after putting the children to bed, the husband and wife should sit down to talk; and keep doing so,
even when your children are already grown. Any topic that is on both of your minds can be addressed. This
it is an invaluable opportunity to be able to know what we think, what worries us, what moves us, without
the noise that surrounds us. Instead of turning on the television, it is better to set aside some time to sit together face to face.
face, and talk. Over time, this practice will prove to be a good opportunity to show kindness,
love, forgiveness, patience, and service.
b) Let us pray together.

When talking about solid, godly, and attractive marriages, it is usually always about marriages that
praying together. Of course, praying for a medical emergency or for food is to be expected, but what if we start
to pray daily giving thanks to God for the grace He has granted us to be together; asking Him to shape
more our character to understand and understand each other better; likewise, to ask for humility to recognize our
mistakes, and having the courage to ask for and give forgiveness.

c) Learn together.
Connect your minds as a couple. This may involve things like learning something new, considering new
ideas, or discuss others. A surprising intimacy occurs when spouses discover new things together. The
Opportunities are many, and they can include everything from learning how to make a stew to studying a particular subject.
related to the activity they carry out daily, or another topic of interest to both. The point is
connect your minds on something in common.
d) Take walks together.
A hobby that can be very beneficial in marriage is taking walks together, whether by car or
walking. The mere act of walking together can provide the opportunity to discuss a topic that seems
superficial but at the same time can be fun, like remembering anecdotes from youth or childhood; remembering
the old neighborhood, etc. It's more convenient to do it alone (as a couple), so that it feels more intimate.
Old age should not be allowed to end love; on the contrary, old age should serve to better understand the need.
being with your partner. It is important to understand that needs change over time, but the
unity should never change.
Always seek the path of peace
The most important thing is to always seek the path of peace through dialogue; and if a marriage does not have the
capacity to reach an agreement by himself, he must remember that he has the spiritual support of his Pastor or
spiritual leader so that with their help I can find the path of reconciliation. And the powerful tool that
Christian spouses who wish to live under the agreements of God's teachings and under His authority must.
same word of God. That is why when a problem arises, one must seek the direction of the Holy Spirit, through
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the Bible. Sometimes when a problem arises, not both parties are always willing to take the time to read together the
word of God, whenever someone's mood does not allow them to share a moment of reading to give
solution to the problem; but this is where caution must be exercised on the other part, so that even if it is individually
Take some time to pray for your marriage and seek God's direction through His word.
Hebrews 12:14 14Pursue peace with all, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.
Lesson 5: Origin of Infidelity

To expose some causes that can lead to infidelity.

Development: Some causes that can generate infidelity will be analyzed.

Infidelity is that which occurs when an individual does not respect the marital pact in which
he made the vows before his partner.
Infidelity in marriage brings serious consequences; and often causes immense pain that
it can even be considered worse than death for the spouse.
In some countries called 'first world', it is considered normal for married people to have sexual relations.
outside of marriage; but in the Bible, this act is conceived as adultery; and adultery is repugnant
in the eyes of God. In fact, in the Law given to Israel, adultery was punished with death.

Sometimes we think that infidelity begins when one of the two parties gives in to a forbidden "passion",
but it is not always like this; infidelity can start much earlier in the heart, that is, when a member of
marriage begins to enclose itself, judging each other's mistakes and exposing them in front of others.
Such an attitude is of no use, which, in addition to 'poisoning' the relationship, could place you in the hands of false advisors.
that unfortunately feed on and even rejoice in increasing the division between spouses.
It is clear that there are also those who have good intentions in helping, but do not realize that in this type of
Confidences only one of the two had the right to speak and most of the time will only give their 'reasons,'
Well, one fails to see the other’s. There is a biblical passage that mentions this attitude which occurs very
frequently among spouses:
Matthew 7:33Why do you pay attention to the splinter in your brother's eye, but not to the beam that is in your own?
in yours?

