Module-3

Understanding Harmony in the

Prepared by
[Link] H
Assistant prof
CSE,dept
MITT college
Feeling of Relationship as the Basis for Harmony in the Family
• The harmony in the family has primarily to do with the fulfillment of
relationship between one human being and the other human being.
• In order to fulfill relationship, it is necessary to understand
relationship.
Understanding Relationship
• We will now explore into the four important aspects of relationship:
1. Relationship is – between one Self (I1) and another Self (I2)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in one Self (I1) for the other Self
(I2)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite
4. The fulfilment of these feelings and their right evaluation lead to
mutual happiness
[Link] is – between one Self (I1) and another Self (I2)
• Relationship is already there. We do not have to construct or create
relationship.
• All we need to do is to understand relationship and fulfill it.
• Relationship is between one Self and the other Self.
• It is the Self which is recognizing the relationship, and not the Body.
• It is the Self which relates to the other, and not the Body
2. There are feelings in relationship – in one Self (I1) for the other Self (I2)
• The important issue in human relationship is that of the feelings.
• We can see that feelings are in the Self, not in the Body.
• It is the Self which has the feelings and which recognizes the feelings.
• To understand relationship, one has to understand the Self and the
naturally acceptable feelings in the Self.
3. These feelings can be recognised – they are definite
• These feelings can be recognized, they are definite. There are nine
feelings in relationship.
• These are the feelings which we can understand, which we can
ensure within ourselves, which we can share with others and thus
ensure mutual fulfillment in relationship.
• These are the feelings which are naturally acceptable to us in the
relationship with the other human being.
• Feelings (values) in relationship:
1. Trust (foundation value) 2. Respect 3. Affection 4. Care 5. Guidance 6.
Reverence 7. Glory 8. Gratitude 9. Love (complete value)
4. Fulfilment of feelings in relationship and their evaluation leads to
mutual happiness
• When we have these naturally acceptable feelings in the Self, we
share them with the other and when we are both able to evaluate the
feelings rightly, it leads to mutual happiness, i.e. the happiness of
oneself as well as the happiness of the other.
• 'Trust' – the Foundational Value in Relationship
• Trust is to be assured that the other intends to make me happy and
prosperous.
Distinguishing between Intention and Competence
• If you try to analyze your own responses, many things will get clarified.
• You’ll find that while evaluating yourself, you evaluate on the basis of your
intention (natural acceptance).
• You think that you are a good person as your intentions are good.
• On the other hand, when you evaluate the other, you evaluate him on the basis of
his/her competence.
• You find that s(he) is not able to make you happy all the time.
• Many times, or most of the time he ends up making you unhappy. Therefore, you
think that the other wants to make you unhappy. You have a doubt on other’s
intention.
• On the basis of lack of competence, we conclude about the lack of intention of
the other.
• When we doubt their intention, instead of accepting the other as a relative, we
have a feeling of opposition. This is the common mistake that we make in
relationship today
• Feeling of Respect
• Respect is right evaluation.
• When we are rightly evaluated, we feel respected. When we are not
rightly evaluated, we feel disrespected.
• Disrespect can take place in three ways:
Over evaluation – evaluating for more than what it is
Under evaluation – evaluating for less than what it is
Otherwise evaluation – evaluating for other than what it is
• If we look at our day-to-day behavior, we generally tend to do one of
these three – over evaluation, under evaluation or otherwise evaluation. If
any of these three takes place, the other person feels uncomfortable,
disrespected.
Minimum Content of Respect – The Other is Similar to Me
1. Our purpose is the same
2. Our program is same
3. Our potential is same
Disrespect Arising out of Differentiation leading to Discrimination
• First set of differentiation is on the basis of body– on the basis of age, gender, race
and physical strength. This is based on the gross misunderstanding that human
being = Body.
• The truth is that human being =co-existence of the Self and the Body.
• The second set of differentiation is made on the basis of physical facility – on the
basis of wealth and post. The gross misunderstanding here is that physical facility =
happiness. The truth is that happiness is to be in a state of harmony.
• The third basis of differentiation is on the basis of beliefs – on the basis of
differentisms (thought systems like socialism, capitalism, etc.), different sects, and
different sets of information prevalent in the society.
Right Feeling – within Myself or from the Other?
Right feeling in myself or Getting right feeling from the other
• The answer is quite obvious that there can be continuity of right
feeling, if it is from within and base done right understanding.
• But generally, we do keep making effort for getting right feeling from
the other in continuity
Role of Physical Facility in Fulfillment of Relationship
• You can now see that physical facility has a limited role to play in the
fulfillment of the feeling in human- human relationship.
• To fulfill the feeling of care, physical facility is certainly required. For
other than the feeling of care, physical facility only has a symbolic role
to play.
My Participation (Value) in Family
• My participation (value), my family is to ensure harmony in the family,
ensure mutual happiness, ensure justice in the family by way of:
• Ensuring right feelings(trust, respect, affection, care, guidance,
reverence, glory, gratitude and love) in myself – this leads to my
happiness.
Dimensions (Systems) of Human Order
1. Education-Sanskar
2. Health-Self regulation
3. Production-Work
4. Justice-Preservation
5. Exchange-Storage
Natural Outcome of Right Understanding
1. The happiness is ensured by having the right understanding and right feeling
in the Self.
2. The prosperity is a feeling of the availability of more than required physical
facility. To ensure it, Right understanding is required at the base, along with
physical facility.
3. The tradition of living with happiness and prosperity starts from the family
order and ultimately, continuity can be ensured by the universal human order.
Thank You