Another very serious cause that can lead to infidelity is the aging of relationships, the famous
loss of novelty. By forgetting that every human being will always be a mystery and a novelty, one or both
they can project their own inner boredom onto the face of another, and think that they will find joy in someone else
company. It is not uncommon for the spouse who sought a new adventure to end up divorcing.
to get married again. May God help him find a way to correct his attitude, since if not, he will go through life
repeating the same mistakes.
So a mandatory question arises: What leads a couple that was able to face so many challenges together, to
give up at a moment that should be the happiest and calmest of their relationship? This, which would be the period of the
harvest, the richest and most precious time of married life, often turns into a cause of indifference or
mutual implications. A powerful reason could be that one of the two believes that their partner is aging.
too fast and therefore, he or she needs a younger partner. This is a common mistake that ultimately only
generates unhappiness for a third party, who at first may be attracted by maturity or some interest
particular, but in the long run will be involved in a constant struggle with a much older person that must be
to care as if it were a teenager.
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It is important to understand that we must live the various stages of our life joyfully in grace.
Sir. A well-lived old age is a source of peace, as we have passed the time of greatest hardships, remaining
waiting for the coming of the Lord to rejoice in Him eternally. However, the tragic thing about it is that, whatever it may be
reason for a marital crisis, the idea that divorce is the only solution has become more frequent for it
problem, so that each one can 'go their own way' as if they were breaking a business agreement.
On the other hand, it is clear that when physical, psychological, or moral violence makes one of the spouses a danger
for the health of the other and the children, separation may be the only means to legally preserve them; but
One must never forget that the marriage certificate issued by a civil judge is only part of the marriage, for the
the complement of that act is the marriage pact in which vows were made before God, vows that are sacred and
irreversible. However, in the case we are analyzing, which is 'infidelity,' it can indeed be a
legal reason for a person to file for divorce:
And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.9I tell you that, except in cases of sexual immorality, anyone who divorces his wife and marries another...
another, commits adultery.
Naturally, as already mentioned before, all resources must be exhausted to avoid divorce. The work of
A spiritual advisor is of vital importance for the couple to reach an agreement of peace and forgiveness.

Another important reason for infidelity to arise in a marriage may be that the couple does not have a
excellent communion with God; that is to say, when one spouse or both spend more time watching television or
some other distraction, instead of seeking the presence of God through prayer, there comes a moment when the
false image of what the world presents through television, cinema, and the internet creates a
discontent with what one has at home. This leads to coveting the type of women depicted in the
screen, to then search for them in a real way. But the Bible is clear about this:
Matthew 5:27-2827You have heard that it was said: 'Do not commit adultery.'28But I tell you that anyone who looks
To a woman, and greed has already committed adultery with her in the heart.

Once again, it must be clearly established: Adultery is a form of sexual immorality; and according to what
the Bible says, this can be grounds for legal separation (Divorce).
Matthew 19:9 9
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman,
another, commit adultery.
But it should be remembered that God views marriage as a sacred union that should last a lifetime.
Therefore, divorce is not looked upon favorably by God, sinceit breaks the symbolic meaning of marriage; and it is
an attempt by the devil to destroy what God has built. But furthermore, it demonstrates an idea contrary to the
God's purpose, exposing the security of the family.
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1 Corinthians 7:39 The woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives; but if the husband dies, she is free.
to marry whom she wants, as long as it is in the Lord.

On the other hand, a question arises: Is adultery an unforgivable sin?

In the Bible, we read that God forgave men and women, including adulterers who repented of their
sins and abandoned their immoral lives. With this we can prove that God has the ability to forgive; without
Embargo, the most direct question is: Will the spouse be willing to forgive?
If what is said in 1 Corinthians 13:7 about love forgiving everything were to be applied, the spouse would have to
forgive; however, that is a very personal decision that cannot be forced, since perhaps in that
Spouse being the harmed party, love has ended; therefore, if there is no longer love, there will be no forgiveness either.

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.

A solid marriage must keep in mind that:

Marriage is for love.

To love is a decision, not a feeling. To love is to give. The measure of love is the capacity for sacrifice.
The measure of love is to love without measure. He who does not know how to die does not know how to love. Do not forget: to love is already a reward in itself.

To love is to seek the good of the other: the greater the good, the greater the love. Children are the fullness of love.
matrimonial.

True love does not expire.

It stays fresh and lasts until death, even though any cohabitation eventually brings problems. Love, loves.
today and tomorrow. The whim, only loves today. Marriages are like museum vases: the more years and
wounds they have, are more valuable, as long as they remain intact. To endure the wounds and the file of time, and
Staying in one piece is what they value the most. Love works wonders.

All marital fidelity must pass the most demanding test: that of duration.
Faithfulness is constancy. In life, one must choose between the easy or the right. It is easy to be consistent on some days.
It is right to be consistent all your life. It is easy to be consistent in times of joy, it is right to do so in times of
Tribulation. The coherence that lasts throughout life is called fidelity. It is right to love in difficulty.
because it is when they need it the most.

Seneca stated: "If you want to be loved, love."

True love does not seek to be happy, but to make someone else happy. Your partner's happiness should be your own.
happiness. You have not married a body, you have married a person, who will be happy loving and being
Beloved. You don't marry to be happy. You marry to make your partner happy.

5. Marriage is not 'martyrdom.'

It depends on you whether married life is not like a besieged fortress, in which, according to the saying, 'those who are inside want to get out...'

Outside, they would like to enter, but those inside would like to leave.

Marital love is like a campfire; it goes out if you don't feed it.
Every memory is nourishment for love. Think a lot and well of your partner. Focus on their virtues and forgive their...
defects. May love be your uniform. To love is to make the beloved exist forever. To love is to say: 'You, thank you
to me, you will not die.

7. To persevere in love until death, live by the three 'Ds': God. Dialogue. Details.
God: "Family that prays together, stays together."
b. Dialogue, to prevent problems from growing.
c. Detalles: de palabra y de obra. “Qué bonito peinado”. “¿Qué se te antoja comer?” “Eres el mejor esposo del
world." "Today, I'll make dinner." "Our children are proud of you." Marital love can never be
idle.
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FINALLY, A SOLID MARRIAGE MUST NOT FORGET THESE DETAILS:

1.Allow the freedom of the other.

By nature we are selfish, which is a demonstration of immaturity that seeks to control. However, love
Maduro understands that his partner is a life companion and not a possession that he can control.

Live your own life, don't wait for someone else to live it.
Once, John Maxwell's wife was asked if her husband made her happy; she quickly replied no,
because she had decided to be happy every day by her husband's side. Therefore, you decide to be happy, and this does not
it depends on what the other does or does not do for you.

Make every moment a special time with your partner

Maturity leads us not to wait for time to enjoy. We must take advantage of every moment, no matter how small.
that is, to enjoy the couple without skimping on time. Remember that love is built from small moments.

4. Sincerely forgive, without resentment or reproaches.

The immature lover keeps a list of debts owed by their partner, while the mature one forgives all offenses and
It does not keep a record of it. Besides forgiving, one must eliminate all resentment that bitter the heart and extinguish
the love for your partner.

5. Offer support and advice, putting criticism aside.

One of the characteristics of maturity in love is that it is always there to lend a shoulder and provide support.
what is needed at any moment. Instead of criticizing and judging, it focuses on advising, understanding and
encourage your partner empathetically.

6. Understand and comprehend the needs and interests of the other.

Truly understanding and comprehending the partner is part of acceptance. When we accept ourselves as we are,
we learn to enjoy the qualities of our partner, putting aside those things that we do not like. It is achieved
understanding the other as we get to know them emotionally; and it is that which leads us to understand them.

7. Offers respect to oneself and does not allow abuse.

To love properly, one must love and value oneself. When one loves oneself adequately, one can love.
to the other with security and self-respect; earning respect from the other. Avoiding abuse. One cannot give what
it is not available.

8. Show confidence in the other.

Trusting your partner is a demonstration of maturity and self-confidence. When love reaches these levels,
then live your freedom; and the best part is that you let the other live theirs. You free yourself from fear, from the
suspicion, of persecution, and of many other things; and you enjoy security and loyalty.

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9. Assume fidelity as a value of love.
Mature love is demonstrated in the loyalty to the person you truly love; true love does not seek the
neither is selfish. Mature love thinks of the other first, prioritizing what is best; and far from destroying,
build.

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